A Second Admonition to Edward Bagshaw, Part 2 · Section 29
Sect. 29. E. B. The pride of your heart,14 Crime, Duty reproached, and ſcandal made a duty. diſcovered by your writings is ſo apparent, that it cannot but be known and read of all men: to go no further for inſtances than your laſt Books, what needed you have told the world in print, that you chaſe once on Eaſter day to communicate in a very populous Church, purpoſely that it might be the further known. Is not this like the Hypocrites to blow a Trumpet before, and to do your actions that they may be ſeen of men? What other end could you have in doing that ſo publickly then, or in declaring it now, but a vain glorious hope, that doubting and unſatisfied Chriſtians might look upon your example, as their Pole-ſtar, and accordingly direct their courſe?
R. B. 1. As to the Pride of my heart,Of Pride. I ſhall firſt ſay this in general; that I am paſt doubt I have too much of it: As no man is wholly cured of that odious vice, ſo I am one that have no cauſe to ſay that I am perfect. But theſe things I can confidently ſay, 1. That ſo far as I am proud, I ſin as much againſt my own judgement, I imagine, as moſt men alive do; there being ſew that ever I was acquainted with, that have ſaid and written more againſt it than I have done: I have had theſe thirty years and more, more odious conceptions of that ſin, and a deeper ſenſe of its commonneſs and prevalency in the world, and the wofull ruines which it makes in the Church and State and ſouls; and how frequently it ſheweth it ſelf even in men of great piety and worth, than of almoſt any other ſin. I have had ſo many thouſand thoughts and words againſt it, as make me much more culpable, if I be proud. 2. And I ſhall ſin as much againſt my Conſcience in being proud as moſt men in the world. As my Judgement is ſo much againſt the ſin, ſo my Conſcience commandeth me a very Low and Conſtant ſelf-abaſement: It telleth me, that whether I look to a corruptible painfull fleſh, or to an Ignorant underſtanding, or to a ſinful will, or to a ſinful and unprofitable life, I have ſo little to be proud of, as will render my pride exceeding odious. 3. I do evidently ſee the odiouſneſs of this ſin in others: Were it not for ſeeming to retort your charge, I ſhould ſay, that though I cannot as you do conclude of the heart, yet the uſual Enſigns of Pride (with Temerity and Injudiciouſneſs, Boldneſs and Blindneſs) do appear to me ſo monſtrous in your Writings, above the ſize that ordinary ſinners ever fall to, as maketh me the more apprehend, how dreadful it is to give way to pride in the beginnings; And methinks I ſee as written on the front of your Writings, Be not high-minded, but fear. Therefore I am ſtill the more culpable, if I abound with that which is ſo terrible a warning to me, in your ſelf, and other ſuch as you. 4. And as I every day watch and pray againſt it (and if ever I knew any thing of my ſelf in the world, I am certain that I live in an habituate and ordinary apprehenſion of my baſeneſs and unworthineſs, and of the utter vanity of humane applauſe) ſo I find my ſelf partly glad that you tell me of my Pride, that (whatever you mean) I may have one more check to keep it under; and if it be a meſſenger of Satan to buffet me, I hope it will not be in vain. 5. And I can aſſure you, that theſe Writings which ſo exaſperate you, had never come from me, if I had not firſt ſo far conquered the eſteem of man, and love of reputation, as to be willing to caſt my ſelf upon reproach, and to be much indifferent as to the opinion of man? For I was not ſo ignorant as not to foreſee that ſuch as you would take the detection and reproof of their errors for a heinous injury, and be angry at him that called them to repent, and would furiouſly ſcatter the fetide excrements of their gall, in revilings of ſuch as contradict them. Methinks then you ſhould ſee, that I laid by ſome Pride, when I cared ſo little for your good word, and expoſed my ſelf ſo readily to your Calumnies.
2. And I muſt tell you that though you do as much to cure my pride, as almoſt any mortal man that ever I had to do with, by the way of open demonſtration of the Enſigns of it by your ſelf (as the ſight of a Leproſie would cure one that were in love with it;) yet you are too blame for Tempting me ſo much to pride as you do on the other ſide, while you decry it: For what is it elſe but an inviting and tempting a man to be proud, to tell the world, that you have nothing to charge him with to prove it, but ſuch ſilly Calumnies as theſe of yours?
3. And yet I will ſay, that I ſee now that a mans enemies may be more uſeful to him than his friends: For I can hear that of my Pride from you, which never friend by Word or Letter to my remembrance told me in my life. The more too blame they, if you be not miſtaken.
2. But next let us ſee your evidence or proof:The Reaſons of my publick Communicating. Your firſt is, [What need I have told the world, &c.] would you have an anſwer to your queſtion or not? If not, why do you ask it? If you would, why did you not take an anſwer when I gave it you; nor ſo much as mention it, as if you read it not, when you call for another? Is it becauſe that you remembred, that many that read your Papers, will never read mine, and ſo will not know what I have ſaid, nor how deceivingly you uſe them? It may be ſo: But will that do your work, and hold at laſt? If I repeat my anſwer, I ſhall offend my Readers, for writing the ſame thing twice, becauſe you take no notice of the firſt. But this much I will return you now: 1. My avoiding publick communion for fear of bringing more ſuffering on thoſe that ſcrupled it, (and that ſo many years together,) was a ſcandal and temptation to others, and tended to make them think, that I held it to be unlawful; as Peters Separation was a ſcandal to Barnabas and others: And do you think every man that avoideth ſcandalizing, is therefore proud: Are not humble men bound to avoid ſcandal as well as others? If a man by many years forbearing all publick Prayer or Sacrament, ſhould tempt others to think that he is againſt them, or accounts them needleſs, how ſhould he cure that ſcandal, but by doing that openly, and open pleading for it, which he is ſuppoſed to be againſt? Doth Paul make ſcandal to be the deſtroying of anothers ſoul, and a thing to be avoided on ſuch hard terms as he mentioneth, and do you think that the open avoiding it, is to be charged with Pride? How directly do you ſet your ſelf againſt the way of the Spirit of God?
2. I had for the ſame reaſon become a ſcandal alſo to our Governours, and to many ſober Conformable men, who were tempted by my omiſſion, to think the Non-conformiſts to be pieviſh Dividers, who follow Parties and Paſſion, more than their own Conſciences? And would any thing cure this ſcandal alſo, that had not been notified? Or is the ſcandal of ſo many ſuch perſons no evil to be avoided; nor their miſ-judging of the Non-conformiſts to be cured by ſuch as did occaſion it?
3. Is not every Miniſter of Chriſt a publick perſon? Should they not be the Lights of the world, that cannot and ſhould not be hid? Is every man Proud, that is not Mad? Whether my Actions be noted, is a matter of fact? The queſtion is not, whether I be ſo regardable, as to be worthy notice? but whether de facto any do note what I do? And do you doubt of it? Why then do you write two invectives to cure their eſteem of me? Do you not perceive here how your work contradicts your ſelf? And muſt I needs as my duty, be ſo mad, as not to know that any obſerve me, or regard what I do, for fear of being proud? You might as well make it a duty to go naked in the Streets, leſt I be proud if I think that any one will obſerve me. 4. And are not Miniſters bound to teach the people by Example, as well as by Doctrine? You dare not deny it. And is that example, which is unknown? Will you teach men to ſay againſt Gods command, I muſt not be ſo Proud as to think that my example will be obſerved or regarded? God ſaith, 1 Tim. 4. 12. Be thou an example of the believers in word, in converſation, in charity, in Spirit, in faith, in purity: Muſt none that think meanly of themſelves obey this? O but, you will reply, Is not this like Hypocrites, to do your actions to be ſeen of men? Chriſt will have us all to let our light ſo ſhine before men (not with the Hypocrite to get their applauſe to our ſelves, but for their own good and Gods glory) that they may ſee our good works, and glorifie our Father which is in Heaven. O but ſaith Mr. Bagſhaw, What other end can you have in doing this, but a vain-glorious hope, that doubting Chriſtians may look on your example as their Pole-ſtar, &c And indeed will ſuch a ſcorn of E. B. diſoblige all Chriſts Miniſters from obeying their Lord, and allow them to live in open ſcandal, for fear of thinking it lawful to be Exemplary?
5. Do you think indeed that you are not noted your ſelf? Do you neither in Life nor in your ſufferings, intend to be publickly exemplary? Do you not forbear the publick Aſſemblies, the rather that your example may move others? Thus ſtill a perverſe Spirit condemneth it ſelf.
6. If Doctrine and Example be the two means commanded, by which Miniſters muſt edifie the Church, is it not Pride as well to expect that our words ſhould be heeded, as our Examples? And could an Atheiſt deal more impudently and prophanely, than to tell all Miniſters, you are notoriouſly proud in expecting that all the Congregation ſhould take heed of what you ſay? Do you not preach or talk to your own auditors, and expect obſervation? What if another E. B. were among them and ſhould ſay, How proud are you to expect that we ſhould all regard your words, as if you were our Poleſtar? Theſe are not meet Leſſons for a ſufferer to teach the people.