The Right Method for a Settled Peace of Conscience, Direction 19
DIRECTION XIX.
19. Further underſtand, that Thoſe few who do attain to Aſſurance, have it not either perfectly or conſtantly (for the moſt part) but mixt with imperfection, and oft clouded and interrupted.
THat the higheſt Aſſurance on earth is imperfect, I have ſhewed you elſewhere. If we be imperfect, and our faith imperfect, and the knowledge of our own hearts imperfect, and all our evidences and graces imperfect; then our Aſſurance muſt needs be imperfect alſo. To dream of Perfection on earth, is to dream of Heaven on earth: And if Aſſurance may be here perfect, why not all our Graces? Even when all Doubtings are overcome, yet is Aſſurance farre ſhort of the higheſt degree.
Beſides that meaſure of Aſſurance which godly men do partake of, hath here its many ſad interruptions, in the moſt. Upon the prevalency of Temptations, and the hidings of Gods face, their ſouls are oft left in a ſtate of ſadneſs, that were but lately as in the arms of Chriſt. How fully might this be proved from the examples of Job, David, Jeremy and others in Scripture? and much more abundantly by the daily complaints and examples of the beſt of Gods people now living among us. As there is no perfect evenneſs to be expected in our obedience while we are on earth; ſo neither will there be any conſtant or perfect evenneſs in our comforts. He that hath life in one duty, is cold in the next: and therefore he that hath much joy in one duty, hath little in the next. Yea perhaps duty may but occaſion the renewall of his ſorrows; that the ſoul who before felt not its own burden, at a Sermon, or in Prayer, or holy Meditation, which were wont to revive him, now ſeems to feel his miſeries to be multiplied. The time was once with David, when the thoughts of God were ſweet to him, and he could ſay, In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my ſoul: And yet he ſaw the time alſo, When he remembred God and was troubled, he complained and his Spirit was overwhelmed: God ſo held his eyes waking, that he was troubled and could not ſpeak: he conſidered the daies of old, and the years of ancient time; he called to remembrance his ſong in the night, he communed with his own heart, and his ſpirit made diligent ſearch: Will the Lord, ſaith he, caſt off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promiſe fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gratious? hath he in anger ſhut up his tender mercy? Was not this a low ebb and a ſad caſe that David was in? Till at laſt he ſaw, This was his infirmity, Pſal. 77.1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Had David no former experiences to remind? no arguments of comfort to conſider of? Yes, but there is at ſuch a ſeaſon an incapacity to improve them: There is not only a want of comfort, but a kind of averſneſs from it: The ſoul bendeth it ſelf to break its own Peace, and to put away comfort farre from it. So ſaith he in verſ. 2. My ſoul refuſed to be comforted. In ſuch caſes, men are witty to argue themſelves into diſtreſs; that it is hard for one that would comfort them to anſwer them; and they are witty in refelling all the Arguments of comfort that you can offer them; ſo that it is hard to faſten any thing on them. They have a weak-wilfulneſs againſt their own Conſolations.
Seeing then that the beſt have ſuch ſtorms and ſad interruptions, do not you wonder or think your caſe ſtrange if it be ſo with you. Would you ſpeed better then the beſt? Long for Heaven then, where only is Joy without ſorrow, and everlaſting Reſt without interruption.