The Right Method for a Settled Peace of Conscience, Direction 17
DIRECTION XVII.
17. My next advice to you is this, For the ſtrengthening your apprehenſions of the Probability of your Salvation. Gather up and improve all your choiceſt Experiences of Gods good will and mercy to you: And obſerve alſo the Experiments of others in the ſame kind.
WE do God and our ſelves a great deal of wrong by forgetting, neglecting and not improving our Experiences. How doth God charge it on the Iſraelites, eſpecially in the wilderneſs, that they forgot the Works of God, by which he had ſo often manifeſted his Power and Goodneſs? Pſal. 78. & 107. ſee 105, 106. When God had by one Miracle ſilenced their unbelief, they had forgotten it in the next diſtreſs. It was a ſign the diſciples hearts were hardened when they forgot the Miracles of the loaves, and preſently after were diſtruſtfull and afraid, Mar. 6.52. God doth not give us his mercies only for the preſent uſe, but for the future: nor only for the body, but for the ſoul. I would this truth were well learned by Believers. You are in ſickneſs, in troubles, and dangers, and pinching ſtraits, in fears and anguiſh of minde: In this caſe you cry to God for help, and he doth in ſuch a manner deliver you, as ſilenceth your diſtruſt, and convinceth you of his love; at leaſt of his readineſs to do you good. What a wrong is it now to God and your ſelf to forget this preſently, and in the next temptation to receive no ſtrengthening by the conſideration of it? Doth God ſo much regard this dirty fleſh, that he ſhould do all this meerly for its eaſe and relief? No, he doth it to kill your unbelief, and convince you of his ſpecial Providence, his care of you, and love to you, and power to help you, and to breed in you more loving, honourable and thankfull thoughts of him: Loſe this benefit and you loſe all: You may thus uſe one and the ſame Mercy a hundred times. Though it be gone as to the body; it is ſtill freſh in a believing, thankfull, carefull ſoul. You may make as good uſe of it at your very death, as the firſt hour. But O the ſad forgetfulneſs, mutability and unbelief of theſe hearts of ours! What a number of theſe choice experiences do we all receive? When we forget one, God giveth another, and we forget that too: When unbelief doth blaſphemouſly ſuggeſt to us, Such a thing may come once or twice by chance. God addeth one experience to another, till it even ſhame us out of our unbelief, as Chriſt ſhamed Thomas, and we cry out, My Lord and My God. Hath it not been thus oft with you? Have not Mercies come ſo ſeaſonably, ſo unexpectedly, either by ſmall means, or the means themſelves unexpectedly raiſed up; without your deſigning or effecting; and plainly in anſwer to prayers, that they have brought conviction along with them? and you have ſeen the Name of God engraven on them? Sure it is ſo with us, when through our ſinfull negligence, we are hardly drawn to open our eyes, and ſee what God is doing. Much more might we have ſeen if we had but obſerved the workings of Providence for us. Eſpecially they that are in an afflicted ſtate, and have more ſenſible daily uſe for God, and are awakened to ſeek him, and regard his dealings. I know a Mercy to the body is no certain evidence of Gods Love to the ſoul. But yet from ſuch experiences a Chriſtian may have very ſtrong Probabilities. When we find God hearing Prayers, it is a hopefull ſign that we have ſome intereſt in him. We may ſay, as Manoahs wife ſaid to him, Judg. 13.23. If the Lord had meant to deſtroy us, he would not have received a ſacrifice at our hands, nor have done all this for us. To have God ſo near to us in all that we call upon him for, and ſo ready to relieve us; as if he could not deny an earneſt prayer, and could not endure to ſtop his ears againſt our cries and groans; theſe are hopefull ſignes that he meaneth us good. I know ſpecial Grace is the only Certain Evidence of ſpecial Love: But yet theſe kind of experiences are many times more effectual to refreſh a drooping doubting ſoul, then the ſureſt Evidences. For Evidences may be unſeen, and require a great deal of holy skill and diligence to try them, which few have: But theſe experiences are near us, even in our bodies, and ſhew themſelves: They make all our bones ſay, Lord who is like unto thee? And it is a great advantage to have the help of ſenſe it ſelf for our Conſolation. I hope you yet remember the choice particular Providences by which God hath manifeſted to you … Goodneſs, even from your youth till now: especially his frequent anſwering of your prayers! Methinks theſe ſhould do ſomething to the diſpelling of thoſe black diſtruſtfull thoughts of God. I could wiſh you would write them down, and oft review them. And when Temptations next come, remember with David, who helpt you againſt the Lion and the Bear, and therefore fear not the uncircumciſed Philiſtine.
2. And you may make great uſe alſo of the experiences of others. Is it not a great ſatisfaction to hear twenty or fourty or a hundred Chriſtians, of the godlieſt lives, to make the very ſame complaints as you do your ſel…? The very ſame complaints have I heard from as many. By this you may ſee your caſe is not ſingular, but the ordinary caſe of the tendereſt Conſciences; and of many that walk uprightly with God. And alſo, is it not a great help to you, to hear other Chriſtians tell how they have come into thoſe troubles; and how they have got out of them? what hurt them? and what helped them? and how God dealt with them while they lay under them? How deſirous are diſeaſed perſons to talk with others that have had the ſame diſeaſe? and to hea… them tell, how it took them, and how it … them, and ſpecially what cured them. Beſides, it will give you much ſtronger hopes of cure and recovery to peace of conſcience, when you hear of ſo many that have been cured of the ſame diſeaſe. Moreover, is it not a reviving thing, to hear Chriſtians open the Goodneſs of the Lord? and that in particulars, as upon experience they have found him to their own ſouls? To hear them tell you of ſuch notable diſcoveries of Gods ſpecial providence and care of his people, as may refell all Temptations to Atheiſm and unbelief? To hear them give you their frequent and full experiences of Gods hearing and anſwering their Prayers, and helping them in their diſtreſſes? Though the carnal part of the Mercy were only theirs, yet by improvement, the ſpiritual part may be yours. You may have your faith, and love, and joy confirmed by the experiences of David, Job, Paul, which are paſt ſo long ago; and by the experiences of all your Godly acquaintance, as if they were your own. This is the benefit of the unity of the Church: the bleſſings of one member of the body are bleſſings to the reſt; and if one Rejoyce the reſt may Rejoyce with them, not only for their ſakes, but alſo for their own. Such as God is to the reſt of his children, ſuch he is and will be to you. He is as ready to pity you as them; and to hear your complaints and moans as theirs. And leſt we ſhould think that none of them were ſo bad as we; he hath left us the examples of his mercies to worſe then ever we were. You never were guilty of witchcraft, and open Idolatry, as Manaſſes was, and that for a long time, and drawing the whole Nation, and chief part of the Viſible Church on earth, into Idolatry with him. You never had your hand in the blood of a Saint, and even of the firſt Martyr (Stephen) as Paul had: You never hunted after the blood of the Saints, and perſecuted them from City to City as he did: And yet God did not only forgive him, but was found of him when he never ſought him, yea when he was perſecuting him in his Members, and kicking againſt the pricks; yea and made him a choſen Veſſel to bear about his Name, and as noble an Inſtrument of the Propagation of his Goſpel, as if he had never been guilty of any ſuch crimes: that he might be an encouraging example to the unworthieſt ſinners, and in him might appear the riches of his Mercy, 1 Tim. 1.13, 16. ſee alſo Titus 3.3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Is there no ground of comfort in theſe examples of the Saints? The ſame we may ſay of the experiences of Gods people ſtill: And doubtleſs it were well if experimentall Chriſtians did more fully and frequently open to one another their experiences. It were the way to make private particular Mercies, to be more publike and common Mercies; and to give others a part in our bleſſings without any diminution of them to our ſelves. Not that I would have this ſo openly and raſhly done, (by thoſe who through their diſability to expreſs their mindes, do make the works and language of their Spirit ſeem ridiculous to carnal ears) as I perceive ſome in a very formality would have it, (as if it muſt be one of their Church cuſtoms, to ſatisfie the ſociety of the fitneſs of each member before they will receive them:) But I would have Chriſtians that are ſit to expreſs their minds, to do it in ſeaſon and with wiſdom: Eſpecially thoſe to whom God hath given any more eminent and notable experiments, which may be of publick uſe. Doubtleſs God hath loſt very much of the honour due to his Name, and poor Chriſtians much of the benefit which they might have received, (and may challenge by the mutual intereſt of fellow-members) for want of the publike communication of the extraordinary and more notable experiences of ſome men. Thoſe that write the lives of the holieſt men when they are dead, can give you but the outſide and carkaſs of their Memorials; The moſt obſervable paſſages are uſually ſecret, known only to God and their own ſouls; which none but themſelves are able to communicate. For my own part, I do ſoberly and ſeriouſly profeſs to you, that the experiences I have had of Gods ſpecial Providences, and Fatherly care, and ſpecially of his hearing prayers, have been ſo ſtrange and great and exceeding numerous, that they have done very much to the quieting of my ſpirit, and the perſwading my ſoul of Gods Love to me, and the ſilencing and ſhaming of my unbelieving heart, and eſpecially for the conquering of all temptations that lead to Atheiſm or Infidelity, to the denying of ſpecial Providence, or or the verity of the Goſpel, or of the Neceſſity of holy Prayer and worſhipping of God. Yea thoſe paſſages that in the bulk of the thing ſeem to have no great matter in them, yet have come at ſuch ſeaſons, in ſuch a manner, in evident anſwer to prayers, that they have done much to my confirmation. O happy Afflictions and Diſtreſſes! Sufferings and Danger force us to Pray, and force the cold and cuſtomary Petitioner to ſeriouſneſs and importunity. Importunate Prayers bring evident returns: ſuch returns give us ſenſible experiences: ſuch experiences raiſe faith, love, and thankfulneſs; kill unbelief and Atheiſm; and encourage the ſoul in all diſtreſſes, to go the ſame way as when it ſped ſo well. I often pity the poor ſeduced Infidels of this age that deny Scripture and Chriſt himſelf, and doubt of the uſefulneſs of Prayer and holy Worſhip; and I wiſh that they had but the experiences that I have had. O how much more might it do then all their Studies and Diſputes! Truly I have once or twice had motions in my mind to have publikely and freely communicated my experiences in a Relation of the more obſervable paſſages of my Life: But I found that I was not able to do it to Gods praiſe as was meet, without a ſhew of oſtentation and vanity, and therefore I forbore.