Penitent Confession and Vindication in Answer to a Book, Chapter 2

Penitent Confession and Vindication in Answer to a Book · Chapter 2

p. 4Chap. II.

Sect. 1. The Author's Profeſſion of his own Repentance.

§ 1. HE is unfit to profeſs himſelf to be called of God, to call others to Repentance, who is Impenitent himſelf. And what Man hath a louder Call to Repent from God and Man than I my Self? And ſhould I not be truly willing to know my Sin that I may Repent of it, and to confeſs it, bewail it, and forſake it when I know it; Conſcience would tell me that hereby I ſhould aggravate it, beyond all juſt excuſe. Alas, it hath not been ſo ſweet, ſo profitable, or friendly to me, that I ſhould take its part, or be loth to leave it. It hath been worſe to me every day of my Life, than all the Enemies that ever I had in the World: And ſince God taught me effectually to know what Sin is, and what God, and Chriſt, and Grace, and the Hope of Heaven is, and to know my Self, all the Sufferings that ever I have had from Men, from Malice, from Envy, from Perſecutors, from Slanderers, have been next to nothing to me, in compariſon of what in Soul and Body, I ſuffer daily for and by my Self and Sin.

§ 2. Therefore I humbly and earneſtly beg of that God that is the Hater of Sin and the Father of Lights, that he will not deny me that illuminating convincing Grace, which is needful to make me know the truth of my own Condition, nor that uprightneſs and tenderneſs of Heart, which is neceſſary to my true Humiliation, and that I may not forbear any true Confeſſion, which is neceſſary to my exerciſe of Repentance, and to my Forgiveneſs.

It is no time for me to deny or extenuate my Sin, when I am waiting daily in pain and languiſhing for my final Doom, at my approaching Change, when I ſhall quit this tranſitory World, and all its Vanities for ever. If I knew nothing (of dangerous and doubtful Conſequence) by my Self, yet am I not thereby juſtified: And how ſmall a matter ſhould it be to me, to be judged and acquit or praiſed by Men; when there is one that Judgeth me (by the final Sentence) even the Lord. The falſe applauſe and praiſe of Men (the miſerable Hypocrites reward) addeth no Joy to thoſe in Heaven, nor abateth the Miſery of thoſe in Hell. Whether they praiſe or diſpraiſe me, they are all Dying as well as I, and in that day their thoughts periſh: And who that ſeeth a Skull caſt up, doth much care what that Man thought of him while he was alive. p. 5Verily, every Man at his beſt Eſtate is altogether Vanity: Ceaſe therefore, O my Soul from Man.—

§ 3. But what! Muſt I, or may I therefore Repent of all that men of divers Minds call me to Repent of? How impoſſible is that? How fooliſh, and how wicked?

There are above Sixty Books written againſt me, in part or in the main ſcope: And I have written above a Hundred and twenty which muſt needs make work for many mens cenſure. And are all, or moſt Wiſe and Judicious that read and cenſure them?

I. The Sadduces cenſure me for aſſerting the Life to come, and the Reſurrection.

II. The Somatiſts cenſure me for the aſſerting of the Difference of Spirits from Bodies.

III. The Antitrinitarians cenſure me for ſhewing what Evidence of Trinity in Unity God hath imprinted on the whole frame of Nature and Morality.

IV. The Church-diſtracting Hereticators cenſure me, for taking the old Controverſies with the Neſtorians, Eutychians and Monothelites, to be capable of eaſier reconciliation, and gentler handling, than it hath found by ſuch fierce Dividers.

V. The Arrians and Socinians ſay I judge too hardly of them that deny the Godhead of Chriſt.

VI. The Arminians cenſure me for holding ſpecial Election and Differencing Grace.

VII. The hot Anti-Arminians cenſure me for holding any ſuch free Will and Univerſal Redemption, as Uſher, Davenant, Preston, and ſuch other knowing men have defended.

VIII. The Anabaptiſts call me to Repentance for Writing ſo much for Infants Baptiſm.

IX. The Antinomians deeply cenſure me as being againſt Chriſt and free Grace, and aſcribing too much to Man, to Faith, to Work and our own Righteouſneſs, and for detecting their Errours.

X. The Separatiſts call me to Repentance for ſeparating no further from the Conformiſts than they force us from them, and ſeparate themſelves from neceſſary Truth: And for perſwading men to Communion with the Pariſh Aſſemblies.

XI. The Conforming Separatiſts call me to Repentance for not ſeparating from all ſave themſelves, and for knowing and owning thoſe to be true Members of the Church of England, and faithful Servants of Chriſt, whom they eject.

XII. Clement Writer and the Seekers cenſure me, for aſſerting the certainty of Scripture Verity, as ſealed by the Spirit by Miracles and Sanctification; and for maintaining that there is yet continued a true Miniſtry and true Churches.

p. 6XIII. Mr. Liford and ſome others cenſure me for taking the Blaſphemy of the Holy Ghoſt, to be fixed Infidels judging Chriſts Miracles to be by the Devil.

XIV. Mr. Henry Dodwell cenſureth me for not taking the Office of Presbyters to be ſpecified or meaſured and varied by the Will of the Biſhop or Ordainer, and not determined by the Inſtitution of Chriſt; and for not denying the Presbyters and Biſhops of all the Reformed Churches to be really Miniſters, and their Churches true Churches) who have not an uninterrupted Succeſſion of Canonical Ordination by Dioceſans as from the days of the Apoſtles, and that they commit not the Sin againſt the Holy Ghoſt by adminiſtring Sacraments as being but Lay-Men; while he holdeth ſuch as the French to be true Miniſters.

XV. The Eraſtians cenſure me for vindicating the Power of the Keys and the neceſſity of Miniſterial Church Diſcipline.

XVI. The Independents blame me for being for a National Church; and ſome of them for being againſt their unneceſſary Covenanting terms of Communion, and their giving too much Power to popular Votes.

XVII. The Scots Presbyterians blame me for blaming the Impoſition of their Covenant; and for being ſo much for a ſuperior ſort of Biſhops or Archbiſhops.

XVIII. The Engliſh Dioceſan Enemies to Epiſcopacy, who are for ſetting up but one ſole Biſhop and Church, inſtead of a Thouſand, or many Hundred or many Score, do fiercely accuſe me, as if it were not they but I that am an Enemy to Epiſcopacy and the Church; for deſiring that Thouſands may not be ejected or kept out, and one only undertake in each Dioceſs an impoſſible task.

XIX. The factious Sectarian part of the Conformiſts, moſt fiercely and implacably accuſe me, for telling them (after many years patient ſilence) what are the Reaſons that I conform not to their impoſed Oaths, Covenants, Subſcriptions, Declanations and Practices: taking this for an Accuſation of thoſe that do, what I dare not do: And becauſe I give not over Preaching. And ſome of their Writers expect that I falſly accuſe my ſelf of a multitude of heinous Crimes, of which they by palpable lying accuſe me: As if Lying againſt my ſelf were an act of Repentance, and a means of Pardon, and were not a Sin as well as to bely another.

XX. The Magiſtrates and Judges who have oft Impriſoned me, and ſeized on all my Goods and Books, and driven me out of the County (with the Biſhop that forbad my Preaching) accuſe me for not ceaſing to Preach (when I have unanſwerably proved that ſo to do would be perſidious Sacriledge againſt my ordination Vow and Calling). And when I blamed the Herodians, Prieſts and Phariſees for ſeeking to deſtroy Chriſt, and forbidding his Apoſtles to Preach, they ſaid, I meant the Biſhops that Silenced ſuch as I, and for this ſent me to Priſon, with p. 7a Fine of Five hundred Marks: But from the Juſtices of the Seſſions I had the faireſt dealing: For when they kept me under many Hundred Pounds Bonds to the good Behaviour (that I might be at their will to take me up as ſoon as they could find any pretence for an Accuſation) they openly profeſſed that they did it not as a Penalty, and had nothing againſt me, but took me to be Innocent; but the Times being dangerous, they were to do it for Prevention (that is, By the order of Judge Jeffreys and the King.)

Now if you can tell me what Confeſſion and Repentance that muſt be, which muſt ſatisfie all theſe Accuſers, or elſe which of all theſe Parties it is that I muſt ſatisfie, and how I ſhall know that I ſhall not be guilty of a multitude of groſs Lyes, by the Confeſſions which they require and expect, you will perform a work which to me ſeemeth impoſſible.

Therefore all that I can do is, to ſearch my Heart and Life with a ſincere willingneſs to know the Truth, and to confeſs to God and Man, ſo much as I can find to be truly ſinful, as far as Men are concerned to know it.

XXI. The Italian and Spaniſh ſort of Papiſts yet deeplier accuſe me than moſt aforeſaid, for denying their pretended Vice-Chriſt, and confuting their Heretical and Schiſmatical Errors, and proving that by their Conciliar Religion, they profeſs open Hoſtility to Chriſtian Kings and Magiſtrates. One of them 1661. wrote me a Challenge to make this good (having ſaid ſomewhat of it in my Sermon to the Parliament) which I fully performed: But it hath ever ſince lain unprinted, for want of Licenſe from our Clergy, and Security from the Court.

XXII. The Engliſh Dioceſan ſort who are for an Univerſal or Foreign Eccleſiaſtical Juriſdiction, under the Name of General Councils, and a Collegium Paſtorum in the intervals governing per Literas format as, the Pope being Principium Unitatis, and Patriarch of the Weſt, are deep Accuſers of me for denying all ſuch Univerſal and Foreign Juriſdiction, as that which is worſe than the Italian ſort Popery, and would perjure this Land which is oft Sworn againſt it: And for taking the Principles urged by Grotius (after his Revolt) to be the French ſort of Popery, and for being againſt that Coalition with ſuch on theſe terms; which ſaid Foreign Juriſdiction is Pleaded for, by Archbiſhop Laud, Archbiſhop Bromhall, Biſhop Peter Guning, Biſhop Sparrow, Biſhop Sam. Parker, Dr. Heylin, Mr. Thorndike, Dr. Saywell, Dr. Beveridge, and worſe by ſome others: All which by their own expreſs words, with a full Confutation of their opinion, I have written ready for the Preſs, (and diſputed it at large three days with Biſhop Guning in the preſence of his choſen Witneſſes Dr. Saywell and Dr. Beveridge. But Dr. Iſaac Barrow againſt Thorndike hath irrefragably confuted all their Pretenſions, notwithſtanding Biſhop Parker's vain Contradiction.

p. 8XXIII. But the great load of the moſt Bloody Accuſations, is heapt up againſt me, by the exaſperated Clergy and Laity, for my calling them to Repentance for the Sins which I ſhall after mention; and they fetch moſt of their Charges from my Actions in the Wars, of which the multitude of Untruths in Matter of Fact which they virulently write and report, I had rather think come from the raſh belief of one another in their exaſperated Faction, than from the rupture of tumifying knownLying Malice and Rage.

But though this vented by Dr. Stillingfleett's nameleſs Second, in the Book called, The ſecond Part of the Miſchief of Separation, be that which Cantianus maketh my Charge, I think it not ſeaſonable here to deal with it, till I have firſt confeſt my real Faults.

SECTION 2.

THough I have more than once Publiſhed the Confeſſion of many of my youthful and later Sins, the renewed loud call of Accuſers and of Approaching Death, provoketh me to do it again, before I call others to Repentance.

And I will mention the Sins of my Childhood for a warning to Children to avoid the like: And becauſe the Seeds of following Sins are uſually then ſown.

I. Though from the firſt of my remembrance I liked Religious Goodneſs, and feared ſinning ſince my Father had talkt to me of God and Sin and the World to come, yet it was many Years before I was humbled for my Original Sin, or felt much of the need of a Saviour, or underſtood the Doctrine of the Scripture, but only delighted in the Hiſtorical part: And though my Conſcience troubled me for a Lie to ſcape Danger, it did not always keep me from it.

II. If the moſt pleaſing Sin be the greateſt, the Delight in feigned Hiſtories called Romances, was my great, becauſe my moſt delightful Sin.

III. Though my Appetite inclined only to the courſeſt and pooreſt Diet, yet therein I pleaſed it fooliſhly and ſinfully to the utter ruine of my Health: which I the rather mention to bid Parents look to their Childrens Health in the quality and quantity of their Food, as they love their Life and Comforts. My delightful Diet was ſo much in Apples, and Pears, and Plumbs, and Cheeſe that poſſeſt my Stomach early with an uncurable exceſſive Flatulency, and my Veins with remedileſs Obſtructions, and bred ſo long and violent a Cough, as that brought me into preſent danger of a Phthyſis: To Cure which (after three Years) taking exceſſively Garlick and flos Sulphuris, inclined me to ſuch a great long continued Bleeding, as exhauſted my Natural Heat▪ and Strength.

p. 9IV. Though we had great plenty of ſuch Fruit at Home, ſometime with a grudging Conſcience, I ventured over the Hedge to a Neighbours Fruit. A Sin that Auſtin himſelf confeſſeth.

V. I was in a School where one or two Lads corrupted many, by obſcene talk, and immodeſt actions: In which I did not ſufficiently diſown them or rebuke them▪ but oft too much countenanced them in it: As alſo in fighting and abuſing the weaker, though I was unable thereto my ſelf.

VI. Though I was bred under many meer Readers, and Tipling or Drunken Schoolmaſters and Curates, and ſcarcely heard a Sermon in a long time, till I was about Fourteen years of Age, or then and after none that I felt any profit by, I was not troubled at the loſs, nor at my ignorance and unprofitableneſs.

VII When it pleaſed God by reading ſome good Books, and by my danger of Sickneſs, about Fifteen years of Age to waken my Conſcience, I was not ſo obedient to that awakening Call as I ſhould have been: But was oft tempted to my old ſin of pleaſing my Appetite, and had almoſt been drawn away to a covetous love of Gaming at Cards: But God quickly check'd it by an unuſual Providence.

VIII. I was ſtrongly poſſeſt (I think by Pride joyned with a Love of Learning) to have ſetled at the Univerſity till I had attained ſome Eminency of Learning and Titles; but God in great Mercy by Sickneſs and other hinderances ſaved me from that danger, and loſs of time, and bred me up in a more humbling way, and gave me ſome little help of ſafe and pious Countrey Tutors.

IX. Weakneſs keeping me in expectation of Death, and God then having given me a greater ſence of Mans Everlaſting ſtate, and of the differences between Faith and Hypocriſie, Holineſs and a worldly ſtate, I thirſted to win others to the ſame ſenſe and ſtate; and to that End offered my ſelf to Ordination when I was too low for ſo high a Work, both in Learning, and in a methodical knowledge of Theology. And though I was naturally inclined to Logical and Metaphyſical Accurateneſs and method, I was too ignorant in Languages and Mathematicks, and divers parts of Knowledge; had I not been a continual Learner (by Books) while I was a Teacher, I had been a diſhonour to the Sacred Office and Work, and do repent that I made ſuch haſte.

X. I too raſhly in this Ignorance took the Judgment of the Countrey Miniſters that had been my Helpers, and told me of the Lawfulneſs of Conformity, and believed the Books for Conformity which they perſwaded me to read, for the Engliſh frame of Government and Subſcriptions, before I had read impartially what was againſt it, or heard any ſpeak on the other ſide, or had well ſtudied the caſe: And ſo I ſubſcribed ſinfully becauſe temerariouſly: And though I was ſo raſh that I cannot ſay, that I am ſure that I took the Oath of Canonical Obedience p. 10(it is ſo long ſince) yet I think I did, becauſe elſe I had not been Ordained. Of this I repent, and beg forgiveneſs for the Merits of Chriſt. (Though I had never been like to have been a Miniſter without it, but had turned to ſome other Calling.)

XI. Though I know not that ever I broke the Oath of Canonical Obedience▪ or ever diſobeyed my Ordinary, yet I changed my Judgment, of the Canons, of which I cannot repent: While I lived a year as a Schoolmaſter my Ordinary commanded me nothing which I diſobeyed: When I removed to a Priviledged place (Bridgnorth) I was only a Lecturer, and my Ordinary commanded me nothing which I did not: I did read moſt of the Liturgy, and kneel at the Sacrament: And my Ordinary himſelf Baptized without Croſſing, and never commanded me to uſe it, or the Surplice. VVhen I came to Kidderminster Biſhop Thornbury died, and Biſhop Prideaux never gave me any Command or Prohibition, I being a meer Lecturer that never had Preſentation, and the Vicar uſing the Liturgy and Ceremonies. But yet I repent …at I did think worſe of that ſort of Dioceſane Government, which puts not down the Parochial Paſtors and Churches than I now do, and theſe Forty years have done: For I think that a General Epiſcopacy over many Churches and Biſhops, is Jure Divino an Order ſucceeding Apoſtles and Evangeliſts in that part of their Office which as Ordinary muſt continue.

But I repent not that I renounced that ſort of Dioceſanes who put or keep down all the Parochial Paſtors or Biſhops, and Churches, making them but as Chappels, Parts of a Dioceſs as the loweſt Church, and taking on them the ſole Epiſcopacy of many ſcore or hundred Churches. Nor do I repent of my unanſwered Treatiſe of Epiſcopacy written againſt this ſort.

XII. Though I ever diſliked the Cenſorious and Separating Spirit, that run into Extreams againſt Conformity, yet I Repent that I did no more ſharply reprove it: But becauſe almoſt all the people where I came to preach that were not meer VVorldlings, but ſeemed to be ſeriouſly Religious, were either againſt Conformity, or wiſh'd it removed for the Diviſions which it cauſed, I overmuch valued their Eſteem and Love, becauſe I loved their ſerious piety; and having ſometimes (but very ſeldom) ſpoken againſt the Corruptions of the Church Government, ſpecially the Silencing of Ministers▪ I can ſcarce tell to this day, whether I did well or ill; more good by telling Men what to lament and pray againſt, or more hurt by heartening thoſe that were apt overmuch to Cenſure Government and the Orders of the Church. But I beg God to forgive what was amiſs.

XIII. Though I deſired ſuch a frame of Epiſcopal Government as Sir Edward Deering offered, or as ſince Archbiſhop Uſher hath deſcribed as Primitive, yet out of the ſenſe of the evil that Silencers and Perſecutors p. 11had done, I too much rejoiced when the Tidings came that the Prelacy was Voted down, not knowing then what would be ſet up, nor well what to deſire: For neither Presbytery nor Independency had been then debated, or were well underſtood.

XIV. VVhen I heard of the Scots Covenanting and Arming, and entering England, though I had not ſo much knowledge of their Cauſe, as ſhould be a juſt ſatisfaction in ſo great a matter, yet I was in Heart glad of it, for the appearance that it ſhewed, of enabling the Lords and Commons of England, to appear more boldly to plead for their Liberties and Laws. But I now think that a Suſpenſion of my thoughts, as wanting Evidence, had been better.

XV. VVhen I heard of the tumultuous manner of the Apprentices in London, petitioning againſt Biſhops, I diſliked it, and the means that encouraged them, and the publick reproach that was caſt by the Rabble on thoſe called Straffordians (ſuch learned men as the Lord Faulkland▪ Lord Digby, &c.) yea, and the urging the King ſo much for his Execution: But I too much ſilenced my diſlike.

XVI. VVhen I ſaw Mr. Burton's Protestation Protested, and the forwardneſs of many Religious unlearned Perſons, to run toward Extreams againſt Liturgies and Forms, and their kindneſs to the Principles of Separation▪ I greatly diſliked it and contradicted them, and concurred in judgment with Excellent John Ball▪ who foreſaw the danger and betimes wrote againſt it. But I oppoſed it with far leſs Zeal than I had done, if I had then foreſeen what followed.

XVII. VVhen the News came of the Iriſh Inſurrection and Murdering 200000 it poſſeſt us with ſuch a pannick fear of them and other Papiſts as ſcarce left our Judgments free to calm deliberate determination: But we could ſcarce ſleep for fear of ſudden aſſaults, when calm reaſon might have told us, that the danger could not be ſo ſudden and near.

XVIII. VVhen there appeared a probability of a Civil VVar, I read the Obſervator **Said to be one Parker a Lawyer., and ſome ſuch others, that made the King to be ſingulis Major at Univerſis Minor; and I did not for ſome weeks at leaſt diſcern the Error of that Aſſertion, as I ſhortly after did; and when I found Ri. Hooker lib. 1. going as far, and making Legiſlation to be the proper work of the whole Body, and Biſhop Bilſon telling us in how many caſes the King might by Arms be reſiſted, and Grotius de Jure Belli, and W. Barkley enumerates many, and ſpeaking yet higher, I was much the more quieted in receiving ſome ſuch Principles. But conſideration ſoon taught me to ſay that the people had the Meliority, but not the Majority; that is, They were to be preferred to the King in genere Cauſae finalis▪ but not in point of Governing Authority: And ſo I forſook Hooker's Politicks▪ but not Bilſon's, Jewel's, Grotius's &c. But I repent of that Error, though it was but ſhort.

p. 12XIX. No Town in Worcester-ſhire was ſo famous for Pageants, and pompous Shews and Revels, and Debauchery at ſuch times as Kidderminster: And at the times of thoſe Revels, the Drunkards raged in malignant fury againſt the Religious party: But by Gods great Mercy the Religious party there were of ſo loving, meek and harmleſs a Temper, inclined humbly to ſtoop to the meaneſt, and to do good to all, that there was no one ſingle perſon that the Rabble had any thing againſt, but only in general, that they uſed to repeat Sermons, ſing Pſalms, and pray, and not be Drunk nor Swear. But the Parliament (before the King parted from them) ſent an Order to be publiſhed by the Miniſters for the defacing of all Images of any of the Trinity in Church Windows, or in Chruch-yards: And for publiſhing this Order the Drunken Rabble (animated by the probability of the approaching War) roſe up againſt me, and ſought in a Tumult with Clubs to kill the Church-Warden and me, (before the Order was Executed) whereupon (and upon an Accuſation to the Seſſions, the Articles of which I could never ſee or hear, or know,) I was forced for a Month to fly to Gloceſter; where I preached ſo much for Reformation, (in my ſence of the common malignant rage of the Rabble) as I have oft ſince feared was too keen, and I ſince wiſh'd that I had rather at ſuch a time of dangerous Diviſion, preached more for peace, and to abate exaſperations, than to provoke them, though by truth.

XX. I had not been long at home after my return, but the War began in that Countrey, by the Kings and Parliaments contending for the Militia; and quickly after the firſt Soldiers that ever I ſaw raiſed, was a Troop from Herefordſhire raiſed by Sir W. Crofts, under his Brother James, Dr. Herbert Crofts the other Brother (now Biſhop of Hereford) being Chaplain, and the Dr. deſiring my Pulpit, I heard him Preach an Eloquent Sermon againſt the Parliament, as Enemies to the King and Peace: And Sir William Crofts and Sir Francis Netherſoke a little before meeting there for Conſultation, Sir Francis ſpoke to me to avoid all War againſt the King, (ſeeming himſelf to be againſt the War on both ſides,) telling me by his obſervations in the Palatinate Wars how little they that begin fore-know of the end: I had no thoughts of medling with War, and ſo only gave him the hearing. but I have oft ſince repented that I had not drawn out more of his Reaſons, to have help'd my Judgment to a Reſolution; eſpecially ſince I read (in Dr. W. Bates's Vitae virorum illuſtrium) his words in his Laudatio fenebris of Prince Henry's Death, when he was Orator of Cambridge; in which he ſeemeth to have been Prophetical, as England felt by ſad Experience: I will tranſcribe part of his Propheſie, Page 412.

Nec illa modo vulnera jam olim obducta, bujus letho recruduerunt, ſed alia etiam quae nec dum ſentimus, & majora nobis inflicta ſunt. Ah, ne hoc FUNUS MILLE PRODUCAT FUNERA! Nec ſit dies ille cum p. 13intempeſtivum hujus Principis fatum, acerbiore luctu quàm hodierno deflebimus, caeciſ que in malis deprenſi Principem Henricum, magna voce Principem Henricum nequicquam clamabimus! Inanis forte eſt his metus, Academici, & ſi meaecum veſtris quid valeant preces, inanis erit. Utinam etiam & ſtultus eſſet. Vivit quidem Priamus, & diu vivat & diu precor. Firma ſiet ejus domus, nec unquam nutet: Poſt ſatum tamen Hectoris, ejuſ que ſupremum diem cui decem annos ſpes noſtrae innixae ſunt, Trojae timere, cum nolim, reluctante licet animo, invitus cogor.] Read the reſt; who would think but that he foreſaw King Charles Reign, and our calamitous Wars in the Death of Prince Henry?

XXI. The Declarations, and Trumpets that proclaimed the Wars, ſo enraged the Rabble of Drunkards and Haters of Piety, that the moſt peaceable Religious Men that did but Pray and ſing Pſalms, and repeat the publick Sermons, were forced to fly and ſave their Lives and Goods from their own Neighbours, and the Kings Militia: If a Man had ſhort Hair, and were ſuſpected to be a Puritane (as ſuch were called) the Rabble would cry, [Down with the Roundheads,] and he was in preſent danger. In this ſtate of Affairs, I went to Worcester for ſafety when the Earl of Eſſex's Army was there, and for curioſity, going to ſee thoſe that lay at Poike-bridge, was a witneſs of the flight of the Parliaments Soldiers at Wikefield. But I repented quickly of that curioſity, and going out of my proper way.

XXII. When the firſt great fight was at Edgehill, I was at Allceſter, and for curioſity went with Mr. Sam. Clerke the day after the fight, to ſee the place, and the Relicts of the unburied ſlain. But I had no call to ſo ſad a ſight.

XXIII. To return home I could not with ſafety of my life: To maintain my ſelf one Week I had not Money enough with me, nor elſewhere. In this ſtrait I went to Coventree, and obtruded my ſelf on Mr. King one of the Miniſters, and my old Acquaintance, not paying him a Groat for a Months Diet or more: And at the Months end, the Committee of Coventree invited me to take my Diet and Lodging at the Governours Houſe (Col. John Barker) where I was offered to be Chaplain to the Garriſon Regiment, which I refuſed, but undertook to preach once a Week to the Soldiers, but without pay. In which place God ſhewed me for about two years ſo great Mercy as I can never be ſufficiently thankful for: In a quiet, and ſafe Habitation in the midſt of a Kingdom, torn by War, and in pious converſe with a great number of Excellent Learned Miniſters, that retired thither for ſafety from the rage of Soldiers; and the Company of as pious underſtanding Gentlemen of the Committee as I knew living (Sir Rich. Sheffington, Mr. George Abbot, Godfrey Boſſevile, and many more) But becauſe it was here that I declared my ſelf for the Parliament, I am here put to open the Caſe as it ſtood with me, in order to my requeſt p. 14to them that think I ſinned, yet better to help me by their Counſel and Prayers, that God would convince me if I erred, and pardon my known and unknown Sin.

SECTION 3.

1. I Did and do believe that the Legiſlative Power is the chief Flower of the ſumma potestas, or true Soveraignty: In this Biſhop Morley himſelf fully confirmeth me.

2. I did believe that the Legiſlative Power was by the Constitution of this Kingdom, in the King and Parliament, and not in the King alone This I believed becauſe the words of the Laws ſay that they are made by the Conſent and Authority of the Parliament; And the King granted it in his Anſwer to the 19 Propoſitions (in ſence.) And not only Hooker and Bilſon, but all the old Biſhops and the old Parliaments, Judges and Lawyers commonly held it: And I was not wiſer in Law than all they I know few but Biſhop Morley that deny that the Parliament have part in the power of Legiſlation: And even he granteth that they are Authors of the matter, to which the King puts the form: And ſo he makes the Controverſie like that of Aristotle and Galen, about Generation, whether the form be only à ſemine ma…is vel utriuſ que : As if the very Matter cum diſpoſitione receptiva were not an Eſſential conſtitutive part.

But now King and Parliament have by a Law of the Rights and Liberties of the Subjects, determined the Caſe.

3. I did and do believe that it is commonly agreed that Parliaments have five Eminent Relations. 1. They are part of the I egiſlative power ☞by the Conſtitution of the Kingdoms. 2. They are the Kings Supream Council. 3. They are the Kings Supream Court of Judicature (by the Lords.) 4. They Repreſent the Nation as ſubject to the King. 5. They are the Nations Repreſentatives ſo far as they are Free: For had they not Liberties and Properties they were meer Slaves.

1. As Subjects they are to obey. 2. As Supream Council they are to be the chief Adviſers. 3. As the Supream Court, the King is finally to exerciſe Judicature by them. 4. As they repreſent the people as far as they are Freemen and not Slaves, they are to ſecure their reſerved and natural Liberties and Properties (in their Lives, Limbs, Wives, Children and Acquiſitions,) which are not to be taken from them. but by Conſent or Forſeiture. 5. Their Legiſlative power they have not (as Hooker and many others think by Nature, but by that Fundamental Contract which made the form of Government: For though Government be of God in the Genus, and as empowered and obliged primarily to promote obedience to Gods own Laws; yet it is of Man by Contract, that the Perſons or Families, or Number and Order of Rulers be conſtituted, and reſtraint put on the Invaſion of Propriety.

p. 154. I did and do believe Grotius, Lawſon, and other Writers of Politicks, who agree, that the bare Title of Supream given to a King, is no proof that the whole Soveraignty (ſumma poteſtas) or Legiſlation in particular, is in him alone, and not at all in the Senate or Parliament; for it is for Unity ſake, Honourary, not excluding, but implying the Parliaments part, and alſo that he is to exerciſe his Judicatures by the Legal way of his Courts, Judges and Magiſtrates.

5. I did and do believe that the King is ſingulis & univerſis ſubditis major quoad Fus regendi: and that the people quâ talis have no power of publick Government, but that he is not Univerſis melior: And that meliority maketh the final Cauſe: And that ſalus populi, or bonum publicum is the Eſſentiating End or terminus of Humane Government: And it is no Government (ſave equivocally) which is deſtructive of this End.

6. I believe that the ſame God that Inſtituted Political Government, did alſo make, 1. Self-Government. 2. Paternal Government. 3. Marital Government. 4. And Paſtoral Church Government: And that no King hath any Right to null any of theſe, or alter them in Eſſentials or Integrals; but only to over rule them.

7. I believe that all Power is of God, and no King hath any but what God hath given him: And that God hath given none againſt himſelf, or any of his own Laws: And all Laws are nullities that are againſt them. And are not Acts of Authority but Uſurpation, (as Hooker ſaith.)

8. But yet he that acteth in one thing without and againſt Authority, is to be obeyed in other things where he hath Authority, and not reſiſted by Arms in every Uſurpation, yea the Honour of his Office and true Power is to be preſerved, while we refuſe obedience to his ſinful Uſurpation.

9. Grotius and common reaſon convinced me that where the ſumma poteſtas is in King and Senate, each part hath right to defend its own true Part therein: It can be no part in Soveraignty which is meerly at the Will and Mercy of the other part.

10. I did and do believe that the Conſtitution fixing the chief power in King and Parliament united as one Politick Perſon; it ſuppoſeth that they muſt not be divided: And that neither part hath power againſt the other as ſuch: (The King hath power over them as Subjects, but not as Legiſlators or exempted Proprietors.) So that ſeparating them by fixed oppoſition is diſſolving the Conſtitution: As ſeparating Soul and Body, Husband and Wife, diſſolve Man and Matrimony.

11. Therefore I did and do believe that neither King nor Parliament had any right, to raiſe an Offenſive War againſt each other! None but unavoidably defenſive could be lawful. Therefore the firſt aſſailant was the culpable beginner.

12. I did believe that neither the King nor the Parliament as ſuch are p. 16queſtionable by Law, having no ſuperior Judicature to try them. And that the perſon of the King is inviolable, there being no Power or Law to puniſh him, and therefore the Law ſaith, The King can do no wrong, but it layeth all the blame on the Subjects, who are reſponſible for their actions.

13. I did and do believe that as every Man hath a power of private Self-defence againſt a Murderer or Thief, ſo every Kingdom hath a power or right of publick Self-defence, againſt Forreign or Home bred Enemies.

14. But I believe that this power belongeth not to a wronged or perſecuted party, but only to the Body of the Kingdom: Becauſe their good is not the bonum publicum, and a Civil War would do more hurt than their death or ruin. Nor may a Kingdom defend all its Rights, or revenge all its injuries by a Civil War, which will do more hurt than their wrongs: But where the deſtruction of the Kingdom is apparently endeavoured, or the change of their Conſtitution, or a hurt greater than a Civil War, a Self-defence is lawful and neceſſary.

15. I believe Grotius and all Politicks, that Regere & perdere rempublicam are inconſiſtent, and that whoever declareth his purpoſe to deſtroy the Kingdom, can be no King of it: For the terminus is eſſential to his relation. If it be Murder not to defend the Life of a Brother againſt the aſſault of a Murdering Robber, it is far worſe not to do our Duty to ſave a Kingdom againſt publick Murderers, and Deſtroyers.

16. If a King profeſs himſelf a Papiſt according to the true definition, he taketh Approved General Councils for the Rule of his Religion: And the Laterane Council ſub Innoc. 3. bindeth all Temporal Lords on pain of Excommunication, and Depoſition to exterminate all that deny Tranſubſtantiation and others called Hereticks from their Dominions, if they are able; and other Counſels and Popes have the like. And it muſt be ſuppoſed that he that profeſſeth himſelf ſo bound in Conſcience, is reſolved as ſoon as he can to do it. And he that impoſeth on them a falſe Religion, and faith, Turn or Die, profeſſeth to deſtroy or damn them. Yet may he be endured if he diſclaim ſuch Councils, or promiſe Liberty, till Evidence of perilous attempts nullifie that promiſe: But if he put the Nation under the power of Souldiers Judges, Magiſtrates of the ſame profeſſion, it muſt be ſuppoſed that he cannot ſave the Kingdom from them, or that all they will be neglecters of their own Religion: Or if he put himſelf into the power of an Army of that Religion, he puts the Nation into their power, though he were a Proteſtant himſelf: For he is utterly unable to reſiſt their power when Religion engageth their deluded Conſciences to deſtroy us: And though cauſleſs fears will not warrant defenſive Arms, rational well-grounded fears will: For when Men are dead it is too late.

p. 1717. But it followeth not that therefore a Papiſt may be reſiſted in France, Spain, Portugal, or any Papiſt Kingdom; nor yet a Heathen by perſecuted Chriſtians, as in the Roman Empire. Becauſe their Religion bindeth none of theſe to exterminate or deſtroy their own Kingdoms, as being of the ſame Religion as themſelves. And the Chriſtians then, and Proteſtants there now are not the Kingdom, but a Party: Therefore King and Parliament have here newly enacted for the ſetling of this Crown, that no Papiſt may be here King or Regent Queen: For though (as in the Pond Judge Hale tells us) two Pikes devoured all the other great ſtore of Fiſh, and ſurvived only themſelves) God never authorized one Man to damn or murder a whole Kingdom.

18. The Intereſt of the King (his Honour, Safety and Power) and the Intereſt of the People (their common ſafety and welfare) are diſtinct, but muſt not be oppoſite. The King is for the Kingdom finaliter under God's Glory, though the People are as Subjects to obey the King, it is to that end, the common good.

19. In application, I did believe that both King and Parliament ſinfully began and managed this War. For if either or both were wronged, ſo much was by them to be endured, as was not worſe than a Civil War. I believe that the Parliament did very ill, in being emboldened by the Scots Army to provoke the King beyond the degree of meer neceſſity. And that it was ill done of thoſe that ſecretly or openly encouraged the Apprentices tumultuous way of Petitioning, to move any Parliament Men from following their Judgments; and in permitting the groſs Scorns and Abuſe of the Biſhops and Liturgy. And I believe that after they did yet worſe, in taking and impoſing the Scots Covenant to procure their help.

20. I did and do believe that yet they did but their Duty, in ſeeking to redreſs the dangerous Abuſes of Miniſterial Governours, and bringing the Inſtruments by Legal tryal to Puniſhment: For what purpoſe elſe are they a Judicature? Subjects are all under the Law. And the common Judges are Sworn to do Juſtice, though the King's Seal ſhould be ſent to Prohibit them.

21. I did believe that the King did ill to forſake them, and on pretence of the Tumults to gather an Army in Yorkshire, Nottingham and Shrewsbury, and that whoſe Commiſſions ſoever were firſt dated, his Armed Collection of Men was firſt raiſed: But yet that the beginning was by ſuch degrees of mutual Provocation, that to this day it is hard to ſay, who began.

22. I had read the King's Letter in Spain to the Pope, promiſing to venture Crown and Life for the Union of the Chriſtian Churches, including the Roman: which is recorded in Mr. Cheſne the King of France his Geographer, and in Prin and Ruſhworth. And whether it be true or not that the Scots ſay in a Book called Truths Manifeſt, that K. Charles p. 18then in Scotland had poſſeſſion of their Broad Seal, and put that Seal to a Commiſſion for the Iriſh Inſurrection, I am paſt doubt that K. Ch. II. granted a Commiſſion to Monk, Mancheſter and others, to try the Marquis of Antrim's Plea, by which it was proved and determined that he had the K. Ch. I's Commiſſion. Though I believe that the King that cauſed them to riſe, allowed them not to Murder all the Proteſtants: Put whom elſe were they to riſe againſt but the Proteſtants? And muſt they riſe againſt them and not kill them? And was not the Murderous temper and uſe of the Iriſh well known?

23. I know that the Iriſh a year before Edgehill Fight, on that day Oct. 23. 1641. were to have ſurprized Dublin: And by the full Account of Dr. Henry Jones ſince Biſhop, and Sir John Temple, and the Earl of Orery, Murdered Two hundred Thouſand, and boaſted that they did it by the King's Commiſſion: and that when they had done there, they would come hither. Though I believed them not, I knew that Two hundred Thouſand men dead are paſt Pleading their own Cauſe or defending their Country: It is eaſie to Plead the juſtneſs of their Cauſe againſt dead Men that cannot contradict them. Solitudinem faciunt, & Pacem vocant. There is no reſiſting Murderers in the Grave: And I thought that if the King put in Arms and Power, the Engliſh Papiſts of the ſame Religion, bound to deſtroy us, his own good meaning could not preſerve himſelf or us. And I knew that the King ſtopt the Carriage-Horſes that were ſent by the Parliament to relieve Ireland, and took them for his own Service, and many ways delayed their Relief. Though he offered to go over himſelf, the Parliament fearing he would go to Head the Iriſh.

24. The King had before aſſaulted the Parliament-Houſe in Perſon, with Armed Men, to have ſurprized Five Members and the Lord Kimbolton whom he accuſed: And after fruſtration confeſt it a Breach of their Privileges.

25. The Money ſent Dolbier to buy German Horſes, and other actions, and the Confeſſions of Sir Jacob Aſtley, Sir John Conniers, Sir Fulke Haukes (my Mother-in-laws Brother) Chidley, and the other Commanders of the Engliſh Army that were to have been drawn up to London, together with the King's putting a Guarding Regiment on them, did put me paſt all doubt that they were devoted to violence, had they not defended themſelves: And no vain Talk to the contrary can make me doubt of it to this day. So that though I think they had done more prudently to avoid War, had they ſpared Strafford and Laud to pleaſe the King, yet I am fully ſatisfied that afterward they were neceſſitated to ſave themſelves from deſigned Force.

26. I am certain that two things filled the Parliaments Armies. And both of grand Importance. 1. That all over the Kingdom, ſave here and there a ſober Gentleman, and a formal Clergyman, the Religious p. 19Party and all that loved them, were generally for the Parliament (alienated from the Perſecutors and Silencers): And the Profane Party in all Countries (Debaucht Gentlemen, Malignant Haters of Piety, the Rabble of Drunkards, Blaſphemers) were generally againſt the Parliament. And religious People were loth to herd with ſuch: And could hardly believe that in ſo great a Cauſe God would reveal the Truth to all his Enemies, the ſenſual Rabble, and hide it from the generality of them that fear him: And eſpecially that in moſt Countries the Malignants forced away the Religious, and either roſe againſt them themſelves, or ſet the King's Soldiers to Plunder and Deſtroy them. My own Father living 18 Miles from me was Plundered by the King's Soldiers, though he never ſcrupled Conformity, nor ever medled againſt the King, and was thrice laid in Priſon, and had ſtill lain there, had not Sir Fulke Haukes his Brother in Law been by Prince Rupert made Governour of Shrewsbury, and this for nothing. And after laid in again till the Town was taken. This laſt was only becauſe when they made him Collector for the King, he refuſed to diſtrein of thoſe that paid not (fearing leſt he ſhould be put to repay it).

And almoſt all the Religious People of Kederminſter were forced to fly and leave their Houſes and Trades to their undoing, to ſave their Lives, though they had never medled with Wars. And the men that had no maintenance of their own, were forced to become Gariſon-Soldiers in Coventry, to avoid Famine.

The ſecond thing, and the main that drove men to the Parliament Gariſons and Armies, was the Iriſh Murders, with the Papiſts Power with the King: They thought that it muſt be an unuſual War, that ſhould Kill Two hundred Thouſand: As dreadful as it was, I do believe that all the Wars of England Kill'd not Fifty thouſand, nor near it. And though Fear which is a Tyrant, overcame partly their Diſcretion, yet this joyned with the Experience of that which forced them from home, was too ſtrong a tryal for moſt to overcome.

And it confirmed their Suſpition when the Queen brought in a Popiſh Army under General King, and the Earl of Newcaſtle's Army had ſo great a number of Papiſts, and after the Earl of Glamorgan was authorized to have brought over an Army of Iriſh Papiſts, and the Engliſh Regiments that fought there againſt them, had been called hither to fight againſt the Parliament, and were routed at Nantwich.

No wonder if men thought that England would have been made too like to Ireland whether the King would or not, had ſuch Armies Conquered.

27. The Parliament Proteſted to be for the King, and not againſt his Perſon, or Legal Power or Prerogative, but only againſt his Illegal Will, to defend themſelves and the Kingdom, from an unlawful Army, and to bring Delinquents to Legal Tryal and Puniſhment: And they accordingly p. 20gave out all their Commiſſions; till the Cauſe was changed by fairfax's Commiſſion, that left out the King. And the Soldiers of the Gariſon where I was, commonly believed this to be their Obligation, and the true Caſe of the War, viz. Offenſive againſt armed Delinquents as the Sheriff may raiſe the Poſſe Comitatus), and Defenſive againſt the Kings illegal Will, and Way.

28. I did believe that if the King by ſuch an Army as he had, ſhould Conquer the Parliament, the Legal and all Probable Security of the Nation, for Life Property, Liberty and Religion, was in all likelihood gone; If it ſhould lye on the King's Will only, thereby it were gone: For what then were our Conſtitution, or Parliaments for; and what differ we from Slaves? And were he willing (and thoſe with him that meant well) he would not be able to Maſter ſuch an Army.

29. I did believe that if the Parliament were certainly more faulty than they were, the Kingdoms Security was not therefore to be forſaken by the Subjects; nor all Parliaments and Government to be left to the Will of the King, who had for ſo many years interrupted Parliaments, and diſſolved them ſtill in Diſpleaſure, and had raiſed Taxes called Ship-money by himſelf without them, and on the ſame account might command all the reſt: Therefore I owned not any of the diſcerned Miſcarriages of the Parliament, but only thought I was bound to defend the common Good and Safety, as it was the End of Government. My judgment yet is, That if the King of England wrongfully begin a War againſt France, the Subjects ought by Arms to help him, not owning his wrong Cauſe, but to ſave the Kingdom, which would be loſt and enſlaved if he were Conquered. So the fault of the Parliament could not diſoblige the People from labouring to ſecure the Conſtitution of the Kingdom, and therein their Poſterities, Properties, Liberties and Safety. And the bare Promiſe of a King is no ſuch Security.

30. I did believe that if there were a Controverſie in theſe Caſes, the Supream Council and Judicature of the Kingdom, had the moſt ſatisfying Power of Determination to particular Perſons: As the Judgment of a General Council is preferable to any lower Judges, and the Judgment of the College of Phyſicions is more authoritative than of a ſingle Dr. And the Judgment of the Univerſity is more than of the ViceChancellors or one Man. And tho yet it may fall out that the Diſſenter may be in the right, the unlearned that cannot confidently judge, are more excuſeable for not reſiſting the higher Judges.

31. Obj. By this Rule, whatever wrong a Parliament ſhall do to the King, we muſt all take their part againſt him: And if they betray their Truſt, we muſt bear them out in their Treachery.

Anſ. 1. Diſtinguiſh between a wrong to the King, and the betraying of the Bonum Publicum, the common Safety and the Conſtitution.

p. 212. And between a Caſe controvertible, and a Caſe clear and certain. And ſo I anſwer, 1. If a Parliament wrong the King, we muſt not joyn with them in wronging him; nor own their wrong; nor defend the Perſons from legal Juſtice. He might have diſſolved them and called another, had he not paſt a Law to the contrary. He may Impeach any Members at their own Bar: But at what Judicature ſhall he try the higheſt Judicature it ſelf.

2. And if the Repreſentative would treacherouſly deſtroy the Conſtitution, and yield to enſlave them, or to give up the Kingdom to the Pope or any Foreign Power, the Caſe being paſt Controverſie, the People have not thereby loſt the natural Power of Self-defence: But may as lawfully chooſe more truſty Repreſentatives, and fight for Self defence againſt ſuch Traitors, as againſt a Tyrant.

3. But the ſpecies of the Conſtitution, (in King and Parliament) muſt ſtill be maintained, and the Salus Populi without reſpect to which there is no Government. And no perſonal Faults can forfeit that.

32. Therefore I ever thought, as it was a diſſolution of the Conſtitution for the King to put down Parliaments, and pretend (as Biſhop Morley blindly pleadeth) to the ſole Power of Legiſlation; ſo it is Treaſon for a Parliament to put down Monarchy, and to aſſume the ſole Legiſlative Power; As the Rump did when they pretended to ſettle a Government without a King or Houſe of Lords.

If either King or Parliament perſonal ſhould forfeit their Power, the Kingdom doth not thereby forfeit their right in the conſtituted Form of Government, by a King and Parliament.

SECTION 4.

I Have interpoſed this account of the Principles on which I acted; I will next add an account of my Actions hereupon, and then return to the Confeſſion of my own Sins as far as I know them.

1. Refuſing a Chaplain's Commiſſion, I continued about two Years or more in Coventry, as a Lecturer to the Gariſon and City, in quietneſs, ſave that we daily heard of all the diſmal Wars abroad. Only twice I went out with them, 1. To take in Tamworth Caſtle that coſt no Blood, 2. And to beſiege Banbury Caſtle, whoſe Soldiers rob'd Warwickshire, and the Travellers and Carriers on London Road. But thence we were raiſed and driven home with ſome loſs.

Alſo for two or three Months the care of my Native Countrey and of my Father drew me into Shropſhire, with ſome that went to ſettle a Gariſon at Wem: There and at Longford Houſe I ſtaid till my Father was delivered from Impriſonment by Exchange, for a ſhort time.

2. All that ever I converſt with, did all this while proteſs to own the King, and only to ſeparate him from an Army of Delinquents, and p. 22to reunite him and his Parliament: And we thought all the Armies had intended no worſe. But when Naſeby Fight was paſt, having heard that the King was left out of the New Commiſſions, I went to ſee the Field where the Fight was, and the Army: And there accoſted me ſome ſober honeſt Captains, and told me that their Army was corrupted by the fault of the Miniſters, that had all forſaken them, being weary of the Labour, and impatient of the Sectaries in the Army, and ſo they were all left to the Preaching of their own Officers and Souldiers, and a few Chaplains of their own Mind and Choice. And that the bold Leaders began already to ſay, that God hath committed the ſafety of the Nation to their truſt; And what were the Lords and Knights in William the Conqueror's time, but his Colonels and Captains? In a word, I underſtood by them that they had a purpoſe to ſet up themſelves, and to overturn the Government of Church and …. This ſo ſurprized me, that whereas theſe Captains intreated … among them, and got Col. Whalley (who then ſeemed of their …) to invite me to his Regiment, I took but one days time to anſwer them. And I opened the ſad Caſe that we were all like to be in, to an Aſſembly of Miniſters in Coventry, whom I gathered to counſel me, and told them what I found, and that the Land was now like to fall into their hands: and that though I thought it was too late, I was inclined to venture my life among them in ſeeking to reclaim them. The Miniſters (Dr. Bryan, Dr. Grew, Mr. King, Mr. Brumskill, Mr. Morton, and others ſeeing my inclination gave their conſent: But the Committee (after conſent) refuſing, I was forced to tell them what I ſaw and heard in the Army, and what Danger the Kingdom was in, and ſo to go away againſt their will: But Col. W. Pureſoy a Confident of Cromwell's, threatened me for ſuch words, and I imagine ſent Cromwell word that Night: For the next Morning I was met with ſcorn, and I ſuppoſe all known to Cromwell that I had ſaid: and Cromwell would never after allow me any opportunity, beyond the Regiment that I joyned to: And there I ſpent near two years in Labours and Diſputings againſt well-meaning perverted Sectaries, if it had been poſſible to have turned them from what they after did. But my capacity was narrow (though there I prevailed with moſt). And I got Mr. Cook (ſince of Cheſter, that ſuffered much for the King, and after by the King) a great Enemy to Sects and Sedition, to come and help me; but they wearied him away: And beſides Mr. Bowles, I know none but perverſe Sectaries, (part Arminians, but moſt Antinomians or worſe) left to be their Teachers.

I told the Parliament Men what the Army would do, and warned them to prepare: But it was too late: Cromwell and his Confederates did all, and made a Stale of Fairfax's Name; and Vane and Haſlerigge and their Friends in Parliament, disbanded all the ſober Souldiers in Gariſons and Bragades that would have reſiſted them; and ſo put the p. 23Power of King, Parliament and Kingdom into their hands, and ſome of them repented when it was too late.

In Feb. 1656/7. they began their Conſpiracy againſt the Parliament in a Meeting at Nottingham, and that very day God ſeparated me from them by Bleeding 120 Ounces at the Noſe (at Milborne in Derbyſhire) when elſe I had (in vain) hazarded my life againſt them at Triploe Heath, by drawing from them as many as I could. But Sir Edward Hatley and other Officers that did it, and drew off about Five thouſand did but ſtrengthen them. For Cromwell fill'd up their places with Sectaries and Soldiers that had ſerved the King before, and was ſtronger than before, as having none to diſtruſt.

To tell what they did after againſt the Eleven Members, and then againſt the Majority of the Parliament, and then againſt the King, and then againſt the Rump, and then againſt the Miniſtry, and how Cromwell contrived himſelf into the Supremacy, would be to write the Hiſtory of that time, and to Epitomize Whitlock.

This much I thought neceſſary to premiſe to my own review of my actions, and for them that call me to Repentance, who while they falſly judge of the Hiſtory, can be no true Judges of the Application. I proceed therefore to the exerciſe of Repentance as far as I can know.

SECTION 5.

XXIV. I Greatly repent that I at Coventry took the Scots Covenant, for the many Reaſons which I ſhall hereafter rehearſe. And that once I gave it to one Man, a Papiſt Phyſition who pretended to be converted, and deſired me to give it him: But ſuſpecting his Hypocriſie, I never gave it more, but kept I think Thouſands from taking it in Worceſterſhire and elſewhere. I thought at firſt that it was intended only as a Teſt to the Gariſons and Armies, and knew not that it would after be made a dividing teſt for the Magiſtracy, and Miniſtry through the Land: which yet by the tenour of it, I might have underſtood. But I repent not that I neither ſware nor ſubſcribed that no man that ever took it, is obliged by it to that part which is good and neceſſary: Perjury is no jeſting Matter.

XXV. I more repent that I once publickly defended it againſt a Writing of Sir Francis Netherſole, which he wrote againſt Mr. Vines, who had Preached for it. And that I did not more impartially conſult with Sir Francis, and hear all that he had to ſay againſt it: For he was near us, and I Preacht to him once at Kenelworth-Caſtle, where as a Priſoner he was liker the Maſter of that Pleaſant Seat (under Colonel Needham) for he ſeemed purpoſely to force the Committee to Impriſon him, by conſtant provoking them, who would fain have let him alone: But by that means he ſaved Houſe-keeping, and ſcaped both Plundering p. 24and Sequeſtring on both Sides, and ſecured his Eſtate, and his Perſon in a place of freedom and delight by Water and Land.

XXVI. And though I thought that a Parliament's Judgment was above all Lawyers, yet I repent that I had not more diligently conſulted Lawyers on the other ſide: Though indeed I knew not well where to find them, the Lawyers of my Acquaintance being for the Parliament.

XXVII. And whereas I then thought that Neutrality was a heinous Sin, to ſtand by in the Danger of the Land; I now repent of that Opinion; conſidering that in a caſe of Blood, Men ſhould very clearly be reſolved before they venture on either ſide.

XXVIII. And I repent that I was by Ignorance, in too much fear of Religion by the danger of Arminianiſm; and thought too hardly of the Laudian party on that account: For though I am no Arminian, I have fully proved in my Catholick Theology, that the difference is more verbal and ſmall, than the Zealots of either ſide do imagine: which Book is yet anſwered by none.

XXIX. Accordingly, I at Coventry engaged in a diſpute againſt Mr. Cradock, and Mr. Diamond, to prove Remiſſion of Sin (not only Conditional but Actual) to be an Immediate effect of Chriſt's Death, and pleaded for it, Heb. 1. 3. and Rom. 8 32. (and againſt Univerſal Redemption) which I ſince perceive I miſunderſtood and abuſed.

XXX. I repent that I ſooner enquired not into the danger that the Land was in by Cromwell and his Sectaries: And I repent that when his fundamental Troop at Cambridge (which after made Commanders headed his Army) wrote to me with Subſcribed Names to be their Paſtor, I refuſed and rejected the offer to their offence, telling them that I was neither for a Military Church nor an Independent popular Church; Had I gone to them then, what might I have prevented?

XXXI. Though I am not able to ſee, that I did not my Duty (my moſt Self-denying and coſtly Duty) in taking the defence of the Nation, Religion, King and Parliament (to be reduced to Unity) to be my neceſſary Employment (while I owned not their Miſcarriages) yet knowing the frailty of my underſtanding, I daily beg of God, that if I was miſtaken he will make me know it (for which I have long Prayed); and that he will pardon my Sins, which I would fain know, and fain repent of, and publickly confeſs if I could know them; but dare not take the greateſt Duty of my life to be my Sin.

XXXII. I am in great doubt how far I did well or ill in my oppoſition to Cromwell and his Army at laſt. I am ſatisfied that it was my duty to diſown, and as I did, to oppoſe their Rebellion and other Sin: But there were many honeſt Pious men among them: And when God chooſeth the Executioners of his Juſtice as he pleaſeth, I am oft in doubt whether I ſhould not have been more Paſſive and Silent than I was; Though not as Jeremy to Nebuchadnezzar, to perſwade men to ſubmit: p. 25Yet to have forborn ſome ſharp publick Preaching and Writing againſt them, too late, when they ſet themſelves to promote Piety to ingratiate their Uſurpation. To diſturb Poſſeſſors needeth a clear Call, when for what end ſoever they do that good, which men of better title will deſtroy.

XXXIII. When they commanded days of Prayer and Thankſgiving for their Wars in Scotland, &c. And when they impoſed the ENGAGEMENT to be true to the Commonwealth as it was eſtabliſhed without a King, and Houſe of Lords, I repent not that I refuſed it, and wrote and preach'd againſt it: But I doubt whether I did well in overdoing herein: And had not waited more ſilently on God's Providence, till he had cleared my way.

XXXIV. I repented oft that I wrote the Book called Aphoriſms of Juſtification and the Covenant: Not but that I think it ſound Doctrine and uſeful: But it being my firſt, is defective in Method and in ſome words which ſhould have been more clearly and cautelouſly expreſt: And in my perſonal oppoſition to Dr. Owen's Errours, I ſhould have conſidered what a temptation it would prove to the Paſſions of ſuch a man (who yet grew more humble and orthodox before he died).

XXXV. Though my Conſcience telleth me that the very many Books which I after wrote, were for the propagating and defending of needful Truth, and that I never truſted to any thing but Truth and Evidence for Victory, yet I fear leſt in many of them there be the faultineſs of ſome imprudent provoking words, and that I did not always ſufficiently conſider what miſtaking men cannot bear, as well as what is congruous to the Matter and Cauſe. I ſtill found it difficult to avoid too much Keenneſs, and yet not to wrong the Cauſe by dull pretence of Lenity.

XXXVI. Two things concurred to cauſe me to write my Political Aphoriſms or Holy Common-wealth, of which I afterward repented.

1. James Harrington wrote his Oceana for a looſe Popular Government, and Sir H. Vane was contriving another for a Military and Phanatick Democracy; both which I ſaw were utterly inconſiſtent with the Obligations, Peace and Safety of the Land.

2. Sir Francis Netherſole ſent purpoſely to me a Meſſenger to deſire me to go to London to Cromwell, and perſwade him to reſign the Government to King Ch. II. I anſwered him that Cromwell had been tryed therein by many, but would not ſo eaſily reſign what he had got. He once admitted me to his Diſcourſe, and before the Lord Broghil, Lambert and Thurloe, I urged him to tell us, what the People of England had done to forfeit their right to the Enjoyment of their ancient conſtituted Government, which they profeſſed to be for and ſtill deſired? And all the anſwer that I could have was, that God had changed it by his Providence, the paſſages of which he talkt over near two hours, till p. 26Lambert took on him to be aſleep: for we muſt not interrupt him. Then Sir Francis ſent me his Printed Books and ſome Papers, to have diſputed over all the Caſe of the War: And not knowing how many ſuch I might be put to anſwer, I thought beſt, in Print to tell him on what Grounds and Principles I had gone, not undertaking that I had not miſtaken, but to deſire him if I had erred to ſhew it by anſwering my Reaſons there given. But before I could have his Anſwer, the diſtracted Armies had overturned all the preſent Government.

I repented Writing that Book, 1. Becauſe it came out unſeaſonably too late.

2. Becauſe in oppoſition to Harrington, I had pleaded for Monarchy, with ſome exceſs, and I wiſht that I had not medled with Government, but left all to the Providence of God.

3. Becauſe it did occaſion more hurt than good: ſo that it became the common Theme of ambitious young Preachers, eſpecially at Court, before K. Ch. II. as the way to Preferment, to talk againſt The Holy Commonwealth, falſly perſwading men that by a Commonwealth I meant Democracy or Popular Government, which the Book was purpoſely written againſt. So that when the Oxford Univerſity burnt that Book (with Dr. Whitby's excellent Reconciler, and ſome others) though I expoſtulated with the Vice-Chancellor concerning its Principles, I told them I conſented that the Book was burnt: though I told them not why, as now I do.

XXXVII. Though both Nature and Grace inclined me to hate Lying, and ſpecially in Writers and Preachers, and I honoured Jul. Caeſ. Scaliger the more, becauſe his Son Joſeph tells us how vehemently he hated a Lie, ſo that he could not be reconciled to a Liar, yet I confeſs that my impatience herein was faulty. It was long before I well perceived that the Father of Lies, doth Govern his Kingdom (moſt of the World) by meer Lying: Call it Errour, or Miſtake, or Falſhood, or what you will, all ſignifieth the ſame thing: It is delivering Falſhood for Truth. Chriſt had told us that the Devil is the Father of Lies, and when he ſpeaketh a Lie, he ſpeaketh his own. Deceit is by Lying, and by this he ruleth his World. As God's Image conſiſteth in Life, Light and Love, the Devil's Image is Hatred. Falſhood and Hurtfulneſs or Murder, Joh. 8 But alas to take this for ſome ſtrange thing, and to be overimpatient with Liars, was my fault, when now I find it is but the very ſtate of corrupt unreneved Nature: And Pride the Father, and Ignorance the Mother, make Kingdoms, Cities and Perſons like a rotting Carkaſs that ſwarms with Maggots. You that read Hiſtories, read with Judgment and due Suſpicion; for the common corrupt Nature is a lying Nature: And it is not about Religion only; but the Fool rageth and is confident in all his Errours. O what abundance of Lying Books p. 27are Shops and Libraries fill'd with, even in Hiſtory and Theology! What abundance of falſe Counſels do Phyſicians give! what abundance of falſe accuſations doth Envy and Malice vend? What abundance of falſe Doctrines and Cenſures doth ignorant Sectarian Zeal foment? How many Lies for one Truth is carried for News, or for Slander about the Streets? And how few ſcruple receiving and reporting them, & how fewer rebuke them? It's uſeful for the World to know how common this Malady is, but it was almoſt in deſpair that I lately wrote a Book againſt it, of pretended Knowledge and Love) I blame not my ſelf for hating it, but being too impatient with it; eſpecially in Books and Preachers, as if it had been a ſtrange thing.

XXXVIII. When I wrote my five Diſputations of Church Government, I too haſtily miſ tranſlated ſome words of Ignatius, and though I then owned Apoſtolick Succeſſors in the continued part of their Work, I did not ſo fully as now underſtand, how Chriſt by Inſtitution then founded a National Church, nor what a National Church was; nor how that which was ultimum in executione (a Chriſtian Soveraignty) was primum in intentione, to which bare Preaching was preparatory.

XXXIX. When I wrote my Treatiſe of Epiſcopacy, I Calculated it to the Laudian Faction then prevalent, that called it ſelf, the Church of England; and though I diſtinguiſhed them that put down all the Parochial Paſtors and Churches, and turned them all into meer Curates and Chappels (or partes Eccleſiarum infimarum) and ſo put down hundreds of Biſhops and Churches under pretence of magnifying One; from the old Reformed Church of England that put not down theſe, but only ſinfully fettered them, yet I did not ſo largely open the difference as I ought, which gave Mr. Lobb occaſion to write confidently for Separation.

XL. When my Books againſt Conformity had irritated Dr. Stillingfleet to make me an inſtance of miſchievous Separation (who had conſtantly heard and communicated with my Pariſh Churches, and for my private or occaſional Preaching had the Biſhops Licence approved under the hands of two the greateſt Lawyers of England (the Lord Chief Juſtice Sanders, and the now Lord Chief Juſtice Polix…en) I doubt that I too provokingly took the advantage of his temerity, and confuted him in too provoking terms, not conſidering enough that a Man of great Learning, Labour, and Merit, and Name, hath a great intereſt of Reputation which he would not be inſenſible of: And if it were true as many without proof report, that his exaſperation engaged firſt Mr. Morrice, and after the ſecond Author of the Miſchief of Separation (whoſe writing againſt me is the tranſcript of the Character given by Chriſt, John 8. 44.) yet I honour the Reading, Learning, Labour and great Worth of Dr. Stillingfleet, now Biſhop of Worceſter, and what ever hand he had in it, I unfeignedly forgive him.

p. 28XLI. And in defence of the Nonconformiſts againſt the falſe accuſation of Shiſm laid on them by the Impoſing Schiſmaticks, I doubt, I was too keen in confuting Mr. Sherlocke; I found it hard to diſcern whether the defence of truth and ſlandered ſuffering Servants of Chriſt, or not exaſperating falſe Accuſers ſhould command my ſtyle.

XLII. What other Errors there are or have been in my Life or Writings, I daily beg of God to diſcover to me and pardon: For I never did any thing which might not and ought not to have been done better. Particularly I beg pardon for too frequent haſtineſs and harſhneſs of Speech, to my neareſt Domeſticks, from whom I never differed one moment in point of Intereſt or Love; but had too often ſour overhaſty provoking words on trifling occaſions.

XLIII. But all forementioned ſet together lye not half ſo heavy on my Soul, as my inward Deficience and Omiſſion; That having had ſo many Convictions of the truth of Scripture, and the certainty of the Life to come, and can ſcarce think of any thing but death and the future ſtate, it is ſo ſure and near, and have read, and heard, and written ſo much of the Love of God and of Heaven as I have done, it ſhameth, it grieveth me, it maketh me even abhor and loath my ſelf, that I uſually reach little higher than pacifick, quieting dull Affections, and that Faith, and Hope, and Love, do not keep me in more delightful thoughts of God and my Redeemer, and in a more joyful longing to be with Chriſt and all the Bleſſed; and that ever I ſhould have a cold and common thought of God and things ſo high and holy, and that the proſpect of my change, and the coming of Chriſt, is not a continual Feaſt to my Soul, and ſetteth me not more above the concerns of this vile and corruptible Fleſh, and above all impatience of pain, and above the fears of Death and Corruption. O what a contradiction is there between that Head and Tongue that profeſſeth to believe what I profeſs, of God, of Chriſt, of Endleſs Glory, and that Heart that no more rejoiceth in that Belief and Hope, but by languor and decay of Nature, (and doubtleſs great imperfection of Faith) is kept from that joy that ſuch believing in reaſon ſhould produce, and goeth towards Heaven with ſo many pawſes of fear or dulneſs, and ſo little of that Heavenly delight, which I have long been ſeeking of God, and which my low and weak condition needeth.

Lord, all my ſins are known to thee, let me never be unwilling to know them, nor let them be ſo unknown to me as to invalidate my Repentance, or fruſtrate my hope of pardon through Chriſt.