Dying Thoughts Upon Philippians 1:23, Part 2

Dying Thoughts Upon Philippians 1:23 · Part 2

p. 202The Concluding Application.

§ 1. I am convinced that it is far better to depart and be with Chriſt, than to be here: But there is much more than ſuch conviction neceſſary to bring up my Soul to ſuch deſires. Still there reſiſteth, 1. The natutural averſeneſs to Death which God hath put into every Animal, and which is become inordinate and too ſtrong by ſin. II. The remnants of Unbelief, taking advantage of our darkneſs here in the Fleſh, and our too much familiarity with this viſible World. III. The want of more lively fortaſts in a heavenly mind and love, through weakneſs of Grace, and the fear of Guilt. Theſe ſtand up againſt all that is ſaid; and words will not overcome them: what then muſt be done? Is there no remedy?

§ 2. There is a Special ſort of the Teaching of God p. 203by which we muſt learn ſo to number our Days as to apply our Hearts to Wiſdom: Without which we ſhall never effectually, practically and ſavingly learn either this or any the moſt common and obviouſ eaſie Leſſon. When we have read, and heard, and ſpoken, and written the ſoundeſt Truth, and certaineſt Arguments, we know yet as if we knew not and believe as if we believed not, with a ſlight and dreaming kind of apprehenſion, till God by a ſpecial Illumination bring the ſame things clearly to our Minds, and awaken the Soul by a ſpecial ſuſcitation, to feel what we know, and ſuit the Soul to the Truth revealed, by an influx of his Love, which giveth us a pleaſing ſenſe of the Amiableneſs and Congruity of the things propoſed. Since we ſeparated our ſelves from God, there is a hedge of ſeparation between our Senſes and our Underſtandings, and between our Underſtandings and our Wills and Affections, ſo that the communion between them is violated, and we are divided in our ſelves, by this Schiſm in our Faculties. All men ſtill ſee the demonſtrations of Divine Perfections, in the World and every part thereof; and yet how little is God known. All men may eaſily know that there is a God, who is Almighty, Omniſcient, Goodneſs itſelf, Eternal, Omnipreſent, the Maker, Preſerver, and Governour of all, who ſhould have our whole Truſt, and Love, and Obedience; and yet how little of this knowledge is to be perceived in mens Hearts to themſelves, or in their Lives to others? All men know that the World is Vanity, that Man muſt die, that Riches then profit not, that time is precious, and that we have only this little time to prepare for that which we muſt receive hereafter: And yet how little do men ſeem to know indeed, of all ſuch things as no Man doubts of? And when God doth p. 204come in with his powerful awakening Light and Love, then all theſe things have another appearance of affecting reality, than they had before; as if but now we began to know them: Words, Doctrines, Perſons, Things do ſeem as newly known to us.

All my beſt Reaſons for our Immortality and future Life, are but as the New-formed Body of Adam, before God breathed into him the Breath of Life: It is he that muſt make them Living Reaſons. To the Father of Lights therefore I muſt ſtill look up, and for his Light and Love I muſt ſtill wait; as for his bleſſing on the Food which I have eaten, which muſt concoct it into my living ſubſtance: Arguments will be but undigeſted Food, till God's effectual influx do digeſt them. I muſt learn both as a Student and a Beggar: when I have thought and thought a Thouſand times, I muſt beg thy Bleſſing, Lord, upon my Thoughts, or they will all be but dulneſs or ſelf-diſtraction. If there be no Motion, Light, and Life, here without the Influx of the Sun, what can Souls do, or receive or feel without thy influx. This World will be to us without thy Grace, as a Grave or Dungeon, where we ſhall lie in Death and Darkneſs. The eye of my Underſtanding, and all its Thoughts will be uſeleſs or vexatious to me, without thine illuminating Beams? O ſhine the Soul of thy Servant into a clearer knowledge of thy Self and Kingdom, and Love him into more Divine and heavenly love; and then he will willingly come to thee!

§ 3. 1. And why ſhould I ſtrive by the fears of Death, againſt the common courſe of Nature, and againſt my only hopes of Happineſs? Is it not appointed for all men once to die? Would I have God to alter this determinate Courſe, and make ſinful Man immortal p. 205upon Earth? When we are ſinleſs we ſhall be immortal. The love of life was given to teach me to preſerve it carefully and uſe it well, and not to torment me with the continual troubling foreſight of Death: Shall I make my ſelf more miſerable than the Vegetatives and Bruits? Neither they nor I do grieve that my Flowers muſt fade and die, and that my ſweet and pleaſant Fruits muſt fall, and the Trees be uncloathed of their beauteous leaves, until the Spring. Birds, and Beaſts, and Fiſhes, and Worms, have all a ſelf-preſerving fear of Death, which urgeth them to fly from danger: But few if any of them have a tormenting fear ariſing from the fore-thoughts that they muſt die. To the Body death is leſs troubleſom than ſleep: For in ſleep I may have diſquieting pains or dreams: And yet I fear not going to my bed. But of this before.

If it be the miſery after Death that's feared, O what have I now to do, but to receive the free reconciling Grace which is offered me from Heaven, to ſave me from ſuch miſery, and to devote my ſelf totally to him, who hath promiſed, that thoſe that come to him he will in no wiſe caſt out.

§ 4 But this cometh by my ſelfiſhneſs: Had I ſtudied my duty, and then remembred that I am not mine own, and that it is God's part and not mine to determine of the duration of my life, I had been quiet from theſe fruitleſs fears: But when I fell to my ſelf from God, I am faln to care for my ſelf, as if it were my work to meaſure out my Days, and now I truſt not God as I ſhould do with his own. And had my reſignation and devotedneſs to him been more abſolute, my truſt in him would have been more eaſy! But Lord, thou knoweſt that I would fain be thine, and wholly thine; and it is to thee that I deſire to live: Therefore p. 206let me quietly Die to Thee, and wholly Truſt Thee with my Soul.

§ 5. II. And why ſhould my want of formal Conceptions of the future ſtate of ſeparated Souls, and my ſtrangeneſs to the manner of their ſubſiſtence and operations, induce me to doubt of thoſe generals, which are evident, and beyond all rational doubting? That Souls are ſubſtances, and not annihilated, and eſſentially the ſame when they forſake the Body, as before, I doubt not. Otherwiſe neither the Chriſtians Reſurrection, nor the Pythagoreans tranſmigration were a poſſible thing. For if the Soul ceaſe to be, it cannot paſs into another Body, nor can it re-enter into this? If God raiſe this Body then it muſt be by another Soul! For the ſame Soul to be Annihilated, and yet to begin again to be, is a contradiction: For the ſecond beginning would be by Creation, which maketh a new Soul, and not the ſame that was before. It is the Inviſible things that are excellent, active, operative and permanent: The Viſible (excepting Light which maketh all things elſe viſible) are of themſelves but lifeleſs droſs: It is the unſeen part of Plants and Flowers which cauſeth all their growth and beauty, their fruit and ſweetneſs: Paſſive Matter is but moved up and down by the inviſible active Powers, as Cheſs-men are moved from place to place by the Gameſters hands: What a loathſom Corps were the World without the inviſible Spirits and Natures that animate, actuate or move it▪ To doubt of the being or continuation of the moſt excellent Spiritual parts of the Creation, when we live in a World that is actuated by them, and where every thing demonſtrates them as their effects, is more fooliſh than to doubt of the being of theſe groſs materials which we ſee.

§ 6. How oft have I been convinced that there are p. 207good Spirits with whom our Souls have as certain communion (though not ſo ſenſible) as our Life hath with the Sun, and as we have with one another? And that there are evil and envious Spirits that fight againſt our Holineſs and Peace, as certain Narratives of Apparitions and Witches, and too ſad experience of Temptations do evince. And the marvellous diverſity of Creatures on Earth, for kind and number, yea, the diverſity of Stars in Heaven, as well as the diverſities of Angels, and Devils, do partly tell me, that though All be of One, and through One, and to One, yet abſolute Unity is the divine Prerogative, and we muſt not preſume to expect ſuch Perfection, as to loſe our ſpecifique or numerical diverſity by any Union which ſhall befall our Souls. Nor can I reaſonably doubt that ſo noble and active a Nature as Souls, dwelling above in the lucid Regions, in communion with their like, and with their betters, ſhall be without the activity, the pleaſure, and felicity, which is ſuitable to their Nature, their Region, and their Company. And my Saviour hath entered into the Holieſt, and hath aſſured me that there are many Manſions in his Fathers Houſe, and that when we are abſent from the Body we ſhall be preſent with the Lord.

§ 7. Organical ſight is given me for my uſe here in the Body: And a Serpent or a Hawk hath as much or more of this than I have: Mental knowledge reacheth further than ſight, and is the act of a nobler Faculty, and for a higher uſe: Though it be the Soul itſelf embodied in the igneous Spirits that ſeeth, yet it is by a higher and more uſeful Faculty, that it underſtandeth: And Faith is an underſtanding act: It knoweth things unſeen becauſe they are revealed. Who can think that all believing holy Souls, that have paſſed hence from the beginning of the World, have been p. 208deceived in their Faith and Hope? And that all the w…cked worldly Infidels, whoſe hope was only in this life, have been the wiſeſt men and have been in the right: If Virtue, and Piety, are faults or fo…lies, and bruitiſh Senſual…ty be beſt, then why are not Laws made to command Senſual…ty, and forb…d Piety and Virtue? To ſay this, is to deny humanity, and the Wiſdom of our Creator, and to feign the World to be governed by a Lie, and to take the Perfection of our Nature for its diſeaſe, and our greateſt diſeaſe for our Perfection. But if Piety, and Virtue, be better than Impiety and Vice, the Principles and neceſſary Motives of them are certainly true, and the exerciſe of them is not in vain. What abominable folly and wickedneſs were it to ſay the wicked only attain their ends, and that they all loſe their labour, and live, and die in miſerable deceit, who ſeek to pleaſe God in hope of a better life to come, believing that God is the Rewarder of them that diligently ſeek him? Wou…d not this juſtifie the fooliſh Manichees that thought a bad God made this World; yea, and would infer that he not only made us for a miſchief, but Ruleth u… to our deceit and hurt, and giveth us both Natural and Supernatural Laws, in ill will to us, to m…ſlead us to our miſery, and to fill our lives with needleſs troubles: Shall I not abhor every ſuggeſtion that containeth ſuch inhumane abſurdities as theſe? Wonderful! that Satan can keep up ſo much Unbelief in the World, while he muſt make men ſuch fools, that he may make them unbelievers and ungodly.

§ 8. III. That my Soul is no more heavenly, and my foretaſt of future Bleſſedneſs is ſo ſmall, is partly the fruit of thoſe many wilful ſins, by which I have quenched the Spirit that ſhould be my Comforter: And it is p. 209partly from our common ſtate of darkneſs and ſtrangeneſs, while the Soul is in Fleſh, and operateth as the Bodies form, according to its Intereſt and Capacity: Affections are more eaſily ſtirred up to things ſeen, than to things that are both unſeen, and known only very defectively, by general, and not by clear diſtinct apprehenſions. And yet this, O this is the miſery and burden of my Soul! Though I can ſay that I love God's Truth and Graces, his Work, and his Servants, and whatever of God I ſee in the World, and that this is a love of God in his Creatures, Word and Works; yet that I have no more deſiring and delightful Love of Heaven, where his Lovelineſs will be more fully opened to my Soul, and that the thoughts of my ſpeedy appearing there, are no more joyful to me, than they are, is my ſin, and my calamity, and my ſhame: And if I did not ſee that it is ſo with other of the Servants of Chriſt, as well as with me, I ſhould doubt whether affections ſo unproportionable to my Profeſſion, did not ſignifie unſoundneſs in my belief. It is ſtrange and ſhameful that one that expecteth quickly to ſee the glorious World, and to enter the Holy Celeſtial Society, ſhould be no more joyfully affected with theſe hopes: And that I ſhould make any great matter of the pain and langiſhing and periſhing of the Fleſh, when it is the common way to ſuch an end? O hateful ſin that hath ſo darkned and corrupted Souls, as to eſtrange and undiſpoſe them to the only ſtate of their hoped happineſs: Alas, what did Man when he forſook the Love and Obedience of his God? How juſt it is that this Fleſh and World ſhould become our Priſon, which we would make our home, and would not uſe as our Lord appointed us, as our Servant and way to our better ſtate? Though our way muſt not be our home, our Father p. 210would not have been ſo ſtrange to us in the way, if we had not unthankfully turned away from his Grace and Love.

§ 9. It is to us that know not the Myſteries of Infinite Wiſdom, the ſaddeſt thought that ever doth poſſeſs our Minds, to conſider that there is no more Grace and Holineſs, knowledge of God, and communion with him in this World! That ſo few are Saints, and thoſe few ſo lamentably defective and imperfect! That when the Sun ſhineth on all the Earth, the Sun of Righteouſneſs ſhineth on ſo ſmall a part of it, and ſo few live in the Love of God, and the joyful hopes of future Bleſſedneſs; and thoſe few have ſo low a meaſure of it, and are corrupted and troubled with ſo many contrary affections. Infinite goodneſs is not undiſpoſed to do good▪ He that made us capable of Holy and Heavenly affections, gave us not that Capacity in vain. And yet, alas, how little of God and Glory taketh up the Hearts of men!

But Man hath no cauſe to grudge at God! The Devils before their fall were not made indefectible! Divine Wiſdom is delighted in the diverſity of his Works, and maketh them not all of equal excellency. Free will was to act its part! Hell is not to be as good as Heaven! And ſin hath made Earth to be next to Hell! So much Sin, ſo much Hell! What is ſin but a willful forſaking of God? And can we forſake him and yet love him and enjoy his love! God's Kingdom is not to be judged of by his Jail, or Gibbets. We willfully forſook the Light, and made the World a Dungeon to our ſelves! And when recovering Light doth ſhine unto us, how unthankfully do we uſually entertain it! We cannot have the conduct and comfort of it while we ſhut our Eyes and turn away. And what though God give not to all men an overcoming meaſure, nor to the beſt ſo much as they deſire? The Earth p. 211is but a ſpot or point of God's Creation; not ſo much as an Ant hillock to a Kingdom, or perhaps to all the Earth: And who is ſcandalized becauſe the World hath an heap of Ants in it, yea, or a Neſt of Snakes, that are not men! The vaſt unmeaſurable Worlds of Light which be above us are poſſeſſed by Inhabitants ſuitable to their Glory! A Caſement or Creviſe of Light, or a Candle in this darkſom World, is an unſpeakable Mercy! yea, that we may but hear of a better World, and may ſeek it in Hope! we muſt not grudge that in our Priſon we have not that preſence of our King, and pleaſures of the Kingdom, as innocent and free Subjects have hope of Pardon, & of a ſpeedy deliverance are great Mercies to Malefactors.

§ 10. And if my want of the Knowledge and Love of God, and joyful communion with the heavenly Society, by my Priſon and as the Suburbs of Hell, ſhould it not make me long for the Day of my Redemption, and the glorious liberty of the Sons of God? My true deſires of deliverance, and of Holineſs and Perfection, are my Evidences that I ſhall obtain them. As the Will is the Sinner, ſo it is the obſtinate continuance of a Will to ſin, which is the bondage, and the cauſe of continued ſin: And a continued Hell, is continued ſin, as to the firſt part at leaſt: Therefore they that continue in Hell, do continue in a ſinning Will, and ſo continue in a Love and willingneſs of ſo much of Hell. So far as God maketh us willing to be delivered from ſin, ſo far we are delivered: And our initial imperfect deliverance is the way to more. If pains then make me groan for eaſe, and ſickneſs make me wiſh for Health, why ſhould not my remnants of Ignorance, Unbelief, and Strangeneſs to God, occaſion me to long for the Day of my Salvation? This is the greateſt of all my troubles: And ſhould it not then be the greateſt p. 212wearying burden from which I ſhould earneſtly deſire to be eaſed: As Grace never doth hurt efficiently, and yet may be ill uſed and do hurt objectively (as to them that are proud of it) ſo ſin never doth good efficiently and of itſelf, and yet objectively may do good: For ſin may be the Object of Grace, and ſo to uſe it is not ſin. My unbelief, and darkneſs, and diſaffection, and inordinate love of this life, do of themſelves moſt hinder my deſires of deliverance and of a better life; but objectively what more fit to make me a weary of ſuch a grievous ſtate? Were my unbelief and earthly mind predominant, they would chain my affections to this World; or if I were conſtrainedly weary of a miſerable life, I ſhould have no comfortable hopes of a better. But as it is the Nature of my ſin to draw down my Heart from God and Glory, it is the nature of my Faith, and Hope, and Love to carry it upward, and to deſire the heavenly Perfection: Not to love Death, but to love that which is beyond it. And have I been ſo many years in the School of Chriſt, learning both how to live and die, begging and ſtudying for this Grace, and exerciſing it againſt this ſinful Fleſh, and ſhall I now after all find Fleſh more powerful to draw me downward, than Faith, Hope and Love to carry my deſires up to God!

§ 11. O God forbid! O thou that freely gaveſt me thy Grace, maintain it to the laſt againſt its Enemies, and make it finally victorious! It came from thee; it hath been preſerved by thee; it is on thy ſide, and wholly for thee; O let it not now fail, and be conquered by blind and baſe Carnality, or by the temptations of a helliſh conquered Enemy! without it I had lived as a Beaſt, and without it I ſhould die more miſerably than a Beaſt! It is thine Image which thou loveſt; it is a Divine Nature, and heavenly p. 213Beam; what will a Soul be without it, but a Dungeon of Darkneſs, a Devil for malignity, and dead to Holineſs and Heaven? without it, who ſhall plead thy Cauſe againſt the Devil, World and Fleſh? without thy Glory Earth is but Earth; without thy Natural Efficacy, it would be nothing; without thy wiſe and potent Ordination, it would be but a Chaos; and without thy Grace, it would be a Hell. O rather deny me the Light of the Sun, than the Light of thy Countenance! Leſs miſerable had I been without Life or Being, than without thy Grace. Without thee and my Saviour's help I can do nothing; I did not live without thee, I could not pray or learn without thee; I never could conquer a temptation without thee; and can I die, or be prepared to die without thee? Alas! I ſhall but ſay as Philip of Chriſt, I know not whither my Soul is going, and how then ſhall I know the way. My Lord having loved his own in the World, did love them to the end. Thou loveſt fidelity and perſeverance in thy Servants, even thoſe that in his ſufferings forſook him and fled, yet are commended and rewarded by Chriſt, for continuing with him in his temptations, Luk. 22. 28. And wilt thou forſake a ſinner in his extremity, who conſenteth to thy Covenant, and would not forſake thee? My God, I have often ſinned againſt thee, but yet thou knoweſt I would fain be thine: I have not ſerved thee with the reſolution, fidelity and delight, as ſuch a Maſter ſhould have been ſerved, but yet I would not forſake thy ſervice, nor change my Maſter or my Work; I can ſay with thy Servant Paul, Act. 27. 23. that thou art the GOD WHOSE I AM, and WHOM I SERVE; and O that I could ſerve thee better! For to ſerve thee, is but to Receive thy p. 214Grace, and to uſe it for my own, and others good, and ſo to glorifie thee, and pleaſe thy will, which being LOVE it ſelf, is pleaſed beſt when we receive and do moſt good. I have not loved thee as Infinite Goodneſs, and Love it ſelf, and fatherly Bounty ſhould have been loved; but yet I would not forſake thy Family; and nothing in this World is more my grief than that I love thee no more; forſake not then a ſinner that would not forſake thee, that looketh every hour towards thee, that feeleth it as a piece of Hell to be ſo dark and ſtrange unto thee, that gropeth, and groaneth, and gaſpeth after thee; feeling to his greateſt ſorrow, (though thou art every where) that while he is preſent in the body, he is abſent from the Lord. My Lord, I have nothing to do in this World, but to ſeek and ſerve thee; I have nothing to do with a Heart and its affections, but to breath after thee? I have nothing to do with my Tongue and Pe…, but to ſpeak to thee, and for thee, and to publiſh thy Glory and thy Will? What have I to do with all my Reputation, and Intereſt in my Friends, but to increaſe thy Church, and propagate thy holy Truth and Service? What have I to do with my remaining Time, even theſe laſt and languiſhing hours, but to look up unto thee, and wait for thy Grace, and thy Salvation? O pardon all my carnal thoughts, and all my unthankful neglects of thy precious Grace, and Love, and all my wilful ſin againſt thy Truth and thee! and let the fuller Communications of thy forfeited Grace, now tell me by experience that thou doſt forgive me! Even under the terrible Law thou didſt tell Man thy very Nature, by proclaiming thy Name, Exod. 34 6, 7. The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-ſuffering, and abundant in p. 215goodneſs and Truth, keeping mercy for thouſands, forgiving iniquity, and tranſgreſſion and ſin; and is not the Grace of our Lord Jeſus Chriſt revealed in the Goſpel for our more abundant Faith and Conſolation? My God, I know, as I cannot Love thee according to thy Lovelineſs, ſo I cannot Truſt thee according to thy Faithfulneſs: I can never be ſufficiently confident of thy alſufficient Power, thy Wiſdom, and thy Goodneſs. When I have ſaid, as Pſal. 77. 7. Will the Lord caſt off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his Promiſe fail to Generations? hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger ſhut up his tender mercies? Conſcience hath replied, that This is my infirmity? I never wanted comfort, becauſe thou wantedſt mercy, but becauſe I wanted Faith and fitneſs to receive it, and perceive it. But haſt thou not mercy alſo to give me, even that Fitneſs, and that Faith? My God, all is of thee, and through thee, and all is to thee, and when I have the felicity, the Glory of all for ever will be thine. None that truſteth in thee (according to thy Nature and Promiſe) ſhall be aſhamed: If I can live and die in Truſting in thee, ſurely I ſhall not be confounded.

§ 12. Why then ſhould it ſeem a difficult Queſtion, how I may willingly leave this World, and my Soul depart to Chriſt in Peace. The ſame Grace which regenerated me, muſt bring me to my deſired end, as the ſame Principle of Vegetation which cauſeth the Bud muſt bring the Fruit to ſweet maturity. 1. BELIEVE and TRUST thy Father, thy Saviour, and thy Comforter. II. And HOPE for the joyful entertainments of his Love, and for the bleſſed ſtate which he hath promiſed. III. And long by LOVE for nearer p. 216Union and Communion with him; and thus, O my Soul, thou mayeſt depart in Peace.

I. How ſure is the Promiſe of God? How ſuitable to his Love, and to the Nature of our Souls, and to the operations of every Grace? It is initially performed here, whilſt our deſires are turned towards him, and the heavenly ſeed and ſpark is here ingenerated in a Soul that was dead and dark, and diſaffected. Is it any ſtrange thing for Fire to aſcend? yea or the fiery Principle of Vegetation in a Tree, to carry up the earthy matter to a great procerity? Is it ſtrange that Rivers ſhould haſten to the Sea? Whither ſhould Spirits go but to the Region, or World of Spirits? and whither ſhould Chriſt's Members, and holy Spirits go, but to himſelf, and the heavenly Society? And is not that a more holy and glorious place and ſtate, than this below? Earth is between Heaven and Hell; a place of groſs and paſſive matter, where Spirits may indeed operate upon that which needeth them, and where they may be detained a while in ſuch operation, or as incorporated Forms, if not incarcerate Delinquents; but it is not their center, end, or home. Even ſight and reaſon might perſuade me, that all the noble Inviſible powers that operate on this lower World, do principally belong unto a higher; and what can Earth add to their Eſſence, Dignity or Perfection?

§ 13. But why, O my Soul, art thou ſo vainly ſolicitous, to have formal, clear, diſtinct, conceptions of the Celeſtial World, and the individuation, and operations of ſeparated Souls, any more than of the Angels? While thou art the formal Principle of an animated Body▪ thy conceptions muſt be but ſuitable to their preſent ſtate and uſe: When thou art poſſeſſed of a better ſtate, thou ſhalt know it as a poſſeſſor ought to do: p. 217For ſuch a knowledge as thou lookeſt after, is part of the poſſeſſion: And to long to Know and Love, in Clearneſs and Perfection, is to long to poſſeſs. It is thy Saviour and his glorified Ones, that are comprehenſors and poſſeſſors! And it is his knowledge which muſt now be moſt of thy ſatisfaction. To ſeek his Prerogative to thy ſelf is vain uſurping arrogance? Wouldſt thou be a God and Saviour to thy ſelf? O conſider how much of the fall is in this ſelfiſh care and deſire to be as God, in knowing that of Good and Evil which belongeth not to thee but to God to know. Thou knoweſt paſt doubt that there is a God of Infinite Perfection, who is the rewarder of them that diligently ſeek him: Labour more to know thy duty to this God, and abſolutely Truſt him as to the particularities of thy felicity and reward. Thou didſt truſt thy Parents to provide thee food and raiment, when thou didſt but dutifully obey them: Though they could have forſaken thee or killed thee every hour, thou didſt never fear it. Thou haſt truſted Phyſicians to give thee even ungrateful Medicines, without enquiring after every ingredient, or fearing leſt they ſhould wilfully give thee Poyſon! I truſt a Barber with my Throat: I truſt a Boatman or Shipmaſter with my life: Yea, my Horſe that might caſt me; becauſe I have no reaſon to diſtruſt them, (ſaving their inſufficiency and uncertainty as Creatures.) If a Pilote undertake to bring thee to the Indies, thou canſt truſt his conduct, though thou know thy ſelf, neither the Ship, nor how to govern it, neither the way, nor the place to which thou art conveyed. And muſt not thy God and Saviour be truſted to bring thee ſafe to Heaven, unleſs he will ſatisfie all thy enquiries, of the individuation and operation of Spirits? Leave unſearchable and uſeleſs Queſtions to him that can eaſily p. 218reſolve them, and to thoſe to whom the knowledge of them doth belong. Thou doſt but entangle thy ſelf in ſin and ſelf-vexation, while thou wouldſt take God's work upon thee, and wouldſt know that for thy ſelf, which he muſt know for thee: Thy knowledge and care for it, did not precede nor prepare for thy Generation; nor for the motion of one Pulſe or Breath, or for the Concoction of one bit of all thy Food, or the continuance of thy life one hour; ſuppoſing but thy care to uſe the means which God appointed thee, and to avoid things hurtful, and to beg his Bleſſing. The command of being careful for nothing, and caſting all thy care on God, who careth for us, obligeth us in all things that are God's part; and for our Souls as well as for our Bodies: Yea, to Truſt him with the greateſt of our concerns, is our greateſt duty; ſuppoſing we be careful about our own part, viz. to uſe the means and obey his Precepts. To diſpoſe of a departing Soul is God's part and not ours! O how much evil is in this diſtruſtful ſelf-providing Care! If I did but know what I would know about my Soul and my Self; and if I might but chooſe what condition it ſhould be in, and be the final diſpoſer of it my Self, O what ſatisfaction and joy would it afford me? And is not this to be partly a God to my ſelf? Is he not fitter to know and chooſe, and diſpoſe of me, than I am? I could Truſt my ſelf eaſily, even my Wit and Will in ſuch a Choice, if I had but power. And cannot I truſt God and my Redeemer, without all this care, and fear, and trouble, and all theſe particular enquiries? If you are convoying your Child in a Boat, or Coach, by Water, or by Land, and at every turn he be crying out [O Father, whither do we go? Or what ſhall I do? or I ſhall be drowned or fall;] Is it not rather his Truſt in you, than the particular p. 219ſatisfaction of his ignorant doubts, that muſt quiet and ſilence him? Be not then fooliſhly diſtruſtful and inquiſitive? Make not thy ſelf thy own diſquieter or tormentor▪ by an inordinate care of thy own ſecurity. Be not caſt down, O departing Soul, nor by unbelief diſquieted within me: Truſt in God, for thou ſhalt quickly by experience be taught to give him thanks and praiſe, who is the health of my countenance and my God.

§ 14. O what clear reaſon! What great experience do command me to Truſt him? abſolutely and implicitly to Truſt him, and to diſtruſt my ſelf.

1. He is Eſſential Infinite Perfection, Power, Wiſdom and Love? There is in him all that ſhould invite and encourage rational truſt, and nothing that ſhould diſcourage it.

2. There is nothing in any Creature to be truſted, but God in that Creature, or God working in and by it. Diſtruſt him and there is nothing to be truſted: Not the Earth to bear me, nor the Air to breath in, much leſs any mutable Friend.

3. I am altogether his Own: His Own by right, and his own by devotion and conſent: And ſhall I not truſt him with his own.

4. He is the great Benefactor of all the World, that giveth all good to every Creature, not by conſtraint, nor by commutation, but as freely as the Sun giveth forth its light: And ſhall we not truſt the Sun to ſhine?

5. He is my Father and ſpecial Benefactor; and hath taken me into his Family as his Child: And ſhall I not truſt my heavenly Father?

6. He hath given me his Son as the great Pledge of his Love: And what then will he think too dear for me? Will he not with him give me all things, Rom. 8.

p. 2207. His Son came purpoſely to reveal the Fathers unſpeakable Love, and purpoſe to ſave us: And ſhall I not truſt him that hath proclaimed his Love and Reconciliation by ſuch a Meſſenger from Heaven.

8. He hath given me the Spirit of his Son, even the Spirit of Adoption, which is the ſureſt Character of his Child, the Witneſs, Pledge, and Earneſt of Heaven, the Name, and Mark of God upon me, HOLINESS TO THE LORD; and yet ſhall I not believe his Love and Truſt him?

9. He hath made me a Member of his Son, and ſo far already united me to him: And will he not take care of the Members of his Son? Will he loſe thoſe that are given him? Is not Chriſt to be truſted with his Members.

10. I am his intereſt and the intereſt of his Son: Freely beloved; dearly bought! For whom ſo much is ſuffered and done, that he is pleaſed to call us his peculiar Treaſure. And may I not truſt him with his dear bought Treaſure.

11. He hath ſtated me in a relation to Angels, who rejoiced at my Repentance, and to the heavenly Society which ſhall not miſs the ſmalleſt part: Angels ſhall not loſe their joy, nor miniſtration.

12. He is in Covenant with me; even the Father, Son, and Holy Ghoſt: He hath given me many great and precious Promiſes: And ſhall I fear leſt he will break his Word or Covenant?

13. My Saviour is the forerunner, entred into the Holieſt, and there appearing and interceeding for me: And this after he had conquered Death, and riſen again to aſſure me of a future life, and aſcended into Heaven to ſhew us whither we muſt aſcend; and that after theſe comfortable words, SAY TO MY BRETHREN, I ASCEND TO MY FATHER AND YOUR FATHER, p. 221TO MY GOD AND YOUR GOD, Joh. 20. 17. And ſhall I not follow him through Death, and truſt ſuch a Guide and Captain of my Salvation?

14. He is there to prepare a place for me, and will take me to himſelf? And may I not confidently expect it.

15. He told a Malefactor on the Croſs, that he ſhould that day be with him in Paradiſe, to tell believing Sinners what they may expect.

16. The Church by the Article of his Deſcent into Hell, hath ſignified their common belief, that his ſeparated Soul, had its ſubſiſtence and operation, and did not ſleep or periſh, to tell us the Immortality of ſeparated Souls.

17. His Apoſtles and other Servants have on earth ſerved him all with theſe expectations.

18. The Spirits of the perfected Juſt are now in poſſeſſion of what I hope for! And I am a follower of them who by Faith and Patience have attained the promiſed Felicity! And may I not truſt him to ſave me who hath already ſaved Millions in this way? When I could truſt a Ferriman to paſs me over a River, that had ſafely paſſed over Thouſands before me: Or I could truſt a Phyſician who cureth all that he undertaketh of the ſame Diſeaſe.

19. I muſt be at his diſpoſal whether I will or not: I ſhall live while he will, and die when he will, and go whither he will: I may ſin and vex my Soul with fears, and cares, and ſorrows, but I ſhall never prevail againſt his will.

20. Therefore there is no Reſt for Souls but in the Will of God: That will created us, and that will did govern us, and that will ſhall be fulfilled on us. It was our Efficient and our Regent Cauſe, and it ſhall be our p. 222End. Where elſe is it that we ſhould reſt? In the will of men, or Angels, or in our own wills? All Creatures are but Creatures: And our own Wills have undone us: They have miſgoverned us, and they are our greateſt Enemies; our Diſeaſe, our Priſon, and our Death, till they are brought over to the will of God: Till then they are like a Foot out of joint; like a Child or Subject in Rebellion! There is no rectitude or health, no order, no peace or true felicity, but in the Conformity of our wills to the will of God. And ſhall I die in diſtruſtful ſtriving againſt his will, and deſiring to keep up my own before it.

21. What abundant experience have I had of God's fidelity and love? and after all this ſhall I not truſt him? His undeſerved Mercy gave me being, it choſe my Parents; it gave them a tender love to me, and deſire of my good; it taught them to inſtruct me early in his Word, and to Educate me in his fear: It choſe me ſuitable Company and Habitation: It gave me betimes a teachable ingeny: It choſe my School-maſters: It brought to my Hands many excellent and ſuitable Books: It gave me ſome profitable publick Teachers: It placed me in the beſt of Lands on Earth; and I think in the beſt of Ages which that Land had ſeen: It did early deſtroy all great expectations and deſires of the World, teaching me to bear the Yoak from my youth, and cauſing me rather to groan under my infirmities, than to fight with ſtrong and potent Luſts: It chaſtened me betimes, but did not deſtroy me. Great Mercy hath trained me up all my daies, ſince I was Nineteen years of Age, in the School of Affliction, to keep my ſluggiſh Soul awake in the conſtant expectations of my change, and to kill my Pride, and overvaluing of this World, and to lead all p. 223my ſtudies to the moſt neceſſary things, and as a Spur to excite my Soul to ſeriouſneſs, and eſpecially to ſave me from the ſupine neglect and loſs of time: O what unſpeakable Mercy hath a life of conſtant but gentle Chaſtiſement proved to me? It urged me againſt all dull delays, to make my Calling and Election ſure, and to make ready my accounts as one that muſt quickly give them up to God. The Face of Death, and nearneſs of Eternity, did much convince me, what Books to read, what ſtudies to perfer and proſecute, what Company and Converſation to chooſe! It drove me early into the Vineyard of the Lord; and taught me to preach as a dying Man to dying men: It was Divine Love and Mercy which made Sacred Truth, ſo pleaſant to me, that my life hath been (under all my infirmities) almoſt a conſtant recreation and delight, in its diſcoveries, contemplation, and practical uſe: How happy a Teacher have I had? What excellent help, and ſweet illumination? How far beyond my expectation hath Divine Mercy encouraged me in his Sacred work? How congruouſly did he chooſe every place of my Miniſtration, and Habitation to this day, without my own forecaſt or ſeeking? When and where ſince he firſt ſent me forth, did I labour in vain? How many are gone to Heaven, and how many are in the way, to whom he hath bleſſed the Word which in weakneſs I did by his Grace and Providence deliver? Many good Chriſtians are glad of now and then an Hours time, to meditate on God's Word, and recreate themſelves in his holy worſhip; but God hath allowed and called me, to make it the conſtant buſineſs of my life. My Library hath afforded me both profitable and pleaſant company and help, at all times, when ever I would uſe them. I have dwelt among the ſhining p. 224Lights, which the Learned, Wiſe, and Holy men of all Ages have ſet up, and left to illuminate the World. How many comfortable Hours have I had in the Society of living Saints, and in the love of faithful Friends? How many joyful Daies have I had in the ſolemn Aſſemblies, where God hath been worſhipped with ſeriouſneſs and alacrity, by concordant though imperfect Saints. Where the Spirit of Chriſt hath manifeſted his preſence, by helping my ſelf and my Brethren in ſpeaking, and the People in ready delightful hearing, and all of us in loving and gladly receiving his Doctrine, Covenant and Laws? How unworthy was ſuch a ſinful Worm as I (who never had any Academical helps, nor much from the Mouth of any Teacher) that Books ſhould become ſo great a Bleſſing to me, and that quite beyond my own intentions, God ſhould induce or conſtrain me to provide any ſuch like helps for others? How unworthy was I to be kept from the multiplied ſnares of Sects and Errours which reigned in this Age, and to be uſed as a means for other mens preſervation and reduction: And to be kept in a love of Unity and Peace: How unworthy was I that God ſhould make known to me ſo much of his reconciling truth, while extreams did round about prevail, and were commended to the Churches by the advantages of Piety on one ſide, and of worldly Proſperity and Power on the other? And the God ſhould uſe me above thirty Years in ſo comfortable a work as to plead and write for Love, Peace and Concord, and to vouchſafe me ſo much ſucceſs therein as he hath done, notwithſtanding the general prevalency of the contentious military Tribe. Mercy I have had in Peace, and Liberty in times of Violence: And Mercy I have had in Wars, living two years in ſafety in a City of defence in the very midſt of the Land, (Coventry,) and ſeeing p. 225no enemy while the Kingdom was in Wars and Flames; and only hearing of the common Calamities round about: And when I went abroad and ſaw the effects of humane folly and fury, and of God's diſpleaſure, he mercifully kept me from hurting any one, and being hurt by any: How many a time hath he preſerved me by Day and Night, in difficulties and dangers, from the Malice of Satan, and from the Wrath of Man, and from accidents which threatned ſudden Death: While I beheld the ruines of Towns and Countreys, and the Fields covered with the Carkaſſes of the ſlain, I was preſerved and returned home in Peace. And O how great was the mercy which he ſhewed me, in a teachable tractable, peaceable, humble, unanimous People? So many in number, and ſo exemplary in quality; who to this Day keep their Integrity and Concord, when violence hath ſeparated me from them Twenty two years: Yea, the like Mercy of acceptance and ſucceſs beyond my expectation, he hath ſhewed me every where I have had opportunity of free miniſtration; even where there were many Adverſaries I have had an open Door, in the midſt of humane Wrath and Rage, he hath preſerved my Liberty beyond expectation, and continued my acceptance and ſucceſs. When I might not ſpeak by Voice to any ſingle Congregation, he enabled me to ſpeak by Writings to many; and for the ſucceſs of my plaineſt & popular writings, which coſt me leaſt, I can never be ſufficiently thankful: Some of which he ſent to preach abroad in other Languages in forreign Lands. When my Mouth with Eighteen hundred or Two thouſands more had been many years ſtopped, he hath ſince opened them in ſome degree; and the ſufferings intended us by men have been partly put by, and partly much alleviated by his Providence, and the hardneſs of our Terms hath not ſo much hind…ed the ſucceſs of faithful Labours as we p. 226feared, and as others hoped it would have done. I have had the comfort of ſeeing ſome Peace and Concord and Proſperity of Truth and Piety kept up, under the utmoſt oppoſition of diabolical and humane Power, Policy, and Wrath: When I have been ſent to the common Jail for my ſervice and obedience to him, he hath there kept me in peace, and ſoon delivered me. He hath made the Mouths of my greateſt Enemies who have ſtudied my defamation and my ruine, to become my Witneſſes and Compurgators, and to croſs their own deſigns: How wonderful is it that I ſhould ſo long dwell in ſo much peace, in the midſt of thoſe that ſeemed to want neither Power nor Skill, and much leſs Will, to tread me down into contempt and miſery? And O how many a danger, fear and pain hath he delivered this frail and languiſhing Body from? How oft hath he ſuccoured me, when Fleſh, and Heart, and Art have failed? He hath cured my conſuming Coughs, and many a time ſtayed my flowing Blood; he hath eaſed my pained Limbs, and ſupport'd a weary macerat'd Skeleton: He hath fetcht me up from the Jaws of Death, and reverſed the Sentence which men have paſſed on me: How many Thouſand weary days have been ſweetned with his pleaſant work? And how many Thouſand painful weary Nights have had a comfortable Morning? How many Thouſand ſtrong and healthful Perſons have been taken away by Death, whilſt I have been upheld under all this weakneſs? Many a time have I cryed to the Lord in my trouble and he hath delivered me out of my diſtreſs? I have had Forty years added to my Daies, ſince I would have been full glad of Hezekiah's promiſe of Fifteen? Since the day that I firſt preached his Goſpel, I expected not of long time to live above a Year; and I have lived ſince then Forty years; when my own p. 227Prayers were cold and unbelieving how many Hundreds have prayed for me: And what ſtrange deliverances, encouraging Faſting and Prayer have I oft had, upon their importunate requeſts? My Friends have been faithful, and the few that proved unfaithful have profitably taught me, to place no confidence in Man, and and not to be inordinately affected to any thing on Earth; for I was forſaken by none of them, but thoſe few that I exceſſively valued and overloved: My Relations have been comfortable to me, contrary to my deſerts, and much beyond my expectations: My Servants have been faithful: My Neighbours have been kind: My Enemies have been impotent, harmleſs or profitable: My Superiours have honoured me by their reſpectful words, and while they have afflicted me, as ſuppoſing me a remora to their deſigns, they have not deſtroyed, but protected me! To my inferiours God hath made me in my low capacity ſomwhat helpful? I have been protected in ordinary health and ſafety, when the raging Peſtilence came near my Habitation, and conſumed an Hundred thouſand Citizens! My dwelling hath been ſafe when I have ſeen the glory of the Land in flames, and after beheld the diſmal ruines! When violence ſeparated me from my too much beloved Library, and drove me into a poor and ſmoaky Houſe, I never had more help of God, nor did more difficult work than there! What pleaſant retirements and quietneſs in the Countrey have been the fruits of perſecuting Wrath? And I muſt not forget, when I had more publick liberty, how he ſaved me and all my Hearers, even by a wonder from being buried in the ruines of the Fabrick where we were; and others from the Calamitous, Scandal, and Lamentations, which would elſe have followed: And it is not a Mercy to be extenuated, that when the Tongues and p. 228Pens of all Sects among us, and of pro…d ſelf-exalters, and of ſome worthy Pious differing Brethren, have been long and vehemently bent againſt me, when my infamy hath been endeavoured by abundance of Volumes by the backbiting of angry dividers of all ſorts, and by the calumniating accuſations of ſome that were too high to be gain-ſaid, and would not endure me to anſwer them and vindicate my innocency; yet, all theſe together were never able to faſten their accuſations, and procure any common belief, nor to bring me under the deſigned contempt, much leſs to break my comforts, encouragements or labours.

Theſe, all theſe, and very many more than theſe, are my Experiences of that wondrous MERCY which hath meaſured my Pilgrimage, and filled up my daies. Never did God break his Promiſe with me! Never did he fail me nor forſake me: Had I not provoked him by raſh and wilful ſinning, how little Interruption of my peace and comforts, had I ever been likely to have had. And ſhall I now diſtruſt him at the laſt? Shall I not Truſt, and quietly Truſt, that Infinite Wiſdom, Love, and Power, whom I have ſo long truſted, and found ſo good?

Nature teacheth Man to love beſt thoſe Animals that are tame and tractable, that truſt us and love us, that will come to our hands and love our Company, that will be familiar with us and follow us; be it Horſe or Dog, Beaſts or Birds: But thoſe that are wild and live in Woods, and fly from the Face of Man, are taken to be the Game and Preys of any one that can catch and kill them. And ſhall my fooliſh Soul thus wildly fly from the Face of God? Shall his Children be like the fearful Hare? Or like a guilty Cain? Or like an unbelieving Sadduce, that either believeth not, or hopeth not for, the forgiveneſs of ſin, and the life Everlaſting? Doth not the Spirit of Adoption incline p. 229us to love our Fathers preſence, and to be loth to be long from home? To diſtruſt all Creatures, even thy ſelf, is not unreaſonable; but to diſtruſt God hath no juſt excuſe. Fly from Sin, from Satan, from Temptations, from the World, from ſinful Fleſh and Idol-ſelf: But fly not from him that is Goodneſs, Love and Joy itſelf: Fear thine Enemy, but Truſt thy Father: If thy Heart be reconciled to Him and his Service, by the Spirit, he is certainly reconciled to thee through Chriſt▪ And if he be for thee, and juſtifie and love thee, who ſhall be againſt thee, or condemn thee, or ſeparate thee from his Love? If thy unreconciled will, do make thee doubt of his reconciliation, it's time to abhor and lay by thy Enmity: Conſent, and be ſure that he conſenteth: Be willing to be his, and in Holineſs to ſerve him, and to be united in joyful Glory to him, and then be ſure that he is willing to accept thee, and receive thee to that Glory. O dark and ſinful Soul! how little doſt thou know thy Friend, thy Self, or God, if thou canſt more eaſily and quietly truſt thy Life, thy Soul and Hopes to the will of thy Friend or of thy ſelf (if thou hadſt power) than to the will of God? Every Dog would be at home and with his Maſter; much more every ingenuous Child with his Father: And tho Enemies diſtruſt us, Wife and Children will not do ſo, while they b…lieve us juſt. And hath God ever ſhewed himſelf either unfaithful or unmerciful to me?

To thee, O Lord, as to a faithful Creator I commit my Soul, 1 Pet. 4. 19. I know that thou art the faithful God who keepeſt Covenant and Mercy with them that love thee, and keep thy Commandments, Deut. 7. 9. Thou art faithful who haſt called me to the communion of thy Son Jeſus Chriſt our Lord, 1 Cor. 1. 9. Thy faithfulneſs hath ſaved me in and from temptation, 1 Cor. 10. 13. It hath ſtabliſhed me and p. 230kept me from prevailing evil, 2 Theſſ. 3. 3. And if will keep my Spirit, Soul and Body to the coming of Chriſt, 1 Theſſ. 5. 23, 24. It is in faithfulneſs that thou haſt afflicted me, Pſ. 119. 75. and ſhall not I truſt thee then to ſave me? It is thy faithful Word, that all thine Elect ſhall obtain the Salvation which is in Chriſt Jeſus with eternal Glory, and if we be dead with him, ſhall live with him and if we ſuffer we ſhall alſo reign with him, 2 Tim. 2. 10, 11, 12.

To thee, O my Saviour I commit my Soul; it is thine own by Redemption; it is thine own by Covenant? It is marked and Sealed by thy Spirit as thine own: and thou haſt promiſed not to loſe it, Joh. 6. 39. Thou waſt made like us thy Brethren, that thou mighteſt be a merciful and faithful High Prieſt in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for our Sins: By thy Blood we have boldneſs to enter into the Holieſt, even by the new and living conſecrated way! Cauſe me to draw near with a ſincere Heart, in full aſſurance of Faith, by thee that art the High Prieſt over the Houſe of God: For he is faithful that has promiſed life through thee, Heb. 10. 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. Thy Name is Faithful and True, Rev. 19. 11. and Faithful and True are all thy Promiſes, Rev. 22. 6. & 21. 5. Thou haſt promiſed Reſt to weary Souls that come to thee, Matth. 11. 28. 2 Theſſ. 1. 7. I am weary of ſuffering and weary of ſin; weary of my fleſh, and weary of my darkneſs, and dulneſs, and diſtance, and of this wicked blind, unrighteous, and confounded World! And whither ſhould I look for Reſt but home to my heavenly Father and to Thee? I am but a bruiſed Reed, but thou wilt not break me: I am but a ſmoaking Flax, but thou wilt not quench what thy Grace hath kindled; but thou in whoſe Name the Nations truſt, wilt bring forth judgment unto p. 231Victory, Matth. 12. 20, 21. The Lord redeemeth the Souls of his Servants, and none of them that truſt in thee ſhall be deſolate, Pſa. 34. 22. Therefore will I wait on thy Name, for it is good, and will truſt in the Mercy of God for ever, Pſal. 52. 8, 9. The Lord is Good; a ſtrong-hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that truſt in him, Nah. 1. 7. ſinful fear is a ſnare; but he that putteth his truſt in the Lord ſhall be ſet on high, Prov. 29. 25. Bleſſed is the Man that maketh the Lord his truſt, and reſpecteth not the Proud and ſuch as turn aſide to lies, Pſal. 40. 4. Thou art my hope, O Lord God, thou art my truſt from my youth…: By thee have I been holden up from the Womb, my praiſe ſhall be continually of thee: Caſt me not off now in the time of Age; forſake me not when my ſtrength faileth, O God, thou haſt taught me from my youth, and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works: Now alſo when I am old and gray, O God, forſake me not, Pſal. 17. 5, 6, 9, 17, 18. Leave not my Soul deſtitute; for mine Eyes are toward thee, & my truſt is in thee, Pſa. 14. 8. I had fainted unleſs I had believed to ſee the goodneſs of the Lord in the Land of the Living: Even where they that live ſhall die no more. The Sun may ceaſe to ſhine on Man, and the Earth to bear us; but God will never ceaſe to be Love, nor to be faithful in his Promiſes. Bleſſed be the Lord, who hath commanded me ſo ſafe and quietting a duty, as to truſt him, and caſt all my cares on him, as on one that hath promiſed to care for me!

11. And bleſſed be God who hath made it my Duty to HOPE for his Salvation: HOPE is the Eaſe, yea, the life of our Hearts that elſe would break, yea, die within us. Deſpair is no ſmall part of Hell. God cheriſheth Hope as he is the lover of Souls: Satan our Enemy cheriſheth Deſpair, when his way of blind Preſumption faileth. As Fear is a p. 232foretaſt of Evil, before it is felt; ſo Hope doth anticipate and foretaſt Salvation before it is poſſeſſed. It is then worldly Hypocrites Hope that periſheth, for all that Hope for true or durable Happineſs on Earth, in the pleaſures of this periſhing Fleſh, muſt needs be deceived. But happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whoſe Hope is in the Lord his God, which made Heaven and Earth, which keepeth Truth for ever, Pſ. 146. 5, 6. Wo to me, were my Hope only in the time and matters of this fleſhly life, 1 Cor. 15. 19. But the Righteous hath hope in his Death, Prov. 14 32. And Hope maketh not aſhamed, Rom. 5. 5. Bleſſed is the Man that truſteth in the Lord, whoſe Hope the Lord is, Jer. 17. 7. Lay hold then, O my Soul, upon the Hope which is ſet before thee, Heb. 6. 18. It is thy firm and ſtedfaſt Anchor, v. 19. without it thou wilt be as a ſhipwrackt Veſſel. Thy foundation is ſure; it is God himſelf: Our Faith and Hope are both in God, 1 Pet. 1. 21. It is Jeſus our Lord who is riſen from the Dead, and Reigneth in Glory Lord of all, 1 Tim. 1. 1. Yea it is the Chriſt who by Faith doth dwell within us, who is our Hope of Glory, Eph. 3. 17. Col. 1. 27. In this Hope which is better than the Law that Moſes gave, it is that we draw nigh to God, Heb. 7. 19. It is the Holy Ghoſt that is both our Evidence and the Efficient of our Hope, Gal. 5. 5. Rom. 8. 16, 23. By him we hope for that which we ſee not, and therefore wait in Patience for it. v. 24, 25. By Hope we are ſaved: It is an encouraging Grace, which will make us ſtir, when as deſpair doth kill endeavours: It cureth ſloth, and makes us diligent and conſtant to the end, and by this doth help us to full aſſurance, Heb. 6. 11, 12. It is a deſiring Grace, and would fain obtain the Glory hoped for. It is a quieting and comforting Grace, Rom. 15. 4. The God of Hope doth fill us p. 233with Joy and Peace in believing that we may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Ghoſt, v. 13. Shake off deſpondency, O my Soul, and rejoice in hope of the Glory of God. Rom. 5. 2. Believe in Hope, though dying Fleſh would tell thee that it is againſt Hope, Rom. 4. 18. God that cannot lie, hath confirmed his Covenant by his immutable Oath, that we might have ſtrong conſolation who are fled for refuge to the Hope which is ſet before us, Heb. 6. 18. What bleſſed preparations are made for our Hope? And ſhall we now let the Tempter ſhake it or diſcourage it? The abundant Mercy of God the Father hath begotten us again to a lively hope, by the Reſurrection of Chriſt, to an Inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away reſerved in Heaven for us, 1 Pet. 1. 3. Grace teacheth us to deny ungodlineſs and worldly Luſts, and to live ſoberly, righteouſly, and godly in this World, as looking for that bleſſed hope, and the glorious appearing of the Great God and our Saviour, Tit. 2. 12, 13. We are renewed by the Holy Ghoſt and juſtified by Grace, that we ſhould be made Heirs according to the hope of Eternal life, Tit. 3. 6, 7. We are illuminated that we may know the hope of Chriſt's calling, and what is the riches of the Glory of his Inheritance in the Saints, Eph. 1. 18, 19. The Hope that is laid up for us in Heaven, is the chief Doctrine of the Goſpel, which bringeth Life and Immortality into clearer Light, Col. 1. 5. 2 Tim. 1. 10. It is for this hope that we keep a Conſcience void of offence, and that God is ſerved in the World, Act. 24. 15, 16. & 26. 7. wherefore gird up the loins of thy Mind: put on this Helmet, the hope of Salvation, 1 Theſ. 5. 8. and let not Death ſeem to thee as it doth to them that have no hope, 1 Theſſ. 4. 13. The love of our Father and our Saviour have given us p. 234everlaſting Conſolation, and good hope through Grace… to comfort our Hearts and ſtabliſh them in every good word and work, 2 Theſſ. 2. 16, 17. Keep therefore the rejoicing of Hope firm to the end, Heb. 3. 6. continue grounded and ſettled in the Faith, and be not moved away from the hope of the Goſpel, Col. 1. 23. 1 Pet. 1. 13. And now Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee, Pſal. 39. 7. Uphold me according to thy Word, that I may live, and let me not be aſhamed of my Hope, Pſal. 119. 116. Though mine Iniquities teſtifie againſt me, yet O thou that art the hope of of Iſrael, the Saviour thereof in time of trouble, be not as a ſtranger to my Soul (Jer. 14. 7, 8.) Thy Name is called upon by me, O forſake me not, v. 9. Why have our Eyes beheld thy Wonders, and why have we had thy Covenant and thy Mercies, but that we might ſet our hope in God, Pſal. 78. 5, 7. Remember the Word to thy Servant, upon which thou haſt cauſed me to hope. Pſal. 119. 49. If thou Lord ſhouldſt mark Iniquity, O Lord, who ſhould ſtand? But there is forgiveneſs with thee, that thou maiſt be feared: I wait for the Lord; my Soul doth wait, and in his Word do I hope: I will hope in the Lord, for with him there is Mercy and plenteous Redemption, Pſal. 130. 3, 4, 5, 7. For he taketh pleaſure in them that fear him, in thoſe that hope in his Mercy, Pſal. 147. 11. Though Fleſh and Heart fail, the Lord is the Rock of my Heart; he is my Portion, ſaith my Soul, therefore will I hope in him: The Lord is good to them that wait for him; to the Soul that ſeeketh him: It is good that I ſhould both hope, and quietly wait for the Salvation of the Lord: It is good for me that I have born the Yoak in my Youth, and that I keep ſilence and put my Mouth in the Duſt, if ſo be there may be p. 235hope, Pſal. 73. 26. Lam. 3. 24, 25, 26, 27, 29.

God need not flatter ſuch Worms as we, nor promiſe us that which he never meaneth to perform: He hath laid the rudiments of our hope, in a nature capable of deſiring, ſeeking, and thinking of another life: He hath called me by Grace, to actual deſires and endeavours: And ſome foretaſts he hath vouchſafed: I look for no Heaven, but the Perfection of Divine Life, Light, and Love in endleſs Glory with Chriſt and his holy Ones: And this he hath begun in me already: And ſhall I not boldly hope when I have the capacity, the promiſe, and the earneſt and foretaſt? Is it not God himſelf that hath cauſed me to hope; was not Nature, Promiſe, and Grace from him? And can a Soul miſcarry and be deceived, that departeth hence in a hope of God's own cauſing and encouraging? Lord, I have lived in hope? I have prayed in hope: I have laboured, ſuffered and waited in hope: And by thy Grace I will die in hope? And is not this according to thy Word and Will? And wilt thou caſt away a Soul that hopeth in thee, by thine own Command and Operation▪ Had Wealth and Honour, or continuance on Earth, or the favour of Man, been my reward & hope, my hope & I had died together: Were this our beſt, how vain were Man? But the Lord liveth, and my Redeemer is glorified and interceedeth for me! And the ſame Spirit is in Heaven, who is in my Heart; (As the ſame Sun is in the Firmament which is in my Houſe:) And the Promiſe is ſure to all Chriſt's Seed: And Millions are now in Heaven, that once did live and die in hope; they were Sinners once as now I am: They had no other Saviour, no other Sanctifier, no other Promiſe than I now have, confeſſing that they were Strangers here, they looked for a better Countrey, and for a City that had Foundations, p. 236even a heavenly where now they are: And ſhall I not follow them in hope that have ſped ſo well? Hope then O my Soul unto the end, 1 Pet. 1. 13. From henceforth and for ever hope in the Lord, Pſal. 131. 13. I will hope continually, and will yet praiſe thee more and more; my Mouth ſhall ſhew forth thy Righteouſneſs and Salvation, Pſal. 71. 14, 15. The Lord is at my right Hand; I ſhall not be moved: My Heart therefore is glad, and my glory rejoiceth; my Fleſh alſo ſhall dwell confidently and reſt in hope; for God hath ſhewed me the path of Life; in his preſence is fulneſs of joy, and at his right Hand are pleaſures for evermore, Pſal. 16. 8, 9, 10, 11.

III. What then remaineth, O my Soul, but that in TRUST and HOPE thou LOVE thy God, thy Saviour, thy Comforter, the Glorious Society, thy own Perfection in Glorious, Endleſs, Heavenly Life, and Light, and Love, and the Joyful Praiſes of Jehovah, better then this burden of painful and corruptible Fleſh, and this howling Wilderneſs, the Habitation of Serpents and untamed Bruits, where unbelief and murmuring, Luſt and Folly, Injuſtice and Uncharitableneſs, Tyranny and Diviſions, Pride and Contention, have long provoked God, and wearied thee? Where the Vintage and Harveſt is Thorns and Thiſtles, Sin and Sorrows, Cares and Croſſes, manured by manifold Temptations! How odious is that darkneſs and unbelief, that unholineſs and diſaffection, that deadneſs and ſtupidity, which maketh ſuch a work as this, ſo reaſonable, neceſſary, and pleaſant a work, to ſeem unſuitable or hard! Is it unſuitable or hard to the Eye to ſee the Sun and Light? Or by it to ſee the beautified World? Or for a Man to love his Life or Health; his Father or his Friend? What ſhould be eaſier to a Nature that hath rational p. 237LOVE, than to Love him, that is Eſſential LOVE itſelf: He that loveth all, and giveth to all the Loving faculty, ſhould be loved by all: And he that hath ſpecially loved me ſhould be ſpecially loved by me?

Love is the Perfection of all thy Preparations: It deſireth to Pleaſe God; and therefore to be in the moſt pleaſing ſtate, and freed from all that is diſpleaſing to him; which is not to be hoped for on Earth: It deſireth all ſuitable nearneſs, acquaintance, union and communion: It is weary of diſtance, eſtrangedneſs, and alien ſociety, and affairs: It taketh advantage of every notice, intimation, or mention of God, to renew and exerciſe theſe deſires: Every Meſſage, and Mercy from him is fewel for Love, and while we are ſhort of Perfection ſtir up our deſires after more! When Love taſteth of the Grapes it would have the Vine: When it taſteth of the Fruits it would dwell where they grow, and poſſeſs the Land! Its thoughts of Proximity and fruition are ſweet. No other Perſon or Thing can ſatisfie it. The Soul is where it loveth: If our Friend dwell in our Hearts by Love; and if fleſhly Pleaſure, Riches, and Honour, do dwell in the Heart of the Voluptuous, the Covetous, and the Proud, ſurely God and our Redeemer, the heavenly Society, Holineſs, and Glory, do dwell in the Heart which loveth them with a fervent Love! And if Heaven dwell in my Heart, ſhall I not deſire to dwell in Heaven? Light and Light, Fire and Fire are not more inclined to union then Love and Love; Gracious Love, and Glorious Love: Would Divine Original, Univerſal LOVE, communicate and pour out itſelf more plentifully upon my Heart, how eaſy would it be to leave this Fleſh and World? And to hear the Sentence of my departure to my God? Death and the Grave would be but a Triumph p. 238for victorious Love: It would be eaſier to die in Peace and Joy, than to reſt at Night, or to come home from my Travel to my beloved Friends, or to go when I am hungry to a Feaſt: A Little Love hath made me ſtudy willingly, and preach willingly, and write willingly, yea, and ſuffer ſomwhat willingly; and would not more make me go more willingly to God? Shall the imagination of Houſe, Gardens, Walks, Libraries, Proſpects, Meadows, Orchards, Hills, and Rivers, allure the deſires of deceived Minds? And ſhall not the Thoughts of the heavenly Manſions, Society and Delights, much more allure and draw up my deſires? The reading of a known Fiction of a Civitas Solis, an Utopia, an Atlantis, &c. hath pleaſed many: But if I did believingly hear of ſuch a Countrey in the World, where men did never die, nor were ſick, or weak or ſad, where the Prince were perfectly juſt and pious, wiſe and peaceable, devoted to God and the publick good; and the Teachers were all wiſe judicious men, of Univerſal certain knowledge, perfectly acquainted with the Matter and Method of Natural and Theological Truths, and all their duty, and all of one Mind, and of one Heart, and Tongue and Practice; loving each other, and the People as themſelves, and leading the Flocks heavenward through all temptations, with triumphant hopes and joy; where all the People perfectly obeyed God, their Commanders and their Teachers, and lived in perfect Love, Unity, and Peace, and were daily employed in the joyful praiſes of God and hopes of Glory, and in doing all poſſible good to one another, contending with none through ignorance, uncharitableneſs or pride, nor ever reproaching injuring or hurting one another, &c. I ſay, if I knew or heard of ſuch a Countrey, ſhould I not p. 239love it before I ever ſee it, and earneſtly deſire to be there? Nay, do I not over-love this diſtracted World, where Tyranny ſheddeth ſtreams of Blood, and layeth deſolate Cities and Countries, and expoſeth the miſerable Inhabitants to lamentable Diſtreſs and Famine; where the ſame Tyranny ſets up the Wicked, reproacheth and oppreſſeth the Juſt and Innocent, keepeth out the Goſpel, and keepeth up Idolatry, Infidelity, and Wickedneſs in the far greateſt part of all the Earth; where Satan chooſeth Paſtors too often for the Churches of Chriſt, even ſuch as by Ignorance, Pride, Senſuality, Worldlineſs, and Malignity, become Thorns and Thiſtles, yea, devouring Wolves, to thoſe whom they ſhould feed and comfort; where no two Perſons are in all things of a Mind; where Evil is commended, and Truth, and Goodneſs accuſed and oppreſſed, becauſe mens Minds are unacquainted with them or unſuitable to them: And thoſe that are the greateſt pretenders to Truth, do moſt eagerly contend againſt it and oppoſe it; and almoſt all the World are ſcolding or ſcuffling in the Dark: And where there appeareth but little hopes of a remedy: I ſay, can I love ſuch a World as this? And ſhall I not think more delightfully of the Inheritance of the Saints in Light, and the uniting Love and joyful praiſes of the Church triumphant and the heavenly Chore?

Should I not love a Lovely and a Loving World much better than a World where there is comparatively … little Lovelineſs or Love? All that is of God is Good and Lovely: But it is not here that his Glory ſhineth in felicitating Splendor: I am taught to look upward when I pray, and to ſay, Our Father which art in Heaven: God's works are amiable even in Hell; and yet though I would know them, I would not be there: p. 240And, alas, how much of the works of Man, are mixed here with the works of God? Here is God's Wiſdom manifeſt; but here is Man's obſtinate folly: Here is God's Government; but here is Mans Tyranny and Unrulineſs: Here is God's Love and Mercies; but here are m…ns Malice, Wrath and Cruelty, by which they are worſe to one another than Wolves or Tigers, depopulating Countries, and filling the World with Bloodſhed, Famine, Miſery, and Lamentations; proud Tyrants being worſe than raging Plagues; (which made David chooſe the Peſtilence before his Enemies purſuit:) Here is much of God's beauteous order, and harmony: But here is alſo much of Man's madneſs, deformity and confuſion. Here is much hiſtorical Truth, and ſome Civil and Eccleſiaſtick Juſtice; but, alas, with how much odious falſehood, and injuſtice is it mixed? Here is much precious Theological Verity: But how dark is much of it to ſuch blind and negligent and corrupted minds, as every where abound: Here are wiſe judicious Teachers and Companions to be found; but, alas, how few in compariſon of the moſt? And how hardly known by thoſe that need them? Here are Sound and Orthodox Miniſters of Chriſt: But how few that moſt need them know which are they, and how to value them or uſe them? And how many Thouſands of ſeduced or ſenſual Sinners are made believe that they are but Deceivers, or as they called Paul, peſtilent fellows, and movers of Sedition among the People: And in how many parts of the World are they as the Prophets that Obadiah hid in Caves, or as Micatah, or Elias among the Lying Prophets, or the Baalites? Though ſuch as of whom the World is not worthy. (And is that World then more worthy of any love than Heaven?) There p. 241are Worthy and Religious Families which honour God, and are honoured by him: But, alas, how few? And uſually by the temptations of Wealth and Worldly Intereſt, how full even of the ſins of Sodom, Pride, Fulneſs of Bread, and abundance of Idleneſs, if not alſo Unmercifulneſs to the Poor: And how are they tempted to plead for their ſins and ſnares, and account it ruſtick Ignorance which contradicteth them: And how few Pious Families are there of the greater ſort that do not quickly degenerate, and Poſterity by falſe Religion, Errour or Senſuality, grow moſt contrary to the minds of their Pious Progenitors? There are many that educate their Children wiſely in the fear of God, and have accordingly comfort in them: But how many are there that having devoted them in Baptiſm to God, do train them up in the ſervice of the Fleſh, the World, and the Devil, which they renounced, and never underſtood, or at leaſt intended, for themſelves, or Children, what they did profeſs: How many Parents think, that when they offer their Children to God in Baptiſm without a ſober and due conſideration of the nature and meaning of that great Covenant with God, that God muſt accept and certainly regenerate and ſave them? Yea, too many Religious Parents forget, that they themſelves are Sponſors in that Covenant, and undertake to uſe the means on their part, to make their Children ſit for the Grace of the son, and the Communion of the Spirit, as they grow up, and think God ſhould abſolutely ſanctifie, keep and ſave them at Age, becauſe they are theirs and were Baptized, though they keep them not from great and unneceſſary temptations, nor teach them plainly and ſeriouſly the meaning of the Covenant which was made for them with God as to the nature, benefits or conditions of it: How p. 242many ſend them to others to be taught in Grammar, Logick, Philoſophy, or Arts; yea, and Divinity, before their own Parents ever taught them, what they did with God in Baptiſm, what they received? And what they promiſed and vowed to do? They ſend them to Trades, or ſecular Callings, or to travel in forreign Lands, among a Multitude of Snares, among tempting Company, and tempting Baits, before ever at home they were inſtructed, armed, and ſettled againſt thoſe Temptations which they muſt needs encounter, and which if they overcome them, they are undone: How ordinarily when they have firſt neglected this great duty of their own for their fortification, do they plead a neceſſity of thruſting them out on theſe temptations, though utterly unarmed from ſome Punctilio of Honour or Conformity to the World, to avoid the Contempt of worldly men, or to adorn their (yet naked) Souls, with ſome of the Plumes or painted Trifles, Ceremonies or Complements, which will never ſerve inſtead of heavenly Wiſdom, Mortification, and the Love of God and Man: As if they were like to learn that fear of God in a croud of diverting and tempting Company, Baits and Buſineſs, which they never learnt under the teaching, nurture and daily overſight of their religious Parents in a ſafer ſtation: Or as if for ſome little reaſon they might ſend them as to Sea without Pilot or Anchor, and think that God muſt ſave them from the Waves: Or as if it were better to enter them into Satans School or Army, and venture them upon the notorious danger of Damnation, than miſs of Preferment and Wealth, or of the Faſhions and Favour of the Times? And then when they hear that they have forſaken God, and true Religion, and given up themſelves to Luſt and Senſuality, p. 243and perhaps as Enemies to God and good men, deſtroy what their Parents laboured to build up, theſe Parents wonder at God's Judgments, and with broken Hearts lament their infelicity, when it were better to lament their own miſdoing, and it had been beſt of all to have prevented it.

Thus Families, Churches and Kingdoms run on to blindneſs, ungodlineſs and confuſion: Self-undoing and ſerving the malice of Satan, for fleſhly Luſt, is the too common employment of Mankind: All is wiſe, and good, and ſweet which is preſcribed us by God, in true Nature or Supernatural revelation: But folly, ſin, and miſery, miſtaking themſelves to be Wit, and Honeſty, and Proſperity, and raging againſt that which nominally they pretend to and profeſs, are the ordinary caſe and courſe of the moſt of men: And when we would plead them out of their deceit and miſery, it's well if we are not tempted to imitate them, or be not partly infected with their Diſeaſe, or at leaſt reproached and oppreſſed as their Enemies: Such a Bedlam is moſt of the World become, where madneſs goeth for the only Wiſdom, and he is the braveſt Man that can ſin and be damned with reputation and renown, and ſucceſsfully drive or draw the greateſt number with him unto Hell: To which the World hath no ſmall likeneſs, forſaking God, and being very much forſaken by him.

This is the World which ſtandeth in competition for my Love, with the Spiritual bleſſed World: Much of God's Mercies and Comforts I have here had: But their ſweetneſs was their taſte of Divine Love, and their tendency to heavenly Perfection. What was the end and uſe of all the Good that ever I ſaw, or that ever God did for my Soul or Body, but to teach me to Love him, and to long for more? How many weaning p. 244experiences? How many Thouſand bitter or contemning Thoughts have I had of all the glory and pleaſures of this World? How many Thouſand love tokens from God have called me to believe and taſte his Goodneſs? Where ever I go, and which way ſoever I look, I ſee VANITY and VEXATION written upon all things in this World, ſo far as they ſtand in competition with God, and would be the end and portion of a fleſhly Mind: And I ſee HOLINESS TO THE LORD written upon every thing, ſo far as it declareth God and leadeth me to him as my ultimate end. God hath not for nothing engaged me in a War againſt this World, and commanded me to take and uſe it as mine Enemy: The emptineſs, dangerouſneſs, and bitterneſs of the World, and the All-ſufficiency, Truſtineſs, and Goodneſs of God have been the Summ of all the experiences of my life? And ſhall a worldly backward Heart overcome the teachings of Nature, Scripture, the Spirit of Grace, and all Experience? Far be it from me!

But, O my God, LOVE is thy great and ſpecial gift: All Good is from thee: But LOVE is the Godlike Nature, Life, and Image: It is given us from the Love of the Father, the Grace of the Son, and the quickning, illuminating and ſanctifying Operation of the Holy Spirit: What can the Earth return unto the Sun but its own reflected Beams? (If thoſe.) As how far ſoever Man is a Medium in Generation, Nature and that Appetite which is the moving pondus in the Child is thy work; ſo whatever is Man's part in the Mediate work of Believing and Repenting, (which yet is not done without thy Spirit and grace,) certainly it is the bleſſed Regenerator which muſt make us New Creatures by giving us this Divine Nature, holy LOVE, which is p. 245the holy Appetite and Pondus of the Soul. Come down, Lord, into this Heart, for it cannot come up to thee. Can the Plants for Life, or the Eye for Light, go up unto the Sun? Dwell in me by the Spirit of Love, and I ſhall dwell by Love in Thee. Reaſon is weak, and Thoughts are various, and Man will be a ſlippery uncertain Wight, if LOVE be not his fixing Principle, and do not incline his Soul to Thee! Surely through thy Grace I eaſily feel, that I love thy Word, I love thy Image, I love thy Work, and O how heartily do I Love to Love thee! And long to Know and Love thee more! And if all things be of Thee, and through Thee, and to Thee, ſurely this Love to the Beams of thy Glory here on Earth, is eminently ſo! It's Thee, Lord, that it meaneth! To Thee it looketh: It's Thee it ſerveth! For Thee it mourns, and ſeeks, and groans! In Thee it Truſteth! And the Hope, and Peace, and Comfort which ſupport me, are in Thee! When I was a returning Prodigal in rags, thou ſaweſt me afar off, and metteſt me with thy embracing, feaſting Love: And ſhall I doubt whether he that hath better cloathed me, and dwelt within me, will entertain me with a Feaſt of greater love in the heavenly Manſions, the World of Love?

The ſuitableneſs of things below to my fleſhly Nature, hath detained my affections too much on Earth! And ſhall not the ſuitableneſs of things above to my Spiritual Nature, much more draw up my Love to Heaven. There is the GOD whom I have ſought and ſerved: He is alſo here; but vailed, and but lit…le known: But there he ſhineth to heavenly Spirits in heavenly Glory. There is the Saviour in whom I have believed: He hath alſo dwelt in Fleſh on Earth: B…t cloathed in ſuch meanneſs, and humbled to ſuch a Life p. 246and Death, as was to the Jews a ſtumbling Block, and to the Gentiles matter of reproach: But he Shineth and Reigneth now in Glory, above the malice and contempt of Sinners. And I ſhall there Live becauſe he liveth; and in his Light I ſhall have Light. He loved me here with a Redeeming, Regenerating and preſerving Love: But there he will love me with a perfecting, glorifying joyful Love. I had here ſome Raies of heavenly Light: But interpoſitions cauſed Eclipſes and Nights, yea, ſome long and winter Nights: But there I ſhall dwell in the City of the Sun, the City of God, the heavenly Jeruſalem, where there is no Night, Eclipſe or Darkneſs! There are the heavenly Hoſts whoſe holy Love and Joyful Praiſes I would fain be a partaker of? I have here had ſome of their Loving aſſiſtance, but to me unſeen, being above our fleſhly way of Converſe. But there I ſhall be with them, of the like Nature, in the ſame Orb, and of the ſame Triumphant Church and Chore! There are perfected Souls gathered home to Chriſt: Not, as here, ſtriving like Eſau and Jacob in the Womb, not yet as John when he leaped in the Womb, becauſe of his Mothers joy; nor as wrangling Children that are hardly kept in the ſame Houſe in Peace: Not like the Servants of Abraham and Lot, like Paul and Barnabas, like Epiphanius and Chryſoſtom, like Luther and Caroloſtadius, like Ridley and Hooper, or the many ſtriving Parties now among us; nor like the Diſciples ſtriving who ſhould be the greateſt: Not like Noah's Family in a wicked World, or Lot in a wicked City, or Abraham in an Idolatrous Land, nor like Elijah left alone, nor like thoſe that wandred in Sheep Skins and Goat Skins, deſtitute, afflicted, and tormented, hid in Dens and Caves of the Earth; not like Job on the Dunghil, or p. 247like Lazarus at the rich Man's Doors: Not like the African Biſhops whoſe Tongues were cut out; nor like the Preachers ſilenced by Papiſt impoſers, (in German) by the Int…rim or elſewhere;) Nor like ſuch as Tzegedine, Peucer and many other worthy men, whoſe matureſt Age was ſpent in Priſons: Not as we poor bewildred Sinners, feeling evil, and fearing more, confounded in folly, and mad contention, ſome hating the only way of Peace, and others groping for it in the dark, wandring and loſt in the cleareſt Light, where the illuminated can but pitty the Blind, but cannot make them willing to be delivered: What is Heaven to me, but GOD? GOD who is LIFE, and LIGHT, and LOVE, communicating himſelf to bleſſed Spirits, perfecting them in the Reception, Poſſeſſion and Exerciſe of LIFE and LIGHT, and LOVE, FOR EVER. Theſe are not the Accidents, but the Eſſence of that God who is Heaven and All to me; ſhould I fear that Death which paſſeth me to Infinite Eſſential Life? Should I fear a darkſom paſſage into a World of perfect LIGHT? Should I fear to go to LOVE itſelf? Think, O my Soul, what the Suns quickening Light and Heat is to this lower corporeal World? Much more is GOD, even Infinite, LIFE and LIGHT and LOVE to the bleſſed World above: Doth it not draw out thy deſires to think of going into a World of LOVE? When LOVE will be our Region, our Company, our Life: More to us than the Air is for our Breath! than the Light is for our ſight; than our Food is for our Life, than our Friends are for our Solace: And more to us than we are to our ſelves, and we more for it as our ultimate end, than for our ſelves. O excellent Grace of Faith which doth foreſee, and bleſſed Word of Faith that doth foreſhew, this World p. 248of LOVE! Shall I fear to enter where there is no WRATH, no fear, no ſtrangeneſs, nor ſuſpicion, nor ſelfiſh ſeparation, but LOVE will make every holy Spirit as dear and lovely to me as my ſelf, and me to them as lovely as themſelves, and God to us all more amiable than our ſelves and all: Where LOVE will have no defects or diſtances, no damps or diſcouragements, no diſcontinuance or mixed diſaffection; but as LIFE will be without Death, and LIGHT, without Darkneſs, (a perfect everlaſting Day of Glory,) ſo will LOVE be without any hatred, unkindneſs, or allay. As many Coals make one Fire, and many Candles conjoined make one Light, ſo will many living Spirits make one Life, and many illuminated Glorious Spirits, one Light and Glory, and many Spirits innaturalized into LOVE, will make one Perfect LOVE of GOD, and be LOVED as One by God for ever: For all the Body of Chriſt is One; even here it is One in initial Union of the Spirit, and Relation to One God, and Head, and Life, 1 Cor. 12. throughout. Eph. 4. 1. to 17. and ſhall be preſented as beloved and ſpotleſs to God, when the great Marriage Day of the Lamb ſhall come, Eph. 5. 24, 25, &c. Rev. 21. & 22.

Had thou not given me, O Lord the LIFE of Nature, I ſhould have had no conceptions of a Glorious everlaſting Life: But if thou give me not the Life of Grace, I ſhall have no ſufficient delightful inclination and deſire after it. Hadſt thou not given me Sight and Reaſon, the Light of Nature, I ſhould not have thought how deſirable it is to live in the Glorious Light and Viſion; but if thou give me not the Spiritual Illumination of a ſeeing Faith, I ſhall not yet long for the Glorious Light, and beatifical Viſion. Hadſt thou not given me a Will and Love which is part of my very p. 249Nature itſelf, I could not have taſted how deſirable it is, to live in a World of Univerſal, perfect, endleſs LOVE: But unleſs thou alſo ſhed abroad thy LOVE upon my Heart, by the Spirit of Jeſus the Great Medium of LOVE, and turn my very Nature or Inclination into Divine and Holy LOVE, I ſhall not long for the World of LOVE. Appetite followeth Nature: O give me not only the Image and the Art of Godlineſs; the approaches towards it, nor only ſome forced or unconſtant acts; but give me the Divine Nature, which is Holy Love, and then my Soul will haſten towards thee, and cry, How long, O Lord, How long! O come, come quickly, make no delay. Surely the fear of dying intimateth ſome contrary Love that inclineth the Soul another way; and ſome ſhameful unbelief and great unapprehenſiveneſs of the Attractive Glory of the World of LOVE: Otherwiſe no frozen Perſon ſo longeth for the Fire, none in a Dungeon ſo deſireth Light, as we ſhould long for the heavenly Light and Love.

God's Infinite Eſſential SELF-LOVE, in which he is Eternally delighted in himſelf, is the moſt Amiable Object, and Heaven itſelf to Saints and Angels: And next to that His Love to all his Works, to the World, and to the Church in Heaven ſpeaketh much more of his Lovelineſs than his Love to me. But yet due Self-love in me, is his work, and part of his natural Image; and when this by ſin is grown up to exceſs, (through the withdrawing of a contracted narrow Soul, from the Union and due Love to my fellow Creatures, and to God) I muſt alſo, I cannot but, enquire after God's Love to me, and by this my deſires muſt much be moved: For I am not ſo capable of aſcending above Self-intereſt, and Self-love, as in the ſtate of Glorious Union I ſhall be. I am glad to perceive that others do love God; and p. 250I love thoſe moſt that I find moſt love him: But it is not other mens love to God that will be accepted by him inſtead of mine: Nor is it God's Love to others (which yet rejoiceth me) that will ſatisfie me without his love to me. But when all theſe are ſtill before me, God's Eſſential Self-love and Delight, his Love to his Creatures, eſpecially the Glorified, and his Love to me alſo, even to me a vile unworthy Sinner; what then ſhould ſtay my aſcending Love, or diſcourage my deſires to be with God?

And doſt thou doubt, canſt thou doubt, O my Soul, whether thou art going to a God that loveth thee? If the Jews diſcerned the great love of Chriſt to Lazarus by his Tears, canſt not thou diſcern his Love to thee in his Blood? It is never the leſs but the more obliging and amiable, that it was not ſhed for thee alone, but for many. May I not ſay as Paul, Gal. 2, 20. I live by the Faith of the Son of God, that hath loved Me, and given himſelf for me! Yea, it is not ſo much I that live, as Chriſt Liveth in me? And will he forſake the Habitation which his love hath choſen? And which he hath ſo dearly bought! O read often that triumphing Chapter, Rom. 8. and conclude, What ſhall ſeparate us from the Love of God? If Life have not done it, Death ſhall not do it. If leaning on his Breaſt at Meat, was a token of Chriſt's ſpecial love to John, is not his dwelling in me by my Faith, and his living in me by his Spirit, a ſure token of his love to me: And if a dark ſaying, [If he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?] raiſed a report that the beloved Diſciple ſhould not die, why ſhould not plain Promiſes aſſure me that I ſhall live with him that loveth me for ever? Be not ſo unthankful, O my Soul, as to queſtion doubtingly whether thy heavenly Father, and thy Lord p. 251doth love thee? Canſt thou forget the ſealed Teſtimonies of it? Did I not even now repeat ſo many as ſhould ſhame thy doubts? A multitude of thy Friends have loved thee ſo entirely, that thou canſt not doubt of it? And did any of them ſignifie their love with the convincing evidence that God hath done? Have they done for thee what he hath done: Are they Love itſelf; Is their love ſo full, ſo firm and ſo unchangeable as his? I think the ſweetlier of Heaven becauſe abundance of my ancient Lovely and Loving Holy Friends are there, and am the willinger by Death to follow them. And ſhould I not think of it more pleaſedly becauſe my God and Father, my Saviour, and my Comforter is there? And not alone, but with all the Society of Love. Was not Lazarus in the Boſom of God himſelf? yet it is ſaid, that he was in Abraham's Boſom; as the Promiſe runs, that we ſhall ſit down with Abraham, Iſaac, and Jacob in the Kingdom of God. And what maketh the Society of Saints ſo ſweet as holy Love? It is comfortable to read that, To love the Lord our God with all our Heart, and Soul, and might, is the Firſt and great Commandment; and the Second is like to it, To Love our Neighbours as our ſelves. For God's Commands proceed from that Will which is his Nature or Eſſence, and they tend to the ſame as their Objective end. Therefore he that hath made Love the Great Command, doth tell us that LOVE is the Great conception of his own Eſſence, the ſpring of that Command; and that this commanded imperfect Love, doth tend to perfect heavenly Love, even to our communion with Eſſential Infinite Love. It were ſtrange that the Love and Goodneſs which is equal to the Power that made the World, and the Wiſdom that ordereth it, ſhould be ſcant and backward to do good, and to be ſuſpected p. 252more than the Love of Friends! The remembrance of the holineſs, humility, love and faithfulneſs of my deareſt Friends of every Rank with whom I have converſed on Earth, in every place where I have lived, is ſo ſweet to me, that I am oft ready to recreate my ſelf with the naming of ſuch as are now with Chriſt: But in Heaven they will love me better than they did on Earth; and my love to them will be more pleaſant: But all theſe Sparks are little to the Sun.

Every place that I have lived in was a place of Divine Love, which there ſet up its obliging Monuments. Every Year and Hour of my life hath been a time of Love: Every Friend, and every Neigbour, yea, every Enemy have been the Meſſengers and Inſtruments of Love. Every ſtate and change of my life, notwithſtanding my ſin, hath opened to me Treaſures and Myſteries of Love. And after ſuch a life of Love, ſhall I doubt whether the ſame God do love me? Is he the God of the Mountains and not of the Valleys? Did he love me in my youth and health? And doth he not love me in my Age, and Pain, and Sickneſs; Did he love all the Faithful better in their life than at their Death? If our hope be not chiefly in this life, neither is our ſtate of Love, which is principally the heavenly endleſs Grace. My groans grieve my Friends, but abate not their love. Did he love me for my ſtrength, my weakneſs might be my fear: as they that love for Beauty, loath them that are deformed, and they that love for Riches, deſpiſe the Poor: But God loved me when I was his Enemy to make me a Friend, and when I was bad to make me better: What ever he taketh pleaſure in, is his own gift. Who made me to differ? And what have I that I have not received? And God will finiſh the Work, the Building, the Warfare p. 253that is his own. O the multitude of Mercies to my Soul and Body, in Peace and War, in Youth and Age, to my ſelf and friends, the many great and gracious deliverances which have teſtified to me the Love of God! Have I lived in the experience of it, and ſhall I die in the doubts of it? Had it been Love only to my Body, it would have died with me, and not have accompanied my departing Soul: I am not much in doubt of the truth of my Love to him: Though I have not ſeen him ſave as in a Glaſs, as in a Glaſs ſeen I love him: I love my Brethren whom I have ſeen, and thoſe moſt that are moſt in Love with him: I love his Word, and Works, and Ways, and fain I would be nearer him, and love him more; and I loath my ſelf for loving him no better. And ſhall Peter ſay more confidently, [Thou knoweſt that I love thee] than [I know that thou loveſt me?] Yes, he may; becauſe though God's Love is greater and ſtedfaſter than ours, yet our knowledge of his great love, is leſs than his knowledge of our little love; and as we are defective in our own Love, ſo are we in our certainty of its ſincerity. And without the knowledge of our Love to God, we can never be ſure of his ſpecial love to us. But yet I am not utterly a ſtranger to my ſelf: I know for what I have lived and laboured in the World! And who it is that I have deſired to pleaſe. The God whoſe I am, and whom I ſerve hath loved me in my youth, and he will love me in my aged weakneſs. My Fleſh and my Heart fail: my pains ſeem grievous to the Fleſh: But it is LOVE that chooſeth them, that uſeth them for my good, that moderateth them, and will ſhortly end them. Why then ſhould I doubt of my Fathers Love? Shall pain or dying make me doubt? Did God love none from the beginning of the World, but Henoch and Elias? And what am I better than my fore-Fathers? What is in me p. 254that I ſhould expect exemption from the common lot of all Mankind? Is not a competent time of great Mercy on Earth, in order to the unſeen felicity all that the beſt of men can hope for? O for a clearer, ſtronger Faith, to ſhew me the World that more excelleth this, than this excelleth the Womb where I was conceived! Then ſhould I not fear my third Birth day, what pangs ſoever go before it; nor be unwilling of my change! The Grave indeed is a Bed that Nature doth abhor: Yet there the weary be at reſt: But Souls new born have a double Nature that is Immortal, and go to the place that is agreeable to their Nature; even to the Region of Spirits, and the Region of Holy Love. Even paſſive Matter that hath no other Natural motion, hath a Natural Inclination to uniting, aggregative motion. And God maketh all Natures ſuitable to their proper ends and uſe: How can it be that a Spirit ſhould not incline to be with Spirits? And Souls that have the Divine Nature in holy Love, deſire to be with the God of Love? Arts, and Sciences, and Tongues become not a Nature to us; Elſe they would not ceaſe at Death: But holy LOVE is our New Nature, and therefore ceaſeth not with this bodily life. And ſhall accidental love make me deſire the company of a frail and mutable Friend? And ſhall not this ingrafted inſeparable love, make me long to be with Chriſt? Though the love of God to all his Creatures will not prove that they are all Immortal, nor oblige them to expect another life, that never had Capacity or Faculties to expect it; yet his love to ſuch as in Nature and Grace are made capable of it, doth warrant and oblige them to believe and hope for the full Perfection of the work of love. Some comfort themſelves in the love of St. Peter, as having the Keys of Heaven: And how many p. 255could I name that are now with Chriſt, who loved me ſo faithfully on Earth, that were I ſure they had the Keys and Power of Heaven (and were not changed in their Love) I could put my departing Soul into their Hands, and die with joy. And is it not better in the Hand of my Redeemer, and of the God of Love, and Father of Spirits? Is any love comparable to his? Or any Friend ſo boldly to be truſted? I ſhould take it for ungrateful unkindneſs in my Friend, to doubt of my love and truſtineſs, if I had given him all that he hath, and maintained him conſtantly by my kindneſs! But O how odious a thing is ſin! Which by deſtroying our love to God, doth make us unmeer to believe and ſweetly perceive his Love? And by making us doubt of the Love of God, and loſe the pleaſant reliſh of it, doth more increaſe our difficulty of loving him! The Title that the Angel gave to Daniel [A Man greatly beloved of God,] methinks ſhould be enough to make one joyfully love and truſt God, both in life and death. Will Almighty LOVE ever hurt me or forſake me? And have not all Saints that Title in their degrees? What elſe ſignifieth their Mark and Name, HOLINESS TO THE LORD? What is it but our ſeparation to God as his peculiar beloved People? And how are they ſeparated but by mutual love, and our forſaking all that alienateth or is contrary? Let Scorners deride us as ſelf flatterers that believe they are God's Darlings (and wo to the Hypocrites that believe it on their falſe Preſumption;) without ſuch belief or grounded hopes I ſee not how any Man can die in true Peace. He that is no otherwiſe beloved than Hypocrites, and Unbelievers, muſt have his portion with them: And he that is no otherwiſe beloved than as the ungodly, unholy and unregenerate, ſhall not ſtand p. 256in judgment, nor ſee God, nor enter into his Kingdom. Moſt upright Souls are to blame for groundleſs doubting of God's Love; but not for acknowledging it, rejoicing in it, and in their doubts being moſt ſolicitous to make it ſure: Love brought me into the World, and furniſhed me with a Thouſand Mercies! Love hath provided for me, delivered me, and preſerved me till now! And will it not entertain my ſeparated Soul? Is God like falſe or inſufficient Friends, that forſake us in adverſity!

I confeſs that I have wronged LOVE by ſin; by many and great unexcuſable ſins! But all ſave Chriſt himſelf were ſinners, which love did purifie and receive to Glory! God who is rich in Mercy for the great love wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in ſins hath quickned us together with Chriſt (by Grace we are ſaved) and hath raiſed us up together in heavenly places in Chriſt Jeſus, Eph. 2. 4, 5, 6. O that I could love much that have ſo much forgiven! The glorified praiſed him who loved us, and waſhed us from our ſins, in his own Blood, and made us Kings and Prieſts to God, Rev. 1. 5, 6. Our Father that hath loved us, giveth us conſolation and good hope through Grace, 2 Theſſ. 2. 16. I know no ſin which I repent not of with ſelf-loathing! And I earneſtly beg and labour that none of my ſins may be to me unknown. I dare not juſtifie even what is any way uncertain; though I dare not call all that my ſin which ſiding men of differing judgments on each ſide paſſionately call ſo: While both ſides do it on contrary accounts, and not to go contrary ways is a Crime. O that God would bleſs my accuſations to my illumination, that I may not be unknown to my ſelf! Though ſome think me much better than I am, and others much worſe, it p. 257moſt concerneth me to know the Truth my ſelf, flattery would be more dangerous to me, than falſe accuſations, I may ſafelier be ignorant of other mens ſins than of my own. Who can underſtand his errours: Cleanſe me Lord from ſecret ſins (and let not ignorance or errour keep me in impenitence;) and keep thou me back from preſumptuous ſins, Pſal. 19. 12, 13. I have an Advocate with the Father, and thy Promiſe, that he that confeſſeth and forſaketh his ſins ſhall have Mercy. Thoſe are by ſome men taken for my greateſt ſins, which my moſt ſerious Thoughts did judge to be the greateſt of my outward duties, and which I performed through the greateſt difficulties, and which coſt me deareſt to the Fleſh, and the greateſt ſelf-denial and patience in my reluctant Mind: Where-ever I have erred, Lord, make it known to me, that my confeſſion may prevent the ſin of others; and where I have not erred, confirm and accept me in the right.

And ſeeing an unworthy Worm hath had ſo many Teſtimonies of thy tender love, let me not be like them, Mal. 1. 1, 2. that when thou ſaidſt, I have loved you, unthankfully asked, Wherein haſt thou loved us, Heaven is not more ſpangled with Stars, than thy Word and Works with the refulgent Signatures of Love. Thy well beloved Son, the Son of thy Love, undertaking the Office, Meſſage and Work of the greateſt Love, was full of that Spirit which is Love, which he ſheds abroad in the Hearts of thine Elect, that the Love of the Father, the Grace of the Son, and the communion of the Spirit may be their hope and life. His Works, his Sufferings, his Gifts, as well as his comfortable Word, did ſay to his Diſciples, Joh. 15. 9. As the Father loved me, ſo have I loved you: continue ye in my love. And how, Lord, ſhall we continue p. 258in it, but by the thankful belief of thy love and lovelineſs, deſiring ſtill to love thee more, and in all things to know and pleaſe thy Will! Which thou knoweſt is my Souls deſire!

Behold then, O my Soul, with what Love the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have loved thee, that thou ſhould be made and called a Son of God, redeemed; regenerate, adopted into that Covenant-ſtate of Grace in which thou ſtandeſt: Rejoice therefore in hope of the G…ory of God, Rom. 5. 1, 2. being juſtified by Faith, having Peace with God, and acceſs by Faith and Hope that maketh not aſhamed; that being reconciled, when an Enemy, by the Death of Chriſt, I ſhall be ſaved by his life. Having loved his own, to the end he loveth them, and without end: His Gifts and Calling are without Repentance: When Satan, and thy Fleſh would hide God's love, look to Chriſt, and read the golden words of Love in the Sacred Goſpel; and peruſe thy many recorded experiences, and remember the convictions which ſecret and open Mercies have many a time afforded thee! But eſpecially draw nearer to the Lord of Love, and be not ſeldom and ſlight in thy contemplations of his Love and Lovelineſs; Dwell in the Sun-ſhine, and thou w…lt know that it is light, and warm, and comfortable. Diſtance and ſtrangeneſs cheriſh thy doubts: Acquaint thy ſelf with him, and be at peace.

Yet look up, and oft and earneſtly look up, after thy aſcended glorified Head, who ſaid, Tell my Brethren, I aſcend to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God! Think where and what he is, and what he is now doing for all his own; and how humbled, abaſed, ſuffering Love is now Triumphant, regnant, glorified Love; and therefore no leſs than in all p. 259its tender expreſſions upon Earth. As Love is no where perfectly revealed but in Heaven, ſo I can no where ſo fully diſcern it, as by looking up by Faith to my Father and Saviour which is in Heaven, and converſing more believingly with the heavenly Society. Had I done this more and better, and as I have perſuaded others to do it, I had lived in more convincing delights of God's Love, which would have turned the fears of Death into joyfuller hopes, and more earneſt deſires to be with Chriſt, in the Arms, in the World, in the life of Love, as far better than to be here, in a dark, a doubting, fearing World.

But, O my Father, Infinite LOVE, though my Arguments be many and ſtrong, my Heart is bad, and my ſtrength is weakneſs, and I am inſufficient to plead the cauſe of thy Love and Lovelineſs to my ſelf or others: O plead thy own cauſe, and what Heart can reſiſt? Let it not be my word only, but Thine that thou loveſt me, even me a Sinner; ſpeak it as Chriſt ſaid to Lazarus Ariſe: If not, as thou telleſt me that the Sun is warm, yet as thou haſt told me, that my Parents and my deareſt Friends did love me, and much more powerfully than ſo. Tell it me, as thou telleſt me that thou haſt given me life, by the conſciouſneſs and works of life: That while I can ſay, Thou that knoweſt all things, Knoweſt that I love Thee; it may include, [therefore, I know that I am beloved of thee;] and therefore come to thee in the confidence of thy Love, and long to be nearer in the clearer ſight, the fuller ſenſe, and joyfuller exerciſe of Love for ever. Father, into thy Hand I commend my Spirit: Lord Jeſus receive my Spirit! Amen.