The Catechizing of Families, Chapter 40
CHAP. XL. Of the Seventh Commandement.
Qu. 1. WHat are the Words of the Seventh Commandement?
A. Thou shalt not Commit Adultery.
Q. 2. What is the sin here forbidden?
A. All unlawful carnal Copulation, and every evil inclination, or action or omssion which tendeth thereunto, or partaketh of any degree of unchastity or Pollution.
Q. 3. Is all lust or inclination to Generation a Sin?
A. No: For 1. Some is natural to man, and that not as corrupt; But as God said, Increase and Multiply before the Fall, so no doubt he inclined Nature thereto. aHeb. 13. 4. Gen. 1. 22, 28. & 9. 7. & 22. 17. & 26. 4, 24.2. And the regular propagation of Mankind, is one of the noblest natural works that man is instrumental in: A Man being a more excellent thing than a house or any Work of art. 3. And God hath put some such inclination into Nature, in great Wisdom and Mercy to the world: For if Nature had not some considerable appetite to Generation and also strong desire of Posterity, Men would hardly be drawn to be at so much care, cost and labour to propagate Mankind, but specially Women would not so commonly submit to all their sickness, pain, danger and after-trouble which now they undergo. But if a few self-denying persons did propagate Mankind only as an act of obedience to God, the multitude of the ungodly would not do it.
Q. 4. If it be so, why is any carnal acts of Generation forbidden? specially when it is an act of Love, and doth no body any harm?
A. God hath in great Wisdom and Mercy to man made his Laws for restraining men from inordinate Lust and Copulation.
1. The noblest things are basest when Corrupted. Devils are worse than men because they were higher and better before. A wicked man is incomparably worse and more miserable than a Beast or a Toad, because he is a nobler nature depraved. And so humane Generation is worse than that of Swine or Dogs when it is vicious.
2. Promiscuous unregulated Generation tends to the utter ruin and vitiating of Mankind, by the overthrow of the just Education of Children, on which the welfare of Mankind doth eminently depend. Alas, all care and order is little enough and too little to keep corrupted Nature from utter Beastiality and malignity; much more to make Youth wise and virtuous, without which it had been better never to have been born: When Fathers know their own Children, and when Mothers have the love and encouragement and Houshold-advantage of order which is necessary, some good may be done. But lawless exercise of Lust will frustrate all. 1. Women themselves will be Slaves, or their advantage mutable and uncertain: For such Lust will serve its turn of them but for Novelty, and will be still for change; And when a younger or a fairer comes, the Mother is cast off and hated: bAct. 15. 20, 29. Rom. 1. 29, 30. 1 Cor. 6. 13, 18. & 7. 2. & 10. 8. Gal. 5. 19. Eph. 5. 3. 4. Col. 3. 5. 1 Thes. 4. 3. Rev. 2. 14, 20. Mat. 15. 19. 1 Cor. 5. 11. Heb. 12. 16.And then the next will hate her Children, or at least not love them as necessary▪ Education doth require. And when the Father hath forsaken the Mother, it's like he will forsake the Children with her. And when Womens lusts are lawless as well as Mens, men being uncertain what Children are their own, will be regardless both of their Souls and Bodies: So that Confusion would destroy Religion and Civility, and make the World worse than most of the American Savages are, who are taught by nature to set bounds to lust.
And besides all this, the very Lust it self thus increased by lawless liberty would so corrupt mens Minds, and Fantasies and Affections into a sordid beastly Sensuality, that it would utterly indispose them to all spiritual and heavenly yea and manly employments of Heart and Life; men will grow sottish and stupid, unfit to consider of Heavenly things, and uncapable of Holy pleasures.
Q. 5. But if these evil consequents be all, then a man that can moderately use Fornication so as shall avoid these evils, sinneth not?
A. Sin is the breach of Gods Law: These mischiefs that would follow lawless lust, shew you that God made this Law for the welfare of Mankind: But Gods own Wisdom and Will is the Original reason of his Law, and must satisfie all the World. But were there none but this forementioned, to avoid the Worlds confusion and ruine, it was needful that God set a Law to Lust: And when this is done for the Common good, it is not lest to man to break Gods Law whenever he thinks he can avoid the consequents and secure the end of the Law. For if men be left to such liberty as to judge when they may keep Gods Law and when they may break it, lust will alwayes find a reason to excuse it, and the Law will be in vain. The World needed a regulating Law: and Gods Law must not be broken.
Q. 6. Which are the most hainous sorts of filthyness?
A. Some of them are scarce to be named among Christians: 1. Sodomy: 2. Copulation with Bruits. 3. Incest; sinning thus with near kindred: 4. Rapes or forcing Women. But the commonest sorts are Adultery, Fornication, self-Pollution and the filthiness of the thoughts and affections, and the words and actions which partake of the Pollution.cGen. 18. 1 Cor. 5. Lev. 18.
Q. 7. Why is Adultery so great a sin?
A. Besides the foresaid evils that are Common to it and Fornication, it is a perfidious violation of the Marriage Covenant, and destroyes the conjugal Love of Husband and Wife, and confoundeth Progeny, and as is aforesaid corrupteth Family order and humane Education.dMat. 5. 32. & 19. 6. Mal. 2. 13.
Q. 8. Why may not a man have many Wives now as the Jews had?
A. As Christ saith of Putting away, From the beginning it was not so, but it was permitted for the hardness of their Hearts; that their Seed might be multiplyed, in which they placed their chief prosperity. And (that we may not think worse of them than they were) as God hath taught the very Bruits to use Copulation no ofter than is necessary to Generation, so it is probable by many passages of Scripture, that it was so ordinarily then with men; and consequently that they that had many Wives used them not so often as now too many do one, and did not multiply Wives so much for Lust as for Progeny.eGen. 29. 30, 34. & 30. 15. 18. 20. D…. 25. 6, 7.
Q. 9. But is no ofter use of Husband and Wife lawful than for Generation?
A. Yes, in Case of necessitating Lust: But such a measure of Lust is to be accounted inordinate, either as sin or a disease; and not to be causlesly indulged; though this remedy be allowed it.f1 Cor. 7. 9.
Q. 10. But why may not many Wives be permitted now as well as then?
A. 1. No man can either dispense with Gods Laws, or forgive sin against them, but God himself. If he forbear men in a sin, that doth not justifie it. 2. If a few men and many Women were cast upon a Wilderness, or sent to plant it by Procreation, the case were liker the Israelites, where the Men were ofter kill'd by Wars and Gods Judgments than the Women: But with us there is no pretence for the like Polygamy; but it would confound and disquiet Families.
If one should make a difficult case of it, whether a Prince that hath a Barren Wife may not take another, for the safety of a Kingdom, when it is in notorious danger of falling into the hands of a destroyer (as Adams own Sons and Daughters lawfully marryed each other because there were no others in the World,) this would be no excuse, where no such publick notorious necessity can be pleaded.
Q. 11. Why must marriage be a publick act?
A. Because else Adultery and unlawful Separations cannot be known nor punished, but Confusion will come in.
Q. 12. But is it not Adultery that is committed against secret Marriage, which was never published or legally Solemnized?
A. Yes: Secret consent makes a Marriage before God, though not before the World: and the violation of it is Adultery before God.
Q. 13. May not a man put away his Wife, or depart from her, if she seek his death, or if she prove utterly intolerable?
A. While he is Governour he hath divers other Remedies first to be tryed: A Bedlam must be used as a Bedlam: And no doubt but if he have just cause to fear poysoning or other sort of Murder, he may secure his life against a Wife as well as against an Enemy: Christ excepted not that case, because Nature supposeth such Exceptions.
Q. 14. But if utter unsuitableness make their Cohabitation an insuperable temptation or intolerable misery, may they not part by consent for their own good; seeing it is their mutual good which is the end of Marriage?
A. 1. The publick good is a higher end of all mens worldly Interests and Actions than their own: And when the Example would encourage unlawful Separators, they must not seek their own ease to the publick detriment. gMat. 5. 32. & 19. 6.2. And if it be their own sinfull distempers which maketh them unsuitable, God bindeth them to amend, and not to part: And if they neglect not his Grace, he will help them to do what he commandeth: And it's in his way and not their own, by the Cure of their sin, and not by indulging it that they must be healed: But as the Apostle saith in another Case, if the faulty Person depart, and the other cannot help it, a Brother or Sister is not left in Bondage, but may stay till the allay of the Distemper incline them to return.gMat. 5. 32. & 19. 6.
Q. 15. What is inward heart Fornication or Uncleanness?
A. 1. Inordinate filthy thoughts are some degree; 2. Inordinate desires are a higher degree: 3. Inordinate contrivance and consent are yet a higher. And when such thoughts and desires become the ordinary Inhabitants of the Soul, and pollute it when they lie down and when they rise, and shut out holy and sober thoughts, and become a filthy habit in the Mind, then the degree is so great, as that an unclean Devil hath got great advantage, if not a kind of possession of the Imagination and the Soul.hMat. 5. 28, 29. Eph. 5. 4, 5. Iam. 1. 21. 2 Pet. 2. 18. 1 Ioh. 2. 16. Iob 31. 1.
Q. 16. Which way are the other senses guilty of this sin?
A. 1. When an ungoverned Eye is suffered to fetch in lustfull thoughts and desires into the mind. 2. Much more when to such immodest or unchas…e Looks, there is added immodest Actions and dalliance, unfit to be named. 3. And when fleshly Appetite and Ease do bring in fewel to unchaste incli…ations. 4. And when the Ear is set open to ribald and defiling words.
Q. 17. How is the Tongue guilty of Uncleanness?
A. By the aforesaid filthy or wanton talk, reading alluring Books, using alluring words to others, …ut worst of all by defending, extenuating or excu…ng any filthy Lusts.
Q. 18. What are the chief Causes of this sin?
A. It is supposed that God put into Nature an …rdinate Governable Appetite to Generation in Man…ind: But that which rendereth it inordinate and un…ly and destructive, is, 1. Overmuch pampering …e flesh by pleasing Meats and Drinks. 2. Idleness: …ot keeping under the Body by due labour; nor …eeping the Mind in honest employment, about our …allings, and the great matters of our Duty to God …d of our Salvation, which leave no room for Filth …d Vanity. 3. Want of a sanctified Heart and ten…er Conscience to resist the first degrees of the sin. … Specially wilfull running into temptation.iDeu. 6. 21. Ezek. 16. 49.
Q. 19. By what degrees do Persons come to Forni…ion?
A. 1. By the foresaid cherishing the Causes, Ap…ite and Idleness.
2. By this means the lustfull Inclinations of the …esh grow as strong and troublesome in some as a …lent Itch, or as a Thirst in a Feaver.kEph. 2. 3. …d. 12. 7, 8. 2 Pet. 2. 14. 16. 18. 1 Ioh. 2. 16. …l. 5. 19, 20.
3. Then an ungoverned Eye must gaze upon some tempting piece of Flesh.
4. And if they get opportunity for frequent privacy and familiarity, and use it in immodest sights and actions, they are half overcome.
5. For then the Devil as an unclean Spirit gets possession of the Imagination, and there is a strong inclination in them to think of almost nothing else, but fleshly filth, and the pleasure that their Sense ha… in such immodest bruitishness. When God should have their Hearts Morning and Night, and perhap… at Church and in holy Actions, this unclean Spiri… ruleth their thoughts.
6. Then Conscience growing senseless, they fea… nor to seed these pernicious flames with ribba… talk, and Romances, and Amorous foolish Playes and conversing with such as are of their ow… mind.
7. After this where their Fancy is infected, the… study and contrive themselves into further temptation, to get that nearness, opportunity and Secrec… which may encourage them.
8. And from thence Satan hurryeth them (usuall… against Conscience) into actual Fornication.
9. And when they are once in, the Devil and … Flesh say, Twice may be pardoned as well … once.
10. And some at last with seared Conscience grow to excuse it as a small sin: And sometim… are forsaken to fall into utter Insidelity or Atheis… that no fear of Judgment may molest them. … others sin on in horror and despair: Of whom the two there is more hope, as having less qui…ness in their sins to hinder their repentance.
Q. 20. What are the best Remedies against all Unchastity and uncleanness of Mind and Body?
A. 1. The principal is the great work of renewing grace which taketh up the Heart of man to God, and maketh him perceive that his Everlasting concerns are those that must take up his Mind and Life: And this work still mortifieth the flesh with the affections and lusts thereof.
2. Another is to make it seriously a great part of …r Religion, to subdue and destroy all fleshly sin…ul lusts: and not to think a bare Conviction or Wish will do it: But that it requireth more Labour, than …o kill Weeds in your ground, or to tame unruly Colts or Cattle.lRom. 8. 1, 5, 7, 12, 13. 2 Pet. 2. 10. Gal. …. 13, 17, 24.
3. Another means is, to resolve upon a constant …iligence in a lawful Calling. Poor labouring men …re seldom so vicious in Lust, as idle Gentlemen …e.mIude 23. 1 Cor. 9. 17, Rom. …. 13, 14. Prov. 5. 8. Gen. 34.
4. Temperance, and Fasting when there is need, …nd avoiding fulness, and flesh-pleasing meats and …rinks: Gluttons and Drunkards are fitted to be …oars and Stallions.
5. To keep a Conscionable Government of the …ye, and Thoughts, and call them off as soon as Satan …empteth them.
6. Above all to be sure to keep far enough from …empting persons. Touch them not: Be not pri…te with them: There is no safety when fire and …powder are long near: Nor in an infectious …ouse. Distance is the greatest means of safety.
7. Another means is to foresee the End, and think what will follow: specially think of Death and Judgement: Consider what the alluring flesh will be whe… the Small-pox shall cover it with Scabs, or when i… shall have lain a few weeks stinking in a grave: Thi… must be: But O the thoughts of the Judgment o… God, and the torment of a guilty Conscience shoul… be more mortifying helps. To go to the house o… Mourning and see the end of all men, and see wha… the dust and bones of men are when they are ca… up out of the grave, and to think where the So… are and must be for ever, methinks should cure th… folly of Lust.
Q. 21. Is it unlawful for Men and Women, especially the unmarryed, to set out themselves in such Ornaments of Apparel, as may make them seem most comel… and desireable?
A. 1. The common Rule is to be cloathed wit… decent but modest Apparel, such as shews the Body without deceit to be what it is, which is neithe… loathsome, nor alluring. 2. And persons must b… invited to conjugal desires, by Truth and not by D… ceit, and by the matters of real worth, such as wi… dom, godliness, patience and meekness, and not b… fleshly snares: For Marriages so contracted are lik… to turn to continued misery to both, when the Body is known without the Ornaments, and decei… and the diseases of the Soul become vexatious.
3. But there is much difference to be made … the Time, and Ends. nIer. 2. 32. 1 Pet. 3. 3, 4. Gen. 38. 15. Pro… ▪ 7. 10.A young Woman th… hath a Suitor and intendeth Marriage, may go furth… i… adorning her self to please him that chooseth her, …nd a Wife to please her Husbands Eye, than they …ay do to Strangers, where there is no such pur…ose or Relation. To use a Procatious garb to be …hought amiable to others, where it may become a …are but can do no good, is the act of one that …ath the folly of Pride, and some of the dispositi…n of a Harlot; even a pleasure and desire to have …ose think them amiable, desirable persons, in whom … may kindle concupiscence liker than any good.
Q. 22. But may not a crooked or deformed person …de their deformity by apparel or other means?
A. Yes, so far as it only tends to avoid mens dis…in in a Common Conversation; But not so as to …eceive men in Marriage-desires, or purposes or pra…ice.
Q. 23. What if ones Condition be such that Mar…ge is like to impoverish them in the World, and cast … into great streights and temptations, and yet they … a bodily necessity of it?
A. God casteth none into a necessity of sinning. …ication must not be committed to avoid pover…: If such can by lawful means overcome their lust, …er must do it: If not, they must marry though they …er poverty.
Q. 24. What if Parents forbid their Children ne…ry mariage?
A. Such Children must use all lawful means to …ke Marriage unnecessary to them. But if that can… be done, they must marry whether their Parents … or not. For man hath no Power to forbid what …d Commandeth.
Q. 25. Is that Marriage void which is without … consent of Parents, and must such be separate as …lterers?
A. Some Marriage as aforesaid is Lawful without their consent: some is sinfull, but yet not Null nor to be dissolved, which is the most usual Case. Because all at age do choose for themselves, even in the matters of Salvation: And though they ough… to be ruled by Parents, yet when they are not, thei… own act bindeth them. But if the incapacity of the persons make it null, that's another Case.
Q. 26. How shall men be sure what degrees ar… prohibited, and what is Incest, when Moses Law i… abrogated, and the Law of Nature is dark and doubtful in it, and Christ saith little of it?
A. Those passages in Moses Law which are b… Gods Explication of a dark Law of Nature, do st… tell us how God once expounded it, and conseque… ly how far it doth extend, though Moses Law … such be abrogated.
2. The Laws about such restraint of Marriag… are Laws of Order: And therefore bind when … der is necessary for the thing ordered; but not wh… it destroyeth the good of the thing ordered, whi… is its End. Therefore Incest is unlawfull out of … cases of Necessity; but to Adams Sons and Daug… ters it was a Duty: And all the Children of No… three Sons must needs marry either their own B… thers and Sisters, or the Children of their Fath… Brethren, which moved Lo…s Daughters to do w… they did.
3. In these matters of Order some Laws of … Land must be obeyed, though they restrain … more than the Laws of God.
Q. 27. Is Marriage in every forbidden degree … be dissolved?
A. Not if it be a degree only forbidden by M… Laws: Or if it were in such foresaid cases of absolute necessity: But that which God doth absolutely forbid, must not be continued but dissolved; as the Case of Herod, and him 1 Cor. 5. tells us.