Christian Letters Full of Spiritual Instructions, Letter 38
LETTER XXXVIII. [Do all in reference to God and his Glory.]
Dear Friend,
I Have received yours of the 19th. of September, but it came to me in the time of my sickness, in which I was much a stranger to writing; it con…nued upon me five months, and to this day so much weakness remains in my arms, that I am not able to put off or on my own clothes. Your Letter was exceeding welcome to me, not only as reviving the remembrance of our old friendship, but also, as bringing me news of some spiritual good that you received by me, which is the best tidings that I can receive: for what do I live for, but to be useful to souls in my generation? I desire to know no other business than to please and honour my God, and serve my generation in that short allowance of time that I have here, before I go hence, and shall be seen no more. Shall I commend to you the Lesson that I am about to learn? But why should I doubt of your acceptance, who have so readily embraced me in all our converses?
The Lesson is, To be entirely devoted unto the Lord, that I may be able to say after the Apostle, To me to live is Christ. I would not be serving God only for a day in the week, or an hour or two in the day; but every day, and all the day. I am ambitious to come up towards that of our Lord and Master, To do always those things that please God. I plainly see, that self-seeking is self-undoing; and that then we do promote our selves best, when we please God most. I find, that when I have done all, if God be not pleased, I have done nothing; and if I can but approve my self to God, my work is done: I reckon I do not live that time I do not live unto God.
I am …ain to cut off so many hours from my days, and so many years from my life (so short as it is) as I have lived unto my self. I find no enemy so dangerous as my self, and O that others might take warning by my hurt! O that I had lived wholly unto God! then had every day and every hour that I have spent, been found upon my account at that great day of our appearing before God: then I had been rich indeed, in treasure laid up there, whither I am apace removing; then I had been every day and hour adding to the heap, and encreasing the reward which God of his meer grace hath promised, even to the meanest work that is done to him, Col. 3. 24. I verily perceive I am an external loser by acting no more as for God; for what is done to my self, is lost; but what is done for God, is done for ever, and shall receive an everlasting reward. Verily, if there be another world to come, and an eternal state after this short life, it is our only wisdom to be removing, and, as it were, transplanting and transporting what we can, from hence, into that Countrey to which we are shortly to be removed, that what we are now doing, we may be reaping the fruit of for ever more. The world think themselves wise; but I will pawn my soul upon it, that this is the true wisdom.
Well, let us be wholly swallowed up in the concerns of Religion, and know no other interest but Jesus Christs. I cannot say, I have already attained; but this is that my heart is set to learn, That in all that I do, whether sacred or civil actions, still I may be doing but one work, and driving on one design, That God may be pleased by me, and he glorified in me; that not onelyonly my Praying, Preaching, Alms, &c. may be found upon my account; but even my eating, drinking, sleeping, visits, discourses, because they are all done as unto God. Too often do I take a wrong aim, and miss my mark; but I will tell you what be the rules I set my self, and do strictly impose upon my self from day to day: Never to lie down, but in the Name of God; not barely for natural refreshment, but that a wearied servant of Christ may be recruited and fitted to serve him better the next day. Never to rise up but with this r…solution, Well, I will go forth this day in the Name of God, and will make Religion my business, and spend the d…y for Eternity. Never to enter upon my calling, but first thinking, I will do these things as unto God, because he requireth these things at my hands in the place and station he hath put me into. Never to sit down to the Table, but resolving, I will not eat meerly to please my appetite, but to strengthen my self for my Masters work. Never to make a visit, but upon some holy design, resolving to leave something of God where I go; and in every company to leave some good savour behind. This is that which I have been for some time a learning, and am pressing hard after; and if I strive not to walk by these Rules, let this Paper be a witness against me.
I am not now in my former publick capacity, such things being required of me to say and subscribe, as I could by no means yield to, without open lying and dissembling with God and Men: yet, that I am unuseful, I cannot say; but rather think, that possibly I may be of more use than heretofore. I thank the Lord, I have not known what it is to want a tongue to speak, but in my sickness; nor a people to hear; but so, as that we both, follow the things that make for peace.
I perceive you are otherwise perswaded in some things, than I am: but however, I trust we meet in our end. Since you are in, may it be your whole study to gain souls, and to build them up in holiness, which is with too many the least of their cares. One duty (miserably neglected) I shall be bold to commend to you from my own experience, and that is, the visiting your whole Flock from house to house, and enquiring into their spiritual estates particularly, and dealing plainly and truly with them about their conversion to God: to the usefulness of this great work, I can set my Probatum est.
I hear you have two Parsonages: O tremble to think how many precious souls you have to look to! and let it be seen, however others aim at the Fleece, you aim at the Flock; and that you have indeed Curam animarum.
You see how free I am with you; but I know your candor.
I rejoice in your happy Yoke-fellow: salute her from your old Friend, and accept the unfeigned respects of him who is, Sir,
Your real and faithful Friend; JOS. ALLEINE.