Instructions to a Son, Chapter 6
CHAP. VI. Of Housekeeping and Hospitality.
THis is a generosity very requisite in Noble persons, and the greatest demonstrations they are so: 'Tis as well respected for the quality of it as the quantity, and according to the condition of every man; you may be as free in a moderate entertainment as in all the excesses and superfluities of your Table, which then becomes a snare, where it should be a kindness.
Nevertheless, the greater extreme is that of niggardliness, and but a little less then vileness or baseness, in the eyes of your Neighbours, which will soon bring contempt and dis-esteem upon you, which you must by all means (as reckoning it the worst evil can befal noble persons,) avoid and decline. The English are so careful of their Honour in this point, that they do abridge themselves of other Grandezza's which their Estates would afford them, in coming to Court, Masquing, &c. to sacrifice with the due rites to their Penates their Housholdgods, to whom their Ancestors had devoted their prime substance, and which the Genius of their neighbouring people as by a religious custome expected from them.
So much was not required at the hands of any Scotch Noble man, as from an Esquire there of 2000l. per annum, the difference lies in the condition of our vassals, and their Tenants and Neighbours; which being perhaps now to be more assimilated, both by some use and understanding our Nation hath of the English Customes, and the greater correspondency and mutual friendship, that is likely toarise between them, (which is now more advanced by the war, then by the long projected union;) I would advise you as far, and as soon, as you are able to comply with the English manners in this particular. It will beget you a good respect; and favour purchased from hence is most durable.
To this purpose, keep constantly at home, without urgent and necessary occasions call you from thence. The entertainment your House will afford strangers, though it be never so ample and abundant, will want that condiment and sauce of Hospitality, your own company. Men usually affect their Landlords company, though they pay for it; much more will the honour of your presence commend your frank and liberal treatments, to the gratitude of all persons who shall resort to your House and Table.
Be not only courteous your self to all comers, but see your servants be so too. Kind reception and admittance is as necessary before meat, as digestion afterwards; and he that would have thanks for his entertainment when it is past must bespeak it before it begin at his board, that his victuals and chear be but a rumination of his first kindnesses, and that his Porch be as free as his Hall.
Keep about you therefore no morose, cross conditioned servants, and as near as you can retain men of a good aspect, and as far as you can be assured of them to be of fair and civil demeanour. Such will not only be an ornament and honour to you, but of much advantage; for as it will invite persons of quality and civility to you, which will be credible for you, so will it shame and deter the ruder, and more ungoverned sort of people, who meeting with such dissonant humours, will soon abstain or soon be civilized.
Let not your entertainments be tedious, knowing that is not the way to keep them all along the year, and therefore substantial dishes must make up your bill of fare, in stead of French Quelque choses. Money and time is fruitlessely spent in those vanities, and are for no masculine contentment and palate; and if such be not your guests, your expences will be thrown away, when others reckon them laid out.
Above all things avoid intemperance in drink. Luxury in feeding seldome carries men beyond their stomack and discretion, though never so many provocations be used to lure them on; but in the abundance of wine men are sottishly transported beyond themselves, and the excess in it, makes them the more covetous and raging after it; especially where they think or find they cannot be welcome, unless they comply with your humour, and can requite your charges no other ways, then by the loss of their sense and modesty.
I would have you therefore detest that barbarous German mode of drinking to victory, by a beastly subduing of those, whom you have invited, and humanely welcomed, and bid to your Table, 'Tis one of the greatest vices our Gentry hath brought from thence, amidst all those Trophies which they deservedly gained there, and therefore the more caution is to be used, lest it insinuate it self easily by their converse, whose company you shall do well always to esteem as an honour; but yet use your discretion and my experience as an Antidote against that humour, which you may do plausibly and indiscernible enough.
Suffer no person to depart your house in discontent that shall not by rudeness or some other unhospitable way deserve your dis-respect; on the other side, permit no tumultuous disorderly persons to stay within your dores. Every ordinary mans house is his Castle, but a Noblemans is that and a Palace both, where there is reverence due to you as well as a bare power and command.
On publique Anniversary Thanksgiving days, you must expend above your ordinary provisions. The solemnity due to those festivals, takes it's weight from the observation of the Nobility, whose magnificences at those times are the most forcible impressions to make the people remember and call to mind, (which will also keep them in their duty,) the mercy's and favours of such days. This will more especially concern you, who by all means and ways must endeavour to reconcile your self to the government.
But be surest, that the poor whose condition will not suffer them within your doors, may not be out of your heart, but that a constant care and provision be made for them: from whom I assure you, you shall find the greatest return and thanks, if not by them, yet for them.