The Exaltation of the Soul, Prayer 91 – Prayer 92
A Prayer at the approach of Death.
O Eternal and everlasting God, who breathed into man the breath of life, and when thou takest away that breath, he dies, and is turned again into dust, look with compassion on me thy poor creature, who am now drawing near the gates of death, and which is infinitely terrible, the Bar of Judgment. Lord, my own heart condemns me, and thou art infinitely greater than my heart, and thou knowest all things; the sins I remember fill me with horrour: There are also multitudes of other sins which I either observed not at all times, or have since carelesly forgotten, which are all present with thee: Thou settest my misdeeds before thee, and my secret sins in the sight of thy countenance, and what a mountainous heap those eminent provocations of so many years arise to? how long shall so ungodly a sinner stand in thy Judgment, or such a sinner in the Congregation of the Righteous? And to add more terrour, my very countenance, and repentance, I fear, will not abide thy tryal; my frequent relapses heretofore have sufficiently witnessed the insincerity of my heart, and best resolutions; and then, O Lord, what can secure me that my present dislikes of my sins are not rather the effects of my amazing danger, than of any real change. And, O Lord, I know thou art not, nor wilt accept of any thing that is not sincere. O Lord, when I consider this, fearfulness and trembling comes upon me, and a horrible dread overwhelms me; my flesh trembleth for fear of thee, and my heart is wounded within me. But, O Lord, who wills not the death of a sinner, be merciful unto me. One deep calleth upon another, the depth of my misery upon the depth of thy mercy: Lord, save me now, or I perish eternally. O thou who willest not that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, such as thou wilt accept, who tryest the heart, create in me, O God, a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. O Lord, one day with thee is better than a thousand elsewhere. O let thy mighty Spirit work in me now in this my last day, whatsoever thou seest wanting, to fit me for mercy and acceptation. Give me a perfect and an entire hatred of all my sins, and enable me to present thee with a sacrifice of a broken and a contrite heart, which thou hast promised not to despise, that by this I may be made capable of that atonement, which thy dear Son hath by the more excellent oblation of himself, made for all repenting sinners; he is the Propitiation for our sins; he was wounded for our transgressions; he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisements of our peace was upon him: O heal me by these stripes, and let the cry of his blood cry down the clamour of my sins. I am indeed the child of wrath, but he is the Son of thy Love; for his sake spare me, O Lord, spare thy poor creature, whom he hath redeemed with his most precious blood, and be not angry with me for ever. O let not thy vengeance pursue me to this City of Refuge; my soul hangeth upon him; Oh let me not perish with a Jesus, with a Saviour in my arms, but by his agony and bloody sweat, by his Cross and Passion, by all that he did and suffered for sinners, good Lord deliver me; deliver me, I beseech thee, from the wages of sin, thy wrath and everlasting damnation, in the time of my tribulation, in the hour of death, and in the day of judgment. Hear me, O Lord, hear me, and do not repay me for my former neglects of thy calls, by refusing to answer me in this time of my greatest need. Lord, there's but a step between me and death; but seal my pardon before I go hence and be no more seen: Thy loving-kindness is better than life it self; Oh let me have that in exchange, and I shall most gladly lay down this mortal life. O Lord, thou knowest all my desire, and my groaning is not hid from thee; deal thou with me, O Lord, according to thy Name, for sweet is thy mercy; take away the sting of death, the guilt of my sins, and then though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; I will lay me down in peace, and Lord, when I awake, let me be satisfied with thy presence in thy glory; grant this merciful God, for his sake, who is both the Mediator and Redeemer of sinners, even Jesus Christ. Amen.
PUT me not to rebuke, O Lord, in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy heavy displeasure. There is no health in my flesh, because of thy displeasure, neither is there any rest in my soul by reason of my sins; for my wickedness is gone over my head, and are a sore burthen, too heavy for me to bear. My wounds stink and corrupt through my foolishness; therefore is my spirit vexed within me, and my heart within me is desolate. My sins have taken such hold upon me, that I go in mourning all the day long; yea they are more in number than the hairs of my head; and my heart hath failed me; but thou, O Lord God, art full of compassion and mercy, long-suffering, plenteous in goodness and truth; turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me, for I am desolate and in misery. If thou Lord shouldest be extream to mark what is done amiss, O Lord who may abide it? O remember not the sins of my youth, and my offence, but according to thy mercy think upon me for thy goodness; look upon my adversity and misery, and forgive me all my sins. Hide not thy face from thy servant, for I am in trouble. O haste thee and hear me, out of the deep do I call unto thee; O Lord, hear my voice. Turn thee, O Lord, and deliver my soul, O save me for thy mercy sake. O go not far from me, for trouble is hard at hand, and there is none to help me. I stretch forth my hand unto thee, my soul gaspeth unto thee, as a thirsty land; draw nigh unto my soul and save it. O deliver me, because of mine enemies, for my soul is full of trouble, and my life draweth nigh unto hell. Save me from the Lions mouth: Hear me from among the horns of the Unicorns. O set me upon the Rock that is higher than I, for thou art my hope, and a strong Tower for me against the enemy; Why art thou so heavy, O my soul, and why art thou so disquieted within me? put thy trust in God, for I will yet give him thanks, for the help of his countenance. The Lord shall make good his loving kindness towards me; yea, thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever, despise not then the work of thine own hands. O God, thou art my God, early will I seek thee. My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh also longeth after thee, in a barren and a dry Land, where no water is. Like as the Hart desireth the water-brooks, so longeth my soul after thee, O my God. My soul is athirst for God, even for the Living God: When shall I come and appear before the presence of God? How amiable are thy dwellings, O Lord God of Hosts? my soul hath a desire, a longing to enter into the Courts of the Lord. My flesh and my heart rejoyceth in the Living God. O that I had wings like a Dove, for then would I flee away and be at rest. O send out thy Light and thy Truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to thy Hill, and to thy dwelling; for one day in thy Court is better than a thousand elsewhere. I had rather be a door-keeper in the house of the Lord, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness. I should utterly have fainted, but that I believed verily to have seen the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living. Thou art my Helper and my Redeemer, O Lord, make no long tarrying.
A Prayer at the Receiving of the Communion.
O Lord, I am ashamed, and blush to lift up my face to thee, for my iniquities are increased over my head, and my trespass is grown even unto Heaven. I have wrought all these great provocations, and that in the most provoking manner; they have not been only single, but repeated acts of sin; for, O Lord, of all this black Catalogue of sin, which I have now brought before thee, how few are there which I have not often committed? nay, which are not become even habitual, and accustomary to me? and to this frequency I had added both a greediness and obstinacy in sinning, turned into my course, as a horse rusheth into the battel, doing evil with both hands, earnestly; yea, hating to be reformed, and casting thy words behind me, quenching the Spirit within me, which testified against me, to turn me from my evil waies, frustrating all those outward means, whether of judgment or of mercy, which thou hast used to draw me to thy self? Nay, O Lord, even my Repentances may be numbred amongst my greatest sins; they have sometimes been feigned and hypocritical, alwaies so slight and ineffectual; they have brought forth no fruit to amendment of life; but I have added the breach of resolutions and vows to all my former guilt. Thus, O Lord, I am become out of measure sinful, and since I have thus chosen death, the lake and brimstone, this, O Lord, is in justice to be the portion of my Cup; to me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of face eternally, but to thee, O Lord God, belongeth mercy, redemption, and forgiveness: Though I have rebelled against thee, O remember not my sins and offences, but according to thy mercy think upon me, O Lord, for thy goodness. Thou sendest thy Son to seek and to save that which was lost, behold, O Lord, I have gone astray like a sheep that is lost, O seek thy servant, and bring me back to the Shepherd and Bishop of my soul. Let thy Spirit work in me a hearty sense and detestation of all my abominations, and true contrition of heart, which thou hast promised not to despise, and then be thou pleased to look on me, to take away all my iniquity, and receive me graciously; and for his sake who hath nothing amiss, be reconciled unto me, wash away the guilt of my sin in his blood, and subdue the power of them by his grace, and grant, O Lord, that I may from this hour, bid a final adiew unto all ungodliness and worldly lusts, never once more cast a look towards Sodom, or long after the flesh pots of Egypt, but consecrate my self entirely unto thee, to serve thee in Righteousness and true Holiness all the daies of my life, reckoning my self to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God, through Jesus Christ our Lord and blessed Saviour. Amen.
The 51 Psalm is fit to be read upon this Occasion.