Gods Holy Mind Touching Matters Moral, Tract 2 · Part 50
Now to the due respect and due carriage of inferiours towards their superiours, of superiours towards their inferiours, and of equals amongst themselues more particularly.
Quest. How many waies doe certaine persons men or women stand in relation one to another, either as inferiors, or superiours?
Answ Two waies; either in priuate as in the family, or in publike, as in the common wealth.
Of these in Order.
Quest: What is the relation of certaine persons, either of superiority or inferiority in the Familie?
Answ. It is either that which is naturall; as betweene Parents and Children, or that which is by calling and condition, as betweene husband and wife, or betweene Master and Seruants.
Of these seuerally, and first concerning Children.
Quest. VVherein standeth that due respect, and due carriage of children towards their parents?
Answ. It stands in yeelding three things to them.
Reuerence.
Obedience, and
Thankefulnesse.
Quest. VVhat is that Reuerence that Children are to yeeld to their Parents?
Answ. It is two-fold.
Inward, and
Outward.
Quest. What is the inward reuerence that children are to yeeld to their parents?
Answ. This; they are both in minde and in heart to reuerence their parents, by thinking and esteeming reuerently of them; and by louing them and fearing them,Leuit. 19.3. Malac. 1.6. Heb. 12.9. in regard of their authority ouer them; and of Gods Image which they beare as they be parents, be they neuer so meane or poore.
Quest. What is the outward reuerence that children are to yeeld to their parents?
Answ. It is the declaration of their inward reuerence,Gen. 22.7. Gen. 48.12. 1 King. 2.19. by their reuerent behauiour towards them, both in their words and gestures; signified and expressed by giuing them reuerent titles, by bowing their bodies before them, by vncouering of their heads in their presence, if sonnes; by an humble and lowly countenance and carriage, when their parents either speake to them, or they to their Parents.
Quest. May Children kneele before their Parents when they entreat them to pray to God to blesse them?
Answ. Yes, they may; for they may bend and bow downe their whole bodyes before them, as wee may see in the example in the place before alleadged. Gen. 48.12. he did reuerence downe to the ground before his Father; therefore Children may kneele before their parents.
Obiection Isai. 45.23. EueryEvery knee shall bow vntounto mee (saith the Lord) The knees are proper to God alone, therefore kneeling to Parents is not lawfull.
Quest. How shall we answer this?
Answ. Thus; that is meant of religious bowing, reuerence, worship, adoration, and subiection proper to God alone: and not of ciuill reuerence and bowing, which may be giuen to men; as appeares Psal. 22.29. Rom. 14.11. applyed to Christ.
Quest. Are children to reuerence both the Father and the Mother equally?
Answ. Yes, they are; reuerence is equally to be yeelded by Children to their Father and to their Mother as they are Parents; but if any personall gift, or grace of wisedome, or vertue, doe appeare more in the one then in the other; be it in Father or in Mother, in that respect more reuerence is there to be yeelded.
Quest. What is that obedience that Children are to yeeld to their parents?
Answ. This; it is a willing and hearty yeelding (so far forth as children are able) to the voice and to the will of their Parents, a yeelding from the heart willingly as they are able, to that which is said to them by their Parents, or by their Parents willed to be done, or suffered of them.
Quest. Wherein standeth that willing and hearty yeelding of children to the voice, and to the will of their Parents?
Answ. In two things.
Quest. What is the first of those?
Gen. 24.15. Pro. 1.8. Ephes. 6.1.Answ. This; it is a cheerefull yeelding (so farre forth as they are able) to those things which their parents teach, or counsell, or commaund,Coll. 3.20. 1. Sam. 2.25. being things very honest and lawfull though they bee neuer so base or painefull.
Quest. What is the second thing wherein that willing and hearty yeelding of children to the voice and will of their parents standeth?
Answ. This;Prou. 13.1. Prou. 15.5. Heb. 12.9. it is a quiet and a patient suffering of that which their parents doe inflict and lay on them in word or deede, bee it admonition, reproofe, or correction.
Quest. Is a good child to yeeld obedience to a wicked father or mother?
Answ. A good child is to obey his wicked father or mother as they bee parents, and beare the office of father and mother, for so they beare the image of God; but not as they be wicked persons, and command wicked things: for parents are to be obeyed onelyonly in the Lord.Ephes. 6.1.
Quest. Is the sonne being a Magistrate and the father none, or inferiour to him, to yeeld obedience to his father?
Answ. In things that concerne not his place and office being honest and lawfull, the sonne is to yeeld obedience to his father; and in things also that may further him in the execution of his office the sonne is to obey his father as Moses did, Exod: 18.24.Exod. 18.24. But if the father counsell or cōmand any thing against his place and office, then the sonne is not to obey him.
Quest: To which of the parents are children to yeeld obedience, they counselling or commanding diuers or contrary things, yet honest and lawfull things, and such things as may bee yeelded vntounto?
Answ. Obedience is rather to bee giuen to the counsell or commandement of the father, then of the mother; if the father and mother counsell or command diuers or contrary things, because the man is the head of the woman, 1 Cor. 11.3. Ephes. 5.23.and chiefe gouernour of the family.
Quest: Are children to yeeld obedience to the father and mother in law?
Exod. 18.24. Ruth: 3.5. Micha: 7.6. Luk. 2.51.Answ: Yes, they are; obedience is due from children, not onelyonly to naturall parents, but also to step-father, and to step-mother: Christ was subiect or obedient to his supposed father.
Quest. Wherein is that obedience that children are to yeeld to their parents, especially to be expressed?
Answ. In two things being of speciall waite and consequence.
Quest. What is the first of those?
Answ. This; in the choyce of a fit and lawfull calling, children are therein to be directed at the discretion of their parents, and to yeeld to them, they making choyce of a fit and lawfull calling for them. 1. Sam: 8.1.1. Sam. 8.1. Mark: 6.3.Mark: 6.3. Christ before his Baptisme liued vnderunder his father in that calling at the trade of a Carpenter.
Quest. May not children being out of their nonage, being past twelue or foureteene yeeres of age take on them a calling, and enter into an order of religion without the consent and will of their parents: yea, against their consent, as the Papists teach?
Answ. No, they may not; a child, sonne, or daughter is not exempted from obedience to parents at any age, and the father may make voide the vowe of his child, though pertayning to Gods worship. Nom: 30.6.Nomb. 30.6. therefore children are not to enter on a calling without the parents consent.
Quest. What is the second thing wherein the obedience that children are to yeeld to their parents is to be expressed.
Deut: 7.3.Answ. This; in the matter of marriage, children are therein to bee ordered and disposed of by their parents, and in that businesse the parent is the principall agent and disposer of the Childe. Ier: 29.6.Ier: 29.6. 1. Cor: 7.38.1. Cor: 7.38. Gen. 21:21. Gen: 24.3.4.Gen. 21.21. & 24.34. Isaack being forty yeares old was disposed of by his father, Gen: 28.1.2.Gen. 28.1.2. Iudg: 14.1.2.Iudg: 14.1.2. Though Sampson was inflamed with the louelove of a woman of the Philistimes, yet hee durst not take her till shee was giuen him of his Father.
Quest. If the Father command his Sonne or his Daughter to marry being marriageable, is the child to obey the commandement of the Father?
Answ. The Father commanding the child to marry being marriageable, the child is to obey; two things concurring with the commandement of the father.
Quest. What is the first of those?
Answ. This; if the commandement be without compulsion the child being willing to marry,Gen. 24.57.58. for the sonne is not to be compeld to marry against his will, nor the daughter against her will.
Quest. What is the second thing?
Answ. This; if the father command the child onelyonly thus farre, to marry with a person well qualified, of honest life and conuersation and of sound religion, as Isaack commanded Jaacob, Gen: 28.1.2.Gen. 28.i.2. and not with this or that particular person, the childe hauing no minde there to match.
Quest. Are children to bee ordered by their parents, and to hauehave their consent in their second marriages?
Answ. Though the consent and good will of parents in second marriages bee not absolutely necessary; yet it is to be thought fit and conuenient, because children in some regard exempted from parents authoritie, doe not withstanding owe duty to them, and they are to testifie it by being aduised by them in some sort in their after bestowing of themselues in marriage.
Quest. What is that thankefulnesse that children are to yeeld to their parents?
Answ. This; it is not onelyonly an acknowledgement in word of the goodnesse and louelove of their parents towards them, and of their care ouer them for their good: but a care and an endeauour also in children so farre as they are able to answere that goodnesse, louelove, and care of their parents by doing good to them againe.
Quest. Wherein standeth that care and endeauour of children to answere the goodnesse, louelove, and care of their parents by doing good to them againe?
Answ. In foure things.
Quest: What is the first of those?
…ro. 10.1. & 15.…0. …ro. 23.15.16.Answ. This; in yeelding comfort to their parents by their honest and good life: children are to endeau…ur to bring ioy and comfort to their parents by their honest and good carriage.
Quest: What is the second thing wherein stands the care and endeauour of children to answere the goodnesse, louelove, and care of their parents by doing good to them againe?
Gen. 47.12. Ruth. 2.18. 1. Sam. 22.3.4.Answ. This; in succouring and relieuing their parents in case of want: children are according to their ability to relieue their parents being poore, aged, distressed and helpelesse, with food and rayment, and other necessaries. Ioh: 19.26.27.Iohn. 19.26.27. Christ commaunds Iohn to be a sonne to the Virgine Mary his mother,1 Tim. 5.3. and to prouide for her.
Quest. What is the third thing wherein stands the care and endeauour of children to answere the goodnesse, louelove, and care of their parents by doing good to them againe?
1 Tim. 2.1.2.Answ. This; in praying for their parents: children are to pray as for all in authoritie, so especially for their parents.
Quest. What is the fourth thing wherein stands the care and endeauour of children to answere the goodnesse, louelove, and care of their parents by doing good to them againe?
Gen. 48.1. & 25 9. Gen. 35.29. & 50.12.13.Answ. This; in comforting their parents as they are able in time of their sicknesse: and in committing their bodies to the graue being dead, after an honest and seemely manner.
Obiection. Mat: 8.21.22. Christ said to one of his Disciples (who said to him, Suffer mee first to goe to bury my father) follow mee, and let the dead bury their dead: Therefore it may seeme not to bee a duty of children to bury their dead parents.
Quest: How shall we answere this?
Answ. Thus; Christ there speakes comparatiuely, that in comparison of following him, and preaching the Gospell to which that Disciple was called, he should neglect the buriall of his father: therefore Luk. 9.60.Luk. 9.60. Christ saith, Let the dead bury their dead, but goe thou and preach the kingdom of God.
Quest. Is thankefulnesse to bee yeelded by children equally to both parents?
Ans. Yes, it is; children are to shew themselues thankefull as they are able both to father and mother: they being both one, no difference is to be made betweene them in that respect.
Quest. Are base borne children to yeeld reuerence, obedience, and thankefulnes to their parents?
Answ. Such children are by the ciuill law exempted from all dutie and obedience to such parents: and it were iust if such parents as doe violate the law of marriage should receiue no benefit by the fruite thereof: yet their piety is commendable if they performe these duties of their owne accord.
Now concerning Parents.
Quest. Wherein standeth the due respect and the due carriage of parents toward their children?
Answ. It stands in two things, first, in educating and bringing vp their children: and secondly, in a wise disposing of them being brought vp.
Quest. What is that education that parents are to yeeld to their children?
Answ. This it is; parents are to be carefull both of the preseruation of the liues of their children, that their children may both liue and hauehave their liues preserued: and that they may also liue well, and lead a godly life, Ephes. 6.4.Ephes. 6.4.
Quest. Wherein are parents to expresse their care touching the preseruation of the liues of their children?
Answ. In two things especially.
Quest: What is the first of those?
Answ This;Mat. 7.9.10. 1 Tim. 5.8.10. parents are according to their ability to yeeld and to giuegive to their children such competent food and cloathing: and other necessaries as be fit for them, and agreeable to their age: as breast-milke is first to bee giuen of the mother to the infant, and when it is weaned, other food fit for it.
Quest: Is then the mother to giuegive such to her child; and her selfe to nurse it vp?
…en. 21.7. Sam. 1.22. …sal. 22.9. …uke 2.7. …am. 4.3.4.Answ. Yes she is; the mother is her selfe to giuegive such to her owne child, and to wrap it in swadling cloathes: nature it selfe teacheth this dutie, and no meat is more naturall to the child then the mothers milke.
Quest. May not the mother in any case commit her child to a nurse?
…en. 24.59. …nd 35.8. 2. Sam. 4.4.Answ. Yes she may; in case of want of health, or ability or any other iust impediment: the impediment being iust and not pretended out of wantonnesse, nicenesse, trouble or the like.
Quest. What is the second thing wherein parents are to expresse their care touching the preseruation of the liues of their children?
Answ. This; parents are as God giueth them abilitie, by diligence in their callings, and a carefull vse of all good and lawfull meanes, and a wise ordering of their expences, to prouide,1. King. 21.3. Pro. 29.14. 2 Cor. 12.14. and to lay vp somthing for the maintenance of their children in time to come: so as they pinch not themselues in things necessary, nor neglect the doing of that good which they are bound to doe to the Church, common wealth, or poore: and wisely to order and to dispose of those things they hauehave prouided for the good of their children.
Quest. How are parents wisely to dispose of the things they hauehave prouided for the good of their children?
Gen. …5.5.6. Isai. 38.1 Nomb. 27.7.8.Answ. Thus; by disposing of them by will or otherwise, as shall be thought fit in their life time, giuing most to them which are the best of their children, and hauehave most grace in their hea…ts, preferring the sonne deseruing well before the daughter in bestowing of their lands and possessions.
Quest. Wherein are parents to expresse their care in bringing vp their children that they may liue well and lead a godly life?
Answ: In foure things.
Quest. What is the first of those?
Gen 21.3.4. Luk. 1.59.60.61. &c. Luk. 2.21.Answ: This; parents are to be carefull that their children newly borne may with all conuenient speed, and in due order be admitted into the true visible Church of God by baptisme, and hauehave a fit name giuen to it.
Quest. What is the s…cond thing wherein parents are to expresse their care in bringing vp their children?
Answ. This; parents are not onelyonly to teach their children ciuility and good manners, and to traine them vp in learning and humane knowledge and affaires:Deut. 4.10. Deut. 6.7.20.21. Deu. 11.19. but they are also to instruct them in religion, and to endeauour to sow the seeds of godlinesse and Religion in their hearts so soone as they are able to speake,Prou. 22.6. Ephes. 6.4. 2 Tim. 3.15. and come to the vse of reason and vnderstanding: and to endeauour, that as their children grow in yeares, so they may grow and increase in knowledge and grace.
Quest. May parents teach their young children words of pietie, they being not able to conceiue, and to vnderstand the meaning of them?
Answ. Yes they may, and they ought to teach their young children so soone as they are able to heare and speake words, the words and termes of goodnes: they will afterward when they come to more d…scretion, conceiue and remember them,Prou. 22.6. Ephes. 6.4. and that to good vse.
Quest. How are parents to deale in instructing their young children in learning and religion?
Answ. So, as their children may take it with delight: sometimes allowing them in moderate manner to play,Zach. 8. and to vse recreations fitting for their yeares.
Quest. What is the third thing wherein parents are to expresse their care in bringing vp their children, that they may liue well, and lead a godly life?
Answ. This;Kings 1.6…. Prou. 13.24. Prou. 19.18. & 23.13, 14. Hebr. 12 7, 9. parents are to check and to rebuke their children, when they offend and doe amisse, in word to reprooue them discreetly if that will serue the turne; if not, they are t… giuegive them seasonable, due, and moderate correction, 1. Kig. 1.6. Dauid was faultie herein.
Quest. How are parents to order their correction, that i… may be due and moderate?
Ans. Thus; they are as neere as they can to … their correction to the nature and qualitie of the offen… of the child, and to consider how often or seldome the …ild hath so offended, and to corr…ct it with compassion in their hearts, and with a lifting vp their hearts to God in prayer, that he would giuegive them wise hearts to giuegive correction, and the child a soft heart to receiue it patiently, and to profit by it. Ephes. 6.4. Colos. 3.21. They must not be rigorous, lest they bee discouraged.
Quest. What is the fourth thing wherein parents are to expresse their care in bringing vp their children, that they may liue well, and lead a godly life?
…en. 28.1. & 8.15, 16. … Chro. 29.19. …ob 1.5. … Sam. 12.16Answ. This; parents are to pray for the good of their children; and for the blessing of God on their bodies, and on their soules.
Quest. Wherein standeth the wise disposing of children by their parents; their children being brought vp, and now of some riper yeares?
Answ. In two things.
Quest. What is the first of those?
Answ. This; in the choyce of a fit and lawfull calling: parents are to make choyce of a fit and a lawfull calling, and course of life for their children being of some yeares; and to dispose of them in that calling.…enes. 46.34. …nes. 47.3. Gen. 4.2.Genes. 4.2. Adam brought vp one in husbandry, and the other in keeping of sheepe.
Quest. How are parents to bee guided in making choyce of a calling fit for their children?
Answ. By the inclination and gifts of their children: parents are to obserue both the inclination and naturall gifts of body and mind that are in their children, and accordingly to dispose of them in some honest calling: those children that excell in gifts of body, are to bee put to such callings as are to bee performed by the labour of the body;Prou. 20.11. Dan. 1.4. and those that ex…ell in gifts of mind, are to bee applied to those callings that a… performed by wit and learning.
Quest. What if parents finde their children fit for diuers calling▪ what must they then doe?
An…. They are then to make choyce of the best calling, and findin… their children being sons, of pregnant wits, and endued with …e best gifts, they a…e to apply them to the best and most excellen… callings: as Hannah did dedicate Samuel vntounto the Lord all the dayes of his life:1 Sam. 1.11. 1 Cor. 7.21. 1 Cor. 14.1. wee must labour for the best gifts, therefore for the best callings.
Quest. What is the second thing wherein standeth the wise disposing of children by their parents; their children being brought vp, and now of riper yeares.
Answ. This it is, the matter of Marriage:Gen. 21.21. Gen. 24.3, 4. Gen. 28.1, 2. Gen. 38.6. Ierem. 29.6. 1 Cor. 7.36. parents knowing their children to bee marriageable, and not to hauehave the gift of continency; they are to vse their best endeauour to prouide fit matches for them in time; or at the least to aduise them thereunto by themselues, or by their friends.
Quest. How are parents to deale in prouiding fit Marriages for their children?
Ans. Thus;Gen. 24.3, 4. Gen. 27.46. & 28.1, 2. compared. Deu. 7.3, 4 Iosh. 15.16. parents are heerein to hauehave a speciall respect to wisdom and pietie, and as neere as they can to match their children with such as truly feare God.
Quest. May not parents respect riches, & other outward things in bestowing their children in Marriage?
Answ. They may not simply and onelyonly respect riches, and other outward gifts in bestowing their children in mariage;Gen. 6.2. Gen. 29.17, 18 Prou. 31.30. Eccles. 7.13. but if riches and other things concurre with wisedome and pietie, they may in some part respect them, so as wisdom and pietie be chiefly regarded of them.
Quest. May parents bestow their children in Marriage, being young, and not yet marriageable?
Answ. No, they may not;Gen. 24.57. the consent of the parties vponupon soundnes of iudgment is needfull in the matter of Marriage, which young children cannot giuegive.