A Worthy Communicant, Treatise · Chapter 13
Chap. 13. The Examination of Love.
COme we now in the next place to the Examination of Love. There is deceit and hypocriſie in love as well as in faith, Let love, ſayes the Apoſtle, bee without diſsimulation, Rom. 12. 9. or without hypocriſie, foreign. 1 Pet. 1. 22. VntoUnto unfained love of the brethren, foreign, VntoUnto a love of the brethren without hypocriſie. So that there may be hypocriſie in love, and a man may play the hypocrite in his love, as well as in the profeſſion of his faith. God hates hypocriſie whereſoever, as well in the ſecond Table, as the firſt. And therefore requires ſincerity in our love to our brethren, 1 Iohn. 3. 18. My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed, and in truth. Men muſt have love in their tongues, and love in their words, but CHAP. 13 that is not all, men muſt have and ſhew love in their deeds. Love, that is all words and all tongue, and no deeds, is hypocri… ▪ and diſſembling love, Iames 2. 15, …6. There we finde love in words, a loving tongue, but where … deeds? There is no loving hand, Notwithſtanding ye give them not thoſe things, &c. Love that hath a ſmoth and a kinde tongue, and yet hath a withered hand, ſhewes it ſelfe in no good deeds and workes, it is but a fained and a diſſembling love. It is no more than an hypocrite may doe. Nay, a man may have a loving tongue, and be like Nepthali, Gen. 49. 21. Give goodly words, yea, and may doe goodly deeds, not be wanting in outward actions and expreſſions; and yet for all this may play the hypocrite, and his love not be without diſſimulation. Therefore the Apoſtle yet addes one thing more, Let us love in deed and in truth. Therefore there may be words, and tongue, and deeds, and yet not truth. And ſo long as that is wanting, bee there elſe what there will, all is but hypocriſie; words, tongue, and deeds, may bee without truth …uth will never be without them …ve will creep where it cannot goe. That therefore the Apoſtle gives in cha… to elder men, belongs to all, Tit. 2. 2. That the aged men be ſound in faith and charity. It is not enough to be ſound in faith, but we muſt be ſound in love. As faith muſt bee without hypocriſie, 1 Tim. 1. 5. ſo muſt love, Rom. 12. 9. It is dangerous to bee rotten in the faith, it is alſo dangerous to be rotten in our love. It therefore concernes a man as well to examine the truth of his love, as of other graces. Men may doe much and go far in the love of Gods people, and yet not love them as they ought to be loved.
Firſt, they may hold an outward correſpondency with them in outward peace and neighbourhood, they may live quietly by them, and with them, bee free from quarrels, ſuits, contentions, vexations, and oppoſitions againſt them, and in theſe reſpects may keepe faire quarter with them, and yet for all this not love them as godly people are to be loved. Abimelech and Phicol, Gen. 26. 28, 29. deſire to live peaceably and quietly with Iſaac, that there may bee an oath, and a covenant betweene them: But yet theſe being heathens, could not love Iſaac as a godly man ſhould be loved. They departed from him in peace, Verſ. 31. Peace is one thing, and love is another.
2 Secondly, they may preferre, dignifie, advance, and honour them, and yet not love them as godly men ſhould be loved. Beſides Gods ſanctifying graces, there are oftentimes in Gods children other gifts of wiſdome, prudence, learning, fidelity, skill and activity in ſecular imployments. All which may gaine them great reſpect in other mens hearts. So Pharaoh honoured Ioſeph, and we ſee his ground, Gen. 41. 38, 39, 40. So Nebuchadnezzar preferred Daniel, and we ſee his ground, Dan. 2. 47, 48. So Laban ſet Iacob over his flocks, and we ſee his ground, Gen. 30. 27. So many a Maſter loves a godly ſervant, not becauſe he is a good man, but becauſe he is a good ſervant. This is ſelfe-love, they love them, becauſe they love themſelves: ſuch men are for their ends of profit, advantage, &c. and for their turnes; and therefore out of a ſelfe-love, and ſelfe-reſpect, love and reſpect them. That their love of them is not for their godlineſſe, appeares by this, becauſe though there were not one dram of grace and godlineſſe in them, yet for their other abilities ſhould they be no leſſe deere unto them, then now they are with all their graces.
3 Thirdly, they may magnifie them, highly commend and reverence them for good men, and yet not love them as godly men ſhould be loved. Abimelech called Iſaac, The bleſſed of the Lord, Gen. 26. Herod obſerved and reverenced Iohn, Marke 6. The people magnified the beleevers, Acts 5. 13. There were a great many that hated, oppoſed, and vilefied them; but yet among the Iewes there were ſome that were of a more tolerable and equall temper; and though they durſt not goe ſo far, as to joyne themſelves with them, yet thus farre they went, that when others reproached, ſcorned, and calumniated them, they were ready to commend and pleade for them. They would haply thus ſpeake, Well, you may ſay this and that, and ſpeake your pleaſure of them, but when you have ſaid all that ever you can, yet we ſee they be very good people, very conſcionable and godly men, they are … other but what you and we ſhould …. Here was magnifying of them, but yet not loving them as they ſhould have beene loved, becauſe as the Text ſaies, Of theſe no man durst joyne himſelfe to them. All this ariſes not from love, but from the conviction of conſcience, upon the ſight of the luſtre and beauty of their ſhining graces, and upon the experience of the integrity of their wayes. Conſcience convinced cannot but open the mouth to give godly men an honourable teſtimoniall, in magnifying and reverencing them.
4 Fourthly, they may doe them many kinde offices, courteſies, and favours, and yet for all this not love them as godly men are to be loved. Ierobo…m may invite a Prophet to dinner. The very Barbarians did ſhew courteſie to them, Acts 28. 2. and yet were farre enough from this love. Humanity, civility, good nature, and good nurture, may carry men farre in this kinde.
5 Fifthly, they may as honour their lives, ſo deſire their deaths, and yet not love them as godly men ſhould be loved. Balaam deſires the death of the righteous, and that his latter end may be like unto his; and yet Balaam that faine would have curſed Iſrael, was farre enough from the love of a Saint. Many when they ſee a godly mans end, may ſpeake honorably of him, and wiſh, Oh that my ſoule might reſt with his, oh that my ſoule might ſpeed as his, for I am perſwaded he is in heaven; and yet all this while not love a godly man as a godly man ſhould be loved.
6 Sixthly, they may honour the memory of them when dead and gone, and upon all occaſions give them honourable teſtimonialls for their piety, godlineſſe, &c. and yet not love them as godly men ſhould be loved. The Phariſees, Matth. 23. built up the Sepulchres of the Prophets, and ſeemed to ſhew great love to their memorials; and yet if they had beene alive, they would have dealt no better by them than their Fathers did. Thus much may be done, and yet love wanting; that love wanting wherewith a Saint is to be loved. For with ſuch a love muſt a man come to the Sacrament, in which there is ſo ſpeciall an exerciſe of the communion of Saints. Since therefore all this is not enough, let us ſee then what it is that is required more, that our love may bee ſuch, as will qualifie us for the orderly receiving of the Sacrament. True love then to the members of Chriſt, to godly and gracious perſons, may bee thus knowne.
1 Firſt, it loves them as Saints under the relation of brethren, becauſe they be brethren, becauſe they bee ſons of God the ſame Father, ſons of the Church the ſame common mother, and members of Chriſt our elder Brother. When a man loves godly men, not becauſe they be great, rich, learned, wiſe, becauſe they may doe or have done him a pleaſure; but meerely becauſe they have Gods Image upon them, in grace and holineſſe, he loves them, as godly perſons ſhould be loved. When Gods grace in them is the ground, and Gods Image upon them is the Loadſtone of our love, when we love them not becauſe we love our gaine, reſpect, &c. but becauſe we love God, and ſee them to be his, then is our love right, 1 Iohn 5. 2. Hereby wee know that wee love the children of God, and love them as the children of God, bearing Gods Image upon them, when wee love God. That is true love of godly men when our love to them is grounded upon, and flowes from our love to God. On the contrary may it be ſaid of many, that they love not the children of God. No, not love the children of God? Why, I love ſuch and ſuch a man, and you will not ſay but they are the deere children of God. I but by this wee know that men love not the children of God, when men love themſelves, and ſeek their owne baſe ends. It is one thing in ſome ſort to love a man that is a childe of God, and another to love him becauſe he is a childe of God. It is one thing to love a godly man, and another becauſe he is a godly man. A man may love one who is a Scholler and a Preacher, but yet not love him becauſe he is a Scholler or a Preacher; nay, it may be he could love him a great deale better if he were neither. The Apoſtle ſpeakes of love out of a pure heart, 1 Tim. 1. 5. And S. Peter of loving the brethren with a pure heart, 1 Pet. 1. 22. When love is pure, it is true. Then it is pure love, when it ſprings from none other Fountaine but the lovelineſſe of Gods grace and Image, in thoſe whom we love.
2 Secondly, true love to the children of God, and to Saints; it loves ſuch above all others, the beſt of all others, 1 Pet. 2. 17. Honour all men, love the brotherhood. There is a love, and a reſpect to be given to all men, according to their relations, worth, quality, &c. but yet true Chriſtian love beſtowes its Beniamins portion, the ſpecialty, and choiſe of its affection upon godly ones. It loves a godly religious man better than a learned man; and the more godly a man is, it loves him the more. Doe good to all, but ſpecially to the houſhold of faith, Gal. 6. So love all men in their order and degree, but let your brotherly love, your heartieſt and ſweet affection, be towards ſuch as are brethren. Love the brother-hood. A love of the brother-hood muſt be a brotherly love, a love as to brethren. In a Family, a man loves all the ſervants, but yet he beares a more ſpeciall neereneſſe and deereneſſe of affection to his brethren, than to ſervants, 1 Pet. 3. 8. Love as brethren. We reade of a young man, Mark. 10. that came running to Chriſt, and enquiring how he might inherit eternall life. And we reade of Lazarus whom Chriſt raiſed from the dead, Ioh. 11. It is ſaid of both, that Chriſt loved them: of the rich young man, Marke 10. 21. Then Ieſus beholding him, loved him: of Lazarus, Iohn 11. 3. Lord, he whom thou loveſt is ſick. Now the young man was a Phariſee, only he had ſome candour and ingenuity in him, more than uſually was in Phariſaicall ſpirits, and ſo farre Chriſt loved him, ſhewed loving reſpect and carriage towards him. But now Lazarus was a godly and an holy man, and therefore Chriſt loved him with a more ſpecialty of affection. He loved the one as a morall faire conditioned man, that had ſome good deſires and inclination towards good; but he loved Lazarus deerely, and intimately, as a godly and a good man, with ſuch ſpecialty of affection, that it was enough to know him without his Name, by Chriſts love to him; The man whom thou lovest. By this try the truth of thy love: Whom loveſt thou beſt? Have the beſt men the beſt of thine affection? Are thoſe deereſt to thee, who are deereſt to God? the beſt evidence that can be of the truth of thy love. But this proves many to want this love, and that they love not the godly as godly men ſhould be loved, what ever their profeſſions and proteſtations of love be. For let it be granted that they love them, yet let it bee enquired whom they love beſt, to whom their hearts and affections are cloſeſt knit. Looke upon thoſe that are deepeſt in their affections, and judge whether they be at the beſt, more than morall and civill; and whether thoſe that be godly and religious have halfe that affection and love that meere civill perſons have. Thou doeſt not love godly men beſt, therefore thy love is hypocriticall; thou loveſt a morall man better than one that is religious, therefore thy love is with diſſimulation.
3 Thirdly, true love loves as the Coloſsians did, Gol. 1. 4. It loves all the Saints. Where grace is the ground of love, where ever grace is, there is love, as fire ſtill followes the fuell. Grace hath the ſame beauty in all; and if grace be the attractive of affection, it drawes affection to all in whom it is. The love that is amongſt Gods Saints is compared to the ointment that was powred upon Aarons head, Pſal. 133. 2. It was powred upon his head, but it reſted not there, it ran alſo downe upon his beard, nay, it ran downe to the skirts of his garments. So the love that is among the Saints, it diffuſes it ſelfe to all the members of Chriſt, it runs not only upon the head and beard, but upon the skirts of the garments to the very loweſt and meaneſt of Gods people in whom there is grace. It excludes not any whom God hath received, Rom. 14. 3. deſpiſes not any whom God hath choſen, Iames 2. 5, 6. Love the brotherhood, ſayes S. Peter. He doth not ſay, love a brother, or ſuch of the brethren, but love the brother-hood, the whole fraternity, ſociety, and company of the Saints, the whole brood and brother-hood of Gods people. Try thy love by this. He that loves a godly man for his grace, that hath no other thing to commend him, neither friends, nor riches, nor credit, nor profit, that can love poore godlineſſe, as well as rich godlineſſe, that can love grace in rags, as well as in robes, in ruſſet and leather, as well as in ſilkes and velvets; ſuch a love to all Saints is a good evidence of truth of love. But when men love onelyonly ſome great and rich ones that have grace, and regard not meaner ones though gracious, it is a ſigne that it is not true love. Yea, it is a blameable errour in many, that though their love be indeed to the godly, yet it is with a kinde of confinement only to ſome as worthy of their communion and affection. It is not to be denied, but that a man may love ſome godly men more than otherſome. Chriſt himſelfe had his beloved Diſciple, and wee ſhall finde that thrice Chriſt ſhewed ſome ſpeciality of favour and affection to three of them above the reſt, Luke 8. 51. He ſuffered none to goe in, ſave Peter, Iames, and Iohn. Luk. 9. 28. in his transfiguration he tooke up with him onelyonly Peter, Iames and Iohn. And in his agony when he ſequeſtered himſelf from the reſt of his Diſciples, yet he takes theſe three along with him, Mat. 26. 37. But yet ſuch a confinement of our affection to ſome choiſe ones, as goes with a contempt or plaine neglect, and excluſion of others of meaner abilities and graces, is an unwarrantable thing, ſuch as will not be allowed by this ſigne of love now inſtanced in.
4 Fourthly, true love loves and delights in the fellowſhip and ſociety of the godly. Love the brother-hood ſayes S. Peter. He doth not ſay, love the brethren, but love the brother-hood, that is, as ſome expound it, the fellowſhip of the brethren, and ſo our former tranſlation reades it, Love brotherly fellowſhip. Brother-hood implyes ſometimes fellowſhip, as Zech. 11. 14. I will breake the brother-hood betweene Iudah and Iſrael. The naturall relation between them could not be broken, but their mutuall ſociety and fellowſhip ſhould be broken, they ſhould be divided and diſperſed each from other. So then, they that love the godly, love their brother-hood, their company, their conference and communion with them. This evidence… t… truth of Davids love, Pſal. 1…. 3. All my delight is in the Saints on earth, my delight is in their company and conference. Many in the world magnifie the Saints in heaven; yea, ſome over▪magnifie them, whileſt they would give divine worſhip to them; but in the meane time make little account of the Saints on earth, nay, hate them, impriſon, kill, and burne them, Apoc. 13. 7. but David delights in the Saints on earth. Pſal. 119. 63. I am a companion of all them that feare thee, and of them that keepe thy precepts. Try then, where lyes thy delight? What is the company and ſociety thou affecteſt? If it be the ſociety of the godly, thy love is to them. But this diſcovers the hypocriſie of many mens love. They doe love godly men with all their hearts. But yet examine who be their companions, and marke who they be in whoſe ſociety they delight, and are they ſuch as are godly and religious? Take they not more delight in the fellowſhip of drunkards, vaine and …thy perſons? Is not godly company the moſt irkeſome, weariſome thing in the world to them? What can cleere it more, that men love not the godly. It may be thou commendeſt them, and ſpeakeſt all good of them; but if thou joyne not in ſociety with them, thou doeſt but as thoſe before ſpoken of, Acts 5. 13. They gave the beleevers good words, but they durſt not joyne themſelves unto them. It may be thou ſpeakeſt not againſt them, not becauſe thou loveſt them, but becauſe thou loveſt thy ſelfe, that they may not ſpeake againſt thee. It may be thou ſpeakeſt well of them, and all becauſe with good words thou wouldeſt buy good words againe. This is love in word, in tongue, but not in deed and in truth. Look where thy delight and company is, there is thy love.
5 True love is hardly angred, eaſily pleaſed. Hardly angred, 1 Cor. 13. 4. Charity ſuffers long. Verſ. 5. It is not eaſily provoked. It will ſuffer long, and beare much, ere it will break. It may be provoked, but not eaſily. Eaſily pleaſed, 1 Cor. 13. 4. Charity is kind, Iames 3. 17. The wiſdome that is from above, is gentle, eaſily to be intreated. God is love (ſayes the Apoſtle, 1 Iohn 4. 8. And God is ſlow to anger, Pſ. 103. 8. He ſuffers long, Exod. 34. 6. He is not eaſily provoked. And he is eaſily reconciled. Pſal. 103. 9. Neither will he keepe his anger for ever. Nay, not eaſily to be intreated, but he intreates and beſeeches us, the offending parties, to bee reconciled, 2 Cor. 5. 20. Now what makes God ſo ſlow to anger, ſo quick, ſo eaſie to be appeaſed? Becauſe God is love. It is the nature of love ſo to be, and love is his nature. The Apoſtle preſſes Chriſtians to two ſpeciall things, Col. 3. 13. For bearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrell againſt any. I but theſe bee hard things to bee done, how ſhall a man come to be able to doe theſe things? Therefore the Apoſtle teaches us a way how to doe it in the very next verſe and words, And above all things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectneſſe. The way to do theſe things, is to get charity and love. Mark then the nature of love. It is not eaſily provoked, it is hardly angred, it is a forbearing grace. It is eaſie to be pleaſed. It is a forgiving grace. It is hardly angred, becauſe it forbeares. It is eaſily pleaſed, becauſe it forgives. Love is a forbearer, and a forgiver. Try thy ſelfe by this. If thou art exceeding loth to be provoked, ſuffereſt much, and ſuffereſt long, and art willing to beare, till the number and weight of the burthens grow ſo heavie and unſupportable, that thy back is ready to breake before thou complaine. If thou art willing to ſwallow injuries and wrongs one in the neck of another, ſo long as they are ſwallowable, that they would not choake or poiſon thee if thou ſhouldeſt offer to ſwallow any more (for no charity bindes a man openly to wrong himſelfe) ſuch forbearance argues that thou haſt put on charity. If offences be given thee, and wrong, groſſe wrong done thee, yet if thou canſt readily, cheerefully, willingly, and cordially forgive, it is a good ſigne of true love. But how farre are many from the truth of this grace in their hearts, who are eaſily off the hookes, and preſently provoked, and all to peeces upon a ſmall offence given; nay, it may be upon no offence given at all, only upon an accidentall ſlip, or a faile in a formality and complement. No forbearance argues ſmall charity. As far are they from love that are of implacable, irreconcileable ſpirits; once loſt, and loſt for ever, whom no kindneſſes can overcome, whom no ſatisfactions can appeaſe, nor no wiſdome can ſet in joynt againe.
Queſt. But what if a man have done me wrong, and diverſe wayes injured me by offenſive carriages; whether am I bound to forgive him or no, hee ſeeking no reconciliation with me. Am I bound to forgive, where forgiveneſſe is not ſought, and muſt I ſtay from the Sacrament becauſe I have not forgiven one that wrongs me, and ſeekes not peace.
Anſw. In forgiving of an offender there be three things:
1 The letting fall of al wrath, malice, and deſire of revenge.
2 The teſtification of forgiveneſſe. A ſolemne profeſſion of remiſſion.
3 The re-acceptance, and re-admiſſion of an offendour into former ſociety, communion, and familiar converſe.
For the firſt. A man is bound to forgive in that reſpect whether the party offending aske forgiveneſſe, or aske it not. A man muſt ſo forgive as that he muſt beare no malice, nor nouriſh any thoughts of revenge. For though mine adverſary ſinne in his obſtinacy, yet his ſin will not warrant me to ſin in malice, and thoughts of revenge. If mine enemy will not doe that which belongs to him, yet I may not doe that which belongs to God. Therefore for matter of revenge, and malice, we muſt alwayes forgive: and unleſſe a man doe ſo forgive as to let fall all malice and thoughts of revenge, he ſins in comming to the Sacrament.
For the ſecond. Our Saviour gives a rule, Luke 17. 4. If he treſpaſſe againſt thee ſeven times in a day, and ſeven times in a day turne againe unto thee, ſaying, It repents me, or I repent, thou ſhalt forgive him. He doth not ſay, If thy brother offend againſt thee ſeven times, thou ſhalt forgive him ſeven times: but if he ſay, I repent. Whether he ſay ſo, or not, I muſt forgive him in regard of malicious and vindictive thoughts. But I am not bound to teſtifie my forgiving him, and to ſay to him, I forgive thee, unleſſe he ſay, I repent. To forgive is one thing, and to ſay I forgive and make a ſolemne profeſſion of remiſſion is another.
For the third. A man is not bound in that particular to forgive till juſt ſatisfaction be given. Satisfaction being duly given, I muſt forgive ſo far, but ſatisfaction obſtinately denied, I may refuſe ſociety and fellowſhip with him. Religion bindes not to receive an enemy into boſome communion: now ſo long as he ſtands out in his enmity, he can be interpreted to be none other, ſo long as hee ſayes not, It repents him: yea, and though a man doe not forgive in theſe two caſes, yet may he with a good conſcience come to the Sacrament. And therefore marke how our Saviour ſpeakes, Matth. 5. 23, 24. If there thou remembreſt that thy brother hath ought againſt thee, go thy wayes and bee firſt reconciled, &c. He doth not ſay, If there thou remembreſt that thou haſt ought againſt thy brother. Thereby ſhewing that the barre is againſt the party delinquent, and that a perſon receiving injury and wrong, ſo he come without malice, and forgive in the firſt reſpect, is not debarred Gods ordinance, though he remit not in both the laſt, juſt ſatisfaction not being tendred upon wrong done.
6 Sixthly, true love loves fervently: fervent love, and unfained love are joyned together, 1 Pet. 1. 22. True love will abound and increaſe more and more, 1 Theſſ. 4. 10. Yee love all the brethren, but we beſeech you that ye increaſe more and more. It ſets it ſelfe no ſint nor bounds, it is ready and willing to give and take all occaſions, for increaſe and confirmation. As fire is not only ready to kindle, when blowne, but ready to catch of it ſelfe any combuſtible matter being miniſtred. True love hates all hypocriticall reſervations, and lets out it ſelfe to the giving and imbracing of all opportunities that may prove incentives to it. Thereby try and examine the truth of thy love. A ſparke will kindle to a flame if it bee true. But this one thing diſcovers a great deale of hallow-hearted hypocriticall love in the world. There bee that for their turnes and ends can doe more, and diſpenſe further than they will for God and his Commandement: if God and his Commandement, and coales heaped upon their heads, call for the letting fall of their ſtomacks, they cannot ſtoope to it, nay, with ſcorne and pride of ſpirit, reject tenders and offers of love. But if ſome end of their own to be compaſſed, or turn of their own to be ſerved, then they can make a ſhift to make ſome ſhewes of love and deſire of friendſhip; but yet with reſolutions to keepe a faire diſtance, that there ſhall never bee an intire knitting, and mutuall cloſing of affections; and therefore ſet themſelves bounds, and a ſtint, beyond which they are reſolved never to paſſe. They will not be wanting in common courteſies, civill correſpondencies, but yet for intireneſſe, and intimate familiarity, will be ſure to block up the way thereto, by affected diſtances, and reſervations of themſelves. They will be pardoned for familiarity, that is more than needs. A carriage faire to the worlds eye, that the world ſhall not ſee but all is well, they will frame to, but further they reſolve never to goe. Surely they were as good ſay, they will play the hypocrites with men, and that their love ſhall be with diſſimulation. For love which ſets it ſelfe bounds and bars, beyond which it will not ſtep, that love ſteps not beyond hypocriſie. That love which will not kindle, which will neither bee blowne to a flame, nor take flame, it is love diſſembled. True fire, though it bee ever ſo little a ſpark, may be blowne and be brought to a flame; but all the blowing in the world will never make painted fire burne. Such perſons are but like Salomons ſilverd potſheard, Prov. 26. 23. Burning lips and a wicked heart, are a potſheard covered with ſilver droſſe. What ever faire ſilverly ſhewes they make, they are potſheards ſlubbered over with droſſe. Such love as is not fervent, is fained. So much for the examination of love.