The Mystery of Self-Deceiving, Chapter 6
CHAP. VI.
Of the deceits of the temporary beleeuers sorrowes, and desires.
THe deceits that are in the temporaries faith 2 His repentance.thus opened, wee come in the next place to speake of his deceits in the matter of repentance. Where it cannot be denied, but that he may go very farre in the probable resemblance of repentance; insomuch as he himselfe, as wel as others, may think hee hath in truth repented: To examine this more particularly, in the particulars of repentance, and first in that which is inward, and then in that which 1 Inward, in hisis outward therein;
1. For the inward practise of repentance, there are two speciall things wherein hee deceiues himselfe, Sorrow, Desire. The former respecting time past: the latter time present and to come.
1. For his sorrow, he is wondrous wide: hee feeleth, 1 Sorrowno doubt, oftentimes some remorse, the prickes and stings of an accusing conscience, as it were the arrowes of the almighty sticking in his ribbes: and hereupon concludes hee hath his part in godly sorrow. But exceeding falsely, and deceitfully: For who feele greater gripes, and pangs of vpbraiding, proued false.and vexing consciences then doe the Diuels themselues, and the most desperate reprobates? so that if this reason were good, they also should hauehave godly sorrow. Indeed these compunctions of heart, these horrors, and terrors in the elect are a notable preparatiue to godly sorrow; and they are as the prickes of the needle making way for the thred: as we may see in the example of that troupe of Saint Peters conuerts: neuerthelesse they Acts 2. 37.are to be distinguished from repentance it selfe, as being common to the reprobate, with the elect. Therefore as the sicke patient should deciue himselfe in thinking he had taken a sufficient purge, because he hath taken a preparatiue; or as hee should deceiue himselfe, that should thinke hee were entered farre enough into the house, that standes only in the entry, in the porch: so doth here our temporarie delude his soule, mistaking some preparatory, and introductorie workes vntounto repentance for repentance it selfe, For notwithstanding those penitentiaries in the Actes were miserablie wracked, and tormented in conscience, & felt the two edged sword of the spirit piercing through their soules, yet when they demaunded of Peter what they should doe, namely to be eased of their present distresse, recei-this answer, Repent; belike then they had not repented Vide Bucerum in Math. 4.as yet, for all the smart of their rubbing, and galling consciences. Nay marke how Peter prescribes repentance as the only soueraigne remedie to releeue them in that their agonie. Loe then yet a fouler and grosser deceit, to take the disease for the remedie, to think that because they hauehave the wound cureable only by the balme of Gilead, therefore they hauehave the balme it selfe. So also our Sauiour calleth such as are in this case, men heauie laden and wearied Math. 11. 28.with the burthen of sinnes guilt, and bids them come vntounto him. A man therefore may be burthened with the sense of sin, and yet (as yet) not come to Christ. Yea there is as great difference betwixt being thus heauie loaden & comming to Christ, as betwixt hauing a burthen on ones backe & the hauing of it taken off: for therfore doth Christ cal such to come vntounto him, that by this meanes they might be eased. And yet more plainely doth our Sauiour cleare this, when he saith that he came to call sinners (vnderstand it of sinners laden with the burthen of their sins, seeing and bewailing their miserie) to Repentance. Therefore to feele ones selfe a sinner, & to be touched with the sense of our misery, is not alwaies Repentance. And in the place forealleaged Math. 11. 28. hee bids such as are laden with sinne, that is, such as feele the smart of sins guilt pressing the conscience, euen these he bids to learne humilitie: which shewes that a man may be affected with some sense of sinne, and yet not truly humbled in godly sorrow. But that his deceit, in thinking Mat. 9. And discouered by the marks of godly sorrow.he hath godly sorrow, may the better appeare, let vsus briefely examine it by the properties of godly sorrow.
First, Godly sorrow respects the sinne more than which are 1. To respect the sinne mostthe punishment, and maketh the repenting sinner to be of this minde, that hee care not what outward punishment he indured, so that he might feele the guilt of his sinne washed out of his conscience, and behold the louing countenance of God in Christ. The voice of godly sorrow is that of Dauid, Take away the trespasse of thy seruant. It is the trespasse he 2. Sam, 24.would hauehave taken away: for as for the punishment, how hee stood affected, let his owne words afterward witnesse, when he speakes thus to God, let thine hand be vponupon mee and my fathers house. But it is only the punishment either felt, or feared that causeth that howling and crying, which sometimes is in the wicked temporarie, as in Esau, Ahab, Iudas &c. The voice of this base sorrow is that of Pharaoh, take away this plague, namely of the outward scourge, not, take away this hard heart, a greater plague then any, yea then all the ten plagues. Marke the difference betwixt Pharoh and Dauid, the slaues griefe, which is for the whip, and the sonnes, which is for offending his kind and louing father. The one is the griefe of louelove, the other of feare and hatred.
Secondly, Godly sorrow is lasting and durable. My 2. Durablenesse. Psal. 51. 3.sinne, saith Dauid, is euer before me. Their humiliation is a continuall act, renewed daily; insomuch that, if they sometime through weakenesse omit it, they recompense it with an extraordinary measure thereof afterward. The Prophet elsewhere complaineth that his teares weare as his ordinarie food, which Psal. 42. 3.if men omit one day, they eate the more for it the next. But the sorrow of these temporaries is agueish, and comes only by fittes and startes. Yet heerein not agueish, that agues are constant in their fittes, and some of them hold long: these sorrowes are very vncertain and momentanie. They may be sometimes, as a graue diuine speaketh, sermon-sick, but no otherwise, then men are sea-sick, who are presently well againe, when they come to shoare. Heere then is the deceit of the temporarie, that thinkes he hath sorrowed enough, if that at any time he feele any panges of these passions, any qualmes of griefe, any smal workings of sorrow to disquiet him but a litle. A like, as if one, feeling the flesh to smart, after the playster newly applied to the soare, should presently take off the playster, and thinke it had wrought enough; whereas the playster must ly on still, till it hauehave eate out the corruption wholy. And so must this corrosiue of godlie sorrow, applied once to the festered sores of our sinnes still remaine with vsus till they be throughly healed, that is to our dying day; and then all teares, euen the teares of godly sorrow it selfe, shall be wiped away, but not before.Reuel, 7, 17. 3 Driuing to God.
Thirdly, godly sorrow, yea the very first seedes, and preparations thereof, those terrours, and horrours, that are in the consciences of the elect, they still driue them to God, and fit them for the hand of God, to be wrought and framed thereby. As wee may see in them whom Peters Sermon pricked. Their wound made them seeke for physicke, and draue them to the Physition, to the men and ministers of God. Now Iudas also had his terrours of conscience. So also had Saul his. But whether did they driue them? The former not to Christ, but to the enemies of Christ, the high Priests, and the Diuell, to whom he went, when he went to the halter. The latter also, not to praier, not to God, not to the men of God, but to musick, to the harpe, and at the last to the witch of Endor, to the Diuell. So they draue Cain to the building of Cities, thinking Gen, 4, 17.to deceiue those terrors by that imployment of his minde. Thus alwaies doth the temporarie, when God shootes this arrowe into the side of his conscience, fly from him, as a dogge from him that striketh him with a cudgell, and seekes any where rather for reliefe than at his hands: for such is his despaire whereof he is swallowed vp, and such is his desperate malice & hatred against God in this case, that he cannot so much as whisper the least syllable to him. It is otherwise with the elect of God. Paul Acts 9.being fearefully wounded and confounded in his minde, could yet then say to that God that did all that vntounto him, Lord what wouldest thou hauehave mee to doe?
Fourthly, Godly sorrow worketh repentance, a 4 To renew vsus. 2. Cor 7. 10.change and alteration of heart, causing vsus to hate sinne and louelove righteousnesse. And the reason is, for that in godly sorrow the heart is moulten and wholly liquefied and dissolued, and so being made soft and tender, receiueth the stamp and impresse of Gods spirit. But in these our Temporaries no such matter. They may other while shead a few whorish teares, and hang downe the head like a bulrush for a daie, Esay 58. 5.with those Iewes: but filthie swine that they are, after they hauehave washed themselues (in the waters, one would hauehave thought, of repentance) they returne presently to their wallowing in the mire of their former filthinesse. Ahab fastes, and pinches his carcase 1. Kings 21. 27with sack-cloath, and goes creeping and crouching; but had he euer truely repented for oppressing of poore Naboth, would he so soone after hauehave fallen into the same sinne of oppression, in the vniust imprisonment of the holy Prophet Micaiah? 1. Kings 23. 26Where the circumstance of the person oppressed addeth weight to the sinne. If it had beene true repentance, his hand would not still hauehave remained bloudie, nor his eare vncircumcised, to distast the wholesome Prophecies of faithfull Micaiah. Esau, euen Gen. 27. 34. 36.in the midest of his yelling, falsely accuseth Iakob his brother for cosenage, seeketh to hauehave a blessing seuered from his brothers, and carrieth a vindictiue minde against him, purposing to murther him. Yea Foelix, when stroken with the maiestie of Acts 24. 26. 27the word in Pauls mouth, so that he trembled again for feare, yet euen then he remained the same couetous Felix that before: at that very instant he trembled, hee coueted, and expected a bribe of Paul, when he gaue Paul some occasion, to expect repentance of him. Thus also when Gods threatnings in the ministerie of Moses wrung teares out of the Num. 14. 39. 40. Deut. 1. 40. 41.Israelites eies; yet they could not wring rebellion out of their hearts: for being threatned to die in the wildernesse for their thoughts of returning into Egypt, and therefore commanded not to go the next way to Canaan, but to back againe into the desert, that so the denounced sentence might be executed; they seemed much to be moued herewith, & humbled themselues in weeping and confession of their sinnes: but yet for all this, they would by no means be perswaded to obey the commandement of not going on strayt foreward toward Canaan. The like is to be thought of Iudas his griefe: for all that, still he remained the same old Iudas that before. There was not any true hatred of his sinne wrought in his heart; for then he would not hauehave added murther to murther. Nay, if he had liued, he would hauehave bin readie to hauehave played some such new pranke. Thus is it with all temporaries. Though they shead riuers of teares, though they water their couches, and euen bathe, and soake themselues in this salt brine, yet for all this they remaine vnseasoned and vnmortified. Their leopards spottes still remaine vnwashen, their blackamores hide vnchanged. But godly sorrowe is of that nature, that the soule, once drenched, and In the elect.baptized with the teares thereof, receiueth such a tincture, and die of grace, that will neuer after out. There is no distillation of herbes so pretious for the curing of bodily, as this of godlie sorrowes teares for the healing our soules infirmities. The aire is not so cleared, when the cloud is dissolued by raine, as the minde when the cloudes of our iniquities are dissolued by the raine of repenting teares, These waters are the red sea, wherein the whole armie of our sins is drowned. But for that these waters in the temporarie are but shallow, and want their iust depth, therefore his sinnes are not choaked, but rather deliciously bathed therein. And so much for the temporaries sorrow.
His desires are noe lesse deceitfull. Desire is reckned 2. Desires, discouered. 2. Cor. 7. 11.by Paul among the fruites, or partes of repentance. And in temporaries there seeme oft times to be good motions, dispositions, and desires after good things. They in the Gospell, hearing the excellent discourse of our Sauiour concerning the heauenly Manna, cried out, as affected therewith, Lord euermore Ioh. 6.giuegive vsus of this bread. And Agrippa was so farre wrought vponupon by Paul, that hee said, Thou almost persuadest me to become a Christian. But these desires Act. 26. 28.of the temporarie are not sound. For
1 True desires are no faint desires, but such as By their 1. faintnesse.make vsus faint, they are so eager and earnest; like the desires of couetous men, who with Ahab will bee sick for their neighbours vineyard, they long for it so desirously. And therefore the Apostle saith, Couet 1 Cor, 14, 1.after spirituall things; yea like the desire of Rabel after children, which made her say, GiueGive mee children Psal, 43, 1.or I dye. See it in Dauid, Like as the heart braieth after the riuers of water, so doth my soule after thee O God. And gaine, My soule desireth after thee like the thirsty Psalm, 143, 7. Psalm. 81, 10. Psal, 119. 20.ground. But our temporaries desires are nothing so strong: hee doth not, as God commands, open his mouth wide, he cannot say with Dauid, My heart breketh for desire to thy iudgements, nor with the church Cant, 2, 5.Iam sicke of louelove, nor as Sisera in his naturall thirst, I dye for thirst, giuegive me drinke: for this is the nature of strong and feruent desires, to bee so impatient of delay, that they commonly verifie Salomons Prouerbe, Pro, 13, 12.The hope that is deferred is the fainting of the soule. Therefore our Sauiour blesseth indeed those Math, 5. 4. 6.that hunger, and thirst for his righteousnesse, but yet such as hunger and thirst in mourning, which was that he required before vntounto blessednesse: the blessed desires then are onelyonly those, which are so affectionate, that they make the desirer to mourn, feeling his desire not to bee fulfilled: but now our temporary, though he desire grace, yet he feeles no harty greefe in the want of grace, this neuer troubles him, it neuer breakes his sleepe. Therefore his desires are not right.
2. True desires of good things are exceeding 2. Lazinesse.painfull and laborious, in auoiding all hinderances, and in vsing all good helpes, and furtherances. Therfore our Sauiour compares them to the naturall desires of hunger, and thirst. Now hunger, as wee say, will breake through a stone wall; it wil make a man eat Mat, 5, 4.his owne flesh, rather then to be sterued. And Dauids thirst made him venter the liues of his three worthies. In nature the concupiscible facultie is seconded with the irascible, our desire is backed with our anger; so that beeing crossed in our desires, our anger presently is vp in armes, and laboureth the remoouall of that which crosseth. So fire beside its light, wherby it desireth as it were the highest place, hath also heat, to consume all obstacles that withstand his ascent. But now our temporaries desires are nothing else but idle, lazie, and lusking wishes, such as the sluggards, whereof Salomon thus speaketh. The desire of the sluggard slaieth him: for his hands refuse to Pro, 21, 25, 2…worke. And againe, The sluggard lusteth, but hath nought. Why? because the Lion in the way terrifieth Pro, 13, 5.him, the toyle of working skares him: he would faine hauehave meat, but he will not worke: and so those in the Gospell would faine hauehave the heauenly bread Lord euermore giuegive vsus of this bread, but they will not, Ioh, 6; 34. 35, 36.as Christ tels them, take the pains to come vntounto him by faith for it: for God hath appointed that as in the naturall, so also in the spirituall life, In the sweate of thy browes shalt thou liue. But our sluggish temporary will none of that, hee desires and desires, but still lies lusking in his bedde, gaping and stretching himselfe: like the doore that turnes vponupon the hinges, but yet hangs still vponupon them, it comes not off for al the turnings; so hee for all the turnings of his heart in faint and weake desires, still hangs fast vponupon the hinges of his sinnes, and cannot possibly come out of the power of iniquity: seeing many rubbes in the way of his desires, he hath no spirit, or courage to go about to remoue them, to breake through the host of the spirituall Philistimes, for the getting of the spirituall waters: He can wish with Balaam, O that Num, 23, 10.my soule might dye the death of the righteous: but hee doth not alike desire the life of the righteous. If hee desire vertue, yet not the meanes that should bring him to it, and thus desiring vertue hee pines and perishes Virtutem ex…ptant, contab…scuntque r…l…cta. Pers.in the want of it: hell mouth it selfe, as one saies, is full of such slight and sloathfull wishes. Such as were his in the Gospell, that hearing Christs heauenly discourse, cryed out, affected therewith, Blessed are they that eat bread in the kingdome of God. But, as our Sauiour there shewes in his answer, they suffer Luc, 14, 15.eueryevery light occasion of farms, oxen, wiues to detaine them. And soe as the temporaries desire is an idle, so also is it a disobedient desire, that will not submit it selfe to Gods commaundement in the vse of the meanes: but the true beleeuers desire is laborious and so dutifull, subiecting it selfe to the vse of the meanes commanded, and as earnestly desiring these meanes, as the end it selfe; as Dauid, when rauished Psalm. 119, 5.with the meditation of the good mans blessednesse, presently conceiued this desire, not, O that I had this happinesse, but O that I could vse the means to Psalm, 119, 20bring mee to this happinesse, O that my waies were so directed, that I might keepe thy statutes, and againe, my heart breaketh for desire to thy [iudgements.]
3. True desires are constant, as in Dauid in the 3 Ficklenesse.words last mentioned, my heart breaketh for desire to thy iudgements alwaies. The reason is, because true desires are insatiable. The good Christian though he hauehave neuer so much grace, yet still feeles his wants, and the more hee hath, the more hee desires, and when these spirituall riches increase (contrarie to Dauids prohibition in the temporall) he sets his Psalm, 62, 10.heart vponupon them: And therefore still his soule imitateth the horseleeches voice, that cry, giuegive, giuegive: but the desires of the temporarie, though sometimes for Prou, 30.the time they may seeme violent, yet at length they vanish away as the morning dewe; as God himselfe censureth those good affections, which seemed to bee in the Israelites. The motions, and affections, Ose. 6. 1. 4.which he hath in good thinges, are not much vnlike to those which the true beleeuer hath sometimes in euill. For as hee in temptation sometimes may bee tickled, and feele some pricking in his desires to the way of wickednes; as once Dauid when he began to entertaine those thoughts, I hauehave washed my hands in innocency in vaine: yet in conclusion he quenches those thoughts, and so mockes Sathan, to whom he made faire of comming to him, as Dauid did, when for all his beginning to yeeld, yet in the end he came in with that But, or yet: yet, for all that I saide erewhile, God is good &c: so this our temporary though otherwhile he may hauehave, as we say, a months minde to godlinesse, and with Agrippa bee halfe perswaded to bee a Christian, yet the conclusion is, I will not leaue my former course, and so he mockes God, whom he bore in hand, that hee would become his disciple.