The Mystery of Self-Deceiving, Chapter 25
CHAP. XXV.
Of the deceitfulnesse of our sorrow, desire, and confidence.
IV AFfection is sorrow. Where there is a twofold 4. Sorrow. Deceit. 2.deceit. 1. When wordly sorrow shroudes it selfe vnderunder the countenance of godlie, vexation, of humiliation. Come to many in their afflictions, and reproue them for their carnall sorrow, and their answer is ready, when Gods hand is gonne out against vsus for our sins should we not be humbled? yes, for your sinne. But loe the deceitfulnesse of your heart. It is the punishment that grieues you, not the sinne, the Surgions playster, not thine owne sore. You grieue not at the punishment, because of the sinne deseruing it: but at the sinne, bccause of the punishment following it.
The discouery of this deceit, isDiscouery.
1 When, vponupon the ceasing of the punishment, wee are cheered presently, though still both the guilt, and filth of our sinne sticke in our conscience. Like as the foolish boy is glad, when the smarting plaister is off, though his sore still remaine vnhealed. Whereas, if it were the sin that grieued vsus, our griefe, together with our sinne, should outlast the punishment. But if once we hauehave any ease of our punishment, wee giuegive ouer our sorrowing forthwith. Which shewes that, with those Iewes, we mourne only for our corne and oile &c.Hos. 7. 14.
2. Discouery is by the property of godly sorrow, which is to make a man fresh, and nimble in his spirits for prayer, and other good duties. Whereas worldly sorrow lies heauy like lead vponupon a mans heart, and will make a man sleepe sooner, then pray; as in Ionas sleeping in the middest of a terrible tempest, which droue euen the prophane mariners to prayer; and in the disciples, who, being possessed with wordly sorrow, were neither able to watch one houre with Christ in prayer, nor fitte to heare that doctrine, which Christ otherwise was ready to hauehave taught them. For so our Sauiour told them. I hauehave many things to say vntounto you: but Ioh. 16. 12.you are not able to beare them; namely, because their spirits were dulled, and deaded with wordly sorrow. Which, euen in this sense also, may be said to cause death; though yet the opposition of life, 2. Cor. 7. 10.which the Apostle maketh in that place 2. Cor. 7. seeme to restraine the sense to spirituall death. But it is true that worldly sorrow causeth euen this naturall death. Whereas godly sorrowe procures a good conscience, which is the very health of the bones, a continuall feast. Euen in the very acte of mourning is a mans heart light, and cheerefull. If then wee finde our senses quickened, our spirits reuiued by our sorrow, so that we feele it to giuegive winges to our prayers, which before lay groueling on the ground, then hauehave wee an argument it is sound, and good. For godly sorrowe is alwaies mixed with, nay indeed proceedes from faith, which, in the apprehension of mercy, yeeldes matter of ioy, to delay the bitternesse of our teares. But if we hauehave no heartes to pray, if our sorrow make vsus spiritually, both dumbe, that we cannot speake to God, and deafe, that we cannot, with those Israelites, heare God speaking to vsus; then hauehave wee Exod. 6. 9.cause to suspect our sorrow, as vnsound, and deceitfull.
2 Deceit of our sorrow, when our owne priuate sorrow is couered with the title of sorrow for Do not many mourne in the aduersity of the Gospell, because they mourne for their owne aduersity? oh great corruption of our heartes! ô bottomlesse pit of hypocrisie! Greenh. in Psal. 119. ver. 139. Discouery.the publique euils of the Church, where wee liue. Vsually it falleth out, that eueryevery one of vsus in particular are interested in the publike calamities of the state, where we liue, and so are pinched with the sense of their smart. Hence many deceitfully imagine, they are grieued for the publike euils, when indeede it is no otherwise for the publike, then as they touch them in particular.
Here the discouery is.
1 In the separation of our owne cause from the Churches. As when, it going ill with the Church, it goes well with vsus in particular. If then wee can distast our owne priuate felicities, and call them Icabods, as that good woman did her sonne when the arke was captiued, if then we are as pensiue, as 1. Sam. 4. 21.if we our selues in our owne persons susteyned that which the Church doth▪ then it is an argument our griefe is sincere. As in Nehemiah, whom his owne ease, and great grace, and authority in the Kings Court could nothing cheere, or comfort, in the common calamities of the Church of God.
2 When besides the common euils of the Church: we suffer some personall afflictions, that concerne vsus solely. If our griefe bee truely for the Churches euils, then, in this case, the sense of griefe for the publike euils will blunt the edge of our priuate sorrow. As in two diseases of the body the stone, and the goute, when they meete together, the griefe of the stone, because it is the greater, doth take away all sense of the goute, because it is the lesse: so here in a godly minde the griefe for our owne priuate is drowned in the greater griefe for the Churches publike distresses. But if it be quite contrary with vsus, that we cannot feele the churches misery, wee are so affected with the sense of our owne, this is more then a presumption, that when the Churches afflictions were our owne, we mourned then for them, only as our owne, and not as the Churches; making the name of the Church only a vizour, and imitating Polus, that, vnderunder the representation of an anothers griefe, truely, and heartily lamented the death of his owne sonne.
5 Affection is Desire. In the which also a double 5. Desire. Deceit, 2.deceit.
1 When our vnnaturall desires are cloaked with the name of naturall. Though mens desires are infinite, and insatiable, yet for all this vsually they deceiue themselues with this, that they desire only a competency, neither pouerty, nor riches, but only Agurs conuenient portion. Now competencie is that, which will not onelyonly serue nature, but that also which is fitte for our estate, and calling. And so that which is but competent for one estate and calling, as say a Magistrate, is superfluity for another, as say a priuate man. Well then, let vsus see whether it be so vsually with our desires, as they pretend, that they confine themselues within the boundes of mediocrity, and competency. The Discouery.triall wilbe this, if, when they hauehave that which is competent, they then rest contented. For there are three desires. The desire of nature, of grace, of corruption. Nature will be content with little: grace with lesse: but corruption is insatiable. If then there be no ho with our desires, but when they hauehave got that, which themselues, at first, would sette downe as a matter of competency, yet they still are like the crauing horse-leaches, that cry GiueGive, giuegive, it is an argument Desideria naturalia finita sunt: ex falsa opinione nas…entia vbi d…sinane non habent. Nullus n. terminus falso est. Sen.it is the desire of corruption, not of nature, not of grace. Naturall thirst is discerned from aguish by this, that the naturall will be quenched with a draught, but the other is further prouoked by drinking. So, when men shall say, I desire only a sufficiency, if I had but so much, I should be well apaid then, and yet, when they hauehave that, couet more greedily then euer before, this is an ague, a dropsie, a disease: noe naturall, noe kindly thirst. But here this deceite of our desires is so much the harder to be discouered, in that it is not so easie to define in eueryevery thing that which is competent. And so vnderunder the couer of competency we quickly fall into the snare of pleasure, and excesse. This S. Austen excellently describes in the desire of meates and drinkes, and by like proportion we may apply it to the desire of any other thing. While, saith he, Sub vel mine necessitatis incidi in laqueot voluptatu. Bernard. Confess. 10. 31. Sed dū ad quieetem satictatis ex iudigentiae molestia trāseo, in ipso transitu mihi insidiatur laqueus concupiscentiae. Et saepe incertū vtrū adhuc necessaria corporis cura subsidium petat, an voluptuaria cupiditatis fallacia ministerium suppetat. Ad hoc incertū hilarescit insoelix anima, &c. Vt obtentu salutis obumbret negotium voluptatis.feeling the trouble of want, I make towards the quiet of fulnesse, in the very passage from the one to the other, there lies in waite for mee the snare of concupiscence. And whereas our health is the cause of our eating and drinking, here a certaine dangerous pleasure ioynes it selfe as a handmaide, and yet for the most part labours to goe before, that it may seeme to be donne for her sake whether I say I do, or would do for my healths sake. But there is not the same measure of both. For that which is enough for health, is to little for delight. And it is often vncertaine whether the need of my body craue more, or the voluptuous deceit of my appetite. At this vncerteinty my vnhappy soule reioyceth, as at the matter of her excuse, and defence, being glad that it doth not appeare what is sufficient for health, that so vnderunder the pretence of health shee may shadowe her intemperancy.
2 Deceit is, when our carnall and worldly desires are accounted of vsus as spirituall. This deceit falleth out in this case, when, in one and the selfe same thing which we desire, there is matter fitte to giuegive contentment to both these desires. As in Simon Magus his desire of the giftes Apostolicall, besides the excellency of the giftes themselues, fitte matter for a holy desire, there was also profit, and Act. 8. 19. 21.glory that might insue, fitte matter to prouoke the carnall desire. Simon would seeme to be deuoute and holy, and to desire the giftes for themselues, for that worthy rekoning he had of them. But Peter smelt out the close deceit that lurked in his heart, and saw that it was a fleshly desire looking toward lucre. So the Apostle saith, He that desireth the office 1. Tim. 3. 1.of a Bishop desireth a worthy worke. Yet that desire which many hauehave of it how deceitfull is it? The worke desired is worthy: The desire therof in many is most base, and vnworthy. For though there be fitte matter in this office to kindle a holy, and spirituall desire, namely the beauty of the office it selfe, Gods glory, and mans saluation shining in the very face thereof: yet withall there is some matter to stirre vp a crooked, and couetous desire, namely the hope of gaine in a fat benefice. Here a couetous Balaam will hide his base desire of the reward of the office, with pretence of a spirituall desire of the office it selfe. Such is the deceit of those that buy liuings vnderunder this pretence, that they desire to exercise their giftes which otherwise, the iniquity of the times being such, they cannot hauehave the vse of. So also in the matter of marriage this deceit is very vsuall. The party affected hath piety matchable both to person, & portion, & yet both these in good measure too. Here one, too much wedded to the world, or to the flesh, will cloake his affection to portion, or person, with a pretence of affection to piety; as though that had the preeminence in swaying of his desires. Where happely, if the heart be truly searched, the contrary will appeare.
The discouery of this deceit is when the matter Discouery.that should satisfie the carnall desire being taken away, there only remaineth the inuiter, and inciter of the spirituall, and holy. For if then we desire not as feruently as before, we may iustly feare fraude in our desires. Here cooled desires are crafty, decaying, deceiuing, flinching, false.
6 Affection is confidence. Where the deceit is, to 6 Confidence. The deceit:thinke we trust in God, when indeede we trust only in the meanes. The deceit is, both when we hauehave the meanes, and when wee want them. The deceit and discouery.of both, is discouered by our behauiour towards God in the presence of the meanes. For if then wee giuegive ouer praying to God, or abate of our feruency in suing, and seeking to him for his helpe, wee may well doubt of our confidence. For if wee doe truely relye on God, as on him who is sufficient without meanes, and without whom euen the most sufficient meanes are altogether insufficient, why then doe wee beginne so to secure our selues, and lay aside all feare, when once wee are fensed with the meanes? Againe hauing beene so confident and comfortable in the enioyment of the meanes, if afterward in the time of danger, when the meanes faile vsus, we loose this confidence and shewe our selues faint, and heartlesse cowards, this also is another conuiction of deceite in our confidence. So both these wayes is our confidence found out to be deceitfull, both by excesse of spirite in peace, and by want of spirite in trouble.
The like deceits might be shewed in diuers other affections. But the worke growing bigger then I thought it would, I forbeare. So much then shall suffice to hauehave spoken concerning the deceitfulnesse of the affections; as also concerning the whole doctrine of the deceitfulnesse of heart.