The Mystery of Self-Deceiving, Chapter 24
CHAP: XXIIII.
Of the deceitfulnesse of our louelove, anger, ioy.
NOw to come to the deceit of some particular affections. And first to begin with louelove.Speciall.
1 The deceit of the affection of louelove is, when we 1. LoueLove. The deceit.thinke we louelove mens persons, as they are gods creatures in Adam, & his new creatures in Christ; when yet indeed wee louelove not their persons, but their riches, honours, reputation in the world, and such like adioints of their persons. In louing of our selues, we prefer our persons before our goods, or ought els; as the Diuell obserued, Skinne for skinne, and all that a man hath, will he giuegive for his life. Now the law is, Thou shalt louelove thy neighbour as thy selfe. And so we should louelove him, and not his. But quite contrary is it with many of vsus in the louing of others. Wee prefer their purses, and portions, before their persons. Whatsoeuer wee may persuade our selues, the truth is, that wee louelove specially in them these outward thinges, and know them according to the flesh. The discouery of this deceit is in the change The Discouery thereof.of estate.
1 When riches are turned into pouerty, honour into ignominy; if then we leaue our friend, it is euident we loued not his person before. For that is still the same, his piety, his partes are the same, that when he was rich, happily more. When the corne is spent, the rattes leaue the barne, and yet the roome is the same. It was not then the roome they loued. Here was the triall of the sincerity of Iohns louelove to our Sauiour, that hee forsooke him not on the crosse, as his fellowes did. For indeede Christ was the same on the crosse, that in the pulpit, in the temple, Christ suffering was the same, that he was working miracles. Thus was the deceitfull louelove of many professours at Rome towards Paul discouered, in that they stood not to him when he was conuented before Nero. Heerein also appeared some vnsoundnesse in Iobs wife hir louelove, when she began to loath him because of his boyles, and botches. If she had loued his grace, botchy Iob and poore Iob was as gracious, as haile Iob, and rich Iob. The like may be said of their louelove, who depending vppon him in his flourishing estate, afterward dispised him Iob. 30. 1.in his fall.
2 When also our estate is changed from worse to a better, here also is a discouery of deceitfull louelove. For as in the former change vnsounde louelove will turne into hatred, so in this into enuie. Here was the discouery of Sauls false heart to Dauid, when, seeming to louelove him deerely, and intirely before, he could not yet indure him, when he saw him grow greater then himselfe, and heard his ten thousands and but his owne thousands. And here was a notable triall of the sincerity of Ionathans louelove to Dauid, when, for all hee knew hee was to be preferd to the kingdome, and so the only man to put him by that dignity, yet still hee continued constant in louelove. Whereas, if he had loued him only for outwarde respects, as because of the similitude of their dispositions, that he was a man of a Martiall spirit, and not chiefly for his piety, he could not, but, vponupon this occasion, hauehave most bitterly hated him. This must teach vsus, in louing others to examine our owne heartes, what it is we louelove in them; whether the image of God, or the deceiueable shadowes of the world. And those that hauehave much louelove, and many friends, must learne wisedome not to take all for friends, that pretend affection. And because the heart of man is thus deceitfull in louelove, as in nothing more, it must teach vsus in the multitude of greatest, and strongest friends to fly vntounto God, and to make his louelove our chiefest staies. His louelove I say, which is without deceit, without repentance, without the least shadow of turning. For whom he once loues, he loues to the end. Mans lous is often deceitfull, that we may iustly complaine with Iob, My friendes Ioh. 13. 1.hauehave deceiued me as a brooke, and with the Church in the Lamentations, My louers stand farre off from mee, Iob. 6. 15. Lament. 1. 2.and with Paul, All hauehave forsooke mee. Leane not then on this broken staffe. Secure not thy selfe no not 2. Tim. 4. 16.in the fauour of Princes. Trust not in them, sayth Psal. 146. 4.the Psalmist, because they are mortall, and their breath is in their nostrils. Much more then may I say, trust not in their louelove, because their louelove is mortall, and may quickly turne into mortall hatred. Their louelove may die before themselues, they may suruiue their louelove, breathing out their louelove, before their breath▪ So much for louelove.
2 Affection is Anger, and hatred, an inueterate 2. Anger. The deceite.anger. The deceit is, when we thinke we hate mens sinnes, when indeede it is their persons, and that wee are angrie for sinne against God, when indeed it is for some iniurie done to our selues. For so it is, that gods cause, and our owne often meete together. And wherein we are wronged, therein also is God. Now hence, by reason of this companie, and concurrence of Gods cause, and our owne, we are very apt, and ready to deceiue our selues; thinking our anger is directed against the dishonour of God, whereas, in truth, it hath reference only to that which is but an appurtenance, and hang by thereto, namely our owne offence.
The discouery therefore of this deceit is,The discoue-thereof.
1 In the partition of Gods cause, and our owne. Let vsus marke how wee are affected, either when God is dishonoured without our iniurie, or wee iniuried without any great impeachment of Gods honour. Now if wee can be as hotte as tostes in our owne priuate iniuries, where Gods glory is not called in question, and yet as cold as yce, when most dishonorable indignities are offered to the Lord without any touch of our selues: then it is euident, that in those cases, where Gods cause and our own are ioyned together, our anger was onelyonly for our owne, not for Gods. When our seruants, or children hauehave neglected their duty to vsus, there is iust cause of anger. For Gods commandement is broken by them. But deceiue not thy selfe, when vnderunder this pretence thou lettest loose the bridle to thy rage. For how often hast thou thy selfe fayled far more in thy duty to God, how often hast thou seen thy children, and seruants dishonour the name of the Lord many waies, and yet wast neuer halfe so angry? Here was the triall of Moses his anger. When the people murmured, & when Korah rebelled against him, here was iust cause of anger. But here Gods cause, and his owne were coupled. Let vsus therfore marke Moses his behauiour, when they were singled. Num. 12. Aaron, and Miriam offer him a priuate iniury. It is sayd his meeknesse was such that he gaue them not a word. Againe Exod. 32. the people had fallen to idolatry, and had made a calfe, and Aaron had his hand therein. Here gods quarrell was seuered from his owne. And how caries he himselfe here. He spares neither Aaron, nor the people, but in a godly fitte of zeale takes on, breakes the two tables in pieces &c. A meeke lambe in his owne iniury: A fierce Lion in Gods. Here was pure anger, free from guile, and gall.
2 If our anger be properly against sinne, then it will keepe vsus from sinning grosly in being angry. For what likelihood is there, that he is truly angry against sinne, that commits a greater sinne in his anger, then the sinne whereat hee is angry? Thus many are angry for small offences, which indeede are sinnes also against God: but in their anger they are so distempered, that they breake out into cursing, raging, rayling &c. which are farre greater sinnes, then that wherewith they are discontent. Here was Dauids anger against Nabal discouered to be faulty. He might happily persuade him selfe he had cause to be offended. For Nabals churlish vnthankefulnesse was odious to God. Yet that was not it which angred Dauid. For then how came it to passe that his anger prouoked him to sweare, to conceiue a bloudy purpose of murther? Grace begets not sinne, but holdes backe from sin. Grace is neuer a paire of bellowes to blow vp in vsus the fire of corruption; so as is often our anger. And therfore our anger then is not of grace, but of corruption.
3 Holy anger, that is conceiued against sinne, doth not any thing vnfit vsus for duties, wee owe either God, or man, no not that man, with whom we are angry. As Moses was angry with the Israelites, and chode them sharpely, yet withall prayed for them hartily. As when our children through their owne fault hauehave gotte some sickenesse, for all our angry speaches, wee goe to the Physition for them. Christ, when he was angrie with the Pharises, at the same time mourned for their sinne. Ionathan was angry with his father for vowing Dauids Mar. 3. 5.death: yet his anger made him speake nothing vnbeseeming the duty, either of a sonne to his father, or of a subiect to his souereigne. Anger against sinne is alwayes ioyned with louelove of the sinner. Sincere anger is a louing anger, a deuout anger. It fittes a man for the duties of louelove to men, of deuotion to God. This anger is a whetstone to praier, and by helpe of it, thou shalt pray better then before. If then thine anger so disguise thee, and put thee out of frame, that thou canst not tell, either how to pray to God, or looke, or speake louingly to man, not only the person angring thee, but scarse any other, it is a conuiction of the deceitfulnesse of thy anger.
3 Affection is ioy. In the which there is a double 3 Ioye. The deceit 2. 1. Deceit.deceit. 1 When we thinke we reioice in gods outward benefites, only as pledgees of his louelove, when indeede wee reioyce more in the benefites themselues, then in the benefactour.
The discouery is 1 By our drouping, and deiection Discouery.vnderunder the crosse. If it had been Gods fauor only wee had reioyced-in in our prosperity, why then is the copy of our countenance changed? for Gods fauour is still the same to his in affliction, which in prosperity, haply greater.
2 By the effect of our ioy, which is the sadding, and grieuing of Gods spirit. Whence ariseth a heauie lumpishnes, and vnwillingnes to Gods seruice.
2 Deceit is, when we thinke wee reioyce in the 2. Deceit.graces of Gods spirit in our brethren, for themselues, when we reioyce in them, only as they are some way beneficiall to our selues; as in the matter of liberality. Here the triall is, to marke whether Discouery.wee reioyce as much in other graces, which are not so profitable to vsus, or in the same graces, when it falles out that they are profitable to others, not to our selues. Excellently Paul to Philemon. Wee hauehave Phil. 7.great ioy in thy louelove. For by thee Brother (not my, but) the Saints bowels are refreshed. Many reioyce only in that louelove which refresheth their owne bowels. Which is indeede to reioyce rather in their owne profit, then in the grace of God it selfe. For that louelove which refresheth other Saints bowels, and not mine, is louelove, as well as that, which refresheth mine. If I reioyce in louelove, because it is louelove, because it is grace, I shall reioyce as well in the one, as in the other. Yea and when this grace is beneficiall to vsus, rather yet in his benefit whose it is, because of the fruite furthering his owne reckning, shall we Phil. 4. 17.reioyce, then in our owne.