The Christian Armory, Book 1 · Chapter 15
CHAP. XV. Of ordinary particular euils from without vsus, whether at home or abroad.
The crosses of euill and bad husbands, wiues, parents, children, masters, seruants, and of a shrewd mother in law.
Question.
HOw are good women to comfort themselues when they are matched with euill husbands?
A. First, they are not alone. For Abigail was crossed by Nabal her husband;1. Sam. 25. and many innocent wiues in Moses time,Mat. 19.8. by reason of the crueltie and vnreasonablenes of their husbands, were diuorced from them.
Secondly, if their husbands in the flesh be euill and shrewd, yet Christ their spirituall husband will alwaies intreat them kindly, and louingly visit them by his spirit, if so be that they feare him and beleeue in him.
Thirdly, they must be of pure conuersation and reuerence their husbands, the hidden man of the heart must be vncorrupt,1. Pet. 3.1.2.4.5. with a méeke and quiet spirit, and subiect themselues vntounto their husbands, and then they shall either win them, or (at least) leaue them without iust defence of themselues, or excuse.
Q How shall good husbands comfort themselues, when they are maried to euill and vnquiet wiues?
A. First, (it may be) they were rash in their choice, and did not consult with God by praier, and with good men by conference about it.
Secondly, Dauid, Iob, Moses, &c. were this w…y somewhat crossed; and this is almost a common euill, and therefore the more patiently to be vndergone: and if we cannot so well practise patience, we must (during the tempest of chiding) absent our selues, and retire our selues into some priua…e place.
Thirdly, they must acknowledge that they are thus crossed for their sins, and therefore they must the more willingly beare the burthen of their offences.
Fourthly, if they can endure raine and smoak in their houses, why not then their wiues?
Fiftly, they must either by gentlenesse, good perswasions and admonitions reforme their wiues; for then they make them better; or else they must beare with their infirmities, and so they make themselues better.
Sixtly, let their own consciences bear them witnesse, that they faile in no dutie of godlines and louelove towards them: & thē let them commit the matter to God; and what know they whether (at length) they shall conuert them or not?1 Cor. 7.16
Q. How shall good parents comfort themselues that are troubled and crossed with euill and disobedient children?
A. First, goodnes and vertue in children is not naturall, but from aboue, & commeth not from their first birth, but from their second: for that which is borne of the flesh is flesh,Ioh. 3.6. & that which is borne of the spirite, is spirit; and hereupon many good men hauehave had euill children, as Abraham had his Ismael, Isaacke had his Esau, Dauid his Absolon, and Amnon, & Hezechias his Manasses.
Secondly, sometimes Parents are punished in their children, partly, because they hauehave beene disobedient to superiours, and to their owne parents, and partly, because they hauehave béen negligent in teaching, correcting, and bringing them vp.
Thirdly, all children are not predestinate to saluation, (as we hauehave Elies sons, Hophni and Phineas for examples) and therefore we must not looke to hauehave all good and holy: for iustification and sanctification followeth onelyonly election, and is not common to all.
Fourthly, parents must giuegive their children holy example,Eph. 6.1. and when they are young bend and bow them, & bring them vp in the nurture and information of the Lord, and then if they proue not good, their vngodlinesse shall neuer bee imputed to the innocent parents.
Lastly, though for the present they be euill and desperate, yet hope wel of them, and pray for them, and vse all meanes constantly for their amendment, & then leaue the successe to God the changer of the hearts.
Q. How shall vertuous children comfort themselues that are crossed with vnkind, euill, and irreligious parents?
A. First, sometimes seuerity in Parents, is for their childrens good, who if the parents should not sometimes grow vnkind, they would forget God and themselues.
Secondly, we must beare, with & excuse their infirmities, (as farre as wee lawfully and honestly may) attributing it to old oge… choler, melancholy, &c. and therefore we must either speake gloriously of them, or kéepe silence.
Thirdly, the more degenerate, and irreligious that they be, the more by our humility, dutifulnes, good exa…ple, and prayers, we must labour to reclaim, and winne them.
Fourthly, we must note that our parents hauehave authority & power ouer vsus, and not we ouer them; and therfore we must beare with their manifold infirmities.
Fiftly, let vsus ascribe it to our sins, and want of duety, and reueence to them, that we find them otherwise then wee expected.
Sixtly, if we faile in no duty towards them, yet wee must remember, that good Ionathan was the sonne of wicked Saul, 2. Chr. 18.1Ezechias the sonne of wicked▪ Ahaz, and zealous Iosias the sonne of Idolatrous Amon; who were (no doubt) much crossed by, and grieued at their vngodly fathers, yea and tempted by them.
Q. What comforts are fitte for good Masters that are crossed, by euill, and vnfaithfull seruants?
A. First, they must sée and consider whether that they hauehave giuen them good example, and hauehave béene carefull to traine them vp in true religion, and godlinesse, otherwise they are as much in …ault as the seruants; and if they performe all offices vntounto them, they may or will proue like the Captains seruants that attended at his becke;Math. 8.9. for when hée bad any to come, he came, when to go, he went, and when he bad him do ought he did it.
Secondly, they must partly by gentle admonitions, and partly by seasonable corrections, labour to reforme their misdeamenours; if this will not serue, if thou hauehave hired many seruants, lessen the number of them, and they will the better agrée, and thou shalt not bee enforced to put them away: but if thou hauehave few, and they be incorrigible, put them away,Gal. 4.30. as Sarah turned out Hagar, and Dauid resolued to hauehave no slanderer,Psal. 101.5 & 7. no proud, no deceitfull, nor lying seruant to abide in his house: and as the Lord of the vniust Steward expelled him.
Thirdly, henceforth be more aduised in thy choice,Luk. 7.…. and when thou hast good & faithfull seruants entreat them kindly, and (according to their good seruice, and deserts) doe vntounto them that is iust,Col. 4.1. and equall, knowing that thou also hast a master in heauen.
Q. What comforts and instructions are meete for diligent and dutifull seruants, that either are wronged, misused, or (at least) vnkindly entreated by euill Lords, and Masters?
A. First, many right good and trusty seruants hauehave béene not onelyonly vnkindly, but also cruelly entreated both of ancient & of latter times. Thus was Hagar seuerely handled by Sarah. Iacob collogned withall, and deceiued by Laban: Joseph put out of seruice, & wrongfully imprisoned by Potiphar; Dauid persecuted by Saul; and therefore no strange matter hath befallen them.
Secondly, the more griefes & wrongs they endure for conscience towards God and for well doing the greater praise and reward shall they receiue from God.
Thirdly, their hard seruice or bondage, will one day end.
Fourthly, that they are Gods fréemen, for his seruice is perfect freedome.
Lastly, that God in time will right their wrongs, and requite them that misused them; for he is no respecter of persons.
Q. What duties are they to performe?
A. Seruants must feare God & vse all good meanes to gaine their fauours, and obey them (as well in their absence as in their presence) in all lawfull actions,Eph. 6. v. 5 6.7. and doe them seruice, as vntounto the Lord: & if their masters wil not yet relent they must comfort themselues in their innocency, and recommend their cause to God, whose freemen they are.