A Guide to Godliness, Book 5 · Chapter 22
CAP. XXII.
Of diuers ſpeciall meanes whereby the poynt meditated is wrought vponupon the heart and affections.
§. Sect. 1 Of Examination.
ANd now (my ſoule) that thou ſeeſt what is required in this duty of repentance, examine thy ſelfe how thou haſt performed it. Haſt thou had a true and thorow ſight and ſenſe of thy naturall impotency and auerſeneſſe to this duty; of thy ſecurity, impenitency and hardneſſe of heart, and haſt thou had feruent deſires to bee freed from them? Haſt thou ſought and ſued to thy God, the Author and fountaine of this grace, deſiring the aſſiſtance of his holy Spirit, for the ſuppling and ſoftening of thy hard and ſtony heart, that it might relent and reſolue into the teares of vnfained repentance? And haſt thou by faith applyed vntounto thee the blood of Chriſt, for the working of thine heart to ſound humiliation and contrition? Haſt thou been carefull, as thou oughteſt, in vſing all thoſe good meanes which thy God hath giuen thee, for the effectuall working of this grace in thy heart? Haſt thou diligently heard the Word of God, and applyed it vntounto thy ſelfe for this end, the threatnings of the Law for thy humiliation, and the ſweet and gracious promiſes of the Goſpell, aſſuring thee of the pardon of thy ſinnes, and of Gods louelove and fauour, that thou mighteſt louelove God againe, who hath ſo loued thee, and forgiuen thee ſo great a debt, and teſtifie this louelove by bewailing thy ſinnes, whereby thou haſt diſpleaſed ſo gracious a Father? Hath Gods mercy, patience and long-ſuffering drawne thee to repentance, and haſt thou beene offended with thy ſelfe, becauſe thou haſt offended thy God, who hath multiplied vponupon thee ſo many teſtimonies of his louelove? Haſt thou made right vſe of Gods bleſſings and benefits, to be made thereby more carefull to pleaſe him; and of his chaſtiſements and fatherly corrections, to be made thereby more fearefull to offend him? Hath thy ſorrow in any good meaſure been ſutable to thy ſinnes, and haſt thou more bewailed thy ſins then the puniſhment, the guilt then the ſmart; and in this reſpect chiefly, becauſe thou haſt by them diſhonoured thy God, rather then for the miſeries which they hauehave brought vponupon thy ſelfe? Haſt thou bewailed all thy ſinnes, and thoſe moſt of all whereunto thy corrupt nature is moſt inclined; and not onelyonly thy ſinnes of groſſe commiſſion, but alſo thy ſinnes of omiſſion, and the wants and imperfections of thy beſt actions? Haſt thou been affected with Gods Iudgements, and with thoſe moſt of all which are ſpirituall, and touch thee rather then thy ſinfull fleſh? Hath the ſmart of thy ſores been ſuch, that nothing would eaſe them but the balme of Gilead, the blood of Chriſt, applyed by faith, and hauehave carnall ſports rather increaſed then abated thy griefe? Haſt thou ſo waſhed thy ſelfe in the waters of repentance, as that thou haſt thereby been cleanſed from thy Eſa. 1. 16.ſinnes? and haſt thou, being freed from ſinne, become the ſeruant of righteouſneſſe? Haſt thou been earneſt in thy repentance, and taken occaſion from thy former negligence and vnprofitableneſſe, to redeeme thy loſt time, by redoubling thy diligence in Gods ſeruice? Haſt thou found plentifull fruits in thee, worthy repentance and amendment of life? And as thou haſt increaſed in yeeres, haſt thou increaſed in fruitfulneſſe, bringing forth moſt in thine older age? Haſt thou found in thee thoſe ſpeciall fruits of care, cleering, indignation, feare, deſire, zeale and holy reuenge, before ſpoken of?
§. Sect. 2 Of Confeſſion.
Alas (my ſoule) how defectiue haſt thou been in all theſe things? Alas (my God) how ſhould I, without much ſhame and confuſion of face looke vponupon thee, ſeeing when I come to pay that debt and duty which I owe thee, my ſiluer is turned into droſſe, my medicine is become a poyſon, Eſa. 1. 22.my repentance, which ſhould be the ſalue for my other ſinnes, is ſo full of wants and imperfections, that it ſelfe needeth to bee repented of? and if this bath wherein I ſhould waſh my polluted ſelfe, were not it ſelfe bathed and cleanſed in a pured fountaine, the precious blood of Ieſus Chriſt, ſo foule it is through the filth of my corruptions, that it would but the more defile me, and make me lothſome in thy ſight. It is true (my God) and I acknowledge it to thy glory, that through thy grace I hauehave repented, and doe deſire to repent ſtill more and more. And that ſmall meaſure which I hauehave receiued, and which I returne vntounto thee, is not falſe and counterfet, but in ſincerity and truth But (alas my Lord) it is ſo maimed with imperfections, and defiled with corruptions, that it is vtterly vnworthy thine acceptance. And ſeeing thou haſt forbidden in thy Law that any ſacrifices ſhould be offered vntounto thee, which were maimed or vncleane, how ſhould I preſume to offer this ſacrifice of my ſighes and teares which are ſo imperfect and defiled, were it not that thou haſt told me, that the ſacrifice wherein thou chiefly delighteſt, is a broken heart, and humble and contrite ſpirit? And becauſe thy perfection can indure no imperfection, thou haſt appoynted another ſacrifice pure and perfect, euen that which thy deare Sonne hath offered vntounto thee vponupon the Croſſe, to cleanſe and couer the impurity and imperfection of mine, that it may be acceptable in thy ſight. Theſe waters of thy grace (O my God) were pure and perfect, as they came from thee the Fountaine of all purity and perfection; but alas, they are now defiled by running thorow the polluted channell of my filthy heart. But being againe cleanſed by running thorow the pure Fountaine of my Sauiours blood, they are reſtored to their purity, and fit for thine acceptance. From my ſelfe immediately I dare not offer vntounto thee my repentance; for it is wholly ſtained and defiled with my corruption, and mingled with much impenitency, carnall ſecurity and hardneſſe of heart. And though it be moſt imperfect, yet hauehave I been too too ſlothfull in vſing any of thoſe good meanes wherby I might attaine vntounto more perfection; or when I hauehave vſed them, it hath been ſo formally and negligently, that they hauehave had little efficacie to worke this grace in me. Thy legall threatenings hauehave not humbled me, thy Euangelicall promiſes hauehave little affected mee, the good motions of thy Spirit hauehave been quenched in me, thy bleſſings and benefits hauehave not allured me, thy chaſtiſements and corrections hauehave not drawne me; but notwithſtanding all theſe helpes, I hauehave continued in my ſinnes with much impenitency, or laboured to come out of them with much weakeneſſe. My ſorrow for ſinne hath been very ſmall, and ioyned with much hardneſſe of heart; my deſires of amendment exceeding feeble and faint; my reſolutions weake and vnconſtant, and my actions and indeuours impotent and imperfect, and when to will is preſent with me, I finde no power to Rom. 7.performe that which is good, ſo that I cannot doe the good I would, nor leaue vndone the euill I would not.
§. Sect. 3 Of Complaint.
Alas (my ſoule) how farre hath thy carnall ſecurity preuailed with thee? How hath it rocked thee in ſuch a deepe ſlumber, that thou haſt little or no ſenſe of thy ſloth, but when thou art aſleepe, dreameſt that thou art waking? How is thine heart hardened through the deceitfulneſſe of ſinne, that it is ſcarce ſenſible of its owne hardneſſe? yea when thou doſt diſcerne it, how art thou hampred and fettered with the g…ues of thy corruption, that thou haſt neither power nor will to better thine eſtate? Repentance is the meanes of curing thine infirmities and ſickneſſes of ſinnes. But thou feareſt the medicine, more then the diſeaſe, and neglecteſt, or formally vſeſt all good meanes whereby it might be obtained and applyed. Thou thinkeſt no care or coſt too much for the compaſſing of worldly vanities, and thou canſt in purſuing them, keepe thy deſires within no bounds, but the more thou drinkeſt, the more thou thirſteſt. But how ſoone art thou tyred in working thy heart to ſorrow for thy ſinnes; and how little of this doeſt thou thinke enough? In bodily ſmart and worldly griefe for the loſſe of things little to be eſteemed, how many arguments of comforts (as it were) bridles, needeſt thou to curbe in, and moderate thy ſenſuall ſorrowes? and yet how often doe they get head, and (as it wer…) catching the bridle betweene the teeth, carry thee away in a full carreer? But how many ſtrong motiues and forcible reaſons (as it were) ſharpe ſpurres in thy ſides, doeſt thou need, to make thee ſorrow for thy ſinnes? and how ſoone, like a dull hackney, art thou tyred in this vnuſuall way, ſo that no ſpurres nor ſtripes will make thee mend thy pace? How cold and quiet is thy hatred againſt thy ſinnes? and vponupon what eaſie tearmes and ſmall ſubmiſſion art thou content to let them liue, when the Lord hath giuen them into thy power, and put the ſword of the Spirit into thy hands wherewith thou mighteſt ſlay them? How little haſt thou profited in the amendment of thy life? how ſmall and inſenſible are thy proceedings in the wayes of godlines? and after long time ſpent, and many means vſed, how ſmall is thy progreſſe, and how neere art thou ſtill to the place from whence thou diddeſt ſit out? How faint are thy deſires (O ſlothfull ſoule) after good things? How farre from earneſt longings which breake the heart, and from hungring and thirſting, which are impatient of delay, and neuer at quiet till they be ſatisfied? How often doeſt thou faile in thy good reſolutions, and how ſeldome doſt thou bring them to any good effect? How eaſily art thou diſcouraged in thy beſt indeuours, deſiſting, or at leaſt often intermitting them, before thou bringeſt them to any perfection? And yet this is all thou canſt doe towards that perfect obedience which the Law requireth; and all that thy God in the Goſpell doth require of thee. Vngratefull ſoule, if thou doſt not anſwere his demands; when hauing done ſo much for thee, hee deſireth, in lieu of all, to hauehave ſo little returned vntounto him.
§. Sect. 4 A hearty wiſh to hauehave all wants ſupplyed. Jer. 9. 1.
O that thou couldeſt performe this duty in that manner and meaſure which thy God requireth! O that thy head were a fountaine of teares, that thou mighteſt with Dauid cauſe thy bed to ſwim, and water thy Pſalm. 6. 6.couch with them; and with Ieremy, weepe day and night for thine owne ſinnes, and the ſinnes of thy people. O that God would ſmite thy hard heart, as he cauſed Moſes ſometime to ſmite the Rocke, that there might guſh out of it teares of vnfained repentance! O that I could thorowly waken my ſelfe out of my ſlumber of ſecurity, that continually expecting my Iudge, I might prepare my ſelfe for his comming, and lament my ſins, as though it were the laſt day of my life! O that I could be more diſpleaſed with my ſelfe, becauſe my ſinnes no more diſpleaſe me, and lament the hardneſſe of my heart, becauſe I can no more heartily bewaile them! How ſhould I inwardly reioyce in this ſorrow! How ſhould I hauehave more iuſt cauſe of delight in bathing my ſelfe in theſe flouds, then Naaman had, when waſhing in lordan, he perceiued himſelfe cleanſed from his Leproſie! How ſhould theſe teares be my meate and drinke, and more refreſh me then my corporall food! O that turning from my ſins with implacable hatred, I could returne to my God with all feruency of affection, and that I could expreſſe and approue my louelove vntounto him who hath ſo loued me, by bringing forth plentifull fruits of new obedience! O that my Pſal. 119. 5.wayes were ſo directed, that I might keepe his Statutes! O that thou couldeſt (my ſoule) ſet thy ſelfe perfectly to ſeeke and ſerue him, and that thou mighteſt neuer erre from the wayes of his Commandements! O that it were thy meate and drinke to doe the will of thy heauenly Father; and that thou couldeſt louelove it better then thy daintieſt food! O that thou couldeſt doe Gods will in earth, as the bleſſed Angels doe it in heauen, with all ioy and cheerfulneſſe, ſpeed and diligence! But alas, ſo impotent thou art in thine owne ſtrength, that thou art altogether vnable in thy ſelfe to performe this duty in any ſuch manner or meaſure as thou deſireſt.
§. Sect. 5 Acknowledgement of impotency.
Thou ſeeſt thy ſores, and feeleſt their ſmart, but haſt no skill to cure or eaſe them. Thou are ſenſible of thy defects, but art ſo poore and beggerly that thou canſt not ſupply them. Yea, thou art within the ſight of the waters which hauehave vertue in them to cure thy lameneſſe, and lyeſt deſolate bemoning thy miſery, but art ſo impotent that thou canſt not ſtep into them. Thou ſeeſt and acknowledgeſt that thy ſorrow for ſinne is too too ſmall, and it grieueth thee that thou canſt bee no more grieued, but haſt no more ability to draw from thy head plenty of teares, or from thy heart vnfained ſighes and grones for thy ſinnes, then to command the clouds to raine, or the windes to blow. Thou ſeeſt the miſeries and dangers which attend vponupon thy carnall ſecurity, but canſt not rowze thy ſelfe vp out of this dead ſlumber. Thou feeleſt the miſchiefes of an hard heart, but art not able by any meanes of thine owne to ſupple and ſoften it. Many defects and imperfections there are in thy new obedience, but thou haſt no ability to ſupply the one, or amend the other. Reſt not therefore (my ſoule) vponupon thine owne ſtrength, which will faile thee in this, as well as in all things elſe, of any waight or worth, but flee vntounto him that is both able and willing to pardon thy imperfections and wants, and alſo to ſupply them. Cry vntounto him (O my ſoule) who is ready and All-ſufficient to heare and helpe thee. Lift vp thy heart vntounto him, and ſay:
§. Sect. 6 Petition.
O thou, who art alone able to perfect that good worke of repentance which thy ſelfe haſt begun, amend in it what is amiſſe, and ſupply all that wherein it is defectiue. I hauehave deſired to turne vntounto thee by vnfained repentance, but my corrupt fleſh oppoſeth me in this work, ſo as I can bring it to little effect; put to thy helping hand, and ſupply by thy Spirit what is wanting in me. The reliques of my corruption doe ſtill remaine in mee, and pull me backe as I am returning vntounto thee; but thou who haſt depoſed them from their regency, and weakened them in their full ſtrength, canſt deliuer me fully from their power and tyranny, and preſerue mee from the danger of thoſe ſecret ambuſhments, out of which theſe ſcattered forces, vponupon all aduantages doe aſſault me. My carnall ſecurity oppoſeth my repentance, and maketh me apt to ſlumber in my ſinnes; but thou canſt awake me out of this ſleepe, who was able to rowze me out of the ſleepe of death. My heart is hard, and I bewaile great ſinnes with ſmall ſorrow; but if thou finite this ſtony rocke, there will iſſue from it, as from a fountaine, ſtreames of repentant teares. I am now ſlow and dull in returning vntounto thee, by bringing forth the fruits of new obedience; but I ſhall be able to better my ſpeed, and to runne the way of thy Commandements, when thou ſhalt Pſal. 119. 37.inlarge my heart. O thou therefore who chiefly delighteſt in the ſacrifice of an humble heart, and contrite ſpirit, create in me a ſoft and tender heart, and renew in me a right ſpirit. Frame me according to thine owne will, that thou maiſt delight in me, and dwell with me; yea, according to thine owne couenant, for thou haſt promiſed to giuegive me a new heart, and a new Ezek. 11. 19. and 36. 26.ſpirit, and that thou wilt take away from me my ſtony heart, and giuegive vntounto mee an heart of fleſh. Thou art glorified in me, when I bring forth much fruits of Iob. 15. 8.new obedience. O be not wanting vntounto thine owne glory, by ſuffering me to be defectiue in fruitfulneſſe; but after I hauehave brought forth ſome, purge me againe and againe, that I ſtill bringing forth more fruits, thou maiſt be more glorified.
§. Sect. 7 Inforcement.
Yea Lord, my wants are not ſmall, and therefore my ſuit muſt not bee ſlight. I muſt ſtill wraſtle with thee by my prayers and ſtrong cryes, and not let thee depart, without a bleſſing. I am weake to preuaile, but I hauehave thy truth to ſupport me, who haſt promiſed that I ſhall obtaine, if I follow Luk. 18. 1. 8.my ſuit without fainting. O then make good thy word vntounto thy ſeruant, Pſalm. 119.wherein thou haſt made me to put my truſt: GiueGive me a melting heart, which will relent and reſolue eaſily into teares of repentance. I am much defiled with the filthineſſe of my ſinnes, and a little waſhing will not make me cleane; Purge me thorowly therefore (O my God) and multiply my waſhings, firſt and chiefly in the blood of Chriſt, which will cleanſe mee from the ingrained guilt of my crimſon and ſcarlet ſinnes; and waſh mee in the lauer of Regeneration, and in the waters of vnfained repentance, which will, by vertue of the former waſhing, helpe to purge mee from the filth of my corruptions. Turne me, O turne me vntounto thee (my God) and Lam. 5. 21. Cant. 1. 3.ſo ſhall I be turned; draw me, and I will runne after thee. Rectifie and fructifie my more then ordinary barrenneſſe, with the extraordinary ſhowres of thy grace, and warme my heart with the beames of thy louelove, that whatſoeuer good ſeed of thy Word ſhall fall into it, may take deepe root, and bring forth plentifull fruits of holineſſe and righteouſneſſe; that as I hauehave heretofore, more then many others, diſhonoured thee by my ſinnes, ſo alſo I may now glorifie thee in ſome good degree, by bringing forth, in more then an ordinary manner and meaſure, plentifull fruits of new obedience.
§. Sect. 8 Confidence.
And now comfort thy ſelfe (O my ſoule) for thy God hath granted what thou haſt ſo feruently craued. Yea, it is the end why hee would hauehave thee to aske, becauſe he hath a deſire to giuegive, and that by diſcouering thy beggery and pouerty, he might take occaſion to diſcouer the riches of his bounty. He that hath inlarged thine heart with theſe feruent deſires, hath done it purpoſely to this end, that hee may fill it, and ſatisfie them. Thou couldeſt not ſo much as aske this grace of repentance, if the Spirit Rom. 8. 26.of God did not helpe thine infirmities, and inable thee to pray with ſighes and grones which cannot be vttered; and how can thy God reiect that prayer which his Spirit inditeth, and is made according to his owne will? Yea, be confident, my ſoule, for thou canſt receiue no repulſe in this ſuit; ſeeing he himſelfe hath commanded thee to aske it, and promiſed to giuegive it. He, who is true of his promiſe, and omnipotent in performance, hath bound himſelfe by his gracious Couenant, that hee will take away thy ſtony heart, and giuegive thee an heart of fleſh; that thou ſhalt looke vponupon Zacb. 12. 10.him whom thou haſt pierced, and ſhalt mourne for him, as a man mourneth for his onelyonly ſonne, and be in bitterneſſe for him, as one is in bitterneſſe for his firſtborne. That he will write alſo his Law in thine heart, that louing and obeying Jer. 31. 33. and 32. 42.it, thou maiſt neuer depart from him. And his Word is yea and Amen; his promiſes as good as preſent payment. Yet (my ſoule) to helpe thy weakeneſſe, he hath giuen vntounto thee already ſome firſt beginnings of repentance, Phil. 1. 6. Rom. 11. 29.as an earneſt of the reſt that yet is wanting. Hee hath begun this worke of grace in thee, and therefore (his gifts being without repentance) he will ſurely perfect it. Wait vponupon him then (O my ſoule) by faith, yea, wait vponupon him, not onelyonly with patience, but alſo with ioy and comfort; for he that hath promiſed, will come, and will not tarry, and will Habak. 2. 3.worke in thine heart ſuch ſorrow for thy ſinnes, as he himſelfe ſhall accept as ſufficient; and cauſe thee to bring forth ſuch plentifull fruits of new obedience, as ſhall glorifie him, and ſeale vp in thine heart the aſſurance of thine owne election and ſaluation.
§. Sect. 9 Congratulation and thankſgiuing.
Thrice happy then (my ſoule) art thou now in thy God, who waſt in in thy ſelfe wretched and miſerable: for he hath not onelyonly made with thee the Couenant of grace, wherein hee hath aſſured thee of the pardon of thy ſinnes, and of his fauour, in which conſiſteth thy life and bleſſedneſſe, but alſo hath inabled thee to performe the condition, of faith and repentance, whereby thou art aſſured, that thou haſt thy part and intereſt in all his promiſes. Reioyce therefore in the Lord, and againe, reioyce. Praiſe and Phil. 4. 4.magnifie his great and glorious Name, who hath been ſo good and gracious vntounto thee. Thou waſt in wofull miſery by reaſon of thy ſinnes, and the puniſhments due vntounto them, but hee hath deliuered and made thee happy, and hath both offered vntounto thee ioy and bleſſedneſſe, and alſo the meanes whereby thou maiſt attaine vntounto it. Hee hath ſhewed vntounto thee the way of life, and hath giuen vntounto thee both will and ability to walke in it. What wilt thou now returne vntounto him (O my ſoule) for all the Pſal. 116. 11.good that hee hath done vntounto thee? Yea, what canſt thou returne that is worth acceptance, but that which thou haſt receiued from this fountaine of all goodneſſe? yet though hee hath giuen all vntounto thee, ſomething there is which he will be pleaſed to receiue from thee, as though it were thy gift, euen the ſacrifice of praiſe and thankſgiuing. Nothing elſe canſt thou giuegive but this free-will offring; nothing elſe doth he require, who is ſo abſolute in all perfection, that hee needeth nothing. A fit oblation (my ſoule) frō ſuch a child to ſuch a Father; from ſo meane & poore a ſubiect, to ſo rich and high a Soueraigne. Take then into thine hand the Cup of ſaluation, Pſal. 116. 12. & 150. 2.and praiſe him who is ſo worthy to be praiſed. Praiſe him in his noble acts, praiſe him according to his excellent greatneſſe. Praiſe him in his power and truth; praiſe him for all his grace and goodneſſe. Bleſſe and magnifie him for all his former benefits, and his Chriſt, through whom they are all conferred vponupon thee. And eſpecially, as by preſent occaſion thou art bound, for that he hath giuen vntounto thee the grace of repentance, and renewed and increaſed it by this preſent exerciſe, graciouſly aſſiſting and inabling thee by his holy Spirit to bring it to good iſſue. Praiſe therefore the Lord (O my ſoule) Pſal. 103. 1.and all that is within me, praiſe his holy Name. And now with theſe praiſes, offer and recommend thy ſelfe into the hands of thy gracious God and faithfull Sauiour, who is all-ſufficient to keepe thee vntounto the end, and in the end. Thou art not worthy (worthleſſe ſoule) his receiuing and owning, but ſo much the rather offer thy ſelfe vntounto him who is able to make thee worthy. Deuote and conſecrate thy ſelfe wholly vntounto his ſeruice, and reſolue to glorifie and pleaſe him in all things for the time to come. And becauſe thy reſolutions are weake, thy power ſmall, and thy beſt indeuours full of imperfections, make thy ſeruice as acceptable as thou canſt, by offering thine heart with it, and doing all that thou canſt doe, willingly and cheerfully. Deſire the aſſiſtance of his good Spirit, to direct and guide, rule and ouer-rule thee in all thy thoughts and deſires, words, and workes, that they may in ſome meaſure anſwere vntounto thy reſolutions, and bee pleaſing and acceptable in his ſight. Eſpecially deſire his helpe, that the practice of thy repentance may be ſuteable to thy Meditations, in the whole courſe of thy life; that more and more ſorrowing for thy ſinnes, thou mayeſt hauehave daily more cauſe to reioyce in the aſſurance of his louelove, and thine owne ſaluation, and that turning from them, and returning to thy God, thou mayeſt more and more glorifie him, by bringing forth better and more fruits of new obedience. And now returne vntounto thy reſt (O my ſoule) for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. Repoſe thy ſelfe ſecurely vnderunder the ſhaddow of Pſal. 116. 7.his wings who is able to defend thee, and to cauſe thee in the midſt of garboyles and deſperate dangers, to dvvell in ſafety. God is thy refuge and Pſal. 4. 8.ſtrength, a very preſent helpe in trouble. He hath made thee to heare ioy and gladneſſe, that the bones which he had broken might reioyce. Thou didſt ſow in teares, Pſal. 46. 1.but he hath cauſed thee to reape in ioy. Thou didſt goe forth weeping, bearing Pſal. 126. 5, 6.precious ſeed, but thou art come againe reioycing, bringing thy ſheaues with thee. Bleſſe therefore the Lord, all his workes, in all places of his dominion. Bleſſe the Pſal. 103. 22.Lord, O my ſoule.