A Guide to Godliness, Book 3 · Chapter 32
CAP. XXXII.
Of family duties, which reſpect wiſe and religious gouernement.
§. Sect. 1 What things are required vntounto wiſe gouernement.
ANd theſe are the duties of gouernours in families, which reſpect inſtruction. The ſecond mayne duty, is wiſe and religious gouernment, whereby they are to mooue and draw their inferiours to put in practice, and to make an holy vſe of all which they teach them, in their liues and conuerſations; vntounto which, ſome things are required in the perſons of their gouernours, and ſome things in the adminiſtration of their gouernment. In their perſons diuers things are required. As firſt, wiſedome and Chriſtian prudence in all their courſes, that they may not onelyonly guide themſelues in their owne wayes, but be able alſo to giuegive direction vntounto all that belong vntounto them. For that which the Apoſtle Peter requireth ſpecially of huſbands, doth generally belong vntounto all gouernours, that they dwell with their 1. Pet. 3. 7.inferiours, according to knowledge, as being a principal meanes to gaine from them due honour and authority. Secondly, that they bee not light and vaine in their carriage and gouernement, but behaue themſelues in all things grauely, and with a kinde of Chriſtian Maieſty and authority; according to the example of Iob, who obſerued ſuch grauity in his carriage, that when the young men ſaw him, they hid themſelues, and the aged aroſe and Iob 29. 8, 9.ſtood vp; the Princes refrained talking, and laid their hand on their mouth. The which, as it gaineth authority to gouernours, ſo the contrary leuitie and lightneſſe of behauiour, doth expoſe their perſons to ſcorne, and their gouernement to neglect and contempt. Thirdly, there is required, that piety, iuſtice, and ſobriety, doe ſhine in the whole courſe of their conuerſation, that ſo they may become examples vntounto their inferiours, of an holy, righteous and vnblameable life, then the which, nothing is more powerfull and effectuall, to draw inferiours to imitation of thoſe vertues which they obſerue in them. And therefore Dauid intending a ſtrict reformation of his houſe, beginneth firſt with himſelfe, that hee might be an example vntounto all the reſt, and reſolueth that he will behaue himſelfe wiſely in a perfect way, and walke within his houſe with an vpright heart, and then that hee will baniſh out the wicked from his family, and entertaine and countenance the religious and faithfull of the land. Whereas contrariwiſe, if they take neuer ſo much paines in teaching them their duties, yet if they doe not make their owne liues examples of their rules, but run a contrary courſe in their practice, they ſhall not ſo much further them in the wayes of godlineſſe by their inſtructions, as diſcourage and hinder them by their bad example. Fourthly, they muſt not inſult ouer their inferiours with tyrannicall pride and cruelty, nor doe all they may, by reaſon of their power and authority, to keepe them vnderunder, as baſe vnderlings, out of a fond and falſe opinion, rayſing the pitch of their abſoluteneſſe and greatneſſe, out of their ſlauiſh deiection, who are vnderunder their gouernment; but they muſt mixe with their power and authority, parent-like louelove, brotherly humanity, and Chriſtian mildneſſe and modeſty, that their inferiours may honour them as fathers, as well as feare them like Lords, and may yeeld vntounto them, free, cheerefull, and voluntary obedience, ſubiecting to their gouernement, Rom. 13. 5.not onelyonly their bodies and outward actions, but alſo their hearts, wills, and inward affections. For if the hearts of Kings themſelues must not bee lifted vp aboue their brethren, then much leſſe ſhould the hearts Deut. 17. 20.of inferiour gouernours in families bee thus exalted. Fifthly, they muſt gouerne in the Lord, as his Vice-gerents and Deputies, and chiefly ayme therein at Gods glory, remembring that from him they hauehave all their authority, and that they exerciſe not their owne, but the iudgements of the Lord, according to the ſaying of good Iehoſhaphat to his Iudges; Take 2. Chro. 19. 6.heede what yee doe, for ye iudge not for man, but for the Lord, who is with you in iudgement. And this muſt make them chiefly to aime by their gouernement, to containe their inferiours in the duties of piety and righteouſneſſe, that God may be glorified, both by themſelues, and alſo by all thoſe which are in the family. And finally, they muſt make it appeare in all their gouernement, that they doe not wholly ayme at their owne particular and priuate profit, but alſo at their ioynt good; which is the chiefe cauſe why the Lord hath made them ſuperiours vntounto others, not that they may ſerue their turne of them, and looke no further; but that they may (like the head, the members of the body) gouerne them for their benefit. And this argument the Lord vſeth to perſwade inferiours to honour their ſuperiours, that it might goe well with themſelues, in the land which the Lord gaue Deut. 5. 16.them. And the Apoſtle mooueth them to doe that which is good, vponupon the like reaſon, becauſe their gouernours were the Miniſters of God to them for good if they did well.Rom. 13. 4.
§. Sect. 2 Of the iuſtice & louelove which are required in gouernement.
The things required vntounto the adminiſtration of their gouernement, are iuſtice, and louelove, the which muſt be tempered the one with the other, that louelove may moderate and ſweeten iuſtice, and iuſtice may keepe louelove vnpartiall and vpright, leſt our actions ſauouring of nothing but iuſtice, ſeeme rigorous, and expoſe vsus to hatred; and louelove not guided nor backed by iuſtice, degenerate into doting fondneſſe, and ſo expoſe vsus to contempt; whereas both rightly mixed the one with the other, will cauſe reuerence and obedience. The which mixture muſt bee vſed in all our actions towards all vnderunder our gouernement, although theſe vertues are to bee exerciſed diuerſly, and the one to be more manifeſted then the other, according to occaſion, time, perſons, and deſerts. For though we ought to louelove all, yet thoſe eſpecially who excell in Gods graces, and profit moſt in all religious, Chriſtian, and ciuill duties; and to ſuch, our louelove muſt bee moſt manifeſted, to incourage them to go on in their good courſes, and to draw others to follow their example. The which was Dauids practice, as he profeſſeth; who, though he were indifferently iuſt towards all his ſubiects, yet his louelove exceeded towards the faithfull of the land, and thoſe which walked Pſal. 102. 6.in a perfect way. But eſpecially our louelove and iuſtice muſt appeare in our rewards and chaſtiſements, which are the mayne bonds and very ſinewes of gouernement. We muſt reward thoſe who deſerue well, partly by our words, commending their good actions, which is a great incouragement to well-doing, as the Apoſtle implyeth, when hee vſeth it as a reaſon to perſwade inferiours to their duty; Doe that which is good (ſaith he) and thou ſhalt hauehave praiſe of the ſame; the which, our Sauiour will vſe to Rom. 13. 3.his ſeruants at the laſt day; Well done, good and faithfull ſeruant, thou haſt Mat. 25. 23.beene faithfull ouer a few things, &c. And partly by deeds, the which muſt ſauour both of iuſtice, in giuing them their due wages, and of louelove and bounty, by giuing according to our ability, gifts, to incourage them in their well-deſeruing. Chaſtiſements alſo muſt be vſed towards them, who will not otherwiſe be reclaimed from their faults, nor kept in due order, either in words only, by gentle or more ſharpe reproofes, according to the quality of the offence, or by ſtripes, when nothing elſe will ſerue. For otherwiſe we ſhall offend againſt God in neglecting (being his Deputies) to glorifie 1. Sam. 2. 29.him in his Iuſtice; againſt our ſelues, by becomming acceſſary to their ſins; againſt the parties offending, whom we reclaime not, but ſuffer them to go on in their wickednes to their deſtructions; againſt thoſe of the ſame family, whom by this impunity we incourage to follow their ill example; and the whole ſociety, which is hereby made obnoxious to Gods Iuſtice. But this correction is only good when it is neceſſary, being like a ſharpe ſalue and bitter potion, which none that are wiſe will vſe for wantonneſſe. And therefore his counſell is good, which (as God himſelfe implyeth in Familiā tuā ita rege & confoue, vt te matrem magis tuorum quàm dominam videri velis. Hier. ad Celan.the fifth Commandement) perſwadeth a godly Matrone, that ſhe ſhould ſo gouerne her family and cheriſh it, as that ſhee ſhould rather ſeeme their mother then their miſtriſſe; and draw from them reuerence rather by louing benignitie, then rigorous ſeuerity. For that obedience is alwaies more faithfull and acceptable, which floweth from louelove, then that which is extorted by feare. Yet if there bee no other helpe, but that correction muſt bee vſed as neceſſary; let vsus in it obſerue firſt, iuſtice, both in making ſure, that the fault is committed, and deſerueth puniſhment, and that the puniſhment doe not exceed the qualitie of the fault, which is to rage and reuenge, rather then chaſtize for amendment. Secondly, It muſt be inflicted in louelove, which muſt appeare by moderating the puniſhment, that it doe not exceede neceſſity, reſpecting the parties reformation; and by the end which wee propound in our corrections, which is the good of the partie, in the amendment of his faults for the time to come, which wee muſt alwaies aduance by ioyning admonition and good counſaile with our chaſtizement, with promiſes of louelove and kinde vſage when as wee finde any reformation. Laſtly, this louelove muſt appeare in our patience and forbearance, not comming raſhly and violently vponupon the party, but after wee hauehave tryed in vaine all other meanes. Nor in rage and anger, as though wee came to take reuenge; but temperately and quietly, ſlowly and with god aduice, as propounding no other end but the parties amendment.