Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Devotion 12
Intereà insomnes noctes Ego duco, Diesque. I sleepe not day nor night.
15. MEDITATION.
NAturall Men hauehave cōceiued a two fold vse of sleepe; That it is a refreshing of the body in this life; That it is a preparing of the soule for the next; That it is a feast, and it is the Grace at that feast; That it is our recreation, and cheeres vsus, and it is our Catechisme, and instructs vsus; wee lie downe in a hope, that wee shall rise the stronger; and we lie downe in a knowledge, that wee may rise no more. Sleepe is an Opiate which giues vsus rest, but such an Opiate, as perchance, being vnderunder it, we shall wake no more. But though naturall men, who hauehave induced secondary and figuratiue considerations, hauehave found out this second, this emblematicall vse of sleepe, that it should be a representation of death, God, who wrought and perfected his worke, before Nature began, (for Nature was but his apprentice, to learne in the first seuen daies, and now is his foreman, and works next vnderunder him) God, I say, intended sleepe onelyonly for the refreshing of man by bodily rest, and not for a figure of death, for he intended not death it selfe then. But Man hauing induced death vponupon himselfe, God hath taken Mans Creature, death, into his hand, and mended it; and whereas it hath in it selfe a fearefull forme and aspect, so that Man is afraid of his own Creature, God presents it to him, in a familiar, in an assiduous, in an agreeable, and acceptable forme, in sleepe, that so when hee awakes from sleepe, and saies to himselfe, shall I bee no otherwise when I am dead, than I was euen now, when I was asleep, hee may bee ashamed of his waking dreames, and of his Melancholique fancying out a hor…id and an affrightfull figure of that death which is so like sleepe. As then wee need sleepe to liue out our threescore and ten yeeres, so we need death, to liue that life which we cannot out-liue. And as death being our enemie, God allowes vsus to defend our selues against it (for wee victuall ou… selues against death, twice eueryevery day, as often as we eat) so God hauing so sweetned death vntounto vsus, as hee hath in sleepe, wee put our selues into our Enemies hands once eueryevery day; so farre, as sleepe is death; and sleepe is as much death, as meat is life. This then is the misery of my sicknesse, That death as it is produced from mee, and is mine owne Creature, is now before mine Eies, but in that forme, in which God hath mollified it to vsus, and made it acceptable, in sleepe, I cannot see it: how many prisoners, who hauehave euen hollowed themselues their graues vponupon that Earth, on which they hauehave lion long vnderunder heauie fetters, yet at this houre are …sleepe, though they bee yet working vponupon their owne graues, by their owne waight? hee that hath seene his friend die to day, or knowes hee shall see it to morrow, yet will sinke into a sleepe betweene. I cannot; and oh, if I be entring now into Eternitie, where there shall bee no more distinction of houres, why is it al my businesse now to tell Clocks? why is none of the heauinesse of my heart, dispensed into mine Eie-lids, …hat they might fall as my heart doth? And why, since I hauehave lo…t my delight in all obiects, cannot I discontinue t…e facultie of seeing them, by closing mine Ei…s in sleepe? But why rather being entring into that presence, where I shall wake continually and neuer sleepe more, doe I not interpret my continuall waking here, to bee a p…rasceue, and a preparation to that?
15. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, I know, (for thou hast said it) That he that keepeth Israel,Psa. 121.1. shall neither slumber, nor sleepe: But shall not that Israel, ouer whom thou watchest, sleepe? I know, (for thou hast said it) that there are Men,2 Pet. 2.3. whose damnation sleepeth not; but shall not they to whom thou art Saluation, sleepe? or wilt thou take from them that euidence, and that testimony, that they are thy Israel, or thou their saluation? Thou giuest thy beloued sleepe. Psa. 127 1.Shall I lacke that seale of thy louelove? You shall lie downe, Leu. 26.6.and none shall make you afraid; shal I bee outlawd from that protection? Ion. 1.5.Ionas slept in one dangerous storme, and thy blessed Sonne in another. Mat. 8.24.Shall I hauehave no vse, no benefit, no application of those great Examples? Lord, if hee sleepe, he shall doe well, Io. 11.12.say thy Sonnes Disciples to him, of Lazarus; And shall there bee no roome, for that Argument in me? or shall I bee open to the contrary? If I sleepe not, shall I not bee well, in their sense? Let me not, O my God, take this too precisely, too literally: There is that neither day nor night seeth sleepe with his eies, Eccles. 8.16.saies thy wise seruant Solomon; and whether hee speake that of worldly Men, or of Men that seeke wisdome, whether in iustification or condemnation of their watchfulnesse, we can not tell: wee can t…ll,Pro. 4.16. That there are men, that cannot sleepe, till they hauehave done mischiefe, and …hen they can; and wee can tell that the rich man cannot sleepe, Eccles. 5.12.because his abundance will not let him. Mat. 13.25.28.13.The tares were sowen when the husbandmen were asleepe; And the elders thought it a probable excuse, a credible lie, that the wa…chmen which kept the Sepulchre, should say,26.40. that the bodie of thy son was stolne away, when they were asleepe: Since thy blessed Sonne rebuked his Disciples for sleeping, shall I murmure because I doe not sleepe?Iud. 16.3. If Samson had slept any longer in Gaza, he had beene taken; And when he did sleepe longer with Delilah, he was taken.vers. 19. Sleepe is as often taken for naturall death in thy Scriptures, as for naturall rest. Nay sometimes sleepe ha…h so heauy a sense, as to bee taken for sinne it selfe, Eph. 5.14.as well as for the punishment of sinne, Death. 1 Thes. 5.6.Much comfort is not in much sleepe, when the most fearefull and most irreuocable Malediction is presen…ed by thee,Ier. 51.59. in a perpetuall sleepe. I will make their feasts, and I will make them drunke, and they shall sleepe a perpetuall sleepe, and not wake. I must therefore, O my God, looke farther, than into the very act of sleeping, before I mis-interpret my waking: for since I finde thy whole hand light, shall any finger of that hand seeme heauy? since the whole sicknesse is thy Physicke, shall any accident in it, bee my poison, by my murmuring? The name of Watchmen belongs to our profession; Thy Prophets are not onelyonly seers, indued with a power of seeing, able to see, but Watchmen, euermore in the Act of seeing. And therefore giuegive me leaue, O my blessed God, to inuert the words of thy Sonnes Spouse; she said,Can. 5.8 I sleepe, but my heart waketh; I say, I wake, but my heart sleepeth; My body is in a sicke wearinesse, but my soule in a peacefull rest with thee; and as our eies, in our health, see not the Aire, that is next them, nor the fire, nor the spheares, nor stop vponupon any thing, till they come to starres, so my eies, that are open, see nothing of this world, but passe through all that, and fix themselues vponupon thy peace, and ioy, and glory aboue. Almost as soone as thy Apostle had said, Let vsus not sleepe, 1 Thes. 5.6.lest we should be too much discomforted, if we did, he saies againe,vers. 10. whether we wake or sleepe, let vsus liue together with Christ. Though then this absence of sleepe, may argue the presence of death (the Originall may exclude the Copie, the life, the picture) yet this gentle sleepe, and rest of my soule betroths mee to thee, to whom I shall bee married indissolubly, though by this way of dissolution.
15. PRAYER.
O Eternall and most gracious God, who art able to make, and dost make the sicke bed of thy seruants, Chappels of ease to them, and the dreames of thy seruants, Prayers, and Meditations vponupon thee, let not this continuall watch…ulnes of mine, this inabilitie to sleepe, which thou hast laid vponupon mee, bee any disquiet, or discomfort to me, but rather an argument, that thou wouldest not hauehave me sleepe in thy presence. What it may indicate or signifie, concerning the state of my body, let them consider to whom that consideration belongs; doe thou, who onelyonly art the Physitian of my soule, tell her, that thou wilt afford her such defensatiues as that shee shall wake euer towards thee, and yet euer sleepe in thee; & that through all this sicknesse, thou wilt either preserue mine vnderstanding, from all decaies and distractions, which these watchings might occasion, or that thou wilt reckon, and account with me, from before those violencies, and not call any peece of my sicknesse, a sinne. It …s a heauy, and indelible sinne, that I brought into the world wi…h me… It is a heauy and innu…merable multitude of sins, which I hauehave heaped vp since; I hauehave sinned behind thy backe (if that can be done) by wilfull absteining from thy Congregations, and omitting thy seruice, and I hauehave sinned before thy face, in my hypocrisies in Prayer, in my ostentation, and the mingling a respect of my selfe, in preaching thy Word; I hauehave sinned in my fasting by repining, when a penurious fortune hath kept mee low; And I hauehave sinned euen in that fulnesse, when I hauehave been at thy table, by a negligent examination, by a wilfull preuarication, in receiuing that heauenly food and Physicke. But, as I know, O my gracious God, that for all those sinnes committed since, yet thou wilt consider me, as I was in thy purpose, when thou wrotest my name in the booke of Life, in mine Election: so into what deuiations so…uer I stray, and wander, by occasion of this sicknes, O God, returne thou to that Minute, wherein thou wast pleased with me, and consider me in that condition.