Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Devotion 10
13. Ingenium que malum, numeroso stigmate, fassus Pellitur ad pectus, Morbi que Suburbia, Morbus. The Sicknes declares the infection… …nd malignity thereof ….
13. MEDITATION.
WEe say, that the world is made of sea, & land, as though they were equal; but we know that ther is more sea in the Western, thē in the Eastern Hemisphere … We say that the Firmament is full of starres; as though it were equally full; but we know, that there are more stars vnderunder the Northerne, then vnderunder the Southern Pole. Wee say, the Elements of man are misery, and happinesse, as though he had an equal proportion of both, and the dayes of man vicissitudinary, as though he had as many good daies, as ill, and that he liud vnderunder a perpetuall Equinoctial, night, and day equall, good and ill fortune in the same measure. But it is far frō that; hee drinkes misery, & he tastes happinesse; he mowes misery, and hee gleanes happinesse; hee iournies in misery, he does but walke in happinesse; and which is worst, his misery is positiue, and dogmaticall, his happinesse is but disputable, and problematicall; All men call Misery, Misery, but Happinesse changes the name, by the taste of man. In this accident that befalls m…e now, that this sicknesse declares it selfe by Spots, to be a malignant, and pestilentiall disease, if there be a comfort in the declaration, that therby the Phisicians see more cleerely what to doe, there m…y bee as much discomfort in this, That the malignitie may bee so great, as that all that they can doe, shall doe nothing; That an enemy declares himselfe, then, when he is able to subsist, and to pursue, and to atchiue his ends, is no great comfort. In intestine Conspiracies, voluntary Confessions doe more good, then confessions vponupon the Rack; In these Infections, when Nature her selfe confesses, and cries out by these outward declarations, which she is able to put forth of her selfe, they minister comfort; but when all is by the strength of Cordials, it is but a Confession vponupon the Racke, by which though wee come to knowe the malice of that man, yet wee doe not knowe, whether there bee not as much malice in his heart then, as before his confession; we are sure of his Treason, but not of of his Repentance; sure of him, but not of his Complices. It is a faint comfort to know the worst, when the worst is remedilesse; and a weaker then that, to know much ill, & not to know, that that is the worst. A woman is comforted with the birth of her Son, her body is eased of a burthen; but if shee could prophetically read his History, how ill a man, perchance how ill a sonne, he would proue, shee should receiue a greater burthē into her Mind. Scarce any purchase that is not cloggd with secret encumbrāces; scarce any happines, that hath not in it so much of the nature of false and base money, as that the Allay is more then the Mettall. Nay is it not so, (at least much towards it) euen in the exercise of Vertues? I must bee poore, and want, before I can exercise the vertue of Gratitude; miserable, and in torment, before I can exercise the vertue of patience; How deepe do we dig, and for how course gold? And what other Touch-stone hauehave we of our gold, but comparison? Whether we be as happy, as others, or as our selus at other times; O poore stepp toward being well, when these spots do only tell vsus, that we are worse, then we were sure of before.
13. EXPOSTVLATION.
MY God, my God, thou hast made this sick bed thine Altar, and I hauehave no other Sacrifice to offer, but my …elf; and wilt thou accept no …potted sacrifice? Doeth …hy Son dwel bodily in this flesh, that thou shouldst looke for an vnspottednes here? Or is the Holy Ghost, the soule of this body, as he is of thy Spouse, Can. 4.7.who is therfore all faire, and no spot in her? or hath thy Son himself no spots, who hath al our stains, & deformities in him? Or hath thy Spouse, thy Church, no spots, when eueryevery particular limbe of that faire, & spotles body, eueryevery p…rticular soule in that Church is full of staines, and spots? Thou bidst vsus hate the garment, Iud. 23.that is spotted with the flesh. The flesh it selfe is the garment, and it spotteth it selfe, with it self. And if I wash my selfe with snow water; Iob 9.30.mine own clothes shall make me abominable; and yet no man yet euer hated his owne flesh: Ephes. 5.29.Lord, if thou looke for a spotlesnesse, whom wilt thou looke vponupon? Thy mercy may goe a great way in my soule, & yet not leaue me without spots; Thy corrections may go far, & burn deepe, and yet not leaue me spotles: thy children apprehended that, whē they said,Iosua 22.17. From our former iniquitie wee are not cleansed, vntill this day, though there was a plague in the Congregation of the Lord; Thou r…in…st vponupon vsus, and yet doest not alwaies mollifie all our hardnesse; Thou kindlest thy fires in vsus, and yet doest not alwayes burne vp all our drosse; Thou healst our woūds, and yet leauest scarres; Thou purgest the blood, and yet leauest spots. But the spots that thou hatest, are the spotts that we hide.Sap. 13.14. The Caruers of Images couer spotts, sayes the Wise man; When we hide our spotts, wee become Idolatrers of our owne staines, of our own foulenesses. But if my spots come forth, by what meanes soeuer, whether by the strēgth of Nature, by voluntary confessiō, (for Grace is the Nature of a Regenerate man, and the power of Grace is the strength of Nature) or by the vertue of Cordialls, (for euē thy Corrections are Cordials) if they come forth either way, thou receiuest that Confession with a gracious Interpretation.Gen. 30.33. When thy seruant Iacob practised an Inuention to procure spotts in his sheepe, thou diddest prosper his Rodds; and thou dost prosper thine owne Rodds, when corrections procure the discouery of our spotts, the humble manifestation of our sinns to thee; Till then thou maist iustly say, The whole need not the Phisician; Mat. 9.12.Till wee tell thee in our sicknes, wee think our selues whole, till we shew our spotts, thou appliest no medicine. But since I do that, shall I not,Iob 11.15. Lord, lift vp my face without spot, and be stedfast, and not feare. Euen my spotts belong to thy Sonnes body, and are part of that, which he came downe to this earth, to fetch, and challenge, and assume to himselfe. When I open my spotts, I doe but present him with that which is His, and till I do so, I detaine, & withhold his right. VVhen therfore thou seest them vponupon me, as His, and seest them by this way of Confession, they shall not appear to me, as the pinches of death, to decline my feare to Hell; (for thou hast not left th… holy one in Hell, thy Sonne is not there) but these spotts vponupon my Breast, and vponupon my Soule, shal appeare to mee as the Constellations of the Firmament, to direct my Contemplation to that place, where thy Son is, thy right hand.
13. PRAYER.
O Eternall, and most g…atious God, who as thou giuest all for nothing, if we consider any precedent Merit in vsus, so giu'st Nothing, for Nothing, if we consider the acknowledgement, & thankefullnesse, which thou lookest for, after, accept my humble thankes, both for thy Mercy, and for this particular MercieMercy, that in thy Iudgement I can discerne thy MercieMercy, and find comfort in thy corrections. I know, O Lord, the ordinary discomfort that accompanies that phrase, That the house is visited, And that, that thy markes, and thy tokens are vponupon the patient; But what a wretched, and disconsolate Hermitage is that House, which is not visited by thee, and what a Wayue, and Stray is that Man, that hath not thy Markes vponupon him? These hea…es, O Lord, which thou hast broght vponupon this body, are but thy chafing of the wax, that thou mightest seale me to thee; These spots are but the letters; in which thou hast written thine owne Name, and conueyed thy selfe to mee; whether for a present possession, by taking me now, or for a future renersion, by glorifying thy selfe in my stay here, I limit not, … condi…ion not, I choose not, I wish not, no more then the house, or land that passeth by any Ciuill conueyance. OnelyOnly be thou euer present to me, O my God, and this bed-chamber, & thy bed-chamber shal be all one roome, and the closing of these bodily Eyes here, and the opening of the Eyes of my Soule, there, all one Act.