Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Devotion 2
2. Actio Laesa. The strength, and the functiō of the Senses, & other faculties change and faile.
2. MEDITATION.
THe Heauens are not the lesse constant, because they moue continually, because they moue continually one and the same way. The Earth is not the more constant, because it lyes stil continually, because continually it changes, and melts in al the parts thereof. Man, who is the noblest part of the Earth, melts so away, as if he were a statue, not of Earth, but of Snowe. We see his owne Enuie melts him, hee growes leane with that; he will say, anothers beautie melts him; but he feeles that a Feuer doth not melt him like snow, but powr him out like lead, like yron, like brasse melted in a furnace: It doth not only melt him, but Calcine him, reduce him to Atomes, and to ashes; not to water, but to lime. And how quickly? Sooner then thou canst receiue an answer, sooner then thou canst conceiue the question; Earth is the center of my body, Heauen is the center of my Soule; these two are the naturall place of these two; but tho… goe not to these two, i… an equall place: My b…dy falls downe withou… pushing, my Soule do… not go vp without pu…ling: Ascension is m… Soules pace & measur… but precipitation my b…dies: And, euen Angell… whose home is Heaue… and who are winge… too, yet had a Ladder … goe to Heauen, by step… The Sunne who goes … many miles in a minu… The Starres of the Fi…mament, which go so very many more, goe not so fast, as my body to the earth. In the same instant that I feele the first attempt of the disease, I feele the victory; In the twinckling of an eye, I can scarse see; instantly the tast is insipid, and fatuous; instantly the appetite is dull and desirelesse… instantly the knees are sinking and strengthlesse; and in an instant, sleepe, which is the picture, the copy of death, is taken away, that the Originall, Death it selfe may succeed, and that so I might hauehave death to the life. It was part of Adams punishment, In the sweat of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread … it is multiplied to me, I hauehave earned bread in the sweat of my browes, in the labor of my calling, and I hauehave it… and I sweat againe, & againe, from the brow… to the sole of the foot… but I eat no bread, I tast no sustenance: Miserable distribution of Mankind, where one halfe lackes meat, and the other stomacke.
2. EXPOSTVLATION.
DAuid professes himself a dead dog, 1 Sam. 24 15.to his king Saul, & so doth Mephibosheth to his king Dauid: 2 Sam. 9.8.& yet Dauid speaks to Saul, and Mephibosheth to Dauid. No man is so little, in respect of the greatest man, as the greatest in respect of God; for here, in that, wee hauehave not so much as a measure to try it by; proportiō is no measure for infinitie. He that hath no more of this world but a graue, hee that hath his graue but lent him, til a better man, or another man, must bee buried in the same graue, he that hath no graue, but a dung-hill, hee that hath no more earth, but that which he carries, but that which hee is, hee that hath not that earth, which hee is, but euen in that, is anothers slaue, hath as much proportion to God, as if all Dauids Worthies, and all the worlds Monarchs, and all imaginations Gyants were kneaded and incorporated into one, and as though that one were the suruiuor of all the sonnes of men, to whom God had giuen the world. And therefore how little soeuer I bee, as God calls things that are not, as though they were, I, who am as though I were not, may call vponupon God, and say, My God, my God, why comes thine anger so fast vponupon me? Why dost thou melt me, scatter me, powre me like water vponupon the ground so instantly? Thou staidst for the first world, in Noahs time, 120 yeres; thou staidst for a rebellious generation in the wildernesse 40 yeares, wilt thou stay no minute for me? Wilt thou make thy Processe, and thy Decree, thy Citation, and thy Iudgement but one act? Thy Summons, thy Battell, thy Victorie, thy Triumph, all but one act; & lead me captiue, nay deliuer me captiue to death, assoon as thou declarest mee to be enemy, and so cut me off euen with the drawing of thy sword out of the scabberd, and for that question, How long was he sicke? leaue no other answere, but that the hand of death pressed vponupon him from the first minute? My God, my God, thou wast not wont to come in whirlwinds, but in soft and gentle ayre. Thy first breath breathed a Soule into mee, and shall thy breath blow it out? Thy breath in the Congregation, thy Word in the Church, breathes communion, and consolation here, and consummation heereaf…er; shall thy breath in this Chamber breathe dissolution, and destruction, diuorce, and separation? Surely it is not thou; it is not thy hand. The deuouring sword, the consuming fire, the winds from the wildernes, the diseases of the body, all that afflicted Iob, were from the hand of Satan; it is not thou. It is thou; Thou my God, who hast led mee so continually with thy hand, from the hand of my Nurce, as that I know, thou wilt not correct mee, but with thine own hand. My parents would not giuegive mee ouer to a Seruants correction, nor my God, to Satans. 2 Sam. 24.14.I am fallen into the handes of God with Dauid, and with Dauid I see that his Mercies are great. For by that mercy, I consider in my present state, not the haste, & the dispatch of the disease, in dissoluing this body… so much, as the much more hast, & dispatch, which my God shal vse, in recollecting… and reuniting this dust againe at the Resurrection. Then I shall heare his Angels proclaime the Surgite M…rtui… Rise yee dead. Though I be dead I shall heare the voice the spunding of the voice, and the working of the voice shall be all one; and all shall rise there in a lesse Minute, then any one dies here.
2. Prayer.
O Most gracious God, who pursuest and perfitest thine own purposes, and dost not only remember mee by the first accesses of this sicknes, that I must die, but informe me by this further proceeding therin, that I may die now, who hast not only waked mee with the first, but cald me vp, by casting me further downe, and clothd me with thy selfe, by stripping me of my selfe, and by dulling my bodily senses, to the meats, and eases of this world, hast whet, and sharpned my spirituall senses, to the apprehension of thee, by what steps & degrees soeuer it shal please thee to go, in the dissolution of this body, hasten O Lord that pace, and multiply O my God those degrees, in the exaltation of my Soule, toward thee now, & to thee then. My tast is not gone away, but gone vp to sit at Dauids table, To tast, Psa. 34.8& see, that the Lord is good: My stomach is not gone, but gone vp, so far vpwards toward the Supper of the Lamb, with thy Saints in heauen, as to the Table, to the Cōmunion of thy Saints heere in earth: my knees are weak but weak therfore that I should easily fall to, and fix my selfe long vponupon my deuotions to thee.Prou. 14.30. A sound heart is the life of the flesh; & a heart visited by thee, and directed to thee, by that visitation is a sound hart. There is no soundnesse in my flesh, Psa. 38.3because of thin… anger. Interpret thin… owne worke, and call this sicknes, correction and not anger, & there is soundnes in my flesh… There is no rest in my bones, Ibid.because of my sinne; transfer…e my sinnes, with which thou ar… so displeased, vponupon him, with whome thou art so well pleased, Christ Iesus, and there will be rest in my bones: And, O my God, who madest thy selfe a Light in a Bush, in the middest of these brambles, & thornes of a sharpe sicknesse, appeare vntounto me so, that I may see thee, and know thee to be my God, applying thy selfe to me, euen in these sharp, and thorny passages. Doe this, O Lord, for his sake, who was not the lesse, the King o… Heauen, for thy suffering him to be crowned with thornes, in this world.