Exposition of Proverbs 11-12, Biblical commentary · Chapter 12 · Verse 4
Verſe 4. A vertuous woman is the crowne of her huſband: but ſhe that maketh him aſhamed is a rottennes in his bones.
A Vertuous woman, which feareth God, and loueth her huſband, and is faithful in her calling, is a crowne to her huſband, ſhe is for his honour and credit, and conſequently for his profit and comfort. But ſhe that maketh him aſhamed, which either by her lewdnes, and rudenes doth bring him into contempt, or at leaſt maketh him to hold downe his head, or by negligence, pride, and waſtfulnes doth weaken his eſtate, and bringeth him to want, ſhe is a rottennes in his bones, that is, a torment and corraſiue to his heart, as grieuous as the ach of the bones, or corruption of the marrow, which is more painfull and incurable than an vlcer in the fleſh. The antitheſis is thus: A vertuous woman is the crowne of her husband, and ſo a great ioy and gladnes to his heart: but a vicious woman is a ſhame to her husband, and as a rottennes in his bones.
Doct. No outward thing in all the world is better than a good wife. It is not ſo well with a rich man that hath his houſe ſtored with abundance of wealth, as with a poore man that hath his houſe garniſhed with a Chriſtian wife, ſo that hee be alſo a godly man, and a faithfull husband. By this meanes hee may be made conſpicuous, though his ſtate and degree were otherwiſe obſcure: and it is lawfull in this ſort, for a meane ſubiect, without diſloyaltie to his Prince, to weare a crowne of good reputation and credit. If the valew and brightnes of pearles and precious ſtones draw mens eyes to behold them that poſſeſſe and weare them, much more will this rich iewell, whoſe price and beautie exceedeth the beſt of them. For God himſelfe who ſeeth eueryevery ſort of them, and eueryevery one of them, and knoweth their ſeuerall worths, and hath made them all, hee ſetteth a gracious wife at an higher rate than any of them, and ſaith, that her price is farre aboue Carbuncles.Prou. 31. 10.
Reaſons. 1 Firſt, they are very ſcarce and hard to come by, and therefore it is ſaid, Who ſhall finde a vertuous woman? There are incompatably Prou. 31. 10.more wiues than God will praiſe for good wiues, and more maides and widowes than hee will commend to good men to match with. As therefore thoſe that are gracious are rare, ſo are they alſo the more remarkable, and ſo they more adorne their husbands. If crownes were as commonly worne as hats, men would eſteeme of hats as much as of crownes.
Secondly, good wiues to godly men are all of the Lords prouiding, he made the match in merciemercy and fauour, and therefore Prou. 18. 22.the more to be regarded. He more immediatly declareth his louelove in this, than in beſtowing lands and liuings, or any other goods or ſubſtance. So ſaith this Scripture: Houſe and riches are the inheritance of the fathers: but a prudent wife commeth of the Lord: Prou. 19. 14.
Thirdly; man hath more intereſt in his wife, than he can hauehave in any other creature. She is appropriated to him with neereſt bonds of vnion. She is not ſo properly called his, as a part of him, and one fleſh with him. As the two parts of man, ſoule and body make one perſon; ſo two perſons, man and woman, make one matrimoniall bodie. Then how ſhould he not take comfort in her graces and gifts, which are made his owne together with her?
Fourthly, the benefits which a vertuous wife doth bring to a worthy husband, are manifold, and worthie to be regarded. She will labour to refreſh his heart with comfort, and to preſerue his bodie in health: ſhe will be a helper for his familie, and prouident for his ſtate: ſhe will be tender of his credite, and cheerefull to his friends: ſhe will eueryevery way applie her ſelfe to ſhew her louelove, and procure his beſt proſperitie. Theſe we ſhall handle particularlie in the one and thirtie chapter, if God permit vsus to proceede ſo farre. Contrarie to the waies of this good woman is the behauiour of a bad wife, who worketh both ſhame and griefe to her huſband. All her ſinfulneſſe maketh him aſhamed, vnleſſe hee bee ſhameleſſe, which is his greater ſhame. A wicked ſonne is a blot to his father, and a diſordered ſeruant is no credit to his maiſter, and therefore much more doth an vngodly wife diſgrace and blemiſh her yoke-fellow. And as ſhe putteth matter of talk into other mens mouthes, ſo ſhe laieth burdens vponupon his backe, and powreth ſorrowes into his heart by contempt, and wrongs, and indignities. Oh the calamitie of them that are put to harbour their enemies harlots in their owne beds, and boſoms! And what a miſerie is it for a man to commit the greateſt part of his ſubſtance to her that is a priuie theefe, whereby ſhee hath all before her, to chooſe what ſhee will to rob him of! And hard is their caſe whoſe wiues are meere ſpies to know, and diſcouer, and publiſh abroad their ſecrets, and faults, and infirmities to their great reproach. And what ſhall wee ſpeake of ſuch as are ſwiniſh with drunkenneſſe? and of gadders, and buſie bodies abroad? which in all contentions are alwaies parties, and whereſoeuer they come, they raiſe contentions? What comfort doe theſe women miniſter to their husbands that louelove peace, and ſobrietie? As for ſuch as are turbulent in their owne houſes, and froward, and rebellious againſt their head, the ſpirit of God telleth vsus, what profitable, pleaſant, and amiable companions they be. In the ninteenth chapter of this booke it is ſaid, that the contentions of a wife Prou 19. 13.are like a continuall dropping. Conſider what vexation it is for a man to hauehave raine falling faſt vponupon his head, and bodie, eſpecially if there be no intermiſſion that he may drie himſelfe againe: and moſt of all if it be through the roofe of his houſe to rot his timber, and ſpoile his ſtuffe, and take away the comfort of his meate and reſt: when at bed and boord, and eueryevery where, hee ſhall be as it were vnderunder a running ſpout. And elſewhere he affirmeth, that it is better to dwell in a corner of the houſe top, (that is on a pinnacle Prou. 21. 9.vponupon the top of the houſe without) then with a contentious woman in a wide houſe. And yet more in the ſame chapter, that it is better to dwell in the wilderneſſe among wild beaſts, then with a contentious verſ. 19.and angrie woman.
Vſe. 1 Inſtruction to ſuch as be vnmarried to hauehave principall reſpect of vertue and grace in their choice. As for parentage, perſonage, portion, and other things of like nature, let them be regarded, if they waite vponupon religion, and pietie, otherwiſe ſuffer them not to put wiues vponupon you, or rather preſſe ſorrow, and ſhame vponupon you, as many feele to their woe, which onelyonly looke to outward things. 2. To ſuch as are maried, if God hath vouchſafed them that merciemercy to giuegive them vertuous women, let them both giuegive him the praiſe, and take the comfort to themſelues, whether they bee rich or poore, and vſe all good vſage and incouragement to ſuch good yokefellowes. A iuſt teſtimonie and commendations of them, and ſometimes vntounto them, ſufficient allowance both of libertie Pro. 31. 29. 31.and maintenance, according to their husbands abilitie, is due vntounto them, in equitie and iuſtice. But whatſoeuer their abilitie is, they are able to ſhew kindneſſe, and good countenance to them, and that muſt not be wanting. Saint Paul would hauehave huſbands to louelove their wiues therfore, becauſe they are wiues, and to Col. 3. 19.be bitter to none, much leſſe to be fierce, and churliſh, and boiſterous to them that are good. But if they bee yoked with thoſe of the other ſort, their miſerie is a good motiue to ſend them to God to ſeeke his helpe, and more to labour to pleaſe him themſelues, that he may make their wiues to be better vntounto them. For if it be in his hand before marriage to make them godly, and to prepare them for his ſeruants, it is as much alſo in his power to conuert them afterwards: which if he doe not, yet they ſhall hauehave more ſtrength to beare the burden with greater eaſe.
Reproofe of their ſinne and follie, that like nothing leſſe, nor labour againſt any thing ſo much as to hauehave their wiues to bee religious and godly. They more hate pietie and grace, then they louelove beautie and wealth, and would ſooner chuſe one of no ſubſtance, then of great goodnes. But indeede they are not driuen to that extremity, it is no difficult matter to many that hauehave great riches, to be of little ſanctification, and therefore they hauehave their deſires double ſatiſfied in getting wealth & wickednes together. How many doe we daily ſee that withhold their wiues from all good meanes of godlines: that diſſwade them, diſcourage them, and ſometimes by ſtrong hand reſtraine them from comming to the preaching of Gods holy word, whereby their ſoules might be inſtructed? How many teach their wiues pride, and ſtraine themſelues beyond their abilitie to maintaine them in gariſhnes? How many doe bring their wiues into ſuch company, and to ſuch exerciſes, as infect their eyes, and eares, and tongues, and heart, and eueryevery ſenſe with luſt and wantonneſſe? Is it not righteous from God that theſe husbands ſhould bee plagued with the lauiſhnes, and ſtubberneſſe, and whoriſhneſſe of their wiues, which hauehave ſo poyſoned their ſoules, and drawne them to ſuch lewde and ſinfull behauiour?