Thirty-One Epigrams, Epigrams

Thirty-One Epigrams · Epigrams

Of Abbayes.

AS I walked alone

and muſed on thynges,

That hauehave in my time

bene done by great kings.

I bethought me of Abbayes

that ſometyme I ſawe,

Whiche are nowe ſuppreſſed

all by a lawe.

O Lorde (thought I then)

what occaſion was here,

To prouide for learninge

and make pouertye chere?

The landes and the Iewels

that hereby were hadde,

Would hauehave foūd godly prechers

whiche might well hauehave ladde:

The people aright

that nowe go aſtraye,

And hauehave fedde the pore

that famiſhe euerye daye.

But as I thus thought

it came to my mynde,

That the people wyll not ſe

but delite to be blynde,

Wherfore they are not worthy

good preachers to hauehave,

Nor yet to be prouided for

but ſtyll in vayne to craue.

Than ſayd I (O Lorde God)

make this time ſhorte,Mat. 24.Matt 24

For their ſakes onelyonly Lorde

that be thy choſen ſort.

Of Alehouſes

NEades muſt we hauehave places

for vitailes to be ſolde,

For ſuch as be ſicke

pore, feble, and olde.

But lorde to howe greate

abuſe they be growne,

In eche lyttle Hamlet,

village, and towne.

They are become places

of waſte and exceſſe,

An herber for ſuch menne

as lyue in idlenes.

And lyghtlye in the contrey

they are placed ſo,

That they ſtande in mens waye

whan they ſhoulde to churche go.

And than ſuche as louelove not

to heare their faultes told

By the miniſter that readeth

the new teſtamente and olde.

Do turne into the alehouſe

and let the churche go.

Yea, and men accounted wiſe

and honeſte do ſo.

But London (God be prayſed)

all menne maye commend

Whiche doeth nowe this greate

enormitie emende

For in Seruice tyme

no dore ſtandeth vp,A cōmendation of London.

Where ſuche men are wonte

to fyll canne and cuppe.

Woulde God in the contrey

they woulde do the ſame

Eyther for goddes feare

or for worldely ſhame.

How hallow they the Saboth

that do the time ſpende,

In drynkinge and idlenes

tyll the daye be at an ende?

Not ſo well as he doeth

that goeth to the plowe,

Or pitcheth vp the ſheues

from the carte to the mowe.

Mat. xiiiMatt 13But he doeth make holye

the Sabothe in dede,

That heareth Goddes worde

and helpeth ſuche as nede.

Of Allayes.

TWo ſortes of Allayes

in London I finde,

The one agaynſte the lawe

and the other againſte kinde.

The firſte is where bowlinge

forbidden menne vſe,

And waſtynge their good

do their laboure refuſe.

A diſpraiſe of London.But in London (alas)

ſome men are deuilliſhelye

Suffered to profeſſe it,

as an arte to lyue by.

Well I wyll ſaye no more

but ſuche as lyue ſo,

And officers that ſuffer them

ſhall togither go.

To Satan their fire

for of god they are not,

Who commaundeth to laboure

ſyxe dayes ye wotte.Exo. xxiii.Exod 23

And the ſeuenth he commaundeth

all menne to ſanctifie,

In beynge well occupied

and not idlelye

The other ſorte of Allayes

that be agaynſte kynde,Allayes agaynſte kynde.

Do make my herte wepe

whan they come to my mind.

For there are pore people

welmoſte innumerable,

That are dryuen to begge,

and yet to worcke they are able.

If they might hauehave althinges

prouided aright,

Alas, is not thys,

a greate ouer ſyght?

Ye Aldermen and other

that take Allaye rente

Why beſtowe ye not the riches

that god hath you ſente.

In woule or in flaxe

to finde them occupied

That nowe lye and begge

by euerye highe waye ſide.

And you that be chiefe

and hauehave the commune treaſure

Why can you neuer finde

a time of leaſure

To ſe where the treaſure

will finde them workinge

To the profit of the Citye

in ſome maner thinge

But (alas) this my tale,

is to deafe men tolde

For the charitie of rich men

is nowe thorowe colde.

And this is a Citye

in name, but in dede

It is a packe of people

that ſeke after mede.Loke the diffinitiō of a citye you that be ſerued

For officers and all

do ſeke their owne gaine,

But for the wealth of y^e commons

not one taketh paine

An hell without order

I maye it well call

Where euerye man is for him ſelfe

and no manne for all.

Of Almes houſes.

A Marchaunte that longe tyme

hadde bene in ſtraunge landes

Returned to hys contrey

whiche in Europe ſtandes:

And in his returne

hys waye laye to paſſe,

By a Spittle houſe not farre from

where his dwelling was.

He loked for this hoſpitall

but none coulde he ſe,

For a Lordely houſe was builte

where the hoſpitall ſhoulde be.

Good Lorde (ſayd this marchaūt)

is my contrey ſo wealthy?

That the verye beggers houſes

be builte ſo gorgeouſlye?

Than by the waye ſyde

hym chaunced to ſe,

A pore manne that craued

of hym for charitie.

Whye (quod thys Marchaunt)

what meaneth thys thynge?

Do ye begge by the waye

and hauehave a houſe for a kynge?

Alas ſyr (quod the pore man)

we are all turned oute,

And lye and dye in corners

here and there aboute.

Men of greate riches,

hauehave bought our dwellinge place,

And whan we craue of them

they turne waye their face.

Lorde God (quod this marchaūt)

in Turkye hauehave I bene,

Yet emonge thoſe Heathen,

none ſuch crueltie hauehave I ſene

The vengeaunce of god

muſte fall, no remedye,

VponUpon theſe wicked men

and that verye ſhortelye.

Of Baylife Arrantes.

A Baylife there was

in the weſte contrey,

That did as they do

in all quarters men ſaye.

He ſerued with one wryte

an whole ſcore or twayne,

And toke in hande to excuſe them

hauinge pence for hys payne.

And when he ſhould warne a queſt

in ſeſſions to appeare,

He woulde ſurely warne them

that woulde make him no cheare.

And than take a bribe

to make anſwere for them,

But when he metie his frendes

than woulde he ſaye but hem.

But ſuch as had no cheare

nor money to paye

Were ſure to trudge,

to the ſeſſions alwaye.

The baylifes hadlandeYe muſt geue him ſome thynge.

to ſowe his hadlande

Or elſe ye can hauehave,

no fauoure at his hande.

Some puddyngis or Baken,

or cheſe for to eate

A buſhell of barley,

ſome malt or ſome wheate.

His hadland is good grownd,

and beareth all thynge

Be it Baken or beffe,

ſtockefyſhe or lynge.

Thus pore men are pold,

and pyld to the bare

By ſuch as ſhoulde ſerue them:

to kepe them from care.

Of Bawdes.

THe bawdis of the ſtues

be turned all out

But ſome thinke they inhabit,

al England through out

In tauerns and tiplyng houſes,

many myght be founde

If officers would make ſerch

but as they are bounde

Well let them take heede

I wyll ſay no more

But when god reuengeth

he puniſheth ſore

An horrible thynge,

it is for to fall

Into that Lordis handisHebr. x.Heb 10

that is eternall

Of Beggers.

THe Beggars whome nede

compelleth to craue

Ought at our handis

ſome reliefe to hauehave

But ſuch as do counterfayt,

haueynge theyr ſtrength

To labour if they luſte,

beyng knowne at the length

Ought to be conſtrayned,

to worcke what they can

And lyue on theyr laboures

as beſemeth a chriſtyan

And if they refuſe

to worcke for theyr meate

i. Tim iii1 Tim 3Then ought they to faſte

as not worthy to eate

And ſuch as be ſore

and wyll not be healed

Oughte not many caſe

to be chariſhed

I heard of two beggars

Of two beggersthat vnderunder an hedge ſate

who dyd wyth longe talke

theyr matters debate.

They had boeth ſore legges

moſt lothſome to ſe

Al rawe from the fote

welmoſt to the knee

My legge, quod the one

I thank god is fayre

So is myne (quod the other)

in a colde ayre

For then it loketh rawe

and as redde as any bloud

I would not hauehave it healed

for any worldis good

For were it once whole

my lyuinge were gone,

And for a ſturdye begger

I ſhoulde be take anone.

No manne woulde pittye me

but for my ſore legge,

Wherfore if it were whole

I might in vaine begge.

I ſhoulde be conſtrained

to laboure and ſweate,

And perhaps ſometime

wyth ſchourges be beate.

Well (ſayde the tother)

lette vsus take hede therefore,

That we let them nor heate

but kepe them ſtyll ſore.

An other thynge I hearde

of a begger that was lame,Of an other begger.

Muche like one of theſe

if it were not the ſame.

Who ſyttinge by the fire

wyth the cuppe in hys hande.

Began to wonder whan

he ſhoulde be a good huſbande.

I ſhall neuer thriue

(quod this beger) I wene,

For I gate but .xvi.d. to daye

and hauehave ſpente eyghtene.

Well let the worlde wagge

we muſte neades hauehave drynke

Go fyll me this quarte pot

full to the brynke,

The tonge muſte hauehave baſtinge

it wyll the better wagge,

To pull a goddes penye

out of a churles bagge.

Yet ceſſe not to gyue to all

wythoute anye regarde,

Thoughe the beggers be wicked

thou ſhalte hauehave thy rewarde.

Of Bearbaytynge.

WHat follye is thys?

to kepe wyth daunger,

A greate maſtyfe dogge

and a foule ouglye Beare.

And to this onelye ende

to ſe them two fyght,

Wyth terrible tearynge

a full ouglye ſyght.

And yet me thynke thoſe men

be mooſte foles of all

Whoſe ſtore of money

is but verye ſmale.

And yet euerye ſondaye

they wyll ſurelye ſpende,

One penye or two

the bearwardes liuyng to mende.

At Paryſe garden eche ſondaye

a man ſhall not fayle,Pariſe garden

To find two or thre hundredes

for the bearwardes vaile.

One halpenye a piece

they vſe for to giuegive

When ſome hauehave no more

in their purſe I beleue.

Well, at the laſte daye

theyr conſcience wyll declare

That the pore ought to hauehave

all that they maye ſpare.

Eccle. iiiiEccl 4For God hathe commaunded

that what we maye ſpare,

Be geuen to the pore

that be full of care.

If you giuegive it therefore

to ſe a Beare fyght,

Be ye ſure goddes curſe

wyl vponupon you lyght.

Of Brawlers.

A Brawler that loueth

to breake the kinges peace,

And ſeke his owne ſorowe

his fanſye to pleaſe.

Is lyke a curre Dogge

that ſetteth vponupon

Eche maſtyfe and hounde

that he maye light on.

He getteth hym hatered

of euerye manne

And meteth with his maiſter

euer nowe and than.

To hurte other menne

he taketh greate payne:

He turneth no manne

to profite or gayne.

Except it be the Surgian

or the Armorer

The Baylife, the conſtable

or the Iayler.

This is a worthye membre

in a commune wealthe,

That to worcke other wo

will loſe his owne health.

What other men will iudge

I can not tell

But if he ſcape Tiburne

I thinke he wyll hange in hell.

Of Blaſphemous ſwerers.

THe ſonne of Syrach

wryteth playnelye,Eccl. xxiiiSir 23

Of ſuche menne as do

ſweare blaſphemouſelye.

The manne that ſweareth muche

ſhall be fylled, ſayeth he,

Wyth all wicked maners

and iniquitie.

In the houſe of that manne

the plage ſhall not ceaſe,

He ſhall be ſtyll plaged

eyther more or leſſe.

Math. v.Matt 5Chriſte biddeth all hys,

affirme and denye,

Wyth yea yea, nay naye,

affirmynge no lye.

What ſo euer ye adde more

(ſayeth he) cometh of euyll.

And is of the wycked

ſuggeſtion of the deuill.

But we can not talke

wythouten othes plentye

Some ſweare by gods nayles

hys herte and hys bodye,

And ſome ſweare his fleſhe,

hys bloude and his fote.

And ſome by his guttes

hys lyfe and herte rote.

Some other woulde ſeme

all ſwearynge to refrayne,

And they inuente idle othes

ſuch is their idle brayne.

By cocke and by pye

and by the goſe wynge

By the croſſe of the mouſe fote

and by ſa…ncre chyckyn.

And ſome ſweare by the deuell

ſuche is their blindenes,

Not knowynge that they cal

theſe thynges to wytnes.

Of their Conſciences in that

they affirme or denye,

So boeth ſortes commit

moſte abhominable blaſphemie.

Of the colier of Croydon.

IT is ſayde that in Croydon

there dyd ſometyme dwell,

A Colier that did

all other Coliers excell.

For his riches thys Colier

myghte hauehave bene a knight

But in the order of knighthode

he hadde no delyght.

Woulde god all our knightes

did minde colinge no more,

Than this Colier did knyghtyng

as is ſayde before.

For whan none but pore coliars

dyd wyth coales mell,

At a reaſonable pryce

They dyd theyr coales ſell.

But ſence oure knighte Coliars

hauehave hadde the firſte ſale

We hauehave payde muche money

and had fewe ſackes to tale.

A lode that of late yeres

for a royall was ſolde,

Wyll coſte nowe .xvi.s.

of ſyluer or golde.

God graunte theſe men grace

their pollynge to refrayne.

Or els brynge them backe

to theyr olde ſtate agayne.

And eſpeciallye the Colier

that at Croydon doth ſell,

For men thynke he is coſen

to the Coliar of hel.

Of Commotioners.

WHen the bodye is vexed

through humors corrupted

To reſtore it to helth

thoſe humours muſte be purged

For if they remayne

they wyll ſtyl encreaſe:

Euerye daye more and more

and augment the diſeaſe.

So that in ſhorte tyme

the bodye muſte decaye,

Excepte God gyue health

by ſome other waye.

Euen ſo doeth it fare

by the weale publike

Whyche chaunceth to be often

diſeaſed and ſycke.

Throughe the miſcheuous malyce

of ſuche menne as be,

Deſierous to breake

the publyke vnitie.

Eche publike bodye

muſte be purged therfore

Of theſe rotten humours

as is ſayde before.

Elſe wyll it decaye,

as do the bodies naturall

When rotten humours

hauehave infected them ouer all

But if the publyke bodie,

can not be purged well

By force of purgacion

as phiciſins do tell

When bodies be weake,

and ſo lowe brought

That by purgacion,

no health can be wrought

Then muſt there be ſought

ſome eaſyer waye

To kil y^e ſtrength of thoſe humors

as phiaſians ſaye.

When the ſwerde wyll not helpe

in the commune wealth

To purge it of Commotioners

and brynge it to health.

Than muſte diſcrete counſel

fynde wayes to kyll,

The power of thoſe rebels

and lette them of their wyll.

And that muſte be by cheriſhynge

the humours naturall,

And by quyckenynge agayne

of the ſpirites vytall.

Whyche in the commune wealthe

are the ſubiectes true,

That do alwaye ſtudye

Sedition to eſchewe.

When theſe mē through cheriſhing

do growe and be ſtronge:

Than can not Commocioners

continue longe.

For as whan the ſtrength

of yll humours is kylled,

In a naturall bodye

they be ſone comſumed.

Or made of euill good

as it is playne to ſe:

So wyll it betyde

of ſuche menne as be.

In the commune wealth

geuen vntounto ſediſion,

When they ſe they cannot

finyſhe their intention.

And what is their power

but the people ignoraunte

Whom thei do abuſe

by their councelles malignaunt?

When the hertes of the people

be wonne to their prince,

Than can no commotioners

do hurte in hys prouince.

If thys will not helpe

than God wyll take cure,

And deſtroy theſe Commoſioners

we maye be right ſure.

Excepte the tyme be come

that the bodye muſte dye,

For than there canne be found

no maner remedy.

God graunte that oure ſynne

hauehave not broughte vsus ſo lowe,

That we be paſſe cure

god onelye doeth thys knowe.

And I truſte to ſe healthe agayne

if the finall ende,

Be not nowe nere at hande

whyche the Lorde ſhortelye ſende.

Of commen drunkardes.

ESaye lamenteth

and ſayeth oute alas

Muche wo ſhall betide you

that do youre tyme paſſe.Eſaye. v.

In eatinge and drinckynge

frome morninge to nighte,

Till none of your membres

canne do his office righte.

Woe be to you, ſayeth he,

that do ſo earlye riſe,

To fyll your ſelues with drincke

in ſuche beaſtelye wiſe

But if he were nowe liuynge

and ſawe this worldes ſtate,

He wold ſay this of our drunkards

that ſitte vp ſo late.

For fewe of oure drunckardes

do vſe to riſe earelye,

But muche of the nighte

they wyll drincke luſtelye.

Well,i. Cor. i.1 Cor 1 ſainte Paule doeth warne

all that be of pure mynde

To auoide drunckardes companye

where ſo euer they do them finde.

Se ye neyther eate nor drincke

wyth ſuche menne, ſayeth he,

That be geuen to drinkinge

what ſo euer they be,

But alas manye curates

that ſhoulde vsus thys tell

Do all their pariſhioners

in drynckynge excell.

Of commune Liars.

Sapi. i.SOlomon the ſage

in Sapience doeth ſaye

That the mouthe that lyeth

doeth the verye ſoule ſleye.

If the murderer of bodies

be worthye to dye,

The murderer of ſoules

ſhoulde not eſcape, trowe I.

For as the Soule doeth

the bodye excell

So is his treaſpace greater

that doeth the ſoule quell.

But Lyars (alas)

are nowe muche ſet by,

And thought to be menne

in a maner neceſſarie.

To be entertayned

of eche noble manne,

Who are muche delighted

wyth lyes nowe and than.

But thys delite will be ſorowe

I feare me at the laſte,

Whan the liar for hys liynge

into paines ſhall be caſte.

Of Dicears.

EMonge wyttye ſaiynges

this precept I finde,Cato.

To auoid and fle dice (my ſon)

hauehave euer in mynde.

For diceynge hath brought many

wealthye menne to care,

And manye ryche heyre

it hath made full bare.

Some menne it hath ſette vp

I will not denye,

And brought to more worſhip

than they be worthye.

God knoweth to what ende

he ſuffereth this thyng

Perchaunce to rewarde them

wyth hel at their endynge.

For doubtleſſe thoſe goodes

are gotten amiſſe

That are goten from him

that prodigall is.

And eſpecially at the dyce,

where boeth do intende

To get the others goodis,

or elſe his owne to ſpende.

Nowe if prodigalitye

or couetiſe be vyce

He can not but offend,

that playeth at the dyce

For be they two or mo,

thys thyng is certayne

Prodigalytie and couetiſe

do in them all raygne

Beſyde the wycked othes,

and the tyme myſpent

Wherof they thyncke they nede not

them ſelues to repent.

But thys I dare ſaye,

that though dyrynge were no ſin,

Nor the goodis myſgoten,

that men do therat wynne

Yet the othes that they ſwere

and the tyme myſpent

Shall be theyr damnacion

vnleſſe they repent.

Leaue of your vayne dyceyng

ye dycers therefore

For vnleſſe ye repent,

god hath vengeaunce in ſtore

And when ye thynke leaſt,

then wyl he pour it oute

And make you to ſtoupe,

be ye neuer ſo ſtoute.

Of double benificed men.

THe kynge of that realme,

where iuſtice doeth reygne

Peruſed olde ſtatutis,

that in bokis remayne.

And as he turned the boke,

him chaunced to ſe

That ſuche as hauehave benifices

ſhoulde reſidente be.

And hauehave their abidynge

whiles their lyfe ſhold endure

Emonge them ouer whom

god hath geuen them cure.

Than ſayde he to him ſelfe

I thynke well there is,

No lawe in thys realme

worſe obſerued than this.

Yet canne there nothynge

my flocke more decaye,

Than whan hirelynges ſuffer

my ſhepe to go aſtraye.

Then called he hys counſell

and tolde them his minde,

And willed that they ſhoulde

ſome remedye finde.

Who with good aduice

agreed on thys thinge,

That viſitours ſhoulde be ſent

with the power of the kynge

To punyſhe all ſuche

as herein dyd offende

Vnleſſe they were founde

thorowe wyllynge to amende.

Theſe viſitours found many ſtout

prieſtes, but chieflye one,Oſee. iiiiHos 4

That hadde ſondrye benifices

but woulde ſurrender none.

Than was this ſtoute felowe

brought to the kynge,

Who ſaide vntounto hym,

ſyr howe chaunceth this thing?

Wil ye tranſegreſſe my lawes

and than diſobeye:

Menne hauing my power?

ſyr what canne you ſaye?

If it may like your grace (quod he)

loe here is to ſe,

Your ſeale at a graunte

of a pluralitie.

Wel, ſaide the kinge than,

I repente me of all yll:

But tell me maiſter doctoure

wil you hauehave your benifices ſtyl?

If your grace do me righte (ꝙ he)

I muſt hauehave them my life tyme,

So ſhalt thou (quod the kynge)

for to morow by pryme

God wyllynge, thy body,

ſhalbe diuided and ſent

To ech benifice a piece,

to make the reſident.

Away wyth him (quod the kyng)

and let al thyngis be done

As I hauehave geuen ſentence,

to morower none

For ſyth thou arte a ſtoute prieſt

an example thou ſhalt be

That all ſtouburne prieſtes,

may take warnyng by the.

Of the Exchecker

IN the weſte parte of Europe

there was ſometyme a kynge

That had a courte for receyte,

of money to him belonging.

But the miniſters for that Court,

dyd longe & many a daye

Take brybes to beare w^t ſuche mē

as ſhould forfaytis pay.

At the laſte to the kynge,

this theyr falſhode was tolde

By ſuch as about him,

were faythful and bolde.

Then dyd the kynge ſend,

for theſe miniſters yll

And layed all theyr treaſpaſes,

before them in a byl.

Then were they abaſhed,

and had nought to ſay

But cried for his pardon,

but he bade awaye.

Ye hauehave borne w^t theues,

and hauehave robbed me

And ſuffered my commons,

impoueryſhed to be.

No ſtatute could cauſe,

offendars to emende

Becauſe you dyd beare wyth them

when they dyd offende.

Awaye wyth them all,

laye them faſt in priſone

Tyll we hauehave determined,

what ſhall wyth them be done.

What iudgment they had,

I hauehave not hearde yet.

But well I wot they deſerued,

a tiburne typpet.

Of Fatterars.

A Flatterynge frende,

is worſe then a foe.

For a frende is betruſted,

when the other is not ſo.

Of an open enimie,

a man may be ware,

ii. Re. iii.when the flatteryng frend,

wyl worcke men much care.

For if Abner had knowne,

what was in Ioabs herte.

I do not doubt but he would,

hauehave out of his waye ſterte.

Or at the leaſte he would not,

hauehave admitted him ſo ny:

As to be embraced of him,

and on his dagger to dye.

Wherefore I aduertiſe

al men to be ware

Of all flatterynge frendis,

that bryng men to care.

As for open ennimies,

truſt them if ye wyll,

I can not forbyd you,

to admyt your owne yll.

Woulde god all men woulde,

ſuch flatterars trye:

As hange at theyr elbowes

to get ſome what therby.

But (alas) nowe adayes,

men of honour do promote:

Many a falſe flatterynge,

and lewde harlot.

Whych thynge may at the lengthe

be theyr owne decay.

For if the wynde turne,

the flatterars wyll awaye.

The ſwallowe in ſommer

wyll in your houſe dwell,

But when wynter is commynge

ſhe wyll ſaye farewell.

And when the ſhort dayes,

begyn to be colde

Robyn red breaſt wyll come hom…

to you and be verye bolde.

But whan ſomer returneth

and buſhes waxe grene,

Then Robyn your manne

will no more be ſene.

So ſome of your flatterers

will in proſperitie,

Be of your houſholde

and of your familie.

And ſome other wyll

whan nede doeth them payne

Sue to do you ſeruice

till they be wealthy againe.

Of Foles.

THe preacher ſayth thus

Eccle. iiiiEccl 4a pore wittye ladde,

Is better than an olde kyng

whoſe wytte is but badde.

The wiſe manne in pouertie

is righte honorable,

Whan the fole in his riches

is worthie a bable.

Some foles there be of nature

that vnderſtande noughte,

And ſome vnderſtande thinges

But do conceiue in their thought

That they them ſelues be wiſeſt

whiche follye paſſeth all,

And doeth ſone appeare

boeth in greate and ſmale.

Theſe foles wyll heare no mans

reade or counſell,

And whatſoeuer they thē ſelues do

is exceadynge-well.

But other mens doinges

they wyll euer diſpraiſe

None other can do oughte

that maye their myndes pleaſe.

And further they thinke

it becommeth them well

In euerye mannes matter

them ſelues to entermell.

And whan they come in place

where is anye talke,

No man ſhall hauehave time to ſpeake,

their tonges ſhall ſo walke.

Of theyr owne dedis and goodis,

they wyll brage and boſte

And declare all theyr myſhaps,

and what they hauehave loſte.

If ye tell them of theyr fautes,

then wyl they nedis fyght

Ye muſte ſaye as they ſaye,

be it wronge or ryght

In fyne ye muſt prayſe them

and ſet forth theyr fame

And how ſo euer they do,

Ye may them not blame.

If ye tell them of knowledg,

they ſaye they lacke none

And wyſhe they had leſſe,

and then they make mone

For the loſſe of vayne toyes,

where in they delyte

And then if ye reaſone farre,

beware, they wyll fyght

All wiſe men take hede,

and ſhunne theyr companye

For of all other men,

they are moſte vngodly

Of Foreſtallers.

THe fryſes of Walis

to Bryſtow are brought

But before they are wouen

in walis they are boughte

So that now we do paye,

four grotis or elſe more

For the fryſe we hauehave bought,

for eight pens heretofore

And ſome ſaye the woule,

is bought ere it do growe

And the corne long before,

it come in the mowe.

But one thyng there is,

that hurteth moſt of all.

Many offices are bought,

longe ere they fall.

And ryght ſo are benefices,

in eueryevery coaſte.

So that perſons and vicars,

kepe neyther ſod nor roaſte.

The pore of the pariſh,

whom the perſon ſhould fede.

Can hauehave nought of our tythis,

to ſuccoure their nede.

Reuertions of farmes

are bought on eche ſyde,

And the old tenaunt muſt pay well

if he wil abide.

And where the father payd a penye

and a Capon or twayne,

The ſonne muſt paye ten pounde

thys paſſeth my brayne

Well, let theſe foreſtallers

repente them betime,

Leaſte the clarke of the market

be with them ere prime.

For he when he commeth

will puniſhe them all,

That do anie neadefull thinge

ingroſſe or foreſtall.

For well I wotte this

when he wente laſte away

He ſente vsus his ſeruaunte

and thus did he ſaye.

i. Cor. x.1 Cor 10Se that amonge you

none ſeke his owne gayne,

But profite eche other

wyth trauayle and payne.

Of Godleſſe men.

HOlye Dauid that was

boeth prophete and kinge

Sawe in hys tyme

(as appeareth by hys writinge)

That in thoſe daies

there were men of wicked hert,Pſal. viiiPs 8

That did all godlye wayes

vtterlye peruerte.

And ſo there are nowe

the pitye is the more,

That lyue more carnallye

than euer men did before.

Theſe men (ſayeth kinge Dauid)

in their hertes do ſaye,

Surelye there is no God

let vsus take our owne waye.

Thus iudged kynge Dauid

and that for good ſkyll

Bicauſe he ſawe their worckes

were wycked and euyll.

They are (ſayeth he) corrupt

and nought in all theyr wayes

Not one that doeth good.

and therfore he ſayes

That they thyncke there is no god

theyr worckis do declare

For to do the thynge that good is

they hauehave no maner care.

But what would Dauid ſaye,

if he were in theſe dayes,

when men wyll do Ill,

and iuſtifie theyr yll weyes?

They leaue the good vndone,

and do that yll is.

And then they call that yll good,

what woulde Dauid ſaye to this?

I know not what Dauid

would ſaye in this caſe.

But I knowe that good Eſay,

doeth curſſe them apaſe.

Eſai. v.Isa 5Woe, ſayth this prophete,

to them that in do call.

That thyng good that euell is

but this is not all.

He ſayeth woe to them,

that call dearckenes lyghte.

Preferryng theyr fanſey,

before the worde of myght

If they fynde a thynge wrytten

in Paul, Luke or Iohn

Or any other ſcripture,

they wyll ther of none:

Except they may eaſily,

perceyue and ſe.

That wyth theyr fleſhly fanſey,

they may make it agre.

All other textis of ſcripture,

they wyll not ſtycke to deny.

Yea ſome of them wyll,

god and his ſcripture defie.

And ſay they wyll make merie here

for when they be gone,

They can hauehave no ioye,

for ſoule they hauehave none.

If theſe menne be not godles

muche maruell hauehave I,

Well, the cauſe is the Lordes

lette hym and them trye.

I knowe at the laſte

they ſhall fynde him to ſtrong.

The daye of his vengeaunce,

wyll not tarye longe.

Of Idle perſons

IDlenes hath ben cauſe

Eccle 33Sir 33of much wyckednes.

As Eccleſiaſticus,

doeth playnely wytnes.

Idle perſons therfore,

can not be all cleare.

As by the ſtorie of Sodome,

it doeth well appeare

But that we may come nere,

to our owne age

The Idlenes of Abbays,

made them outrage.

Yet let vsus come nere,

euen to the tyme preſent.

And ſe what myſchyfe,

Idle perſons do inuent.

What cōſpiracies hauehave bē wroght

wythin this lyttle whyle.

By Idle men that dyd,

the commons begyle.

And what hauehave Idle men,

alwaye practiſed.

To breake the peace of prynces,

that they myght be hyered.

I wyll not ſaye what,

the Idlenes of prieſtis hath done

Nor yet the Idlenes,

of ſeruantis in London

Let euerie man ſearch,

his owne houſhold well,

And whether the thynge,

be true that I tell.

Yea what abuſe dyde euer,

emonge the people rayne.

But the ſame dyd fyrſt ſprynge.

out of an Idle brayn.

Idlenes therfore,

maye ryghte well be named

The gate of all miſchiefe

that euer was framed.

Ye maiſters and fathers therfore

that feare God omnipotente,

Kepe youre families occupied

leaſte ye be ſhente.

For if thorowe their idlenes

they fall into outrage,

Your iudgemente ſhall be ſtrayght,

for they ar cōmitted to your charge

Kepe them therfore ſtyll occupied,

in doynge youre buſines.

Or els in readynge or hearyng

ſome bokes of Godlines.

And woulde god the maieſtrates

woulde ſe men ſet a worke,

And that within thys realme

none were ſuffered to lurke.

This realme hath thre cōmodities

woule, tynne, and leade,

Which beīg wrought w^t in y^e realme

eche man might get his bread.

¶ Of inuenters of ſtraūge newes.

SOme men do delite

ſtraunge newes to inuente,

Of this mannes doynge

and that mannes intente.

What is done in Fraunce

and in the Emperours lande,

And what thinges the Scotes

are nowe takynge in hand.

What the kynge and hys counſell,

do intende to do,

Thoughe for the moſte parte

it be nothynge ſo.

Suche men cauſe the people

that els woulde be ſtyll,

To murmure and grudge

whiche thinge is verye yll.

Yea,We ſawe the experience of thys of late. ſometyme they cauſe

the people to ryſe,

And aſſemble them ſelues

in moſte wicked wyſe.

In Plato hys commune wealth

ſuche men ſhoulde not dwell,

For Poets and Oratours

he dyd expel.

Oh that theſe newes bryngers

hadde for their rewarde,

Newe halters of hempe

to ſette them forwarde.

¶ Of Lay mē that take tithes, and prieſtes that vſe their tythes priuatelye.

VVhan Iuſtice beganne

in iudgemente to ſitte,

To puniſhe all ſuche menne

as faultes did committe.

Than was there a manne

before hyr accuſed,

For tithes that he toke,

and priuatelye vſed.

Whan due profe was hadde

and the thynge manifeſte,

The witneſſes ſworne,

and the treſpace confeſte.

Then gaue the Iudge iudgment

and theſe wordes he ſpake

Se that from this Caytife

all his goodes ye take.

For ſeing he made that priuate

that commune ſhoulde be,

He ſhall hauehave this iuſtice

by the iudgemente of me.

Thoſe pore men that by the tythes

ſhoulde be releeued

Shal hauehave al hys goods

emonge them deuided.

And bicauſe he ſhewed no mercye,

no mercye ſhall he hauehave,Iacob. ii.

The ſentence is geuen,

go hange vp the ſlaue.

Of Leaſemongers.

OF late a Leaſemonger

of London lay ſicke,

And thinckinge to dye

his conſcience did hym pricke.

Wherefore he ſayde thus

wyth hym ſelfe ſecretely,

I will ſ…nd for a preacher

to knowe what remedye.

But whiles he thus laye

he fell in a ſlumbre,

And ſawe in his dreame

pore folke a great numbre.

Whoe ſayde they had learned thys,

at the preachers hande,

To paye all with patience

that their Landelordes demaunde.

For they for their ſufferaunce

in ſuche oppreſſion,

Are promiſed rewarde

in the reſurrection.

Where ſuche as take leaſes

them ſelues to aduaunce,

Are certayne to hauehave hell,

by ryghte inheritaunce.

Of Marchauntes.

IF Marchauntes wold medle,

wyth Marchaundice onelye,

And leaue farmes to ſuch men

as muſte lyue therebye.

Then were they moſte worthye

to be hadde in pryce,

As menne that prouide vsus,

of all kyndes Marchaundice.

But ſythe they take farmes

to lette them out agayne,

To ſuche men as muſte hauehave them

thoughe it be to their payne.

And to leauye greate fines

or to ouer the rente,

And purchaſe greate landes

for the ſame intente:

We muſte neades call them

membres vnprofitable,

As menne that woulde make

all the realme miſerable.

Howe they leaue of their trade

and lende oute their money

To yonge Marchaunte menne

for greate vſurye,

Whereby ſome yong men

are dryuen to leaue all,

And do into moſte extreme

pouertye fall:

It greueth me to wryte,

but what remedie?

They muſte heare their faulte

ſythe they be ſo greadye.

And thus I ſaye to them

and true they ſhall it fynde,

The Lorde wyll hauehave all

their yll doynges in mynd.

And at the laſte daye

whan they ſhall ariſe.

All ſhall be layde playne

before theyr owne eyes.

Where iudgemente ſhall be geuen

Iacob. ii.as ſaynte Iames doeth wytnes.

Wythoute all mercye,

to ſuche as be merciles.

¶ Of men that hauehave diuers offices

WHan the Citye of Rome

was ruled aryght,

As aunciente Autours

do recorde and wryte

Ambition was puniſhed

wyth vtter exile

Yet were there ſome that did

venter ſome whyle.

But we reade not of anye

that euer wente aboute,

To hauehave two offices at once

were they neuer ſo ſtout.

But alas in this Realme

we counte hym not wyſe,

That ſeketh not by all meanes

that he canne deuiſe.

To racke offices togither

wythoute anye ſtaye,

But Chriſte ſhal ſay to theſe menne

at the laſte daye.

Geue accoūts of your Baliwickes

ye menne wythoute grace,Luke. xviLuke 16

Ye that ſought to be rulers

in euerye place.

Geue accountes of your Baliwike

for come is the daye,

That ye muſte leaue youre offices

and walke your fathers waye.

Of Nice wyues.

THe ſonne of Sirache

of women doeth ſaye,Eccl. xxviSir 26

That their nicenes & hordom

is perceiued alwaye.

By their wanton lokes

and liftynge vp of eyes,

And their lokinge aſcoye

in moſte wanton wiſe.

And in the ſame

Ieſus Syrach I fynde

That the gate and the garmentEccle. xiEccl 11

do declare the mynd.

If theſe thyngis be true,

as no doubt they be.

What ſhold we thynk of the womē

that in London we ſe?

For more wanton lokis,

I dare boldly ſaye.

Were neuer in Iewiſh whores,

then in London wines this day

and if the gate and the garmentis,

do ſhew any thynge.

Our wyues do paſſe theyr whoris,

in whorlyke deckyng.

I thyncke the abhominable,

whores of the ſtewes

Dyd neuer more whorelyke,

attyerments vſe.

A cappe on hir head,

lyke a ſowes mawe.

Such an other facion,

I thyncke the Iewe, neuer ſaw.

Then fyne geare on the forehead,

ſet after the new tryk.

Though it coſt a crown or two.

what then? they maye not ſtycke.

If theyr heyre wyl not take colour

then muſt thei by newe.

And laye it oute in tuſſockis,

this thynge is to true.

At ech ſyde a tuſſocke,

as bygge as a ball.

A very fayre ſyght

for a fornicator beſtiall,

Hyr face faire paynted,

to make it ſhyne bryght.

And hyr boſome all bare,

and moſte whorelyke dight.

Hyr mydle braced in,

as ſmale as a wande:

And ſome bye waſtes of wyre

at the paſte wyues hande.

A bumbe lyke a barrell

wyth whoopes at the ſkyrte,

Hyr ſhoes of ſuch ſtuffe

that maye touche no dyrte.

VponUpon hyr whyte fyngers

manye rynges of golde,

Wyth ſuche maner ſtones

as are moſt dearlye ſolde.

Of all their other trifles

I wyll ſaye nothynge,

Leaſte I hauehave but ſmall thanckes

for thys my writynge.

All modeſte Matrons

I truſte wyll take my parte,

As for nice whippers wordes

ſhall not come nye my hert.

I hauehave tolde them but trueth

let them ſaye what they wyll,

I hauehave ſayde they be whore like

and ſo I ſaye ſtill.

Of Obſtinate Papiſtes

AN obſtinate Papiſte

that was ſometyme a Frier

Hadde of his Friers cote

ſo greate a deſire.

That he ſtale out of England

and wente to Louayne.

And gate his Fryers cote

on his foles backe agayne.

A wilfull Begger

this papiſt wyll be.

A fole and a fryer,

and thus is one man three.

Would god all the papiſtis,

that he lefte behynd.

Where wyth him in fryes cotis,

accordyng to theyr kynde.

Or els I would they were,

wyth theyr father the pope.

For whylſe they be in England,

they do but lyue in hope.

And except they myght get,

the Bible boke burned.

Into diſpeyre theyr hope,

wyll ſhortly be turned.

God graunte them the grace

this hope to forſake,

And their naturall prynce

for their heade to take.

Forſakinge the Pope,

wyth all hys peltrye:

Whiche of longe tyme

they hauehave ſette ſo much by.

Of rente rayſers.

A Manne that had landes

of tenne pounde by yere

Surueyed the ſame

and lette it out deare.

So that often pounde

he made well a ſcore,

Moe poundes by the yere

than other did before.

But whan he was tolde

what daunger it was

To oppreſſe hys tenauntes

he ſayde he did not paſſe.

For thys thynge he ſayde

full certaynelye he wyſte,

That wyth hys owne he myghte,

alwayes do as he liſte.

But immediatlye I trowe

thys oppreſſoure fyl ſicke:

Luke. xviLuke 16Of a voyce that he hearde

geue accountes of your Baliwicke.

Of Vayne wryters, vaine talkers and vaine hearers.

OF late as I laye

and lacked my reſte,

At ſuche time as Titan

drewe faſte to the Eaſte.

Thys ſayinge of Chriſte

came into my minde,

Whyche certayne and true

all maner menne ſhall fynde.

Of euerye idle worde

ye ſhall geue a rekeninge.Mat. xii.Matt 12

Be it ſpoken by mouthe,

or put in wrytynge.

O Lorde (thought I then)

what caſe be they in,

That talke and write vaynely

and thinke it no ſinne?

Than ſlombred I a little

and thoughte that I ſawe,

Thre ſortes of vayne menne

condempned by gods lawe.

The one was a writer

of thynges nought and vayne.

And an other a talker

and thys was theyr paine.

The wryter hadde the crowne

of hys heade opened,

Whoſe braynes wyth a ſtycke

the talker ſtyrred.

And he wyth boeth handes

drewe the talkers tonge,

ſo that without hys mouthe

it was an handefull longe.

The thirde was an herkener

of fables and lyes,

Whoſe eares were almoſt

drawen vp to hys eyes.

Of vnſaciable purchaſers.

AN vnreaſonable ryche manne

dyd ryde by the way,

Who for lacke of menne

hadde wyth hym a boye.

And as he paſte by a paſture

moſt pleaſaunte to ſe,

Of late I hauehave purchaſed

thys grounde Iacke, quod he,

Marye maiſter (quod the boye)

men ſaye ouer all,

That your purchaſe is greate

but your houſholde is ſmal.

Why Iacke (quod this riche man)

what hauehave they to do?

Woulde they hauehave me to purchaſe

and kepe greate houſe to?Luk. xiiiiLuke 14

I can not tell (quod the boye)

what maketh them to brawle.

But they ſaye that ye purchaſe

the Deuill, his dame and all.

Of Vſurers.

A Certaine man hadde landes

little thoughe it were,

And yet wold faine hauehave liued

lyke a gentlemans peare.

Of thys lande he made ſale

and toke readye golde,

And let that for double the rente

of the lande that was ſolde.

Than came there a broker,

and ſaide if he woulde do:

As he woulde aduiſe hym,

he ſhoulde make of one penye two.

Marye that woulde I fayne do

(quod this vſurer than)

I praye the teache me

the feate if thou can.

You ſhall (ſayde thys broker)

lende but for a monethes day:

And be ſure of

a ſuffitiente gage alwaye.

Wyth a plaine bill of ſale

if the day be not kept,

And ſe that ye do

no cauſes accepte.

Than muſte you be ſure

that your intereſte be

One penye for a ſhyllynge

and thre pence for three.

So by the yeres ende

twelue moneths geue twelue pens

For the vſe of a ſhyllinge

lo I hauehave tolde you al ſens.

Than ſaide this vſurer

this matter goeth well,

For my twentye pounde lande

that I chaunced to ſell.

I ſhall hauehave foure hundred

pounde rente by the yere,

To lyue lyke a Lorde

and make iolye chere.

Than came there a Prophete

and tolde thys manne plaine

That heauen is no place,Pſal. xv.Ps 15

for ſuche vnlawefull gayne.

Why ſir (quod this Vſurer)

it is my liuynge,

Yea ſyr (quod this Prophet)

but it is not youre calling.

You are called to liue

after twentye pounde by yere,

And after that rate

ye ſhoulde meaſure your chere.

Tyll god did encreaſe you

by his mercifull wayes,

By encreaſynge youre corne

and youre cattell in the leyes.

Whych encreaſe wyth your landes

you are bounde to employe,

To the profite of all them

that do dwell you bye.

Ye are not borne to your ſelfe

neither maye you take

That thinge for youre owne

where of God did you make.

But Stuarde and Baylife

that ſhall yelde a rekeninge,

At the daye of Iudgemente,

Luke. xviLuke 16for euerye thynge.

And do ye not doubte

but then ye ſhall knowe,

Whether ye maye your goodes

at youre pleaſure beſtowe.

And whether ye maye vſe

wayes wicked and yll,

To encreaſe your riches

at youre owne will.

But chieflye to lende

youre goodes to vſurie,

Is a thinge that you ſhall

moſte dearelye abye.

For Chriſte ſaieth in Luke

that the Heathen do ſo,

Luke. vi.Luke 6Take hede leſt ye flytte

frome pleaſure to woe.

Finis.

End of the text · Robert Crowley, Thirty-One Epigrams (1550)