The Mother and the Child, Psalm 32
Beati quorum. Pſalme 32.
O My God;Bleſſed is he whoſe vnrighteouſnes is forgiuen, and whoſe ſinne is couered. how happie are they whoſe offences thou haſt pardoned; and whoſe ſins thou haſt buried in obliuion. For alas; what can befal vntounto him, vponupon whom thou ſhalt lay the iuſt puniſhment of his iniquitie? Whole legions of euil beſiege him, pouertie aſſaults him, maladies afflict him, famine preſſeth him, and death it ſelfe (which hee wiſheth for, as the hauen of reſt after all theſe tempeſtuous nauigations) proues but a gulfe to ſwallow him downe, vntounto eternall torments.
2 Bleſſed is the man vntounto whom the Lord imputeth no ſin, and in whoſe heart there is no guile.O then thrice happy and bleſſed are thoſe, of whoſe actions God doth not take account, but is content that they humble themſelues before him, acknowledging their infirmitie, and laying open before him the very ſecrets of their hearts. For by true and vnfained confeſsion, and in ſincerity of conſcience, muſt we call vponupon his mercy; and before him muſt wee humble our ſelues, if wee will hauehave him to heare vsus. [And] as hee that goeth for water of the fountaine, doth put downe the mouth of his veſſell to take in the water: ſo muſt he humble himſelfe before his creator, that meanes to drawe and taſte of the water of this ſacred ſource, from whence diſtill thoſe ſtreames which (and they onelyonly) can purifie our ſtained conſciences.
I hauehave thought ſometime O my GOD,3 For while I held my tongue, my bones conſumed away through my dayly cōplaining. to hide my faults from thee; and hauehave ſaid within my ſelfe, and how knoweth he, whether I hauehave done it or no? and ſo my ſin tooke root within my bones. And as the vlcers of a ſhamefaſt Patient, which dareth not ſhew his maladie to the Chirurgion, doe feſter and rankle and encreaſe euen to the deſtruction of the vvhole bodie: ſo theſe very vices which I hidde from thee, wholly infected me.
4 For thy hād is heauy vponupon me, day and night: and my moiſture is as the drought in ſummer.But when thy hand had beene heauy vponupon mee day and night, and when thou hadſt laid ſuch ſore trouble vponupon my loynes, and ſo many misfortunes vppon my ſoule, that my ſpirite could take no reſt, and that I was broken with the ſtinging of my conſcience, which did pierce my verie heart; then did I acknowledge my faultes, and that thy hand had done: this. Looke vponupon mee, O Lord, but not in thine anger: and let thoſe teares, whoſe guſhing ſtreames hauehave dimd my ſight, quench the heate of thy iuſt indignation, ſince I am not onelyonly the worke of thy hands; but which is more, the liuing image of thy Diuinitie. Who will be ſo farre ledde with anger, as to bruiſe and breake in peeces, that worke which hee hath had ſo great delight to poliſh, and bring to perfection, becauſe hee ſeeth it filthy and polluted? I confeſſe (O Lord) this image of thine is full of pollution and vncleannes: yet better wil it be to cleanſe & ſcoure it, then to break it & treade it vnderunder foote.
5 I will acknowledge my ſin vntounto thee: and mine vnrighteouſnes hauehave I not hid.O teach mee, then my God, what thou wilt require for my ſatisfaction: for loe, now hauehave I diſcloſed and acknowledged all my faults, which before I concealed. The feare which had ſeiſed on mee, when I hid my ſelfe from thee, is now ſince I humbled my ſelfe before thee, turned into hope of grace & pardon. And now do I caſt my ſelfe into thine armes, as my moſt aſſured ſuccour, with the humble demeanour of a poore patient, who preſenting his wounds vntounto the ſurgeon, lookes on him attentiuely, and ſuffers courageouſly, both the ſearcher and the knife, for the deſire and hope that hee hath to bee cured of them. But that which putteth me in greateſt hope of health, is, that thoſe vices, wherein heretofore I tooke greateſt pleaſure, are now no leſſe odious in my ſight, then are thoſe meates whereof a man did eat to the full, being in health, whē he is ſick of their ſurfeit: that which had made me haughty and inſolent, doth now breede in me ſhame and remorſe, when I conſider the hazard of death, wherevnto my pride hath expoſed my poore wretched ſoule. Bleſſed bee the day, wherein I acknowledged my faulte: now hauehave I receiued a ſingular teſtimonie of thy bounty towards me, O my God. Grant therefore that this pleaſure which I hauehave taken by beeing diſpleaſed with my ſelfe, may bee as durable, as that vvhichwhich before I tooke, to continue in my ſinnes. For if I may hauehave as much contentment in my repentance, as I hauehave taken in my ſinne; my happineſſe ſhall be euen equall to that of the Angels; and I ſhall finde, that through my humiliation, before thee, I hauehave mounted to the height of thy grace.
Who can doubt O Lord,6 I ſaid I will confeſſe my ſins vntounto the Lord: and ſo thou forgaueſt the wickednes of my ſinne. but that thou haſt receiued me vntounto mercy? thou whoſe clemencie and mercy is not onelyonly vnſpeakeable, but alſo incomprehenſible. No ſooner had I thought to returne vntounto thee, but thou preuentedſt me: no ſooner had I ſaid, I wil confeſſe my miſdeedes, but thy grace was granted me: no ſooner had I knowne the puniſhment due to my ſinne, but thou didſt pardon mee: no ſooner had I taken the rods in mine hands to chaſtiſe my fleſh, but thou didſt take them from mee: in a word, I looked when thou wouldſt denounce warre againſt mee, and loe thou offeredſt a louing reconciliation. O how much more willing art thou O Lord, to pardon then to puniſh! Can a louing father more tenderly receiue his childe, when hee cryeth him merciemercy, then thou receiuedſt me, when I caſt my ſelfe downe at thy feet? Therefore my heart danceth for ioy, and boileth with a feruent deſire to praiſe thy Name: it reioiceth in thy grace, and accuſeth none for what is done amiſſe, but it ſelfe; crying, it is I that willed and conſented to do it: it is I that did it: it is I that pleaſed my ſelfe with it: but my God hath been mercifull vntounto mee. And how could he withhold his mercy from me, when his holy one made interceſsion for mee?
And needfull it was, alas, that hee ſhould intercede for mee,7 For this ſhal eueryevery one that is godly make his prayer vntounto thee in a time when thou maiſt bee found; but in the great water flouds they ſhall not come nigh him. when the impietie of my heart had ſo blinded my vnderſtanding by my vvicked thoughts, that my ſoule was not able any longer to lift her hands vntounto heauen. What then remained for me, but that he whom thou denyeſt nothing, ſhould mediate for mee? euen for mee, who beeing become my owne enemy, had now no knowledge nor will to pray for my ſelfe. But now am I comforted, ſince it hath pleaſed thee to open mine eyes, that I might ſee the deformitie of mine owne conſcience, and that thou haſt mollified my ſtonie heart, that I might entertaine contrition in my ſoule. Which though I hauehave not perform'd ſo ſoon as I ought to hauehave done: yet not ſo late, but thou haſt vouchſafed to receiue mee, as thy cuſtome is, to them that doe not let paſſe all time and occaſion of repentance. For thoſe that runne vntounto ſinne, and doe voluntarily neglect to repent, when they know their fault, and hauehave time to repent, deferring to cry for mercy (or to make a deluge flow from their eyes) vntil the end of their liues; it is greatly to bee feared, that they deceiue themſelues; and that true repentance will hardly after ſo long time, enter into their hardened hearts: that their teares and weeping, will be but the wayling of men in deſperation, and that thy merciemercy will lend but a deaf eare to their too late repentance.
8 Thou art a place to hide me in, thou ſhalt preſerue me from trouble: thou ſhalt compaſſe me about with ſongs of deliuerance.But as for mee, I come vntounto thee, in an acceptable time as to my refuge, and the marke whereat my hope aimed, and my onelyonly comfort in my tribulation which had enuironed me, euen as the feare ſeiſeth vponupon him, who is condemned to a ſhameful end. O then let mee taſte of that ioy, which hee hath in his heart, who is freed from his chaines, enlarged out of priſon, and healed of his paine, wherein his enemy had long time held him captiue. And on the contrarie, let the enemie of my ſoule bee confounded with ſhame, when hee ſhall ſee me ſo deuoutly calling vponupon my God for aide: who in the very turning of his eye, can free me from that voluntarie ſeruitude, which I had vowed vntounto wicked pleaſure. When I was on me. He hath not onelyonly exalted mee aboue other creatures, giuing me the vſe of diuine reaſon, but alſo amongſt men hath hee exalted me, into the throne of honour and magnificence; ſo that nothing was remaining, for the accompliſhing of my felicitie, but onelyonly to know my owne felicitie: and after I had forgotten mine owne eſtate, hee did enlighten mee by his holy light, and gaue mee both time and will to lament my life paſſed, and to amend it for the time to come.
Be warned then by mee, O my friends, and whilſt it is time runne vntounto him for grace;Be not like Horſe and Mule, which hauehave no vnderſtanding: whoſe mouthes muſt be holden with bit & bridle leaſt they fall vponupon thee. for hee himſelfe doth call you, into the way of ſaluation: and bee not like the ſelfe-wilde Mule, which hath no vnderſtanding or iudgement, but kicketh againſt him that pricketh her, to make her go right: whoſe mouth muſt bee held with bit, and bridle, & whoſe ſides muſt feele the ſharpe remembrance of the ſpurre. And ſo if at the firſt ſummons, which the Lord ſhall ſend to cauſe you returne into his wayes, you will not be obedient to his will, hee ſhall raine vponupon you ſuch a haile of miſeries, as ſhall make you more miſerable then miſerie it ſelfe.
2 Great plagues remaine for the vngodly but who ſo putteth his truſt in the Lord, mercy embraceth him on eueryevery ſide.You ſee the ſtarres that glitter in the heauens, and the ſand ſtretched vponupon the ſhoare: but neither hath the heauens ſo many ſtarres, nor the ſea ſo much ſand, as are the plagues and puniſhments, which remaine for the obſtinate ſinners. Their owne wickednes hangeth ouer their heads, miſchiefe attends at their heeles, vntill they fall headlong into that gulf, the very remembrance whereof is full of horrour; the ſweeteſt retraites whereof, are but plaints, cries, ſhreekes, and ſorrowfull ſobbes: where is paine without end, griefe without remedie, repentāce without mercy: where they are alwaies dying, and neuer dead; where the bodie liueth onelyonly to die, and the ſoule only to ſuffer torments: where the ſoule feeleth nothing but ſinne, and the bodie nothing but paine. On the contrarie, they who flye vntounto the Lord, and the couert of his grace, who ſhielde themſelues vnderunder his mercy, and put their truſt in his bountie, who follow his cōmandement, and are zealous to doe his will; vntounto what height of happineſſe doe they aſpire? What thing is there ſo precious in heauen that ſhal be hid from them? they ſhall ſit by their God, and all enuironed with glorie, ſhall bee inueſted with greater happineſſe, then the ſpirit of man is able to conceiue the leaſt part therof, much leſſe my faultring tongue able to expreſſe.
12 Be glad O ye righteous, and reioyce in the Lord: and be ioifull all ye that are true of heart.I will bee glad therefore and reioice, O my God, to think how great good thou haſt laide vp in the heauens, wherewith to crown the iuſt. And I inuite you all to reioice with me, who hauehave ſworn vntounto the words of our Sauiour, and louelove the ſtraight path of his iuſtice. Here muſt you attend the recompence of your trauell: here ſhall you bee placed in honour and glory: here ſhall you chaunge your rude thornes of the world, for the beautifull flowre-delice of heauen. O how gracious and ſweet repoſe, ſhall you then find after the ſweat of your afflictions. The golde is not more pure and glorious, after it hath beene refined in the furnace, and made readie to receiue the ſtampe and image of a great Prince or ſerue for an ornament to ſome rich cabinet, then the heart of him who loueth his God, when it commeth pure out of the furnace of the worlds miſeries, to bee decked with ſplendor and glorie. What is there that can content mee in this world? What ſhall ſtay or hinder me from entring into the houſe of the Lord, to liue for his ſeruice. How ſhal I forget to deplore, all the dayes of my life, my ſinnes which had put his grace ſo farre from mee? Reconcile then in mee, O my God, theſe two Paſsions; of repentance, and conſolation: that as the wandring Pilgrim hauing loſt his waye in the wilderderneſs, reioyceth when he ſeeth the day to dawne, and yet forgetteth not the obſcure darknes, whence hee is yet ſcarce freed, and can not as yet wholy caſt off the feare, which he had of ſo tedious a night: ſo I may euer retaine ſome horrour of my faults paſſed, and yet hauehave a certaine and ioyfull hope of eternall happineſs, which thou haſt purchaſed for mee, with the precious price of the bloud of thy moſt deare ſonne. Oh how great is this louelove, when the Mr. ſpareth not the life of his onelyonly Son, to redeeme his ſlaue? And now ſince I hauehave been formed and faſhioned by thy hands, purchaſed and redeemed with thy bloud, and purified and clenſed by thy mercy; I will offer vp my ſelfe before thee, as a ſacrifice of obedience: caſt mee not away, O my God.