The Ambassador Between Heaven and Earth, Prayers · Prayer 25
Of the danger of deferring our repentance, with a praier ſuddenly to conceiue it, and ſoone to practiſe it.
MErciful God, and moſt louing father, what may I render vntounto thee for all thy benefits, more in number then the moaths in the ſunne, or ye ſands duplicate page duplicate page by the ſea-ſhore, that haſt made to be when I was not, predeſtinated mee from y• beginning of the world, to be in due time and ſeaſon, protected me in my mothers wombe, carefully taken me out from thence, euer ſince been my guardian to theſe years of my youth: & for all theſe thou requireſt nought but thankfulneſſe towards thee, and remembrance of thee in my yonger yeares & capacities, and ſhall I neglect and deferre then to giuegive thee the gifts of thine owne giuing? ſhall I giuegive the firſt of my life, and beſt of mine yeares, the ſtrength and marrow of my dayes to the ſeruice of Sathan, and think that thou wilt receiue me in my hoary age, when ſinne leaues me, and I not it? Good Lord wipe all ſuch ingratitude out of my mind, yt I may with a preſent ioy & felicity in thee, imbrace thee in due time in ſome meaſure, which haſt done & ſuffered ſo many things for my ſoule and body: put farre from me, O Lord, the thoughts and imaginations of wicked men, that vponupon thy long ſuffering & patience, paſſe ouer their daies in mirth and iollity, and thinke their lateſt yeares, or laſt gaſpes ſufficient ſatiſfaction for a lewd and long miſ-ſpended life. Thy father & thy mother in the dayes of thy humanity, looſing thee in the temple went but one dayes Iourney without thee, but ſought thee 3. dayes, ſorrowing before they found thee. Hee y• hath loſt thee many years, muſt hauehave many yeares to finde thee againe; and late and conſtrained repentance is ſeldome true repentance: our time is not when wee our ſelues will, but when God doth call, heare wee muſt when he ſpeaketh, open we muſt when he knocketh, elſe wee ſhall powre out our petitiōs in vaine: for when wee pray hee will not heare vsus, the firſt and beſt is his due, & more then we can giuegive, or he expects; and the laſt & worſt is not ſufficient, and hee iuſtly may and will reiect it. Grant therefore mercifull Father, that thy word may worke in vsus ſo free and voluntary obedience to thy will, that thou mayſt accept it, which in vsus is willing ſubiection, not by thy iudgements, which is conſtrained obedience for feare of diſtruction, which thou litle regardeſt. O Lord take from me that common and dangerous ſin of preſumption, preſumption of thy mercies, that thou deſireſt not the damnation of ſinners, that our yeares & youth, obſeruation of diet, & curioſity of our health, will carry vsus to the l…ſt yeares of our expectation; and when we draw neere to our end, that then ſafely enough we may begin to thinke vponupon thee, & all in due ſeaſon And thus make preſumption the rocke whereupon we ſhipwracke our ſoules, and by ye which many millions hauehave periſhed, it drowned the old world, it threw the rich glutton into hell. Lord make my ſence & vnderſtanding as a bulwark to beat back all the policies and aſſaults that Sathan can deuiſe to beat againſt with that engine: that to day I may heare thy voice leſt thou harden my heart. And if I will deferre vponupon hope and example, make me that I rather feare the portion of the bad Thiefe, then the ſucceſſe of the good, and let me not re…uſe thy grace in my health, whē thou offereſt it, leſt when I ſhall craue it in my ſickneſſe, thou refuſe to giuegive it mee: Touch mee, O Lord, with a conſideration of the danger thereof, that in time I may hauehave grace to call for thy grace to preuent it, that I may now amend, and not deferre till hereafter, to the end, to my death, when there is no remedy, but either I muſt to heauen or to hell, to God or to the deuill, and when that comfort is ſeldome, found which preſumptuouſly was imagined, when the memory preſentes fantaſies and dreames, the harte akes, the handes trembl…, the tongue faltereth, the eyes wax dim, checkes pale, lips blacke, feet weake, and the whole body and ſoule poſſeſſed with anguiſh, and griefe, and terrour, what repentance ſhall we then make? when our ſinnes are ſo great they ouer-preſſe vsus, our comfort ſo ſmall that we hauehave noe feeling of it, our time ſo ſhort that we cannot thinke of them, our friends weeping that they put vsus out of them, amaſement & diſtraction peeping wildly throughout all our ſences, miſerable is that man in this caſe whoſe end and repentance comes ſo neare together-therefore Lord: whatſoeuer at the time of my death I would wiſh to hauehave done, grant that in this time of my health I may doe it, and Lord make me vnderſtāding, capable ſo wiſe in my generation, ſo gratious in thy grace that foreknowing theſe things I may preuent them, that with the wiſe virgines I may euer hauehave the oyle in my lampe, that is bee in readineſſe to goe with thee whenſoeuer it pleaſe thee, that now I heare thy voice when thou ſpeakeſt vntounto me, be acquainted with thee, that thou bee no ſtranger vntounto me; but a friend and a friend indeed, as at all times, ſo eſpecially at this exigent & laſt extremity, which how long it may be I will not preſume, nor how ſhort it may be diſpaire, but prepare my ſelfe againſt it, my readineſſe being my reſolution that whenſoeuer it ſhall come it ſhall the leſſe affright mee, in that before I hauehave ſet my houſe in order and diſpoſed my ſelfe thereto which preparation that I may make, and ſucceſſe that I may find, graunt me Lord (though ſo many neclect it) for thy mercies ſake.
Amē.