The Rules of a Holy Life, Chapter 27 – Chapter 29
CHAP. XXVII.
What wee must auoide, that our louelove may bee preserued.
THus of what we must doe to preserue louelove;10. Things to bee auoided. Now further, that louelove may be preserued amongst the godly, these things following are to be auoided.
First,1. Suits in Law. Suites in Law; A Christian must hauehave many considerations of his cause, before it can be lawfull for him to goe to law with his brother; These kinds of contentions are most vnnaturall amongst Christians, and proue not only scandalous in respect of others, but extreamely grieuous and poisonous to themselues, 1. Cor. 6. 1, 4.
Secondly,2. Dissimulation. Dissimulatition: our louelove must be without faining, in deede, and in truth, not in shew, or in words, Rom. 12. 9. 1. Iohn 3. 18.
Thirdly, Conceitednesse. 3. Conceitednesse.This is a vice, that extreamely vexeth others, and alienateth affection: wee must not be vvise in our selues, but rather in lowlinesse of minde esteeme another better then our selues, and shew it both by making our selues equall to them of the lower sort, and by going before others in giuing Honour and Praise, Rom. 12. 10, 16. Phil 2. 4. Pro. 12. 15.
Fourthly, reioicing in iniquitie. Our louelove must be holy and pure, if wee would hauehave it preserued. It must hauehave nothing in it, that is vnseemely, nor must it bee an affection, that will take pleasure in the vices, or faults of those, with whom wee conuerse, 1. Cor. 13. 5, 6.
Fiftly,5. Worldlinesse and selfe-louelove. The minding of our owne things: wee must not study for our selues, and our owne ends onelyonly in conuersing, 1. Cor 13. 5. The meaning is not, that wee should leaue our callings, and our houses, to spend the greatest part of our time in our neighbours houses, but he prohibits, First, Worldlinesse, and excessiue cares about our businesse, and the things of this life, which hinders needfull societie with the godly: and secondly, hee forbids selfe-louelove in conuersing, when men in all things aime at their owne profit, or pleasure, or credit, and doe not as well seeke the good of others: we may minde our owne things, but not onelyonly.
6. Sixtly,6. Ficklenesse. Ficklenesse and Vnconstancie: we must looke to it, that brotherly louelove continue, Heb. 13. 1. and to this end wee must looke to the leuitie of our owne natures, and striue to make good, by continuance, the affection wee hauehave conceiued and professed to others. Some are of such vnconstant dispositions, that they will louelove vehemently for a fit, and suddenly fall off without reason, but not without singular shame, and blemishing of their reputations. For such tempers are hardly fit for any societie. Now this must bee repented of, and refonned.
Seuenthly,7. Vaineglory. wee must take heede of vaine-glory, and an ouer-eager desire of credit and estimation aboue others. For this is the cause of much vnrest in our owne hearts, and of much interruption in brotherly louelove. And vvhy wouldest thou be so highly esteemed of? Thou considerest not the hard taske thou layest vponupon thy selfe, to bee euer carefull to answere that great praise, or estimation thou desirest: Nor markest thou, how thereby thou art made to offend against thy brother: by enuying him, by backbiting; or other waies of prouocation, nor yet how little this commends thee to God, Gal. 5. 26.
Eightly,8. Iudging. take heede of iudging thy brethren, not but that thou maist say, that sinne is sinne, but looke to thy selfe in two things:
First, that thou censure not thy brother about things indifferent, or doubtfull: such as ceremonies were and are. This is flatly forbidden, Rom. 14. 3, 13.
Secondly, that thy suspitions transport thee not to condemne thy brother for hidden things, the things of darknesse and counsels of the heart: till thou be sure of the fault, or offence, thou maist not iudge, or censure, 2. Cor. 4. 5.
Ninthly, if there be any occasion of grieuance that louelove may be renewed, or preserued, looke to two things:
First,9. Euil words and complaining. that thou render not reuiling for reuiling, 1. Pet. 3. 9.
Secondly, that thou grudge not against thy brother, or by whispering depraue his actions, or backbiting, or complaine against him to his disgrace in things, where the right is not apparantly discouered, Iam. 5. 9.
Lastly,10. Forsake not their assembly. if thou wouldest preserue thy selfe in the louelove of the godly, then thou must take heede of forsaking the assembling together of the Saints: Thou must preserue all vvayes of exercising the Communion of Saints, and hold fellowship with them in Gods House, and in your owne dwelling. Prophanenesse must not draw thee from the Temple, nor worldlinesse from societie, and louing, and profitable conuersation with thy godly friends and acquaintance, Heb. 10. 25.
CHAP. XXVIII.
How wee must carrie our selues towards such as are fallen.
HItherto of such rules of conuersation, as direct vsus in our carriage toward the godly considered in generall. Now there are other rules, which concerne onelyonly some of the godly: Namely:
1. Such as are fallen.
2. Such as are weake.
3. Such as are strong.
4. Such as are especially knit vntounto vsus in friendship.
For the first, those that are fallen, are either fallen from God, or fallen from thee. Such as are fallen from God, are either fallen grosely, and of habite, or by infirmitie, and suddenly.
Those, that are fallen grosely, are either guiltie of foule vices, or else of extreme omissions, such as that, which the Apostle instanceth in of Idlenesse, and the generall neglect of their callings.
Now towards both these thou must bee thus ordered:How we must carry our selues towards such as are fallen fro God.
First, warne them in the beginning, and reproue them sharpely, 1. Thes. 5. 14.
Secondly, if they mend not, auoide them, withdraw thy selfe frō them, conuerse not familiarly with them, let them not be the companions of thy life, 1. Cor. 5. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 6, 14.
Thirdly, if they repent, forgiue them, and comfort-them, lest they be swallowed vp of griefe, 2. Cor. 7. 2, 8.
Now if they bee fallen by infirmitie, either they are likely to offend again, or not. If they bee likely to fall further, saue them with feare, pulling them out of the fire, Iude 23. but if not, then restore such a one with the spirit of meekenesse, comfort him, deale gently with him, Gal. 6. 1.
This of thy carriage to such as are fallen from God.
As for those,How we must carry our selues towards such as trespasse against vsus. that are fallen from thee, by trespassing against thee, thou must obserue these rules of carriage towards them.
First, in slighter wrongs doe all things vvithout reasonings, or murmurings: either speake not of it, or so, as thou shew no repining, or vexation about it, Phil. 2. 14. Secondly, in great wrongs, thou must doe two things:
First, obserue the methode of our Sauiour Christ: when the trespasse is secret, goe and tell him of it betweene thee and him: If he mend not, then take two or three other discreet godly persons with thee, and tell him of it againe: if hee yet mend not, then diuulge it, and acquaint the Church with it: Either seeke a publike sentence vponupon him from authoritie, or acquaint the godly generally with it: and if these courses will not amend him, then abandon his societie, as if hee vvere a Heathen, or a Publican, Mathew 18. 15.
Secondly, if by any of these courses hee repent, forgiue him, yea, and that as often as hee saith, it repenteth him, if he should doe thee many iniuries, Luke 17. 3, 4.
CHAP. XXIX.
How we must carry our selues: towards the weake Christian, &c.
THus of thy carriage toward them that are fallen.
Towards weake Christians we must bee thus ordered:How we must carry our selues towards weake Christians
First, we must take heed, that wee intangle them not with, doubtfull disputations in matters of ceremonies, or things indifferent, Rom. 14. 1.
Secondly, we must get the skill to beare with their weakenesses, & meere fraileties, Rom. 15. 1.
Thirdly, wee must be wonderfull carefull, that wee doe not offend them, or cast any stumbling blockes in their way, Math. 18. 1. Cor. 10. 32.
Fourthly, wee must incourage them, and comfort them, and support them all we can, 1. Thes. 5. 14.
Fiftly, in things indifferent, wee must not thinke it much to crosse our selues to please them, and to suffer a little bondage in the restraint of our liberty, rather then vexe them; especially for the furtherance of their soules in the meanes of their saluation, wee should become all things to all men, Gal. 5. 13. 1. Cor. 9. 20, 21, 22.
3. Towards strong Christians wee must be thus ordered:How we must carry our selues towards the strong.
1. First, we must acknowledge such, 1. Cor. 16. 18.
2. We should set them and their practice before vsus, as paterns, & examples of imitation, 1. Cor. 5. 17. Phil. 3. 17.
3. Wee should submit our selues to such, to let them aduise vsus, & admonish vsus, and with all should submit our iudgements in things doubtfull to theirs, 1. Cor. 16. 16. 1. Pet. 5. 5.
4. Towards thy friend thou must be thus ordered.How we must carry our selues towards our special friend.
1. Neuer forsake him, Prou. 27. 10.
2. GiueGive him hearty counsell, Prou. 27. 9.
3. Bee friendly to him, Prou. 28. vlt.
4. Communicate thy secrets to him, Iohn 15. 15.
5. LoueLove him with a speciall louelove.
1. As thine owne soule, Deut. 13. 6.
2. Let thy louelove be at all times, euen in aduersitie, Prou. 17. 17.
3. It must bee a sincere louelove, that looketh not for gifts, or rewards, Pro. 19. 6.
4. It must be such a louelove, as will reach to his posteritie also, if need be, 2. Chro. 20. 7