Conflicts and Comforts of Conscience, Treatise · Chapter 3
CHAP. III. Conflict with Gods people offended, specially when the faithfull Pastour is afflicted for the least offence giuen by him to his Flocke.
THIS conflict, next to that, wherein the Conscience wrastleth with the wrath of God, may challeng precedencie of all other, in afflicting the soule, and plunging it into infinite perplexities. For to a faithfull Minister, who makes a conscience of his Calling, and so of his answerable conuersation, to whom nothing in the world is more precious, then the Spirituall well-fare of that Flocke committed to his charge, what can bee a greater corrosiue, then to hauehave a stumbling blocke cast before his people, and that (which is most grieuous of all) by his owne carelesse procurement? How many sentences now stand vp against him? Wo bee to that man, by whom the offence commeth; better, a Mill-stone were hanged about his necke, and hee cast into the bottome of the Sea, then hee should offend one of these Little-ones? Whereupon the Conscience inferreth: Then, what woe is due to me, to me a Minister, for giuing offence, and that not to one alone, but to the whole Church of God, but specially (which most neerely toucheth mee) to mine own Flock. Againe, the Apostle admonisheth Timothy, Let no man despise thy youth; And, A Bishop must bee blame-lesse: But the Conscience inferreth, I hauehave been obnoxious both to contempt and blame. Againe, Ministers must feed their Flockes, by the Word, by Hospitaltie, by Example: But the Conscience inferreth, I hauehave beene faultie in the worst kind. Ministers are the Light of their Flockes: But the Conscience inferreth, My light hath been turned into darknesse, and how great is that darknesse… Ministers are the Salt of the Earth: But the Conscience inferreth, I hauehave beene vnsauourie, and so hence-forth good for nothing, but to bee cast out to the dunghill. Ministers are Watchmen, and must giuegive a strict account to the great Sheepherd: But the Conscience inferreth, I hauehave not kept watch ouer mine own Soule, by meanes whereof the Soules of my Flocke are in danger to perish. Thus his Conscience (who makes a Conscience) conuicted by these, and many the like sentences of Scripture, and taking them all to heart, Tell mee (if yee can) what Creature in the world can seeme more wretched, more accursed, then this man doth in his owne eyes, in his owne apprehension? May hee not take vp that Lamentation, Is it nothing to you, Lam. 1.12.all you that passe by? Behold and see, if there bee any sorrow like to my sorrow, which is done to mee▪ wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in his fierce wrath? May hee not complaine with the Spouse, They made me the keeper of the Vineyards, Cant. 1.6but mine owne Vineyard hauehave I not kept? And thus he argues with himselfe: What is now become of all my paines, studies, indeuours, desires to doe good, to win soules to God? Must now (alas!) one small moth fret away, and cat vp that faire garment, that hath beene spun with so much paines, wouen with so much patience, and scarce begun to be worn with any pleasure, and lesse profit? Alas, good Ieremy, how poore and impotent was that thy impatience vponupon so light a cause, as to curse thy birthday, and all because the people cursed thee? And wherefore did they curse thee? Thou neither took'st, nor lent'st vponupon vsurie. Was there not then a cause? Thou would'st not be an Vsurer, like them. The more happy thou. But if they had cursed thee for some folly or errour in thy life, reason rather thou might'st hauehave had to hauehave cursed the day of thy birth. O holy Iob, thou complainedst, thou wast become strange to thy wife, to thy Family. Why? By reason of thy loathsome body. Yea, but thy heart was sound, thy Conscience cleare, thy life vnstained. Where was thy Spirit, that should sustaine such infirmities? But (alas!) the wounded Spirit who can beare?
But that which most of all augmenteth his miserie, and dampeth all his best delights, is, that hee cannot with comfort and courage, with alacritie and delight exercise his Ministry among his offended …cke. For whatsoeuer hee goeth about to teach them, may they not say vntounto him,Turpee… Doctoris eum … redargu… ips…m Physitian, heale thy selfe? Or with what face can he reproue sin in his people, that is culpable thereof in himselfe? Or when he preacheth the word▪ doth he not heare that voyce of God,Psa. 50. Why preachest thou my Law, and takest my Couenant in thy mouth, wheras thou hast cast my words behind thee? Or doth hee not heare that thunder of the Apostle,Rom. …. Thou which teachest another, teachest thou not thy selfe? Thou that preachest, A man should not steale, dost thou steale? Thou that sayest, A man should not commit adulterie, dost thou commit Adulterie? Thou that abhorrest Idols, dost thou commit Sacriledge? Thou that makest thy boast of the Law, through breaking the Law, dishonourest thou God? Or how can hee read that Sentence to his people, Be ye followers of me, euen as I am of Christ? And, Walke so, as ye hauehave vsus for an ensample? When his people may shelter all their sinnes, though neuer so monstrous, vnderunder the lest erronious slip of his frailty and say,Qui nobis ista dicūt, et ipsi non faciunt ista. Aug. in Ps. 128 They that teach vsus these things, themselues keep them not. In a word, how can hee take into his hands the dreadfull Sacraments, whereas the people account them profane, and vnwashen hands? In this case then, how shall the Minister of God, that should minister comfort to his people, find comfort to himselfe?