Conflicts and Comforts of Conscience, Treatise · Chapter 10
CHAP. X. The Comfort. How in this deplored case, the deiected soule may sustaine it selfe, and hold out to the end.
IN this case, many will doe, as with some bodily sickenesse, thinking to finde ease by change of ayre; especially farr remote from the place where the disease was contracted, where the offence was giuen. As many hauing made themselues obnoxious to censure, and an euil report in England, packe away beyond the Seas, thinking to expiate all with Irish ayre, and so to heale vp the wound. But of such the saying is too commonly verified, Coelum non animum mutant, quitrans mare currunt. Mutatio …, non ingenti▪ Aug.They rather change the ayre, then their manners. For by that meanes they may rather hide, then heale, rather couer, then recouer their hurt, rather priuily bury their sinne in the graue, where it more and more putrifieth, then in the fire of godly zeale burne it openly, that so being resolued into the ashes of humiliation, and exposed to the view of all, it may the more quickly be blowne away and scattered with the breath of better Fame. Yea in stead of curing, this change of place, although ioyned with true repentance, yet leaueth a suspicion behind, that he carries his sinne with him; which if he do, the further hee goeth, the more places he infecteth: whereas on the contrary, the onelyonly surest, and honestest way to blot out the ill name, contracted whither of euill habit, or of accident, is with a Christian courage, and patience, (not with a shamelesse boldnesse) to stay by it there, where the offence was giuen, and by an euident reformation, in time to weare out the ill opinion or report, and by his good example, or otherwise also by humble acknowledgement, where it is requisite, to make the best satisfaction hee can to the offended; while they who hauehave reported or reputed thee for a bad or debosht man, may with their eyes see the contrary; they that hauehave seene thy fall, may behold thy rising againe, to preuent them from falling by the example of thy fall: or if they hauehave fallen, to …each them to rise againe by the example of thy repentance. I say in this ease he hath …eed of a mighty courrage and patience supported with humility, denying, disclaiming himselfe, as that conuert-youngman to his late Pa…amour, who meeting her, was strange to her; and shee saying, Knowest thou not me? It is I: he replyed, A… ego non sum ego: but I am not …. He must resolue, and arme himselfe with an humble meekenesse to abide frumpes, frownes, or contemptuous affronts now and then. Nor can hee expect to worke out the …oyson of an ill name otherwise, but as a strong body ha…ing ouercome the poyson, workes it out with a great deale of patience in loathsome botches or pimples, d…facing the fairest body for the time. Such is the poyson, wherewith sinne hath infected a good name, it must first bee ouercome with the Antidote of g…ace, and the preserua…iue of a strong faith in the heart, whereby the strength of the poyson is ouercome, the conscience now recouering, and beginning to enioy peace with God: and so wrought out (although for along time it may taint the best life, and most beautifull actions, (specially falling into the hands of cruell and vnconscionable Chirurgions, who to make a long cure, poyson the sore wi…h some malignant plaster, tempered with the poyson of Aspes vnderunder the lips, which but breathed on the Patient through the Serpents hissing, or the foule mouth of Fame, of meere enuy, keepe vertue from recouering her natiue hue:) And although hee hath done all that he can, vsed the best possible meanes to cleare himselfe, yet must hee not rest here, or so giuegive ouer; he must not looke to bee so thorowly cured, but know that the Cicatrix or scarre will still remaine to the eye of the world, which yet may serue, both daily to put him in minde of his fall, still to repent of it, and to preuent the like; and admonish others not to bee secure, but to auoid shipwrack, by their daily beholding such a Sea-marke.
But yet with these cautions, first and last, and all a long, on the one side let him looke mainly to the sincerity of his heart in the truth of his repentance, and thinke hee hath neuer humbled himselfe enough. On the other side, let him withall looke to his peace with God, & the peace of his conscience in the pardon of his sin. By this meanes deere Christian soule, though thou canst not hope of euer quitting thy reputation and credit with all men while thou liuest, yet comfort thy selfe, that thy name is written in heauen, and that thou hast a new name giuen thee of Christ, ingrauen in a white stone, pure from all blemish or blame, such as is built vponupon the foundation of Gods Election, and made white in the blood of the Lambe, whose righteousnesse imputed is the pure linnen of the Saints, which shall neuer bee taken from thee.
And if thou beest a Minister of Christ, who hast giuen cause of scandall to thy sacred profession, although hereupon thou hast passed the sentence of condemnation vponupon thy selfe, as vnworthy any more to take the name of Christ into thy mouth, which thou hast caused to bee blasphemed: yet bee not altogether dismaid, but know, that those whom God, vponupon their Repentance, receiueth into grace and fauour againe, being not left destitute of his gifts and graces, hee denyeth not vntounto them the priuiledge to be, or remaine publike instruments of his seruice, as Dauid, Peter, Salomon. And now, who fitter to minister a word of comfort to the afflicted conscience, then he, who hath had such experience in himselfe, not only of the grieuous conflicts of sinne, but also (after many fierce trials & temptations, and wrastlings with the apprehension of Gods wrath) of those vnspeakable comforts of Gods Spirit in the peace of conscience, and ioy of the holy Ghost? Who can better then hee, giuegive direction and admonition to the people of God, how to beware of the deceitfulnesse of sinne, who hath himselfe so dearely bought the experience of hauing beene deceiued by it.
In conclusion, as the Patient hath need of patience vntill the comming of the Lord: So let him pray instantly, that the Lord would hasten his comming, to wipe off all staines from his seruants, all teares from their eyes, and to cloath both their names and persons with eternall beautie.