Paraphrase on the Book of Job, Chapter 10
CHAP. X.
1. MY anguish drives me to those1. My soule is weary of my life, I will leave my complaint upon my selfe, I will speake in the bitternesse of my soule extremities, that it makes me weary of my life. And seeing that hitherto I have acknowledged my guiltinesse in hope to have found ease thereby, and yet notwithstanding my griefe remaines unasswaged: Now therefore I am determined to accuse my selfe no longer before Gods secret Justice, but to seeke mine owne ease by giving vent to mine affection.
2. And therefore I will take the2. I will say unto God, Doe not condemne me; shew me wherefore thou contendest with me? boldnesse to enter more familiar parley with God, and to intreat of him, That hee will either cease to proceed against mee as a guilty person, being innocent, or else that he will shew me the cause of this his quarrell with me.
3. As first whether he dealeth thus3. Is it good unto thee, that thou shouldest oppresse; that thou shouldest despise the worke of thine hands; and shine upon the counsell of the wicked? with mee, because it is either profit or pleasure to him to oppresse mee, which I cannot thinke it is, for it cannot be that God should be a gainer, or should take delight to oppresse, or to reject and despise his owne workmanship, as I am, especially when as thereby hee shall fulfill the desires, and confirme the unjust surmises of the wicked.
4. Or secondly, Whether is it that4. Hast thou eyes of flesh? or seest thou as man seeth? hee needeth to doe by mee as earthly judges do by malefactours, that is, torture me, to discover the truth, whether I be sincere or no; neither is this likely; for hee hath all-seeing eyes, and therefore need not helps to make discoveries.
5. 6. Neither thirdly is it because he5. Are thy daies as the daies of man? are thy yeeres as mans daies? is mortall and short-lived like man, That hee thus heapeth these punishments6. That thou inquirest after mine iniquity, and searchest after my sin? upon me in this sudden and severe manner, as if else hee should not have time enough to try me, and to revenge himselfe upon mee, for the iniquity and sin which thereby he should discover, for he is everlasting.
7. It is not because thou knowst me7. Thou knowest that I am not wicked, and there is none that can deliver out of thine hand. not, and therfore wouldst find me out, that thou thus handlest me; for I know thou knowest mee well enough, that I am upright. Neither is it for want of power to make me forth-coming; but of thine owne just prerogative: for were I not approved in thy sight, yet thou hast no need to hold me thus fast in fetters; for thou knowest it is impossible for mee by any meanes to escape thy hands, either by flight or rescue.
8. For I am no stranger to thee, but8. Thine hands have made me, and fashioned mee together round about; yet thou dost destroy me. thine own very workmanship, even every part and portion of me from top to toe is both created and framed by thee, and none but thee. And yet (strange to consider) for all these reasons to the contrary, thou thus destroyest mee.
9. But I beseech thee remember9. Remember, I beseech thee, that thou hast made me as the clay, and wilt thou bring me into dust againe? that as I am the worke of thine hands; so againe, of what matter thou hast made mee; how that originally I am but clay, and what honour and event canst thou expect to follow upon thy fighting against such a worme with these thy omnipotent weapons, but to turne dust into dust?
10. And as in Adam I am but clay,10. Hast thou not powred me out as milke, and cruddled mee like cheese? so alas, thou knowest, how in my selfe I am framed by thee, of a weake and imperfect substance, to wit, the liquid seed of mine immediate parents.
11. From whence, indeed, by thy11. Thou hast clothed mee with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinewes. wisdome and power thou hast made to proceed skin and flesh as clothing to every part of my body, and an orderly juncture of bones and sinewes.
12. In which fabricke of my body12. Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit. thus composed in the wombe, thou hast further magnified thy selfe by adding a reasonable soule thereunto, with all requisit & favourable accommodations for my life and well-being, which very life and soule, as thou only gavest it, so also hast thou alone hitherto preserved it by thy providence and good grace; for it long ere this had been inanimated, hadst not thou kept it alive, by thy carefull preservation, sweet influences, and often visitations of my spirit which thou hast made me sensible of.
13. And therfore I know, that however13. And these things hast thou hid in thine heart: I know that this is with thee. thou seemest outwardly to deale with me, yet thou art secretly mindfull of this fabricke, which thou hast thus built, and that this my spirit is especially pretious with thee.
14. Or in the fourth place, is it as14. If I sinne, then thou markest mee; and thou wilt not acquit me from mine iniquity. they affirme? am I hypocritically sinfull, and therefore doest thou punish me? Indeed if I be such an one, then I know it is true, thou wilt be sure to marke mee and not to let mee escape unpunished.
15. If thou shouldest know this15. If I be wicked, wo unto mee; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head: I am full of confusion, therefore see thou mine affliction. wickednesse by me, then wo unto me; and though in this sense I know my selfe to be righteous, yet will I not justifie my selfe before thee, because I know my sinnes otherwaies to have deserved thine indignation. And now that I have thus vented my selfe by expostulating with thee, I am but the further plunged into confusion, not being able to satisfie my selfe, or to give my minde any ease; so that I see this is not the way neither, but when all is done, I must petition thy supremacy, and intreat thee with pity to behold my misery.
16. For it growes insupportable,16. For it increaseth: thou huntest mee as' a fircce Lion: and againe, thou shewest thy selfe marvellous upon me. thy pursute of mee being so Lion-like extremely fierce and violent: and as if no one torment could be sufficient for thee to plague mee with, thou assaultst me againe and againe, in a marvellous manner to expresse thy wrath upon mee.
17. Thou shewest wonderous enmity17. Thou renewest thy witnesses againd me, and increasest thine indignation upon me; changes and war are against me. against me, by charging so thicke upon mee with such succession of afflictions; and store of troubles by thine appointment execute thy severe indignation upon mee: yea, even all variety of evills both severally in their turnes, and joyntly in one set-battle, doe make warre against me.
18. If thou hast conceived such displeasure18. Wherefore then hast thou brought mee forth out of the wombe: Oh that I had given up the Ghost, and no eye had seene me! against mee, why didst thou not rather in thy fore-knowledge, decree it, that I should never have beene borne to cause thine anger, or else have died so soone as I had bin born? O that I had beene so happy never to have knowne, or beene knowne of any!
19. The very imagination whereof19. I should have been, as though I had not been, I should have been carried from the wombe to the grave. delights me in this mine extremity, to thinke what happinesse it would have beene to me, either not to have beene at all, or to have beene in such a way, as that my being had been equivalent to no being, considering that as the wombe delivered me, so the grave should have received me.
20. But seeing thou hast ordered it20. Are not my daies few? cease then, and let me alone, that I may take comfort a little. otherwaies, and that thou hast ordained mee to live, yet consider that my life is but short, in which time slacke thy hand, and allow mee some little ease and comfort.
21. 22. And cause mee not to die21. Before I go whence I shall not returne, even to the land of darknesse, and the shadow of death; whilest I live, nor to be in darkenesse whilest I enjoy light, seeing ere long I shall sustaine thine indignation in the grave (by the concluding punishment22. A land of darkenesse, as darknesse it selfe, and of the shadow of death, without any order, and where the light is as darknesse. of death) certainly never to returne againe to life, nor to enjoy this light; where I expect no better than confusion, and an absolute deprivation of the comforts both of life and light; for there I am sure is no vicissitude or order of time betweene night and day, but all the comfortable daies of life and prosperitie shall certainly be turned into uncomfortable lasting darknesse, then which it can afford no other.