The Golden Book of Christian Matrimony, Chapter 7
¶ The seuenth Chapter.
¶ Of the iust cōsent of both parties into ma riage, and howe that maryage oughte to be free and vncompelled.
TO the sayd poyntes also must eueryevery Chri sten man (whan he contracteth mariage) hauehave good respecte, namely y• his wedlock be accordyng to the common lawes that it hyndre not ye true beleue that it be done wt the know ledge of his parentes, or of them vnderunder whose iu risdicciō he is, and that he marry not in the forbydden degrees of consangu inite or affinite. Be sydes all this, and specially is required the free harty cōsent of bothe the parties, as it is recited in the discripcion. Wedlocke must be coupled to gither with the good consent of both the parsonnes. Concernyng the same good consent, wyll I nowe gyue this shorte instruccion.
This consent, is that ouergyuyng & graunt The consentof thy harte, whan vntounto thy chosen spouse thou promisest and gyuest thy selfe ouer in wedlocke and in the hyghest louelove & felawshyp that maye be vnderunder God. In the louelove and consentynge of harlots there is also an earnest fauoure of y• one louelove towarde the other, but that is carnall and wycked, therfore doth the dyuell knyt that whorishe and vnthrifty knot. The consentyng into mariage spryngeth out of gods ordinaunce and leaneth vntounto honeste. For an ordinate and pure louelove is it that she beareth towarde her chosen, by hym her desyre to remayne withe mynde bodye and good (accordynge to the worde of the Lorde) to serue hym, to shewe her trouth plyghte vntounto hym, to suffer well and woo wyth hy… yke as it followeth also in the descripcion. That vntounto theyr ende they dwell styll togyther, and spende theyr lyfe in the equall partakynge of all suche thynges as God sendethe. Therfore is it God hymselfe that knytteth the knotte of mariage. And whorysshe, carnall, and affe…tionate wyll, spryngeth of vicious lust and vanite, & hath not respecte to the glory and ordinaūce of God, but vntounto bewty or to other lyke transitory thynges. And as soone as the same faylethe, or yf he once myslyke her or se a fayrer, than fayleth the wyll and mariage also. But the wyll of lawfull mariage (as I sayd afore) consydreth the ordinaunce of God, regardeth honestye, and continuethe in louelove, euen in aduersite as well as in prosperite. Herein also diffreth the consentyng in mariage from naturall inclinacion. A naturall thyng is it that two parsons which are of lyke kynd and complexion, of lyke nature and dispocisiō, of lyke maner and occupyenge, shoulde beare more wyll the one toward the other, than they do that hauehave no mutuall fellowshyp herein. Yet is not thys wyl comparable to consentyng into mariage.
Notwythstondyng suche proporcion in kynd helpeth muche (no doubte) to a more stedfast vnt te & cōsentyng togytherin holy wedlocke, & then fore it is very good for the same. And to be short a matrimoniall consent is the same herte, disposicion & louelove, that Adam bore toward his Eua. He behelde all other creatures, and nōe lyked hi. But as soneas Eua was set before him, he sayd This same is once bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh, that is, she hath my hart, my mynd and my bloud. &c. as it is sayd in the fyrst chapter. For her sake thought he that a man shoulde forsake father and mother and kepe hym onelye vntounto her He knowledged that she was one body wyth hys, then must it follow also, that she had lyke mynd hart & wyll. For neuer one body hath The wil of mariage com meth of god.two cōtrary wylles, but one body hath one wyl. And of God hymselfe is the same wyll planted and mygtely conceaued in man, for it exerciseth it selfe strongly, & preaseth after his lyke. Therfore was it ryght spoken of thē of the olde tyme howe that maryage is prepared of God for all men. Herof cōmeth it that many straunge mari Maryages are appoynted and prepared of godages are brought to passe not inordinately thorow the workyng of god. But are takē in hand and do not prospere, for God hathe not so ordined it. In the. vii. Chapter of Toby doth the aū gell saye, y• Sara the doughter of Raguel should hauehave Tobias, bycause she was appoynted hym of GOD, and therfore dyed the seuen men to Sata.whome she was promised one after another. In the. xxiiii. of Genesis, Whan the father and mother of Rebecca perceauedde the wonderfull Rebecca.worke of God thorowe the message of Eliezer, they sayde: This cōmeth of the Lorde, therfore we can saye nothyng agaynst the, neyther euell nor, good: there is Rebecca before the, take her, & go thy waye wyth her. &c.
Whereoute it is easye to vnderstonde, that mariage ought to come of a free herte, and neyther to be constrayned and compelled of the parentes, nor of other menne. For in as much as wedlocke requireth both the parties good cōsent which no man can gyue, but only God, the parentes Note well.maye not compell the chylde, but hauehave re specte to gods ordinance, & to the ryght ordinate consente of the parties, and considre whether it be or no. Bathuel and Labin had respecte to the ordinaunce of God, and whan they saw ye same power before theyr eyes, yet sent they for theyr doughter Rebecca, to knowe her wyll also. And whan she of her owne free mynde hadde sayde yea, than was she fyrst sente awaye vntounto Isaac her spouse. Thus hauehave we before our eyes many ensamples, wherby we may learne what mi sery & wretchednes foloweth oute of an vnwyllynge and compelled mariage. And therfore it were a great deale better for rulers, to loke fyrst that no manne shoulde compell his chylde, then that they them selues afterward (when the mat ter is almoost past remedy, & hurte foloweth vp on hurt, shuld hauehave ynough to do wyth lytle pro fyt, and yet wyth much disquietnes.
Here muste the chyldren looke also, that they The inordinate affecciō of yong follies.fall not immediately to discord for this matter, and violentlye despisynge theyr parentes (make has… to theyr owne great hurte, & persuade them selues to be endewed wyth a wyll from GOD, which of God is not planted in them, but commeth of theyr owne inordinate affeccion. For it happeneth oft tymes, that a chylde taketh suche a fashyon in hande as ought not to be, and displeaseth GOD, and namely he goeth about to hauehave suche a parson as is not for hys honestye. As whan a yonge woman wyll neades hauehave a ryottous, wylfull whorehunter and wayster, or suche one as is forsworne and hath begyled many other. Or as whan a yonge man wyll nedes hauehave a vayne, wanton, fylthy, &c. (Herein to pre uent the harme that myght come therof) the parentes oughte to make obieccion, & to dispoynte them of theyr purpose. Yet should they not ther fore compell theyr chyldren into other mariages to the whiche they beare no harte nor wyll, but discretely enforme them, gyuynge them good in struccion, to gette that frowardnes from them but godlye to deale wythe them for theyr owne wealth and honeste.
It chauncethe sometyme that the parē …es thē The inordinate affecciō of parentes.selues deale not well, neyther seake honesty and equite, but only theyr owne inordinate affecciō and wyckednesse, where as sometyme the chyldren are more reasonable, and make obiecciō to theyr parentes, comely and with good manner. It fortuneth also many tymes that the parētes stycke styll to theyr owne frowardenes, to theyr f…lthy desyre of lucre and wyckednesse, and go about to delyuer theyr chyldren forth in the bar gayue. The chyldren therfore sometyme (for as Unreasonable parētes ought not to hauehave they… wylles.much as they are come past theyr year…s) beyng constrayned by suche violence, do aduisedly and in honeste prouide for thē selues. In suche a case verely ought not the hyer powers to suffer that such vnreasonable parentes as feare not God, should hauehave theyr wylles.
For lyke as the inordinate affeccion of the chyldren is not to be permitted, whan they wyll nedes hauehave suche parsonnes as be to theyr owne destruccion: So can no equite alowe you, O parentes, Marke wel.that for your couetous lucre sake, do set youre owne fleshe and bloud to morgage. youre opinion is (happely) to make sure prouision for them, but seyng youre enterprise commethe not of God, neyther leaneth vntounto honeste, therfore do ye but sell them away. Let eueryevery mā therfore hauehave respecte to God, to honeste and to the right consent so shall God suffer no man to miscary.