The Golden Book of Christian Matrimony, Chapter 5
¶ The fyfth Chapter.
To a ryght mariage, must chyldrē also hauehave the consent of theyr parentes.
MOreouer lyke as God & faythe shoulde not be denyed or forsakē wythe ye mariage, euē so they whiche are nexte to god (as father & mother ought not to be neglected & Marke wel.despysed. For though God sayd: A mā shall forsake father & mother, & kepe him to his wyfe, yet those his wordes in ye same place, are cōcerninge mariage yt is made alredy (what duty they ye are maried owe ye one to ye other) & are not touching the contractyng of wedlocke, that chyldren may mary, without the respecte, knowledge or cōsent of theyr parētes, vnderunder whose authorite & iurisdiccion they be. And I wonder what the papisti call bokes & learned men dyd meane, whan they taught that the consent only of both the parties doth fastē the matter, & coupleth thē togither in mariage: The cōsent of ye parētes also, say they is good with all, but whan they two hauehave cōsen ted, and one hath taken the other, ye knot can not be vnknyt, neyther maye the parentes seperate thē from a sunder Wher as lawes both natural (diuine specially) and ciuile, require the parētes consent to the chyldrens mariage: In so much yt they iudge the promyse to be of no value, which is made without the knowledge of the parentes yea & that also in those chyldrē, which as yet are not come to theyr yeares, & are yet vnderunder the tui cion of theyr elders. Forin as much as the chyldrē are not yet come to perfecte discreciō they cā not cōtracte mariage which requireth vnderstā dyng, yea they can nether coūsayle nor helpe thē selues. So y• in this behalfe y• cōsent of theyr parentes is not only necessary but also good & pro fitable for thē, As for preuy cōtractes which are not made according to the lawes, they hauehave euer bene reiected, neyther were they acceptable to any Preuy contractes.man, saue vntounto suche as were ignoraunt and wycked. For why: for the moost parte they are made of some fond affecciō, yea knauery, falshod & disceate is commōly the doer, to persuade, & by wordes to take yong folkes in the snare. Many priuy cōtractes are brought to passe wt flattery, wyth dronckennes, wyth rewardes & promises, wherby young ignoraunt people are vtterly begyled & destroyed. To gyue liberte & licēce vntounto suche, is euen as muche as to gyue a mad mā a swerd, & a knyfe to a yong chyld, yea a very slaū Note.dering is it & a dishonouryng of mariage. Diso bediēce of chyldrē also toward theyr parentes & tutours, hath euer bene reprehended among all naciōs. God cōmasideth and sayth: Thou shalte honour thy father & thy mother. Nowe doth the E…d. xx. Chyldrenne must honour theyr parentes. Isaac.obediēce or disobediēce of ye chyldrē at no time de clare it selfe more than in contractynge of wedlocke. Greater honour canst thou not shew vntounto thy parentes, than whan thou followest thē herein: neyther greater dishonoure than whan thou herein resistest them. Esau displeased hys parētes very sore, in takyng his wyfe wtout their cōsent. Iacob followed theyr mynd & was cōmē ded. This commaundement also of honouryng our parētes, dyd our Lord Christright faythful ly, cōmit vntounto vsus. Math. xv. In the. vii. of Deu. doth God gyue this charge vntounto his people say enge: You shal not marry your sonnes & dough ters to the vnbeleuers. By the whyche wordes we maye well vnderstande, that the authorite of marryeng yonge folkes, lyeth in the parentes & not in them selues, Wherfore Abraham before the lawe charged his seruaunt Elieser, that concernynge the contractynge of mariage betwene Isaac & Rebecca he shulde do his message wythe Bathuell and not specially wythe Rebecca her selfe. The seruaunt also dyd hys eacande to the parentes and not to the daughter, althoughe he founde her alone wythoute by the well syde (and had tyme, place and occasion sufficient so to do. This lawe dyd Sampson obserue. Iudicū. xiiii. For though he had found & spyed a damsell that Sampson.pleased hym, yet he toke her not, but fyrst shewed hys parentes, brought them wyth hym vntounto her & toke her wyth the knoweledge and consent of hys father and mother.
In the seconde boke of Moses, the. xxii. Chap Note thys precepte.ter doth God commaund thus. If a man begyle a mayd that is not detrouthed, and lye with her he shall endote her, and take her to hys wyfe. If her father refuse to gyue her vntounto hym, he shall paye mony accordynge to the dowry of virgins. Here dothe GOD gyue the father authorite to take hys doughter from the man, to whome she is promysed els by the lawe. Therfore maye the parentes drawe the chyldren agayne to theyr iu risdiccion. For this is a singuler great thynge, that the father hathe authorite, to take his forced doughter from the man, and to wythdrawe her from hym, to whome she was promysed by the lawe. In the fourth boke of Moses the thyrty Chapter it is wrytten thus: If a damsel vow Chyldrē may make no vo we nor promyse … the parentes consent.a vowe vntounto the Lorde, & bynde her selfe beynge in her fathers house and vnmaryed: yf her father heare her vowe and bond whiche she hathe made vponupon her soule, and hold his peace therto, then all her vow and bond which she hath made vponupon her soule, shall stand in effecte. But and yf her father forbyd her the same day that he hea reth it, thā none of her vowes nor bōdes whiche she hath made vponupon her soule shalbe of …alue. &c. Although nowe in these sayde wordes of God, there is no marryage but vowes expressed and named, yet is it an euident testimonye, that no chyld which is not y…t come to hys yeares, and is yet vnderunder the tuicion of his parentes, hathe aucthorite to vowe, bynde, or alter it selfe wythout theyr consent, yea yf any suche vowe or alte racion do chaunce, that then the parentes hauehave a…thorite by the lawe of GOD, to lette and hynder the same. For in as muche as. God permytteth to vnbynde it, and wyll not that it shal be of any effecte, whiche wythout consent of the parentes is promised to hym selfe, no doubte, he wyll not that it shall stande immutable whiche in disobedience is wylfully done without the pa tentes consent.
The holy Apostle Paule in the fyrste Chap, of ye fyrst Epist. to Timo. amonge many other greuous synnes, rekenethe also the stealynge away Mēstealersof men, whiche is a shamefull vyce, whan mens children, seruauntes or suche other folkes as belong vntounto them, are caried awaye or entysed frō them, Whan a wicked, sotel & shamelesse woman, entyceth an ygnoraunte yonge mā frō his father, which with great expenses trauayle & laboure hath brought him vp, whan she blyndeth him with louelove, and at the laste gettethe him awaye vnderunder the title of mariage: Or whan a wanton and fayre tongued fellowe entycethe a damesell from hyr mother, and than (vnderunder the tytle of mariage) conueyeth her awaye, what is it els but menne stealyng:
Thus I trust it is manifest out of gods word and the lawe, that to the laweful mariage of the children, the consente of the parentes also is necessary, and that the chyldren oughte not to cast theyr parentes a syde: & yf they do, that then the parētes maye refuse and dysanull the chyldrens promyse.
The eyuyle and Imperyall lawe requyrethe also the consent of the parentes, as it is manyfeste The eiuile lawe.libro Pandeet. xxiii. Iustinian the Emperour Instit libro. i. tit. xi. wryteth after this maner, lawfullye & ordinatelye do they cōtract mariage one with another, whiche come together after the cōmaundementes: & lawes yonge men whan they are olde ynough to take wyues, and yonge wemen whan they are of conuentent age to take husbōdes: but so that they hauehave the cōsēt of theyr parētes, vnderunder whose auctorite they be. That this shalbe so, wyllethe and chargethe the lawe eyuyle & naturale in so much that the fathers cōmaundement must go before: These be Iustinians wordes, which are so manifeste and euydēt, that they nede no further declaracyon.
Upon this do some men thinke, that theyr ma riage is no mariage, & that the one of thē shulde nowe be separated frō the other seyng it is so lōg sens they were cōtract agaynst the wyll of theyr parentes. But such personnes ought to considre that theyr parentes dyd not put the frō a sunder & therfore is theyr wedlocke now a lawfull wed locke, inasmuch also as in processe of tyme theyr parentes were reconcyled. And thoughe it were not so, yet openly accordynge to the custome of the comen lawes were they permitted to mary, & were solemply receaued in to wedlock, lyuynge honestely together, hauehave had chyldren, exercysed all dewties of mariage. Therfore ought they by reason to cōtinew styll in theyr matrymony & … al poyntes to applye thē selues to ye feare of god
Some turne thē selues another waye & sayes Thorowe such lawes are the poore snared, that they can neuer come to anye riche mariage, for the rytch wyll not geue theyr chylorē to the poore Wherby it may easely be perceaued, where the shoo wringethe them, that resiste thys aunciente good and reasonable lawe. Theyr harpynge is Note.vponupon theyr halfepeny, theyr mynd is to be riche with mariage: neyther are the satisfyed to hauehave takē awaye the chylde agaynste the fathers and mothers will, but agaynst theyr myndes wolde they hauehave the good also. These take not the child because of mariage, but for the goodes sake.
Thus doth iniquite discloose it selfe, that a man maye well perceaue, what it is that some menne seake in mariage. A reasonable manne whether he be rytche or poore wyll allwaye hauehave respecte vntounto the feare of god, to honestye, to faith fulnesse, to laboure and vertue, and not to the Themistoclesbagge of moneye. Themistocles desyred rather to hauehave a wyfe, discrete and a prudent personne then one that was rytche. But who so hathe more respecte to worldly substaunce, thē to honestye and knowlege, is a shamefull personne: lyke as he also that hyghly estemeth suche a mās Virtus post nu…os.frendshyppe, and desyreth it for moneyes sake.
Nowe be as be maye: Who soeuer is greued with this lawe towchynge the consent of the pa rētes, let him laye awaye hys gredye desyre, hys bragging and his fond affeccyon, and lette hym hauehave respect vntounto god and vntounto equytye. Lette hym cōsidre well the worde of the Lorde. What thou wylte not hauehave done vntounto thy selfe, that do not thou to other. So shall the law be more light vntounto hym, and the more easy to beare.