Sin Stigmatized, Part 1 · Section 24 – Section 26
§ 24
IN ſpeaking whereof, Drunken neſſe and Id…e…eſſe …f each …o … …h … …au…e …affect.I will firſt lay open the ground of all, which is idleneſſe; for although, in one ſenſe, idleneſſe may be called an effect of drunkenneſſe, yet in another, it may be called the cauſe, both of it, and all the reſidue of evills which accompany the ſame; for idleneſſe is the moſt corrupting Flie that can blow in any humane minde. We learne to doe ill, by doing what is next it, nothing; and hence it is, that vice ſo fructifies in our Gentry and ſervingmen, who have nothing to employ themſelves in.
It is ſaid of Rome, that during the time of their warres with Carthage and other enemies in Africa, they knew not what vices meant; but no ſooner had they got the conqueſt, then through idleneſſe they came to ruine. Ruſt, you know, will fret into the hardeſt iron, if it bee not uſed; Moſſe will grow on the ſmoatheſt ſtone, if it bee not ſtirred; Mothes will conſume the fineſt garment, if it bee not worne: ſo vice will infect even the beſt heart, if given to idleneſſe. Standing water is ſooner frozen, then the running ſtreame; hee that ſitteth is more ſubject to ſleepe, then hee that walketh: ſo the idle man is farre more ſubject to temptation, then hee that is profitably exerciſed: yea, idleneſſe (ſaith one of the Fathers) is the Devills onelyonly opportunity; for if hee come, and finds us well buſied, hee leaves us for that time, as having ſmall hope to prevaile.
An idle perſon is good for nothing but to propagate ſinne, Idleneſſe the moſt corrupting Fly that can blow in any humane minde.to bee a factor for the Devill: it faring with man, as with the earth of which hee was made; which, if it bee not tilled, or trimmed, doth not onelyonly remaine unfruitfull, but alſo breeds and brings forth Bryers, Brambles, Nettles, and all manner of noyſome and unprofitable things: ſo that Seneca ſeemes to be miſtaken, in calling an idle perſon the image of death; for though the body be idle, yet the ſoule, like a river, is alwayes in progreſſion, and his heart, like a wherry, either goes forward or backward, It may be reſembled to a well with two buckets; the mind no ſooner empties it ſelfe of good thoughts, but it fills with evill cogitations. If the ſeede dyes, the blade ſprings; the death of grace, is but the birth of corruption.
Now all the Drunkard's labour, All the drunkards labour is to ſctisfie his Luſts.is to ſatisfie his Luſts; and all his life, nought elſe but a viciſſitude of devouring and venting: as how many of them make it their trade and whole vocation to keepe company. Whereas ſweat, either of the Brow or of the Braine, is the deſtiny of all trades, be they mentall or manuall; for God never allowed any man to doe nothing. Are not moſt populous places, by reaſon of this vice, like Antiochus his army, fuller of mouthes then hands? for, if you marke it, the company keeper and good fellowe (according to the vulgar) is the barroneſt peece of earth in all the Orbe; the Common wealth hath no more uſe of him, then Ieroboham had of his withered hand; hee is like the dumbe Iacke in a Virginall, for he hath not ſo much as a voice in the common wealth.
Whereas hee was borne for the good of his countrey, friends, family, &c. well may hee diſturbe the common wealth, and give offence and ſcandall unto all that are neere or about him, Rom. 14, 20, 21. as being unfit to doe ſervice, or ſubject himſelfe to be ruled by his Governors, civill and eccleſiaſticall; but profitable hee is to none, except Vinteners, Inkeepers, and Ale drapers, who are the greateſt looſers by him of all the reſt; (though they ſeeme to gaine much) for theſe are acceſſary to the Drunkards ſinne, and have a fearefull accompt to make, for their tolleration of ſuch, ſeing they might, and ought to redreſſe it, ſo that their gaine is moſt unjuſt: as may not that be written upon what ever they poſſeſſe, which Diogenes writ under the golden Statua, which Phryne the ſtrumpet dedicated at Delphos (this was gotten by the intemperance of the people) and in the end will prove as unprofitable, for hereby they endanger themſelves, and without repentance loſe their ſoules, Math. 16.26.
What is recorded of Margites, namely, that hee never plowed, nor digged, nor did any thing all his life long that might tend to any good, is truly verified in him, hee is not more nimble tongu'd then gowty handed (as Iulian the Apoſtate confeſt of himſelfe, and yet never thinkes hee ſhall give an account for this ſinne of all the reſt: but ſurely, if wee muſt give an account for every idle word, much more for every idle day, nay monethmonth, nay yeare. But I proceede. All the paines hee takes is for the enemy of mankinde: if you will have him worke, you muſt chaine him in a celler, where are good ſtore of ſprings, and give him the option or choice, whether hee will pumpe or drowne: which is the Hollanders way to dreſſe an Engliſh gentleman, whoſe ill demeanour hath made unworthy to live.
The company keeper is like a top, which alwayes runnes round, but never goes forward, unleſſe it be whipt: or the Mill wheele, which turnes about all day, but at night remaines in the ſame place: or like a blind Horſe in a maltmill, which is as farre in the morning as at night, for all the day hee walkes round in the ſame circle, over and over; and when he hath done, and ſlept a little, is new to begin againe.
Neither does hee, which walkes from ſix to ſix in Paules, goe more then a coytes caſt before him, Drunkards make it their whole imployment, to goe from theirs beds to the tap houſe, (for the true Drunkard thinkes no wine good, which is brought over two threſholds) from the taphouſe to the play houſe, where they make a match for the brothelhouſe, and from thence to bed againe: ſo that they either doe nothing, or that which is worſe then nothing: for hee is neither a Drunkard, nor an idle perſon, but a civill, compleat, and well qualified Gentleman, that ſpends the whole day, yea every day, but in bouſing, and bowling, and taking Tobacco.
O the number of men and women in this City, that are all the day idle, yet have not an idle hower to afford either the Church, or the ſtudy, or for the good of the common wealth! And therefore no wonder if they afford not mee the hearing, they onlie ſit to eate, and drinke, lye downe to ſleepe, and riſe up to play; this is all their exerciſe, herein lyes all their worth, and no marvell, for if the world be a mans god, pleaſure muſt needs bee his Religion.
They are juſt like ſo many Gnats, for as Gnats doe nothing but play up and downe in the warme Sunne, and ſing, and vvhen they have done, ſit dovvne and ſting the next hand or face they can ſeize upon: ſo Drunkards miſerably ſpend their good howers in unprofitable paſtime, ſit downe and backbite their neighbours. For, in this caſe, they reſemble Momus that carping god (as the Heathens faine) whoſe manner was, never to doe any thing himſelfe, but curiouſly beholding the doings of others, if any thing were let paſſe, to carpe at the ſame.
§ 25.
BUt to goe on; Drunkenneſſe makes dry, and they care ſinne with ſinne.for I may ſeeme to have left them at the Taverne dore. If you remember, their firſt flight was from their beds to the taphouſe or Taverne, thoſe common quagmires of all filthineſſe, where too many drawing their patrimonies through their throats, exhauſt and laviſh out their ſubſtance, and lay plots and deviſes how to get more: for hence they fall either to open courſes of violence, or ſecret miſchiefe, till at laſt the Jayle prepares them for the Gibbet, for lightly they ſing through a red Lettiſe before they cry through a Grate; but this is the worke of many mouthes doe but follow them ſtep by ſtep, and you ſhall obſerve that ſo ſoone as they are upon the Alebench, up comes every mans pot uncalled for, upon paine of loſing their cuſtome for a monethmonth after; which being doft, are filled againe, for it is the waiters office to ſee that the pots bee either alwayes full or empty, and the Drunkards law, that if the drawer preſents a pot not filled, or one of the company leaves a ſnuffe in it undrunke off, that both ſhall bee judged guilty of the breach of good fellowſhip.
Now what's the reaſon, that every morneing their firſt ſacrifice is offered to Bacchus; and that every day, bee it Sunday, they will bee in the tipling houſe, before they come to Gods houſe? I will tell you: Firſt, they are ſicke in the morning, untill they have qualified the old heate, with a new; and ſo they cure ſinne with ſinne, which yet is no other, then to heale an Vlcer by deading the fleſh, which indeed doth not make a man whole, but inſenſible of paine. Secondly, hee is an unconformitant to the rules of good fellowſhip, and an unproficient in the art of manchery, who obſerves not that rule, which Tiberius firſt brought up, of drinking, a cup of good liquor in the morning next the heart.
§ 26.
VVEll, One drunkard hath tongue enough for twenty men.by that they have doubled their mornings draught, their hearts come up as eaſily as ſome of their drinke; for wine is the daughter of verity, as Plato obſerves; yea, let him get but a cup or two more in his pate, his limitleſſe tongue ſhall clatter, like a window looſe in the winde; and you may aſſoone perſwade a ſtone to ſpeake, as him to bee ſilent; for then it fares with his clapper, as with a ſicke mans pulſe; which alwayes beats, but ever out of order.
Yea, it is ſo difficult a thing to be prodigall in drinking, and niggardly in ſpeaking, that B…s thought it a ſufficient argument to prove his wiſdome by, in that he could joyne theſe two together, which are in nature ſo diſſonant. For being at a banquet taxed of folly by a vaine babler, becauſe he ſaid nothing while others talked glib: hee made anſwer, that even this was a reaſon ſufficient to acquit him of the imputation of folly, for that no foole could ever be ſilent in the middeſt of his cups. And this likewiſe was held for a good argument by Zeno, who when diverſe Philoſophers met with the Kings Embaſſadors at a feaſt in Athens; when every one, to commend his wiſdome, uttered ſome remarkable ſentence which might be related to the King, he continued ſilent; and when the Embaſadors obſerving it, demanded of him, what they ſhould report from him unto the King? he anſwered, nothing but this, that there is an old man at Athens, who in the abundance of wine can keep ſilence.
Drink doubles the drunkards eyes, and eares; hee ſees, and heares (in his conceit) al things double, but multiplies his tongue beyond number: whence it comes to paſſe, that his talke, like Benjamins meſſe, is five times his part. Yea, one drunkard hath tongue enough for twenty men; it being like that clapper at Rhoane, which is ſo big, that it is ſaid to weigh, without the Bell, more then ſix hundred pounds: for let but three of them bee in a roome, they will make a noyſe, as if all the thirty Bells in Antwerpe Steeple were rung at once; or doe but paſſe by the doore you would thinke your ſelfe in the land of Parrats.