The Drunkards Character, Section 8
§ 8
3 THe Drunkard deprives himfelfe,Drunkards deprive themselves of sense and motion. not onelyonly of the use of his reason, but also of his senses; not of his understanding alone, but of his standing and motion also; beasts have no reason, no more have they, but beasts can use their limms, and so cannot they: drinke not onelyonly robs him of reason and speech (which two things distinguish beast and man) but likewise of sense and motion, wherein beasts excell stocks and stones, yea, it so blockefies him for the present, that neither hand nor foote can doe their office, as Terence hath it.
It is no rare thing in our swinish age, for men to imitate the ancient Persians, who though they were able to carry themselves into their banquetting rooms, yet they were alwayes carried out of them; in which case they can neither prevent future danger, nor feele present smart: why, he is gone, according to the Drunkards phrase, that is gone in his senses, gone in his standing, gone in his understanding.
Indeede, as there is a meane in drinking, which is lawfull, so there bee degrees of drunkennesse: the first draught f wine comforteth the heart and stomack, the second inflames the liver, the third fumeth into the head, and makes men fooles, the fourth quite takes away their senses, and makes them to adore their god Bacchus, like beasts upon all foure, or rather like blockes, as having never a leg to stand upon; so what is feighned of Proteus, viz. that he was transformed, first, into a Lyon, then into a boare, and at last into a tree, is really verified in many a Drunkard: as have you not knowne some of them towards their latter end, in Cleomenes condition, who carrousing after the manner of the Scythians; dranke so much, that he became and continued ever after senselesse.
What shall I say of a Drunkard? that little mouth of his, hath swallowed downe himselfe, his paunch hath buried the wine, and in the wine is his wit buried, his senses, his soule, and perhaps his last wealth; yea, hee is dead as well as buried: for you may ring a bell in his eare, hee heares not, much lesse can he speake, yea scoffe him, rob him, spurne him if you will, he feeles not, he stirres not, much lesse can he quarrell.
Matheolus writing of the Asses of Thuscia, saith, that when they have fed upon Hemlockes, they sleepe so soundly that they seeme to be dead, in so much as the countrymen many times more then flea off halfe their skins before the Asses will awake; these Drunkards are such Asses, when they have drunke stiffe, and are fallen asleepe, you may halfe flea them before they will awake: I have knowne it so in effect by one of them, whom no violence, or paine could awake, so that hee is more like a stocke or stone then a reasonable or living creature.
Or if he be not so dead as a dore naile, yet at least the drinke hath turned him out of dores, for whosoever would speake with him, must stay untill hee come home againe to himselfe: and hereupon, when Cyrus in his childhood was asked by his Grandfather Astyages, why at such a feast hee dranke no wine? he returned this answere, full of witty simplicity: because, said he, I tooke it to be poyson, for I have seene it to spoyle men of their wit, sense, speech, health, strength, and motion: neither proves it lesse hurtfull to Drunkards then ranck poyson, but farre more; for it intoxicateth the braine, benummeth the senses, enfeebleth the joynts and sinewes, and bringeth a man into a temporary Lethargy, besides the evill that it brings to the soule, which is farre worse; so that a beast is a man to such a man: for what is he better then a walking tankard at best, as Aurelius called Bonosus, that quaffing Emperour, who afterward (being overcome by Probus) hanged himselfe, leaving this to be spoken in his praise, that he was not borne to leade an Army, but to lift a pot. But in case aforesaid, namely, when they have drunke themselves deafe, and blind, and dumbe, nay, dead and senselesse, to what can I so firly compare them, as to the Idolls of the heathen, which have eyes, and see not; eares, and heare not; tongues, and speake not; noses, and smell not (no not their owne vomit) hands, and handle not; feete, and walke not, being as dead men, that can neither sit, stand, nor goe, nay worse by farre: for hee that is dead, can doe neither good nor ill, but drunkards are dead to all goodnesse whatsoever; and alive, yea, very active to all wickednesse; so that their conditon is farre worse then the very beasts that pepith, Psal. 49. 12. 20.
But admit the best, namely, that they are beasts, you cannot but grant that these uncleane beasts, which wallow in the mire of sensuality; these brutish Drunkards, which transforme themselves through excesse; are even those swine, whom the Legion carries headlong to the Sea, or pit of perdition, Mat. 8. 32.
Or will they have themselves to be men? Surely to come to drinke, as to a Sacrifice unto the belly, is a most base and brutish Idolatry; and what men are they like, or to whom may they fitly be compared? surely unto none, except Epicurus, who maintained, that sensuall pleasure was the only Summum bonum: or Cerinthus the Hereticke, who verily beleived, that the chiefe felicity in Heaven, should be eating and drinking, and such like fleshly lusts.