The Drunkards Character, Section 39 – Section 40
§ 39.
BUt to make it undeniable that Drunkards are fooles: Drunkennesse either fi…des them fools or makes them fooles th…t …se it.see how drunkennesse either finds men fooles, or makes them fooles that follow it. First, it commonly finds them fooles, for excesse, is a true argument of folly, Plut…rch was wont to laugh at those, that would be counted wise as Plato, and yet would be drunke with Alexander.
Indeed we use to say when the drinke is in, the wit is out; but surely if the wit were not first out, drinke (in excesse) would not be admitted in. A wise man will moderate his appetite, master his unruly affections, gainesay all unreasonable requests; whereas to be overcome with excesse, and overswayed by every idle solicitor, is the cognizance of a foole. Yea, who more sottish, then he which refuseth to be a Saint, that he may be a beast? who more foolish, then those prophane Esa…s, that will fell their birthright, reason, and the blessing of grace here, and glory hereafter, for a messe of pottage, a little sensuall delight, and with Adam, part with their …alvations for an Apple▪ Yea, Esau was a foole for selling away his birth-right, but in …elling it away for a messe of pottage, he was twice a foole. What greater folly and madnesse, saith St. Gregory, then for a little worldly pleasure, to loose an eternall kingdome, and then rest in torment for evermore.
Many censure Herods grosse impotencie, and yet second it with a worse; giveing away their pretious soules for the short pleasure of sinne; for what is halfe a kingdome, yea, the whole world to a soule? so much therefore is there madnesse greater, as their losse is more.
Yea, the Drunkard is a foole touching temporalls. I would faine know, whether is wisest the prodigall waster, or the covetous griper; he that with a wanton eye, a liquorish tongue, and a gamesome hand, indiscreetly, ravells out his Auncecestors faire possessions, it may be a hundred pounds per Annum in three yeares, and then leads the rest of his dayes in prison, there to repent at leisure, having for his attendants, sorrow, griefe, diri…ion, beggery, contempt, &c. or he that to get a hundred pounds per Annum, and onelyonly possesse, not use the same, after he hath got it, perhaps three yeares, is content to be weeping, and wayling, and gnashing of teeth in the prison of Hell for evermore? without question these two are both fooles alike.
In a word, what greater folly then for a little tickling of the palate, a kinde of running banquet, to hazard the losse of eternall comfort, and expose ones selfe to a devouring fire, an everlasting burning? Isay. 33. 14. surely in this case if a man were not either foolish, or drunke before hand, he could never yeeld to be made drunke.
Secondly, or in case they have wit, and other good naturall parts before, and those well improved; yet this vice makes them become fooles, for drunkennesse banisheth wit.
Reason is so clowded with those fogs and mists, which ascend up out of the kitchen of the stomacke to the braine, that their wits runne a wollgathering, as the saying is.
A full belly makes an empty braine, when a masse of moysture (like the first Chaos) is in the stomacke, all the faculties of the soule are void and without forme, and darknesse is upon the face of it, untill there be another fiat. even a voice from Heaven commanding a new light.
Drunkennesse takes from men wit, memory, and all other their good parts; as how many of these quagmirists have lost their soules sight by overmuch drinking, as Dionysius the Tyrant did his bodily? How many old men through a long custome in this vice, are grown sottish and stupid, as if their spirits were buried in beefepots▪ whom wee may fitly compare to the people of Pandorum, a Country in the Indies, who (as they say) have white heads in their youth, which turne cole black in their old age.
Yea, drunkennesse besots the strongest braine, and beastiates even the bravest spirits When the Grecians (that sage Nation) fell to this vice, they mightily decayed in braine: and take this for a rule; while Bacchus is a mans chiefe god, Apollo will never keep him company.
Neither are men rob'd by it of their naturall parts only; but drunkennesse darkens the light both of nature and grace, and so yeelds men over unto Sathan, to bee led, as it were blindfold, into all manner of sinne and wickednesse, as we shall see anon.
Yea, (which is most remarkable) this may seeme to be the drunkards ayme; for being at it, he will never give over drinkking till hee hath laid reason his keeper to sleep, and blown out that little light which is left in him, and desperately drowned the voyce and cry of conscience.
§ 40
BUt before I go on, an objection would bee answered;A… objection answered for me thinks I heare some impatient drunkard reply to what hath beene said; that his wits (God bee thanked) are as fresh as ever, and although he hath beene drunk a hundred times, and so deprived himselfe both of re…son and sense for the present yet his wits have alwayes returned againe: which I grant in part, for I confesse it is not so with them all, at all times; every drunkard is not wholly forsaken of his reason, wit, and memory, (though there wits at the best be but as it were asleep) but sure I am, it is so with the best of them at certaine times.
We read that Philip King of Macedon, a Prince both wise and just, being drunk,Many examples of dri…k bes…ling me… gave a wrong sentence against Machetas, and condemned him being innocent; which hee perceiving, made his appeale from King Philip drunke, to King Philip sober; who being come to himselfe, and better considering of it, reverst his former sentence. And I have my selfe seene sitting in a Grocers shop (for such men I seldome meete in a Taverne) a Scholler and a witty man, being somewhat gone in drink, take up a Sand barrell, in stead of a boule of Beere, and (having said, here Cosen to all our friends) hold it to his mouth, untill a good part of the sand ran in betweene his teeth; and have beene told of many the like; as, that one being abroad late, seeing the shaddow of a signe-post crosse the street, stroue to lift his legg over, but gessing the matter impossible, he fell to chafeing and cursing, that the City was no better ordered; that another fell to cussing of a post for not giving him the wall, and being told that it was a post, made reply, he might have blowne his horne then: that another seeing the Moone shine bright through a round hole, would needs light his candle at it: that another being fallen down in Fleetstreete, should reply, when some admonished him, and offered to lift him up, what can I not bee quiet in mine owne roome▪ And you have heard what Athen…us relates, how a Tavern was, by the fancy and imagination of a drunken crue, turned into a Gally; who having a tempest in their heads, caused by a sea of drinke within, verily thought this tap-house on Land a Pinnace at Sea, and the present storm so vehement, that they unladed the ship, throwing the goods out at window, instead of overbord; calling the Constable, Neptune, and the Officers, Tritons; whereupon some got under the tables, as if they lay under hatches, another holding a great pot for the Maste; all crying out, that so many brave Gentlemen should be cast away.
And could this be, if drunkards were not stupendiously besotted? yea, surely if their wits did not dwell in a fenne, they could not have such muddy conceits: but so it is, as I have prooved by sundry, and those strong, evidences.
I confesse it is the better for them that they are fooles, the case being rightly considered: for what Owen speakes in the Epigram, may bee applyed to sundry drunkards,
Good Wine, they say, makes Vinegar mmost tart:
Thou the more witty, the more wicked art.
Yea, had they been born meere naturals▪ they had either beene in no fault, or in a great deale lesse fault, then they are. And so much of the drunkards wit; now of his memory.