The Drunkards Character, Section 28
§ 28.
SEcondly, suppose you urge him not the wine;His vaine babling, scnrrilo…s je…ing, … talking. having set his tongue at liberty, it shall resemble Bacchus his Liber pater, and goe like the saile of a Wind-mill. For as a great gale of wind whirleth the failes about; so abundance of wine whirleth his tongue about, and keeps it in continuall motion. Now he railes, now he scoffs, now he lyes, now he slan ders, now he seduces, talks baudie, sweares, banns, somes, and cannot bee quiet, till his tongue bee wormed.
And all this hee sets out with the same throat, that a hired waterman cryes Cales sand: for commonly a lewd tongue, is a lowd one; and a lowd tongue, a lewd one. Impudent speakers are like gaping Oysters; which being open'd, either stink, or there is nothing in them.
But to keepe close to drunkards. This Caca-doemons discourse is all quarrelling, scoffing, or scurrilous; for as hee hath a spitefull tongue in his anger, so he hath a beastly tongue in his mirth; as these two inseparably attend each other.
First, a spitefull tongue in his anger: for if you marke him then, having more rage than reason, hee enterlaceth all his discourse, either with reviling the present, or backbiting the absent: now all his prayers, are curses; and all his relations, lyes; talkative and lying, you know, are two birds, which alwayes she out of one nest. To be short, heare him when he is in this veine, and b…t seriously consider his condition, you would thinke, that by a just judgement of God, hee were metamorphosed, like Hecuba the wife of Priamus, into a Dog, whose chiefe property is to barke with open mouth, at such as hee knowes not: for without question, their wits are shorter, and their tongues longer, then to demonstrate them rationall creatures.
Secondly he hath a beastly tongue in his mirth: the drunkards communication is ever filthy and beastly, ful of all ribaudry and baudinesse; no filthy talke, or rotten speech whatsoever comes amisse to a drunkard▪ yea, no word savours well with them, that is not unsavoury; their onelyonly musicke (and so fares it with all the rude rabble) is ribaudry, modesty and sober merriment with them is dulnesse.
Thus whereas hee should either bee silent, or his words should be b…tter worth then silence; contrariwise, from the beginning to the end hee belcheth forth nothing, but what is as farre from truth, piety, reason, modesty, as that the Moone came down from heaven to visit Mahomet. O the beastlines which burns in their unchast and impure minds, that smoakes out of their polluted mouthes! A man would thinke, that even the Divell himselfe should blush, to heare his child so talke. How doth his mouth rune over with falsehoods, against both Christians and Preachers? what speakes hee lesse then whoredomes, adulteries, incests, at every word? yea, heare two or three of them talke, you would change the Lyc…ians language, and say, Devills are come up in the likenesse of men.
Yea, it is a small matter with them to meddle with their equalls, or to sit upon their parish Priest (as those hogsheads terme him) for in such a meeting they will visit a whole Diocesse, and Province; nay, the sagest Iudge, and gravest Counc…ller, and greatest Pee… in the land▪ must doe service to their Court, and be summoned before the Alebench; according to that in the P…almes, they set the…r mouthes against Heaven, and their tongues w…ke through the earth, Psal. 73. 9.
Nor will they stay here; for when they have huft their smoake into the face of these, they will have health to King Charles; and what not, for the honour of England? O that they should … to make that a shooing-horne to draw on drinke, by drinking healthes to him! I cannot bee in charity with the places that permit this, with the persons that pardon it, much lesse, with such Belialists as practise it.
But see greater abominations then these, for as yet wee bee but in the Haven; if wee launch out into the deepe, we shall meete with Sea-monsters, farre fowlerevills.