A Childs Patrimony, Part 2 · Chapter 4 · Section 4
§ 4. Anger.
A very ſtrong motion from very weak reaſon. It fills our houſe with ſmoake qforeign. Anger is like a ſmoake, it darkens reaſon, makes a very wiſe man a fool, and to do unreaſonably. Achilles ſpeech. Hom. Iliads 18.(well compar'd thereunto) that we can ſee to do nothing in it; nay more, It deals with us, as if one ſhould caſt the maſter out of his dwelling, and then ſet fire on his houſe: or, as if an intemperate ſcold, (it is Mr Boltons compariſon rDirect. p. 98. Lege Chryſoſt. in Gen. hom. 53. ….) ſhould juſtle a reverend Iudge out of his place, and there to take on in her talkative and ſcurrill manner. Iuſt ſo will this abſurd paſſion, uſurp and domineere over judgement, not giving reaſon leave to interpoſe a word; whereby it comes to paſſe, that the man loſeth the rule of his own ſpirit, and ſo becomes like a Citie without walls ſProv. 25. 28.; or like a ſhip without ſtern and pilot, expoſed to windes and tempeſts in the midſt of a furious ſea. This man muſt needs be at a loſſe, and make ſhipwrack of his wiſedome and diſcretion and all, ſo as his diſcreet friend cannot recover him again till he hath more command of himſelf, for if one ſhould repaire him and deliver him to day, he will need the ſame help to morrow, for he will ſuffer wrack again by the ſtorm of his paſſion; If thou deliver him, yet thou muſt do it again tProv. 19. 19.. So we have heard how bluſtering a paſſion this is; and what raiſeth the winde, viz. that we are diſpoſed unto it, by weakneſſe of ſpirit, for the weaker any one is by yeares, or by ſickneſſe, the more ſubject unto it, as children, old perſons, or uSeneca de ira. lib. 3. cap. 10.ſick (ſo univerſall experience hath concluded) or by overtenderneſſe or niceneſſe of minde. Therefore the wanton delicate perſons are very teſty xNon vis eſſe …? nè ſ… curioſus. Ibid. cap. 11., very petty matters will trouble them, a ſpot on their garment; a bird, a dog, a glaſſe. It puts me in minde of a delicate perſon, who, being Maſter of a feaſt, condemned his ſervant to be eat up of the Lampryes for breaking a Chryſtall glaſſe; whereupon the poore boy falls down at the Emperours feet, who was entertain'd at the feaſt, requeſting onelyonly this favour, that though he knew he muſt die, yet he would not ſuffer his Maſter to make him meat to fiſhes, which are mans meat, whereto the Emporour yeelded, cauſing all the glaſſe… in the houſe to be broken before his face, and then thrown into the fiſh pond where the boy ſhould have been put; I mention this to aſſure us; That none are ſo imperious, nor more abuſe their power, then your delicate perſons; one haire lying out of order will more diſquiet them, then a diſturbance in a Commonwealth.
There is another fruit of this weakneſſe, and that is an ungovern'd tongue. A great make-bate, diſturbing our own peace, and the peace of others. It foments and ſtirres up anger, and provokes more wrath: It makes the ſpirits keen and eager, ſo as words, cut like a razour, being whetted, as the Bore its tooth, in its own foame. There is a little ſpark of fire before us, It is at the yV…rumque in …re. foreign Chryſoſt. in Gen. de David & Saul Hom. 3. p. 1049.pleaſure of our mouth to make more ſparks, and to kindle it to a flame; and it is at the pleaſure of the mouth, to …aſt water upon it, to ſpit it, or to treadit out. So in point of debate and contention, the fruits of Anger; It is at the ſervice of the tongue, to kindle the heat and the fire yet more and more, and it is in the tongue to quench and put it forth. He that hath power over his tongue, ſhall ſtrike at the very root of this paſſion, and go neare to cut the (zSalvian de guber. lib. 2. p. 71. fibras) the very ſmall ſprigges or haires thereof; The wiſeſt of Philoſophers (if Ariſtotle was he) tells us; That Anger ſerveth as a weapon to vertue; It may well be, but then this weapon muſt be in a wiſe mans hand, who can command himſelf and his anger, for ſuch a man can be angry and ſinne not: otherwiſe anger is a weapon of a ſtrange nature; for, we do manage other weapons, and this doth manage us; our hand guideth not it, but it guideth our hand; it poſſeſſeth us, not we it. So we have heard what a weapon this is, or rather, how domineering a paſſion. We have heard alſo, what exalteth this folly; It is weakneſſe; The remedies are anſwerable, whereby to get ſtrength, and fortiſie our ſelves againſt it.
That perſon is ſeldome overcome of anger, who can take ſome command over himſelf in ſuch things, which yet, we may think, do little concern that paſſion; but yet they do very much. For the reaſon why a man hath ſo little rule over himſelf in a paſſion, is, becauſe he had ſo little comdmand over himſelf, when he was out of his paſſion: or rather, for ſo ſhall I ſpeak more properly, becauſe he carryes himſelf, as one in a paſſion alwayes.
I have often thought on thoſe words of Saint Paul; a1 Cor. 6. 13.All things are lawfull for me, but all things are not expedient; All things are lawfull, but I will not be brought under▪ the power of any. What is this to the ſubduing of this paſſion of anger? very much; for he that can check-himſelfe in things lawfull, will not eaſily exceed in things unlawfull. I have known ſome, who would not reach their hands to a diſh, or cup ſo ſoone as they might; they would abridge themſelves, and take of from that eag…rneſſe of ſpirit, we are ſubject unto: So they could keep themſelves from coming under the power of the creature, and more able, by uſing this fitting command over themſelves, to carry themſelves calmely, and temperately, in the puzell of buſineſſe, and tempeſt of humane life. He that carryes himſelfe as in a paſſion alwayes, we muſt looke to ſee him ſometimes in a phrenſie, when it would become him, to have moſt command over himſelfe. He that cannot temper himſelfe in lawfull things, will run ryot in unlawfull.
This is a point of ſpeciall conſideration; it takes of from niceneſſe and weakeneſſe of ſpirit, which ſharpneth very much the edge of anger bPlut. Mor. de Curi. foreign. Clem. Alex. P…d. lib. 2. cap. 1. p. 109.. I have read of one, who would put a letter up into his pocket, not breaking up the ſeale; which yet he knew full of news, but could not anſwer till the next morning; And ſuch a letter, ſaith he, I know ſome would have broken open with their teeth, if with their fingers they could not have done it ſo ſuddenly. He doth inſtance in other points of abſtinence, and perſwades to them, and concludes thus. That man cannot eaſily abſtaine from things forbidden him, who takes his full liberti… in all things, which are not forbidden him.
This requires our conſideration, for there is more in it, then ordinarily is conceived. But ſuppoſe a man now in his paſſion, what ſhall we ſay to him then? nothing, it putteth him out of his precepts quite; we muſt ſtay till he be ſober, unleſſe we can binde his hands. No ſound counſell can come in, while fury is going-out. As in a tempeſt (ſaith Chryſoſtome) while the Sea rageth, and there is tumult and trouble; words are vaine. If we will waite their ſeaſon, we muſt ſtay till there be a calme cIn Act. Apoſt. cap. 7. Hom. 17.: So here, we muſt ſtay till the ſtorme of anger be over. This puts me in minde of a very pretty obſervation from Phi. Melanch, which is this.
His little daughter was ſent on an errand, and ſtaid beyond her appointed houre, which moved the mother not a little; ſo much, that ſhe ſaid, ſhe would pay her daughter, that ſhe would. The father heard all, but as his manner was, ſaid nothing; went to the doore, and there he ſate, expecting his daughters return. Preſently after, home comes the gyrle. Now daughter, ſaid the father; you are too blame, you have ſtayed too long, and your mother will be very ſhort with you, for ſo I heard her threaten. I preethee, childe, what wilt thou ſay to thy good mother now, for ſhe is angry? The childe anſwered ſimply dSimplice p…rilique ſententiâ ai…bat.and like a childe; nothing for ſooth.
This anſwer pleaſed the father very well, and he made very good uſe of it, for this was his maner: When he obſerved men marching in the rage and roare of their paſſion, and upon the ſpur, then he ſtood ſtock ſtill; When he heard them caſting-up their words, from a very corrupt ſtomack, and calling-out, as if their tongues were their own, they might uſe them as they liſted, then was he all that while mute as a fiſh; making good uſe of his good childes anſwer, nothing for ſooth. And this nothing, effected ſomething; for by this patience in That excellent ſervant of the Lord, he brake the violence of his adverſaries impatiencie; ſo ſaith Camera: who writ Mela. Life ePag. 81.. It teacheth us how to carry our ſelves towards men, carried in a paſſion, To ſay nothing. But now for a man in a paſſion, if he be teachable, this, which follows, may inſtru…t him.
It is a hard matter to ſtop our courſe down an hill, and it is as fooliſh to courſe there, ſo is it a point of difficultie to refrain the minde in a precipice fAdvanc. p. 242.; But yet ſome have found it poſſible; I ſay then, if a man could refrain himſelf, and give unto his minde (as is uſed in horſmanſhip, and wherein the old Britaines, ſaith Caeſar gVſu quo…idian… & exercitatione in declivi et praecipiti loco incitatos equos ſuſtinere. Caeſar. Com. flexibilem eſſe ad n…turam a…ri proxim… accedit. L. Ver. de Aug., did by experience and cuſtome much excell) the ſhorteſt ſtop or turn; As thus; if he could refraine his hand, or his word, when it is going out, and behold himſelf in a glaſſe, before he ſtrike or ſpeake: And then after the heat were abated, which would quickly be, reflect, as before upon his poſture, ſo now upon that he was about to do, I ſay, if he would do but thus, it would be a great preſervative to prevent the next fit of his feaver. We read of one hSeneca de Ira. lib. 3. cap. 12., who, being very angry, and having his arme lifted up to puniſh his offending ſervant (over whom maſters at that time too lawleſly abuſed their power) bethought himſelf very ſeaſonably, and of what he was doing, ſo ſtayd the blow, but kept his poſture; then beheld himſelfe in a glaſſe, to ſee how like a foole he ſtood; But he diſcern'd more then ſo, that he ſtood, not like George on Horſebacke, though that is menacing, but more like a madman iArnob. lib. 1. p. 6. 7. in ſol. Lact. de Pru. D…. cap. 5., with his hands up, mouth drawn aſide and foaming, eyes ſparkling, countenance pale and much deformed; at the ſight whereof, he diſmiſſed his ſervant, and corrected himſelfe, and ſo was better adviſed for afterwards. I dare ſay, it would calme the haſtieſt man living, if he would look himſelf in a glaſſe, when he is angry and in a rage (but it is a point of patience) that then he might behold his impotent, and unmanly behaviour, how it disfigures, diſtorts and deformes him; It would help alſo, if, refraining his minde in ſuch a diſtemper, he would reflect upon that he was (in that tranſportation of minde) about to do or might have done; if he can reflect upon it, he will ſee clearely, That it was much better for him, becauſe he tooke leiſure of more conſideration.
Of all things, which admit delay, there is nothing, that receives more advantage by it, then our paſſion, nor hazard, then our repentance. It is certain, what repentance gaineth by admitting no delay, anger loſeth, our peace and quiet; yet deale we here cleane contrary; for where we ſhould not conſider, (not whether we ſhould repent or no) there we do; and where we ſhould conſider, there we do not. There is nothing, that can work us more ſorrow, then this; nor more advantage, then if a man would ſuſpend his actions a little, and arreſt nature in her paſſionate march. A little time would do it, and blunt the edge of anger, as the ſaying over the alphabet, ſaith one, the Lords Prayer ſaith another iD. G.. But if we gaine not ſome leiſure and time here, for our better proceeding, we ſhall for our repentance kThe end of paſſion, is the beginning of repentance. Fe…th. Reſ. 8. Plut. Mor. de Ira.. Phocion adviſed well to hinder the Athenians from a preſent reſolution upon the hearing of Alexanders death; News came that Alexander was dead; And the Athenians would, the ſame night, meet in Counſell, and determine things: Forbeare till next morning ſaid he; if Alexander be dead to day, he will be dead to morrow. Be not ſo haſty, this buſineſſe will admit ſome houres delay, and we ſhall proceed much more warrantably.
It is very applicable here; we muſt not proceed haſtily in any thing, for that is to proceed in a paſſion; if it be a fault, we are about to puniſh, it will be a fault anon, and too morrow, and we ſhall be better able to diſcerne it, and to helpe it. We may do nothing while we are angry; for then we will thinke we may doe any thing. He muſt not looſe the power of himſelf, who hath an other under his. He had need have all his wits about him, that comes to drive out folly; and to underſtand himſelfe very well, that would direct another. It is the wiſe mans leſſon; The diſcretion of a man deferreth Anger. It is a point of wiſedome to ſubdue betimes,Prov. 19. 11. the firſt beginnings of unruly paſſions, which elſe, like an ill nurtur'd childe, will grow head-ſtrong (here we ſhould meet with the tongue again:) And this is by giving a check and ſtop to our ſelves, ſo giving time for reaſon to enterpoſe, and to aske this queſtion only, What do I? For want hereof, we obſerve men dealing unreaſonably with ſenſeleſſe things, falling foule upon them, miſuſing the poore beaſt alſo, that doth better ſervice in his kinde, and ſheweth more obedience then man doth. But very Imperious and domineering over children and ſervants; for our ſpirits (as was ſaid) ſtir as intemperately, and raiſe as great ſtormes in our little ponds, as great perſons do in their great ſeas lVide dominum ſaevientem in ſervos, &c. Fluctus coſdem, &c. Lipſ. de conſ. lib. 2. pag. 25..
I paſſe by them, who are ſo furious upon the Oxe, the Horſe, and the Aſſe, the poore Sheep alſo, all which do after their kinde, but he that miſuſeth them, doth againſt nature. I have nothing to ſay to ſuch, their folly may correct them. But when a parent is correcting his childe in a paſſion, this may check him, if he take ſo much time as to conſider; That he is a childe, and his own, ſo is its fault alſo; This will ſtop his eagerneſſe: but of this in the firſt part. So alſo when I am angry with my ſervant, this may check me; That though I may be bold with him, or her, being my ſervant, yet not ſo bold as to ſhame my ſelfe, or hurt them. Did not he that made them make me? Have we not both the ſame maſters over us on earth? and would we not be uſed kindely, and gently by them? And have we not all one Maſter in heaven?See the firſt Part. chap. 4. ſect. 12. and would we not all finde mercy there? Yea, but he is thus and thus, and doth ſo and ſo, and ſo often he hath provoked me? I muſt check my ſelfe now with this, and it will ſurely calme and coole my ſpirit; how mChryſoſt. in ep. ad Rom. cap. 8. Hom. 14. pag. 206. 2 Pet. 3. 15. Rom. 2. ….much, and how long, God hath borne and forborn me; And can I be impatient now? The long ſuffering of the Lord is ſalvation: It was ſalvation to Saul, waiting till he became a Paul; ſo was it to Peter, waiting till he went out; To us, elſe we had been, before this, conſumed: Marke this, and enlarge thy meditation upon it; I, it will be a meanes to frame upon thee that ornament of a meeke and quiet ſpirit, which, in the ſight of God, is of great price: for if I can ſay to my ſelfe but thus much; how long ſuffering hath the Lord been to me ward? I cannot be ſhort, and eager ſpirited toward my brother. I cannot ſay more, which is more preſſing and availeable to ſubdue my paſſionate ſpirit, and to gaine that conſtant and comfortable temper, which reſembles the higheſt region of the ayre, where there is ſtill a perpetuall ſerenitie, and peace. Laſtly, are they the wrongs, and unworthy uſage from others hands and tongues, that have put me out of the poſſeſſion of my ſelfe? or are they croſſes in my eſtate, that trouble and diſquiet me? Then thus I muſt check my ſelfe, By looking narrowly into my ſelfe, and up to an higher hand, as the children of wiſdome have done; I muſt remember the ten thouſand talents; There is nothing that can be thought of, of more force to win upon a paſſionate ſpirit, and to frame it to lowlineſſe, lovelineſſe, calmeneſſe, and unpaſſionateneſſe (which is the cement of ſocietie and ſweet converſe) nothing, I ſay, of ſuch force as theſe conſiderations; Firſt, of Gods all diſpoſing, over-ruling hand, who is ſo good, that He would ſuffer no evill to be, were He not ſo powerfull, that out of the greateſt evill, He can extract the greateſt good.
Secondly, The riches of His mercy, that forgave ten thouſand talents; And ſhould I flye at the throat of my fellow ſervant for a few pence? Thoughts hereof will frame us to a ſetled repoſed eſtate, and an unpaſſionate ſpirit. But the remedy of remedies, the moſt certain and excellent remedy, whereby to ſhoare-up, and underprop the ſoule againſt the ſhakings, and impetuous bluſtering of this weake but impotent diſtemper, which bloweth hard, and boaſteth great things; The beſt remedy I ſay, is, To addreſſe our ſpirits before the Lord; To look to Him, who rebuked the winds, and Seas, and they were ſtill. We may ſay of this fiery exhalation, as is ſaid of the tongue nJames 3. 8.(a fire too, and angers firſt oPrima ſemper irar… tela maledicta ſunt; & quicquid non poſſumus imbecilli, optamus irati: Salv. De Gub. lib. 3. pag. …1.weapon) But this unruly evill can no man tame: we muſt then pray, and in our prayer pforeign. Jam. 5. 17.pray, that is, we muſt pray earneſtly, we muſt wreſtle and weep in our prayer before the Lord; That He would hold in our ſpirits, calme and meeken the ſame. We are taught of God, to love one another, ſaith the Apoſtle, we are ſo indeed, ſaith the Father; For no man can teach it, and if God teach not, we ſhall flye off and all to pieces, like an unſerviceable piece of Ordnance, before we are diſcharged. We ſhall bite and devoure on another. VponUpon every occaſion, we ſhall flye out into ſparkles of heat, like the ſonnes of the coale as one ſpeaketh, which if you blow, it will ſparkle in your face, behold then, how great a matter a little fire kindleth qJam. 3. 5.. We may allude here to what we reade, ſpoken of the Leviathan rJob 41. 21.; An angry-mans breath kindleth coales, and a flame goeth out of his mouth. But if God meekens the ſpirit, if He humbles the heart, all this fire will be quenched, or, if not ſo, yet ſo kept in this fire ſhall be, that no burning lamps, no ſparks ſhall leap out; I meane, nothing ſhall be done or ſpoken, which may kindle wrath: but much yeelding there will be, much forbearing in the ſpirit of meekneſſe, as we learne by the example of Abraham; who yeelds unto the younger, rather then difference ſhall ariſe. And the true ſonne of a gracious father will yeeld, not to Abimelech only, but to the Heardſmen of Gerar, though the place ſhallChryſoſt. Ibid. carry a memoriall of the contention there, and injury done to Iacob there, the taking from him that, which God and nature makes common; yet rather then there ſhall be any contention, Iſaac yeelds, and accepts of an apologie or defence afterwards, though never a word thereof true. And this is meekneſſe, and patience indeed mildly to yeeld, not to ſuperiours only, againſt whom, perhaps, we cannot ſtirre and be ſafe; but to yeeld to inferiours, ſuch we would have diſdained (as Iob ſaith ſChap. 30. 1.) to have ſet with the dogs of our flocke. This is a point of a meeke ſpirit indeed. And this is a ſpirit of Gods own framing, even His, to whom theſe two things do of right belong; To ſubdu… iniquitie, and pardon ſinne. Marke it;
The Lord, He it is, who ſubdueth every diſtemper of the ſoul, which vexeth there; and pardons all the iniquity tMicah. 7. 18, 19.therefrom, caſting it, as into the bottome of the Sea; therefore to Him we muſt ſeeke. I conclude with the wiſe mans leſſons vProv. 16. 23. 24. Verſe 32.. The heart of the wiſe teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. Pleaſant words are as an honey-combe, ſweet to the ſoule, and health to the bones. He that is ſlow to anger is betterthen the mightie; and he that ruleth his ſpirit, then he that taketh a citie.
I know, That, before I came off from this point, I ſhould have ſpoken more concerning the tongue, and the government thereof. But the ſubject is ſo large, and … largely handled; That we cannot ſay a little of it.
It is, me thinks, obſerveable; That he, who wrote a booke thereof, was a whole yeare (ſo himſelfe ſaith) bethinkingDrexelius. himſelfe, what to call his booke, which (if I remember) he was ten yeares in compoſing. At the length he intituled his booke Phaeton, and we know what is faigned of him, as we do know, what was the originall of that fiction: But the Title fits very well, and the Spirit gives good warrant to it; For the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquitie xJam. 3. 6.; it defileth the whole body, and ſetteth on fire the courſe of nature, and is ſet on fire of hell. Great cauſe to look unto it, & to guard it well (as nature teacheth us) with all our care.
But he that can maſter his paſſion, and this maſter paſſion, can maſter his tongue alſo, that is ſuppoſed: For the tongue (as we heard) is but angers firſt weapon; And if we can binde the ſtrong-man, we can ſpoile him of his weapons, that's out of queſtion, for it is firſt done. I will ſay but this then (for I have ſpoken to it before in the firſt part) It is the wiſdome of a man to ſee himſelfe ſpeake; That is, well firſt to obſerve the way his tongue is travelling in, That he may be ſure and certaine, that the way is ſafe. Remembring ſtill (what was ſaid too) That a man hath falne more1. …. dangerouſly by his tongue, then he hath by his foot.