A Childs Patrimony, Part 1 · Chapter 1
CHAP. I. Wherein the Parents dutie doth conſiſt, and when it begins. Of Infancy.
A Parents dutie begins where the childe had its beginning, at the wombe. There the Parents ſhall finde that, which muſt buſie their thoughts about it, before they can imploy their hands. And this work lyeth ſpecially, in conſidering Gods worke upon the childe; and how their ſinne hath defaced the ſame. Firſt, they conſider Gods worke, and the operation of His hands, how wonderfull it is, and how curiouſly wrought in the ſecret parts of the earth (ſo the Prophet calls the Wombe; becauſePſal. 137. curious pieces are firſt wrought privately, then being perfected, are expoſed to open view). It was He, that made the bones to grow, we know not how, then clothed them with fleſh; He, that in the appointed time, brought it to the wombe, and gave ſtrength to bring forth. Here they acknowledge an omnipotent hand full of power towards them, and as full of grace, and they doe returne glory and praiſe both; But here it ceaſeth not. Now they have their burden in their armes, they ſee further matter of praiſe yet, in that they ſee the childe in its right frame and feature, not deformed or maimed. Some have ſeene their childe ſo, that they had little joy to looke upon it; but, through Gods gracious diſpenſation, it is not ſo, and for this they are thankfull; And upon this conſideration, they will never mocke or diſdaine (nor ſuffer any they have in charge ſo to do, a thing too many do) any poore deformed creature, in whom God hath doubly impaired His Image. This they dare not do, for it might have been their caſe, as it was their deſert. Deformitie, where ever we ſee it, admits of nothing but our Pitie and our Praiſe.
2. Thus they ſee Gods handy-worke, and it is wonderfull in their eyes; but ſtill they ſee their owne Image alſo, and cauſe enough to bewaile the uncleanneſſe of their Birth. What the Phariſees once ſpake of him, whoſe eyes Chriſt had opened, is true of every mothers Childe; Thou waſt altogether borne in ſinnes; which ſhouldJoh. 9. 34. make every Parent to cry out, as that mother did; Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou ſonne of David; my Childe is naturallyMatth. 15. 22. Joh. 3. the childe of wrath; Except it be borne againe of water and of the ſpirit, it cannot enter into the kingdome of God. The Parents ſee evidently now, that they are the channell conveying death unto the childe. The mother is ſeparated for ſome time, that ſhee may ſet her thoughts apart, and fixe them here: The father is in the ſame bond with her, and in this we may not ſeparate them. God hath made promiſe to reſtore this loſt Image, this, not tooke, but throwne▪ away integritie: And this now their thoughts run upon, and they pray; That the Lord would open their mouthes wide, and enlarge their hearts towards this ſo great a Myſterie. They have a fruit of an old ſtocke, it muſt be tranſplanted, and out they carry it, and into the Church they beare it; as out of old Adam, whence was tranſmitted to it ſinne and death, into the ſecond Adam, whence it may receive Righteouſneſſe and Life. Then at the fountaine they hold it, bleſſing God, Who hath opened it for ſinne, and for uncleanneſſe; And there they preſent it, not to the ſigne of the Croſſe, but to Blood, Sacramentally there; that is, Righteouſneſſe purchaſed by the death of Chriſt, and now on Gods part appropriated, and made the childes. And the Parents bleſſe His name, and exalt His mercy, who hath ſaid, at ſuch a time, as this, Live, Who hath found outEzek. 16. 6. a Ranſome to anſwer ſuch a guilt; A righteouſneſſe to cover ſuch a ſinne, ſo big and ſo fruitfull; A life to ſwallow up ſuch a death, with all its iſſues.
This the Parent ſees in this poore element Water, appointed by God, ſet apart, fitted and ſanctified for this end. With it the childe is ſprinkled, and for it the Parent beleeves and promiſeth. Then home againe they carry it, It is a ſolemne time, and to be remembred; and the vaine pompe takes not up much time, where wiſer thoughts, from truer judgement, take place. Friends may come, and a decency muſt be, to our place ſutable; but the Pageant▪ like carriage of this ſolemne buſineſſe by ſome, ſpeaks out plainly,foreign, A fancie. Act. 25. 23. that the heart is not right, nor is that vaine pompe forſaken, which yet is now upon their lips to ſay. They, who have better learned Chriſt, do better underſtand the nature and ſolemnitie of the action, they are about; ſo their great buſineſſe is with God, before whom they ſpread themſelves, and their childe; Who can worke by meanes, as ſecret, as is the way of the ſpirit; and can ſet this water cloſer to the ſoule, then He hath ſet its bones; which yet no man underſtandeth, nor can tell when or how. To Him they offer it, before Him they lay it, praying, That this water may ever lye upon the heart of theirs, as a fruitfull ſeed, quickning, renewing, ſanctifying. That that water may, as the Rocke, ever1 Cor. 10. 4. follow the childe. The rocke removed not, but the waters, there-out followed them: ſo the Parents pray, That this water may ever follow the childe, as a freſh ſpring, ſtill quickening, waſhing, refreſhing, untill the day of refreſhing ſhall come. This is their dutie now, and this is all they can do (beſide the tending of it); and this their dutie, and their life muſt end together. Now the childe lyes at the mothers breaſt, or in the lap, ſhe is the nurſe without queſtion, or ſo ſhe ſhould be, though it is a reſolved caſe, that in ſome caſes, ſhe cannot, and in ſome ſhe may not; mercy muſt be regarded before this ſacrifice. But looke we ſtill, That mercy be not the pretence and eaſe the thing, that is pleaded for; that alters the caſe very much, and will not prove a ſufficient excuſe, wherewith to put off ſo bounden a dutie. The *Aul. Gel. lib. 12. cap. 1. Macrob. lib. 5. cap. 11. Eraſm. puerp.Heathen have ſpoke enough to this point, and more then all the Chriſtians in the world can anſwer; for the deſerting and putting off (unleſſe in the caſes before pointed at) this ſo naturall and engaged a ſervice. At the mothers breaſt then, we ſuppoſe the childe is, and the eyes are open, abroad it looks, nothing delights it, they ſhut againe, as if it would tell the Parent, what they ſhould be now, and it ſelfe hereafter, both crucified to the world, and the world to them.
3. The childe is yet ſo little, that here is little for the father to do yet; All that is, and it is no little worke, is in his cloſet. But beſides that (for it is the mothers worke too) here is work for the mother enough. It muſt be tended though it ſleepe, much more when it is awake. And here is the obſervation; It is hard to ſay, which is more, the mothers tenderneſſe, or the childes frowardneſſe, and yet how they agree, how they kiſſe one the other: as if the parent were delighted with it. It is an affection ſomewhat above nature, implanted for the preſervation of man (ſo the Heathen could ſay) by the God of mercy, otherwiſe it might not be ſo; for the more froward it is, the more ſhe tenders the little thing. And it much encreaſeth the childes ſcore, which he can never pay. The Parent, and the childe, can never cut ſcores, or ſtrike tallies: for they will never lye even.
4. Infancy, is a dreame (we ſay), The moſt part of it is ſpent in the cradle, and at the breaſt, the remainder in dreſſing and undreſſing; Little can be ſaid to it; And yet ſomething may be done, even the firſt two yeers, for the framing of the body (as Nurſes know beſt, but ſomething it is) and the faſhioning of the minde too; and the younger it is, with the better ſucceſſe. I have read of a great Conquerour, yet not ſo great, as that he could overcome his paſſions, or an ill cuſtome, (it is a ſecond nature) he learnt an unbeſeeming geſture at the breſt, and ſhewed it on his throne. If I remember, his Nurſe was blamed for it, for ſhe might have remedied it, while the parts were tender.
Some-thing may be done alſo for the faſhioning of the minde, and preventing of evill. It is much what they, who are below Chriſtians have ſpoken and practiſed this way, which I paſſe over. Note we; The firſt tincture, and dye hath a very great power beyond ordinary conceit, or my expreſſion. And therefore obſerve well, what they do, who are about this childe not yet three yeers old, and what the childe doth. It may ſoone learne ſome evill, and that evill may grow paſt helping quickly. Looke to the eye and eare, all goes indifferently in, as well as at the Mouth; and you ſhall ſmell the Caske preſently, juſt what the liquor was. Keep the inward and hid-man, as you ſhould do the outward, neat and free from contagion and corruption; as young as it is, it may receive a bad tincture, and that entreth eaſily now, which will not depart without difficultie.
5. I have heard a childe ſweare, before he could creepe;Qui jurat cum repit, quid no… adultus faciet? Quin. Aug. Confeſſ. lib. cap. 7. hereupon the heathen man hath asked, what will ſuch an one do, when it is grown up? I have ſeene a childe threaten, yet it could not ſtrike, and ſcratch, before it could hurt; and pale with anger (it was Auguſtines obſervation) becauſe another did partake of its milke. And this corruption, which ſo ſoone will ſhew it ſelf, is ſtrangely furthered by a fooliſh practiſe; Give me a blow, childe, and I will beat what hath offended. This teacheth revenge betime, that daring and preſumptuous ſinne, for it diſthrones God, and puts the law out of office. I ſay, that practiſe leades unto it, as we might eaſily obſerve, if we would obſerve any thing. Many thinke that the Time is not yet; it is yet too ſoone to be ſo watchfull over the childe; But by this neglect and putting off, we ſuffer matter of trouble to be prepared. We neglect not a ſparke becauſe it is little, but we conſider how high it flies, and how apt things about it are to take fire. There is noLord Verul. Eſſayes 21. 125. greater wiſedome (ſaid that great Scholler) then well to Time the Beginnings and on-ſets of things. Dangers are no more light, if they once ſeeme light. Our dutie is to looke to ſmall things, they leade to great. Is cuſtome no ſmall matter? ſaid one, who was ſhort of a Chriſtian. Shorten the childe in its deſires now; ſpecially, if it be haſty, and cry, and will have it. Then, ſay ſome, the childe muſt have it; ſay I, no, but now it ſhould not. Shorten it here, and the rather, becauſe it cryes: if he have it, give him it when it is ſtill and quiet, Correction rather, when it cryes. Let it not have its will by froward meanes; Let it learne and finde, that they are unprofitable, and bootleſſe. A childe is all for the preſent, but a Parents wiſedome is to teach it to waite; Much depends on it, thereby a Parent may prevent eagerneſſe, and ſhortneſſe of ſpirit, which elſe will grow up with the childe, and prove a dangerous and tormenting evill.
We ſhall helpe this hereafter, and ſoone enough ſay ſome; Let the childe have its will now, it is but a childe. And be it ſo, but that is the way to have a childe of it as long as it liveth, As Sr. Thomas More ſaid to his Lady, after his manner, wittily, but truely. They might as well ſay, they will bend the childe hereafter, when it is as ſtiffe as a ſtake, though they neglect it at the preſent, when it is as tender as a Sprig. I will tell my obſervation; I have knowne ſome children, who might not be ſhortned, leaſt it ſhould ſhorten their growth; what they would have, they ſhould have, for they were but children; theſe have lived to ſhorten their Parents dayes, and their own, and to fill all with ſorrow: for afterwards, they would not be ſhortned, becauſe they were not while they might. aSiquid moves à principio move. Hip.Hippocrates hath a good leſſon and of good uſe here; If thou wouldſt remove an evill, do it at the beginning. As the ſpring of nature, I meane, (ſaith the* Conſiderations touching the Church. Lord Ver. applying it to the rectifying the politick body) the ſpring of the yeere is the beſt time, for purging and medicining naturall bodies; ſo is the firſt ſpring of Child-hood the moſt proper ſeaſon for the purging and rectifying our Children.
To come then to the maine inſtruction I intend here, which is this; As we obſerve Adams ruines, appearing betimes in the childe, ſo muſt we be as timely in the building againſt theſe ruines, and repairing thereof. It is a great point of wiſedome, as was ſaid, well to time our beginnings; And this a parent will do, if he ſhew but the ſame care about his childe, as he doth about his houſe or ground; if he obſerveth the leaſt ſwelling or cracke in his wall, or breach in his fence about his ground, he is ſpeedy and quicke in repaire thereof; for it gaines him time, and ſaves him a great deale of coſt and labour both. That may be done with a penny to day, that will not hereafter with an hundred pound; And that now mended in a day, which will not hereafter in a yeere; And that in a yeere, which will not be done in our time: So King IAMES, ſo famous for his ſayings, preſſed the ſpeedy repaire of breaches in highwayes.
We cannot borrow a ſpeech that is more full, I meane, we cannot take a metaphor that is fitter to preſſe home this dutie; it is low, and deſcendeth to the loweſt capacitie, and teacheth the Parent to be quicke and expedite in repairing the ruines of old Adam in his young Childe; for, though it ſeemes as a frame but newly reared, yet, unlike other buildings, it preſently falls to decay; and if our eyes and hands be as preſent to repaire the decayes thereof (which is our dutie) it would ſave us much time, coſt and labour. Faults may be as eaſily corrected at the firſt, as a twig may be bent; but if they grow, as the body doth, they will be tough and ſtiffe, as the body is, they will knit and incorporate, as the bones do; and what is bred in the bone, will not eaſily outSee Camerar. chap. 16. of the fleſh, as that ſturdy beggar ſaid; A neglect toward the child now, tends to ſuch a deſolation hereafter, as the Prophet ſpeaketh of; Thy breach is great like the Sea, who Lam. 2. 23.canheale thee?
There is nothing works more miſchiefe and ſorrow to a man (I give my pen the more ſcope here, becauſe parents give and take ſo much libertie) then doth that, which he mindeth leaſt to prevent, and that is the beginnings and firſt growth of evill. There are little Motions thereof at the firſt, but they grow, as Rivers do, greater and greater, the further off from the ſpring. The firſt riſings are the more to be looked unto, becauſe there is moſt danger in them, and we have leaſt care over them, though yet they will quickly over-caſt the ſoule. Therefore that we do at the beginning, Dimidium ſacti, qui b…ne coepit, …abet.is more then halfe we do afterwards, ſaith the Poet, and he ſpeaks not without great reaſon: ſo forcible continually is the beginning, and ſo connexed to the ſequel by the nature of a precedent cauſe. The Biſhop hath a good meditation▪ upon the ſight of a bladder; Every thing muſt be taken in his meet time; Let this bladder alone till it be dry, and all the winde in the world cannot raiſe it up, whereas, now itMeditat. 106. is new and moiſt, the leaſt breath fills, and enlarges it; It is no otherwiſe in ages, and diſpoſitions; Informe the childe in precepts of learning and vertue, while yeeres make him capable, how plyably he yeeldeth! how happily is he repleniſhed with knowledge, and goodneſſe▪ Let him alone till time and ill example, have hardened him, till he be ſetled in an habite of evill, and contracted and clung together with ſenſuall delights, now he becomes utterly indocible; ſooner may that bladder be broken then diſtended.
Quintilians firſt Chapter ſhall put a cloſe to this; It is very uſefull all, and tends to this purpoſe. If we looke to reape comfort from our children, we muſt lay the ground-worke of vertue and religion betimes in them, while as yet they are without any tainture at all. We mould and faſhion the mould of the head then, when it is ſofteſt: ſo muſt we the mould of the heart and affections. This is the ſumme of that Chapter; The concluſion is. We are curious what we put into a new veſſell, and what mould we lay about a young plant, for the weakeſt Termes, and TimesSee Advanc. lib. 1 p. 25. of all things uſe to have the beſt applications and helps.
And ſo much may teach us what infancy is, and that thoſe innocent yeers (as ſome have called them) are not innocent;Min felix. p. 1. verſ. 20. in fol. vide Com. They do ſhew forth many ill and peccant humours lurking within, like poyſon in a chilled *Non deſunt ei venena, ſed torpent. Sen.ſerpent, which muſt be looked unto betimes by keeping our eyes wakefull over the firſt three and foure yeeres. An allowance of yeeres large enough for that Age, yet ſome have allowed more, following the notation of the word, becauſe ſo long it is, and ſometime longer, before the childe can ſpeake articulately, and ſo as it may be underſtood. Though we be not ſo exact in obſerving our diſtinct periods, it matters not, if we can time our beginnings.