Abuses Stripped and Whipped, Book · Poem 2
AN INTRODVCTION.
COme then Inuention, and call Iudgement in,
Knowledge, and Reason, fie where hauehave you bin?
Goe whistle off my Muse that wanton plaies,
With Epigrams, LoueLove-Sonnets, Roundelaies,
And such like trifling game; Bid her come on,
I hauehave found brauer prey to seaze vppon.
…ome new inspiring prayer warmes my heart,
And addes fresh courage vntounto eueryevery part:
New blood hath fild vp all my louelove-dri'd veines,
… sacred Fury hath possest my braines.
And something too there is that swels my breast,
…il that be vtter'd I expect no rest;
For full with matter like a Sibill Nun,
I shall grow furious till this taske be done.
Then rouse thee Muse each little Hobby plies,
At Scarabes and painted Butterflies:
Leaue thou such trash, it is not now for vsus,
To flye for pleasure; weele in earnest trusse,
But thou lookst dull; vnfit for lofty things,
Thy wanton flight I feare hath tir' de thy wings,
Least therefore thou should'st faint, forsake th…efist,
And turne thy selfe into a Satyrist;
Not of the roughest, nor the mildestsort,
Be most in earnest, but sometimes in sport,
What e're thou find to speake be not affrayd,
And for assistance craue Iehouahs ayd.
Vse all thy art, for why, thou must vnfold,
The strangest Nature that was euer told:
At ripping vp whereof some smart will be,
Yet goe thou foreward still, who dares touch thee?
Diue if thou canst, til thou the bottome sound,
Yet not too farre least thou thy selfe confound;
Mistake me not, I meane not thou shouldst goe,
To search th' earths center what lies hid below,
Or vndermine it for ritch Mineralls
Thou shalt not hauehave to do with Vegetalls,
Strange natures hauehave both Stones, Trees, Herbes, and Plants,
Which let him speake of that a Subiect wants,
There is an Herb indeeed whose vertues such,
It in the pasture only with a touch,
Vnshooes the new-shod steed: within the North,
The Scottish Iles cald Oreades brings forth
Trees, (or else writers faine it) from whose seeds,
A certaine kind of water-foule proceeds.
The Loadstone also drawes the steele vntounto it,
Yet hath not ginne or instrument to doe it,
Rare properties you see, but neither these
Nor what lies hidden in the vast wide Seas
Meane I to speake off; I no knowledge hauehave,
What Monsters play with Neptunes boistrous waue,
Nor quality of birds, nor beasts I found;
For why their natures may be quickly found,
Indeed we may by little inquisition,
Find out the bruitish creatures true condition,
As for example we for certaine know,
The Elephant much louelove to man wil show.
The Tygers, Woolues, and Lyons we do find,
Are rauenous, fierce and cruell euen by kind,
We know at caryon we shal find the crowes,
And that the roost-cock whē tis mid night knowes:
By a few dayes experience we may see,
Whether the mastife, curst or gentle be;
And many other natures we find out,
Of which we hauehave no cause at all to doubt,
But theres another Creature called Man,
Note him who wil, and tel me if he can,
What his condition is; obserue his deeds,
His speach, his rayment. yea and how hee feedes
Try him a month, a yeare, an age, and when
You hauehave so tride him; say, what is he then?
Retaines he either vntounto Praester Iohn,
Or else vntounto the whore of Babilon:
If that you know not which of them to grant,
Is he a Brownist or a Protestant?
If in an Age you cannot find out wheither
Are you so much as sure that he is either?
Is his heart proud or humble? know you where
Or when, he hates, or loues, or standes in feare?
Or who can say (in Conscience I think none)
That this mans words, and deeds, & thoughts are one?
Where shall you him so well resolued find,
That wants a wandring and a wauering mind?
Nay he of whom you hauehave most triall, when
You see him dying, will you trust him then?
Perhaps you may; yet questionlesse he leaues you,
A mind misdoubting still that he deceiues you.
And no great wonder; for hees such an else,
That euer is vncertaine of himselfe.
He is not semper idem in his will,
Nor stands on this or that opinion still,
But varies; he both will and wil not too,
Yea euen the thing he thinkes and sweares to doe
He many times omits. Now God forgiue him,
I wonder how another should beleeue him.
But this same diuers and inconstant creature,
That so contrary is in his owne nature,
'Tis him my new-inspired Muse here tries,
Whilst he is liuing to Anotomize:
Tis his abuses and condition,
(Although it be beyond all definition)
I labour to discouer: But aswell
I may againe dragge Cerberus from hell:
Alcydes toyles were much, yet this is more,
Yea if his twise-sixe, had beene twise sixe-score.
It is so infinite for to vnfold,
Although that I did speake til I were old,
Yet should I leaue vnnam'd I'me sure ee'n than,
Many a humor I hauehave seene in Man.
And yet I must needes say in him there be,
A thousand times more trickes then I can see.
Tis wonderfull, and my immagination
Is almost ouerwhelm'd with admiration;
Indeed it is, so deep's mans heart; but yet,
Since either want of yeares, or want of wit,
Or lack of worke, or lack of all, hath brought me,
To be more heedful, then a number thought me;
Since it some time and study too hath cost me,
And many a humor of mine owne hath lost me.
Since it hurts none, and since perhaps some may,
Be benefitted by 't another day,
Although it be a taske that's not alone,
Too huge for to be done by any one,
But more then al the world can well dispatch,
Yet looke what my weake memory could catch,
Ile heer relate and nothing of it spare,
Saue things vnfit, and such as neeedlesse are.
Now some will say twere fit I held my tongue,
For such a taske as this I am too young:
He ne're had dealings in the world with men,
How can he speak of their conditions then?
He cannot they conclude: strong reasons why,
Know none how market goes but such as buy?
We see it happens that a shifting Knaue,
A sly deceitfull Connicatching slaue,
Playing at Cards with some vnskilfull gull,
Whose purse is lin'd with Crownes and penniful,
May put a nimble feat for to deceiue;
Which though a cunning gamester nere perceiue,
He peraduenture may the same descry,
That is no player but a stander by:
So I aloofe may view, without suspition,
Mens idle humours and their weake condition:
Plainer perhaps then many that hauehave seene,
More daies & on th' earths stage hauehave Actors been.
And tis no maruaile, for employment takes them,
Quite from themselues, and so dim-sighted makes them
They cannot see the fooleries they doe,
Nor what ill passions they are subiect to:
Then who er'e carpe, the course I hauehave begunne,
In spight of them I wil (God helping) runne:
And least th' exordium hath too tedious bin,
My Obseruations loe I now begin.