Ceremonies of the Monstrous Popish Mass, Part 2 · Chapter 3
In what ſort the Pſalmes are to be recited, howe he muſt be barbed and trimmed, & how he muſt firſt waſh, in preparing him ſelfe to go to Maſſe. CHAPTER III.
AFter that Sir Swibberſale is thus confeſſed & abſolued, then is he as pure and cleane of all his ſinnes, as is a filthy and ſtinking conduct pipe through which runneth water that cometh from a moſt ſtinking and vnſauerie puddle.Bern. of the offi…e of the Maſſe. Nicolas de Plot. Frac. Sacer. de expo. Miſſ. And that he may be hereunto the better prepared, he muſt needes (according to the Romiſh guiſe) ruffle vp a long time together, immediatly at the beginning, fiue Pſalms, to wit, the LXXXIII. LXXXIIII. LXXXV. CV. CXXVIII. after the numbers of their common tranſlation. But here is the beſt of it,Linus 1. that theſe liers make Linus the Authour of this Romiſh order, whom they put in to be Peters firſt ſucceſſour. Whereupon may be iudged, by that which hath bene heretofore ſaid, what the workmen were, which hauehave put to their hande to the forging of the Maſſe, and what likelihood there is that Linus was he who ſet down this apiſh maner which hereafter we ſhall ſee, by the faſhion of the Maſſe, which ſhall be ſet downe, after the Popiſh maner: & chieflie when as there was not a Maſſe at that time in vſe. Other ſome of them make Damaſen and Ierome the Authors thereof, as hath bin alreadie ſayed. But what reaſon hauehave they to ſay, that theſe men ſhould be the Authors more then anie of the reſt. For the barking and iolye geſtes which are in this office, manifeſtlie declare of what antiquitie it may be iudged to be. Howbeit let vsus go on with the reſt, and neuer trouble our ſelues to thinke who were the authours of it,Nicolas de Plo. Frac. Sace. de expoſ. Miſſ. Duran. Rat. de off lib 4. Rub. de ca Comp. becauſe no man is able iuſtly to name them. When he hath ſaide ouer theſe Pſalmes, there is an expreſſe ordmaunce ſet downe hereupon: that the Prieſt muſt be barbed and trimmed as ſmooth as a fritter, and all the ſtragling heares of his head taken away, which might fall from it. For it were a dangerous caſe to hauehave anie of them light in the Chalice, for feare of choking the Prieſt therwith, when as he ſhould drinke the blood that is in it, as Fabius the Romaine Senator and Pretor was in drinking of a little milke,Plin. lib. 7. cap. 7. as elſewhere hath bene ſayed: and yet they neuer alleadge this reaſon for them ſelues, albeit there is a great deale more likely hoode in it then in anie that they hauehave alleadged, which reaſons, do verie well like their ſpouſe & goſſip. But who wold hauehave thought that theſe barbings & trimmings in this enterlude, had bin ſo neceſſarie inſtruments to be vſed at Maſſe? And yet forſooth they are, & grūoded vponupon eueryevery point of their teeth, and that not without iolie miſteries, and iolie miſticall ſenſes alſo, whereby is ſignified the purging of all ſuperfluite, and euill thoughtes and imaginations. For there are as manie vile thoughtes in the Prieſts head as there are haires. And therfore theſe blockheaded groomes are well worthie to hauehave their heades barbed and trimmed with a good bigge comb. And although this ordināce toucheth generally all Maſſe ſayers, yet the ſimple Prieſtes do not ſo well obſcrue the ſame in their Maſſes, as the Biſhops do:Nicolas de Plo. tract. Sacer. de expoſ Miſſ. Duran. Rat. diu. Offic. lib. 4. Rub. de ca. Comp And therfore I knowe not whether this vſe be in all places, as it is at Rome, and the places thereabout. And it may be that the ſimple Prieſts are contented to be barbed and trimmed at home, becauſe they hauehave no Barbers to furbuſhe them ſo honorably in the Church, as my Lordes the Biſhops hauehave. Now the common people do ſcarſe in deede vnderſtande, any thing of this ſecrete, and of theſe miſteries of barbing & trimming,Duran. Rat. lib. 4 de Cap. Comp. Nicol. de Plotract. Sacer. de expoſ. Miſſ. vnleſſe it be ſuch as hauehave verie narrowly looked into al the ceremonies of the Epiſcopall Maſſes. After this fine deuiſe of barbing, followeth the firſt waſhing. I call it the firſt becauſe there are three of them appointed for the Maſſe: to wit, that which is immediatly at the beginning, in the preparation of the Prieſt, at which waſhinges he eftſoones alſo waſheth his face: the ſecond is in the middeſt of the Maſſe: and the thirde and laſt, he waſheth with wine and no… with water. And therefore at that time he licketh his fingers: and ſo doth he not ot anie of the reſt, howbeit he doeth that, becauſe he had handle… the bodie and blood of his God. Wherefore, it is meete that he ſhould make them cleane, to the ende no part thereof ſhould ſticke to them. Now it is no maruell although they waſh them ſo often, conſidering they are ſo filthie, and ſo beſmeared ouer with blaſphemies.