Common Places, Part 2 · Chapter 9 · Section 1
THis woord Amicitia, In. 1. Sam. 18. verſe. 1. Of friendſhip.that is, Friendſhip, is ſo called, of Amor, that is, LoueLove: as ſaith Auguſtine againſt an epiſtle of Parmenianus, the firſt booke and firſt chapter. And this is faithfull and continuall in Chriſt onelie. It behooueth, that the bond of friendſhip be ſtedfaſt and durable. But it behooueth that there be a reconciler of friends, to lead them vntounto felicitie; and that an eternall and true felicitie: for other felicities are vncerteine and tranſitorie. Howbeit, theſe things can no man performe, but Chriſt. Now let vsus ſée, what is properlie, To louelove. Ariſtotle ſaith, that, To louelove, is, To will well, The definition of louelove.and (if thou canſt) to doo well vntounto anie man for his ſake, not for thine owne. This definition, although it may ſéeme probable, yet muſt it be amended: for we ought to will well to no man for his owne ſake, but for Gods. But the philoſophers ſtaied vponupon the ſecond cauſes: as if ſo be that they ſawe a man godlie and good, they ſaid that he ought to be beloued for his owne ſake. But it behooueth vsus to aſcend higher, and to place the cauſes of things in God. A definition of friendſhip.Cicero defineth friendſhip to be an agréement of diuine and humane things, through good will and charitie. But Ariſtotle in his Ethiks ſpeaketh ſomewhat more diſtinctlie: for he ſaith, that friendſhip is a goodwill. But it happeneth oftentimes, that ſome man loueth an vngratefull perſon, and is not loued againe: and for that cauſe, he addeth, Mutuall. Howbeit, ſome men doo mutuallie louelove one an other, who neuertheleſſe knowe not that they are mutuallie loued againe. Wherefore it behooueth, that either of them doo reueale their friendſhip one to an other.
Furthermore it is requiſite, The ends of true and falſe friendſhip.that this goodwill be ſtirred vp in reſpect of ſome good thing. For we doo not louelove, without it be for ſome certeine cauſe: and the good things are referred either vntounto profit, or vntounto pleaſure, or vntounto honeſtie. But they which are induced to louelove, either of pleaſure, or of profit; they louelove vnaduiſedlie, and accidentallie. For if the cauſe of pleaſure, or of gaine, ſhould ceaſe; the friendſhip would ſtraitwaie be looſed. But the friendſhip, which vertue hath ioined togither, is ſtedfaſt, & neuer diſſolued: for vertue is an habit gotten by long cuſtome, which cannot be remooued. Such a conſtant amitie was betwéen Dauid and Ionathas. Seneca, A reprehenſion of Epicurus.in his ninth epiſtle vntounto Lucillus reprooueth Epicurus; bicauſe he had ſaid, that A friend muſt be ſought, to the intent that if thou hauehave néed, thou maiſt hauehave one to helpe thée; if thou be ſicke, thou maiſt hauehave one to ſit by thée. For a far more ſwéet friendſhip is it (ſaith Seneca) which dooth helpe another, than that which is holpen of another. Wherefore (ſaith he) a friend muſt be ſought, that thou maiſt hauehave whom to help, & whom to ſit by, if thou be ſicke. For Apelles (ſaith he) and Praxiteles tooke greater pleaſure of their owne works, when they were working them, and had them in hand; than afterward, when they had them made and finiſhed in their chamber: euen ſo a true friend is more delited, if he himſelfe doo anie good turne to another, than if he receiue a benefit of another. So did Ionathas not refuſe anie danger that was to be taken in hand for Dauids ſake. Saule alſo loued Dauid, but far otherwiſe than did Ionathas. Neither vndoubtedlie did Ionathas louelove Dauid onelie in reſpect of that generall commandement; Dauid loued Ionathas not in reſpect of the generall commandement onlie.Thou ſhalt louelove thy neighbour as thy ſelfe: but bicauſe of that notable indeuour, which he found in him towards the Common-weale and godlineſſe. Further, he ſawe that the kingdome ſhould be plucked awaie from Saule, and be giuen to one better than he: and he ſuſpected, that the ſame other man ſhould be Dauid, as we may gather by the hiſtorie. Yet did he louelove him ſo feruentlie, as he did not for this cauſe hate him anie thing at all.