Christian Observations and Resolutions, Treatise

Christian Observations and Resolutions · Treatise

p. 1A RESOLVTION FOR DEATH, written vnderunder the sentence of Death, in the time of a painfull Disease. ^{Decemb. 1627.}

And now published for their comfort who studie to approue themselues to God:

1WHY should I feare Death when it approacheth? It is the way that I desire to goe; I passe Natures necessitie in Adam that hath subjected me to mortalitie, & come to the priuiledge of Grace in Christ, which hath deliuered mee from the curse of it; I say not I make mee for Death, because I must die, but because p. 2I would die: Long hauehave I thought on it, and earnestlie longed for it; if I stagger and feare at his reproach, my desire hath either beene foolish, or my Spirit is faint.

The grounds of my desire are 1. Present miserie. 22. Next future Glorie, 33. And the worke of God in mee, concerning them both. My Miseries are great in the weaknes of a mortall body, a lumppe of earth, busying it selfe and mee about it selfe: For Eating, & Drinking, and Clothing, and Resting, it spendeth the Tyme, and it selfe, and wearieth the Spirit.

Fraile is this lump that hath an hourelie necessitie of so fraile things, and the necessitie so great, that the paine of it is intolerable, & the easing of it by meanes conuenient is wearisome, and that ease beginning with ending, and ending in the beginning: Scarcelie is it refreshed, when it hungreth and wearieth againe.

One necessitie sendeth it to another, and the satisfying of one bringeth on another, p. 3and that same that was now eased, returneth shortlie. If I satisfie Hunger and Thirst. Drowsinesse calleth for Sleepe; if I refresh it by Sleepe, Nakednesse must bee couered, and scarce hauehave I couered Nakednesse, when new Hunger calleth for Refreshment, and Refreshment sendeth me to Sleepe againe.

Weake is that Life, that needeth so weake meanes, Clay layed to Clay, Dust vntounto Dust, and the shaddow of Death a refreshment of wearines. Our nourishment is but dust, and our sleepe an image of Death, and Death in end must dissolue that dust that standeth vponupon so base pillers, and is so oft wrapped vp in the image of it.

Though the first worke of our nourishment, bee to susteene the bodie in life, yet in a second worke it furnisheth matter of diseases, and so of Death: And though our Sleepe in it selfe refresh vsus, yet it is a presage and an earnest of a longer sleepe in Death.

If Sicknesse fasten on the Body, for p. 4remeede thereof, I take on another disease: Medicine is indeede a gift of God, a necessitie to Nature, an enemie to the corruption of it, and ha…sh and vnpleasant to the integritie of it; yet when I render my selfe to it, I embrace a lesser Death for avoyding a greater: One dolour is a remeede to another dolour. And all is but an off-putting for a time. Mortalitie is so seased in the bodie that our life is stollen through innumerable diseases and deathes, and in end a yeelding to Death. This is the miserie of a mortall bodie in the circle of daylie and vnavoydable necessities, and at last in despite of all their supplies a necessitie of Death.

4The Soule is more burdensome in this lumpish bodie, rent asunder with corruption and passions, their distresses more oppressing it, than these paines did the bodie: It is now forced with temptation, if it bee strenthened, it is in danger of pride for deliuerie: The remeede of one temptation is turned p. 5in the matter of a worse: The naturall powers in their worke doe trouble it, the Imaginatiō runneth out in phansies, the Mind in inquiring is vexed and tortured by scruples: The Will in inclyning, declining, and suspending, is not so much delighted with good, as crossed with the euill object, and that work of it is a toyle to it selfe, and to vsus: The Affections sette contrare, Feare, Sorrow, Hatred, tormenting, vsus; and Hope, Ioy, and LoueLove, busying vsus more in their object suspended, remoued, hurt, or destroyed, than they doe in the enjoying of it: Neuer any of these sweete affections in vsus, alone but their cōtrare is fixed on them, while wee are in hope or joye, and enjoying of God, wee feare to lose that joye, and sorrow commeth in with that feare.

But the torment of temptatiō is intolerable, that Satan doth so far preuaile in vsus as to stir vp our inbred cor…uptiō, & that our corruption doth yeeld to him, & we our selues in a perpetuall trouble either p. 6watching ouer temptions that they surprise vsus not, or resisting them when they are moued, or repenting for them, when they hauehave preuailed to our insnaring. And the Conscience aboue all sette on a continuall worke, to direct vsus aright in all our wayes, to try our obedience to her direction, and if wee hauehave failed to torment vsus in our arriegning before Gods Tribunall, and the feare and sense of his wrath to come.

How can I either delight to dwell in this Bodie, or carrie about so grieuous a burden as this? A vile prison, an hole of Serpents, and Co…katrices: A body of earth, and a bodie of sinne, and death in it, a masse of corruption, euer stirred of Sathan, and breaking out of it selfe: Heere is a burthen insupportable, a labour without end. The sense of it selfe is enough to the sensible Soule, to mourne for abyding in it, and to cry, VVoe is mee that I abide so long in Mesech, or dwell in the tents of Kedar, And miserable man that I am, who shall deliuer mee p. 7from this bodie of Death.

It is impossible that perfect happinesse can lodge in so miserable a creature: It craueth a Soule and bodie perfect and free of all euill, therefore I must bee dissolued ere I bee perfected, the Soule purified in God from all sinfulnesse, and the bodie refined in the earth from all frailtie; and so the whole man freed of all miserie: Though fleshly Selfe-louelove sometimes blind mee, to desire to abide in this body, yet a bett…r louelove of my selfe in GOD, biddeth mee, desire to bee dissolued, that I may bee perfected. The greater light, the greater libertie in visiting these Mansions in Heauen and adoring my God, who hath prepared them for mee: The greater libertie, the gearter desire to bee out of this bodie, wherein so long as I dwell▪ I am absent from God, and these Mansions where I long to enjoy him: This is the miserie of a sinfull Soule.

5And though our So…le had peace, & our bodie constant health, yet our Lot p. 8is vnderunder continuall changes. Our Husband and Wife, Parents and Children, Friendes and Familiars, are subject to Sicknesse and Death: Our name is subject to Infamie and Calumnies: Our goods layed open to mans deceit or violence, and to Gods most free and just Providence. They are either with holden from vsus, or taken from vsus, or if they remaine with vsus, they decay. So wee are either chastened with a simple want of them, or a losse, or a change.

Our Lotte in it selfe, is a blessing of God, but this change and decay is a matter of griefe and feare: As though God did augment our Lot for this end, to augment the marke for his Arrowes, and the matter of our griefe.

There is nothing whereof wee can say, that either wee shall hauehave it long, or in that same state wherein it is now. It is either subject to want in measure, or change in standing: There is none houre, wherein we are not either vnderunder a sorrowfull remembrance of bygone p. 9Calamities, or vnderunder sense of some present; or vnderunder a fearefull foresight of Calamities to come. This is the miserie of a changeable Lotte.

All these miseries God hath layed vponupon man, to humble him thereby, Ecclesi. 1. 13. and to make him wearie of this present life. For man that is borne of a woman is of a short continuance, and full of trouble. Iob. 14. 1. Hee is borne to trouble, as sparkes flee vpward. Iob. 5. 7. If wee found full and constant prosperitie heere, wee would desire to remaine in this life. There is neither necessitie nor desire of a better life in them who find all things according to their heart in this life: But God hath so tempered the Cup to his dearest Children, that it hath more gall and worme-wood than honie, and more sowre than sweete.

Our life is short in it selfe, and made shorter by grieuous Calamities: If wee count onlie that tyme for our life, wherin we hauehave beene free of Feare, of Sense, or memorie of euill, it will bee shorter p. 10than the naturall course of life, if all bee well examined; scarcelie shall the best liuing finde so many peaceable houres, as his naturall life hath dayes.

God knoweth that naturallie wee are giuen to nest in the world as birds: To roote in it as Trees, & sit fast in it as Rockes. Therefore hee changeth our Lotte, and crosseth our contentment, that hee may both loose vsus and keepe vsus loose from the Earth.

6But for all these miseries in this life, God hath prepared a remeede: Our life in Heauen shall relieue vsus of them all. There shall bee no tempter nor temptation without, nor corruption within: 7No passion nor perturbation for any occurrent: There shall bee none ignorance nor errour to leade vsus wrong: No perplexitie, or feare, or sorrow, neither any thing that may trouble the peace or joy of the heart.

The Soule shall see God immediatelie, and perfectlie, and bee filled with louelove and heauenly affection, with that p. 11sight, it shall enjoy God, and rejoyce in that perfect enjoying, and rest as in the desired end in a a glorious Peace. This is the happinesse of a glorified Spirit.

8This fraile bodie shall bee no more mortall, but cloathed with immortalitie: It shall bee no more grosse and earthlie, but spirituall and pure: No more lumpish and heauie, but light and nimble as the Eagle in her flight: No more darke and obscure, but shining in glorie, as the Heauen and Starres: No sicknesse & death, but a continuall and constant health: There shall be no need of meate to sustaine it, or of Physick to restore our hurt health, but all necessities remoued: As they shall bee cleare as the Heauen, so more enduring than the Heauē according to the Body of Christ, who shall change our vile bodies, and make them conforme to his glorious Bodie. Phillipp. 3. 21. This is the happinesse of a glorious Bodie.

9Our Lotte shall bee then secured, because it is all in God, and is God himselfe: p. 12There shall neither be lack of any conuenient good, no sorrow for losses, no feare of change, and decay of our estate: No Theefe shall be there to steale, no Cousner to deceiue, no tyrrant to oppresse. God who hath blessed vsus with it, shall maintaine our Lotte, and that in a place most secure from violence or changes. Vanitie and changes are only vnderunder the Heauen, but aboue it, there is no change at all. This is the happines of an vnchangeable Lot: Then all things shall agree well: A glorious person, invested in a glorious estate, a glorious place, and that eternallie.

10Thy worke in me about these things, is wonderfull, O LORD, thou hast not suffered mee to bee a stranger, either in the miseries of this life, or in the joyes of Heauen: 11Thou knowest that feeling is more forcible, than speculation, and Experience more strong than consideration, and therefore hast acquainted mee with them.

Oft-ten hauehave I found the frailtie of p. 13my bodie, but now more than euer, for now my reines are full of burning, & there is nothing sound in my flesh. I am weakned and sore broken, I roare for the verie griefe of mine heart. Lord, I powre my whole desire before thee, and my sighing is not hid from thee. Mine heart panteth, and my strength faileth mee, and the light of mine eyes, euen they are not mine owne. Psal. 38. 7. 8. 9. 10. Painefull nights hauehave beene appointed vntounto mee. If I layed mee downe, I saide, VVhen shall I arise? and measuring the Euening, I am full of tossings till the dawning of the day. VVhen I say, My Couch shall relieue mee, and my bed shall bring comfort in my meditation. Then fearest thou mee with Dreames, and astonishest mee with visions Iob. 7. v. 3. 4. 13 14. The sorrowes of the Graue doe compasse mee about, and the snares of Death ouertake mee. Psal. 18. 5.

12As for my Spirit, I hauehave found therein great exercise all my life-time. Satan euer lying in wait to enter by his allurements & my corruption readie to yeelde p. 14to him: My Conscience at her best, watcheth ouer Sathan to marke his machinations, and ouer my corruption that it yeelde not: And when I fall, checking mee till I repent.

Since I knew thee, O Lord, and the power of thy Grace, I hauehave beene rent by a continuall striuing. 1. My passions fighting against other. 2. My passions against my reason. 3. And my Conscience against them all. I know all these discords may be in the naturall man, yet are they stronger in the renewed man, because of greater light discouering▪ and Sathans more bitter persute: And the tendernesse of Grace, impatient of sin. 4. And aboue them all, the battell betweene the flesh and the Spirit, euerie one of them lusting against another.

This hath beene mine exercise since I renounced the world: Because these three Childrē, Faith Hope, & LoueLove, doe not worship the image of Popularitie, & Vanitie, that is adored by the world: Therefore, Sathan held them in the furnace, p. 15and heateth it seuen folde, both in the worlds reuenging humour, an… in the rage of my curbed corruption, breaking out in passions.

13As for the Lot wherewith thou hast blessed mee, I hauehave beene continuallie exercised in it: Scarcelie can I find any of thy blessinges, wherein thou hast not afflicted mee: There bee few sorts or degrees of crosses, wherein thou hast not schooled mee: What Solomon preached of the vanities of the world, thou hast in some measure taught mee by deare Experience.

So that I may justlie euen in thy presence vse the words of thy deare Prophet Ieremiah. I am the man that hath seene affliction in the rodde of his indignation: My flesh and skinne hath hee caused to waxe olde, and hee hath broken my bones, hee hath hedged about mee, that I cannot get out: Hee hath made my chaines heauie. Also when I cryed, hee stopped out my prayer. Hee hath bent his bow, and made mee a marke for his arrow. Hee caused the p. 16Quiuer of his arrow to enter in my reines. He hath filled me with drunkennes & made mee drunken with wormwood. Thus my Soule was farre from peace, I forgot prosperitie, remembring mine affliction and my murning, the wormwoode and the gall, my Soule hath them in remembrance, and is humbled in me. I hauehave borne the yoke from my youth, and sitten alone, and keeped silence, because I hauehave borne it. Lament. 3. v. 1. 4, 7. 8. 12. 13. 14. 15. 17. 19. 20. 27. 28. And now I am afflicted and at the point of death: From my youth hauehave I suffered thy terrors. Psal. 88. 15.

I protest by our rejoycing which we hauehave in the Lord Iesus Christ, I die daylie. 1. Cor. 15. 30. Alwayes bearing about in the bodie, the dying of the Lord Iesus, that the life also of Iesus might bee made manifest in our bodie. 2. Cor. 4. 10.

So thou hast fedde me with the dyet of thy dearest Children, both to fitte mee to a publicke Ministerie, that I might speake of thee and thy wayes, not from any humane teaching, or abstract p. 17speculation, but as being taught of thee by dearest Experience. And to worke in me a loathing of this life, wherin euerie day bringeth a newe griefe to the godlie. Heerein thou hast giuen mee the just Commentar of that Text which all of vsus can reade or rehearse, but fewe doe practise. Hee vvho will bee my Disciple, let him renounce himselfe, and take vp his crosse daylie and follow mee. Luc. 9. 23.

14Is not this enough, to chase Thee from the Earth, O my Soule? Miseries made Pegans to desire death, but they saw not a Glorie to come: God hath enlightned thee in the face of Christ, thou knowest that there is Glorie layed vp for thee in the Heauen, thou belieuest it, hopest for it; thou hast tasted it, and is vnderunder a longing desire of it.

Call thy selfe to minde of the dayes of olde, when either a sense of merciemercy, or more usuallie affliction sent thee to God, did hee not then allure thee, to the wildernesse, and speake to thine heart, p. 18Hosea. 2. 14. Wast thou not then vnderunder his liberall hand, as a small vessell vnderunder a large Fountaine? Did not his joyes so abound in thee, that thou could neither receiue them all, nor keep them in the measure that thou receiued them?

Tell me what was then thy comfort? Thy God so sensible to thee, in that diffusion of his louelove, that thou wast in a sort drawen out of thy selfe, at least drawne out of mee: Could thou either holde thine affection off God, or containe it when it returned to thee? Could thou lodge it, or God that it brought with it? or that sense of him, and joye that it reported to thee?

Did not thy bodie partake of that thy joy? with a sweete complacence it rested on that sense, and was glad to bee so honoured, as to bee a lodging of a Spirit, which had so sweete and friendlie an intercourse with God? When his louelove shed abroad in thee, could not abid in these boundes, whither was thy griefe greater, that so good a God should bee p. 19at any time displeased by thee, or thy joye, because hee was then reconcealed to thee? Then atonce were the deepe groanes both of griefe and joy, but more of joye than griefe; and of joye for that holy griefe, for offending so good a Father.

If thou remember these excessiue joyes, why doest not thou mak good use of them? They were not giuen thee for that time only, but for this that is now: What were these tastes & first fruits, but as the wine grapes that the Spyes broght out of Canaan? They were so great, that they could not beare them in their hand but were a burden to two men: When these two senses of spirituall joy, & Sonlie griefe reported their burthen of an excessiue sweetnesse, was not that a taste of the fruite of Canaan? If a Cluster of that Land be so sweete, so great to thee What shall thou finde when thou enters in that Land?

How can thou but louelove that Land, that hath such fruits, & long for the fulnesse p. 20of that fruite that is so sweete to thy taste, when thou wast vnderunder that sens…, thou was more in God, than in thy selfe, and more in Heauen, than on Earth: Since the remembrance of it doeth both present the Image of it, and waken it selfe againe in thee.

Be of good courage, enter and possesse the Land. God hath discouered it to thee off the toppe of Nebo and Pisgah: Thou hast tasted the fruite of it by the report of the Spyes: Lay hold on it by the hand of thy louelove, & longing desire: God hath cast downe the walles of Iericho before thee, and hath wounded the world, the sonnes of Anake at thy conuersion, and daylie is killing the sonnes of Harapha, in thy daylie battells.

Bee strong, and goe fordward, for God is before thee. Consider by the satietie of the tastes, how great a satietie thou shalt hauehave in Heauen, when the smallest blinke of Gods face made thee patientlie to beare & forget thy greatest affliction, what shall that full presence p. 21worke in thee? In his presence is fulnes of joy, and at his right hand are pleasures for euermore. Psal. 16. If thy taste bee vpright, thou cannot but long for that fulnesse, thou must welcome the Messenger that calleth thee to it.

15How can I but long for a change betwixt two so contrare estates; present miserie grieueth mee, and future Glorie gladeth me in hope. The Earth thrusteth mee from it, and the Heauen allureth and draweth mee to it. Who can indure such a violence of an out thrusting earth; and alluring Heauen? Sathans snares doe vex mee heere beneath, and the sweetnesse of Christ pulleth mee aboue.

Naturall miseries made naturall men to desire Death, and shall I not desire it more, who hauehave an hope and sight of Glorie which they knew not. I will not bee as a Meteor in the Aire betweene them two, but I resolue to leaue the Earth, that I may goe to Heauen.

Who can either delight to abide in such an Earth, or refuse to goe to such p. 22an Heauen? All things here inforce a remouing: Our life a weariesome journey, our walking in it laborious, and it selfe a way, and not our end: And while wee are heere, we are absent from God. But in Heauen all is contrare; our life shall bee pleasant without labour: It is our end, and not the way: Our home in the presence of God. This is sufficient to chase thee from Earth, and sette thy desires on Heauen.

16Art thou walking in the valey of the shaddow of Death? yet feare not euill, for God is with thee; and in thee, and thou in him. Can a man that is in God die the death? No more than Life can die, can that man die that liueth in God: As wee are in Christ, wee are in life, and that life of his, euen himselfe can not die so farre art thou from dying in him at death, that thou liueth more by death, and in it, than before it. None can take that frō me on the Earth, which God is keeping for mee in Heauen: My life is not in this bodie, nor in the world, but p. 23in God in heauen. It is hid with Christ in God Coloss. 3. 3. And the life that I liue, I liue by the Faith of the Sonne of God. Galat. 2. 20.

My death commeth not so much of paines, thrusting mee out of this bodie, as of that life and fountaine of it in God, sucking and drawing my Soule to it; and that not to slay or destroy it, but to quicken and perfect it.

Consider thy selfe, art thou not dwyning and dying in this life, when sinne liueth in thee, and stayeth thee from good, and compelleth thee to euill? The Bodie though an helpe, as it is boared through by the windowes of fiue Senses, yet it is an hinder to thy proficiencie & perfectiō of knowledge & doing.

A Cage suffereth the Bird to looke through the wyres, yet it is a prison to keepe it from libertie: When thou art loosed from that cage, thou shalt hauehave greater light in libertie.

17As Christ himselfe ouercame Death, so will he doe in mee; Sathan did hound p. 24it at him as his last and most fearefull mastiue, but he destroyed it; they went together in others grippes to the Graue, but Christ did strangle it in the owne dungeon: Hee arose, and left it behind him, as a conquered and triumphed Enemy, he did not that for himself, but for vsus his owne Bodie & will doe it in euerie one of vsus in our tyme: Hee fulfilled the Law, tooke away Sinne, satisfied Gods Iustice, and so brak the jawes of Death.

Shall I then feare to follow such a Captaine? Hee hath made Death but a carcase of an enemie, I hauehave neither to feare in it, Sinne which is pardoned, nor Law which is fulfilled, nor Iustice which is satisfied: It is a Serpent without the Sting▪ a Gyant without bones or armes, though it swallow mee vp in a naturall dissolution, it shall cast mee out as the Whale did Ionah in an immortall condition, when this mortalitie shall bee swallowed vp of life.

When Dauid had killed Goliah, the Israelites ranne as fast to see him, as they p. 25fledde▪ before from him, beeing aliue: Doubtlesse they contemned that sometimes terrible Gyant, they trod vponupon him with their feete, and cut him with there swords: They did that securelie, because hee was dead: Hee who was euen now the matter of their feare, his lifeles carcase is turned a matter of their contempt, and his death a cause of their joye.

Death may separate thee from this Bodie, but neither from God nor his life in thee, it shall the more vnite thee to him, & this Bodie that dyeth by thy departing, shall liue in Death. It dyeth as a creature, the part of such a one, but it liueth as a member of Christ, and the Temple of the holie Spirit: both because it is separate from all spirituall corruption of Sinne, and quickened spirituallie by the holy Ghost, who departeth not from it, and in the Spirit of Iesus who remaineth our Head, euen in Death.

And lastlie because thou my best part p. 26shall bee in libertie with God. Death may destroy naturall life, but not the Spirituall, neither in Grace nor Glorie: It can sease on no more than I had, when I sinned in Adam, I got nothing then but a sinfull body, but now in Christ I hauehave a new bodie, created to his Image, who is Life it selfe, & so farre is it from either destroying mee, or dissoluing my union with him, that it both saueth mee, setting mee at libertie from sinne, and perfecteth mine union absolutelie with him.

It rusheth indeede furiouslie on mee, but grippeth nothing but my shaddow: I am in God in Christ, as I am beloued and chosen, called and sanctified. As I am such, Death cannot finde nor grippe mee: While hee grippeth nothing but this bodie of dust, as Potiphars wife laying hold on Ioseph: I goe to God, and leaue my garment in his hand, I am dead to the world and sinne, and my life is hid with Christ in God, and when Christ my Life shall appeare, p. 27then shall I in Soule and Bodie appeare with him in Glorie.

Resent thine owne estate, and thou shalt finde what I say: Hast thou not dyed to the world, and left it, before it left thee? And hast thou not left the bodie before it leaue thee? If thou had not come to God, till the world had forsaken thee, and the bodie chased thee out, hee had found just cause to forsake thee, and send thee backe in disdaine to these thy beloued false friends.

But now since in thy prosperitie thou renounced the worlde, and in thine health and strength, thou went daylie to God, choosing rather to bee in him, than in the bodie: Surelie hee will welcome thee: That is a token of thy liuing in him, and his liuing in thee.

18Marke how thou hast euen in this life preuented the buriall of thy bodie: Hast thou not with Ioseph of Aramathea hewen thee a Sepulchre in the Rock? And cropen in by the holes of that Rocke that was pearced for thee? How oft hast p. 28thou gone in by these wounds of Christ to his heart, by his suffering to his louelove, and the louelove of God in him, and washen thy selfe in the blood of his satisfaction.

19Hast thou not also prepared the fine Linnen, and wrapped thy selfe in the winding-sheete of his righteousnesse? Thy sinnes are buried in the Seas of his merciemercy, and thy selfe is hid in him, before euer thy bodie be layed in the dust.

And hast thou not, prouided Oyle for thy Lampe, that when thou goest out of this bodie, thou wander not in darknesse, but enter streight way in Heauen? All thy care in this life hath beene to get Oyle, and to make it shine, to find light, and walke in that light.

The Rock, thy Sepulchrie hath inclosed thee, the Linnen of his Righteousnesse couered thee, and that burning Oyle in thy Lampe shall not waste, till thou enter in Heauen: Since God euen thy God, hath anointed thee with some measure, of the Oyle of gladnesse, hee hath prepared thee for his Heauenlie p. 29buriall, and the smell of his Oyntments, powred out on thee, hath wrought a distaste of all worldlie pleasures.

20Foure speciall thinges bring solemne joyes in this life, and if we bee in Christ, they all meete in vsus at Death: Birth, Mariage, Triumph, and Coronation. Death is my best Birth day: 21If the childe in the wombe knew that hee were comming foorth to a free light, hee would not weepe at his birth, but Nature in him taketh his deliuerie for destruction, & so maketh him mourne at the just cause of his joye: My first birth brought me out of the prison of the wombe: My second brought mee out of Nature and Sinne: This third and last, shall bring mee perfectlie out of the world and all miserie.

22It is my Mariage day with Christ mine Husband, he hath loued mee with euerlasting louelove, and betrouthed mee to himselfe, in righteousnesse and trueth: And our Bandes are daylie proclaimed in his worshippe, his Gospel preached is the signification of his louelove on his p. 30part, and our Prayers and desires are the signification on our part, since I am glad of the Match, and rejoyce at the proclaiming of these Bannes, why should I fray at the solemnizing of the Mariage?

God sendeth out Pastors, as Abraham did his seruant to choose a wife to Isaak: These Messengers hauehave found me continuallie about the well of liuing waters: The sight of Abrahams riches, euen the chose Graces of God, hauehave wone mine heart to Isaak, and I hauehave gladlie condescended to forsake all, and goe to him: Though I finde him at the Euening and Sun-sette of my life, I shall enjoy with him an euerlasting day of heauenlie contentment. Esther was not sorrowfull, but rejoyced to be takē by Ahashuerosh to wife, and should not I rejoyce when the Lambe of God, Christ Iesus sendeth for mee.

23It is an glorious triumph: Dauid was glad, whē he heard the people sing of his victorie ouer Goliah, & shall I not rejoyce when God hath stramped all mine enemies p. 31vnderunder my feete, when the deuils are howling for their defeate, and the good Angels… and Spirits doe welcome mee with joyfull Acclamations: It is more seemelie that I put in my part with the glorious Spirits in the heauenly harmonie, than with the euill ones in howling: To bee dashed in Death is to let the present victorie goe out of mine hands, Sathan shall then ouercome mee when I am triumphing ouer him: And while I am breaking his power, his policie supplanteth mee, if I bee dejected for that which is my glorie.

24It is my Coronation day, why should I be ashamed of it, Ioseph and Mordecay were not so base minded, as to sorrow at their preferment, and why should I not rejoyce at this my greatest exaltation, to bee taken vp to Heauen, and honoured to an equalitie with Angels, and conformitie with Christ.

25Arise therefore (O my Soule) and make thee for thy last birth day: Come foorth of this Bodie wherein thou dwellest, p. 32and out of this greater Tabernacle from this visible worlde, and goe to God: So long as thou art inclosed in the straite bounds of the creature, thou cannot enjoy freely thy Creator. Arise and mak thee readie to meete thy Bridegroome, hee is comming to thee, and his reward is with him, prepare thy Lampe, powre out thine Oyle, make thee to meete him, who is comming to thee, and hath wooed thee to himselfe.

26Lift vp thine eares, and heare the howling of euill spirites triumphed and subdued, and the encouraging shouting of the glorious Spirites, how all that Queere of Heauen doe gladlie desire to take thee in their number, to keepe thy part of their harmonie of the new Song to the praise of God. And lift vp thine head now full of hope, to receiue that Crowne of Glorie, which Christ hath purchased to thee, and is readie to set vponupon thee.

O Lord, I hauehave foughten my fight, I hauehave finished my race, and keeped the Faith, p. 33hencefoorth is laide vp for mee the Crowne of Righteousnesse, which God the Righteous Iudge will giuegive to mee, and not onelie to mee, but also to all that louelove his glorious comming. 2▪ Timoth. 4.

27Will thou know what is this noyse about thee, it is the hand of thy Lord softlie loosing the pinnes, and slakening the coards of thy Tabernacle, it is the noyse of his Chariots that hee hath sent from Heauen to bring thee to him: Olde Iakob reuiued when he saw Iosephs Chariots to bring him to Egypt, though his posteritie were thereafter in thrall, shall thou not bee glad to goe vp in these Coaches to Heauen, where thou shalt euer bee with Ioseph, and vnderunder a good King, who knoweth Ioseph, and will neuer die.

28This noyse is nothing but the sound of Christs key opening thy prison and fetters: Lift vp thine head and rejoyce, for thy Redemption is at hand, hee that is to come, will come and not delay: Behold hee commeth, and his reward is with him.

p. 34Thou shall heare in due time the voyce of thy beloued crying, Arise my spouse, my beloued, arise, and come away, for the winter of thy calamitous life is gone, the raines of thine affliction are passed. Cant 2.

Fearefull indeede are the cryes which torment the wicked at Death: The cry of their sinnes accusing them, the Law condemning them, the Conscience tormenting them, the Gospel testifying their contempt of it; Sathan insulting ouer them, and of a craftie tempter become a▪ cruell tormenter: The creature cursing them for wearying it with sinne and vanitie: The Heauen debarring them, and the hells gapping for them.

29But I thanke God in Christ, I hauehave a better cry in some measure, and hope to heare it more at the last: My Conscience comforting mee in the peace of God: The Law absoluing mee, because it is satisfied for mee in Christ my Cautioner: The Gospel testifying my delight in it, and care to beleeue and obey it: Sathan and his Angels lamenting p. 35their disappointment: The Heauens opened to receiue my Soule, and Angels readie to carie it to Heauen: So long as thou hearest these sweete voyces, the noyse of Death shall not trouble thee.

All this noyse of a decaying bodie, is for thy libertie, as it decayeth, thou shalt increase, as it goeth to the Earth, thou goest to Heauen: You came from diuerse beginnings, the bodie of the Earth, and God put thee in it, in your loosing you seeke backe to these beginnings, the bodie to the dust, and thou to God that gaue thee, thou wilt bee stronger, freer, cleanner when thou can not vtter thy selfe to man, than euer thou was before. The Ballance are well casten when the more the body returneth to dust, the more thou ascendest to God thy Sauiour.

30I finde a change whereof I neuer thinke to repent, a great change without losse: My bodilie eyes waxe dimme, but my minde seeth God more cleerely: p. 36Mine eares are slow of hearing men, but my Spirit quicke in hearing the consolations of the holy Spirit: My taste distasteth meate, but the delight in tasting the sweetenesse of God, increaseth: All my naturall powers are failing, but my Spirit is more vigorous in affecting, and more peaceable in resting vponupon God and his happinesse.

It it a fearefull change which goeth all to the worse, and in end, to destruction, but this change is all to the better, and shall end in Saluation. This is a sure token, that as I hauehave not enjoyed mine happinesse heere, so I hauehave not lost it heere: But liuing in the hope and beginnings of it, I am now going to the possession of it.

This my change tendeth to happinesse, though the body by dissolution seeme to goe farre about, yet it is in the way to its owne perfection. And thy change is directlie for it, from Faith, to sight, from hope to possession, and both Soule and bodie in their seuerall perfections, shall bee in the last day conjoyned p. 37to make vp my compleatest perfection: There shall neither bee sinne, nor paine in bodie or Spirit, all miseries of both shall bee gone, and happinesse of both shall bee compleate: That worke of Gods Grace perfected in glorie, and his hand crowning my desires with enjoying himselfe.

31Many unions hath thou with the bodie, and but one separation: In our creation in Adam an union in innocencie, in my birth an union in vncleannes, I am begotten and borne according to the image of Adam fallen and sinfull, in the resurrection I shall hauehave a glorious union in Christ, and but onelie one separation in Death. This separation is now needefull, it was threatned in Paradice, if wee offended, and now I cannot enter in Heauen without it, except I either liue till the last day, and be changed, or be translated as Enoch and Elias.

To hold all mankind aliue till the last day, is against GODS appointment, who hath drawne our dayes to an hand-breadth: p. 38To bee translated, is the priuiledge of a few, and cannot bee the lot of all: Therfore the separation is in merciemercy, that the Soule may enter in Glorie, and the bodie rest in hope for a time: It is not casten away, but laide vp, and God hath a speciall care of the dust of it, to raise it vp againe: When our friends and neighbours hauehave laide it in the cold clay, they leaue it there, but God leaueth it not, but keepeth it till the last day.

32Since there can neither goodly be an holding of Soule and bodie together, till the last day, neither a translating of the whole man▪ God hath chosen the mid way to translate the Soule the best part, & to dissolue the bodie; so Gods threatning is keeped, thou shalt die, and thou shalt returne to dust, the example of Christ in death is followed, our best part is translated for our happinesse and the assurance of the bodies reunion, and a way to all. Death in this respect is not penall, but premiall in a sort, not of Gods p. 39anger for our sinne to punish vsus, but of his merciemercy for our well to perfect vsus.

Oft-times God giueth vsus plaine documents heereof if wee would obserue them, eueryevery twenty foure hours we hauehave cleare proofes of foure things. 1. Our Life in the day time, when we are busied in our Calling. 2. Our Death, at Euen, when wee rest from our labours 3. Our Buriall, when wee goe to bedde▪ wee are not casten in them, nor our gar…ments pulled off, but wee goe in quietnesse, and lay our garments downe in order, intending to take them vp againe: 4. Our Resurrection, when wee rise in the morning more vigorous to our Calling, than when we lay downe, then wee shall behold his face in righteousnesse, and when wee awake, shall bee satisfied with his Image. Psal. 17.

33The sentence of Death in bodilie paines, hath taught mee many thinges 1. The mortalitie of my body which must once bee ouercome, and yeelde to them, and so turne to dust, this Cottage p. 40of clay so oft and so hardlie beaten, must once fall.

34Many hauehave a strong desire to liue long, and turneth this naturall desire in a conceate, that as they would, and may, so they shall liue longer: Though there bee necessitie of Death in a decaying bodie, and the spending of the life, yet that desire and hope of life groweth euen with the decay of life. But the holie desire of Immortalitie will eate out that fleshlie desire, and the sense of daylie mortalitie will cut off that false hope.

352. The immortalitie of my Soule, in that vnderunder such paines, it can hauehave the own free working on God: If in a body so diseased, it can seeke him, and finde rest in him, shall it not beeing separate from the bodie, hauehave a more free working.

363. The louelove of God, in deliuering mee from damnation: How often hauehave I cryed in the midst of my paines, O how farre am I bound to thee my Redeemer, who hath deliuered mee from the fire of p. 41Hell? If a short and light paine vnderunder thine hand in louelove bee so heauie, how intollerable is that paine of soule and bodie eternallie vnderunder thy wrath.

374. That thy louelove can stand well with affliction, thou hast made light to arise to mee in darknesse, and caused thy countenance to shine on mee in Christ, and giuen me great peace in my Conscience in my greatest extremitie. O what a Iewell is a good Conscience in affliction! Though no man want his slips and infirmities, yet he may eschew the grossest sinnes: though none can attaine to a legall perfection, yet hee may hauehave an Evangelicall perfection, in Faith, Repentance, and begunne obedience.

When the Soule darre attest God, as witnesse, and appeale him as Iudge to its sinceritie: In intending nothing but his Glorie: In inquiring his will as the way to that Glorie: And endeuouring to doe according to his knowledge for that good end: Then in some measure wee may say with Ezechiah, Remember, O p. 42Lord, how I hauehave walked before thee in trueth, and with a perfect heart.

The conscience of these things hauehave so taken vp my Soule, that my paines at the greatest are mitigate; that holy and heauenly diuerting of my Spirit by so sweet and spirituall influence, sometimes beguyleth my bodilie sense, that it doeth but tolerablie affect mee. The present sense of thy louelove in mine acceptation in Christ, and assurance of Glorie to come, are strong ingredients to temper the greatest paines in this life. And it is a profitable paine in the bodie, that both occasioneth the seeking, and bringeth out the feeling, of the health of the Soule, in thy sensible louelove.

38It hath also giuen mee a new Experience of Death; surelie Death to the Sainctes is not as the most part take it, ¹ not a destruction, but a deliuerie. ² It is both my last affliction, and my last deliuerance from all miseries. 39³ It is both an end of this life, and the beginning of my life of Glorie in Heauen. ⁴ In it p. 43selfe it is a curse, but to the Sainctes a blessing in him who hath ouercome it. ⁵ I finde it both a dissolution from the world, and of Soule and body, and of euerie part of the bodie from other, and my first great union with GOD, the Sainctes and Angels. ⁶ It is both my death and perfect birth day; I hauehave now a seeming life, but I liue not perfectlie till I die, the New man shall then come foorth to a glorious libertie in the face of God.

⁷ It is my last and greatest pollution, my bodie is sometimes and by partes affected with weaknesse, and Death turneth all in a lumppe of vyle and lifelesse clay; and yet it is my first and greatest purgation: Many purgations spirituall hast thou giuen mee in this life, in Baptisme the Laver of Regeneration, from sin in euerie act of Faith, purifying the heart; in euerie act of Repentance, washing mee in the blood of Christ, in euerie exercise of spirituall worship clensing mine handes in innocencie to compasse p. 44thine Altar: But this is the great and last purgation, when I am cleansed from all sinne: In that same instant when my Soule and body doe separate, all spiritual blemishes are separated from mee: That is the worke of thy Spirit in mee, hee knoweth no vncleane thing can enter in Heauen, and therefore at my last breath he will giuegive me the last & full cleansing, and last degree of sanctification; I tremble not at the fire of Purgatorie.

The enemies of the crosse of Christ, are justlie so punished by that their errour; when Christs Blood hath cleansed mee from all guiltinesse of all sinne, and his sanctifying Spirit hath purged out the nature of it: And his perfect obedience hath relieued mee from all punishment, there is neither place nor use for that purging, or rather tormenting fire after this life: ⁸ Death is in it selfe the most terrible of all terrors, but I find it in Christ most desireable.

40The wicked doe tremble at the thoughts of it, they see it onelie in the p. 45fearefull respects, as a destructiō, a curse, an end, a death, a dissolution, a pollution: Therefore they abhorre it, and the mention of it, is to them as the hand-write on the wall was to Beltashar.

41But thou shewest to mee these pleasant respects of death, as a deliuerie, a blessing, a beginning, a birth, an union, a purgation: They hauehave none but fearefull grounds, they are yet in Nature, vnderunder the Law vnderunder sinne, without Christ, and vnderunder an euill conscience, but thou hast layed better grounds in mee, and put mee vnderunder Grace, and vnderunder the Gospel, vnderunder remission of sinne in Christ, and in a good Conscience.

What wonder that the godlie and wicked vponupon so contrare grounds, and respects, hauehave so contrare thoughts and desires of Death. Thou hast builded my Soule vponupon these best grounds, and filled it with consideration of the best respects of Death, therefore it is that I louelove it, and desire it as thy Messenger in merciemercy, for mine eternall good: As p. 46Laban welcomed Abrahams seruant, and said, Come in thou, blessed of the Lord; so I sette mee not to flee, but occure to it, not to shune it, but to welcome it.

42Nothing affrayeth man more at the sight of Death, than vncertaintie of his estate after it: Euerie one at death is as a man on an edge of an high Hill, all must leepe, but euerie one knoweth not where he shall light: To the wicked the valley is darke and mistie, they know not what shall become of them after Death, dulefull is the parting of that Soule and bodie that part vnderunder sinne and wrath: At best they are in this confused vncertaintie, not knowing their future estate, and if they hauehave any knowledge, it is all spent in mutuall accusing & cōdemning at the last day, and mutuall tormenting in Hell, as authors and furtherers of sin.

Their Soule curseth their bodie, because it was too readie an instrument to execute the wicked desires of it: And the bodie shall curse the Soule, because it was an euill guide to misleede it in sin. p. 47They liue now in cōcord & mutuall flatterie of other, which is nothing but their conspiracie against God: But when both are sensible of their estate, they shall curse other mutuallie. As they part at Death, so shall they bee joyned at the last day, and curse other eternallie in the Hell vponupon the same grounds.

But to the godlie, all things are contrare: They know whither they goe after Death, and their Soules and Bodies at their parting blesse one another, for their joynt happinesse in the state of Grace, and in mutuall testifying of their seuerall labour in the Lord, for attaining that happinesse. They part full of the peace of God, full of the desire of their reunion, and full of the hope of it, and eternall Glorie thereafter.

43Thou hast blessed mee with this certainetie: For my bygone condition, thou perswadest me of my Calling and Election, and hast made them sure in me by thy constant working since thou called mee to Grace: For my present p. 48estate I finde my selfe vnderunder thy fauour in Christ, reconcealed to thee in him, as one of thy called and chosen Ones: For my future estate, I know that my Redeemer liueth, and that hee shall stand at the latter day vponupon the Earth: And though after my skinne wormes consume this bodie, yet in my flesh shall I see God, whom I shall see for my selfe, and not another for mee, though my reines bee consumed within mee. Iob. 19. 25. I know that if the earthlie house of this Tabernacle were dissolued, I hauehave a building of God, an house not made of hands, in Heauen. 2. Cor. 5. 1.

Many seeke certaintie of vncertainties, to secure their worldlie state on Earth, and neglect their spirituall state in thee: But all fastening in the world is loosnesse, and a losing of a better: But I seeke for a certaintie of that better substance.

44By the Grace working Faith in mee, thou hast made mee more certaine what shall become of my Soule and bodie after Death, than I am of my goods in the p. 49world, I hauehave no promise of their particular state, thy Prouidence will secure it selfe of them, and they may possiblie fall in the hand of mine enemies. But as for my Bodie, I know it shall rest in hope in the dust, till the Resurrection, and my Soule shall bee carried to Abrahams bosome.

45Thou hast tolde mee whither I shall goe, when I die, euen to that Land of Light and Libertie, to these Mansions which Christ in the Heauen hath prepared for mee: And for thy louelove, and desire to bee with thee in them, I visite them daylie: When at euening, morning and midday, yea, seuen times a day I call on thee, my Father in Heauen; then am I visiting these Mansions: I cannot bow my knee religiouslie to thee, but mine heart is then with thee, adoring thee in the Heauen of heauens: In the time of thy worshippe when I seeke thy face, though my Bodie bee on the Earth, yet my Soule is beholding thy face, thereby acquainting my selfe with the light of p. 50thy countenance, which I hope to enjoye for euer.

46Thou knowest I counted not these for dayes of my life, wherein I did not often draw neare to thee on the throne of Grace, almost continuallie setting thee before mee, and disposing my Soule and bodie as worthie of thy sight.

Shall I not then know that way after Death, which I daylie hauehave troden in my life? Or shall that light which now leadeth mee in the darknesse of this life, be put out at Death? I must die, but it will not die to mee: Thy face that now inlightneth mee, shall send out a more glorious splendour in the houre of my Death, than euer it sent in this life: There is no feare of darknesse in the path of Death, when the discouered face of God in merciemercy shineth on mee, and perfectlie inlighteneth mee in that glorious light.

47When bodilie senses doe faile, the spirituall sense and sight succeed in their perfection, I hauehave in this life but a small p. 51candle lighted at the meanes of Grace in reading, hearing, and meditation: But when these meanes end, and mine outward senses doe cease from their work, I shall take light immediatelie from God himselfe, hee worketh by his ordinance, so long as their necessitie or vse remaineth, but when these end, he commeth in himselfe and worketh more fullie.

I neede not bee grieued, nor my friends cry out in the bitternes of heart, when my senses faile: The light that I looke for in Death, shall as farre exceed my present light, as the Sunne in his full beautie at mid-day exceedeth the light of a small candle. I shall finde no darknesse in the passage of Death, since I am in Christ: Hee who is in him, shall not walke in darknesse, but shall hauehave the light of Life. The immediate …ight of God, needeth not the use of outward meanes: It shall bee no losse to mee, when perfection supplieth and succeedeth imperfection.

48Thou hast also acquainted mee with p. 52Death, and made mee feele in some beginnings and resemblance that same which I will finde at his dint; that sentence of Death putteth mee to the hight of Resolution, and I am vnderunder thine hand, as Isaak vnderunder the hand of Abraham, bound and layed on the Altar, and know nothing but that the stroke will come, I am readie for it, and looke for none other than dissolution.

But thou knowest thy thoughts concerning mee. If thou spare mee at this time, this lesson is profitable, that thou hast shewed mee the face of Death, and yet brought mee backe againe.

49As tender and louing Parents in this Towne, send their sicklie Children ouer this Firth, not to leaue them on the other Shore, but by Sea-sicknesse to purge their Stomacke, and cure them of their infirmitie: So thou can imbark thine owne in the Ship of the sentence of Death, and Resolution for it, and bring them back againe, and cause them cast out some noysome corruption in p. 53renouncing the world.

50Thou knowest, O Searcher of hearts, that I neither louelove this life, nor desire to abide in it for it selfe, but for thy Glorie, Though I bee full of dayes, yet if I can honour thee in it, I care not what miseries I vndergoe: I had neuer greater contentment, than when I was most injured for thy cause: As I count of no life but in thee, so I desire not to liue but for thee.

If thou bring mee backe againe, serue thy selfe of mee in merciemercy, and doe with mee as seemeth good in thine eyes. If thou hast decreed that at this time, I shall not die, but liue, then grant that I may declare the mercies of the Lord: That in my lent and prolonged dayes, I may magnifie thy glorious Grace in Christ, in teaching sinners thy wayes, & turning them to thee: That thy vowes may bee on mee, O Lord, and I may pay them in the sight of thy people, in the great Congregation, that when thou hast redeemed my Soule from Death, mine eyes from teares, and my feete p. 54from falling, I may walke before the Lord in the Land of the liuing. Psal. 116.

And may both feele and say with thine holie Apostle, Blessed bee God▪ euen the Father of our Lord Iesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort, Who comforteth vsus in all our tribulation, that wee may bee able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort, wherewith wee our selues are comforted of God. For as the sufferinges of Christ abound in vsus, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. And whether wee bee afflicted, it is for your consolation and saluation: Or whether wee bee comforted, it is for your consolation and saluation. 2. Cor. 3. 4. 5. 6.

51I looke for a glorious Resurrection and eternall day of light, and comfort after it, all my deliueries in this life, hath some night of affliction following, and the verie day of prosperitie may both hauehave gloumie cloudes of miscontentment, and the eclypses of thy face in some desertion: But that day in Heauen shall p. 55hauehave no night following, none obscuritie, by raines or cloudes of affliction: None eclypse by desertion, but the constant enjoying of thy face for euer.

52Thou will wype all teares from mine eyes, both the teares of sorrow vnderunder temptation to sinne, and vnderunder guiltinesse for sinne committed, and vnderunder affliction: As also the teares of joy, I shall then rejoyce without teares, for my bodie shall hauehave none excrementitious humour, to cast out at mine eyes: And that joye shall not bee by way of passion as now, but of a glorified affection, it shall not bee mixed with feare of ending, but endure eternallie.

Who can refuse to die for to obtaine such a Glorie, Death is but short, and that Glorie beyond it, is euerlasting and shall wype away all sorowes both of this life, & death. Dauids Worthies for a litle water of the well Bethlehem, brak throgh the Armie, and shall not we for the well it selfe of liuing waters, aduenture vponupon Death? Men sicke of Ambition, cast p. 56away there life in battells or combats where the victorie is vncertaine; and the following fame is but smooke: And shall wee not combat with Death, where the victorie is certaine, and the following glorie is weightie and eternall.

53I hauehave had an longsome toyle in the world, now I am called to the Lords Rest, I had no rest heere but in him, and it is kindlie that I finde it more in him in the Heauen. There I shall rest from my labours. There thy wearisome journey shall end in the owne home (O my wearie Soule) thou needeth goe no further, than thine home, and thy growth shall end in that thy perfection: There is no way beyond the end, nor growth aboue perfection.

Though there bee sundrie degree of of Glorie in Heauen, yet the least degree (if perfection can bee little) shall hauehave fulnesse. It can neither desire more nor receiue more: When desire is satis…ied and capacitie filled that is absolute perfection.

p. 5754Goe then to this rest, and sute it of God vponupon all these rights, which his merciemercy hath furnished to thee.

Thou hast his right of the promise, in the Couenant: Of his acquisition, in the purchase of Christ: Of his Legacie, in the Testament, Father, I will that these which thou hast giuen mee bee where I am. Of Infeftment, by the earnest of the Spirit: Of begunne possession, by the first fruites, and of perfection by so many fulnesses. Thou art full of dayes, and full of labour, both of Gods worke in thee, and by thee in other in thy calling, and full of desire of dissolution, and of that better life.

What then can hold thee out of it? God is the Donatour, and hath it in his hand. Since he hath made thee all these rights, hee will maintaine them, and put thee fullie in the possession. Goe, and claime it of his merciemercy, thy claime will bee admitted of him, who hath both founded and fraimed it in himselfe.

How can I but expect the happie end p. 58of thy worke in mee, O Lord, who hauehave found thee so mercifull in the bygone course of it: As thou beginnest in thine own, so thou proceedest till thou crown it with glorie: My feeling of it, is by parts and degrees, but in it selfe, and in thee, it is a continued and compleete worke.

Thou didst begin in it my free election, and seeing mee lye in the lost masse of mankinde didst choose mee in Christ: Thou broughtest mee in the world, in a time and place where the Gospel was preached and Grace offered: And scearcely was I borne, when thou washed mee in Baptisme in the blood, and renewed mee by the Spirit of Christ.

When I was offered to thee in that Sacrament, little did I knowe what grounds of Grace thou was laying in mee. Thou broughtest mee vp in humane learning vnderunder good Masters, and hemmed in, the folie of my youth with the care and proficience in learning.

With these good occasions thou p. 59blessed mee with the hearing of godlie Pastors, who did sow the seed of godlinesse in mine heart, so that in the verie throng of Schoole-studies thou drew me to a set dyet of priuate deuotion, in reading thy word, & in calling on thy Name.

So soone as I could discerne any thing, thou inclined mine heart to the sacred Ministerie, and made mee desire to serue thee in it aboue all callings: And sweyed all my thoughts and studies for the obtaining of the abilities of that worke. In the verie course of humane learning, thou put thine hand in mine heart, and entred mee in the grieuous exercise of Conscience, to prepare mee for thy seruice: and gaue me no solide peace till I tooke on mee both the yocke of Christ in mine effectuall calling to grace, and of the Ministerie of the Word. By this doing thou drew all my thoughts to practick Diuinitie as to the best sort holding mee euer about the end, and the use, & the fruite of the best meanes to it. for keeping of a good Conscience.

p. 60Thou hast joyned foure things in me, that furnisheth daylie exercise to my Spirit. 1. A naturall disposition inclining to pensiuenesse, so that my greatest rest is in the multitude and throng of enquiring thoughts. 2. The worke of Grace in the sanctified exercise of Conscience. 3. And thy prouidence without euerie day furnishing a new crosse, as mine ordinary dyet & a matter both to my naturall disposition, & Conscience. 4. And with all these the assiduous labour of a painefull Ministerie, changing the nature of rest and labour in mee: So that my greatest rest is in greatest labour, and a short relaxation doeth wearie mee more, than long bending of my Spirit.

As thou didst separate me to the Gospel, of thy Son, and counted mee faithfull, and put mee in the Ministerie, thou possest me with a care to bee faithfull in it, and to approue my selfe to thee, in preaching thy word as thy word, and in partaking of that Grace which in thy Name, I offer to other. Thou made mee thinke p. 61it a fearefull judgement to feede others and sterue my selfe: To builde the Arke of Noe to saue others, and perish in the waters my selfe, but to striue to this compleat fruite of the Ministerie by faithfull discharge of my duetie, to saue my selfe, and them that heare mee. 1. Timoth 16. I cānot but count this among thy greatest mercies to mee, that in the midst of my trouble thou fillest my Soule with thy peace, & that in the multitude of the thoughts of mine heart, thy comfortes delight mee, Psal. 94. 19. While I am thy prisoner in this bed of disease, & cannot declare thy mercies in publicke to thy people; Thou giuest mee libertie to speake of thy wondrous workes to them that visite mee, to exhort them to liue the life of the righteous, and in as great confidence in thy Name, to assure them, that in that case they shall die the death of the righteous: And to say with thy Prophet, Come, and heare all yee that feare the Lord, and I will declare what hee hath done to my Soule. I cryed vntounto him with my mouth, p. 62and hee was exalted with my tongue. If I regarded iniquitie, in mine heart, the Lord will not heare mee, But truelie God hath heard me, and hath hearkened to the voyce of my prayer. Ps 66. 16▪ 17▪ 18▪ 19. For hee seeth no sinne in Iaacob, nor transgression in Israel. Numb. 23 21. But as manie as walke according to this rule, his peace is on them, and his merciemercy, and vponupon the Israel of God. Galat. 6. 16.

This I take as a seale of thy louelove, that thou hast both accepted mee, and my former ende…ours, and pardoned all my sinnes in the Sonne of thy louelove: What would be my case, if in those paines my wonted terrours had possessed mee: But thou who comforteth the abject, & knowest my weaknesse, layest no more on mee than I can beare: Thou makest thy Grace sufficient for mee, to gi…e mee the out gate with the temptation, that thy power may bee manifested in my weakenesse. 1. Cor. 12. 7. 9. Blessed bee God, who hath not turned away my prayers, nor his mercies from mee. Psal. 66. 20.

p. 63How precious are thy thoughts to mee, O God, how great is the summe of them, If I should count them, they are moe in number than the sand. Psal. 139. 17. 18.

Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderous vvorkes, which thou hast done, and thy thoughts vvhichwhich are towards vsus, they cannot hee reckoned vp in order to thee. If I would declare and speake of them, they are moe than can bee numbred. Psal. 40. 5.

But this is a small summe of a greater roll, that I may both testifie to the world my thankfulnesse to thee, who hast ladened mee daylie with thy blessings: And stirre vp others to marke thy mercifull dealing with them in their youth. That finding thy goodnesse in good occasions and education, and the blessing of both in learning and godlinesse, they may bee thankefull to thee.

O what a merciemercy is it in so dangerous a time as Youth, to bee brought by thy Spirit to true Wisedome and godlines: Then Witte is weakest and corruption is strongest, and we readie eueryevery houre p. 64to cast our selfe in sinnes, which may cost vsus eternall murning. But thou preuentest Sathan, and ingageth vsus in thy Grace and obedience, before either hee can abuse vsus in iniquitie, or wee doe know what good thou art working in vsus.

Thou knowest how forcible the sense and conscience of thy merciemercy is, both to make vsus thankefull for it, and desirous and confident of more: None can feele thy louelove in thy Fatherlie care ouer him in his Youth, but his heart must dissolue in louelove to thee, and powring out it selfe on thee, waite vponupon the due accomplishment of such good beginnings.

When I remember these thy mercies, I finde them mine obligements to thee: How thou didst beare more with mee, than all the world, or I could beare with my selfe: I both wonder at thy vnspeakable louelove pursuing with kindnesse so vile a worme: And am confident that thou who hath begunne thy good worke in mee, will also finish it, till the day of the Lord Iesus: Whō thou louest, thou louest to the end. p. 65Thy calling and gifts are vvithout Repentance. VVho shall separate vsus from the louelove of Christ? For I am perswaded, that neither Death, nor Life, nor Angels, nor Principalities, nor Powers, nor things presēt, nor things to come nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall bee able to separate vsus from the louelove of God, which is in Christ Iesus our Lord. Rom. 8. 38. 39.

VnderUnder this acquaintance with Death, and certaintie of these glorious thinges after it, the bitternesse of Death is disgested: As the godlie and wicked hauehave contrare respects of Death, and contrare grounds, and contrare desires, so also contrare disposition, and practice when it commeth.

56I leaue the horrors of it to them that are vnderunder sinne: Their death is like a Malefactors execution; when hee is pannaled, and justlie convicted, one pulleth the Hatte doggedlie from him, another his bond, a third bindeth his hands behind his backe, and the poore man ouercome with griefe and feare, is dead p. 66before hee die.

57But I looke for the Death of the Righteous, and a peaceable ende, that it shall bee as a going to bed of an honest man: His seruants with respect take off his cloathes, and lay them downe in order: A good Conscience then playing the Page ordereth all, so that it confirmeth and increaseth his peace: It biddeth good-night to Faith, Hope, and such other attending graces and giftes in the way: When wee are come home to Heauen, there is no vse of them: But it directeth LoueLove, Peace, Ioy, and other home graces, that as they conveyed vsus in the way, so they attend vsus at Death, and enter in the Heauens with vsus.

The first sort beginneth & endeth here their being & vse: The second of a more induring Nature, doe beginne and grow here, and shall abide in vsus for euer in Heauen, as a part of our perfectiō. Marke the just man, and consider the vpright, for the end of that man is peace. Ps. 37. 37.

Moses after hee had beene all his p. 67dayes a faithfull Seruant in the house of God, dyed peaceablie on the Mountaine, in the Armes of God: Hee liued all his time in Gods obedience, & dyed full of his fauour and peace: God welcometh them kindlie to his joyfull Rest, who serue him faithfullie in their life.

58There is none so throughly sanctified, who at Death shall not find some feare: Nature is nature in the best men, till Soule and bodie separate. 1. The remembrance of bygane sinnes, though pardoned: 2. The sight of the great volumes of the compt Books of our Conscience, though cancelled in the Blood of Christ. 3. The skarres and markes of our mortified corruption. 4. And the weaknes of grace not yet fully perfected. 5. And the paines of Death both then first felt, and last to bee felt, will worke some astonishment in them who are best prepared for Death.

But so soone as our Spirites gather themselues, and seeth God in Christ, with the Crowne of Glorie in his hand, p. 68and the good Angels come to carrie our Soules to Heauen, all that amazement shall euanish.

59God in merciemercy, both craueth and admitteth those our infirmities: Hee giueth Grace in some things to correct Nature: In some to cure it: In other to sanctifie and perfect it: All these workes of Grace doe heerein concure, Natures moderate feares are sanctified, her excesses preuented and corrected, and her last worke closed by the succeeding glorious joyes.

Manie things giuegive vp their last worke at our death: Sathan his last on-sette: The Conscience (if it be not fullie pacified) her last accusation, & then turneth to be a continuall comforter: The Body the last feeling of paine, and all these are greatest, because they are last, and yet doe not argue strength or preuailing but decay: Deadlie diseased bodies hauehave some sort of bettering, immediatelie before Death. It seemeth to some a recouerie of health, but is indeede a dying.

p. 69So all these things at our Death cease from their worke by their last on-sette. Pharaoh made his most fearefull assault on Israel at the red Sea, but these men which now yee see, yee shall see no more, said Moses. Wee may beare with Natures last assaulting and braids in Death, it shall neuer molest vsus againe.

60I hauehave put mine house in order, & disposed all things that thou hast giuen me▪ The world I leaue to the world, thou knowest I neuer loued it, nor counted of it since I saw thee. The first worke of thy life in mee, was the killing of the louelove of the world: Thy face, the light of thy countenance, and sweetnesse of thy Grace, made mee disgust the world, as gall and worme-wood. My bodie I lay ouer to the dust, in hope of a glorious resurrection: My Soule I giuegive to thee who hath giuen it to mee; since the dayes of mine effectuall calling, it hath beene more in thee than in mee, the desire of it is to thee, and the delight of it in thee alone; what then remaineth, p. 70but that now it bee filled with thy selfe.

I hauehave not much to transport out of this world: My Soule in the strongest affection is gone before, and when I come away, I shall bring nothing to Heauen, but thy workes in me, and with them a good Conscience, my daylie obseruer: As for things worldlie, the baggage of this Earth, I leaue it as the house sweepings to them who come after in this great house of the world; I had none other accompt of it, euen in the time of necessitie, of the vse of it, what shall I count of it now, when that necessitie is ending.

As for my sinnes, which thou hast pardoned in Christ, I lay them ouer to Sathan, as their Author, they were mine in their Nature, Action, and Guiltinesse, but they are his in Origination: Hee spewed that poyson in Adam whereby all mankind are originallie defiled.

Thy sauing Grace I render to thee againe, thou hast giuen it to me, to bring mee out of Nature: And the natiue p. 71course of it is to returne to thee, and in that returning, to carrie mee with it towards thee, the Fountaine of Grace.

So in Death I desire to be as a Pitcher broken at the well, while the potsheard turneth to the dust, let my Soule with thy Grace runne backe to the well againe, euen to thee, from whom I receiued them. Confirme this my Testament, O Lord, as thine owne worke, and a part of the meeting of thy Testament to mee.

Nothing but my sinnes can hold mee out of Heauen, which receiueth no vncleane thing: Cast them behind thy backe, and burie them in the bottome of the Sea: Seale vp the discharge of them in my Conscience, that when I goe out of this life, I may present it as my warrand and thy token to bee admitted within the gates of Heauen, assure mee more and more of that remission, that I may also bee assured of all the following blessinges which thou hast purchased with thy blood.

p. 72Thou sanctified our Nature, and assumed it in the Virgine, to worke the worke of our Redemption thereby: To make it a paterne and samplar of our sanctification: A conduit pype to convey Grace to vsus: And a pledge that in due time, thou wilt make vsus like to it in a fellowshippe with thee: Sanctifie me throughlie with thine holie Spirit, that I may bee fullie receiued in thy fellowshippe, and enjoye all these glorious priuiledges in thee.

This Saluation thou hast purchased for vsus, and promised to vsus, and hast wrought in mee both a desire of it, and a particulare perswasion of it for my selfe. This is a true saying, and by all meanes to bee receiued, that Christ Iesus came into the world to saue sinners, of whom I am the chiefe. 1. Timoth. 1. 15. Remember therefore thy promise to thy Seruant wherein thou hast made mee to trust: This is my comfort in mine affliction, for thy word hath quickened mee. Ps. 119. 49.

61Now, Lord, I am taking vp the other p. 73Shore and the Land beyond the Riuer: In mine effectuall calling thou brought mee through the red sea, bring mee now safelie through Iordan. Then thou drowned mine enemies in Baptisme: These waters that washed me, destroyed them: Diuide likewise, O Lord, these waters of death, that I may safelie enter into thine heauenlie Canaan: Elias Mantle diuided Iordan; wrap me vp in Christs righteousnesse, that I may passe through Death: For there is no damnation to them that are in Christ. Rome. 8. 1.

Set the Arke of the Couenant in the midst of it: Where that Couenant commeth, these waters diuide themselues: Let mee see the high Priest of my profession (who is the Arke himselfe) carying that Arke before mee: Where hee setteth his feete, there is dry ground to passe through the midst of dangers. O Sonne of God, shew thy propitiation to the Father, to appease him: To me, to encourage mee: To these waters, that they may flee away, and to mine enemies, p. 74that they may bee destroyed,

62Let mee see thee (as I did long since) at the like sentence of Death interponing thy selfe betwixt the wrath of God and mee, securing me from sinne, punishment, and all that worke of Iustice: When thou turned wrath in merciemercy, and the Iustice Seate in a Throne of Grace: And setting thy selfe as a sconse between GODS wrath and mee, made mee as posedlie and calmelie to stand before God, vnderunder the sentence of Death, as euer I did in the sweetest meditations & motions of thy Spirit. That former proofe (yet fresh in my minde) confirmeth mine hope in the expectation of the like peace, when Death shall come indeede.

63All this I know, this I beleeue, and hope for, and feele alreadie begunne in mee in some measure, and perswade my selfe as now I thinke it, and write it, that in due time, I shall finde it, and praise thee in Heauen eternallie for it, when thou hast crowned thy mercies in mee.

p. 7564The sense of thy presence doth now delight mee, but I rest not on it: As it giueth mee vnspeakable contentment, so it pouseth mee fordward to thy perfect presence: I must euer bee in mouing, till I bee perfected in thee.

Though thy presence cōfort me now in these my Soules-speaches with thee, a…d refresh my wearie heart both vnderunder present paine, and foreseene paines of death, yet I stay not there: These cooling tastes doe rather inflame my desire, than quench it, and increase my longing for the Well it selfe: That I may bee satisfied aboundantlie with the fatnesse of thine House, and drinke of the Riuer of thy pleasures. For with thee is the Fountaine of Life, and in thy Light I shall see light. Psal. 36. 8. 9.

All my joyes in the way cannot satisfie mee, till I bee in that Citie, whereof the Lord God Almightie, & the Lambe is the Temple: That new Ierusalem that hath no neede of the Sunne, nor of the Moone, for the Glorie of GOD doeth inlighten it, and the p. 76Lambe is the Light of it. Reuelat. 21. 22. 23. I long for that pure Riuer of the water of Life, cleare as crystall, proceeding out of the Throne of God, and the Lambe: I long for the fruite of the Tree of Life, that bringeth fruite eueryevery MonethMonth, (euer constant and new joyes) that I may see the face of the Lambe, and hauehave his Name written in my forehead, and follow him vvhither soeuer hee goeth. Revelat. 22. 1. 2. 4.

Till I come to this estate, my Soule will euer thirst for thee, more than the thirstie land doth for raine, or the chased Hart panteth for the riuer of vvaters: My Soule thirsteth for God, euen for the liuing God, Oh, vvhen shall I come and appeare before God. Psal. 42. 2.

65None hath wrought, or can worke this great Desire in me, but thou onelie, & none can, or shall satisfie it, but thou, and that by none of thy giftes but by thy selfe alone: It is a desire of thy selfe aboue all, and cannot rest without thy selfe: It is stronger than all other desires p. 77in mee, they are all silent when it raigneth, they cease willinglie, and quite their priuate contentment, and seeke it in the satisfaction of this greatest One. Come therefore, O thou, whom my Soule loueth, and satisfie my Soule in her greatest desire of thee.

66This is for the present (by the worke of thy Spirit) & I trust shall be my last & ardent affection to thee in the houre of my Death, & mine eternall condition in the Heauens. Then the greatest satisfactiō of my greatest desire, shall work my greatest delight: Sight, and Sense, and Fruitiō shall then teach mee, that which now the eye hath not seene, not the eare heard nor the heart of man conceiued: But when I shall see thee, as thou art, & shall know thee, as I am known, then I shall see that which now I beleeue and hope for, euen mine happinesse in thee perfectlie.

When the end of thy louelove to mee, and of my desire of thee, doe meete in that glorious perfection, there shall neither be matter nor place for more desire: p. 78The infinite weight of Glorie: The eternall indurance of it: The constant freshnesse and continuall newnesse of it in my neuer-loathing nor decaying feeling, excludeth both the increase and beeing of any desire: Whē thy delight in mee, and my delight in thee doe concurre, then my glorified delight shall rest on thee, and thy delights contentedlie. I cease now to write, but not to think of, and affect thee as mine onelie happines.

Let thy good Spirit, O Lord, keepe my Soule, vnderunder the sense of these delights, or vnderunder the memorie of them, or the fruite of them, that I may walk in the strength of their cōsolations, delighting my selfe in thee, and in that mine happinesse, which is thy selfe, till I perfectlie enjoy Thee. Into thine Hands, I commit my Spirit, for Thou hast redemed mee, O LORD GOD of Trueth. COME LORD IESVS, AND TARIE NOT. AMEN.

FINIS.