A Bartholomew Fairing for Parents to Bestow — John Stockwood

A Bartholomew Fairing for Parents to Bestow · John Stockwood

That Mariages are not to be made without the conſent of Parentes.

AMong many other vices, wherewith the worlde at this day is full fraughted, inſomuch that the verie elements themſelues, together with the reſt of the creatures (as S. Paule in his 8 Cap.Rom. 8.20.21.22.23. vntounto the Romans doth teach vsus) doe groane vnderunder the burthen of them, looking for a change, from the vanitie whereunto they are made ſubiect through the ſinne of man, that they may be reſtored vntounto the glorious libertie of the ſonnes of God, this one is neither the leaſt nor the laſt, whereby youth for the moſt part is growne vntounto ſuch a paſſe, that forgetting al childlike affection and dutifull obedience vntounto father and mother in the higheſt point of ſubiection, the which they owe vntounto them in this life, and whervpon dependeth their making or marring (as they ſay) together with the continuall ioy or ſorrow of their parentes they whollie follow their own will and let out the raines vntounto their owne vnbrideled & vnſetled luſts, making matches according to their own fickle fantaſies, and chooſing vntounto themſelues yokefellowes after the outward deceiuable direction of the eie, nothing regarding the ſounde aduice of a minde guided with the knowledge & feare of God, the which counſelleth to reſpect the inwarde graces and ornamentes of the ſoule, & not to be enamoured with the outward garniſhing, beauty, br…uerie and decking of the bodie. And here of it commeth to paſſe,Gen. 6.1. that men in their mariages following the maners of the ſons of the firſt forlorne world, ſeeing the daughters of men to be beautifull & pleaſing vntounto the eie, take vntounto themſelues of all that they like, not waiting nor ſtaieng for the choiſe of their parents, by whoſe authoritie, if they ought to be directed in the matters of ſmaller waight and leſſe importance,If obedience due vntounto parents in the ſmalleſt matters, much more in the greater. as now is ſo ſhameleſſe and void of grace, that he dare to denie, how much more are they then to be ruled by their graue aduice in this which chiefly concerneth Gods glorie, their owne welfare, the chearing and reioicing of them that hauehave begotten them.

But like as in the firſt age of the world, this ſin is in the place of Geneſis before recited, reckoned vp by the holie Ghoſt for one of the principall cauſes that mooued God to ſet wide open the windowes of heauen, and to poure downe raine in ſuch fearfull aboundance, as that in the raging force & ſwelling ſtreame of the ſame, man with all other creatures miſerably periſhed, thoſe onelyonly excepted, the which were preſerued in the Arke ſo queſtiōles we do owe moſt of the plagues, wherewith now a daies God puniſheth this preſent age, and in the end will in fearfull maner conſume the ſame vntounto this great and maine ſin of children their matching in mariage without the counſaile and aduice, nay ſpite of the teeth of their godly parentes. For mariage being the meanes the which God himſelfe hath ordained and ſanctified for the propagation and increaſe of mankind, that being taken in hand in his feare, a godly ſeed being multiplied & growen vp here on earth the ſame may be bleſſed to the conſtitution & making of a Church, the which may ſerue him in holines and righteouſnes: when the ſame is taken in hand with the breach of his commandement, ſo far off is it, that any bleſsing is to be hoped for, that contrariwiſe his hot indignation and heauie curſe hangeth ouer that houſe & familie,Mariage taken in hand with the breach of God. commandement, can not proſper. wher the parties which are the principall pillers and vpholders of the ſame, are linked andtied together in ſuch a bād of wedlock, whoſe links & incloſings are not faſtened and coupled together with the neceſſarie and lawfull aſſent and liking of the parentes, whoſe authoritie & conſent ought to beare the chiefeſt ſway, and ſtrike likewiſe the greateſt ſtroke in this moſt holy and heauenlie action. And like as mariage is begon & enterpriſed in the feare of God according to his word, there God is well pleaſed, there the parties ſo matched liue together in a ioyfull agreement and liking the one of the other, there God is honoured and ſerued in ſynceritie and truth, there the children, when God giueth them, with the reſt of the familie are inſtructed and brought vp in the knowledge of religion, and grounds of faith: ſo on the other ſide, the regard of that which God eſpecially cōmandeth, being ſhut out of our mariages, there muſt needes enſue his diſlike, and diſpleaſure, there is iar and diſcord, there Gods honour is neglected, there houſhold-diſcipline and chriſtian-inſtruction of ſuch as belong vntounto our chardge, goeth vtterly to wracke, and is nothing at all regarded. And no marueil: for, if where God bleſſeth, all thinges goe well and doe proſper, then conſequentlie where he curſeth, there nothing thriueth, hath good ſucceſſe, or goeth happily forward.

Now if anie ſhall ſuppoſe that theſe ſpeaches are but wordes of courſe, & carrie a gallant ſhew, without any ſubſtance or proofe of matter, pointing rather vntounto ſuch an order as we would hauehave, or wiſh to be obſerued in the matches of our children, then ſhewing by good euidence that ſo it ought indeed and of right to be, it is now time that we drawe ſomewhat neerer vntounto the queſtion, the which vponupon waightie conſideration we hauehave taken in hand,The principal drift and purpoſe of this Treatiſe. & by Gods aſsiſtance mean to prooue: which is, that children may not mary without the conſent & agreement of their parentes. And this I hope ſhall in ſuch ſort be performed, as that it ſhall plainlie appeare, that not only the conſent of father & mother is chieflie requiſite in the caſe of mariage, but alſo in the former ages and more ancient times of this world, alwaies declining from better to worſe, that the choiſe it ſelfe of wiues for the ſonnes, and husbandes for the daughters, reſted wholly in the power & authoritie of the parentes, inſomuch that not onelyonly the better ſort of the children of the godlie referred the whole care of their beſtowing this way vntounto the prouident election of their fathers and mothers, but the verie heathen themſelues that were not altogether paſt grace, and had cleane ſhaken of the yoke of dutiful obediēce, would not ſo much as once vouchſafe to heare of the motion of any match for themſelues in the ſtate of wedlock, except the choiſe of their fathers & mothers had gon before.

Firſt then I willay this down for the foundation, whereupon the reſt of the building ſhall be framed, the which is granted and agreed vponupon among all the learned: namelie, that howſoeuer the minde of man ſince and through the fall of our firſt parentes, is blinded and darkened,God hath planted certaine generall principles, & groundes of true thin the hearts of all men. yet God hath left ſome ſmal & general ſparkles of light in the ſame, the which the verie heathen hauehave acknowledged, and receiued for vndoubted trueths, and there is none ſo blunt and ſhameles, that he can gaine ſay them, as for example: That we ought not to hurt or wrong any man: That we muſt giuegive to eueryevery one that which is his. And (which is the head and chiefe of all, concerning our outward behauiour, and ſuch dealinges as vſuallie doe fall out betweene man and man) Doe not that vntounto another, the which thou wouldest not hauehave to be done vntounto thy ſelfe. with many other ſuch like, the which we otherwiſe tearme The law of nature, or of nations, be cauſe they are naturallie engrauen and written in the heartes of all men,Rom. 1.13. and approoued and receiued with the generall conſent of all nations, yea and that ſo far foorth, that thoſe which do violate and breake them were worthy of death, as the bolie Apoſtle himſelfe ſomewhere in wordes doeth teſtifie and witneſſe: if therfore it be a principle that no man doubteth of, That we ſhould doe as we would be done vntounto, and that we ought not to doe vntounto others that thing, the like wherof we would be greeued and offended, they ſhould doe vntounto vsus:The firſt reaſon from the law of nature I appeale to the conſcience of all graceleſſe ſonnes and daughters, as now a …aies (the more is the pitie) in too great multitudes betroth themſelues in mariage without the priuitie, nay againſt the will of their fathers and mother, whether that they would take it in good part at the hands of their children, if they ſhould in like maner prouide themſelues of wiues and husbands, their good wil and conſent being not firſt obtained before, if there bee none hauing any conſcience at all, but that the ſame dulie examined euerie night when he goeth vntounto his bed, telleth him that he woulde not thus himſelfe be ſerued: let this rule then be ſufficient to teach him, that he alſo ought not to marie without the well liking and agreement of his father and mother. Wouldeſt not thou whatſoeuer thou art, that thy childe, if thou carrie any fatherly mind towards him, ſhould in his matching and marrieng be aduiſed and directed by thee? And dareſt thou affiance and aſſure thy ſelfe vntounto an other in the moſt honorable and holie eſtate of mariage, without the knowledge and counſell of thy father? Thou thy ſelfe the more dearly and tenderlie thou loueſt thine owne childe, the more deeplie wilt thou bee touched with griefe and ſorrowe in thy verie innermoſt bowels and affections, he, if he beſtowe himſelfe contrarie to thy liking, and can thoſe that begat thee, thinkeſt thou, reioice and bee glad, when thou haſt wedded contrarie vntounto their mind and good liking? Doe therefore as thou wouldeſt be done vntounto: Marie with the conſent of thy parentes, as thou wouldeſt that thy children ſhould doe with thine. And as thou wouldeſt not that thoſe vnderunder thy gouernment ſhould ioin in matrimonie againſt thy will, ſo in any caſe take heed, that thou contract not thy ſelf according to thine own pleaſure, but ſtay for the direction and good aduice of thy father, for it is an hard matter to hauehave the teſtimonie of thine owne conſcience to bee alwaies accuſing thee that thou haſt done amiſſe, and contrarie vntounto that obedience, the which thou oweſt vntounto thy ſuperiours, and lookeſt alſo that thy children ſhould performe vntounto thee.

Secondlie, that theſe priuie contracts, that is to ſay,The ſecond reaſon taken from the authority of parents ouer their children ſuch as are made in ſecret, or in corners, or otherwiſe in place neuer ſo publique without the conſent of the parents, are not lawful, may this way more plainly appeare, if we weigh & conſider, that children are not at their owne libertie, & diſpoſition, nor (as they ſay) their owne-men, but vnderunder the authority and power of their parentes, like as ſeruantes are at the diſpoſing of their maiſters. Nay they are ſo much more bound vntounto their fathers & mothers then ſeruants are, or can be vnderunder the power of their maiſters, by howe much next vnderunder God, they do ovve their verie being vntounto thoſe that begat them, vvhichwhich they doe not vntounto their maiſters, & therefore is the band of their obedience greater and ſtraighter vntounto their fathers, then is that of ſeruants vntounto their maiſters. Here of it followeth that thoſe vvhichwhich are alike ſubiect vntounto the gouernment of others, are alſo alike debarred from the ſame freedoms & liberties, that otherwiſe, if they were not thus ſubiect, they might enioy: but ſeruants and children are tied with a like and equall band of ſubiection inſomuch that if in this behalfe ther be any ods, it is in this, that children owe more dutie vntounto their fathers then ſeruantes vntounto their maiſters, as was prooued a litle before: they are therefore debarred from the ſame libertie and freedome, whereof enſueth, that if ſeruantes hauehave not this libertie without the leaue of their maiſters to betake themſelues vntounto others, no more may children without the authoritie of their parentes, affiance and betroth themſelues in mariage vntounto others: but ſeruants are by the lawes, as the learned doe knowe (and I ſpeake of the lawes and ſeruants,The lawes of elder times reſtrain ſeruants …o liberty at their owne pleaſure to be take themſelues to others without the leaue of their maiſters. not as they are with vsus at this day, but as they were in the more ancient and elder times) reſtrained of this libertie to place themſelues with others againſt the will of their maiſters, therefore children may not giuegive themſelues in matrimonie vntounto others without the conſent of their progenitors. And albeit that by the lawes of our own land nowe in force there bee as yet no prouiſo made againſt the matching of ſeruants without the approbation and allowance of their maiſters, yet (vnderunder the correction of others) it ſeemeth vntounto me great reaſon, that where there are no parents, euen in thoſe places the ſeruants, ſhould take the direction of their godly maiſters in this behalfe, in vvhichwhich my iudgement I am not ſingular, but can, if need be auouch mine aſſertion by the authoritie of the learned But what ſhall this neede, when as the equitie here of may bee inferred of that which we read in the books of Moſes, where, ſuch as pleaſe with diligence to conferre the places,Exod. 21. Leuit. 25. Deut. 15.12. they may eaſily find, that ſuch ſeruāte as were Ebrues, though the time of their ſeruice was ſhorter then was theirs, which were ſtrangers and of other nations, yet during the ſpace of their yeares they had to ſerue in, they were not to marie at their owne libertie, but their maiſters hand bare the chiefe ſtroke in this buſines. This courſe beeing obſerued in the Ebrue ſeruants, it will not, as I take it be gain-ſaid, that ſeruants of other people and countries, whoſe bondage in manie reſpects was far heauier, were likewiſe depriued of this libertie of marrying, during the time of their ſeruitude and thraldom, without the appointment of their Lordes and maiſters: yet hereby is not meant to preiudicate or impeach, much leſſe to controlle the libertie of our lawes, or law-makers, in ſuch caſes as God hath left free vntounto them, but onelyonly out of that which God himſelfe ſet downe vntounto his owne people in debarring ſeruants, as ſeruants to make their owne choiſe in caſes of mariage, to prooue that children, which are in as great or rather greater ſubiection vntounto their fathers authority, are likewiſe bound by as hard a band to tarie for the conſent of their parentes in their contractes of matrimonie.

Thirdlie, the great ſoueraintie,The third reaſon taken frō the large iurildiction and power the which in ancient times hath bin permitted vntounto parentes ouer their childrē, the which cuſtome, albeit that it be not ſimply to to be allowed yet it proos ueth their for ueraintie in other matters to be wel per lourmed by their children without any inconuenience. rule & power that by the law of Moſes was giuen vntounto the Iewiſh fathers ouer their children, and by the ordinances of the Romanes to the parents ouer their ſonnes and daughters, by vertue whereof the one in caſes of neceſsitie might ſel their children for bondſlaues to releeue themſelues, and the other might kill them in reuenge of their owne priuate iniuries done vntounto themſelues, or publique enormities offered vntounto others, albeit that of Moſes may be thought to be permitted, like as other thinges for a time in regard of the hardneſſe of their heart, and this of the Romanes deſerue iuſtlie to bee condemned as barbarous, cruell, and ſauage, yet doe they both argue, that if parents authoritie were in thoſe times ſo large in thinges that ſeeme ſo hardlie to be digeſted, that they had a far greater authoritie in thoſe matters & duties, the which might be performed with more conſcience, and much leſſe difficultie and danger, namelie in bearing chiefeſt ſway in the mariage of their children, and in other cauſes of like dutifull obedience.The fourth reaſon from the condition of goods vntounto the power that the owners hauehave ouer the ſame

To this may be added, that the children are worthelie to be reckoned among the goodes and ſubſtance of their fathers, and that by a more eſpeciall right then any thing els, the the which belongeth vntounto their poſſeſsion, as thoſe which are more neerlie linked and ioyned vntounto them, and which coſt them more dearlie, being fleſh of their fleſh, and bone of their bone, and without whom, they had neuer bone: ſo that they owe themſelues whollie vntounto them in all maner of obedience and dutifull affection, and ſhall in ſeeking to betroth themſelues at their owne pleaſures, not regarding to hauehave the good will and leaue of their parentes, deale as prepoſterouſlie, and ouerthwattlie, as if the goodes ſhould goe about to diſpoſe the owner and poſſeſſor of the ſame, and not be diſpoſed and ordered by thoſe vntounto whom the poſſeſsion and propertie of the ſame doeth by right and equitie belong and appertaine: for it ſtandeth with great reaſon, that the owner diſpoſe of the goodes, and not contrariwiſe the goodes of the owner, which were in deed a thing verie abſurd or contrarie to all reaſon. Now if any ſhall doubt,Children are the goodes of the parents. whether that the children bee to be reckoned among the goodes of their parentes or no, he ſeemeth to bee ignorant of that point the which the deuill himſelfe well enough vnderſtood, as we may reade in the firſt of Iob, where it is ſet downe, that when God gaue him leaue to deale withal that Iob had, he medleth with his ſonnes and daughters, as well as with his ſeruants, and reſt of his ſubſtance taking them alſo to be a portion of the ſame. Wherefore euen in this that children are their fathers riches (as it is the common ſaying) they muſt not beſtow themſelues but muſt be beſtowed of their parents, whoſe goods they are. And leaſt any man ſhoulde contemne this as a weake and childiſh reaſon let him know, that the learned Father Theodorus Beza vſeth it, although not in the ſame iuſt number of wordes, yet in this verie ſelfe ſame argument, and to the ſelfe ſame purpoſe, in his booke de repudijs & diuortijs, where his iudgement may bee further ſeene to iumpe with mine fullie in this queſtion, as mine alſo in this behalfe agreeth with the opinion of al the learned.

And it ſeemeth not to bee much impertinent from this place,The fift reaſon from the vneffectualnes of vowes without the conſent of parents, and husbands in their childr… and wiues. the which wee read in the booke of Numbers concerning Vowes, where among other things we doe finde, that the vowes which were made by the children without the priuitie and conſent of the fathers, and of the wiues without the liking and allowance of their husbandes were altogether vnlawfull and of no force. And the reaſon according to true meaning of the place, is geuen by the beſt Interpreters, becauſe neither children, nor wines are ſus iur…s, that is, at their owne libertie and appointment, but vnderunder the rule and gouernment of others, namelie of their parentes and husbands. As therefore to make a vow vntounto the Lord, being in it ſelfe and of it owne nature an holy and acceptable action vntounto God, and where with he is well pleaſed, is notwithſtanding in children vnlawfull, becauſe it is ſuch an action as they onlie may performe which are free and at their owne diſpoſition, the which they are not: ſo in like maner to conſent in matrimonie, although in it ſelfe it be both honeſt & lawfull, yet is it not an action of force in children, without the conſent and allowance of their parentes, becauſe that children are not free & at their own libertie, but by the lawes both of God and man tied and bound vntounto the ſubiection of their fathers, as hath at large bene ſhewed before, and through the whole diſcourſe of this treatiſe is to be prooued alſo hereafter.

In the 22.The ſixt reaſon from the lawes in Exodus, of entifing of maids, and the fathers ſelling their daughters for ſeruants. of Exodus there is a law concerning the intiſing of maids (a practiſe this day too common, becauſe there is not diſcipline ſharpe enough miniſtred to repreſſe it) and in the chapter before going there is another cō ſtitution as touching fathers, that to releeue their owne neceſsities are conſtrained to ſell their daughters for ſeruants: by the firſt wherof it appeareth, that the contract of children without the conſent of their parentes, is not auaillable, or of anie force: and by the ſecond may eaſilie be gathered that ſeruats were not at libertie to make their owne choiſe in mariage, but that the right thereof appertained vntounto their maiſters, both places iointlie cōcluding flatlie for me, that both children & ſeruants as Res domenorum: that is, the goodes of their owners, are not, as in other caſes of leſſe waight, ſo in like ſort in that matter of greate importance, namely the beſtowing of themſelues in wedlocke for to follow the violent ſtreame of their owne pleaſing affections, but to be ordered and guided by the rule of their fathers and maiſters. I will ſet downe the ſeuerall wordes of the law in both theſe caſes, that being diligentlie obſerued and marked, fathers and maiſters may learne what was the authoritie in the mariage of their children & ſeruants, and that theſe likewiſe may vnderſtand what is their part & dutie in theſe conſiderations.Exodus. 22.16.17 The wordes for intiſing of maides are theſe: And if a man intiſe a maid that is not betrethed, and lie with her, he ſhall endow her and take her to wife: if her father refuſe to giuegive her to him, he ſhall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins. Exod. 21.7.8.9.Here is expreſlie ſet downe, that albeit the two parties were fullie agreed, yet is the match not to goe forwarde, vnleſſe the father alſo doe giuegive his conſent. Now for the father his ſelling of his daughter, to redeeme his owne need and pouertie, thus ſpeaketh the lawgiuer in the chapter afore going: Likewiſe if a man ſell his daughter to be a ſeruant, ſhe ſhall not gee out as men ſeruants doe. If ſhe pleaſe not her maister, who hath betrethed her vntounto himſelfe, then ſhall he cauſe to buy her, he ſhall hauehave no power to ſell her to a ſtrange people, ſeeing he deſpiſed or defloured her. But if he hath betrothed her vntounto bys ſenne, he duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page duplicate page ſhall deale with her according to the cuſtome of the daughters. So that ye ſee howe the maiden in this ſort ſold to be a ſeruant by her father, became by this ſale bound to the power of her maiſter, to bee at his appointing in the caſe of marrying, and ſuch was the condition of all other ſeruants by the law of God in this reſpect, and that the ſonnes alſo were not left vntounto their owne direction, no although that they were otherwiſe free, beſides that this place doth prooue the ſame, directly affirming that the father of the free ſon might betroth him vntounto his bond maid, it ſhall in his place ſufficientlie hence forward likewiſe appeare.The ſeventh reaſon drawen from the commandement: Honor thy father & mother. &c.

Beſides al this what clearer euidēce can we hauehave on our ſide, then the fift commandemét, in the which childré are cómanded to honor their fathers and mothers, with a bleſſing promiſed to thoſe which perform the ſame: wherby we gather by the nature of contraries, that there is a curſe alſo belonging vntounto all thoſe children that ſhal diſhonor them. And in that God willeth that the parentes by their children ſhould be honoured, he meaneth, that they ſhould in all humilitie and modeſtie reuerence them, with all dutifull ſubmiſsion, be obedient vntounto them, and with all willingnes ſhew themſelues thankfull for their procreation, education, ſuſtentation, and all other benefites, that vnderunder God they hauehave receiued from them, being readie by all meanes they poſſible may, foreign, that is, to imitate and expreſſe towards them the nature of the Storke, whoſe propertie (as they write of thē) is to prouide meat, and feed their dams, when through age they grow ſo olde, that they are not able for to help themſelues, that is to ſay, they muſt to their verie vtmoſt ſeeke to make them recompence and requitall of ſome part of thoſe vnrequitable paines the which their louing parentes hauehave taken with them, and make ſome a mends for the vnconteruaillable kindnes that they hauehave ſhewed towards them. But where they beſtowe themſelues in mariage without the conſent of their parentes, there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all theſe three reſpectes, that is to ſay, they neither reuerence, obey, nor ſhew themſelues thankful vntounto them. For, reuerence conſiſteth in this, that we carie towards them a certaine honeſt and modeſt ſhamefaſtnes, ioyned with abaſhfull awfulnes & ſtanding in feare of thē the which worketh in vsus a conceiuing of ſuch an opinion and eſtimation of them, as that we hauehave an eſpeciall reſpect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things, neither of a care to pleaſe them, or of a feare to offend them. Obedience herein ſheweth foorth it ſelfe, in that willinglie without murmuring or grudging we be willing to be ordered, directed, guided, and ruled by them, being readie to do all lawfull thinges the which they command vsus, & to refraine from thoſe things the which they ſhall forbid vsus. Thankfulneſſe beſides that, there are many other branches, is alwaies mindful of benefits receiued, and therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eie towards the partie by whome it hath bene pleaſured, that no diſcurteſie in any caſe bee offered, or anie occaſion miniſtred, whereby he may conceiue vnkindnes. And by this familiar deſcriptiō of theſe three heades, whereof ſtandeth chieflie the honor due vntounto parentes, we may clearlie ſee, that thoſe which in wedding tarie not for the conſent of their fathers and mothers, do neither ſtand in any awfull feare of them, as whō they would be lorn to offend or diſpleaſe, nor yet giuegive ouer themſelues in all thinges to be gouerned and aduiſed by them, or hauehave any regard that they be not cauſers to make their friendes or parents conceiue hardlie and vnkindlie of them, when as it is more then manifeſt, that in matters concerning their duety towardes their parentes, no greefe cutteth neerer vntounto the heart then this, when they entangle themſelues contrarie vntounto their minde and liking. And therefore ſuch children as match in this ſort, as it were in ſpite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent, obedient, nor thankfull vntounto them, and ſo conſequentlie they doe not honour them, wherby they incurre and runne into the curſe of God, the which muſt without true and vnfeigned repentance pull downe vponupon the heades of themſelues and their families the fearfull plagues of God. His heauie and hot indignation againſt them to their vtter ſubuerſion, decay and ruine,The eight reaſon from the place of Paule. Colloſ. 3.20.

S. Paule in his epiſtle vntounto the colloſsians, willeth children to bee obedient vntounto their parents in al things, & giueth a reaſon therof ſaying, For that is well pleaſing vntounto the Lord. Out of this place I reaſon after this maner, to prooue that the good wil of the parents muſt be ſought for & obtained by the children in their contracts of mariage. Whatſoeuer pleaſeth God, the ſame ought of al children to be practiſed ſo far foorth as it concerneth their place & calling: but to marie with thē cōſent of parents is a thing that pleaſeth God, therefore children in their mariages ought to hauehave the conſent & allowance of their parēts. That euerie one in his calling ought to labor to do that thing which pleaſeth God, I take to be a caſe ſo cleare, that no man doubteth of the ſame ſo that to go about to prooue this were as needles a thing, as to labor to prooue that water is moiſt, fire is hot, or that it is day at high noone. If any thing in the former reaſon be denied, it wil be this, that to mary with the conſent of the parents pleaſeth not God, the which although it be as euident & apparent as the former, and cānot be denied of any that hath a forehead at al (for who, except he cary a face of braſſe, can be doubtfull of this, that God is well pleaſed with the matching of children by the conſent of their parents, prouided alwaies that the mariage be in his feare the which caution is to be obſerued through out this whole controuerſie, either handled alreadie or to be touched herafter) yet for the ſake of the ſimpler ſort, the which of ignorāce for the moſt part offend in this kinde of priuie contractes, I will make this point plaine alſo after this maner. All obedience vntounto parents is wel pleaſing to the Lord, but for the ſons to take wiues, & the daughters to take husbands with the liking and approouing of their fathers and mothers, is an eſpeciall obedience vntounto them, and ſuch as all parentes wiſh euen with all their heart to hauehave in al their children performed towards them, therefore to marie with the conſent of parents is ſuch an action wherewith God is well pleaſed. The verie wordes of Paule, where he ſaieth, Children obey your parentes in all things, doe ſufficientlie warrant, that all obedience vntounto parentes is wel pleaſing vntounto God, and the ſame is likewiſe auouched by Paule before in the epiſtle vntounto the Epheſians, where ſpeaking of the dutie of children, he hath theſe words, Children obey your parents in the Lord: Epheſ. 6.1.ſetting downe this reaſon, for it is right. And that fathers and mothers do hold themſelues obeied, when their children be ruled and ordered by them in the choiſe of their wiues and husbands, is ſo euident, that no man can gainſay it. It muſt therefore needes follow, that God is well pleaſed, when they do get them yoakefellowes with the conſent of their parents. Nay, as it is trueth not to bee doubted of, that God his fauour and alowance goeth alwaies with thoſe eſpouſals, or betrothings the which are ratified and eſtabliſhed with the aſſent of thoſe that bare vsus, and vntounto whom we doe owe our being, becauſe that herein we do perform a chiefe point of obedience, the which God looketh for, and requireth at our hands: ſo on the contrarie, whē we ſhal ioin our ſelues in the band of matrimony, & make no reckoning of the authoritie of our ſuperiours, ſtepping in betweene, God cannot behold thoſe bridals with a cheerefull and a ſmyling countenance but is diſpleaſed, and frowneth at the ſame, becauſe that we hauehave forgotten ourſelues in a principall part of our child-like and dutiful obedience. For if we muſt ſubmit our ſelues, and lay downe our handes vnderunder the feet of our parentes in all things, yeelding our obedience in the verie ſmalleſt cauſes, becauſe God hath ſo commanded, as the Apoſtle fully in ſo many wordes doth clearly teach vsus, then doubtles much more in the caſe of marying (a matter of ſuch force & importance, as whereupon for the moſt part dependeth our making or marring) we ought willinglie to put our necks vnderunder the wholſome yoake of their fatherlie power, vponupon whoſe conſent or refuſall lieth the eſtabliſhing or diſanulling of our handfaſting our ſelues without their agreement thereunto.

But it will here be replied,The ninth reaſon, together with the anſwering of an obiection concerning the reſtraint of childrens obedience. that Paule himſelfe in a kind of ſhew of ſome contrarietie, reſtreineth the general obedience of children commanded in the third to the Colloſsians to to bee perfourmed vntounto their parentes in all thinges and draweth the ſame into a more ſtraight and narrowe compaſſe in his Epiſtle vntounto the Epheſians, where he will hauehave their dutie to bee no further yeelded vntounto them then in the Lord, and therefore vnleſſe it may plainlie be prooued, that to hauehave the conſent of parentes in mariage is a thing commanded by the word of God, children are freed & ſet at libertie from giuing obedience thereunto. I anſwere, that the one place is a good comment and expoſition vntounto the other, ſo that this precept: Children obey your parentes in all things, ought worthelie to bee expounded by that other: Children obey your parente; in the Lord: that is (as I expound it, letting goe all other interpretations) in all ſuch thinges as are not againſt the Lorde, or which in the Scriptures are commaunded by the Lord. Which interpretation I doe the rather imbrace, becauſe I ſee it to bee warranted by the anſwere the which Peter & Iohn in the Acts doe make vntounto the chiefe rulers of the Synagogue, whereby they excuſe themſelues for not obeying their inhibition forbidding them to preach any more in the name of Ieſus, ſaying, Whether it be right in the ſight of God, to obey you rather them God iudge ye. Whereby we are taught, that not onelie in the commandements of our parentes, but alſo of all other our ſuperiours be they Kinges, rulers or Magiſtrates of any other condition whatſoeuer, all which are comprehended vnderunder the name of parentes, that if they inioine vsus to do any thing a gainſt that obedience the which we owe vntounto God, we are not indeed violētlie to reſiſt, but we muſt with patience abide ſuch puniſhment as they ſhall lay vponupon vsus, rather then in obeying them we ſhould diſobey God, vntounto whom of good right wee are bound aboue and before al others be they of neuer ſo high and excellent places. For there is a double obedience, that is, a certaine firſt, chief, & moſt ſoueraign obediēce the which is proper and belongeth vntounto God, and a ſecundarie or inferiour obedience the which is due and appertaining vntounto men.A moſt geneneraral rule the which ad mitteth no exception. So that in all our actions what ſoeuer belongeth vntounto this life this is a moſt generall rule the which admitteth or receiueth none exception: God must be obeied before, or rather then men. To returne therefore vntounto the matter in hand, the obedience of children to their parentes muſt (I grant) be limitted and bounded within the railes and liſtes of our obedience peculier vntounto God, that is to ſay, Childrē are no further to obey the commandements of their parentes, then ſo far foorth as the ſame be anſwerable and agreable vntounto the commandements of God. But this neuer a whit relieueth their bad and vnfollowable courſe the which in marriage will be their owne caruers, and make their owne choiſe without the conſent and allowing of their parents, the which, beſides that hath hither to bene alleaged, we wil yet further more largelie and more expreſlie prooue out of the word of God, and confirme, that ſo it ought to be.

And now are we come indeed vntounto a more higher, and neerer point, and the which will ſeeme ſtranger both vntounto a great ſort of parents, and alſo ſerue verie ſtronglie to curbe the vnbrideled & ſtay-les affections of an infinite number of inconſiderate and vnaduiſed youthes (if by the warrant of the word of God they may be ſtayd) when as it ſhall bee plainlie laid downe vntounto them, that not only they are in their handfaſtinges & making ſure in mariage to hauehave the conſent of their fathers and mothers, and that, not ſeeking for the ſame, they breake Gods commandement, but alſo when it ſhall be ſhewed, that choiſe of wiues and husbands for them, is not in their power, but in the authoritie of their fathers, and that this, both in plaine wordes is ſet downe in the ſcriptures, and may moreouer be prooued by many examples as a generall vſe and cuſtome to hauehave bene obſerued not onelyonly of the godlier ſort among the Iewes, but alſo among the gentiles, which had no other direction but the law of nature: When I ſay, it ſhall be euidentlie prooued, that the choiſe in mariage, of husbands and wiues for their ſonnes and daughters, was in the Parents, and not in the children, I thinke there will no queſtion at all afterwards bee made, whether the conſent of the parents be requiſite to be had or no in the mariage of their children, foraſmuch as if it be not in the children to make their owne choiſe, much leſſe may they marie without their parents liking:Children in mariage may not make their owne choiſe, therefore much leſſe ought they marie without their friends conſent. for thoſe that of themſelues may not doe the leſſer, cannot be ſaid to bee at their owne libetie to doe the greater: but children in matters of mariage may not do the leſſer, that is, make their owne choiſe, which is a leſſe thing then to marie without conſent, therefore it muſt of neceſsitie follow, that in marying they muſt hauehave the conſent of their parentes.

That children may not make their owne choiſe in marying, I prooue after this maner: No childe may take vponupon him the duetie and office of his father: To make choiſe of husbandes and wiues for ſonnes & daughters in mariage, is the duetie and office of fathers: therefore children in mariage may not make their owne choiſe, and ſo conſequently may not marie without the cōſent of their fathers. The firſt, that children may not take vponupon thē the office of their fathers, I take as graunted. The ſecond, that parents ought to take wiues vntounto their ſonnes, and husbandes vntounto their daughters, I will prooue by the commandement of God in ſundrie places, and by manifeſt reaſon drawen from thoſe places. And in this point, If I beſtow the more labour, I ſhall the rather be borne withall, becauſe it is the moſt waightie part of al this diſcourſe, wherin, if I ſhal happely, or rather vnhappilie, of anie be deemed tedious or ouerlong, the profitableneſſe of the matter, if God giuegive grace, that being of ignorance in the moſt neglected before, it may now vponupon knowledge be put in diligent practiſe hereafter, ſhall eaſily (I truſt) procure my pardon. And my good hope and earneſt prayer alſo is, that this my trauaile ſhall not be in vaine, but that al godlie fathers and mothers ſeeing clearly at the length what charge by God himſelfe is laide vponupon them, will be carefull in time to make meete choiſe for their children, & that all dutifull and obedient ſonnes and daughters vnderſtanding that it is no deuiſe of man, but the expreſſe commandemēt of God that their fathers & mothers ſhould prouide thē wiues & husbands, wil ceaſe henceforth to take vpō them the office of their parentes, and with all willingnes, be contēt to ſtand in theſe caſes to the choice of their elders, which they ſhall make for thē in the feare of the Lord, & agreably vntounto his word, or at leaſt wiſe in no caſe aſſure themſelues, vnleſſe themſelues be ſure of their conſent.

Now let vsus ſee the places of Scripture, by which it may appeare that the choiſe of husbands for the daughters, and of wiues for the ſonnes is by the commandement of God himſelfe laid vponupon the parentes,Places of ſcripture proouing that parēts ought to prouide wiues & huſbāds for their ſonnes and daughters. Deut. 7.3. concerning which matter, in the booke of Deuteronomy we read thus. Neither ſhatt thou make martages with thē (he ſpeaketh of the ſeuen nations, the which by the Iewes were vtterly to bee rooted out) neither giuethy daughter vntounto his ſon, nor take his daughter vntounto thy ſonne. Here God giueth an eſpecial charge vntounto al fathers among the Iewiſh natiō, that at no hand they ſhould place in mariage, citheir their ſonnes with the daughters of thoſe nations, or take of their ſons to be husbands for their daughters, the which precept had bin in vain, if they had not had this power and authoritie ouer their children, or if their ſons and daughters had bene at their own libertie in theſe caſes to hauehave made their owne choiſe, for they might eaſilie hauehave replied, that their children in theſe pointes were not to be at their command, and the children might hauehave complained of the hard dealing of their fathers in debarring thē their right in making their owne matches, if any ſuch priuiledge had belonged vntounto them: but the fathers neither taking any exception againſt God, to excuſe themſelues from this dutie, nor the ſonnes pleading that by this lawe their intereſt ſhoulde be impeached, doth argue ſufficientlie that it was the ordinarie courſe of that time for parentes to giuegive their children in mariage, and that their children were wel content with their fathers doings in this behalfe.

It will here peraduenture be ſaide, That God by making this law, Obiection. ſetteth not downe an order the which he would hauehave generally to be obſerued of the parentes in all matches of their children, yea euen with their owne people and nation, but onelie directeth them what they ſhould doe concerning mariage of their ſonnes and daughters among thoſe ſeuen accurſed nations, & this alſo to preuent a miſchiefe, leaſt that by making and ioyning any ſuch affinitie, they might be pulled and drawen away from the true worſhip and ſeruice of God vntounto idolatrie and ſuperſtition. I anſwere, Anſwere. that God, when he gaue vntounto them this commandement, had indeed an eſpeciall regard to meet with before hand this danger of hauing his people caried by ſuch matches to run a whoring after ſtrange Goddes, but this notwithſtāding prooueth not, that the fathers libertie to place his children in wedlock was not general amōg the people of his own nation, but that hee had this authoritie to reſtraine them onelie from marying with that wicked people for feare of ſpirituall infection and pollution: for that they had this power ouer their children in prouiding the marriage euen within their own land, and limits of their owne countrie, it is moſt clearlie to be ſeene in the laſt chapiter of the booke of Iudges, where the Iſraelites hauing geuen that great and fearfull ouerthrowe vntounto their brethren the Beniamites, for their maintainance of that moſt horrible outrage in defiling in verie ſhamefull and beaſtlie maner of the Leuites concubine, bound themſelues by a ſolemne oth, and ſware, ſaying: None of vsus ſhal giuegive his daghter vntounto the Bentamits to wife. This oath for my part (reſeruing to others their contrarie iudgment) I doe not in anie caſe allowe, but condemne the ſame as raſh, and vnaduiſed, the which trulie repenting themſelues of their raſhnes, they might with farre better conſcience hauehave broken then kept, and I could alleadge many reaſons to confirme mine opinion, but that is not appertaining to this preſent argument, neither yet any part of my purpoſe in this place, nor at this time, onelyonly I bring it to ſhew, that hereby it is manifeſt that they made no doubt of their libertie in diſpoſing of their children in mariage, nor of their readines to obey them in that behalfe, for if they might not ouerrule them in this matter, or their children had bin to make their owne choiſe, they had bene worthy of double blame, both in taking vponupon them the placing of their daughters, and alſo in binding thēſelues with an oth for the due execution and performance of that thing,The raſhneſſ of the Iſrali… taketh not a way their ri… in making choiſe for th… in their ma… ages. the which they had no right to lay vpō them.

And howſoeuer it be that this place may be thought of ſome, not of force ſuffiicient to warrant this authoritie of Parentes, in making the choiſe for their ſonnes and daughters in their marriages, becauſe the oath was taken vnaduiſedlie (albeit that their offending in one thing, be not plea good inough to disfrauchize them of their freedome and libertie in an other thing) yet if the cauſe had bene good, it ſhall appeare by an other place, that they might by oath hauehave bound themſelues for the not giuing of their daughters in mariage, whereby may bee gathered that the choiſe in theſe caſes lay in the parentes, and not in their children: for herein they fault in this action, not that they ſeeke to keepe their right and authoritie in prouiding for their children, but in that they make an oath both raſh, and full of crueltie againſt their brethren.

Now that the choiſe was in parents of prouiding wiues & husbands for their children and in ſuch ſort, that they might in honeſt & godlie matches bind themſelues ſo to do, it is certaine by that which we reade in the laſt chapiter of the booke of Nehemiah, who cauſed manie of them that were returned from the captiuitie, not onelyonly to take an oath that they would not take wiues vntounto their ſonnes nor husbands vntounto their daughters of the ſtrange nations there ſpecified, but alſo made them to curſe and ban themſelues, and to wiſh heauie iudgmentes and plagues of God to fall vponupon them, if they ſhould doe the contrarie.

That the mater may be out of all doubt & controuerſie, it ſhall not grieue me to ſette downe the wordes as they lie in the text:Nehem. 13.23.24. In thoſe daies alſo (ſaieth Nehemiah) I ſaw Iewes that maried wiues of Aſhdod, of Ammon, and of Moah. And their childrē ſpake halfe in the ſpeech of Aſhdod, and could not ſpeake in the Iewes language, and according to the language of the one people, and of the other people. Then I reprooued thē, and curſed them, and ſmote certaine of thē, & pulled of their hair, and took an oth of thē by God: ye ſhall not giuegive your daughters vntounto their ſonnes, neither ſhall you take of their daughters vntounto your ſonnes, nor for your ſelues. Whoſoeuer ſhall with him ſelfe weigh and conſider of this moſt excellent and worthy man, of his true godlineſſe and zeale in religion, of his great care & forwardnes to build vp the citie and Temple, of his faithfulnes in his gouernment and rule ouer the people committed to his charge, he may not go about to offer vntounto him this iniurie, inſomuch as once dreaming that a man of his holines, religion, zeale, wiſdome, and godlineſſe would ſo much as make the very leaſt motion of any vnlawful matter to his people, much leſſe enforce thē by oath to enter into ſuch a courſe, whereby they might eaſilie hauehave bin periured had they not in this caſe well knowen their fatherlie power ouer their children, and bene perſwaded of their tractable readines in this matter to bee ruled by them. Such was the diſcipline of that time, and in ſuch awe ſtood dutifull children vntounto their louing fathers in thoſe daies, that being therennto required by the magiſtrate, they durſt not onelyonly pawne their credit, but that which more is, giuegive their oath, and hazard their conſcience, vponupon the aſſured confidence wheich they repoſed in their childrens willingnes to betake & betroth themſelues vntounto ſuch yoke fellowes as they ſhould appoint and make choiſe of for them in honeſt matrimonie to lead their liues withall. Yet doe I not thinke the contrarie, but that in thoſe ages, like as in our time there were many both ſonnes and daughters, which are like vnrulie coltes and vntamed heifars could not be brought vntounto this paſſe, nor yet be yoked within this bow, but the ſturdie frowardnes of ſome certaine, is no diſproofe of the dutifull obedience of the better ſort, neither was there anie more required of the fathers, then that according vntounto God his commandement, ſo far as in them lay, they ſhould doe their partes to keep their children within this compaſſe: that is to ſay, they were to prouide matches for them within their owne people, to charge them in regard of that honour, the which by God his commandement they did owe vntounto them, that they yeelded vntounto their fathers choiſe, and hauing gone thus far, they hauehave ſufficientlie done that which vntounto them belonged, and for the reſt, they were to leaue their rule leſſe children vntounto the iudgmēts of God, and correction of the magiſtrate, who in caſes of diſobedience, where the authority of parents could beare no ſway,Deut 21, 18. was by God himſelfe appointed to miniſter correction according vntounto the qualitie of the tranſgreſsion.

To make an end of this ninth reaſon, in the which I may be thought to hauehave dwelled too long,Almoſt ſtrong place our of Ieremie to proue that that the choiſ was in parents to prouide ſit matches for their children in mariage. I will ſhut vp this place with an authoritie taken out of the prophet Ieremie, & with the iudgment of M. Caluin (a moſt worthie inſtrument of Chriſt his Church in our time) vponupon the ſame, the which ſhall ſtrike this matter ſtone dead (as they ſay) and ſo goe on to other proofes, and theſe ſhall ſerue as a ſtrong naile to faſten all the reſt together, & to make ſure all the other teſtimonies of ſcripture in this foreſaid ninth reaſon, already quoted, for the faithfull alleadging of the which places, vntounto ſuch end and purpoſe, and by the holie Ghoſt they are directed, beſides that, I hauehave the teſtimonie of a cleare conſcience to beare witneſſe of my fearfull carefulneſſe to deale ſincerelie and faithfullie in the handling of the word of God, If I ſhall be therunto at any time hereafter vrged, I can bring alſo the confirmation of the beſt and moſt learned writers.

Ieremie in the 29 chapiter of his propheſie among other reaſons the which hee vſeth to comfort the people in their long & hard captiuitie,Ievem. 1….6. and to put them in hope that they ſhall aſſuredlie return, at the length ſpeaketh vntounto them by the commandement of God after this maner: Take you wiues, & beget ſons & daughters, and take wiues for your ſonnes, and giuegive your daughtes to husbands, that they may beare ſonnes and daughters, that you may be encreaſed there and not be diminsſhed. VponUpon this place Caluin writeth after this maner. Wheras (ſaieth he) the prophet willeth them to take wiues for their ſons, and to giuegive their daughters to be maried, this is according to the lawfull order and courſe of nature, becauſe that this were too prepoſterous, or ouerthwart and topſituruy dealing, that yoong men and maidens, ſhould get them either husbandes or wiues at their owne luſt and pleaſure. God therefore in this place ſpeaketh according vntounto the common rule, when as hee commandeth yoong men to be linked in matrimonie no otherwiſe, but by the commandement of their parentes: and maidens alſo not to marie any husbands, but ſuch as to whom they ſhal be giuen. Here you may ſee in few words confirmed that,Four eſpeciall poyntes to be noted out of the wordes of Calum. which in ſo manie I hauehave at large ſet downe before: where firſt it is to bee noted, that childrens marying according to the choiſe of their parentes, is a thing commanded by God. Secondlie, that it is agreeable vntounto the law of nature. Thirdlie, that it was a generall rule and common practiſe. Fourthly, that the contrarie dealing is prepoſterous and ouerthwart, and as far out of ſquare and order, as if the cart ſhould bee placed and ſet before the horſe. And marke further, that in all theſe places cited in this ninth reaſon, God ſaith not,It is a cōmandement, & not a permiſsion, that parentes in mariage ſhould make choiſe for their chils dreſt. that parentes if they wil, may prouide wiues for their ſonnes, and husbandes for their daughters: That it were meete and requiſite that it ſhould be ſo, but vſeth euerie where the imperatiue mood, that is, commandeth that it be ſo, and leaueth it not at randome to our diſcretion to chooſe whether we will hauehave it to bee ſo, or otherwiſe, to that end that we ſhould knowe, that if wee that are parentes ſhall neglect our duties in this behalfe, wee ſhall not paſſe away with the matter ſlightlie and lightlie, as if it were a leſt & a trifle, but that we ſhall anſwer for it, as for a tranſgreſsion and breach of his commandement.

Hauing therefore giuen this breefe caueat and warning blow vntounto fathers and mothers to think hereafter more aduiſedlie vponupon their duties in beſtowing of their children, I take my leaue and farewell of this reaſon, giuing al yoong men and maidens in like maner to vnderſtand, that if they ſhal henceforth refuſe to be ordered and directed by their parentes, they ſhall be found rebels againſt God, tranſgreſſors againſt the law of nature, breakers of the common rule and cuſtome of all well gouerned children, and ſuch, ſo far as in them is, would bring in al confuſion and diſorder, in altering and changing Gods owne courſe, to ſet vp and eſtabliſh their owne vnbrideled luſt and lawles affection.

Hitherto we hauehave ſeen how farreforth the Scriptures, and places of the old Teſtament, doe ſtand firmely on our ſide, for the proofe of this queſtion, the which we hauehave taken vponupon vsus, namely t…at mariages are not to bee made without the conſent of parents, the which as we perſwade our ſelues, wee hauehave proued with the a du…intage, ſhe wing that not onelyonly children, in mariage ought to hauehave the good wil & leaue of their fathers & mothers, butalſo, if we ſnal look more neerlie into the cauſe, that the choiſe in mariage belong vntounto them Now in …he tenth place I wil make this plaine alſo, by one cleare teſtimony and witnes out of the newe Teſtament, the which I take from out of the ſeauenth Chapiter of the firſt Epiſtle of S. Paul vntounto the Corinthians, whoſe wordes be theſe:The tenth reaſon out of the words of Paule. 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38. But if any man thinke that it is vncomly for his vingin, if ſhee paſſe the flowre of her age, and neede ſo require, let him doe what he will, reſin…eth not, let them be maried. Neuertheles he that ſtandeth firme in his heart, that he hath no neede, but hath power ouer his owne will, and hath ſo decreede in his heart, that he wil keepe his virgin, he doeth well. So then he that grueth her to martage, doth wel, but he that giueth her not to mariage doth better. The purpoſe of Paul in this place is to giuegive counſel vntounto patentes, what courſe they were beſt to take for their children concerning their beſtowing of them in mariage, or letting them remaine ſingle, according vntounto the aſſured and certaine knowledge that they hauehave of their abilitie to liue chaſt, or their neede, otherwiſe to vſe that lawfull remedie, the which God hath ordained againſt fornication, which is to marie, ſo that thoſe which hauehave the gift of chaſtitie, hee would not hauehave conſtrained to ioine themſelues in wedlocke, nor thoſe which are not able to be forced to liue ſingle. This is brieflie the ſumme of the place. Concerning thoſe children that cannot liue ſingle, hee willeth their parentes to looke vntounto them betimes, leaſt that their too long differring and delaying the matter breed ſome inconuenience. And this is it that hee ſaieth: If ante man thinke that it is vncomely for his virgine, if ſhee paſſe the flower of her age, and neede ſo require, let him doe what he will, he ſinneth not: Let them marie. Which laſt clauſe plainely teacheth, that looke what is ſaide of the daughter, is to be vnderſtood alſo of the ſon: for one cannot be maried alone. Speaking therefore in the plurall number, he meaneth as well the ſonnes as the daughters, touching whom this is his counſaile: That parente… when their children come once to ſuch yeares, that they are readie to marie,The ſumme o… the Apoſtle … his counſai… vntounto paren… in time to p… uide fit ma… ches for th… children. ſhould in due time hauehave conſideration hereof, not giuing occaſion, by cauſing them ſtay too long, either to bee derided, or laughed to ſcorne as ſtale bachelers, or otherwiſe to bee ſuſpected of bad husbandrie, or huſwifrie, or of pride and diſdaining all others, being ſo nice & coy, that they think none fine enough to match withal, or that there is in them ſome ſecrete & hidden vice or infirmitie the which maketh them vnfit for mariage, or otherwiſe of couetouſneſſe, becauſe they are loth to depart with mony towards their maintenance, protracting & delaying the time longer then the nature and diſpoſition of their ſonnes & daughters will beare, ſo that by their means being thus deferred and put off, when as they are not able any longer to forbeare, their parents neglecting to prouide that remedie for them the which Go… hath ordained, they burne in luſt and commit follie. Their fathers and mothers therefore perceiuing that ſo it ought to be, that is, their children without feare of ſome inconuemence cannot tary any longer vnmatied, ought worthelie to hauehave this wiſe care for them, in time to prouide them of fit and honeſt matches. This then is the driſt of this place, that parentes ſhould by all gentle and faire meanes true out and ſearch the ſtate and diſpoſition of their children towards mariage when by reaſon of conuenient age they are fit for the ſome, and by conference and queſtioning with them, get from them howe they ſtand affected this way, and accordinglie as they ſhall hauehave ſure notice how they are giuen, to ſuffer them either to remaine ſingle, or els that they (as it is their fatherlie dutie) doe prouide for them godlie wiues and husbandes.The inconuenience that groweth by this that parents followe not Paule his counſaile in prouiding fit matches for their children Thus we ſee how pregnant and plentifull a text this is to teach that it lieth in the parents to make due choiſe for their children in the caſe of matrimonie: And becauſe that ſmall regard is had hereof in many now adaies, hēce it commeth that ſome children giuegive themſelues ouer vntounto the luſtes of the fleſh, in cōmitting ſhamefull & filthy fornicatiō: others, contrary vntounto the lawes both of God and nature, breake into the duties of their fathers, and vnnaturallie, and not child-like, without the priuitie & conſent of their parentes make their owne matches & the ſame for the moſt part ſo vntoward, that they bring the gray haires of their parentes vntounto their griefe and ſorrowe to the graue, and themſelues beſides waſtfully ſpending all that they hauehave, liue all their life long in continuall and dailie home braules, and houſhold ſtrifes and diſcordes.

You therefore that be fathers and mothers I moſt earneſtlie and hartilie exhort and beſeech you for the louelove of God and in the tender bowels and merciemercy of Ieſus Chriſt our moſt gratious redeemer,An exhortation vntounto al parents. that you will at the length awake, and rouſe vp your ſelues out of this deadlie ſleepe of careleſneſſe, wherewith you hauehave bene long oppreſſed, making litle or none accountes at all of this waightie and neceſsarie dutie of prouiding vertuous wiues and husbandes for your ſonnes and daughters, delay the time hencefoorth no longer, put in diligent vre and practiſe this wholſome counſaile of the Apoſtle, lay off all rigorous auſterenes and bitternes, and in the ſpirite of lenitie and mildeneſſe, queſtion and confer, talke and reaſon with your ſonnes and daughters, when they be come vntounto ripe veares, that you may learn how they are inclined concerning mariage, or ſole life: and if it bee ſo that you thinke, that through baſhfulneſſe and ſhamefaſtneſſe they will not dare to deale plainlie with you, nor freelie to vnfolde their mindes vntounto you as they would doe vntounto ſome of their familiars, let it not grieue you to vſe this wiſe policie to fiſh out their purpoſe by ſome of their friendes vntounto whome being great with them, they will not bee affraide to vtter the verie bottome of their heartes and inmoſt ſecretes. And when you ſhall hauehave found, that it is ſafeſt for your honor, and meeteſt for their preſent eſtate, that you prouide for thē to marie, goe about the ſame in the feare of God accordinglie, with faithfull and earneſt praier vntounto God,Gen. 24.12. after the example of the godly Steward of Abraham in the book of Geneſis, that he wil both direct you in a vertuous and chriſtian choiſe, and alſo incline and mooue the heartes of your children with all dutifull readines to ſtand vntounto the ſame, And taking the matter in hand after this reuerēt & chriſtian order, aſſure your ſelues that you hauehave performed a good work, & ſin not, for ſo Paule telleth you in plaine wordes, where he ſaith, Let him doe what he will, he ſinneth not. and a litle after, He that giueth her to marie, (meaning when the father by good triall had found out that otherwiſe ſhe cānot liue chaſt) ſinneth not. For in ſpeaking after this manner, he hath (no doubt) reſpect vntounto that courſe, the which the Lord himſelfe in his word hath ſet down, & the which alſo hath of the godlie bene practiſed euen from the beginning, as by many examples anon ſhall be ſhewed. There is therefore no danger of doing amiſſe, and of ſinning, if that you behaue your ſelues after this ſort in prouiding husbandes for your daughters, and in beſtowing of your ſonnes in honeſt wedlock. But rather on the contrary part you ſhal verie greatly tranſgreſſe and offend, if ye ſhall neglect and forſlowe your dutie in this behalfe.

And to all you that will bee counted godlie and dutifull children,An earneſt ſute vntounto all godly childs… let mee in all humble and louing manner make this earneſt ſuite and waightie motion, that you likewiſe hereafter will with all reuerence and aduiſedneſſe conſider, what dutie you owe vntounto God, whoſe order this is, that you ſhold be ruled by your parents in all thinges, vntounto whom he hath giuen ſuch high & ſoueraigne power and authoritie ouer you, that he will hauehave euen thoſe ſolemn vowes and promiſes that you hauehave made vntounto himſelfe to ſtoup and giuegive place vntounto their conſent and alowance ſtriue no longer againſt God,Num. 30. but in all willingneſſe of minde put your neckes vnderunder his yoke: enter not violentlie into your fathers right: giuegive vntounto them this honour, to thinke that they by their wiſe donie can, and for the louing care the which they beare towardes you, will prouide better for you, then you can doe for your ſelues: remember that you are called after Chriſt by the glorious name of Chriſtians, who was obedient vntounto his father euen vntounto the death of the croſſe, let it therefore be no griefe vntounto you to ſubmit your ſelues vntounto them in that ſame thing, whereof you hauehave in the ſcriptures ſo manie notable and honourable preſidentes: if they ſhall be thought ſlacke in prouiding for them in due time, labour by all modeſt meanes that by ſome friendes they be put in mind of their duetie: ſince God hath commanded them to make choiſe for you, beſtow not your ſelues without their conſent but humble your ſelues by deuout and faithfull praiers before the throne of the almighty, that he in merciemercy will vouchſafe that your naturall parentes vntounto whoſe power you are ſubiect, ſetting aſide all carnall and earthly reſpectes, may in their choiſe for you hauehave his feare before their cies, and that your ſelues may not bee caried away after your owne fancies, but by the working of his holie ſpirite bee inwardlie and throughlie mooued with a godlie, chriſtian, and pure louelove to imbrace thoſe which they ſhall hauehave choſen and prouided for you, as the godlie children in former ages hauehave done before you.

And here I will alleadge,The eleuenth reaſon from the common vſe & practiſe of the godlie in former times. for an other reaſon the generall vſe and practiſe of the godlie Fathers, Patriarches and other holie men in prouiding of wiues for their ſonnes, and husbandes for their daughters, together with the willing obedience of their children to accept and take them ſo prouided, at their handes, to ſerue to prooue that it was a common lawe among thoſe that liued in thoſe times: for the ſonnes and daughters in matrimonicall caſes to be ordered and ruled by their fathers and mothers. For the Lawyers doe holde, that generall vſe and cuſtome doe make a law. And what reaſon then is there to the contrary, but that this, the which hath ſo generallie and continuallie bene obſerued, ſhould in like maner goe and be taken for a law, the which it may bee thought that God euen hereby woulde induce and leade men vntounto, in that, when hee firſt created all things, and man laſt of all, ouer whom by the priuiledges of creation, he might worthilie claime the right and power of a father, he doth not ſuffer him at his owne choiſe & pleaſure to take vntounto himſelfe the woman, made of his ſide, but brought her himſelfe vntounto him to be his wife, by which his fact (as I doe take it) was notablie prefigured or foreſhadowed out vntounto vsus,God as a father prouideth a wife for Adam in Paradiſe. that he would hauehave earthly fathers take that courſe in prouiding for their children in mariage, the which he being our heauenlie father tooke for his eldeſt ſon Adam in paradiſe, that is, that they ſhould make choiſe of wiues and husbandes for their ſonnes and daughters, the which they ought as willinglie to receiue at the handes of their fathers, as Adam did his wife from the hand of God. If any of thoſe vnbribeled colts, the which think they may at their owne pleaſure make their own matches, ſhal for the defence and maintenance of their diſorder, dealing in this behalfe replie and ſay, that this example taken from the fact of God, doth no more warrant this courſe, the which ſo much diſliketh them,A trifling ca…ill. then it prooueth, that a father ought in like ſort to take a wife for his ſonne out of the rib of a man, and cloſe vp the place againe with fleſh, as God did in Adam: I anſwere that this is a friuolous or trifling cauill. For, as the making of Heuah of the rib of Adam, was inimitable, or vnfolowable, being a token of God his omnipotencie and almightie power: ſo the other, being ſuch as both without danger we may follow, and alſo (as hath bene plentifullie before ſhewed) wee are commaunded to followe, and now remaineth to make plaine, that the godlie from time to time did follow, might verie well be a foretoken vntounto vsus, that God in the choiſe for our childrē would hauehave that we ſhould do the like.

And this ſeemeth yet further hereby to be confirmed,God giueth Chriſt his ſon to be the huſband of his Church. that when as our firſt parents through their diſobedience and breach of God his commandement had worthelie deferued to bee turned headlong out of the earthlie paradiſe, and had further through this their traſgeſsion, loſt ſo farre as in them lay the in heritance of the kingdome of heauen, both for themſelues and alſo for all their poſteritie, when as nowe there remained no other way of recouering the ſame againe, but onelie by the meanes of a mariage to be made by faith betweene himſelfe and his poſteritie, and our Lord and Sauiour Ieſus Chriſt, the true and euer laſting ſonne of God: who knoweth not that this match before all times was concluded in the eternall and moſt wiſe counſaile of God the father, who gaue his onlie ſonne Ieſus Chriſt in time to bee borne of the virgin Marie, that he ſhould not onlie be the ſpouſe and husband of his Church, the members of his bodie, of his fleſh, and of his bones,Epheſ. 5 3…. as the Apoſtle ſpeaketh vntounto the Epheſians, but alſo of his entire and tender louelove vntounto the ſame laid downe his life for it, that it being waſhed in his owne blood, wherwith it is all to be ſprinkled by the hand of faith, it may bee preſented as a pure virgin vntounto his heauenlie father without ſpot or wrinkle. if therfore God the father made the choiſe of vsus his church to be a wife for Ieſus Chriſt his ſonne, who with vnſpeakable willingeſſe tooke the ſame at his hand, although ſinne greatlie blemiſhed and deformed, which blemiſhes and deformities he couered notwithſtanding by faith in his blood: Howe much more then ought earthlie fathers ſeeke out meet wiues & husbands for their ſonnes and daughters, whoſe duties it is to accept & like of thē after this ſort prouided & choſē for thē

But if any ſhal thinke theſe examples to be far fetcht (albeit they be vſed of men of great note in this ſe fe ſame verie argument) I will now come vntounto other preſidents,Peter Martyr in his commē taries vponupon the booke of Iudges. ſo manie as I can call to my remembrance, as I read them ſet downe in the booke of the ſcriptures.

Abraham being verie olde and ſtroken in yeares, intending to make choiſe of a wife for Iſaac his ſonne,Abraham by his ſteward prou…deth a wife for Iſaac his ſonne. who at this time was no child of himſelfe, but fortie yeares of age, without imparting his counſaile vntounto him, committeth this chardge vntounto the Stewardes of his houſe, of whom he taketh an oth for his faithfull dealing in this buſineſſe, whereas, had it either bene the cuſtome of that time, or otherwiſe law full for children in theſe caſes to hauehave choſen for themſelues at their owne will and pleaſure, it had bene moſt meete and conuenient that his father ſhould hauehave dealt with Iſaac his ſonne, & not with his ſeruant concerning.

The ſeruant, as it may appeare by his proceedings,The Steward goeth vntounto the father of Rebeccha. being wel acquainted with the practiſe of thoſe daies, dealeth not at all with Rebeccha in theſe affaires, but goeth directly vntounto her father Bethuell, at whoſe handes he doth obtaine her for his maſters ſonne. Bethuel the father,Bethuel maketh the match for his daughter. at the Steward his propounding his ſute in the name of his maſter, by and by (as one not doubtfull of the obedience of his daughter) concludeth and ſhutteth vp the match, yet like a kinde father not minding to force his childe thereunto againſt her will, calleth for her, & aſketh what ſhe ſayth therunto, who like a moſt louing childe, doeth willingly conſent vntounto her his match, and taketh her iourney to goe with the ſeruant. Iſaac, after that Rebecca is brought home vntounto him,Rebeccha ſtandeth to the choiſe o her father. entreth not into the deſperate vaine of the vnruly youths of our dayes, the which are caried away with the violent ſtreame of their head-ſtrong affections, & therfore they ſhame not to blunder out theſe or ſuch like moſt vnreuerent and vnbefitting ſpeaches: My father, ſhall my father prouide me my wyfe? is he to make my choiſe? I am to marie for my ſelfe, and not for my father, and therfore I wil be my owne chooſer: Like ſhe me, I ſeeke no further, diſlike father or mother, or all the world beſides, I weigh it not &c. you ſhall heare no ſuch thing of Iſaac. Nay he may worthely be a mirror or looking glaſſe for all ſonnes to prie into, and to behold how farre they come ſhort from his ſubmiſſe and dutifull obedience in this behalfe,Iſaac taketh Rebecca prouided for him, and loneth her. for the woman whom he neuer ſaw before, neither yet heard of ſo far as we reade, when he once vnderſtandeth that ſhee is appointed for him by the choiſe of his father, the next ſaith, hee receiued her,Gen. 24.67. and loued her, and was comforted after the death of his mother.

Iaacob being hardly menaced and threatened by his brother Eſau,Iaacob. Gen. 23.29. in ſo much that hee was coūſailed by his mother to flie away, for the ſafegarde of his life, is directed by his old and blinde father Iſaac, to goe to the houſe of his brother Laban, and from thence to take vntounto his ſelf a wife, who obeying the voice of his father, wēt vntounto his vncle Labā, & frō his hand receiueth his two wifes Leah & Rachel. Iudah one of the xii.Iudah beſtoweth his ſons in mariage. Gen. 38. Patriarchs, beſtowed in mariage his two ſons Er and Onan, and after their death putteth Tamar their widdowe in good hope, that if ſhe wil tary vntil his thirde ſonne Shelah, by reaſon of years ſhould be fit in mariage to be ioind with her, that he ſhould be a match and husbād for her, in which promiſe, albeit his purpoſe were indede to mock her, in reſpect of his inward intent priuy onelyonly vntounto himſelfe, yet Tamar in ſuch ſort taking him, as that ſhe ſuppoſed his heart and tongue to iumpe together, teacheth vsus, that ſhe was ſo far perſwaded of his fatherly authority to cō maund his ſon when he ſhould growe to age conuenient, to be ruled by him, that without ſeeking any further aſſurance, ſhee remaineth widdow, making her full and ſure reckoning, that in the end ſhe ſhould inioy him, becauſe his father, in whoſe authority hee was, to bee diſpoſed, would in truth perform his promis.Caleb diſpoſeth of the mariage of his daughter Acſah. Caleb giueth his daughter Acſah, to be a wife vntounto Othniel or Othoniel, who wāher by his valour and prowes, in taking by force of arms Kiriahtſepher,Ioſ. 15.16.17. hauing made a general proclamation, that whoſoeuer could effect that noble peece of ſeruice, ſhould obtaine her for his portion, whereby may eaſely be gathered, in what ſubiection children then were vntounto their parents, in as much as it being a thinge very vncertaine, who ſhould doe this warlike feat, yet whatſoeuer he were, whō God ſhould enable thereunto, hee made no doubt of his daughters taking him to be her husband. Amnon burning in vnordinate luſt towardes Tamar the ſiſter of his brother Abſalon,Tamar doeth acknowledg it to bee the right of he… to determine of her mari… age. when as he went about to defile her, being craftely betrayed into his handes, through the ſuttle counſaile of Ionadab his friend, requeſting him to abſtaine from offering vntounto her that great reproche and villany,2. Sam. 13. ſhee willeth him to aske her of her father in marriage.Dauid. The marriage it ſelfe I condemne as vnlawfull and inceſtuous, yet her requeſt importeth thus much, that ſhee well knewe, that ſhee was not to determine of her owne marriage, but that the right thereof belonged to her father. Sampſon,Iudg. 14. although he faulted in falling in louelove with a woman of the Philiſtins,Iudge. 14 yet the Scriptures mention, that he deſired his parents to procure her for him to be his wife. Where I would hauehave it of all youths to be well noted, after what ſort he ſped, with this his match of his owne making. But what ſhall I neede to make any longer ſtay in bringing foorth examples of the godlye to prooue this cuſtome of fathers in prouidinge mariage for their children, when as we hauehave teſtimony of the practiſe of the ſame euen among the wicked, and that out of the Scriptures alſo.Wicked parentes hauehave prouided mariages for their children and they hauehave dutifully admitted of their choiſe. For Hagar albeit that ſhee her ſelfe ſometimes had beene a ſtubborne and diſobedient ſeruant vntounto her miſtres Sarah, yet when Iſhmael her ſonne was once grown to man his eſtate, ſhee prouideth and taketh a wife for him out of the land of Fgypt. And we do not read the contrarie,Gen. 21. Gen 14 but that hee willingly doth take her at his mothers chooſing, albeit that otherwiſe he were a fierce and cruell man, whoſe handes was againſt eueryevery man, and eueryevery mans hand againſt him. Shechem the ſonne of Hamor a Lord of the Hiuites,Shechem. Gen. 34. hauing defloured Dinah the daughter of Iaacob, deſireth his father to get her of Iaacob to be his wife, which prooueth that hee both thought, that ſhe was not to bee placed in mariage, but by the appointment and allowance of her father, and that alſo he would not marrie her but by conſent and procurement of his father Hamor. And it is more then probable or likely, that this cuſtome of the parents chooſing, and the childrens ſtanding to their choiſe, was continued from that age, vpward vntounto the latter times of the Poets, and Comedy and Tragedy writers, in the generation of the Heathen and vngodly, wher houſhould diſcipline and gouernment, was not altogether ſhaken and decayed, in ſo much that the maid ſayth in Euripides, when ſhe was ſued vntounto for mariage:The maid in Euripides. My father will hauehave care of my mariage, it is not in my part to determine theſe matters. And agreably herunto reporteth Xenophon of king Cyrus, that being ſolicited and motioned vntounto a great and honorable mariage, he anſwereth,K. Cyrus. that were her perſonage neuer ſo honorable and her dowrie to the purſe neuer ſo profitable, he will not at any hand meddle in this matter, becauſe that it was a thing beyonde his reach, and belonged altogether vntounto the power and arbitrement of his parents. And this is a matter ſo common and wel knowen, that the very boyes in the Grammar ſchoole, are well acquainted therewithall out of the Comedies of Terence, and Plautus, who among the reſt make this caſe moſt plaine, that it was an ordinarie courſe in their times, that the fathers made the matches for their ſons and daughters in the way of mariage.

Hereunto agreeth all antiquity, together with the better ſort of writers in all kinde of faculties, Diuines, Schoole men, Ciuilians, Canoniſtes,The twelf reaſon from the conſent of all ages, and the better ſort of all kinde of writers. Decrees, Counſailes, yea and ſome of the Popes themſelues, who hauehave gone ſo far in theſe matters, that they doe ſtrike with the fiery thunderbolt of excommunication, ipſo fac̄to, or ſo ſoone as the dede is done (as they ſay) not onelyonly all thoſe children the which without the conſent of theyr parentes, make theſe ſecret contractes and priuie matches, but alſo all ſuch as any way with their countenance, counſaile, aſſiſtance, preſence, or any other meanes ſhall helpe, fauour, further or procure the ſame, yea ſome other of them (as the learned well knowe) do hold ſuch kind of bargaines for no mariages, but pronounce them adulteries, fornicatiōs, and whordomes. The Ciuilians ſtande ſo ſtoutelie, and luſtelye, to mainteine the parents authority & liberty in theſe caſes, that this is ſet downe among thē for a ruled caſe, (as Peter martyr reporteth) that if a woman hauehave once married with an husbande by the conſent of her parentes, and afterwardes they fall at ſuch farre, that they bee diuorced, if ſhee bee by perſwaſion moued to bee reconciled vntounto the ſame partie, and bee againe married vntounto him, that this marriage being made without the conſent and knowledge of her parentes, is altogether fruſtrate, and vnlawfull, nay if any children hauehave ſuch parentes, as be taken with Phrenſie or madnes, ſo that they cannot hauehave theyr conſent in marriage, they will hauehave them in ſuch a caſe, to obtayn the conſent of their ouerſeeres and gouernours: ſo ſincerely and ſoundlie, and agreable vntounto the worde of God, doe the ciuill conſtitutions determine of the parentes right, in the placing and beſtowing of their children in matrimonye and wedlocke.The plain and cleare iudgement of the beſt Diuines of our time, touching this matter.

And that it yet may be further apparent vntounto al men, that I am not ſingular in mine own conceite, or wedded vntounto any priuatiudgment in this argument, I will adde a few teſtimonies of the latter Diuines of our age, the which tell a round tale in this buſines, and goe not behinde the doore for the matter at all, but deliuer theyr verdicts franklye and freely without all obſcurity or darknes. And this I will the rather doe, that all parents and children, which are not vtterly voyd of al feeling, hauing of ignoraunce hitherto forflowed their duties on both ſides in this reſpect, may hēceforth, being compaſſed about with ſuch a cloude of irrefregable or vngainſaiable witneſſes, which are aboue all exception againſt, bee touched with a due & chriſtian ſorowfulnes of conſcience, the beginning of healthful repentance, ſo that they may think erneſtly vponupon the amendmēt of this gret fault, the one carefully prouiding chriſtiā matches for their children in due time, & the other in al dutiful humility, framing thē ſelues to accept of their choiſe, leaſt that being preſſed with ſuch a heauy weight of ſo many graue authorities from the lawe of nature God, and nations, there bee left no coloure of excuſe vntounto them in that moſt terrible and feareful day of reckoning, when the thoughts of our hartes ſhall either accuſe vsus, or excuſe vsus,Rom. 2.15.16 when as the Lotde him ſelfe ſhall iudge of the ſecretes of men, according vntounto the Goſpell by leſus Chriſt, ſo that it will be then in vaine for any to make the plea of ignorance, when as beſides the teſtimonye of his owne conſcience, he ſhall be conuinced by ſuch a multitude of moſt forcible & mighty euidence, which at the barre will ſtand and plead againſt him. But to the witneſſes of the new writers.Caluyn 1.

Caluin vponupon the 3 verſe of the 24. chapiter of Geneſis, among other thinges hath theſe wordes: Now this enſample ought to ſtand vsus in ſtead of a generall rule, that childrē may not contract themſelues in mariage, but by the arbitrement and appointment of their parentes. And truely this doth the equity of nature teach vsus, that children in a matter of ſuch waight ought to reſt vponupon the will and pleaſure of their parentes: by howe much the barbarouſneſſe of the Pope is the more to bee deteſted, which hath dared to breake in ſunder this holie band, wherefore the wanton malepertneſſe and ſaucineſſe of youth is to bee reſtrained, that they raſhly poſt not vntounto mariage without the counſaile of their fathers,

And againe in another place ſpeaking of Hagars prouiding a wife for her ſonne Iſhmaell: Whereas Hagar is ſaid (ſaith Caluin) to hauehave taken a wife for her ſonne,Gen. 21. verſe. 27. this appertaineth vntounto politike or ciuill gouernment. For when as mariage is an eſpeciall part of the life of man, it is meete that in making of the ſame, children ſhould be ruled by their parentes, and followe their aduiſe in this behalfe. This order, the which nature preſcribeth and teacheth, we ſee to hauehave bene kept of Iſhmaell a wild man in the barbarouſneſſe of the wilderneſſe, that in the marieng of a wife he was obediēt vntounto his mother. Wherof we doe perceiue how cruell a monſter the Pope hath bene, in that he hath aduen tured to breake this holy lawe of nature. Furthermore his ſhameleſneſſe was added hereunto, in that he hath vaunted that he giueth a priuiledge vntounto the vngodlie contempt of parentes, for the honour of holie wedlocke.

Muſculus vponupon the ſame place writeth thus: Behold the honeſtie of thoſe times. In our daies there is no need for parents to prouide their ſonnes of wiues,Muſculus againſt ſtolen mariages. when as youthes is ſuffered by a moſt bad cuſtome, to take vntounto themſelues wiues without the priuitie of their parentes, and ſuch mariages are confirmed in the Popes conſiſtories, as they tearme them. And a litle afterward: They that marie without the knowledge of their fathers and mothers, doe ſinne

1 Againſt the firſt ordinance of mariage.Let al youths diligently marke theſe thinges. Loke before Cap. 2. Gen. vponupon theſe wordes, And hee brought her vntounto Adam.

2 Againſt the commandement of God: Honor thy father and thy mother.

3 Againſt the law of nature, which is this: Do not vntounto another that thing, the which thou wouldeſt not hauehave to be done vntounto thy ſelfe.

4 Againſt publike honeſty, & good manners.

5 Againſt the ciu…ll laws, the which do condemne priuy and ſtolen mariages.

6 Againſt the holynes of wedlocke, the beginnings wherof are by this meanes defiled.

7 Againſt the examples of our elders. Here in this Chapiter. Afterwards chap. 28. And albeit Iacob loued Rachel, yet did hee not priuilye ſteal her away, but ſerued for her at the pleaſure of her father, vntill that he might receue her at his handes being lawfully deliuered.

8 Againſt youth it ſelf, the which through this raſhnes doth very gre…ly hinder & hurt it ſelf That priuy & ſtolen mariages are void and o… none effect, if the father giuegive not his conſent.

EXod 22. Although a maiden be intiſed yet ſhall ſhe not be maried vntounto him that entiſed her, if her father be vnwilling thereunto.

And Sichem the Prince of Salem, did not thinke that he ſhould obteine the mariage of Dinah in ſpite of the teeth, or againſt the will of her parents, heareafter. Cap. 74.

And becauſe that Muſculus doth refer the Reader, vntounto that which he hath further written vponupon theſe words of Geneſis, concerning this matter. And he brought her vntounto him. &c. Becauſe that this booke is in latine as the reſt of his workes, for the moſt part are, and for that eueryevery one vnderſtādeth not this tongue, it ſhall not grieue me in this conſideration for the better ſatisfiyng of the godly Reader to turne that place vntounto Engliſhe, where he writeth after this manner.

Here is to be noted, that God not only created the woman,That God himſelf bringeth the womā vntounto the man, betrotheth her, & ioineth her in mariage vntounto him. but alſo brought her vntounto Adā to eſpouſe and betroth her vntounto him, and deliuered her & ioyned her vntounto him for his wife. She was made not onelyonly of the fleſh and bones of Adā but alſo concerning kind, like vntounto him in al thingss, as well as one beaſt is like vntounto another beaſt of his kinde. Adam mought hauehave foūd her out without any great pain, & whē he had found her, becauſe of her conformity or likenes vntounto him, though differing indeede in ſexe, yet acknowledge her agreable vntounto him in all other points, ioyn her vntounto him, & vſe her for the increaſing of mankinde, like as wee ſee this to hauehave bene done by the beaſts, vntounto none of the which we doe read, that this femal was brought ſeueraly. But god would not that either Adā, or the womā ſhould do any of theſe things, vponupon their own heads. Wherefore he himſelfe ioyned them together, & brought the woman vntounto Adam, deliuered and betrothed her being formed, & made for lawful companie ſake. We are admoniſhed by this conſideration, what lawefull mariage doth require, namelie that the male and female or man and woman doe not ioine themſelues together vponupon their ownt raſhneſſe & luſt, but that they muſt be lawfullie ioined together according vntounto the ordinance of God by the aduiſe and will of their parentes and elders, whoſe partes in the ioining together of Adam & Euah God too… vponupon himſelfe. Such as are in this ſort ioined are ioined by God himſelfe, whoſe part and office the parentes and elders do rightlie and lawfullie ſupplie,God ſupplied the part of alders and parents, when as he ioined …u …h…nto Adam. after the firſt ordinance … mariage vnderunder whoſe power and authorit… thoſe that be ioined are. And in ſuch mariage that ſaying of Chriſt hath place. Whom God hath ioyned together, let no man put a ſunder. Thoſe that are ioyned together by bad practiſes, by the wicked prouocation of luſt, in reſpect of wealth, & ſo foorth, without the ordinance of God cannot glorie of lawfull ioining together. It is further required, that we be not ioined after the maner of beaſtes, as ſhe by and by bee mine, which hauing the ſhape of a woman pleaſeth my luſt, but th… I take her to wife, the which is brought vntounto me and deliuered by the Lord, & that I may ſay of her: The woman which thou gaueſt me ô God, as in Chapiter following we reade to hauehave bene done by Adam. Therefore againſt this order are fornicators, whore maiſters, keepers of Concubines,Which no wiſe ſtealer can doe. and as many as cannot with a good conſcience glorie, that they hauehave their wiues lawfullie gotten.

Peter Martyr in his commentarie vponupon Geneſis,Peter Marter vponupon Geneſis Cap. 24. ver. 58. ſpeaking of the betrothing and making ſure of Rebeccah vntounto Iſaac, writeth thus of the ſolemnities of that mariage: The ornamentes of this mariage were prayers, thankſgiuing, hoſpitalitie, the conſent of the maiden. For ſhe is not conſtrained, as it is often done by vngodlie parentes, who ſometimes violentlie force husbandes vponupon their daughters, or that which is worſe, doe thruſt them into Monaſteries or Abbeies. Nay aboue all thinges the conſent of the parentes doth here ſtep in betweene, whoſe office it is to beſtow their ſonnes or daughters in mariage, neither is it their parts raſhlie to chooſe vntounto themſelues wiues &c. For I cite him the more ſparinglie, becauſe he hath written a learned common place of this argument, the which, although it be in engliſh, yet becauſe (ſo far as I know) it is not to be had ſeuerallie, but among the reſt of his common places, being a booke of too great a price for the poorer ſort, I hauehave bene the rather induced and mooued to labour alſo in this queſtion, and that (as I truſt) not without ſome profite vntounto the godlie diſpoſed, the which ſhall vouchſafe to read the ſame.

Marlorat after he had ſaid ſomewhat concerning the choiſe of a wife,Marlorat. the which Hagar made for her ſonne, at the laſt inferreth thus: Wherefore this youth (ſpeaking of Iſhmaell) being a man growen marrieth a wife, but not but by the counſaile & authoritie of his mother, and within a litle ſpace after: What then ought the children of the faithfull to perform vntounto their parents? Doth it not beſeme and become them in making of mariage, to be led by the power and authority of their parents, that they giuegive not ouer themſelues vntounto their owne luſtes.

Ferus a popiſh fryar.To like purpoſe hath Ferus a Popiſh friar, noted vponupon Abraham his pronouncing of a wife for Iſaac by his Steward. Theſe be his wordes: Note and marke, that Iſaac ſeeketh not a wife, but Abraham prouideth him of a wife. For this is the duty of parents, and belongeth not properly vntounto the ſonnes, whoſe part it is to obay.

Borrhaus.Borrhaus vponupon the 22. of Exodus ver. 17 If the father of the maiden refuſeto giuegive her. A place for the power of parentes ouer their children in making of mariages, that theyr mariages do conſiſt in the arbitremēt of their parentes. Which thing Oreſtes in Euripides alloweth ſaiyng: And I will praiſe mariage, when as my father ſhal giuegive vntounto me awife.

Bullinger. 1. Cor. 7 36.Bullinger expounding theſe wordes of S. Paul in his Epiſtle vntounto the Corinthians: But if he thinke it vnſeemely for his virgin &c. writeth on this ſort: Hee declareth by examples that, which hee hath ſaide already, that there ſhould be no darknes in his words. And we may expound that word Virgin as wel for the perſon, as for the thing it ſelfe, namely virginity. The meaning is this, if a man hauehave a virgin marriable, and nowe ready for a huſband (for this I vnderſtand by that which hee ſayeth, if ſhee paſſe the time of mariage, the which Ambroſe tranſlateth, if ſhe be paſt ripenes of age) and hath a deſire to mary (that is it which he ſaith, and ſo it ought to be) ſo that her father is to feare, leaſt that ſecretly ſhe go about, or enterpriſe ſome thing that is not comely, vnles ſhee be prouided for by mariage, now the father ſinneth not, if hee beſtow her forth vponupon an husband, &c. And afterwards: we learne by this diſcourſe that it is the dutie of parents, to giuegive their daughters in mariage. For among them of old times, the contract of matrimony was not of any force,Mariage contractes void, without the cōſ. nt of parentes. without the authority of the parents. Whereunto that in the law of God ſemeth to appertayn, the which is commaunded vntounto the Iewes, that they ſhould not giuegive their daughters or theyr ſonnes vntounto the Heathen in mariage: the which ſhould hauehave bin in vaine, if the children had bene at theyr owne liberty, and did not rather depend vponupon the authority of their parents: yet this alſo muſt be added, that it is the part of parents in time conuenient to take order and prouide for their children, and that they compell them not either to virginity or ſingle life, or vntounto mariage.

Gualter is iuſt of the ſame iudgement vponupon the very ſame place, whoſe words are: C…aiter.But here with all, ſonnes and daughters muſt mark that by this place the power of parentes ouer their childrē is eſtabliſhed, the which as it is great in other maters, ſo here in eſpecial hath it ſoueraigne authoritie, wheras the queſtion is concerning mariage. For if they muſt prouide for their children, in like maner it is their part to obey them, leaſt that by their luſt and head-ſtrong boldneſſe they doe preuent the aduiſe and pleaſure of their parentes For alwaies ought the lawe of God to beare ſway with them, in the which they are commanded to hauehave their parentes in price and honour.Num. 30. And how great their authority is ouer their ſonnes and daughters it is manifeſt euen by this, that their parentes may diſanull and breake the vowes which their children hauehave made without their knowledge and priuitie. When as therefore GOD himſelfe vouchſafeth to yeelde of his owne right, (that I may ſo ſpeake) and will not hauehave that ratified and ſtand, the which is promiſed vntounto himſelfe, if the parentes determine otherwiſe, they doubtleſſe are to be thought to bee too raſh and wicked, who will not ſubmit their youthfull deſires vntounto the ordering and diſpoſing of their parentes. Neither may this goe for currant, that any ſhould pretend age for his excuſe. For there is no age the which ought to breake the authoritie of parentes eſtabliſhed by the lawes of nature. And Paule in this place ſpeaketh of virgins, the which hauehave now alreadie paſſed the flower of their age, and mariage yeares, and neuertheleſſe ſubiecteth them alſo vntounto the gouernment of their parents, when as he teacheth, not what they ought to doe, but what their parents ought to diſpoſe of them.The ciuill lawes. This in times paſt did the makers of the ciuil lawes deſerue, the which wold hauehave thoſe ma riages to be void, the which are made without the aduiſe and conſent of parents, vnleſſe ſome waightie caſe doe will them to be ratified and ſtand in force.

Agreeable vntounto this alſo doeth Hemingius ſet downe his iudgement vponupon this place but in fewer wordes thus:Hemingius. Now he turneth his ſpeach vntounto parentes hauing daughters of growen yeares, vntounto whom he giueth authoritie to beſtowe their daughters in mariage if they will. But that which he putteth in betweene (and ſo it ought to be) is a reſtraint, and it is to be vnderſtood thus; If the maiden be without the gift of chaſtitie it ought ſo to be: namelie that ſhe be giuen to be maried, to auoid fornication. On the other ſide if a virgine hauehave the gift of chaſtitie, it is left free vntounto the parentes to marie them, and not to marie them. From hence let parents learne, that it is not lawfull for them, to lay vponupon their children a perpetual law of chaſtitie, vnleſſe they be firſt ſure that they hauehave the gift of chaſtitie, the which verie ſeldome falleth out, vnles by ſome griefe or defect and want in nature.Beza de repudiis & diuor…lis.

Beza in this caſe is ſo ſure on our ſide, that he holdeth not onelyonly the ſtolen contracts to be void and vnlawfull, but alſo the mariage it ſelfe that followeth after the ſame to be of no force and vnlawfull But it is beſt to heare him tell his owne tale himſelfe. But what (ſaith hee) if mariage in deede hauehave followed after ſuch cōrracts? Doubtles if the cauſe be conſidered why ſuch contracts are vtterly void (be cauſe he namlie cānot conſent to the beſtowing of himſelfe, the which is not in his owne power) it wil follow that the mariage it ſelfe ought much leſſe to bee of force, as verely wherin there is required a more expreſſe and ſure conſent.

And Aretius in his common place of mariage among other things that make the ſame vnlawfull rekoneth vp the contracting of the ſame without the conſent of parentes.Aretius His wordes be theſe: That mariage is vnlawful, the which is againſt the commandement and lawe of God. And this faulteth either in the degrees forbidden: or elſe becauſe it is made vp with priuie and ſtolen contractes againſt the will of the parentes: or els when as manie wiues are admitted or taken at one time.

But we will conclude & ſhut vp this point with the teſtimonie of M. Luther,Luther. the thunderbolt of Germanie, whome wee hauehave reſerued vntounto this laſt place. not for that hee is the leaſt among my witneſſes, who worthilie ought to be accompted off euen with the verie foremoſt for his moſt profitable ſeruice done vntounto the Church of GOD, but becauſe hee doeth verie euidentlie and clearelie with great courage and boldneſſe of heart ſet downe his iudgement in this cauſe writing vponupon the 24. Chapiter of the booke of Geneſis: Therefore (ſaith hee) doe I handle this place, albeit odious or hatefull: Becauſe Iſaac doeth not marie a wife, where hee pleaſeth, but is forbidden of his father to marie one of the land of Canaan,The miſchiefs the which do growe or …riuy contracts. and his father himſelfe doeth carefullie prouide his ſonne of a wife, and his ſonne with all willingneſſe doeth obey his father. For dailie experience doeth teach, that thoſe priuie and ſtolen contractes are the cauſe of great miſchiefes, daylie braules, ſtrifes, periuries, and murthers, and alſo the moſt ſhamefull plague and garboile of the Church and cōmon wealth. So the popiſh Canoniſts do nothing els but ſeek to teare in ſunder the Church and trouble the world becauſe of their doltiſh & vnlearned Cannons. And ſhall wee ſuffer them to bring in ſo many miſchiefes into our Churches? Let the Deuill winke at this, and no other man: nay rather I my ſelfe will excommunicate all thoſe doctors, then that we will to lerate and beare in our Churches their wicked and vngodlie ſentences & iudgement.

And ſome prety ſpace after, he hath theſe wordes: The doctrine therefore of this place is, that parentes ought to prouide their ſons and daughters of honeſt mariage:When parēts do abuſe their authorltie. Although this be not to be let paſſe, that it often times falleth out in mans life, that the parentes do ſometimes abuſe their power and authoritie, and will compel their children to marie with thoſe, whom they louelove not, the which commeth often to paſſe in the great families of noble men. They are to be found fault withall, becauſe they carie no ſparke of a fatherlie mind & affection, but are blockes & ſtockes, they hauehave not that ſame natural louelove towards their children. In ſuch a caſe let the Paſtor of the Church, or the ciuil magiſtrate ſet in their authoritie Becauſe that this is not a fatherlie power, but a tyrannie. Wee therefore do ſo diligentlie vrge the authoritie of parents, firſt becauſe of the commandement & ordināce of God, the examples of the ſcriptures, and the ciuill lawes. Secondlie becauſe of that no table wickednes being vntounto al godlie and honeſt parentes verie grieuous, the which hath raunged in the world in all ages: namelie that when as they hauehave brought vp their children godly and honeſtlie, that they might be heires of their fathers goodes, after wardes there hauehave bene ſome found they not knowing of it and againſt their willes,The common …actiſe anongSt vsus at his daie. the which by diſceit and ſubtilty hauehave ouer-recht and compaſsed the maidens and honeſt yong men, that they ſhoulde by ſtealth marie with thoſe, the which were both of ſmall honeſtie and alſo vnfit for them, and vntounto their parents moſt vnwelcome.

The Pope hath ſet open a window and a broad gate vntounto theſe horrible offences,The Pope glueth leaue to ſteale away children from their parents. and hath made a way for baudes, that they might ſteale away mens ſonnes and daughters for me, for thee, for euerie one of vsus. Shall wee thinke theſe thinges to bee ſuffered, or defended? But they ſay that men muſt looke diligentlie vntounto the keeping of their children, & hauehave an eſpeciall care of them: But how can this be inſo great wickednes and vntowardnes of men? Howe eaſilie are the plaine and ſimple meaning mindes corrupted, and beguiled?

Let parents therfore remember that power and authoritie is giuen them from God to beſtow their children in mariage:Contractes uoid without the conſent of parents. and that contractes made without their conſent are not good, neither by the lawe of God nor man.

Furthermore let children knowe that they are to aske their aduiſe and to knowe their pleaſure. Let not a yoong man,A graue co… ſell vntounto al… honeſt your… whoſe age is fit for mariage, be afraid to opē his mind vntounto his parents: that he is in louelove with an honeſt maiden, and deſire, that they will geue her him to wife. For albeit this ſeeme to be a token of luſt ſcarce comelie, yet let them know that God his mercy doth couer the ſame in mariage, & hath giuen a remedie for this diſeaſe. Let them therfore humble thēſelues before their parentes, and plainelie and freelie ſay vntounto them: my deare father, my good mother, giuegive me ſuch a yoong man, or ſuch a maiden, whome I louelove. And if ſhe be worthy to be matched with thee, or worthie of thine affinitie, or thy parentes, thine honeſt parentes will not denie thee, albeit the dowrie or wealth bee not anſwerable. Such mariages cannot chooſe but bee happie and proſperous,God doth co uer & beautify luſt with neſt mariage. and God of his infinite goodneſſe dooth bleſſe, pardon, and couer the heat of luſt as it were with the couer of mariage. Yea, more ouer the holie ſcripture dooth allowe, and alleadge for example the louelove and ſpeach of the bridegroome and bride. Thus God pardonneth the filthineſſe, and miſerable luſt, wherein wee are borne, and that which more is, dooth beautifie and honeſt the ſame with lawfull mariage. But let yoong men take heede and beware of this vſuall ſtubbornneſſe and contempt of parentes, wherewithall ſome run ſtarke mad, & of a blind …age do contract vnhoneſt mariages, vnfitting both themſelues & alſo their elders & parēts. For in this place the holy ſcripture ſetteth forth a cōtrarie example, and far more honeſt, to be followed, when as Iſaac marieth Rebeccah, according vntounto the minde, will and counſail, of his father.

Theſe thinges thus conſidered, and this matter ſo generallie agreed vponupon, and confirmed alſo by the approbation and conſent of ſo manie graue, godlie, and learned witneſſes, if hen ceforward the parēts ſhal either of negligence or ſluggiſhneſſe leaue of their dutie in prouiding of honeſt matches for their children, or their ſonnes and daughters contemptuouſlie and ſtubbornlie refuſe to ſtand vntounto their godlie and chriſtian choiſe, ignorance will no longer ſerue to excuſe the fault on either ſide, but that it muſt needes follow, that the ſeruant that knoweth his maiſters wil, and dooth it not,A neceſsatie aduiſe vntounto parents. the ſame ſhall bee beaten with many ſtripes. Let fathers therfore on whom the charge by God his commandemēt lieth to take wiues for their ſons, and to prouide husbandes for their daughters, take diligēt heed herunto, that they abuſe not this their power and authoritie ouer their children, but as in other caſes, they are willed by the Apoſtle that they deal not in ſuch ſort towardes them, that they hereby bee diſmaied and diſcouraged, ſo eſpeciallie in this matter of greateſt moment and valour of all other worldelie thinges whatſoeuer, let them abſteine from all rigour and roughneſſe,Coloſ. 3.22. and beware that they turne not their fatherlie iuriſdiction and gouernment into a tyranmcall ſowerneſſe and way wardneſſe, letting their will goe for a lawe and their pleaſure for a reaſon, according vntounto that olde, but both Tiger and Tirant lyke ſaying: Looke what I commaund, that will I hauehave, my wil ſtandeth for a reaſon. For the rule of the parentes ouer theyr children, ought to reſemble the gouernment of good princes towards their ſubiects, that is to ſay, it muſt be milde, gentle, and eaſie to be borne, for as they, ſo like wiſe parents ſo far as concerneth them and lieth in theyr abilitie to performe, they muſt carrie ſuch an euen and vpright hand in their gouernement,T…lie in the ſecond book of office. that they may by louelove ſeeke to win the hartes of thoſe ouer whome they are ſet, to bee firme and ſure to wardes them, and not to keepe them vnderunder awe and ſubiection by feare. For, whom men feare, they hate, and him whom they hate, his death they wiſhe. I ſpeake of ſeruile or ſlauiſhe fear, not of that child-like and reuerent feare, the which both the ſubiects owe vntounto their Princes, and the children vntounto their parents, and the which both the one and the other eaſilie obtaine at the handes of ſuch as are vnderunder their gouernment, by their equal, vpright and moderate behauiour towardes them.

It doth therefore ſtand parentes greatly in hand,Parēts ought to deale ſincerely in the choife for their children that in making choiſe for their children they be free from all ſiniſter and corrupt affection, and that for lucre & couetouſnes they ſeeke not to thruſt ſuch matches vponupon their children, as they cannot brooke, nor like well off: for now adaies in the choiſe that a great manie parentes make of husbandes for their daughters, and wiues for their ſonnes, Et genus & forma… Regina pecunia donat: that is, if they bee ritch inough, they be both faire, wel fauoured, yea and alſo godlie and vertuous inough: they being farre ſwarued from the mind & iudgement of that father, who once ſaid concerning the mariage of his daughter, that he had rather hauehave a man without money, then money without a man: ſignifieng hereby that he rather reſpected the good qualities and vertues of his minde, then the great wealth and ritches of his cofers. Fathers therfore as they are by good right to chooſe, ſo ought they not in truth to conſtraine & compel For of al other matters, the conſent of the children in mariage ought to be moſt free, ſo that in theſe caſes, after all honeſt and lawful perſwaſions vſed, looke in what partie the fault may be worthelie thought to reſt, there the godly magiſtrate ought to put in his foot,The godlie magiſtrate. who in ſome reſpectes is not onelie in the ſcriptures comprehended vnderunder the name of a father, but alſo by his ſoueraigne aūthoritie wherewithall hee is armed from God himſelfe, is to rule both the father and all his children, and all other, that doe belong vntounto him. I am not able, neither is it my purpoſe to reckon all the colourable pretenſes that fathers which are worldlie minded can alleadge to enforce vponupon their children what yokefellowes ſoeuer they hauehave procured and prouided for them, ſo that they bee rich inough: neither yet is it poſsible for mee to ſet down all the ſhiftes, that children hauehave to ſhake off the yoke of due obedience in their fathers honeſt and lawfull choiſes. This therefore in all humilitie, euen in the bowels of leſus Chriſt I requeſt at the handes of them both, that they ſeeke not how to bee wiſe and wittie (or rather in deed) wilie how to deuiſe windleſſes and ſtarting holes to ſhrowde and hide themſelues in, when they ſhould perfourme their duties on either part in this behalfe.

The children can ſay for themſelues, w… are olde enough,The plea of ſome childrē for the m… king of their own matches. and therefore able enough to make our own choiſe: we ſee it to be dayly practiſed by others, yea and peraduenture w… doe know (as hauing hard our parents ſometimes in their merrimentes to bragge of the ſame) our fathers hauehave matched without the conſent of their parentes, and hauehave all this notwithſtanding done well ynough, and liued verie well: why therefore ſhoulde not wee alſo doo the like? The queſtion here is not,The reply. what children in regarde either … age or wit are able for to doo but what God hath thought meet & exped ēt, nay, ſtraightlie charged and commanded that they ſhould doe. For there are many children found ſomtimes far to exceede their fathers in wit and in wiſedome, yea and in al other giſes both of mind & body, yet is this no good reaſon that they ſhould take vponupon them their fathers anthoritie. The wife may not therfore be a maiſter, becauſe ſhe hath more knowledge ſometimes then her husbād, but ſhe muſt obey, & the husbande is to rule, becauſe that God hath willed that it ſhould bee ſo. And albeit that matches made without the conſent of parentes hauehave often good ſucceſſe, accroding vntounto the things which fal out outwardlie in this life, yet that is not to bee imputed vntounto this diſordered and vnnaturall courſe, but vntounto God his merciemercy that alwaies dooth better for vsus, then wee hauehave deſerued. And whereas it is ſaid, that our parents hauehave matched without the choiſe & cōſent of their parēts, therfore we alſo wil chooſe for ourſelues according vntounto our owne liking, beſides that the breach of dutie in the father doth not excuſe the like diſobedience in his ſonne:A bad ſonne, that wil hauehave his father go with him vntounto the deuil for companie. what art thou that thinkeſt it not inough that thou goe vntounto the Deuill thy ſelfe vnleſſe thou hauehave thy father to go with thee alſo for companie? For as thy ſin of diſobedience, if God graunt thee not repentance of the ſame, ſhall in his iuſtice preſſe thee down euen vntounto hel. So likewiſe ſhall thy fathers marieng without the allowance of his parents, be ſufficient to condemne him, if together with the reſt of his ſinnes it bee not couered in the merites of Ieſus Chriſt our Sauiour. And the example of Iudah may fitlie ſerue to inſtruct thee in this point, that though thy father hauehave maried without the choiſe of his friendes, duplicate page duplicate page yet thou art not in like maner to marie without the cōſent of them,Gen. 38. for albeit Iudah tooke vntounto himſelfe a Cananitiſh woman without the priuitie and liking of his father Iaacob, yet did hee prouide a wife for his owne children Er, and Onan, whereby wee gather that the fault, the which hee committed in himſelfe, hee did not like nor allow of in his ſonnes.

Setting a ſide therefore all cunning gloſes and colourable deuiſes hammered in the Deuill his forge,A profitable counſaile for all good natured childrē. whereby hee teacheth his ſchollers to be ſubtile in inuenting reaſons to maintaine their ſtubborne diſobedience in not being ruled by the graue aduiſe & godlie counſaile of their parentes as touching their mariage matches, let all dutifull and good natured children in the reuerence and feare of God conſider what honour and obedience they doe owe vntounto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his worde ſanctified vntounto thē ouer their children in the Lord, in regard hereof let them yeeld, vntounto them this dutie, that their fathers hauing prouided for them ſuch as are not of a wicked life, nor deformed or euill fauoured, nor of a contrarie religion, they willinglie ſubmit themſelues vntounto their choiſe, which if for the preſent, or vponupon the ſuddain they cānot yeeld vntounto, let them by earneſt cal ling vponupon the name of God deſire him to ſubdue in them this corrupt affection & that he will frame their wil to bee plyable vntounto their fathers in ſuch lawful caſes: lawful I may well call them, becauſe that the ciuil conſtitutions and ordinances do ratifie and allow of them: the two former eſpeciallie, ſetting downe that children are to giuegive the conſent vntounto the fathers choiſe, where the partie choſen is not of infamous life,2 Cor. 6.14. nor in ſhape or fauour ſo blemiſhed, as it may worthelie bee ſuppoſed that the ſame may be an occaſion of the withdrawiug of louelove As for the third caution, or prouiſo of not grāting vntounto the fathers choiſe in the cauſe of contrarie religion, it is confirmed flatlie by the counſell of the Apoſtle, where he willeth that we ſhould not draw the yoke with infidels, which if it hold in other caſes of the affaires of this life, much more ought it to bee of force in mariage matters, mariage (I meane) hereafter to bee made and not ſuch as are alreadie made, for where the knot is once already knit, there diſparitie, or vnequalnes in religion is no iuſt cauſe of ſeperation.

Yea & in this moſt graue & waighty cauſe,In prouiding of watches for their children, par…ntes ought to begin with praier. I would be author vntounto all chriſtian parentes that they take not the ſame lightly in hand as if it were but a toy, or a ieſt, but that they begin it with praier that in the whole actiō they may in ſuch ſort be directed, that they do nothing againſt the word of God, or vnbeſeeming the ſame authority, the which God himſelf in this cauſe hath impoſed or laid vponupon them. And thus doing, God no doubt will ad a bleſsing vntounto their godlie indeuour and holie care, & worke obedience in the heartes of their children, as hee framed the heart of Iſaac with entire affection to imbrace Rebeccah, whom his father Abraham had by his Steward prouided for him. And leaſt that any ſhould imagine that this counſell is a pecuiſh fancie of a too much ſpiced and nice conſcience, the parents ought to bee induced and perſwaded hereunto,Gen. 24.7. Aben Ezra holdeth this to hauehave bene a praier. firſt by the example of Abraham, who committing the charge of prouiding a wife for his ſonne vntounto his ſeruant, praieth that God will ſend his Angell before him to direct him in this buſineſſe.

Secondlie the courſe which Abraham his ſeruant taketh in the effecting of this charge dooth teach no leſſe,Gen. 24.12. of whom we reade, that he entred into this buſineſſe with praier:Gen. 24.26. that he geueth thankes vntounto God, when hee meeteth with Rebeccah:Gen. 24.5…. that hee praiſeth God when at the deliuerie of his meſſage, the parentes without gaine-ſaieng graunted their conſent.

And whileſt I giuegive this counſell vntounto the parentes,Children mariage-able are to pray vntounto God to direct their parentes in a godly choiſe, and to incline their mindes to accept of the ſame. I woulde not hauehave the children thinke that I diſcharge them of this dutie, of whom the ſame is by ſo much the more to be put in practiſe, by how much they are more ſubiect to bee caried away with the ſwift current of their ſtay-leſſe affections, from whome wee heare too often theſe and ſuch like more then prophane and heatheniſh ſpeaches': I will marie to pleaſe mine owne eie, and not to ſatisfie the mind of my father: I will neuer match with him that woeth my parents before he woeth me: Shal I go to the father before I am ſure of the daughter. &c. Whereas in verie deede they are not at all once ſo much as to make the leaſt motion of mariage vntounto the daughter, vnleſſe before they, hauehave obtained the good will and liking of the father. For in theſe caſes let the daughters, if they ſhall be thereunto ſollicited and woed, learne of the example of the maiden out of the Poet, and of Cyrus out of Xenophon cited before, to ſay vntounto their ſuters: My Father and my mother hauehave to determine and diſpoſe of my mariage, this is a matter not belonging nor appertaining vntounto me. The heathen hauehave borne themſelues in this dutifull ſort towardes their parentes, and ſhall I that profeſſe my ſelfe a chriſtian come ſo far ſhort of thē in this dutie, as to cōtract my ſelf without the conſent & knowledge of my elders? Nay let thē ſay with Tamar, as it is in the ſtory of the kings: Speake I pray thee vntounto my father, for he will not deny me vntounto thee. &c.2 Sam. 13 verſe. 13

And here, when as I enter into the conſideration of the contrarie bad courſe & practiſe of the world, in intiſing of mens ſonnes and daughters vntounto mariage without,Againſt intiſing of childrē vntounto mariage without the conſent of parents. nay againſt the conſent and will of their parents, it maketh me aſtoniſhed and amazed, to heare that a great manie, and the ſame otherwiſe verie ciuill and honeſt, are to be found almoſt in all places, the which not onelie doe not diſlike of this ſhamefull diſorder, but holde it as it were but a ſport and a play, yea that which more is, goe about to countenāce and defend this notorious kind of ſhameleſſe theeuerie, (for ſo I will not feare to call it) the which alſo doth farre better deſerue to bee puniſhed with death, then a great manie crimes that are puniſhed with the ſame. Yea thou thy ſelfe which likeſt hereof wel enough & too well, if a theefe take but xx. ſhillings ſiō thee by the highway ſide, thou wilt hang him, if thou can: & art thou ſo bad an eſteemer of thinges, that thou doeſt value the ſtealing away of a mans childe at a leſſe rate, then the taking away of his mony? Wilt thou condemn him that ſtealeth away thy beaſt, and iuſtify him that robbeth thee of thy daughter?Deut. 24 7. The law of God appointeth death vntounto ſuch as ſteale mens childrē & ſel thē into ſlauery of the bodie, & what thē thinkeſt thou is their offence which ſteale mens daughters againſt the cōſent of their parents, to liue all their life time in whordome & adulterie, which is a ſpirituall ſlauerie and bondage of the ſoule, by which without repentance it periſheth euerlaſtingly, whereas the bodily bondage nothing preiudicateth or hindereth the libertie of the ſoule, but that it notwithſtanding may bee a free man vntounto Chriſt? If theft by the conſent, and iudgement of all the learned be truly defined, and ſaid, to be the taking away and withholding of another man his goodes, againſt the will of the owner of the ſame: and children, as hath bin before proued, be by good right to be rekoned eſpecially among the ſubſtance of theyr parentes: how then, is it not theft to ſteale away mens childrē by intiſing them vntounto mariage? And this argueth a great prophanenes of our time, and a wonderfull growth, and increaſe of ſinne vntounto his higheſt toppe, that whereas all other theeues for the moſte part either ſteale in the night, or elſe diſguiſed and vizarded in the day time, keeping themſelues ſecret and hidden leaſt being taken, they ſtretch a rope for their labour: the ſtealers of our daughters ſometimes will not ſticke to tell vsus to our faces, that if they cannot obtaine them with our good will,Shameles boldnes. they will if they can by any means, one day enioy them in deſpite of our teeth. And when they hauehave once atchieued their deuiliſhe purpoſe, and offered villany vntounto our children, in defiling of their bodies, they do not as other theeues, keepe themſelues aloofe and creepe into corners, but offer themſelues willingly inough to be knowne, making within themſelues this reckoning, and ſometimes openly vaunting hereof among their friendes, that hauing thus diſhoneſted our children, we ſhal in the end be glad to make ſute vntounto them to keepe them, for feare leaſt like vntounto graceles Amnon, they ſhould turne them thus abuſed, home againe vntounto vsus.2 Sam. 13.15. This is the daily practiſe, and yet who almoſt is ſory for the ſame? But if there bee no man nor woman to bee found, hauing any ſparke of conſcience left vnquenched, but confeſſeth, that hee would not hauehave his own ſonne and daughter intiſed after this manner, let vsus not then any longer goe about to vpholde, that done vntounto others, the which we would diſſalow and greatly miſlike being done vntounto our ſelues, and in our owne caſes For this rule ſhall otherwiſe, remaine ſtill in force inough againſt vsus: Doe not vntounto another, that which thou wouldeſt be loth ſhould be done vntounto thy ſelfe.

An obiection of maid-ſtealers. But it may be aunſwered hereunto, not by the Sheepe-ſtealers, but by the maide ſtealers, that they hauehave the conſent and goodwill of the maiden, and that peraduenture ſo far forth, that ſhe hath in moſt earneſt maner, yea euen with teares, and for all the louelove ſake that euer was betweene them, made requeſt and ſute vntounto them to carie and conueigh her away, and by ſome ſecret meanes to bee married vntounto them &c. Anſwer. This is indeede a verye plauſible couloure, and ſuch as carrieth a greate ſhewe of reaſon among many, but is in trueth the very worſt plea that they could poſſibly hauehave made for themſelues of all others. For doe they not ſee, how by this meanes they doe not alone quite caſt and cleane ouerthrowe themſelues, but alſo accuſe and condemne the party, whom they hauehave after this ſort ſeduced and intiſed? For beſides theyr owne fault in going about this matter without the conſent of their parentes, (the which as hath bene ſhewed ſufficiently already, they ought like good children to hauehave taried for) they hauehave cauſed the maiden alſo, to caſt off and breake in ſunder the coardes of due obedience vntounto her father or mother, which greate contempt, the Lorde wil not ſuffer vnreuenged. And becauſe that ſuch maner of cōtracts are altogether by God his word vnlawful, therfore in carnaly knowing the one the other (the which for the moſte parte is the beſt end of theſe bad compactes) they hauehave committed fornication, heaping as it were drunkeneſſe vntounto thirſte, that is to ſay, committing one ſinne in the necke of another, the which may not hereby be excuſed, for that they hauehave plighted and vowed their fayth and troth the one vntounto the other, and therefore they cannot in conſcience forſake one another.That the vo… & promiſe th… which childr… make to ma… the one vnt… the other, without the conſent of t… parents is n… matter of c… ſcience, and may lawful… be broken. For it muſt firſt be conſidered, whether theyr vow and promiſe bee lawfull or no, before they enter into a ſetled determination, to performe and keepe the ſame. For where the vowe is vnlawfull, there can be no breach of conſcience in obſeruing and fulfilling the ſame. And as in all other caſes, and actions of ours, the worde of GOD muſ…e bee our warrant, to trye the lawfulnes, or vnlawfulnes, of the ſame, ſo alſo in this moſt chiefly, when wee vowe or promiſe by giuing our ſayth, to doe any thing in his name. For nothing can pleaſe God, the which is not agreeable vntounto his will, and we hauehave no other certificate left vsus to aſſure vsus of his will, but onelyonly his worde. Wherefore whatſoeuer cannot be warranted by the ſame, is not agreable vntounto his wil, and ſo conſequently can by no means pleaſe him. Let vsus then ſee a little, whether this vowing and giuing of fayth and troth in mariage, without the parents agreeing thervnto, be to be holden lawfull, yea, or no, the which ſhall eaſely appeare vntounto vsus thus: what ſoeuer cannot bee performed, without the breache of God his commaundement, that ſame is vtterlye vnlawfull to be done, but to vow faith and troth in mariage, without the conſent of parents, can not bee performed without the breach of God his commaundement, therefore for children to giuegive their fayth and troth in mariage, without the conſent of theyr parentes, is vtterly vnlawfull. As concerning vowes God teacheth vsus in the 30. of Numbers that being made by the children, and not ratified by the parents, they are vnlawfull, and if vnlawfull not to be performed And that it is againſt God his commandement, for children to handfaſt themſelues in wedlocke, their parents conſent not going there withall, hath at large bene diſcourſed, being the only matter of this Treatize, wherof enſueth, that theſe promiſes being vnlawful, they do not at all binde the conſcience of the makers of them to performe the ſame, nay rather the perfourming of them, is a matter not of conſcience, but flat againſt conſcience, if to do the thing that is vnlawfull, and vnlawfull by the word of God, be a matter againſt conſcience, the which none, vnles the face be made of ſeaſoned wainſcot, will eaſely deny. Let not thoſe therefore the which plead conſcience for theyr excuſe in this bad matter, any longer deceiue themſelues with this broken reede, the which, if one leane vponupon, it will ſtraight wayes breake vntounto ſhiuers,An vnlawful vowe or promiſe may laws fully bee broken. but rather whoſoeuer hauehave in this ſort vowed, or promiſed raſhly, let them vnderſtand, that their vowe and promiſe, may a greate deale more ſafely be broken, then performed, except the good will of the parents may bee obtayned, and yet in this caſe alſo, their former raſhnes is earneſtly and with vnfained and hearty ſorrow to be repented, that God through his mercy in Chriſt doe not impute it and lay it vntounto their charge. And this aduiſe I would hauehave to be vnderſtoode either of contractes, or of mariage alſo by ſuch intiſing meanes, though the parents good will may be afterwads procured. But if after ſuch priuy and ſtolen contracts and mariages, the good liking of the parentes cannot be won, what puniſhment ought to be inflicted and laid vponupon the offenders, as well in regard of their owne default in breach of duty vntounto their parentes, as alſo that others by their ſmart may bee terrified and feared from running into the like, it is not for mee being no lawe-maker to determine: I leaue that vntounto the wiſe diſcretion of the godly magiſtrate, who I hope heareafter wil cary a more heauy hande towardes this he nous and notorius crime, and ſee ſome diſcipline alſo to bee ordained for all ſuch diſobedient and vnruly children, the which by their raſhe and headſtrong attentes, hauehave forſtalled the right of their godly parents, howſoeuer afterwards they can get their good will.

And thus,The concluſion. ſith the law of nature, the lawe of God, the authority of the ſcriptures, the examples of the godlye recorded in the ſame, the practiſe of the better ſort, among the very Heathen, the teſtimonyes of the Poettes in their Comedies, and Tragedies, the Fathers, Councels, Decrees, Canons, and ciuill conſtitutions of the purer ſort, yea ſome of the very Popes themſelues, and laſtly the firme conſent of the beſt Diuines of theſe our dayes, maintaine and vpholde the parentes right in prouiding of honeſt matches in due time for their children, and prooue their contractes made without their parents conſent, to bee of no validity or force, neither before God or man: I may lawfullye conclude, that it is the fathers charge to make a godlye choiſe, for his ſonnes and daughters in the way of mariage, without whoſe conſent they are at no hand to knit vp the ſame, vnleſſe the godlie magiſtrate in caſes of extremitie by his authoritie doe take ſuch order, ſo that hereafter my good hope is (the duties on both ſides being nowe ſo plainelie ſet downe, that no ignorance in this behalfe may any longer hencefoorth be pretended) that as parents reſpecting God his glorie, wil diligentlie and carefullie practiſe the one, ſo their children in all humble obedience will peforme the other, which God grant at the length for Chriſt his ſake.

Amen.

FINIS.

A Bartholomew Fairing for Parents to Bestow, Text

That Mariages are not to be made without the conſent of Parentes.