A Preparative to Marriage — Henry Smith

A Preparative to Marriage · Henry Smith

A Preparatiue to Marriage.

YOu are come hether to bee contracted in the Lord, that is, of two to bee made one: for as GOD hath knit the bones and sinewes together for the strengthening of the bodie, so he hath knit man and woman together for the strengthening of this life, because two are stronger than one: and Eccle. 9. 9.therefore when GOD made the Woman for Man, he sayd, I will make him a helpe: shewing that man Gen. 2. 18.is stronger by his Wife. Euerie Marriage before it bee knit should bee contracted, as it is shewed in Exo. 22. 16. and Deut. 22. 28. which Exo. 22. 16, Deu. 22. 28stay betweene the Contract & the Marriage, was the time of longing for their affections to settle in, because the deferring of that which wee louelove doth kindle the desire, which if it came easilie and speedilie to vsus, would make vsus set lesse by it. Therefore wee reade how Ioseph and Marie were contracted Math. 1. 18.before they were married. In the *That is betweene the Contract and the Marriage. Luc. 1. 27. & 42. & 49. &c.Contract Christ was conceaued, and in the Mariage Christ was borne, that he might honour both estates, Virginitie with his Conception, and Marriage with his Birth. You are contracted but to bee married, therefore I passe from Contracts to speake of Mariage, What Mariage is.which is nothing els but a communion of life between man and woman, ioyned together according to the ordinance of God. First I will shewe the excellencie The parts of this treatise.of Marriage: then the institution of it: then the causes of it: then the choise of it: then the dueties of it: and lastly the diuorcement of it.

Well might Paule say, Mariage Heb. 13. 4.is honourable, for God hath honoured it himselfe. It is honourable Three excellencies of Mariage.for the author, honourable for the time, and honorable for the place. Whereas all other ordinaunces Act 7. 53.were appoynted of GOD by the hands of men, or the hands of Angells, Heb. 2. 2.Marriage was ordained by Gen. 2. 22.God himselfe, which cannot erre. No man nor Angell brought the Wife to the Husband but GOD himselfe: so Marriage hath more honour of God in this, than all other ordinances of God beside, because he solemnized it himselfe.

Then it is honourable for the Mariage the first ordinance of God.time, for it was the first ordinance which GOD instituted, euen the first thing which he did after man and woman were created, & that in the state of innocencie before either had sinned, like the finest flower which will not thriue but in a cleane ground. Before man had any other calling he was called to be a Husband: therefore it hath the honour of antiquitie aboue all other ordinances, because it was ordained first, and is the ancientest calling of men.

Then it is honourable for the place; for whereas all other ordinances 3.were instituted out of Paradise, Marriage was instituted in Paradise in the happiest place, to signifie howe happie they are which marrie in the Lord, they doo not only marrie one another, but Christ is maried vntounto them, & so Mariage hath the honor of the place aboue all other ordināces to, because it was ordained in Paradise. As God the Father honored Mariage, so did God the Sonne, which is called the seede of the Gen. 3. 1….woman: and therefore Mariage was so honored amongst women because of this seede, that when Elizabeth brought foorth a sonne, Luk. 1. 25.she said, that God had taken away her rebuke; counting it the honor of women to beare children, and by consequence, the honour of women to be maried; for the children which are borne out of Mariage are the dishonor of women, and called by the shamefull name of Bastards.Deut. 23. 2.

As Christ honoured Mariage with his birth, so he honoured it Christs first myracle at a Mariage. Iohn. 2. 8.with his miracles: for the first miracle which Christe did, hee wrought at a Mariage in Chanaan, where he turned their water into wine: so, if Christ be at your Mariage, that is, if you marie in christ, your water shall bee turned into wine, that is, your peace, and your rest, and your ioy, and your happines shal begin with your Mariage; but if you marrie not in Christ, then your wine shall be turned into water, that is, you shall liue worse hereafter than you did before. As he honoured it with miracles, so he honored it with praises: for hee compareth the kingdome Mat. 22. 2.of God to a Wedding, and he compareth holines to a Wedding Verse. 11.garment. And in the 5. of Canticles he is wedded himselfe.Cant. 5. 9.

We reade in Scripture of three Three Mariages of Christ.Mariages of Christ. The first was when Christ and our nature met together. The second is, when 1. 2.Christ and our soule ioyne together. The third is, the vnion of 3.Christ and his Church. These are Christs 3. wiues. As Christ honoreth Mariage; so doo Christs Disciples: for Iohn calleth the Coniunction Reuel. 19 7.of Christ and the faithfull, a Mariage. And in Reuel. 21. 9. Reuel. 21. 9.the Church hath the name of a Bride, whereas Heresie is called a Harlot. Further, for the honour of Reue. 17. 1.Mariage, Paule sheweth how by it By Mariage, the womans cursse turned to two blessings. Gen. 3. 16.the curse of the woman was turned into a blessing; for the womans curse was the paines which she should suffer in her trauaile. Now by Mariage this curse is turned into a blessing; for children are the first blessing in al the Scripture. Gen. 1. 28.And therefore Christ saieth, that so soone as the mother seeth a man child borne into the world, Iohn. 16. 21.she forgetteth all her sorrowes, as though her curse were turned into a blessing. And further, Paule saith, that by bearing of children, 1. Timo. 2. 15.if she continue *For those paines will try her saithin faith and patience, she shall bee saued, as though one curse were turned into two blessings. For first she shall hauehave children, and after she shall hauehave saluation. What a mercifull God Note.hauehave wee, whose curses are blessings? Who would hauehave thought that God had hid a blessing in his curse? So hee loued our parents when hee punished them, that hee could scarse punish them for louelove, and therefore a comfort was folded in his iudgement.

To honour Mariage more, it is said, that God tooke a rib out of Adams side, and thereof built the Gen 2. 22.woman. He is not saide to make man a wife, but to build him a wife, signifying, that man & wife make as it were one house together, & that the building was not perfect, vntil the womā was made aswell as the man: therefore if the building bee not perfect now, it must be destroyed againe.

Before God made the woman, A note of Adams sleepe. Gen. 2. 21.it is sayd, that he cast the man into a sleepe, and in his sleepe he tooke a rib out of his side, and as he made the man of earth, so he made the woman of bone, while Adam was a sleepe. This doth teach vsus two thinges: As the first Adam was a figure of the second Adam, 1. Cor. 15. 22. & 45.so the first Adams sleepe was a figure of the second Adams sleepe, & the first Adams spouse was a figure of the second Adams spouse. That is, as in the sleepe of Adam, Eue was borne; so in the sleepe of Christ the Church was borne: as a bone came out of the first Adams side, so bloud came out of the second Adams side. As Adams spouse receiued life in his sleepe; so Christs spouse receiued life in his sleepe: that is, the death of Christ is the life of the Church; for the Apostle calleth Death a sleepe, but Christ which dyed is called Life, shewing that in his Ephes. 5 14. Iohn. 14. 6.death we liue. Secondly, this sleep which the mā was cast into, while his wife was created, dooth teach A note of Adams sleepe.vsus that our affections, our lusts, & our concupicenses, should sleepe while wee goe about this action. As the man slept while his wife was making, so our flesh should sleepe while our wife is choosing, least as the louelove of Venison wan Isaak to blesse one for another, so Gen. 27. 3.the louelove of gentrie, or riches, or beautie make vsus take one for another.

To honour Mariage more yet, or rather to teach the maried how to honour one another, it is saide, A note of Adams ribbe. Gen. 2. 22. Ephe. 5. 23.that the wife was made of the husbands rib: not of his head, for Paule calleth the husbande the wiues head: nor of the foote, for The Fathers obseruation.he must not set her at his foote: the seruant is appoynted to serue, and the wife to helpe. If she must not match with the head, nor stoope at the foote, where shall he set her then? He must set her at his heart, and therefore she which should lie in his bosome, was made in his bosome, and should bee as close to him as his ribb of which she was fashioned. Lastly, in all Nations the day of Mariage was reputed the ioyfullest day in all their life, and is reputed still of all, as though the Sunne of happines began that day to shine vponupon vsus, when a good wife is brought vntounto vsus. Therfore one saith, that Mariage doth signifie Merriage, because a playfellow is come to make our age merrie.

Salomon considering al these excellencies, as though wee were more indebted to God for this thā other temporall gifts, saith: House and riches are the inheritance of the fathers: but a prudent wife commeth Pro. 14. 14.of the Lord. House and riches are giuen of God, and all things els, & yet hee saith, house and riches are giuen of parents, but a good wife is giuen of God: as though a good wife were such a gift, as we should account from God alone, and accept as if hee should send vsus a present from heauen, with this name Thus Adam doth. Gen. 2.written vponupon it, The gift of God.

Beasts are ordained for foode, and cloathes for warmth, and flowers for pleasure, but the wife is ordained for man, like little Zoar, a Citie of refuge to flie to in all his Gen. 29. 20.troubles, & there is no peace comparable vntounto her, but the peace of conscience.

Now it must needes be, that Mariage, which was ordeined of such an excellent Author, and in such a happie place, and of such an auncient time, and after such a notable order, must likewise hauehave speciall causes for the ordenance of it. Therefore the holie Ghost doth shewe vsus three causes of this Vnion. One is, the propagation Three causes of Mariage. Gen. 1. 27.of children, signified in that when Moses saith, He created them male and female, not both male, nor both female, but one male, and the other female, as if he created them fit to propagate other. And therefore when he had created them so, to shewe that propagation of children is one ende of Mariage, he saide vntounto them, Increase and Gen. 1. 28.multiplie, that is, bring forth children, as other creatures bring forth their kinde. For this cause Marriage is called Matrimonie, which signifieth Mothers, because Why Mariage is called Matrimonie.it makes them Mothers, which were Virgins before: and is the seminarie of the worlde, without which, all things should Without Mariage, all things should be vaine.be in vaine, for want of men to vse them, for God reserueth the great Citie to himselfe, and this suburbs he hath set out to vsus, which are regents by sea and by lande. If children be such a chiefe end of Marriage, then it seemes, that where there can be no hope of children, for age or other causes, there Marriage This is signified in Deut. 23. 1.is not so lawfull, because it is maimed of one of his ends, and seemes rather to be sought for wealth, or for lust, than for this blessing of children. It is not good grafting of an olde head vppon young shoulders, for they will neuer beare it willingly but grudgingly.

Twise the Wife is called, the Wife of thy youth, as though when Prou. 5. 18.men are old, the time of Marrying Mala. 2. 18.were past. Therefore God makes such vnequall matches so ridiculous eueryevery where, that they please none but the parties themselues, vntill the time of their dotage be expired.

The second cause is to auoide The second cause.fornication: this Paule signifieth, when he saith, For the auoiding of 1. Cor. 7. 2.fornication, let eueryevery man hauehave his owne wife. He saith not for auoiding of adultery, but for auoiding of fornication, shewing, that fornication is vnlawfull too, which the Papists make lawfull, in mainteining Papists Stewes.their Stewes, as a stage for fornicators to play vppon, and a Sanctuary to defende them, like Absoloms Tent, which was spread vponupon the top of the house, that all 2. Sam. 16. 22.Israel might see how he defiled his fathers concubines.

For this cause, Malachi sayth, Mal. 2. 15.that God did create but one Woman for the man, he had power to create moe, but to shewe that he woulde hauehave him sticke to one, therefore he created of one ribbe but one wife for one husbande: and in the Arke, there were no moe women than men. But foure 1. Pet. 3. 20.wiues for four husbands, although it was in the beginning of the world, when many wiues might seeme necessarie to multiply mankinde. If any might hauehave a dispensation heerein, it seemes the King might be priuiledged before any other, because of succession to the Crowne, if his wife should happen to be barren. And yet the King is forbidden to take many wiues in Deut. 17. 17. as well as Deut. 17. 17. 1. Tim. 3. 2.the Minister in 1. Timo. 3. 2. shewing, that the danger of the state, doth not counteruaile the danger of fornication. For this cause we reade of none but wicked Lamech before the Flood, that had moe Gen. 4. 23.wiues than one, whome Iouinian calleth a monster, because he made 2. ribs of one. And another saith, that the name of his second wife doth signifie a shadowe, because she was not a wife, but the shaddowe of a wife: for this cause the Scripture neuer biddeth man to louelove his wiues, but to louelove his Wife, and sayeth, They shall be two in one fleshe, not three, nor Math. 9. 5.foure, but onelyonly two. For this cause, Salomon calleth the whorish woman a strange woman, to shew that she should be a stranger to vsus, and we should be strange to her. Prou. 2. 16.For this cause, children which are borne in mariage, are called Liberi, which signifieth free borne: and they which are borne out of marriage, are called Bastards, that is, base borne, like the Mule which is ingendred of an Asse & a Mare. Gen. 36. 24.Therefore adulterers are likened Fornicators like the Deuill. Mat. 13. 25.to the Deuill, which sowed another mans ground, other sowe for a Haruest, but they sowe that which they dare not reape. Therfore children borne in Wedlocke were counted Gods blessing, because they come by vertue of that Psal. 128. 4.blessing, Increase and multiplie. But Gen. 1. 28.before Adam and Eue were married, God neuer sayd Increase, shewing, that he did cursse and not blesse such increase. Therefore we reade not in all the Scripture Bastards.of one Bastard that came to any good, but onelyonly Iphtah, and to Iud. 11. 1.shewe that no inheritance did belong They might be saued, but they had the marke of a cursse.to them in heauen, they had no inheritance in earth, neyther were counted of the congregation, as other were. Deut. 23. 2.

Now, because Marriage was appointed for a remedie against fornication, therefore the lawe of God inflicted a sorer punishment Leuit. 20. 10. Deut. 22. 22.vppon them which did commit vncleannes after Marriage, than vppon him which was not married, because he sinned, although he Maried fornicators.had the remedie of sinne, lyke a rich theese which stealeth, and hath no neede.

Now if Marriage be a remedie against the sinne of fornication, The mariage of Ministers.then vnlesse Ministers may commit the sinne of fornication, it seemes that they may vse the remedie as well as other: for as it is better for one man to marrie 1. Cor. 7. 9.than to burne, so it is better for all men to marrie than to burne; and therefore Paule sayth, Marriage is Hebr. 13 4.honourable amongst all men. And againe, for the auoiding of fornication, 1. Corin. 7.let eueryevery man hauehave his Wife. And as though he did forsee, that some woulde excepte the Minister in time to come, in the first of Timo. 1. Tim. 3. 2.3. 2. hee speaketh more precisely of the Ministers wife, than of any other, saying, Let him be the husband of one Wise: and least ye should say that by one wife, he meaneth one Benefice like the Papists. He expoundeth himself in the fourth verse, and saith, that he must be one that can rule his house well, and his children. Sure God would not hauehave these children to be Bastards, and therefore it is like that he aloweth the Minister a Wife. Therefore Paule said well, that he 1. Cor. 7. 6.had no commandement for Virginitie, for Virginitie cannot be commaunded, because it is a speciall gift, but not a speciall gift to Ministers, & therfore they are not to be bound more thā other. A peculiar gift may not be made a general rule, because none can vse it, but they which hauehave it. And therfore in 1. Cor. 7. 17. he saith, As God 1. Cor. 7. 17.hath distributed to eueryevery man, so let him walk. That is, if he hauehave not the gift of continencie, he is bound to marrie: and therefore Paule commaundeth in the seuenth verse, whether he be Minister or other, If they cannot abstaine, let them marrie, as though they tempted God if they married not. The Law was generall, It is not good for man to be Gen. 2. 1…alone, exempting one order of men no more than an other. And again Christ speaking of Chastity saith, All men cannot receiue this thing. Math. 19. 11.Therefore vnlesse we knowe, that this order of men can receiue this thing: Christ forbids to binde them more than other, and therefore as the Priests were maried that taught the Lawe, so Christ chose Apostles which were maried, to preach the Gospell. Therefore the doctrine of Papists, is the doctrine of Deuils, for Paule calleth the forbidding of mariage, the 1. Tim. 4. 3.doctrine of Deuils, a fit title for all their bookes.

Lastly, if Mariage be a remedie against sinne, then Mariage it selfe is no sinne: for if Mariage it selfe were a sinne, we might not marrie for any cause, because we must not do the least euill that the greatest …. 3. 8.good may come of it: and if Mariage be not a sinne, then the *Be not thou vaine, and these words will not be offensiue.dueties of Mariage are no sinne, that is, the secreate of Mariage is not euill, and therefore Paule saith not only Mariage is honourable, but the bed is honorable, that is, euen Hebr. 13. 4.the action of Mariage is as lawfull, as Mariage. Besides Paul saith, Let the Husband giuegive vntounto the Wife 1. Cor. 7. 3.due beneuolence: heere is a commandement to yeeld this duety: that which is commanded, is lawfull; and not to doe it, is a breach of the commandement. Therefore Mariage was instituted before any sinne was, to shew that there is no sinne in it if it be not abused: but because this is rare, therefore after women were deliuered, God Leuit. 12. 4. 5. &c.appointed them to be purified, shewing, that some staine or other doth creep into this action, which had neede to be repented, and therefore when they prayed, Paule would not hauehave them come together, 1. Cor. 7. 5.least their prayers should be hindered.

The third cause is, to auoid the The third cause.inconuenience of solitarinesse, signified in these words, It is not good for man to be alone, as though he Gen. 2.had said, this life would be miserable and irkesome, and vnpleasant to man, if the Lord had not giuen him a wife to company his troubles. If it be not good for man to be alone, then it is good for man to hauehave a fellow: therefore as God created a paire of all other kindes, so he created a paire of this kinde. We say that one is none, because he cannot be fewer than one, he can not be lesser than one, he can not be weaker than one, and therfore the Wise man saith, Woe to him which is alone, that is, he which Eccl. 4. 10.is alone, shall hauehave woe. Thoughts and cares, and feares, will come to him, because hee hath none to cō fort him, as theeues steale in when the house is emptie; like a Turtle, which hath lost his mate, like one legge when the other is cut off, like one wing when the other is clipt, so had the man bin, if the woman had not bin ioyned to him: therefore for mutuall societie, God coupled two together, that the infinite troubles which lye vppon vsus in this world, might be eased, with the comfort and helpe one of an other, and that the poore in the world might hauehave some comfort as well as the rich: for the poore man (saith Salomon) is Pro. 19. 7. Pro. 27. 10.forsaken of his owne brethren, yet God hath prouided one comforter for him, like Ionathans armourbearer, 1. Sam. 14. 7.that shall neuer forsake A Wife is the poore mans richeshim, that is another selfe, which is the only commoditie as I may tearme it, wherein the poore doe match the rich, without which, some persons should hauehave no helper, no comforter, no friend at all.

But as it is not good to be alone, so Salomon sheweth, That it is better Prou. 21. 9.to be alone, than to dwell with a froward Wise, which is like a quotidian ague, to keepe his patience in vre. Such furies do haunt some men, like Saules spirit, as though 1. Sam. 16. 14.the Deuill had put a sword into their handes to kill themselues, therefore choose whome thou mayest enioy, or liue alone still, and thou shalt not repent thy bargaine.

That thou mayest take and kepe without repentance, now we will speake of the choice, which some call the way to good wiues dwelling, 3. The choice.for these flowers grow not on eueryevery ground: therefore they say, that in wiuing and striuing, a man should take counsell of all the world. As Moses considered what spies he sent into Chanaan, so thou Deut. 1. 23. 24.must regarde whome thou sendest to spie out a Wife for thee. Two spies for a Wife.Discretion is a warie spie, but fancie is a rash spie, and liketh whome she will mislike againe.

In Zacharie, Sinne is called a Zach. 5. 7.woman, which sheweth, that women hauehave many faults, therefore he which chooseth of them, had neede hauehave iudgement, and make an Anatomie of their bodies and minds by squire and rule, before he say, This shall be mine. For the wisest man sayth, I hauehave found one man of a thousand, but a woman Eccle. 7. 30.among them all hauehave I not sound, as though there were a dearth of good women ouer the worlde.

For helpe hereof in 1. Cor. 7. 39. wee are taught to marrie in the Lord, then we must choose in the Lord too: therefore we must begin our Mariage where Salomon began his wisedome. GiueGive vntounto thy seruant an vnderstanding heart: so 1. King. 3. 9giuegive vntounto thy seruant an vnderstāding wife. If Abrahams seruant praied the Lord to prosper his businesse Gen. 24. 12.when hee went about to choose a wife for another, how shouldst thou pray when thou goest about a wife for thy selfe, that thou maiest say after, My lot is fallen in a pleasant ground. To direct thee to a right choice herein, the holie Ghost giues thee two rules, Godlines and Fitnes: Godlines, because Godly and fit.our Spouse must bee like Christs spouse, that is, graced with gifts & imbrodered with vertues, as if wee did marrie Holinesse her selfe. For the mariage of man and woman, is resembled of the Apostle to the Mariage of Christ and Ephes. 5. 29.the Church. Now, the Church is called Holie, because she is holie. In the 6. Cantie. she is called Vndefiled, Cant. 6. 8.because she is vndefiled. In the 45. Psalme she is called faire Psal. 45. 9.within, because her beautie is inwarde: so our Spouse should bee holie, vndefiled, and faire within. As GOD respecteth the heart, so 1. Sam. 16. 7.we must respect the heart, because that must louelove, and not the face. Couetousnes hath euer been a suter to the richest, and pride to the highest, and lightnesse to the fa… rest, and for reuenge hereof his ioye hath euer ended with his wiues youth, which tooke her beautie with it. The goods of the world are good, and the goods of the bodie are good, but the goods of the minde are better. As Paule commendeth Faith, and Hope, & Charitie, but saith the greatest of 1. Cor. 13. 13.these is Charitie: so I may commend beauty, and riches, and godlines, but the best of these is godlinesse, because it hath the thinges which it wants, and makes euerie state alike with her gift of contentation.

Secondly, the mate must be fit: A sit Wise.it is not enough to bee vertuous, but to bee sutable; for diuers women hauehave many vertues, and yet doo not fit with some men; & diuers men hauehave many vertues, and yet doo not fit to some women: and therefore we see many times, euen the godly couples to iarre when they are married, because there is some vnfitnes betweene them which makes oddes. What is oddes but the contrary to euen? Therefore make them euen (saith one) and there will bee no oddes. From hence came the first vse of the Ring in Weddings, to represēt The ceremonie is not approued, but the inuention declared.this euennes: for if it be straighter than the finger it will pinch, & if it be wider than the finger it wil fall of; but if it bee fit, it neither pincheth nor slippeth: So they which are like striue not, but they which are vnlike, as fire and water. Therefore one obserueth, that concord is nothing but likenesse, and that all strife is for vnfitnes: as in things when they fit not together, and in persons when they suite not one another.

How was GOD pleased when 1. Sam. 2. 35.he had found a King according to his owne heart? So shall that man be pleased which findes a wife according to his owne heart, whether he be rich or poore, his peace shall affoord him a chearefull life, and teach him to sing, In louelove is no lacke. Therefore a godly man in our time thanked the Lord that The saying of a godly man.he had not onelyonly giuen him a godly wife, but a fit wife: for he sayd not that she was the wisest, nor the holiest, nor the humblest, nor the modestest wife in the world, but the fittest wife for him in the world, which eueryevery man should thinke when that knot is tyed, or els so often as he seeth a better, he will wish that his choyce were to make againe. As hee did thanke God for sending him a fit wife, so the vnmaried should pray God to send them a fit wife: for if they be not like, they will not like.

This fitnesse is commended by the holy Ghost in two words: one is in the 2. of Gen. and the other is Gen. 2. 18. 2. Cor. 6. 14.in the 2. Cor. 6. 14. That in Gene. is Meete: God saith, I will make man a helpe meet for him. Shewing, that a wife cannot helpe well, vnles she be meete. Further, it sheweth that man is such an excellent creature, that no creature was like vntounto him, or meete for him till the woman was made. This meetnesse GOD sheweth againe in the 22. verse, where Moses saieth, that of Gen. 2. 22.the ribbe which was taken out of man God built the woman: signifying, that as one parte of the building dooth meete and fit with another; so the wife should meete and fit with the husband, that as they are called couples, so they may be called paires, that is, like as a paire of gloues, or a paire of hose are like; so man and wife should be like, because they are a paire of friends. If thou be learned, chuse one that loueth knowledge: if thou bee Martiall, chuse one that loueth prowesse: if thou must liue by thy labour, chuse one that loueth busbandrie: for vnlesse her minde stande with thy vocation, thou shalt neither inioye thy wife, nor thy calling.

That other word in the 2. Cor. 6. 14. is Yoke, there Mariage is called a Yoke. Paule saith, Be not vnequally yoked. If Mariage be a yoke, then they which drawe in it must be fit, like two Oxen which draw the yoke together, or els all the burden will lie vponupon one. Therefore they are called yoke fellowes too, to shew that they which draw Phil. 4. 3.this yoke must be fellowes. As he which soweth seede, chuseth a fit groūd, because they say, it is good grafting vppon a good stocke: so he which wil hauehave godly children must chuse a godly wife: for like Mother (sayeth Ezechiel) like Ezek. 16. 44.daughter. Now, as the Trauailer hath markes in his way that hee may proceed aright: so the suiter hath markes in his way that hee may chuse right.

There be certaine signes of this Fiue rules in the choise of a good wife.fitnes, and godlinesse, both in the man and the woman. If thou wilt knowe a godly man, or a godly woman, thou must marke fiue things; the report, the lookes, the speach, the apparell, and the companions, which are like the pulses that shewe whether we be well or ill. The report, because as the market 1.goeth, so they say the market men talke. A good man cōmonly Psal. 112. 6 Pro. 107. Mar. 14. 9.hath a good name, because a good name is one of the blessinges which GOD promiseth to good men, but a good name is not to be praised from the wicked: & therfore Christ saieth, Cursed are you when all men speake well of you: that Luc. 6. 26.is, when euill men speake well of you, bicause this is a signe that you are of the world, for the world liketh Ioh. 15. 19.and praiseth her owne. Yet as Christ said, Who can accuse me of sin? So it Ioh. 8. 46.should bee said of vsus, not who can accuse me of sinne? but who can accuse me of this sinne, or who cā accuse me of that sinne? That is, who can accuse me of swearing? who cā accuse me of dissembling? who can accuse mee of fornication? No man can say this of his thought, but eueryevery one should say it of the act, like Zachariah & Elizabeth, Luk. 1 6.which are called vnblameable before men, because none could accuse them of open sinnes.

The next signe is the looke, for 2.Salomon saith, Wisedome is in the face Eccl. 8. 7.of a man: so godlines is in the face of a man, and so folly is in the face of a man, and so wickednesse is in the face of a man. And therefore it is sayd in Esaiah 3. 9. The triall of their countenance testifieth against them. As though their looks could speake. One saieth well, a modest man dwelles at the signe of a modest countenance, and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest face, which is like the gate of the temple that was called Beautifull: Act. 3. 2.shewing, that if the entrie be so beautifull, within is great beautie.

To shewe how a modest countenance, and womanly shamefastnesse, doo commend a chast wife, it is obserued that the word Nuptiae, which signifieth the Marriage of the woman, dooth declare the manner of her Marriage: for it importeth a couering, because the Virgins which should be maried, whē they came to their husbands, for modestie and shamefastnes did couer their faces: as wee reade of Rebeccah, which so soone as she Gen. 24. 65.sawe Isaac, and knewe that hee should bee her husband, she cast a vaile before her face, shewing that modestie should be learned before Marriage, which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion.

The third signe is her speach, or rather her silence; for the ornamēt ….of a woman is silence: and therefore the law was giuen to the man rather than to the woman, to shew To Adam first, and to Moses after.that he should bee the teacher, and she the hearer. As the Eccho answereth Maides must speak like an Eccho.but one word for manie which are spoken to her; so a maides answere should be a word, as though she sold her breath. The eye and the speach are the mindes Glasses; for out of the abundance of Math. 12. 34.the heart (saith Christ) the mouth speaketh: as though by the speach we might know what aboundeth in the heart: and therfore he saith, By thy words thou shalt bee iustified, Math. 12. 36.and by thy wordes thou shalt bee condemned. That is, thou shalt be iustified to bee wise, or thou shalt bee condemned to bee foolish; thou shalt bee iustified to bee sober, or thou shalt bee condemned to bee rash; thou shalt bee iustified to bee humble, or thou shalt be condemned to be proud; thou shalt be iustified to be louing, or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious. Therefore Salomon saith, A fooles lips are Prou. 18. 7.asnare to his owne soule. Snares are made for other, but this snare catcheth a mans selfe, because it bewraieth his folly, and causeth his trouble, and bringeth him into discredite. Contrariwise, The heart of the wise (saith Salomon) guideth his Prou. 17. 23. Eccl. 12. 10.mouth wisely, and the wordes of his mouth hauehave grace. Now, to shewe that this should bee one marke in the choyce of thy Wife, Salomon describing a right Wife, saith, She openeth her mouth with wisedome, & Pro. 31. 26.the lawe of grace is in her tongue. As Prou. 19. 15. Num. 19. 15.the open vessels were counted vncleane; so account that the open mouth hath much vncleannes.

The fourth signe is the apparel: 4.for as the pride of the Glutton is noted, in that he went in purple euerie Luk. 16. 19.day; so the humilitie of Iohn is noted in that hee went in hairecloath Mar. 1. 6.eueryevery day. A modest woman is known by her sober attire, as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough garment. Looke not 2. King. 1. 8for better within, than thou seest without; for eueryevery one seemeth better than hee is, if the face bee vanitie, the heart is pride. Hee which biddeth thee abstaine from 1. Thess. 5. 22.the shewe of euill, would hauehave thee to abstaine frō those wiues which hauehave the shewes of euill: for it is hard to come in the fashion, & not to be in the abuse. And therefore Paule saieth, Fashion not your selues Rom. 12. 2.like vntounto this world: as though the fashions of mē did declare of what side they are.

The fift signe is the companie: 5.for birds of a feather will flie together, and fellowes in sinne will bee fellowes in league, as yong Rehoboam 1. King. 12. 8.chose young companions. The tame beastes will not keepe with the wild, nor the cleane with the leprous. If a man cā be known by nothing els, then he maye bee knowne by his companions; for like will to like, as Salomon saieth, Prou. 1. 11.theeues call one another. Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie, he sayd, Away from me al ye that work Psal. 6. 8.iniquitie. Shewing, that a man neuer abandoneth euill, vntill hee abandon euill companie; for no good is concluded in this parliament. Therefore choose such a companiō of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before: for they which did choose such as loued prophane companiōs before, in a while were drawne to be prophane too, that their wiues might louelove them. When these rules are obserued, they may ioyne together and say, as Laban and Bethuel said This commeth of the Lord, therfore Gen. 24. 50.wee will not speake against it. How happie are those in whome Faith, and LoueLove, and Godlinesse are married together, before they marrie themselues? For none of these Martiall, and clowdie, and whining Marriages can saye that Godlinesse was inuited to their Bridall; and therfore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse doo flie from them.

Now in this choice, are two questions. First, whether children may marrie without their parents Parents consent in marriage.consent: and the second, whether they may marrie with Papists or Atheists, &c. Touching the first, God saith, Honor thy father and thy Exod. 20.mother. Now, wherein canst thou honour them more, than in this honourable action, to which they hauehave preserued thee, and brought thee vp, which concerneth the state of thy whole life? Againe, in the first institution of Mariage, when there was no Father to giuegive consent, then our heauenly Father gaue his consent: God supplied the place of the Father, & brought Gen. 2. 22.his Daughter vntounto her Husband, and euer since, the Father after the same manner, hath offred hys Daughter vntounto the Husband.

Beside, there is a Lawe, that if a man deflowre a Virgin, he shall Exod. 22. …marrie her: but if the Father of the Virgin do not like of the Mariage, then he shall pay vntounto her the dowrie of Virgins, that is, so much as her Virginitie is esteemed, so that the Father might alow the Mariage, or forbid it.

Againe, there is a Law, that if Num. 30. 6.any free man, or free womā make a vow, it must be kept. But if a Virgin make a vow, it should not be kept, vnlesse her Father approue it, because she is not free: therefore if she did vow to marry, yet the Father hath power by this Lawe to breake it. Therefore the Lawe speaketh vntounto the Father saying, Thou shale not take a Wife for Deut 7. 3.thy sonne of straungers. Therefore Paule speaketh to the Father, If 1. Cor. 7. 38.thou giuegive thy daughter to mariage, thou doest well: therefore Iobs children Iob. 1. 3. & 10.are counted part of Iobs substance, shewing, that as a man hath the disposition of his owne substance, so he hath the disposition of his owne children. Therefore in Math. 22. 30. the Wife is sayd to be bestowed in mariage, which signifieth, that some did giuegive her beside her selfe: Therefore it is said, that Iacob serued Laban, that Gen. 29. 18.Laban might giuegive him his daughter to wife. Therefore Saule saith 1. Sam. 18. 17.to Dauid, I will giuegive thee my eldest daughter to wife: therefore it is said, that Iudah tooke a wife Gen. 28. 6.to Er his sonne. Therefore Sichem saith to his Father, Get me this Gen. 34. 9.maide to Wife. Therefore in the mariage of Isaak, we see Abrahams seruant in the place of Isaak, and Rebeccah the maid and her parents, Gen. 24. 51. 52. 53.sitting in parliament together: therefore Sampson, though he had found a maid to his liking, Iud. 14. 2.yet he would not take her to wife, before he had tould his parents, and craued their assent. It is a sweete wedding, when the Father and the Mother bring a blessing to the feast, and a heauie vnion which is cursed the first day that it is knit. The parents commit their childrē to Tutors, but themselues are more than Tutors. If children may not make other contracts without their good will, shall they contract mariage which hauehave nothing to maintain it after, vnlesse they returne to begge of them whome they skorned before? Will you take your fathers money, and will you not take his instruction? Marriage hath neede of many counsellers, and doest thou count thy Father too many? which is like the foreman of thy instructers. If you mark what kind of youths they be, which hauehave such haste, that they dare not stay for their parents aduice, they are such as hunt for nothing but beautie, and for punishment hereof, they marrie to beggerie, and lose their Father and Mother for their Wife: therefore honour thy parents in this, as thou wouldest that thy children should honour thee.

The second question is answered of Paule, when he saith, Be not Mariage with Papists. &c.vnequally yoked with Infidells. As we should not be yoked with Infidells, so we should not be yoked with Papists, and so we should not be yoked with Atheists, for that also is to be vnequally yoked, vnlesse we be Atheists too. As the Iewes might not marrie with the Gen. 24. 3. Exo. 34. 16. Gen. 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezra. 9. 12Chananites, so we may not marrie with them which are like Chananites, but as the sonnes of Iacob said vntounto Emor which would marrie their Sister, Wee may not giuegive our Gen. 34. 14. The Similitude holds in their saying, and not in their meaning, for they speake truly, but they meant falsely.Sister to a man vncircumcised, but if you will be Circumcised like vsus, then we will marrie with you. So Parents should say to suiters, I may not giuegive my Daughter to a man vnsanctified, but if you will be sanctified, then I will giuegive my Daughter vntounto you. Though Heresie, and irreligion, be not a cause of diuorse, as Paule teacheth, yet it is a cause of restraint, for we may not marrie all, with whome we may liue being married. If adulterie may separate marriage, shal not idolatry hinder marriage, which is worse than it? Christ saith, Let Mat. 19. 6. Mar. 10. 9.no man separate, whome God hath ioyned; so I may say, Let no man ioyne, whome God doeth separate: For if our Father must be pleased with our Marriage, much more should we please that Father which ordained Marriage. Shall I say, Be my Wife, to whome I may not saye Be my Companion? Or, Come to my bed, to whome I may not say, Come to my table? How should my marriage speede well, when I marrie one to whome I 2. Iohn. 10.may not say God speede, because she is none of Gods friendes? Doth not hee marrie with the Deuill, which marrieth with the tempter? For Tempter is his name, and Math. 4. 3.to tempt is his nature. When a man may chuse, he should chuse the best; but this man chuseth the worst. He prayeth, Not to be led Luk. 11. 4.into temptation, and leadeth himselfe into temptation. Surely he doth not feare sinne, which doth not shunne occasions; and he is worthy to be snared, which maketh a trappe for himselfe. When Salomon, the myrrour of wisedome, the wonder of the world; 1. King. 11. 1. &c.the figure of our Lord, by idolatrous Concubines is turned to an idolater, let no man say, I shall not be seduced, but say, How shall I stande, where such a Cedar fell? The Wife must be meete, as God saide, Gen. 2. 18. But how is shee meete, if thou be a Christian, and she a Papist? We must marrie in the Lord, as Paule saith: but how 1. Cor. 7. 39.do we marrie in the Lord, when wee marrie the Lords enemies? our Spouse must bee like Christs Spouse, but Christs Spouse is neither Harlot nor Heretick, nor Atheist. If she bee poore, the Lord reprooueth not for that: if she bee weake, the Lord reprooueth not for that: if she bee hard fauoured, the Lord reprooueth not for that: but none giueth any dispensation Gen. 3. 4.for godlines but the diuell. Therefore they which take that priuiledge, are like thē which seeke to Witches, & are guiltie of preferring euill before good. This vnequal Mariage was the chiefe cause that brought the flood, & the first beginning of Giants, & mōstrous Gen. 6. 2.births, shewing by their mōstrous children, what a monstrous thing it is for beleeuers and vnbeleeuers to match together. In Matth. 22. Math. 22. 11.Christ sheweth, that before parties married, they were wont to put on faire & newe garments, which were called Wedding garments; a warning vntounto all which put on Wedding garment.Wedding garments, to put on trueth and holinesse too, which so precisely is resembled by that garment more than other. It is noted in the 14. of Luke, that of all them Note. Luk. 14. 20.which were inuited to the Lords banquet, and came not, onelyonly hee which had married a Wife, did not desire to bee excused, but saide stoutly, I cannot come. Shewing, how this state doth occupie a man most, and drawe him often from the seruice of God: and therefore wee had not neede to take the worse, for the best are combersome enough. In the 2. of Iob, it is Iob. 2. 9. & 3. 1.obserued of the patient man, that hee did not curse the day of his birth, vntill his wife brake foorth into blasphemie: shewing, that wicked womē are able to change the stedfastest man, more than all temptatiōs beside. Sampson would take a Philistian to wife, but he lost Iud. 14.his honour, his strength, and his life by her, least any should doo the like. But what a notable warning is that in 2. Chro. 21. 6. where the holy Ghost saith, Iehoram walked 2. Chro. 21. 6.in the waies of Ahab, for he had the daughter of Ahab to wife, as though it were a miracle if he had been better than he was, because his wife was a temptation. Miserable is that man which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion, for she will be nibling at his prayer, and at his studie, and at his meditations, till she hauehave tyred his deuotions, and turned the edge of his soule, as Michol tried Dauid, 2. Sam. 6. 16.she mocked him for his zeale, and liked her self in her folly. Therfore as Christ saieth, Remember Loths Luk. 17. 32.wife: so when thou marriest, remember Ichorams wife, and be not wedded to her which hath not the Wedding garment: but let vnitie goe first, and let vnion come after, and hope not to conuert her, but feare that she wil peruert thee, least thou saye after, like him which should come to the Lords banquet, I hauehave married a wife and Luk. 14. 20.cannot come.

Yet the chiefest point is behind, The dueties of Marriage.that is your dueties. The dueties of Mariage may be reduced to the dueties of Man and Wife one toward another, and their dueties towarde their children, and their dueties toward their seruants. For themselues, saieth one, they must think that they are like two birds, the one is the Cock, and the other The man and wife like cock and dam.is the Dam: the Cocke flieth abroad to bring in, the Dam sitteth vponupon the nest to keepe al at home. So God hath made the man to trauaile abroade, and the woman to keepe home: and so their nature, and their wit, and their strength are fitted accordingly; for the mās pleasure is most abroade, and the womans within.

In eueryevery state there is some one vertue which belongeth to that calling more than other; as Iustice to Magistrates, and Knowledge to Preachers, and Fortitude to Souldiers: so louelove is the Marriage vertue, which sings Musicke to their whole life. Wedlocke is made of two loues, which I may call the Mariage compounded of two loues.first louelove, and the after louelove. As euerie man is taught to louelove GOD before he be bid to louelove his neighbour; so they must louelove God before they can louelove one another.

To shew the louelove which should bee betweene man and wife, Marriage is called Coniugium, which signifieth a knitting or ioining together: shewing, that vnlesse there be a ioyning of harts, and knitting of affectiōs together, it is not Mariage indeed, but in shew & name, and they shall dwell in a house like two poysons in a stomack, & one shall euer be sicke of the other.

Therefore, first that they may louelove, and keepe louelove one with another, it is necessarie that they both louelove God, and as their louelove increaseth toward him, so it shall increase each to other. But the man must take heed that his louelove toward his Wife, be not greater than his louelove toward God, as Adams and Sampsons were, for all Gen. 3. 6. Iud. 16. 17.vnlawfull louelove will turne to hatred, as the louelove of Amnon did toward Thamar, and because Christ 2. Sam. 13. 15. Math. 10. 37.hath forbidden it, therefore hee will crosse it. This made Vriah so fearefull, least the pleasure of his wife should drawe his heart from God, that he would not goe to his owne house, so long as he had cause to mourne & pray, although he had a wife which feared God, like himselfe: and that you may see, it is no cheape dalliance for the husband to make the wife, or the wife to make the husbande lesse zealous than they were. In Deut. 13. the wife which did draw her husband from God, is condemned to dye: Therefore good wiues, when their husbands purpose any good, should incourage them like Iacobs wiues, which Gen. 30. 16.bad him doo according to the word of God: and if they see them minded to any euill, they should stay them like the wife of Pilate, which counselled her husbande not to condemne Christ: for seeing holinesse is called the Wedding M…h. 27. 19.garment, who shall weare this Wedding garment, if they Math. 22. 11.weare it not which are wedded? When one holie hath found another, then GOD seemeth to make the marriage, and his Angells come to the feast.

To passe ouer sleights, which Best pollicie in marriage to begin well.seldom prosper, vnlesse they hauehave some warrant. The best pollicie in Marriage, is to begin well, for as bourds well ioyned at first, sit close euer after, but if they square at first, they warp more and more. So they which are well ioyned, are well married, but they which offend their louelove before it be setled, fade eueryevery day like a Marigould, which closeth her flower as the Sunne goeth downe, till they hate one another more then they loued at first.

To begin this concord well, it is They must learne one anothers nature.necessarie to learne one anothers nature, and one anothers affections, and one anothers infirmities, because ye must be helpers, and ye cannot help, vnlesse ye know the disease. Al the iarres almost which do trouble this band, do rise of this, that one dooth not hit the measure of the others heart, to applie themselues to either nature, whereby it commeth to passe, that neyther can refraine, when either is offended; but one sharpneth another, when they had need to bee calmed: Therefore they must learne of Paule, to fashion 1 Cor. 9. 20themselues one to the other, if they would win one another, and if any iarre do arise, in no wise diuide beds for it; for thē the Sunne goeth downe vppon their wrath, and the meanes of reconcilement Ephe. 4. 25.is taken away. GiueGive passions no time; for if some mans anger stand but a night, it turneth to malice which is incurable. The Apostle saith, that there will be offences in 1. Cor. 11. 19.the Church; so sure there will be many offences in Marriage: but as he saith, these are but trials who hauehave faith; so these are trials who are good husbands, and who are good wiues. His anger must bee such a moode, as if hee did chide with himselfe, and their strife as it were a sauce made of purpose to sharpen their louelove when it waxeth vnpleasant; like Ionathans arrowes which were not shot to hurt, but 1. Sam 20. 20.to giuegive warning. Knowing once a couple which were both chollericke, & yet neuer fell out, I asked the man how they did order the A sweete example, teachin… how copl… shall neuer fall out. G…. 1…. 6.matter that their infirmitie did not make them discorde. He answered me, when her fit is vppon her, I yeeld to her, as Abraham did to Sara, and when my fit is vppon me, she yeelds to me, and so we neuer striue together but a sunder. Me thought it was a good example to commend vntounto all married folkes; for euerie one hath his frensie, and loueth them that can beare his infirmitie. Whom will a woman suffer if she will not suffer her husband; and whose defects will a man beare, if hee will not beare hers which beareth his? Thus much of their dueties in generall, now to their seuerall offices.

The man may spell his duety out of his name, for he is called Ephe. 5. 23.the Head: to shew, that as the eye, and the toong, and the eare, are in the head to direct the whole bodie, so the man should be stored with wisedome, and vnderstanding, and knowledge, and discretion, to direct his whole familie, for it is not right that the worse should rule the better, but that the better should rule the worse, as the best rules all. The husband saith, that his wife must obay him because he is her better, therefore if he let her be better than himselfe, he seemes to free her from her obedience, and binde himselfe to obey her.

His first duty is called Harting, that is, hartie affection. As they The husbands first dutie.are handfasted, so they must be hartfasted, for the eye, and the toong, and the hand, will be her enemies, if the hart be not her friend. As Christ draweth all the Commandements to LoueLove, so I may draw all their duties to louelove, which is the hearts gift to the Bride. First, hee must choose his louelove, and then he must louelove hys choice, this is the oyle which maketh all things casie. In Salomons Song, which is nothing else but a description of Christ the Bridegroome, and the Church hys Spouse, one calleth the other LoueLove, to shewe, that though both doe not honour alike, yet both should louelove alike, which the man may do without subiection.

The man is to his wife, in the Vnderstand in his marriage only.place of Christ to his Church: therefore the Apostle requireth such an affection of him toward his Spouse, as Christ beareth toward his Spouse: for he sayeth, Husbands louelove your Wiues as Christ Ephe. 5. 25.loued the congregation, that is, with a holie louelove, with a hartie louelove, and with a constant louelove, as the Church wold be loued of Christ. Will not a man louelove his glorie? Why Paule calleth the woman the glorie of the man, for her reuerence 1. Cor. 11. 7.makes him to be reuerenced, and her praise, makes him to be praised. Therefore he which loueth not his Wife, loueth his shame, because she is his glorie. In Ephes. 5. 28. Paule saith, He which loueth his Wife, loueth himselfe, for Ephe. 5. 28.thereby he inioyeth peace and comfort, and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires: therefore in the same verse Paule counselleth husbands to louelove their wiues as their bodies. And after, in the 33. verse, as though it were too little to louelove them as their bodies, he sayth, Let euerie one louelove his Wife as himselfe, that is, body and soule too. For if God commaunded men to louelove their neighbours as themselues, Leuit. 19. 18.much more are they bound to louelove their wiues as themselues, which are their next neighbours. As Elkanah did not louelove his wife 1. Sam. 1. 8.lesse for her barrennes, but sayd, Am not I better vntounto thee than tenne sonnes? as though he fauoured her more, for that which she thought her selfe despised. So a good husband will not take occasion to louelove his wife lesse for her infirmities, but comfort her more for them, as this man did, that she may beare with his infirmities too. When Christ sayth, that a man Mar. 10. 7.should leaue Father and Mother, to cleaue to his Wife, hee signifieth, how Christ left his Father for his Spouse, and that man doth not louelove his wife so much as he should vntill he affect her more than euer he did his father or mother. Therfore when GOD bad Abraham forsake all his kindred: yet he bad him not forsake his Wife. As Gen. 12. 1.though the other somtime might be forsaken for God, but the wife must bee kept for GOD, like a charge which bindeth for tearme of life.

His next duetie to louelove, is a fruit The husbands second duty.of his louelove, that is, to let all things be cōmon betweene them, which were priuate before. The man & wife are partners like two owers Man and Wise are two partners.in a boate, therefore hee must diuide offices, and affaires, & goods with her, causing her to bee feared and reuerenced, and obeied of her children & seruants like himselfe; for she is as an vnderunder officer in his Common weale, and therefore she must be assisted & borne out, like his deputie, as the Prince standeth with his Magistrates for his owne quiet, because they are the legges which beare him vp. To shew this communitie betweene husband and wife, he is to maintaine her as he dooth himselfe, because Christ saith, They are no more two but one. Mar. 10. 8.Therefore when hee maintaineth her, hee must thinke it but one charge, because he maintaineth no moe but himself, for they two are one. He may not say as Husbands are wōt to say, that which is thine is mine, and that which is mine is my owne: but that which is mine is thine, and my selfe too. For as it is sayd, He which hath giuen vsus his Rom. 8. 32.Sonne, can he denie vsus any thing? So she may say, he which hath giuen me himselfe, can he denie me any thing? The bodie is better than the goodes; therefore if the bodie be mine, the goods are mine too.

Lastly, hee must tender her as much as all her friends, because he The husbands last duety.hath taken her from her friends, and couenanted to tender her for them all. To shew how he should tender her, Peter saith, Honour the 1. Pet. 3. 7.woman as the weaker vessell. As we doo not handle glasses like pots, because they are weaker vessels, but touch thē nicely and softly for feare of cracks; so a man must intreate his wife with gentlenes and softnes; not expecting that wisedome, nor that faith, nor that patience, nor that strength in the weaker vessell, which should be in the stronger; but thinke when he takes a wife he takes a Vineyard, not grapes, but a vineyard to beare him grapes: therfore he must sow it, and dresse it, and water it, and fence it, and thinke it a good vineyard if at last it bring forth grapes. So hee must not looke to finde a wife without a fault, but thinke that she is committed to him to reclaime her from her faults; for all are defectiues: and if he finde the Prouerbe true, that in space commeth grace, hee must reioyce as much at his wife when she mendeth, as the Husbandman reioyceth when his Vineyard beginneth to fructifie.

This is farre from ciuill warres Husbands must hold their hands and Wiues their tungs.betweene man and wife; in all his offices is found no office to fight. The very name of a wife is like the Angell which stayed Abrahams Gen. 22. 12hand whē the stroke was cō ming. If Dauid, because he could not expresse the good and comfort of Vnitie, was faine to say, Oh Psal. 133. 1.how good and ioyfull a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in vnitie? Then weigh and iudge how harsh and bitter a thing it is for man and wife to liue together in emnitie. For the first yeare after Marriage, God would not hauehave the husband Deut. 24. 5.goe to warre with his enemies, but no yeare would he hauehave him warre with his wife, and therfore God gaue him that yeare to stay at home and settle his louelove, that hee might not warre, nor iarre after: for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre. As a kingdome Math. 12. 25.cannot stand if it bee diuided, so a house cannot stand if it bee diuided: for strife is like fire which leaues nothing but dust, & smoake, and ashes behind it. We reade in the Scripture of Masters that stroke their seruants, but neuer of any that stroke his Wife, but rebuked her. Lot was drunke Gen. 19. 33.when hee lay with his daughters in stead of a wife; and is he sober which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants? The lawe sheweth Deut. 23. 2.how a bond man should bee corrected, but the wife is like a Iudge which is ioyned in Commission with her Husband to correct other. Wilt thou strike one in his owne house? no more shouldest thou strike thy wife in her house. She is come to thee as to a Sanctuarie, to defend her from hurt, and canst thou hurt her thy selfe? Therfore Abraham was called Saras Gen. 20. 16.Vayle, because he should shield her; for a Vaile is made to saue. Abraham said to Lot, Are we not brethren? Gen. 13. 8.that is, may brethren iarre? but they may say, are we not one? can one chide without another? can one fight without another? He is a bad Ost, which welcommeth his guest with stripes. Doth a King trample his Crowne? Salomon calleth the wife, the Crowne of the husband, therefore he which Pro. 12. 4.woundeth her, woundeth his honour: She is a free Citizen in thy house, and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her Marriage, to hold thy hands till she release thee againe. Adam saith of his Spouse, This is flesh of my flesh: But no man sayth Paule, Euer hated his Gen. 2. 23. Ephe. 5. 19.owne flesh. So then, if a man aske whether he may strike his wife? God sayth nay, thou mayest not hate thy wife, for no man hateth his owne flesh, shewing, that he should not come neere blowes, but thinke his wrath too much: for Paule saith, Be not bitter to your Col. 3. 16.Wiues: noting that anger in a husband is a vice. EueryEvery man is ashamed to lay hands on a woman, because she cannot match him, therfore he is a shamelesse man which laieth hands on his wife. If a man be seene raging with himselfe, he is carried to Bedlam; so these mad men which beate thēselues should be sent to Bedlam til their madnes be gone. Salomon saith, Delight continually Pro. 5. 16.in her louelove: that is, begin, proceede and ende in louelove. This counsel is broken so often as they discord. In reuenge whereof, he sheweth that their delight is gone, because he calleth LoueLove their delight. Therefore as Paule saith of Bishops, A Bishop must be no striker; 1. Tim. 3. 31. Of his wife. Leu 19. 28. Deut. 14. 1. 1. Ki. 18. 28 It is properly ment in mourning for the dead, but it doth imply an vnlawfulnes to hurt our selues,so a Husband must bee no striker, for hee which striketh his owne flesh, breaketh that lawe which saith, Thou shalt not make a skarre in thy flesh: and is like the Baalites which wounded their owne bodies. Thus wee hauehave sent a letter vntounto Husbands to reade before they fight. Now let vsus goe home to LoueLove againe. Wouldest thou learne how to make thy match delightfull? Salomon said, Reioyce in her louelove continually. As though thou Pro 5. 19.couldst not delight without louelove, and with louelove thou mightest delight continually. Therefore LoueLove is called the thankfull vertue, because it rendereth peace, and ease, and comfort to him that makes of her. So much to Husbands.

Likewise the Woman maye The Womans dueties.learn her duetie out of her names. They are called goodwiues, as goodwife A. and goodwife B. EueryEvery Wife is called Goodwife; therfore if they be not goodwiues their names doo belie them, and they are not worth their titles, but answer to a wrong name as Players doo vponupon a stage. This name pleaseth them wel: but beside this a Wife is called a Yoke fellowe, to Phil. 4. 3.shewe that she should helpe her Husband to beare his yoke, that is, his griefe must bee her griefe; and whether it bee the yoke of pouertie, or the yoke of enuie, or the yoke of sicknesse, or the yoke of imprisonment, she must submit her neck to beare it patiently with him, or els she is not his yoke fellowe, but his yoke, as though she were inflicted vponupon him for a penaltie, like Iobs Wife whome the Iob. 2. 9.diuell left to torment him, when he tooke away all beside. The Apostle Rom. 12. 15.biddeth to reioyce with them that reioyce, and mourne with them that mourne. With whom should the Wife reioyce rather than with her Husband? or with whome should she mourne willinger than with her owne flesh? I will not leaue thee, saith Elisha to Eliah: so she should neuer 2. Kin. 2. 6.leaue him till death. Beare one anothers Gal. 6. 2.burden (saith Paule) who shall beare others burden if the Wife doo not beare her Husbands burden? Wicked Iezabel comforted her Husband in his sicknesse, and 1. Kin. 21. 5Ieroboams Wife sought for his health, though she was as bad as he. God did not bid Sarah leaue her father, and her Countrey, as he Gen. 12. 1.bad her husband, yet because hee bad Abraham leaue his, she left hers too, shewing that she was cō tent not onelyonly to bee his playfellowe, but his yoke fellowe too. Beside a yoke fellowe, she is called a Helper, to helpe him in his businesse, to helpe him in his labours, Gen. 2. 18.to helpe him in his troubles, to helpe him in his sicknesse, like a woman Phisition, sometime with her strength, and sometime with her counsell: for sometime as God confoundeth the wise by the foolish, and the strong by the weake, 1. Cor. 1. 27so he teacheth the wife by the foolish, and helpeth the strong by the weake. Therefore Peter saieth, Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their Wiues. As if he should 1. Pet. 3. 1.say, sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell, and Abraham Gen. 25. 2.may take counsell of Sara, as Naaman was aduised by his seruant. 2. Kin. 5. 3.The Shunamites coūsel made her Husband receiue a Prophet 2. Kin. 9. 10into his house, and Hesters counsell made her Husband spare the Hest. 7. 3.Church: so some hauehave been better helpers to their husbands, than their husbands hauehave bin to them, for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish, as he did the Iewes with the Gentiles.Deut. 32. 21.

Beside a Helper, she is called a Comforter too, & therfore the man Pro. 5. 18.is bid to reioyce in his Wife, which is as much to saye, that Wiues must bee the reioycing of their Husbands, euen like Dauids Harpe to comfort Saule. Therfore it is sayd of Rebeccah, that she prepared 1. Sam. 16. 23. Gen. 27. 9.meate for her husband, such as hee loued: so a good Wife is knowne when her wordes and deedes and countenances are such as her Husband loueth, she must not examine whether he bee wise or simple, but that she is his wife, & therfore they which are bound must obey, as Abigail loued her husband though he was a foole: 1. Sam. 25. 3for the Wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer her Husband, as he for yeelding it vntounto her. It becomes not the Mistris to be Master, no more than it beseemeth the Master to be Mistris, but both to saile with their owne winde.

Lastly, wee call the Wife, Huswife, that is, house wife, not a street Gen. 38. 14. Gen. 34. 1. Why wiues are called Huswiues.wife like Thamar, nor a field wife like Dinah, but a house wife, to shew that a good wife keepes her house: & therefore Paule biddeth Tit. 2. 5.Titus to exhort women that they be chast, & keeping at home: presently after Chast, he saith, keeping at home, as though Home were Chastities keeper. And therefore Salomon depainting the Whore, Pro. 7. 12.setteth her at the doore, now sitting vponupon her stalls, now walking in the streetes, now looking out of the windowes, like curled Iezabel, as if she held forth the glasse 2. King 9. 30.of temptation, for vanitie to gaze vppon. But Chastitie careth to please but one, and therefore she keepes her Closet, as though she were still at prayer. The Angell asked Abraham, where is thy wife? Abraham answered, she is Gen. 18. 9.in the Tent. The Angell knewe where she was, but yet hee asked, that we might see how Women in olde time did keepe their tents and houses. It is recorded of the Shunamite, that she did aske her 2. Kin. 9. 30Husband leaue to goe vntounto the Prophet, though she went to a Prophet, and went of a good errand, and for his cause as much as her owne, yet she thought it not meete to goe farre abroade without her Husbands leaue.

Phidias when he should paint a Woman, painted her sitting vnderunder a Snailes shell; signifying that she should goe like a Snaile, which carrieth his house vponupon his back. Salomon bad Shimei: Goe not beyond 1. King. 2. 36. 37.the riuer: so a Wife should teach her feete, go not beyond the doore; she must count the walles of her house like the bankes of the Husbands should not keepe their Wiues so straight, but Wiues should not think their house their prison, but as their Paradise where they would be.Riuer which Shimei might not passe, if he would please the King. For when Gen. 3. 2.Adam was away, Eue was made a pray: if her Husband bee from her, vntill hee returne againe, she must thinke her selfe a Widdowe, that is, seperate from man: for Vidua doth signifie a viro diuisa, that is, Widdowe doth signifie diuided from man: therefore now she must hauehave no fellowship, no companie with men, because she is diuided from man.

As it becommeth her to keepe home, so it becommeth her to keep silence, and alway speake the best of her head. Other seeke their honour in triumph, but she must seeke her honour in reuerence, for A wife may not vtter her Husbāds saults.it becommeth not any woman to set light by her husband, nor to publish his infirmities. For they say, it is an euill bird that defileth his owne nest: and if a Wife vse her Husband so, how maye the Husband vse the Wife? Because this is the qualitie of that sex, to ouerthwart, and vpbraide, and sue the preheminence of their Husbands, therefore the Philosophers coulde not tell how to define a Wife, but called her The contrarie to a Husband, as though nothing A Wife the contrary to a Husband.were so crosse and contrarie to a man, as a Wife. This is not Scripture, but no slaunder to many. As Dauid exalteth the louelove of women 2. Sam. 1. 26. Pro. 21. 19.aboue all other loues; so Salomon mounteth the enuie of women aboue all other enuies, stubborne, sullen, taunting, gainsaying, outfacing, with such a bitter humour, that one would thinke they were molten out of the salt pillar into which Loths Wife was transformed. Gen. 19. 26.We say not, all are alike, but this sect hath manie Disciples. Dooth the ribbe that is in a mans side fret him, or gall him? no Gen. 2. 20.more should she which is made of the ribbe. Though a woman bee wise and painfull, and hauehave many good parts, yet if she bee a shrewe, her troublesome iarring in the end will make her honest behauiour vnpleasant, as her ouer pinching at last causeth her good huswiferie to be euill spoken off. Therefore although she be a Wife, yet sometime she must obserue the seruants lesson, Not answering againe, & hold Tit. 2. 9.her peace to keep the peace. Therfore they which keepe silence, are well sayd to holde their peace, because silence oftentimes doth keep the peace, when wordes would breake it.

To her silence and patience she must adde The acceptable obedience, which makes a Woman rule while she is ruled. This is the Wiues tribute to her Husband; for she is not called his head, but Ephe. 5. 23.hee is called her head. Great cause hath man to make much of his wife, for great and many are her dueties to him. And therefore Paule saith, Wiues submit your selues Ephe. 5. 22.vntounto your Husbands as to the Lord. Shewing that she should regarde his will as the Lordes will, but How farre the Wife should obey.withall as the Lord commandeth only that which is good & right: so she should obey her Husband in good and right, orels she dooth not obey him as the Lord, but as the tempter. The first subiection of Woman began at sinne; for when GOD cursed her for seducing her Husband, when the Serpent had seduced her, he sayd, He shall hauehave authoritie ouer thee. And Gen. 3. 16.therefore as the man named all other creatures, in signe that they Gen. 2. 20.should bee subiect to him, as a seruant which commeth when his Master calleth him by his name; so he did name the woman also in vers. 23.token that she should be subiect to him likewise. And therefore Asuerus made a lawe, that eueryevery man Hest. 1. 20. 22. Num. 30. 7. Iud. 19. 26.shoulde beare rule in his owne house, and not the Woman. Because she sinned first, therefore she is humbled most, and euer since the daughters of Sara are bound to Gen 18. 12. 1. Pet. 3. 6.call their husbands Lords, as Sara called her husband, that is, to take them for their Lords, for heads & gouernours. If ye disdaine to followe Abrahams Spouse, the Apostle biddeth you followe Christs Spouse: for he saith, Let a wife bee Ephe. 5. 24.subiect to her husband, as the Church is to Christ. A greater louelove than this Ioh. 15. 13.(saith Christ) no man can hauehave. So a better example than this no Woman can hauehave.

That the Wife may yeeld this The cause why many despise their husbands. 1. Tim 2. 9.reuerence to her Husband, Paule would hauehave her attire to bee modest and orderly; for garish apparell hath taught manie gossips to disdaine their husbands. This is the folly of some men, to lay all their pride vponupon their wiues, they care not how they slouen themselues, so their wiues iet like Peacocks. But Peter doth commend 1. Pet. 3. 5.Sara for her attire, and not Abraham, shewing that women should braue it no more than men, and God made Eues coate of the same Gen. 3. 21.cloath that he made Adams. They couered themselues with leaues, Gen. 3. 7.and God derided them, but now they couer themselues with pride, like Sathan which is fallen down Luk. 10. 18.before them like lightning, ruffe vponupon ruffe, lace vponupon lace, cut vpō cut, foure and twentie orders vntil the woman be not precious as her apparell, that if any man would picture vanitie, he must take a patterne of women, or els he cannot drawe her likenes. As Herodias Math. 14. 6.was worse for her fine dauncing, so a woman may hauehave too many ornaments: frisled lockes, naked breasts, painting, perfume, and especially a rowling eye are the forerunners of adulterie, and hee which hath such a wife, hath a fine plague. Once women were married without dowries, because they were well nurtured, but now if they waighed not more in gold than in goodnes, many should sit like nuns without husbāds. Thus we hauehave shadowed the mans dueties to his wife, and the womans to her husband.

After their dueties one to another, Their dueties to their seruants.they must learne their dueties to their familie. One compareth the master of the house to the Seraphin, which came and kindled the Prophets zeale: so he should Esai. 6. 6.goe from wife to seruants, and from seruants to children, and kindle them in the zeale of GOD, longing to teach his knowledge as a Nurse to emptie her breasts. Another saith, that a master in his family hath al the offices of christ: Reu. 5. 10.for hee must rule, and teach, and pray; rule like a King, teach like a Prophet, pray like a Priest. To shewe how a godly man should behaue himselfe in his household, when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conuersion of any housekeeper, lightly he saith, that the man Act. 16. 13. & 18. 8.beleeued with al his houshold. As Peter being conuerted, must conuert his brethren; so the master Luc 22. 32.being conuerted, must conuert his seruants. For therefore God sayd, that he would not hide his counsell from Abraham, because hee Gen. 18. 17.would teach his familie: and surelie all duetie which is not done of conscience, is but eye seruice, and faileth at most neede, as Ziba betraied his master when he should 2. Sam. 16. 3.hauehave defended him. Therefore before One simus was conuerted, Paul Phile. 11.said, he was an vnprofitable seruant: but when hee was conuerted, hee calleth him more than a seruant, because such a seruant is better than many seruants. Therefore though Laban was wicked himselfe, yet Gen. 29. 27.he reioyced that Iacob his seruant was godly, because GOD blessed him better for him. Ioshua saith, I and my houshold will serue the Lord. Shewing that masters should receiue Iosh 24. 15.none into their houses, but whom they can gouerne, as Ioshu… did. Therefore it is noted of Cornelius, that all his houshold serued Act. 10. 2.God like himselfe. This is reported also of Ioseph and Marie for an example, that they went vp euerie yere with all their familie to worship at Ierusalem, that their childrē Luc. 2. 41.and their seruants might learne to know God as well as they. These examples bee written for householders, as other are for Magistrates, and Ministers, and Souldiers, that no calling might seeke further than the Scripture for instruction. Wherefore as you are masters now, and they your seruants, so instruct them and traine them, as if you would shewe what masters they should be hereafter.

After the care of their soules, they must care for their bodies; for if the labourer is worthie of his Luc. 107.hire which laboureth but a day, what is the seruant worth which laboureth euerie day? Therefore Paule is so earnest with Philemon to make much of Onesimus his seruant, that he desireth Philemon to Phile. 17.receiue him as he would himself. Therefore because cruell & greedie Masters should not vse them too hardly, God remembred them in his creation, and made euerie Gen. 2. 2.weeke one day of rest, wherein they should be as free as their Masters: so God pitieth the poore labourer from heauen, and euerie Saboath lookes downe vponupon him from heauen, as if he should say, one day thy labours shall hauehave an ende, and thou shalt rest for euer as thou restest this day.

By this wee see, as Dauid did limit Ioab that hee should not kill g. Sam. 18. 5.Absalom, so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants. Shall God respect thine more than thou? Art thou made fresher to thy labour by a little rest, and is not thy seruant made stronger by rest to labour for thee? How many beasts and sheepe did Laban lose onelyonly for hardly intreating of a good seruant? Gen. 31. 9.Therfore that is the way to lose, but not to thriue. He which counteth his seruant his slaue, is in an error, for there is difference betweene beleeuing seruants, and Infidel seruants: the Infidels were made slaues to the Iewes, because GOD hated them, and would humble them, but their brethren did serue thē like helpers, which should be trained by them.

It is not a base nor a vile thing to be called a seruant, for our Lord Esai. 42. 1. Math. 12. 18.is called a seruant, which teacheth Christians to vse their seruants well for Christs sake, seeing they are seruants too, and hauehave one master Christ. As Dauid speaketh of man, saying, Thou hast made him a Psal. 8. 6.little lower than the Angells: so I may say of seruants, that God hath made them a little lower thā children, not children, but the next to children, as one would say inferiour children, or sonnes in lawe: and therefore the householder is called Paterfamilias, which signifieth a father of his familie, because he shoulde hauehave a fatherly care ouer his seruants, as if they were his children, and not vse thē onelyonly for their labour like beasts. Beside, the name of a seruant doth not signifie suffering, but dooing: therefore masters must not exercise their hands vppon them, but set their hands to worke: and yet as God laieth no more vppon his 1. Cor. 12. 13.seruants than he makes them able to beare; so men should lay no more vppon their seruants than they are able to beare. For a good man (saith Salomon) is mercifull to Pro. 12. 10.his beast, and therefore he will be more mercifull to his brother. That man is not worthie to bee serued which cannot affoord that his seruants should serue God as well as himselfe. GiueGive vntounto God that which is Gods, and then thou maiest take that which is thine. He which careth not for his familie, (saith Paule) is worse than an Infidel: 1. Tim. 5. 8.because Infidels care for their familie. But as Agur praieth, GiueGive me not too much nor too little, but feede me with foode conuenient. So Pro. 30. 8.their care should not be too much nor too little, but conuenient, or els they are worse than Infidells too, because Couetousnes is called Idolatrie, which is worse than Infidelitie: for it is lesse rebellion Ephe. 5. 5.not to honour the King, than to set vp another King against him, as the Idolaters doo against the King of heauen,

Next vntounto seruants instruction and labours, must bee considered their corrections. As Paule saith, Fathers prouoke not your children to Ephe. 6. 4:wrath: So I may say, Masters prouoke not your seruants to wrath, that is, vse such reproofes, & such corrections, that you do not prouoke them, but mooue them, that you doo not exasperate them, but win them; for reuiling words and vnreasonable fiercenes, doth more hurt than good. And therefore the law of God did charge the Master that hee should not inflict aboue fourtie stripes vppon his seruant, Deut. 25. 2.least hee should seeme despised in his eyes. For while a childe, or scholler, or seruant dooth thinke that hee is reprooued for louelove, or beaten with reason, it makes him think of his fault and be ashamed: but when he seeth that he is rebuked with curses and beaten with staues, as though hee were hated like a dogge, his heart is hardened against the man which correcteth him, and the fault for which he is corrected, & after he becommeth desperate, like a horse which turneth vppon the striker: and therefore thinke that GOD euen then chides you, whēsoeuer you chide in such rage. For though there be a fault, yet some things must bee winkt at, & some things forgiuen, and some things punished with a looke; for he which takes the forfeit of eueryevery offence shall neuer rest, but vexe himselfe more than his seruant.

Further, I hauehave heard Experience The master must correct his mē, and the mistris her maides.say, that in these punishments it is most meete and acceptable to the offender, that the man should correct his men, and the woman her maides: for a mans nature skorneth to bee beaten of a woman, and a maides nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man. Therefore wee reade, that Abraham Gen. 16. 6.would not meddle with his maide, but committed her to his wife, and saide, Doo with her as it pleaseth thee. As if he should say, it belongeth not to me but to thee.

Lastly, we put the duetie toward Their dueties toward their children.children, because they come last to their hands. In Latin children are called Pignora, that is pledges, as if I should say, a pledge of the husbands louelove to the wife, and a pledge of the wiues louelove toward the husband: for there is nothing which doth so knit louelove between the man and the wife, as the fruite of the wombe. Therefore when Leah began to conceaue, she sayd, Gen. 28. 31.now my husband will louelove me, as though the husband did louelove for children. If a woman hauehave many defects (as Leah had) yet this is the mends which she makes her husband to bring him childrē, which is the right Wedding Ring that sealeth and maketh vp as it were the Marriage. When their father and mother fall out, they pert vp betweene them like little mediators, and with many pretie sportes make truce when other dare not speake to thē. Therefore now let vsus consider what these little ones may challenge of their parents, which stād thē in sted of Lawiers.

The first duetie is the mothers, Mothers should nurse their children. Gen. 21. 7.that is, to nurse her childe at her owne breasts, as Sara did Isaak: & therefore Esaiah ioyneth the nurces name and the mothers name both in one, and calleth them nurcing mothers: shewing that mothers should bee the nurces. So whē God chose a nurce for Moses, Exo. 2. 8.he led the handmaid of Pharaohs daughter to his mother, as though GOD would hauehave none to nurse him but his mother. After, when the Sonne of God was borne, his father thought none fit to bee his Math. 2. 14nurse but the Virgin his mother. The fountaines of the earth are made to giuegive water, & the breasts of women are made to giuegive suck. EueryEvery beast, and eueryevery foule, is bred of the same that did beare it, onelyonly women louelove to be mothers, but not nurces. Therefore if their children prooue vnnaturall, they may say thou followest thy mother, for she was vnnaturall first in locking vp her breasts from thee, and committing thee foorth like a Cuckowe to bee hatched in the Sparowes nest. Hereof it comes that wee say, he suckt euill from the dugge, that is, as the Nurse is affected in her bodie or in her minde, commonly the childe draweth the like infirmitie from her, as the egges of a Henne are altered vnderunder a Hawke: yet they which hauehave no milke can giuegive no milke; but whose breasts hauehave this perpetuall drought? Forsooth it is like the Gowte, no beggers may hauehave it, but Citizens or Gentlewomen. In the 9. of Hosee, drie breasts are named for a curse; what lamentable hap hauehave Gentlewomen to light vponupon this curse more than other? Sure if their breasts bee drie as they say, they should fast & pray together that this curse might bee remooued from them.

The next duetie is, Catechize Pro. 22. ….child in his youth, and he will remember it when he is olde. This is the right blessing which fathers and mothers giuegive to their children, when they cause GOD to blesse them too. The wrong mother cared 1. King. 3. 26.not though the child were diuided, but the right mother wold not hauehave it diuided: so wicked parents care not though their children be destroyed, but godly parents would not hauehave them destroyed but saued, that when they hauehave dwelt together in earth, they may dwell together in heauen. As the Midwife frameth the bodie when it is yong and tender, so the parēts must frame the mind while it is greene and flexible, for youth is the seede time of vertue. They which are called fathers, are called Luk. 11. 2.by the name of God, to warne thē that they are in stead of GOD to their children, which teacheth all his sonnes. What example hauehave children but their parents? And sure the prouidence of God doth ease their charge more than they are aware; for a childe will learne better of his father, than of any other. And therfore we reade of no Schoolemasters in the Scripture Except of Kings sons.but the parents: for when Christ saith to the Iewes, If ye be the sonnes of Abraham, ye will doo the workes Iohn. 8. 30.of your father Abraham. He sheweth that sonnes vse to walke in their fathers steps whether they be good or bad. It is a merueilous delight to father & mother when people say that their children are like them: but if they be like them in goodnes, it is as great a delight to other as to the parents: or els wee say that they are so like, that they are worse for it. Well doth Dauid call children arrowes, for if Psal. 127. 4.they bee well bred they shoote at their parents enemies, & if they be euill bred they shoote at their parents. Therfore many fathers want a staffe to stay them in their age, because they prepared none before; like olde Eli which was corrected himselfe for not correcting 1. Sa. 2. 29.his sonnes. Are not children called the fruit of their parēts? Therfore Psal. 132. 11. Math. 12. 33.as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite, so parents should shewe their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruite. For this cause the Iewes were 1. Sam. 1. 20 2. Sam 12. 24.wont to name their children so when they were borne, that euer after if they did but thinke vppon their names, they would put them in minde of that religion which they should professe, for they did signifie somthing that they should learne. An admonition to such as call their children at al aduentures, sometimes by the names of doggs euen as they prooue after. In the 1. King. 2. 2. wee hauehave Dauid instructing his sonnes: In Gen. 39. Iaacob correcting his sonnes: and in Iob. 1. Iob praying for his sonnes: These three put together, Instructing, Correcting, and Praying, make good children and happie parents.

Once Christ tooke a child and set him in the middest of his Disciples, and sayd, He which will receiue Luc. 18. 17.the kingdome of heauen, must receiue it as a little child. Shewing that our children should bee so innocent, so humble, and voide of euill, that they may bee taken for examples of the children of God. Therefore in Psal. 127. 4. children are called the heritage of the Lord, to shewe that they should bee trained as though they were not mens children but Gods, that they may hauehave Gods heritage after. Thus if you doo, your seruants shall bee Gods seruants, and your children shall bee Gods children, and your Col. 4. 15. Phil. 1. 2.house shall be Gods house, like a little Church when others are like a den of theeues.

Now I speake to one which is The name of Stepmothers expounded, and their duetie.a mother so soone as she is maried: therefore peraduenture you looke that I should shewe the duetie of stepmothers. Their name dooth shewe them their duetie too; for a stepmother dooth signifie a stedmother, that is, one mother dyeth, & another commeth in her stead; therfore that your louelove may settle to those little ones as it ought, you must remember that you are their stedmother, that is, in sted of their mother, & therfore to louelove them, and tender them, and cherish them as their mother did. Further, these children are Orphanes, and therefore you must not onelyonly regarde them as children, but as Orphane children. Now, God requireth a greater care ouer Widdowes and Ier. 22. 2. Deut. 14. 17. & 24. 17. & 26. 12.Orphanes, than ouer any other women or children. Lastly, you must remember that saying, As you measure vntounto other, so it shall be Mat 7. 2.measured to you againe. That is, as you intreate these children, so an other may come after and intreate your children; for he which hath taken away the first mother, and sent you, can take away the second mother and send a third, which shall not bee like a stedmother to yours, vnlesse you be like a stedmother to these.

If these dueties bee performed in Marriage, then I need not speak Diuorcement the phisicke of Marriage.of Diuorcement, which is the rod of Marriage, and diuideth them which were one flesh, as if the bodie and soule were parted a sunder. But because all performe not their Wedlocke vowes, therfore hee which appoynted Marriage, hath appoynted Diuorcement, as Math. 18. 9.it were taking our priuiledge frō vsus when we abuse it. As God hath ordained remedies for eueryevery disease, so he hath ordained a remedie for the disease of Marriage. The disease of Marriage is Adulterie, and the medicine hereof is Diuorcement. Moses licenced thē to depart for hardnes of heart, but Math. 19. 8Christ licenseth them to depart for no cause but Adulterie. If they might bee separated for discorde, some would make a commoditie of strife; but now they are not best to bee contentious, for this lawe will hold their noses together, till wearines make them leaue strugling, like two spaniels which are coupled in a chaine, at last they learne to goe together, because they may not goe a sunder. As nothing might part friends, But if thine eye offend thee pull it cut, that Mat. 5. 32.is, if thy friend bee a tempter: so Mat. 19. 9.nothing may dissolue Marriage but Fornication, which is the breach of Marriage: for Marriage is ordained to auoid Fornication, 1Cor. 7. 10.and therefore if the condition bee broken, the obligation is voide. And beside, so long as all her children are his children, she must needes be his wife, because the father and mother are man & wife: but when her children are not his children, she seemes no more to be his wife but the others, whose children she beares, and therefore to be diuorsed from him. In all the old Testament we reade of no diuorce betweene any, which sheweth that they liued chaster thā we: yet no doubt this lawe was better executed amōgst thē, than amōgst vsus. Such a care God hath had in al ages & callings to prouide for thē which liue honestly: for Diuorcement is not instituted for the carnall, but for the chast, least they should bee tied to a plague while they liue. As for the Adulterer and Adulteresse he hath assigned Leu. 20. 10.death to cut them off, least their breath should infect others. Thus he which made Marriage, did not make it vnseparable, for then Mariage were a seruitude. But as Christ saith of the Sabaoth, The Sabaoth was made for man, that is, Mar. 2. 27.for the benefite of man, and not for the hinderance of man: so Marriage was made for man, that is, for the honour of man, and not for the dishonour of man: but if Marriage should turne to Fornication, Louît. 20. 10.and when it is turned to Fornication, there might be no separation, then Marriage were not for the honour of man, but for the trouble and griefe and dishonour of man. Therefore now ye hauehave heard how Diuorcement is appoynted for a remedie of Fornication, if any bee ashamed of this phisicke, let them bee more ashamed of the disease.

Because I hauehave spoken more Conclusi quethan you can remember, if you aske me, what is most needfull to beare away? In my opinion there is one saying of Paule, which is the profitablest sentence in all the A sentence for the maried to think vponupon.Scripture, for Man and Wife to meditate often, and examine whether they finde it in themselues as they doo in other, least their Marriage turne to sinne, which should further them in godlinesse. In the 1. Cor. 7. 32. it is sayd, The vnmaried 1. Cor. 7. 32.man careth for the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord, but he that is married careth for the things of the world, how he may please his wife. Likewise, The vnmaried woman careth for the things of the Lord how she may bee holy, but she that is married, careth for the things of the world how she may please her Husband. As though their pleasing of God were now turned all to pleasing one another, and their carnall louelove had eaten their spiritual louelove, as the leane kine deuoured the fat. Therefore it followeth in the next Gen. 41. 4.words, This I speake for your commoditie: As though there were Vers. 34.great commoditie in remembring this watch word. All men hauehave not the feeling of Gods worde, or els such a sentence might bee an anchor to all which are married, to stay them when any temptation goeth about this chaunge, which Paule feared euen in them which seared God before. If thou hauehave read all this booke, and art neuer the better, yet catch this flower before thou goe out of the garden, and peraduenture the sent thereof will bring thee backe to smell the rest. As the corps of Hazael made the passengers to stand, 1. Sam. 1. 23.so I hauehave placed this sentēce in the doore of thy passage, to make thee stande and consider what thou doest before thou marriest. For this is the scope and operation of it, to call the minde to a solemne meditation, and warne him to liue in Marriage as in a temptation, which is like to make him worse than he was, as the Marriage of Iehoram did, if he vse not Iobs preseruatiue 2. Chro. 21. 6. Iob. 9. 28.to bee ielous ouer all his life. The alluremēts of beautie, the troubles about riches, the charges of children, the losses by seruants, the vnquietnes of neighbours crie vntounto him that hee is entered into the hardest vocation of all other: and therefore they which hauehave but nine yeares prentiship to make them good Mercers or Drapers, hauehave nineteene yeares before Mariage to learne to bee good Husbands and Wiues, as though it were a trade of nothing but Mysteries, and had neede of double time ouer all the rest. Therefore so often as you thinke vppon this saying, thinke whether you bee examples of it, and it will waken you, and chide you, and leade you a straight path, like the Angell which led the seruant of Abraham.Gen. 24. 48.

Thus I hauehave chalked the way, to prepare you vntounto Marriage, as the Leuites prepared their brethren 2. Chro. 35. 6.to the Passeouer: Remember that this day ye are made one, and therefore must hauehave but one will. And now the Lord Iesus in whome ye are contracted, knit your harts together, that ye may louelove one another like Dauid and Ionathan, and 1. Sam. 18. 8goe before you in this life, like the Starre which went before the Math. 2. 9.Gentiles, that yee may begin, and proceede, and end in his glorie. To whom be all glorie for euer.

Amen.

FINIS.

A Treatise of the Lords Supper, in two Sermons.

Imprinted at London by Thomas Orwin for Thomas Man, dwelling in Paternoster row at the signe of the Talbot. 1591.

A Preparative to Marriage, Text – Title page 2

p. 1A Preparatiue to Marriage.

A Treatise of the Lords Supper; in two Sermons.

A Preparatiue to Marriage.