The Souls Conflict With Itself, Chapter 33
CHAP. XXXIII.
Of experience, and Faith, and how to wait on God comfortably. Helps thereto.
[My God.]
THese words further imply a speciall experience, that David's soule had felt of the goodnesse of God, hee had found God distilling the comfort of his goodnesse and truth through the promises, and he knew he should finde God againe the same he was, if hee put him in minde of his former gracious dealing. His soule knew right well, how good God was, and he could seal to those truths he had found comfort by, therefore he thus speakes to his soule, My soule, what my soule, that hast found God so good, so oft, so many wayes, thou My soule to be discouraged, having God, and My God, with whom I have taken so much sweet counsell, and felt so much comfort from, and found alwayes heretofore to sticke so close unto me? Why shouldst thou now bee in such a case, as if God and thou ha… beene strangers one to another. If we could treasure up experiments, the former part of our life, would come in to help the latter, and the longer we live, the richer in faith we should be. Even as in victories, every former overthrow of an enemy, helps to obraine a succeeding victory. The use of a sanctified memory, is to lose nothing that may help in time of need. Hee had need be a well tryed, and a known friend, upon whom wee lay all our salvation and comfort.
We ought to trust God upon other God to be trusted though never tryed.grounds, though wee had never tryed him: but when hee helps our faith by former experience, this should strengthen our confidence, and shore up our spirits, and put us on to goe more cheerefully to God, as to a tried friend. If we were well read in the story of our owne lives, wee might have a divinity of our owne, drawn out of the observation of Gods particular dealing towards us; we might say this & this truth, I dare venture upon, I have found it true, I dare build all my happinesse up… it. As Paul, I know whom I have trust…d, I have tryed him, he never yet failed …e, I am not now to learn how faithfull …e is to those that are his. Every new experience is a new knowledge of God, …nd should fit us for new encounters. If we have been good in former times, God remembers the kindnesse of our Ier. 2. ….…uth: we should therefore remember the kindnesse of God even from our youth. Evidence of what we have felt, helps our faith in that, which for the present we feele not.
Though it bee one thing to live by saith and another thing to live by sight, yet the more wee see, and feele, and …aste of God, the more we shall be led …o rely on him, for that which as yet we neither see nor feele: Because thou hast Psal. 63. 7.…een my helper (saith David) therefore in …be shadow of thy wings will I rejoyce. The time was Lord, when thou shewedst thy selfe a gracious Father to me, and thou art unchangeable in thy nature, in …hy love, and in thy gifts.
Yea, when there is no present evidence, but God shewes himselfe … contrary to us, yet a former taste … Gods goodnesse will enable to lay claime unto him still. Gods concealing of himselfe is but a wise discipline for a time, untill we be enabled to beare the full revealing of himselfe unto us for ever. In the meane time, though we have some sight and feeling of God, yet our constant living is not by it: the evidence of that we see not, is that which more constantly upholds the soule, then the evidence of any thing we see or feele.
Yea, though our experience by reason of our not minding of it in trouble, seemes many times to stand us in no stead, but we fare as if God had never looked in mercy upon us: Yet (even here) some vertue remaines of former sense, which with the present spirit of faith, helps us to looke upon God as ours. As wee have a present strength from food received, and digested before; vessels are something the better for that liquor they keep not, but runs through them.
But if experience should wholly fail, …ere is such a divine power in faith, as Faith alo… a sufficient support.… very little beame of it, having no other help then a naked promise, will uphold the soule; howsoever we must neglect no help, for God oft suspends his comfort, till wee have searched all our helps. Though we see no light, yet we ought to search alcrevises for light, and rejoyce in the least beam of light, Cum omnium incertus sit eventus, ad …a accedimus de quibus … sperandum esse credimus. Sen.that we may see day by. It is the nature of true faith, to search and pry into every corner; and if after all nothing appeares, then it casts it selfe upon God, as in the first conversion, when it had nothing to looke upon, but the offer of free mercy. If at that time without former experience, wee did trust God, Why not now, when we have forgotten our experience? the chiefe grounds of trusting God, are alwayes the same, whether we feele, or feel not; nay, though for the present wee feele the contrary, faith will never leave wrastling, till it hath gotten a blessing. When faith is driven to work alone, having nothing but God, and his bare promise to rely upon, then God thinks it lies upon his credit to shew himselfe as a God unto us. Gods power in creating light out of darknes, is never more exalted, then when a guilty soul is lifted up by God to look for mercy, even when he seems armed with justice, to execute vengeance upon him; then the The conformity of the soul to Christ.soul is brought to a neere conformity unto Christ, who 1. when he had the guilt of the sins of the whole world upon 1.him. 2. When he was forsaken, and 2.that after he had enjoyed the sweetest communion with his Father that ever creature could do. And not only so, but 3. felt the weight of Gods just displeasure against sin; and 4. was abased lower 3.then ever any creature was, yet still hee 4.held fast God, as his God.
In earthly matters, if we have a Title to any thing by gift, contract, inheritance, or howsoever, wee will not bee wrangled out of our right. And shall we not maintain our right in God, against all the tricks & cavils of Satan, & our own hearts? We must labor to have something, that we may shew that we are within the covenant. If we be never … little entred into the covenāt, we are …e. And herein lies the speciall cōfort … sincerity, that though our grace bee …ttle, yet it is of the right stampe, and …hews us, that we are servants, and sons, though unworthy to be so. Here a little …uth will goe farre. Hence it is that the …aints in all their extremities, stil alledg somthing, that shews that they are within the covenāt, We are thy childrē, thy people, & thy servāts, &c. God is mindful of his covenant, but is well pleased, that we should mind him of it too; & minde it our selves to make use of it, as David doth here. Hee knew if he could bring His soul to His God, all would be quiet.
God is so ready to mercy, that he delighteth in it, and delighteth in Christ, through whom hee may shew mercy notwithstāding his justice, as being fully satisfied in Christ. Mercy is his name that he will be known by. It is his glory which we behold in the face of Christ, who is nothing but grace and mercy it selfe. Nay, he plead… reasons for mercy, even from the sinfulnesse and misery of his creature, and maintaines his owne mercy against all the wrangling cavills of flesh and blood, that would put mercy from them, and hearken more willingly to Sathans objections, then Gods arguments, till at length God subdues their spirits so farre, as they become ashamed for standing out so long against him. How ready will God be to shew mercy to us when we seeke it, that thus presseth upon us, when we seeme to refuse it? If God should take advantage of our way wardnesse, what would become of us? Sathans course is to discourage those that God would have encouraged, and to encourage those whom God never speakes peace unto, and hee thinkes to gaine both wayes. Our care therefore should be, when we resolve upon Gods wayes, to labour that no discouragement fasten upon us, seeing God and his word speake all comfort to us.
And because the best of a Christian is to come, we should raise up our spirits to waite upon God, for that mercy which is yet to come. All inferiour waitings for good things here, doe but …aine us up in the comfortable expe…ation of the maine.
This waiting on God, requires a great Waiting difficult.strength of grace, by reason not onelyonly … of the excellency of the things wai…ed 1.for, (which are farre beyond any thing we can hope for in the world.) …ut 2. in regard of the long day which 2.God takes before hee performeth his promise, and 3. from thence the tediousnesse 3.of delay. 4. The many troubles 4.of life in our way. 5. The great 5.apposition we meet with in the world. …. and scandalls oft times even from 6.them that are in great esteeme for Religion. 7. together with the untoward…esse of our nature in being ready to be 7.put off by the least discouragement. In these respects there must be more then … humane spirit to hold up the soule, …d cary it along to the end of that which we wait for.
But if God be our God, that love which engaged him to binde himselfe to us in precious promises; will furnish … likewise with grace needfull, till we be possessed of them. Hee will give us leave to depend upon him both for happinesse, and all sanctifying and quieting graces, which may support the soule, till it come to its perfect rest in God. For God so quiets the hearts of his children, as withall, he makes them better, and fitter for that which he provides for them, grace and peace goe together; Our God is the God of grace and peace, of such graces as breed peace.
1. As he is a God of love, nay love it selfe to us, so a taste of his love, raising 1.up our love is better then wine, full of nothing but encouragement; it will fetch up a soule from the deepest discouragement: this grace quickneth all other graces, it hath so much spirits in it as will sweeten all conditions. Love inables to waite, as Iacob for Lea seaven Gen. 39.yeares. Nothing is hard to love; it caries all the powers of the soule with it.
2. As he is a God of hope, so by this grace as an anchor fastned in heaven 2.within the vaile, he stayeth the soule; that though as a Ship at Anchor, it may be tossed and moved, yet not removed from its station. This hope as corke, will …eep the soul (though in some heavinesse) from sinking, and as an Helmet Ephes. 6.…eare off the blowes that they endanger not our life.
3. As God is a God of hope, so by 3.hope of patience, which is a grace wher…y the soule resigneth up it self to God …n humble submission to his will, because he is our God, as David in extremity comforted himselfe in the Lord his God. Patience breeds comfort, because it brings experience with it of Gods ow…ing of us to be His. The soul shod and Ephes. 6.…enced with this, is prepared against all …bs and thornes in our way, so as wee …e kept from taking offence. All troubles we suffer, doe but help patience to its perfect worke, by subduing the unbroken Rom. 53.sturdinesse of our spirits, when wee feele by experience, wee get but more blowes, by standing out against God.
4. The Spirit of God (likewise) is a spirit of meeknesse, whereby though the 4.…ul be sensible of evill, yet it mode…tes such distempers, as would otherwise rob a man of himselfe; and together with patience keepeth the soul in possession of it selfe. It stayes murmurings and frettings against God or man. It sets and keepes the soul in tune. It is that which God (as hee workes so hee) much delights in, and sets a price upon it, as the chiefe ornament of the soul. The Zeph. 2. 3.meek of the earth seek God, and are hid in the day of his wrath: whereas high spirits that compasse themselves with pride as with a chain, thinking to set out Psal. 73. 6.themselves by that which is their shame, are looked upon by God a farre off. Meek persons will bow, when others break; they are raised when others are pluckt down, and stand when others that mount upon the wings of vanity fall; these prevaile by yeelding, and are Lords of themselves, and other things Mat. 5. 5.else, more then other unquiet spirited men: the blessings of heaven and earth attend on these.
5. So likewise contentednesse with our estate, is needfull for a waiting condition, 5.and this we have in Our God being able to give the soul full satisfaction. For outward things God knowes …ow to dyet us; If our condition be not … our minde, he will bring our minde … our condition. If the spirit bee too …gge for the condition, it is never qui…, therefore God will levell both. Those wants be well supplyed that are made up with contentednesse, and with …hes of a higher kinde. If the Lord …e our Shepheard, we can want nothing Psal. 23.This lifteth the weary hands and feeble Heb. 12. 12…ees, even under chastisement, wherein though the soule mourneth in the sence of Gods displeasure, yet it rejoyceth in his Fatherly care.
6. But patience and contentment are …o low a condition for the soul to rest 6.…, therefore the spirit of God raiseth it vp to a spirituall enlargement of joy. So much joy, so much light, and so much hight, so much scattering of darknesse of …pirit. We see in nature how a little light will prevaile over the thickest clouds of darknesse, a little fire wastes a great …eale of drosse. The knowledge of God to be our God, brings such a light of joy into the soul, as driveth out… dark uncomfortable conceits; this light makes lightsome. If the light of knowledge alone makes bold, much more the light of joy arising from our communion and interest in God. How can wee enjoy God, and not joy in him? A soule truely cheerefull rejoyceth that God whom it loveth, should think it worthy to endure any thing for him. This joy often ariseth to a spirit of glory, even in matter of outward abasement; if the trouble accompanyed with disgrace continue, the spirit of glory rests upon us, and it will rest so long, untill it make us more then Conquerours, even then when we seeme conquered: for not onelyonly the cause, but the spirit riseth higher, the more the enemies labour to keepe it under, as we see in Stephen.Acts 7.
With this joy goeth a spirit of courage and confidence. What can daunt that soule, which in the greatest troubles hath made the great God to be its owne? Such a spirit dares bid defiance to all opposite power, setting the soule above the world, having a spirit larger and higher then the world, and seeing all (but God) beneath it, as being in heaven already in its head. After Moses and Micah had seene God in his favour to them, how little did they regard the angry countenances of those mighty Princes that were in their times, the terrours of the world? The courage of a Christian is not onelyonly against sensible danger, and of flesh and bloud, but against principalities, and powers of darknesse, against the whole kingdome of Sathan, the god of the world, whom hee knowes shortly shall be trodden under his feet. Sathan and his may for a time exercise Rom. 16. 20.us, but they cannot hurt us. True beleevers are so many Kings and Queens, so many Conquerours over that which others are slaves to: they can overcome themselves in revenge, they can despise those things that the world admires, and see an excellency in that which the world sets light by, they can set upon spirituall duties, which the world cannot tell how to goe about, and endure that which others tremble to think of, and that upon wise reasons, and a sound foundation, they can put off themselves, and be content to be nothing, so their God may appeare the greater, and dare undertake and undergoe any thing for the glory of their God. This courage of Christians among the Heathens Tertul…in Apologet.was counted obstinacy, but they knew not the power of the spirit of Christ in his, which is ever strongest, when they are weakest in themselves, they knew not the privy armour of proofe that Christians had about their hearts, and thereupon counted their courage to be obstinacy.
Some think the Martyrs were too prodigall of their bloud, and that they might have beene better advised; but such are unacquainted with the force of the love of God kindled in the heart of his childe, which makes him set such a high price upon Christ and his truth, that he counts not his life dear unto him; Act. 20. 24.He knowes hee is not his owne, but hath given up himselfe to Christ, and therefore all that is his, yea if hee had more lives to give for Christ, hee should have them. He knowes he shall be no looser by it. Hee knowes it is not a losse of his life, but an exchange for a better.
We see the creatures that are under us, will be couragious in the eye of their Masters, that are of a superiour nature above them, and shall not a Christian be couragious in the presence of his great Lord and Master, who is present with him, about him, and in him? undoubtedly hee that hath seene God once in the face of Christ, dares look the grimmest creature in the face, yea death it selfe under any shape. The feare of all things flyes before such a soule. OnelyOnly a Christian is not ashamed of his confidence. Why should not a Christian be as bold for his God, as others are for the base gods they make to themselves?
7. Besides a spirit of courage (for 7.establishing the soule) is required a spirit of constancie, whereby the soule is steeled and preserved immoveable in all conditions, whether present or to come, and is not changed in changes. And why? but because the spirit knows that God on whom it rests is unchangeable. We our selves are as quick-silver unsetled and moveable, till the spirit of constancie fixe us. We see David sets out God in glorious termes, borrowed from all that is strong in the creature, to shew that hee had great reason to be constant, and cleaving to him, He is my Psal. 18.rock, my Buckler, the horn of my salvation, my high Tower, &c. God is a rock so deep, that no flouds can undermine, so high, that no waves can reach though they rise never so high, and rage never so much. When wee stand upon this rock that is higher then wee, wee may over-looke all waves, swelling, and foaming, and breaking themselves, but not hurting us. And thereupon may triumphantly conclude with the Apostle, That neither height, nor depth shall ever Rom. 8. 39separate us from the love of God. Whatsoever is in the creature he found in his God, and more aboundant; the soule cannot with an eye of faith look upon God in Christ, but it will be in its degree as God is quiet and constant, the spirit aimeth at such a condition, as it beholdeth in God towards it selfe.
This constancy is upheld by endeavouring to keepe a constant sight of God, for want of which it oft fares with us, like men, that having a City or Tower in their eye, passing through uneven grounds, hils and dales, sometimes get the sight thereof, sometimes lose it, and sometimes recover it againe, though the Tower be still where it was, and they neerer to it thē they were at first. So it is oft with our uneven spirits; when once wee have a sight of God, upon any present discouragement, wee let fall our spirits, and lose the sight of him, untill by an eye of faith we recover it againe, and see him still to be where he was at first. The cherishing of passions take away the sight of God, as clouds take away the sight of the Sun, though the Sunne be still where it was, and shineth as much as ever it did. We use to say, when the body of the Moon is betwixt the Sunne and us, that the Sunne is eclipsed, when indeed not the Sunne but the earth is darkned, the Sun loseth not one of its glorious beames. God is oft neere us, as he was unto Iacob, and we are not aware of it. God was neere the holy man Asaph, when hee thought him far off. I am continually Psal. 73. 27with thee (saith hee) thou holdest me by my right hand. Mary in her weeping passion could not see Christ before her, hee seemed a stranger unto her. So long as we can keep our eye upon God, we are above the reach of sin or any spirituall danger.