The Souls Conflict With Itself, Chapter 11
CAP. XI.
Signes of victory over our selves, and of … subdued spirit.
BVt how shall we know, whether we have by grace got the victory over our selves Quest.or not?
I answer, if in good actions we stand not so much upon the credit of the Answ. 1.action, as upon the good that is done. What we doe as unto God, wee looke for acceptance from God. It was Ion… his fault to stand more upon his owne reputation, than the glory of Gods mercy. It is a prevailing signe, when though there be no outward encouragements, Nay, though there be discouragements, yet wee can rest in the comfort of a good intention. For usually inward comfort is a note of inward sincerity. Iehu must be seene, or else all 2 Kings 10. 16.is lost.
2. It is a good evidence of some prevailing, when upon Religious 2.grounds wee can crosse our selves in those things unto which our hearts stand most affected, this sheweth wee reserve GOD his owne place in our hearts.
3. When being privie to our owne inclination and temper, wee have gotten 3.such a supply of spirit, as that the grace which is contrary to our temper appeares in us. As oft wee see, none more patient, than those that are naturally enclined to intemperancie of passion, because naturall pronenesse maketh them jealous over themselves. Some, out of feare of being over-much moved, are not moved so much as they should be: This jealousie stirreth us up to a carefull use of all helps; Where grace is helped by nature, there a little grace will goe farre; but where there is much untowardnesse of nature, there much grace is not so well discerned. Sowre wines need much sweetning. And that is most spirituall which hath least helpe from nature, and is wonne by prayer and paines.
4. When wee are not partiall when the things concerne our selves. Da… 4.could allow himselfe another m… wife, and yet judgeth another m… worthy of death for taking away a p… mans lambe. Men usually favour themselves 2. Sam. 12. 4.too much, when they are Chancellors in their owne cause, and measure all things by their private interest. Hee hath taken a good degree in Christs Schoole, that hath learned to forget himselfe here.
5. It is a good signe, when upō discovery of selfe-feeking we can gaine upon 5.our corruption; and are willing to search and to be searched, what our inclination is, and where it faileth. Th… which we favour, we are tender of, … must not be touched. A good heart, when any corruption is discovered by a searching Ministry, is affected as if it had found out a deadly enemy. Touchinesse and passion argues guilt.
6. This is a signe of a mans victory 6.over himselfe, when hee loves health and peace of body and minde, with a supply of all needfull things, chiefly for this end, that hee may with more freedome of spirit serve God in doing good to others. So soone as grace entreth into the heart, it frameth the heart to be in some measure publique: and thinks it hath not its end, in the bare enjoying of any thing, untill it can improve what it hath for a further end. Thus to seeke our selves, is to deny our selves, and thus to deny our selves, is truely to seeke our selves. It is no selfe-seeking, when wee care for no more then that, without which we cannot comfortably serve God. When the soule can say unto GOD, Lord as thou wouldest have mee serve thee in my place; so grant me such a measure of health and strength, wherein I may serve thee.
But what if God thinks it good, that Object.I shall serve him in weaknesse, and in want, and suffering.
Then, it is a comfortable signe of Answ.gaining over our owne wills, when we can yeeld our selves to bee disposed of by God, as knowing best what is good for us. There is no condition but therein we may exercise some grace, and honour GOD in some measure. Yet because some enlargement of conditi… is ordinarily that estate wherein wee are best able to doe good in; wee may in the use of meanes desire it, and upon that, resigne up our selves wholly unto GOD, and make his will our will, without exception or reservation, and care for nothing more than wee can have with his leave and love. This I… had exercised his heart unto; where▪ upon in that great change of condition, hee sinned not, that is, fell not into Job ….the sinnes incident to that dejected and miserable state; into sinnes of rebellion and discontent. He caried his crosses comely, with that stayednesse and resignednesse, which became a holy man.
7. It is further a cleare evidence of a spirit subdued, when wee will discover 7.the truth of our affection towards God and his people, though with censure of others. David was content to endure the censure of neglecting the state and Majesty of a King, out of joy for setling the Arke. Nehemiah could Neh. 2. 3.not dissemble his griefe for the ruines of the Church, though in the Kings presence: It is a comfortable signe of the wasting of selfe-love, when wee can be at a point what becomes of our selves, so it goe well with the cause of God and the Church.
Now the way to prevaile still more over our selves, (as when we are to do or suffer any thing, or withstand any person in a good cause, &c.) is, not to thinke that we are to deale with men, How to get the mastery of our selves.yea, or with Devils so much as with our selves. The Saints resisted their enemies to death, by resisting their owne corruptions first: if we once get the victory over our selves, all other things are conquered to our ease. All the hurt Satan and the world doe us, is, by correspondency with our selves. A… things are so farre under us, as wee a… Te vince & mundus tibi victus est, &c.above our selves.
For the further subduing of our selves, it is good to follow sinne to the first Hold and Castle, which is corrup… nature; The streames will leade us to the Spring head: Indeed the most apparant discovery of sinne is in the outward carriage; wee see it in the fr… before in the root; as wee see grace in the expression before in the affection: But yet wee shall never hate sinne thorowly, untill we consider it in the poysoned root from whence it ariseth.
That which least troubles a natural man, doth most of all trouble a tr… Christian; A naturall man is sometimes troubled with the fruit of his corruption, and the consequents of guilt and punishment that attend it; but a true hearted Christian, with corruption it selfe; this drives him … complaine with St. Paul, O wr… man that I am, who shall deliver me, … Rom. 7.from the members onelyonly, but from … body of death? Which is as noysom… to my soule, as a dead carrion is to my senses; which together with the members, is marvellously nimble and active; and hath no dayes, or houres, or minuits of rest; alwayes laying about it to enlarge it selfe, and like spring-water, which the more it issueth out, the more it may.
It is a good way, upon any particular breach of our inward peace, presently to have recourse to that which breeds and foments all our disquiet. Lord, what doe I complaine of this my unruly passion? I carry a nature about me subject to breake out continually opon any occasion; Lord, strike at the root, and dry up the fountaine in mee. Thus David doth arise from the guilt of those two foule sinnes, of Murther Psal. 51.and Adultery; to the sinne of his nature, the root it selfe; As if hee should say, Lord, it is not these actuall sinnes that defile mee onelyonly; but if I looke backe to my first conception, I was tainted in the spring of my nature.
This is that here which put Davids soule so much out of frame; For from whence was this contradiction? An… whence was this contradiction so unwearied, in making head againe and againe against the checks of the spirit, in him? Whence was it that Corruptio… would not be said Nay? Whence were these sudden and unlookt for objections of the flesh? But from the remainder of old Adam in him, which like a Michel within us is either scofing … the wayes of God; or as Iobs wife, fretting and thwarting the motions of Gods spirit in us; which prevailes the more, because it is homebred in …: whereas holy motions are strangers to most of our soules. Corruption is loth that a new commer in should take so much upon him as to controule: As the Sodomites thought much that Lot being a stranger should intermeddle amongst Gen. 19. 9.them. If God once leave us as heedid Hezekiah to trie what is in us, what should he find but darknesse, rebellion, unrulinesse, doubtings, &c. in the best of us? This flesh of ours hath principles against all Gods principles, and lawes against all Gods lawes, and reasons against all GODS reasons. Oh! if wee could but one whole houre seriously think of the impure issue of our hearts, it would bring us downe upon our knees in humiliation before God. But wee can never whilest we live, so thorowly as we should, see into the depth of our deceitfull hearts, nor yet bee humbled enough for what we see; For though we speake of it and confesse it, yet we are not so sharpned against this corrupt flesh of ours, as wee should. How should it humble us, that the seeds of the vilest sinne, even of the Sinne against the holy Ghost is in us? and no thanke to us that they breake not out. It should humble us to heare of any great enormous sinne in another man, considering what our owne nature would proceed unto if it were not restrained. We may see our owne nature in them as face answering face; If God should take his Spirit from us, there is enough in us to defile a whole world; And although wee bee ingrafted into Christ, yet wee carry about us a relish of the old stocke still. David was a man of a good naturall constitution; and for grace, a man after Gods ow… heart, and had got the better of himselfe in a great measure, and had learned to overcome himselfe in matter of revenge, as in Sauls case: yet now wee see the vessell is shaken a little, and the 1 Sam. 24. 6dregs appeare that were in the bottome before. Alas, wee know not our o… hearts, till we plow with Gods hei… till his Spirit bringeth a light into our soules. It is good to consider how this impure spring breaks out diversly, in the divers conditions wee are in; there is no estate of life, nor no action wee undertake, wherein it will not put forth it selfe to defile us: It is so full of poyson that it taints whatsoever wee doe, both our natures, conditions, and actions. In a prosperous condition (like D… vid) we thinke we shall never be … Psal. 30. 6.Under the Crosse the soule is troubled … drawne to murmur, and to be sulle… and sink downe in discouragement, … be in a heat almost to blasphemy, … weary of our callings, and to qua… with every thing in our way. See … folly and fury of most men in this, for …s silly wormes to contradict the great God: And to whose perill is it? Is it not our own? Let us gather our selves, with all our wit and strength together, Alas, what can wee doe but provoke him, and get more stripes? Wee may be sure hee will deale with us, as wee deale with our children, if they be froward and unquiet for lesser matters, we will make them cry and be sullen for something: Refractory stubborne horses are the more spurred, and yet shake not off the rider.