Seven Treatises, Treatise 4 · Chapter 15
CHAP. 15. Of the declaration of the fourth rule or dutie, directing vsus in company.
NOw followeth an other dutie for the guiding of vsus in companie: that is to ſay, when by any occaſion we be in place with others, that with the ſame well ordered harts, with the which we hauehave bene taught to diſcharge other duties in the day, we carie our ſelues in companie: becauſe it is a part of our life in the paſſing of the day, very diuerſe and diſtinct from that wherein we are ſolitarie and deale with our ſelues. And although a man may be both in his calling and in companie at once; yet, as I hauehave ſhewed how eueryevery one ought to be conuerſant in his calling, without reſpect had of companie: ſo now I ſhew particularly, how companie ſhould be vſed without reſpect of mens callings. Now as the companies be of many ſorts with which we are occaſioned to be occupied, and the matters infinite which fall out to be debated of in the ſame; ſo can there not therefore any certaine and particular rules be giuen to direct our ſelues in them: but yet ſome generall obſeruations may helpe vsus much; the rather, ſeeing they to whome I direct my ſpeech and who may take profite by this, hauehave attained to the heartie deſire of keeping a good conſcience alreadie, and hauehave (for a great part of them) ſome meaſure of ſound knowledge of the will of God, which will greatly further them in the ſame.
And becauſe all companies among men are not for and concerning trafficke in earthly dealings, and matters about this preſent life, as bargainings and couenants:Company meet in diuerſe reſpects: but ſome are among neighbours and friends, partly for the increaſing of louelove, and partly to make merrie; and otherſome by other occaſions, and ſome by accident without any purpoſe thereof before: in all which kinds, we often take much hurt, and be in farre worſe caſe by them for want of good direction and heed-taking, then we were before we entred into thē: Firſt therefore I will ſpeake of thoſe companies,Eſpecially two. wherein we hauehave more libertie to benefite our ſelues one by another to God-ward, as hauing no weightie dealings to hinder vsus: and then of the other which belong to the affaires and dealings about this preſent life, how to vſe them.
In both which generally,A generall rule in both. this is a generall rule to be obſerued in all companies: That we feare daunger, and be harmeleſſe in them and without offence, leauing no ill ſauour by example behind vsus: but more particularly,Note. More particularly in ſome.the marke which we are to ayme at in all our familiar companies is this, That wee ſhould not ruſh vnaduiſedly into them as moſt men do, but determine before to do good in them to others as we be able, and to helpe them forward vntounto eternall life by all good oportunities we can; or purpoſe to take good of others, as occaſion ſhall be offered.
This rule (to make no doubt of the former, Mat. 18.7.8.) is according to the Scripture, that as we ſhould draw vnderſtanding out of them,Pro. 20.5. whom God hath plentifully enriched with it: ſo we ſhould be moued with pitie and compaſſion towards them, who are ignorant and careleſſe: or though they were neither of both, yet many wants and infirmities at leaſt they hauehave, as we our ſelues hauehave;Col. 3.12. 1. Theſ. 5.13. and therefore hauehave neede beſide the preuenting of other daungers, to be exhorted, ſtirred vp, called vponupon and inſtructed; that ſo both they and we might be edified and built vp in our moſt holy faith,Iude. 20. Prou. 10.20. Iam. 5.20. and hauehave our louelove and mutuall peace confirmed betwixt vsus: that ſo our lippes may feede many, and through Gods goodneſſe we may be meanes to turne ſome from going aſtray out of their way;1. Sam. 23.16. and we may hauehave alſo cauſe to thanke God for the like by others, and reioyce in our Chriſtian fellowſhip together. All which vſes, Ionathan and Dauid enioyed in their meetings, the one by the other.
And to what great purpoſe ſhall it be to inioyne watchfulneſſe ouer the other parts of our life, if in companie we hauehave not an eſpeciall regard of it, thereby to take all good oportunitie to make our companies profitable? For daily experience teacheth how many occaſions of offending God, and of troubling our ſelues are offered and occaſioned therein: and were we not better be abſent one from another, then in ſuch ſort meete together? Beſides, what an vnruly member the tongue is, though it be ſmall,Iam. 3.6.8. the Apoſtle declareth when he ſaith: That it ſetteth on fire the whole bodie, and is it ſelfe ſet on fire by hell. And as for the heart which ſetteth it on worke, who is ignorant how readie that is eueryevery way as the companie ſhall be, to offend, either by teachineſſe, conceipts, miſconſtruing; or by looſeneſſe, and lightneſſe, and ſuch like? And both theſe being well conſidered,The dangers that are by companie. how many companies ſhall be found, where one is not the worſe for another? where one corrupteth not the other? where there are not fallings out, quarrels and debate; or prophane and endleſſe talke of the world, ieaſting, vaine and idle ſpeech, if not filthie communication and ribaldrie; or where there is not buying and ſelling of thoſe which are abſent? And as for lying,Hoſ. 4.2. ſwearing (as Hoſea ſpeaketh) with ſuch other abhomination, it goeth through the land: and where theſe faile, what other ſpeech is in ſtead of them moſt commonly, but telling of tales, needleſſe newes, and ſuch like fooliſh and heatheniſh talke, euen in ſuch as profeſſe; which were bad enough for them which hauehave not heard of the Goſpell?
The moſt tolerable communication amongſt the reſt, which is vſed, is (as I hauehave ſaid) to be deepe in and about the world and matters of commodity; wherein, as I deny not but that there is a lawfull vſe permitted to men, ſparingly, ſoberly, and wiſely, when, and ſo farre as there is cauſe: euen ſo, as it is moſt commonly vſed, it is made well nigh as bad as the other; that it hindreth and holdeth away all other matters profitable, and drowneth the perſons ouer head and eares in it. Now ſeeing we know it is thus, ſhould not this common and daungerous corruption,They ſhould moue Chriſtians to ſeeke to preuent them. preuailing and continuing thus in moſt companies, cauſe the ſeruants of God to bewaile it, ſeeke to ſtay and to hinder it; and eueryevery one for his owne part, both Paſtor and people, as much as in him lyeth, labour earneſtly to redreſſe it?
And therefore what is more needfull about our companie, then to hauehave it euer in purpoſe to learne and get ſomewhat where we may in companie: and to helpe forward others, which we may do any good vntounto, as we are able; or to make ſome other good vſe of it? That we may hauehave teſtimonie within our ſelues,Seeing our companies ought to be other. that we had made better vſe of our companies, then the moſt ſeeke to do, or then we in times paſt had done our ſelues. And whatſoeuer exceptions may in probabilitie be brought againſt the performance of this dutie, which after (as conuenient place ſhall require) I will anſwer; yet for thoſe who reioyce in the hope of the life to come, when they meet together, it ſhould not be counted hard amongſt them, to meete with this mind: that they might make the beſt vſe of their companie in ſome good talke about ſuch things as might be profitable,Euen to do good, or take it. and for the mutuall edifying of them; prouoking one another thereby to greater louelove,Heb. 10.24. Heb. 3.13. as ſeeing and feeling cauſes therof, and what decay of it there is; for ſo hath the Lord commaunded: Exhort one another daily while it is called to day.
The Heathens prouoked themſelues mutually to louelove.And, if among heathen men, friendſhip was increaſed by aduiſing one another, and by good turnes done and receiued mutually one of another; ſhould not Chriſtians much more bind themſelues one to another, as by other pledges of louelove: ſo by this one, that there be drawing on to dutie, to grow in the knowledge of the Goſpell, and to auoide the daungers which might otherwiſe be fallen into? That ſo there might be more mindfulneſſe one of another in abſence, when there was reaped ſo great good fruite of the one by the other in preſence.
By reaſon of mens callings and diſtance of places, there is ſeldome meeting amongſt good men:Seeing Chriſtians can meete but ſeldome, they ſhould be the better for their meeting. if therefore when they meete, they ſhould not be the better one for another, they might repent for good cauſe, that they had loſt their gaine, which in that time they might hauehave had in their calling at home: beſide that, it would accuſe them after their departure, that they had neglected ſo good oportunities, which when they would, cannot be enioyed.Note. I know there is cauſe why this ſhould be looked vntounto, euen amongſt good people, ſeeing through the corruption of nature, the diuell layeth ſtops enough in the way of the beſt: whereby, although he cannot bring them to the common euill courſe of other men, to walke in exceſſe of riot as they do; yet he keepes them from the good, which might be done betwixt them: as may iuſtly be complained of, where I hauehave acquaintance.
So that Chriſtians whenſoeuer they meete, either of purpoſe and by conſent, either for neighbour-hood and (as we ſay) to make merie, or by any other prouidence of God, and yet not about trafficke or earthly dealings; this mind ought alwaies to be in them, that I hauehave mentioned: and therefore, the one to ſeeke to benefit and edifie the other by good ſpeech, waiting for,Pro. 25.11. and taking the beſt occaſions thereof and oportunities thereto; they beginning, who for their giftes are fit to bring on the reſt; not entring beyond their skill and reach, neither the one croſſing the other: but through louelove bearing one with another, and one helping another (for louelove is their greateſt vpholder:) and therefore either conferring of the things which they hauehave learned,The maner of Chriſtians meetings together. or ſtirring vp themſelues mutually to hearing of Sermons, to diligence in going forward, to inoffenſiue walking, and alſo ſinging of Pſalmes together: and if there be any occaſion of reprouing, exhorting, admoniſhing, or comforting one the other, to do it priuately if the matters be priuate, and betwixt ſo many as it concerneth, in meekneſſe of ſpirit and a thankfull receiuing of ſuch duties: and that they that offer the ſame, be readie to ſubmit themſelues in humilitie againe, to receiue the words of exhortation, as they through their weakeneſſe ſhall giuegive occaſion.
The ſimplicitie of the times hath bene ſuch,Much more this ought to be infamilies. as men hauehave met louingly together in this manner, prouoking one another thereunto: but it is iuſtled out with a proude conceipt of their owne wiſedome, who count it too baſe now to conuerſe together after ſuch a manner. But as this dutie is to be mutually imparted among neighbours: ſo much more it ought to be in vſe and force in particular families, beſides the ordinarie worſhip of God in prayer and familiar inſtruction: where, euen the ſeruant who is the meaneſt member therof, hath libertie (ſo as it be in humilitie and wiſedome) to make his complaint, as Iob permitted his ſeruants to do;Iob. 31.13. that thus peace and godly vnitie may be maintained, and all may grow vp and be edified more and more. Which duties we are not to doubt, to hauehave bene performed in the families of the noble gouernour Ioſua, and of Cornelius a valiant Captaine,Ioſ. 24.16. Act. 10. ſo farre as there was knowledge of the ſame amongſt thē, ſeeing it is ſaid: That the feare of God was in thoſe families; and ſuch liuing together in one houſe, doth giuegive good teſtimonie, that God hath a litle Church there indeed: but of this in another place.
But ſeeing there ought to be no leſſe vſe of all theſe fruites of companie betwixt the godly Paſtor and his people,Alſo betwixt the paſtor and people. then amongſt thoſe whom I hauehave mentioned: therefore let the former rules moſt eſpecially be obſerued of thē, and ſomewhat more; that is to ſay, mutuall conſent betwixt them, that their conference be of the things which are moſt fit for the eſtate of the perſons: which, by good warrant from God, (who requireth ſuch wiſedome, labour and louelove) and approued experience of men, ſhould be after this manner: That ſuch as are ignorant, and yet willing to be taught, ſhould be taught (queſtion-wiſe) the grounds of Chriſtian religion, and the way how to be ſaued, and to amend their liues. They who hauehave knowledge hereof, ſhould be laboured with, to make vſe of it: namely, to be humbled by the law, comforted by faith in Chriſt, and to be reformed in their liues. They who are ſtayed in theſe chiefe matters, ſhould be taught how to grow by the helpes, and auoide all impediments: that ſo their life may be full of fruites and comfort. And they who hauehave profited thus farre, ſhould hauehave libertie giuen them to demaund queſtions of their paſtors for their edifying, euen as to be queſtioned with by them for their inſtruction, about any particular doubts in the whole religion and true worſhip of God; and in confuting the contrarie: or about any point touching conſcience in the practiſe of dutie. I will not ſay what gaine the teacher himſelfe might reape hereby, beſide the poore people, neither are many haſtie to proue: but oh times! oh dayes! yea, oh people to be lamented: ſo happie by the long raigne of thy Prince and continued peace, as thou mighteſt hauehave bene; and ſo litle of this fruite to be enioyed, or Chriſtian dutie practiſed! The beſt thing, euen the pearle and tidings of the kingdome, to lye as wares out of requeſt, not asked after, and that through vanitie and folly! Theſe and ſuch like, (as God hath giuen wiſedome to both parties) ſhould be endeuoured after betwixt the paſtor and people, when no other neceſſarie things do hinder: which maner of meeting were (no doubt) like to be as a ſtrong band to tye them in louelove and chriſtian peace together. And this I hauehave ſeene, and that not in one place nor two: but I muſt ſay, as it bringeth a ſweet life, ſo the diuell layeth many blockes in the way to hinder it; that while they liue ſtraunger-like and conceipted one with another, or looſe, worldly and vnprofitably, they may be as others be, who hauehave no acquaintance with the Goſpell. For let men thinke and ſay what they will, there is not one halfe of the benefite that might be enioyed, no not of many profeſſors themſelues, by the preaching of it.
But to proceed: it is an harder thing for a man which feareth God, to hauehave vſe of this rule before ſet downe,Hard to make good vſe of meeting in ill companie. that is, the libertie of good talke in the companie, when he ſhall by occaſion light among ſuch as are not of his owne mind; and the worſer the perſons be, the harder. It will be counted harſh, if not ridiculous, among ſuch whoſe tongues (as they ſpeake) are their owne, to vſe them as they liſt, though the beſt way be taken for entring into it.
Here therefore, another conſideration is to be had of vsus for the making of beſt vſe of the time:How we ſhould go about it. namely, that we waite for ſome fit occaſion to be offered by ſome of the company; which (though they purpoſe no ſuch thing) will from their talke ariſe, if we attend vponupon it as Paul did before Agrippa: if not, then ſpeake we of the workes, iudgements or bleſſings of God which are among them, or freſh in memorie; by the which we may in as wiſe a manner as we can, vtter ſomewhat to the holding out of euill at the leaſt: and further it ſhal be expedient to like and commend that which is well ſpoken by them,Act. 26.28. the rather to faſten vponupon it, ſo farre as it may be done without ſuſpition of flatterie, and hurtig of them. By which manner of dealing, I hauehave oft ſeene the euill which began among men, and appeared; to be ſtaied and ſuppreſſed: and attendance giuen to better communication, being wiſely and kindly offered.
But here, louelove towards them muſt ſhew it ſelfe, which will make our labour ſeeme ſmall to vsus,Note. while we ſeeke all oportunities to winne them, and whiles we are content to forgo our owne pleaſures & liberties in other talke, that we may do good to them. To this purpoſe, it were meete that when we ſhould reſort to any ſuch company,How to ſtrengthen our ſelues to that. yea or any other, we ſhould bethinke vsus of ſomewhat before; as of ſome good queſtions among them, of whom we might learne; and ſome other good matter fit for edifying, as the company ſhould require, it being ſuch as we might do any good vntounto: eſpecially ſeeing godly communication is ſo ſeldome in place, but baniſhed vtterly from moſt companies. This may be thought of many, who go for good Chriſtians, ſomewhat too much, to hauehave ſuch regard of others: but it is (indeed) ſlouthfulneſſe and want of louelove, not to ſeeke the good of our brethren; and ſelfe-louelove, to ſeeke that which pleaſeth the fleſh, in trifling out the time, with the neglect of the good of others and our ſelues.
The which if Preachers of the Goſpell eſpecially, and other Chriſtians would conſider, I know it would be farre better with the people, and much more good done in many places, then there is now for want of it, and they themſelues ſhould hauehave no cauſe to repent it. And though there ſhould be no great likelihood of any good done thereby for the preſent time,VVe ought not to be diſcouraged from edifying talke by any occaſion. 1. Theſ. 5.11. yet ought we not for all that to be diſcouraged, foraſmuch as we are commanded to vſe edifying talke: and we ſee, that good things take not alwayes effect by and by, but afterwards in time, as the Lord ſeeth beſt, it may preuaile with them; as alſo we may ſee it appeare in many in ſome part of their life, and in others, (many times) at the day of their death: and yet if no good ſhould be done is it not to be liked that euill is remoued?
But if men which feare God, be not reſolued to ſeeke ſuch profitable and Chriſtian vſes of their meetings, in ſome ſort when they may be inioyed: I would wiſh them to thinke,Better to be at home in our calling, then abroad to do vvorſe. Eccleſ. 5.2. Mat▪ 12.36. that it ſhall be better for them to attend vponupon their familie and their affaires and charge at home, rather then frequent company much abroad, ſeeing in much common talke there is much ſinne, and for idle words men ſhall giuegive an account. I graunt that neighbourhood and louelove amongſt Chriſtian men, is nouriſhed by meetings; as, feaſtings together, and ſuch like: but theſe are not hindred but much helped, whiles our tables, after we are refreſhed and hauehave ſhewed tokens of louelove therein, be ſeaſoned with good communication, and a carefull regard had to keepe out that which is euill and needleſſe: and if there be any to whom this is vnwelcome, who perhaps will not be thus directed in the vſe of company-keeping, let him ſet downe a better, and I ſhall be well pleaſed in his refuſing of this aduice and direction, and with all my heart learne of him.
And as for them which obiect: that they hauehave not bene acquainted with ſuch communication when they meete, and therefore looke not after it; they ſhould rather bluſh at their ignorance, and want of experience in ſo manifeſt a duty: for our talke ſhould be to the edifying of the company:Col. 4.6. Ioſ. 1.8. 1. Tim. 4.12. and all ought to follow their teachers in it, who are commaunded to be examples to their flocke in the ſame: Be an example in communication. Neither let any pleaſe themſelues in this, that they will not looke after ſuch preciſeneſſe: It were more to be commended and better to be liked, if they had ſayd, They were ſory, that they had not their benefit in ſuch a ſweete libertie,A vviſe and ſauorie ſpeech of a learned man. as God hath vouchſafed vsus. It was the ſpeech of a learned godly man: I neuer depart out of company, where I hauehave wholly omitted good ſpeech hauing oportunitie, but I am checked and accuſed.
But to go a litle further: if it ſhall fall out that we be to our griefe in company, as beſet with ſcornefull, prophane and brutiſh perſons, ſo that we ſee no oportunitie nor place for any good, it ſhall be our wiſedome to keepe our ſelues from hauing any fellowſhip with their vnfruitfull workes of darkneſſe; vſing Sampſons wiſedome (when we feare any ſuch thing) by ſauory ridles or ſuch like, to breake them off, and to giuegive apparant tokens of our miſlike if we can go no further to the ſuppreſſing of it; fearing otherwiſe, leſt while we are ſilent whē God ſhould be honored, the ſtones in the ſtreet ſhould ſpeake: yet let all be done wiſely and peaceably, and regard had how and when to ſpeake.Shunne ill company. And this is to be done vntill we can conueniently depart from them, and be carefull after, that we fall not into the like company againe: For ſo doth Salomon counſell,Pro. 14.7. Prou. 14.7. Depart from the company of a fooliſh man, when thou ſeeſt not in him the words of wiſedome. I ſpeake of ſuch company as one ſpake of Rome: If he go thither, at the firſt time he ſhall ſee an ill man: if he like ſo well that he go the ſecond time, he ſhall know him: but if he will needs go the third time, he will ſurely bring him home with him.
But in other companies we muſt be carefull (as hath bene ſhewed vsus) that we baniſh euill, and indeuor after ſome good, both for our owne benefit & other mens;Col. 4.6. as it ſhall be the diſcharge of a good part of our duty (who are commanded that our talke ſhould be gratious and poudred with ſalt:) ſo it promiſeth great bleſſing to all ſuch as are carefull in looking to the ſame; as they hauehave ſeene,They vvho hauehave vſed good ſpeech longeſt, can beſt report the fruite of it: both to young beginners in the Goſpell: and alſo to ſtronger Chriſtians. who for theſe twentie or thirty yeares hauehave had experience, that it hath profited them greatly who hauehave carefully vſed it, in compariſon of thoſe who hauehave not regarded it: ſo that not onelyonly the firſt beginners in the practiſe of Chriſtianity, hauehave bene well ſtirred vp to care and conſcience, and hauehave learned many good points of Chriſtian religion and duty by it; but euen they of longer continuance in Chriſts ſchoole, hauehave bene much comforted and perfited by vſing all oportunities this way for their edifying.
It may be a ſhame for vsus in the going about a duty which hath great promiſe of bleſſing, to be ſlacker then Heretickes, Papiſts and Sectaries are in that which is but the deuice of their owne braine; who by oft talking of their religion and opinions, hauehave drawne many into their errors.
As for thoſe who obiect againſt it, that it is more then needeth, and they ſee not that men are tied to it, and they meete to be mery: I ſay to the firſt part of the obiection, that they who like it not in friendly and familiar meetings, but thinke it more then needeth, muſt needs looke litle after it amongſt ſtrangers and ill-willers to goodneſſe; where it will be ſo much the more vnwillingly gone about, becauſe they know not how the company is affected: and ſo amongſt ſuch as bring this obiection there ſhall neuer be time for it, nor vſe of it;Epheſ. 4.29. but the words of the Apoſtle ſhall lye dead: That our communication ſhould miniſter grace to the hearers. For anſwering the ſecond part of their obiection, I hauehave proued as much out of other Scripture: ſo that none ſhould account that an imbondaging and tying of him which God requireth, whoſe ſeruice is perfit freedome; and let them looke who hauehave a commandement from God to vſe it, what defence they hauehave by the corrupt example of men which neglect it, for their ſo doing.
Col. 3.16. Epheſ. 5.4. Iam. 5 13.For the laſt point of their comming to be merrie, I aunſwer: that if they be merrie in honeſt and ſeemely mirth, they will not be againſt good communication, which ſeaſoneth their lawfull mirth that it may not paſſe bounds:Note. and let them ſuſpect, that it ſauoureth too much of the fleſh, which they account honeſt mirth, if for it, the other become irkeſome vntounto them: neither do I ſeeke to depriue men of the one, neither aboue that they are able, to tye them onelyonly or alwaies to the other; but to indeuour to make beſt vſe of our companie, becauſe it is with vsus in this one dutie as in the reſt, that he which commeth moſt forward in it, is yet much behind:Note. and yet this I would ſay further of their merrie talke; though communication of things lawfull and indifferent, be to be allowed, yet I would (if I might) chooſe, (when there is libertie for both alike) alwaies to preferre that which is holy, and to edifying.
And (to conclude) ſo I would be taken, in that which I hauehave vttered concerning this matter, that how meete and profitable ſoeuer I affirme this communing of good things in companie to be; yet if we light vponupon ſuch, who hauehave ſome liking of the truth, and yet hauehave not felt ſuch ſauour in it, nor found ſuch fruite by it, but that they count it an ouer-charging, and too ſore a preſſing of them, to be much holden to it; I ſay, we lighting vponupon ſuch,A caution about godly talke vſing. ought to hauehave regard of their weakeneſſe, and to bring them on as we ſee they may in beſt ſort be preuailed with: and let this be well regarded of vsus, for it is farre from me to beate any ſuch thing into their heades, as to make them thinke, that our religion alloweth no talke but of the Scriptures; when both it alloweth, and we deny not, but (any thing which hath bene ſaid notwithſtanding) that the learned may hauehave their talke of learning, the magiſtrates of gouerning, and the common people of their ſciences and trades, how they may come to more skill and attaine to further perfection in them, or of any other lawfull things to a good end.
But this is to be obſerued generally, that in all theſe kinds of meetings, whatſoeuer the perſons be, we leaue no ill example among them, which as an ill ſauour, may caſt ſuch a rancke ſmell in the companie that it procure as well ſhame and ſorrow to vsus, as hurt and offence to thoſe which are preſent, and reproach to their profeſſion, as alſo an imboldning of the bad to be worſe. And thus much for the vſe of our company in the which we hauehave no neceſſary dealings about the things of this life.Of reproofe or admonition. To the which I will adde the duties of our reprouing, exhorting and comforting one another, ſeeing theſe are religious actions practiſed in company, though there be but two that meete together. And firſt for reprouing or admoniſhing of a Chriſtian, who hath giuen offence and iuſtly deſerueth to be rebuked: we muſt be ſure that the fault is committed by him, and not charge him vponupon bare report,Prou. 18.13. Ioſ. 22.12. much leſſe for that which is no ſinne (though in our conceipt it be ſo) but a thing indifferent:How it ſhould be. and we muſt beware that we be not iuſtly to be charged with the like offence; for then we take away the grace and force of our reprehenſion,Math. 7.9. vnleſſe it be knowne that we do warily decline ſuch ſinnes our ſelues: and with a mind to reclaime him and turne him from his ſinne in louelove though it pricke, ſeeing the woūds of a louer are faithfull,Prou. 27.6. Gal. 6.1. & he that telleth the truth ſhall find more fauour at length then he that flattereth: and for a priuate offence, priuately; though if it be open and well knowne, it maybe in the cō pany of many and more ſharply, as the offence is greater and the perſon,1. Tim. 5.20. one that may be more offēſiue, as a miniſter; alwaies laboring that it may appeare, that God findeth the fault and reproueth, and not we who are but his inſtruments to do his wil. But this age hath moſt boldly,It is litle regarded. yea ſcornfully diſpiſed this ordinance of God: which troubleth the conſciences of many good Chriſtians;Leuit. 19.17. ſo that when God commandeth it ſo ſtraightly on the one ſide, and men reiect it ſo inſolently and reſolutely (that I ſpeake no further) on the other ſide, they cannot tell what to do betwixt both.
Of exhorting. Act. 11.23.And as for exhortation, which is a ſtirring vp of them to proceed in the wayes of the Lord, as Barnabas did the people in the booke of the Acts; and as Paule doth oft require it to be vſed among Chriſtians: ſo doubtleſſe he that laboureth in ſuch a worke,1. Theſ. 5.11. Heb. 3.13. doth diſcharge an excellent duty. But he muſt be a man ſo free from worldly incumbrances, and ſo looking to the neceſſitie of the performing of it, (through the coldneſſe that is in men) and to the good that commeth by it, that he may ſtirre vp this gift in himſelfe, whoſoeeuer he be, that hath any ſuch; and not be diſmayed, if ſucceſſe follow not by and by, as he would wiſh. I hauehave ſeene much good done by it, euen in the mouth of priuate men. And if it were kindly vſed of Chriſtians, as they ſhall hauehave occaſion, and much more by the Miniſter, there would much good bleſſing followe it: but if men take not heed, the Diuell doth ſo craftily hinder it, that it will take ſmall effect, but rather be fruſtrate and broken off. That will be, if he who ſhould be occupied in this ſeruice to God, be a looſe liuer himſelfe, he ſhall do no good by it to others; and he ſhall ſoone waxe weary of it: and eſpecially if he be not very watchfull in his earthly dealings, that there grow no conceipts, ſtraungeneſſe and other diſlikes by meanes of them, betwixt him and others: for they will ſoone hinder it.
But here I cannot omit to bewaile the vnſeaſonable ſpeeches of ſome, as alſo vncharitable, and diſcouraging: that (as though they ſaw no vſe of theſe duties, namely of exhorting, admoniſhing and reprouing; nor of the Apoſtles commanding, that they ſhould be continued) aske: What Papiſts any conuert from their poperie hereby: whereas it is well knowne, that the common ſort of them admit ſmall talke about religion, their common anſwer being this, They meane not to reaſon; except the learneder ſort of them, who of a wilfull and malitious mind againſt religion and Prince maintaining it, do of ſet purpoſe abuſe their gifts to the peruerting of the truth. But God be thanked, this charge of exhorting and rebuking one another, was giuen before poperie was hatched: and there ſhould hauehave bene need inough of it, though it had neuer bene bred, and ſo it ſhall be a Chriſtian duty much pleaſing the Lord (without any regard of them who ſcorne it) whereſoeuer it be wiſely and religiouſly vſed: and (without controuerſie) much bleſſed; this being regarded of them towards whom it is vſed,Heb. 13.22. which is written: I beſeech you brethren ſuffer the words of exhortation.
For conſolation alſo and miniſtring comfort, it is another worthy duty: when in mens bodily ſickneſſe or trouble of mind,Of comforting the heauy-harted. or otherwiſe in their wants, we do eaſe their ſorowfull hearts, with ſweet words from God, wiſely and fitly applied to them, and comfort them as he hath comforted vsus. When a penitent ſoule counting that his greateſt miſerie, which is a token of his greateſt happineſſe, (I meane the feeling of the burthen of his ſinne, deſiring nothing more then to be eaſed) ſhall be brought to be perſwaded ſo, and that his ſinne is forgiuen him,Act. 8.39. what can be like comfortable to him? For he ſhall be one of a thouſand to him that can do it, as we reade in Iob. Iob. 33.23.So when another in caſe of bodily diſtreſſe or neceſſitie, ſhall in like ſort be ſpoken to, as the woman of Canaan was by our Sauiour, ſaying:Matth. 15·28. O woman great is thy faith, be it to thee as thou deſireſt; what a reuiuing of her was it (thinke we?) Not much vnlike to the dealing of Boaz with Ruth, a deſolate and poore widow, and a ſtrannger; which cauſed her to breake foorth and ſay: O my Lord, thou haſt comforted me, and ſpoken to the heart of thine handmaid.Ruth 2.13. Philem. 7. For if the diſeaſed perſon be much cheared by Phiſicke bodily, what maruell though ſpirituall comfort worke vponupon the ſoule mightily? It ſhould be in requeſt therefore, aboue all other priuate matters, euen as it is the waightieſt:VponUpon the ſoule. that there ſhould be not Miniſters onelyonly, (who yet chiefly ſhould do it) but euen priuate Chriſtians alſo, who ſhould be able in ſome meaſure to comfort one another in their heauineſſe: but this alſo is to ſeeke with men. Not one of many can ſpeake to the purpoſe to a ſicke bodie to comfort him, but vnſauorily, that which may more increaſe his heauineſſe, by telling him they are much grieued for his ſickneſſe, &c. when (who ſeeth not?) they had need of other comfort.
As for other companies, they are of another kind: ſome about honeſt refreſhings, ſome about bargainings, couenants-making, & other agreements; & ſome about ſuites, debates, controuerſies, and ſuch like: and although there cannot certaine rules be giuen concerning them all;Ciuill company how to be vſed. yet they muſt be all gone about and done in ſuch wiſe, as that they may be ſutable and correſpondent to the other parts of Chriſtian life, that there be no breaking off our comfort with God by looſe and careleſſe doing of them, but that we hold the vnitie of the Spirit in the bond of peace: neither that there be a following of the faſhion of other men in them, but that we being armed with ſuch grace as is fit for thoſe occaſions, may ſhew, that we are attired with the furniture of Chriſtians, which wee ought continually (as with ſeemely apparell) to be cloathed with, to make our whole conuerſation comely.
For example: to ſpeake of chriſtian recareation,How recreatiō Rules. wherein a part of companie keeping is taken vp for the moſt part,The firſt. which is an exerciſe not ſeparate frō godlines, of ſome thing that is indifferent for the neceſſary refreſhing of the mind or bodie, or both: who doubteth, but that God hath taught his ſeruants how to vſe it; although others will neuer come vnderunder any rule or gouernment? For they who will not be ſubiect in other parts of their liues to Gods commaundements, much leſſe will be controlled or directed by them in this: wherein they imagine they hauehave free libertie to vſe it as they liſt. Such therefore as do claime the benefite of it, muſt be as carefull to vſe it aright as to looke to enioy the libertie of it, not as they who if they once get this by the end, That it is lawfull, neuer enquire further of the lawfull manner of vſing it. The time when it may be vſed, is not when we liſt,2 but when we hauehave neede of it through wearineſſe and other vnfitneſſe: for to that end the Lord appointed ſuch intermiſſion for vsus. And though ſome deſire it not greatly to driue away from themſelues annoyances of mind or bodie thereby; yet to otherſome it is not to be denyed in either of both thoſe reſpectes, they being carefull to vſe it; as God doth allow: and in going about it, becauſe through the corruption of our hearts we become eaſily vnſetled by ſuch actions,3 it ſhall be very expedient to ſtrengthen our ſelues by ſome looking vp to God in our vſe thereof, that we may take no hurt to our ſoules whiles we refreſh our ſelues; ſeeing all the creatures of God are good, to the faithfull vſer of them, if they be receiued with prayer and thankes by which they are ſanctified: and he who counteth it too harſh and ſad a matter to deſire grace of God to vſe it aright, may well feare that hee ſhall offend in it.
4For the kind of our recreation: it muſt be honeſt and of good report, that ſo we giuegive occaſion to none by our liberties taking ſo vnſeaſonably, to embolden others againſt conſcience.5 The manner ſhould be in moderation of our affections in it;Command. 10. as anger, choler, contention, ſtrife, coueting that which is our neighbours, and ſuch like: and in moderation of the time, how long we continue it, remembring that it is a refreſhing tanquam ſomno cateriſque quietibus, as he ſaith; that is, as a man that is wearied, doth deſire reſt, and to giuegive himſelfe to ſleepe that he may be refreſhed by it: and it muſt not be an ouerlaying of our ſelues, or a toyle vntounto vsus, or wearying of vsus, ſo that neceſſarie duties of the day be omitted by it;6 neither get ſuch an intereſt in vsus, that we cannot leaue it when we ſhould.
7Our companions therein ſhould not be men of euill name for corrupt life and notorious offences, but ſuch as be readie to heare of it if they be ouerſhot. Our end: to be the fitter to the duties of our calling, not couetous cōtrarie to the tenth commaundement, nor ſeeke our gaine thereby, nor to increaſe our liking of ſuch paſſing of our time, and ſo to draw vsus after the ſame oftener then might ſeeme expedient for vsus, or from one kind to another, ſpending out our precious time therein as though we were to yeeld no account of it;Epheſ. 5.16. that we may not be ſeruants to our luſtes. And as this may ſomewhat direct vsus in companies where we meete to refreſh our ſelues; ſo he that is not willing thus to vſe recreation, ſhall wiſh in time, that he had neuer bene acquainted with it:Pro. 21.17. beſides that, it is not ſaid in vaine: He that loueth paſtime ſhall be a poore man.
Now for other companies in which we meet about our earthly affaires, God hath taught vsus vertues fit to vphold and carrie vsus through them, as all other parts of our life, in peace and in good ſort: whereas without them, full daungerous hurts might eaſily take hold of vsus therein, by ſuch meanes as we litle ſuſpect. Therefore to ſpeake particularly of our bargainings and other couenants,In bargaining, how we ſhould behaue our ſelues. they ought to be without hollowneſſe, deceipt, vndermining and ſuch other vnconſcionable dealing; that ſo we may be ſimple and our meaning good,Note. our words plaine, our agreements reaſonable, our promiſes kept, our couenants performed, except conſent on both ſides to the contrarie: but where the aduauntage ſhould fal out againſt the poore and needy, there merciemercy and compaſſion would be required.
Jn ſuites and controuerſies, how.In ſuites and controuerſies great charitie is to be ſhewed; and in this to be ſhewed, namely; that although no compromiſe can be made (which if it may with any indifferencie be obtained, is in no wiſe to be neglected:) yet that the queſtion or caſe betwixt vsus about words, goods, or other matters, may not turne vsus from the purſuing of the thing to the perſons, nor to breake off our Chriſtian louelove, howſoeuer we receiue hatred and deadly malice for our good meaning.
Strong patience alſo muſt be laboured for to beare the coſt, the trauell, the toile and tariance, with all other griefes and moleſtations, which fall out thereby, or may poſſibly be offered vsus, vntill we ſee the end and iſſue. But eſpecially if it ſhould ſtand with the aunſwering for our ſelues in accuſations of any crime before the magiſtrate: with this patience,Act. 5. would wiſedome and chriſtian courage with modeſtie and meekeneſſe be neceſſarily adioyned. And by the helpe of theſe the Lord hath brought to paſſe, that the frowning lookes, and cruell faces of tyrants and perſecutors hauehave not bene feared, their bloudie threats hauehave not daunted the people of God, much leſſe hauehave they turned them from their moſt holy faith and profeſſion; but they themſelues who hauehave vexed them, hauehave appeared to be more tormented in their conſcience at the beholding of the graces of God in them, then they who hauehave bene bodily tormented by them. And this for the vſe of companie be ſaid, as in ſuch breuitie I could: which aduice and direction the reader muſt receiue in all companies one day as another to guide him therein.
And to ſhut vp this fourth dutie, let this be added: that not onelyonly in our companies we be harmeleſſe and giuegive good example; but eueryevery way and in all our dealings with men, whether they be priuie to it or no, innocent and iuſt to all, and mercifull and pitifull to the needie and oppreſſed:Note. and the rather, for that we are ſo naturally giuen to regard and ſeeke our owne profite, whoſoeuer ſuſtaine loſſe thereby; and therefore to be alwaies thus reſolued, that rather then any ſhould hauehave iuſt occaſion to complaine of our iniurie or hard dealing, we are readie to depart from ſome peece of our owne right, as Abraham did to Lot. And becauſe it is moſt mens calling,Gen. 13.8. & 9. eueryevery of the ſixe daies to hauehave dealings with ſome other, therefore let the true Chriſtian arme himſelfe with this mind, euen thus to liue and conuerſe with them in all that they hauehave to do with them: for many of them are ſo deceitfull and vnconſcionable, that they will abuſe the moſt innocent and honeſt Chriſtians with ſlaunderous tongues and falſe reports, if they cannot get what they would at their hands. Now what would ſuch do, if they had any iuſt cauſe giuen them to open their mouthes? But beſides, euen honeſter men, if they deale together, either for that they do not plainely ſet downe their minds; or if they do, yet one ſuſtaineth the loſſe in the end, when both looke to gaine: I cannot tel how it commeth to paſſe, that there ariſe hard thoughts betwixt them, that louelove is broken off, or ſo cooled, as the diuell hath apparantly ſhewed, that the perſons wanted care and wiſedome: therefore ſuch ſhould ſo looke to their actions,2. Theſ. 1.7. that they may hauehave no ſuch accuſations come againſt them at euen or in the iudgement day, nor prouoke the Lord to meaſure out to them after the ſame manner againe, which they may be moſt ſure of.
Yet one thing remaineth, which moſt fitly is here to be placed:Obſerue and reuerence the graces of God in others. that ſeing we ſhall in hauing companie, fellowſhip and affaires with ſundrie men, behold many gracious examples among the reſt, as worthie patternes of godlineſſe, that we be diligent to marke and learne,Note. and follow whatſoeuer in thē may better adorne & furniſh vsus, as the Apoſtle taught: Be ye followers of me, 1. Cor. 11.1. Mat. 11.29.as I follow Chriſt: & that we carie not that high opinion of our ſelues, as that we ſtand in no ſuch neede of others becauſe we hauehave ſomewhat more then the common ſort of the world, but in humilitie and meekeneſſe make that reuerent account of Gods gifts in others,Iam. 4.2. rather then enuie and diſdaine them, that we may with all ſpeed ſeeke to enioy the ſame our ſelues: and much more to follow the good examples of ſuch as are commended to vsus in the Scriptures; as Abraham the father of the beleeuers in faith, Moſes in meekneſſe, Ioſeph in chaſtitie, Dauid in the louelove of Gods worſhips and holy exerciſes, Caleb in conſtant following of the Lord to the end, &c. This the holy Ghoſt exhorteth vsus to, in the Epiſtle to the Hebrewes: Follow the faith and conuerſation of ſuch, and conſider what hath bene the end thereof. A neceſſarie watchword for numbers in this age, ſo degenerated from the godly courſe of the reuerend Auncient that were before them, that they hauehave not onelyonly not knowne the God of their fathers, but alſo diſgraced that zealous ſeruing of God which they vſed.
The examples of ſuch therefore as I ſet downe before, ſhall be no ſmall helpe, being oft before vsus, to chaſe away from vsus friuolous and hurtfull fantaſies, faintneſſe, diſcouragements and wearineſſe of well doing; and cauſe that the multitude of contrarie examples ſhall not hurt vsus by their pride, boldneſſe and licentious life; and to ioyne vsus faſt to Ieſus Chriſt though not now ſeene of vsus; and that we may hold the profeſſion of our faith with ioy vntounto our end.