A Treatise of Love, Chapter 6
CHAP. 6. Properties of true LoueLove.
NOw yet for our further direction in this point of LoueLove, I will set downe some such Properties, as the Scripture requireth in it; as that it must be mutuall, common, sincere without feigning, feruent, pure, constant; all gathered out of 1 Pet. 1. 22.
First, it must be mutuall, it must1. come from one to another mutually, and be at eueryevery hand: as God commands others to louelove vsus, so vsus to louelove others. so that none is free from this duty.
Many will looke for a great deale of LoueLove from others, that care not how little they shew themselues; would be visited, but care not to visit others: would hauehave their owne vertues commended, will not do so by others; hauehave their infirmities couered, but will not doe so: would not be prouoked, yet will prouoke: would not that others should be quickly angry with them, yet they will with others.
Alas, this is great weaknesse: for its a more blessed thing to giuegive, than to receiue, Acts 20. 35. And wee should rather striue to goe before, and set others in our debt by louelove, and be on the forehand.
A good minde rather remembers the debt that is going from him, than that which is comming to him. This oft comes of pride in some men, to looke for much of others, and performe little themselues.
The husband oft lookes his wife should walke at an inch with him, though hee will breake ells out of square. So sometimes it fals out▪ with the wife towards her husband, looke for much, and performe little. This is no equity: we must doe, as wee would bee done to.
Its more dangerous for vsus to neglect our duty to others, than that they neglect to vsus; for this is but a small want, but the other makes vsus liable to Gods iudgement. Let vsus therefore striue who shall doe most duety each to other; husband to wife, neighbour to neighbour: and not the contrary.
2. It must be common: One another. Its in the plurall number, and shewes a communitie; that we must not love one, or two, or a few, but all, and especially all that feare God. Love communicates it selfe, and is not engrossed to a few. Many can be content to love one, or two, or a few as they list, but they set light by the rest, yea oppose and iustle with some, and liue vnkindly with them. This is no true love, neither ought it so to be. Yea, wee must louelove the meanest that feare God, and not neglect them. The meanest member of the body is regarded by the greatest. Though they bee of low degree in the world, yet seeing they be members of that glorious body of Iesus Christ, wee must not hauehave the faith of him in respect of persons, Iames 2. 1. Seeing God hath vouchsafed to giuegive his Sonne for them to redeeme them, his Spirit to sanctifie them, and hath prepared a place in heauen for them, we must not despise them. Nay, these wee ought the rather to encourage, and to hearten on in well-doing, seeing so few of that sort hauehave any good in them, and they hauehave many discouragements. They will beare their pouerty the better. Its a great cheering to them, when they see themselues regarded. And nothing is more comely, than to see wealthy ones to be affable, and to speak kindly, and to the hearts of the poore that be godly; as Boaz did to Ruth. For, beeing fellow-brethren and fellow-members as deare to God as they, should a little wealth lift vp the minde? The Lord is the Maker of them both, Prou. 22. 2. Iames 2▪ 5. Hath not God chosen the poore of this world, that they should be rich in Faith, and heires of the Kingdome? &c.
3 It must be without seigning, Rom. 12. 9. 1 Iohn 3. 18. Not in word, or in tongue, but in deede, and in truth. God hates dissembling in eueryevery thing: whether in louelove pretended to himselfe, when is no such thing, or towards our neighbour, in any of our dealings with him. God loues simplicity and plaine dealing; as in Iacob and Nathaneel.
If LoueLove, which is the maine vertue, be counterfeit, what shall become of all the dueties that proceed from thence? Gods louelove to vsus was not feigned and in shew, but sincere and reall, when he gaue vsus his beloued Sonne to the death for our sins.
Here two sorts of persons are iustly to bee taxed: 1. Such as pretend to louelove, when yet they hate. 2. Such as make shew to louelove, and do not. For the first, Psal. 28. 3. Psal. 12. 2. & 55. 21. & 62. 4. Pro. 26. 24. reade these places. Thus did Ioab to Amasa, 2 Sam. 20. Iudas to our Sauiour Christ, Saul to Dauid, 1 Sam. 18. 17. 25. giuing him his Daughter to bee a snare to him, requiring no ioynture, but an hundred fore-skins of the Philistims, hoping thereby hee might fall into their hands. which persons carry a marke of Reprobation about them. Psalme 28. 3. Workers of iniquitie, to whom belongs some notable iudgement of God. They be like the Diuell, who pretended louelove to Eue, when hee sought her ruine, and of all her posteritie. So to our Sauiour Christ, Mat. 4. All these will I giuegive thee &c.
As these bee more dangerous to those they hate, than if they did openly shew it (for then they could better beware of them: One Enemie within the Wals is worse than ten without) so are they worse for themselues: For, any vice masked and cloked vnderunder a shew of vertue, is double iniquitie. And as our Sauiour Christ said to the Scribes and Pharisees, Mat. 23. 14. Ye shall receiue greater damnation; so shall these.
Yet how common is this? many will speake faire as may bee to their Neighbour, when yet they intend mischiefe against them, or as soon as their back is turned, mocke or iest at them, speake euill, or raise vp some slander against them, or doe them what hurt they can. If we know any hauehave dealt so with vsus, let vsus take heed that we neuer do so by them or any other, but loathe it, as hatefull and diuellish.
For the second sort: There be that pretend they louelove, but alas! try, and you shall finde no such thing. A deale of Court-holy▪ water, congeyes, and crouchings, an handfull of true hearty louelove, is worth ten armefuls of their congeyes downe to the ancles: they will salute Good morrow, and Good night, when yet they mind, nor heartily wish no good. These are clouds without raine, plashes that deceiue when most need is; vessels with false bottomes, that hauehave a little water on the top, but empty below: Snch as will earnestly inuite, when they know one cannot or will not stay, proffer kindnesse, when they thinke it will not bee needed; but if it happen to be accepted, and made vse of at any time, then they eyther hauehave some shifts to auoide it, or else doe it with much vnwillingnesse, and grumbling behinde the parties backe.
So those that pretend they louelove the poore, yet come to them in their behalfe, and nothing shall you get, but what they are forced vntounto, and hardly that.
So many good Ministers and Christians hauehave found small kindnesse in their need, at the hands of such, as yet in their prosperity hauehave profest good will, and made great shewes of louelove to them; they might hauehave done full ill for all these: what louelove call you this? Its like Faith without workes, which God will condemne. So to speake well of such and such men, to pity them, and say they are worthy men, and pity they should want, yet neuer doe any thing for them. If God should feed them thus, they would soon complaine.
4 The fourth thing required in LoueLove, is, that it must be pure. It must come from a pure heart▪ as St. Peter speakes, and be agreeable to the rule of the pure Word of God.
Pure LoueLove is seene in diuers things: First, it loues for some vertuous and good actions: therefore the louelove of the Adulterer and his Mate, of Drunkards and Theeues, that be sworne brothers, is no louelove.
To louelove a man, because he can dice well, or sweare deeply, drink others vnderunder boord, or mocke and deride wittily, or raile bitterly against the seruants of God; this is cursed louelove: for true LoueLove reioyceth not in iniquity; as we hauehave heard. A worse note cannot be, than when one sees one fight cunningly or desperately against God, to louelove him the better. These be no better than Rebels, and Conspirators against the Maiesty of God.
2 Pure LoueLove is that, which is grounded on Grace and Religion, and on no transitory thing; or in those that hauehave no grace, we louelove them for conscience of Gods commandement, and because of that part of the Image of God that is in them: which condemnes the carnall louelove of the most, which louelove onelyonly for worldly respects; for strength, beauty, or any inward gift of the minde not sanctified: as wit, skill in Arts, musicke, play. These are worthy louelove, but to louelove onelyonly for these, is not true and pure LoueLove; for thus loued the Heathen: worldly mens louelove is for such respects, and no other. Yea, euen Gods seruants faile this way sometimes, as old Isaac, that loued Esau for his skill in hunting, Dauid loued Absolon for his beauty; and so doth many a man his wife, which doe ill to build louelove on so false grounds: for when these faile, oft the louelove goes after.
3 Pure LoueLove is in respect of the party himselfe, whom wee louelove, and for no respect to our selues, or any commodity of ours. And such was Gods louelove, in giuing his Sonne to vsus miserable sinners; which condemnes the world, who onelyonly louelove for selferespects: As hee is my Vncle, Friend, loues mee, or hath done this or that for mee, or may doe mee a pleasure; therefore I will make much of him, or for feare he may doe me a shrewd turne: This, if it bee shaken out of the clouts, will be found but selfeloue; wee hauehave a respect and aime onelyonly to, and at our selues, Mat. 5. 46. Many a man shewes kindnesse, or doth good to some onelyonly, to purchase credit.
The husband loues his wife, because she pleaseth him well, is faire, a good housewife, and for nothing else: this is selfe-louelove. All the Papists charitable deeds were all selfe-louelove; for they were done with opinion of merit, and so they loued themselues rather than the parties they gaue vntounto. So is all the louelove of worldlings; examine it, and you shall mostwhat finde it to bee selfe-louelove; they hauehave some reach at themselues.
4 Pure LoueLove is, when wee so louelove a man, as we louelove his soule; and therefore will suffer no euill to rest vponupon him, but hate the sin in him whom hee loues most dearly, and will counsell him to all good, and from all euill. Therfore so to louelove our neighbour, as not to tell him of his fault for angring or disquieting of him (if he be such as wee may speake to) is hatred rather than louelove, as God saith, Leuiticus 19. 17.
So Parents, that louelove their children so well, as they will not nurture, rebuke, correct them; they hate them▪ they slay them in following their wayes: Hee that spares the rod, hates his childe, Prou. 13. 24. Its as one should bee so tender ouer a childe, as not to suffer the winde to blow vponupon it; and therefore hold the hand before the mouth of it, but hold so hard, as hee strangles the childe: As the Ape that hugs her young so hard, as she kils it.
Againe, friends perswade a man to doe this or that for preferment, that he cannot doe with good conscience: Oh they louelove him, they would faine see him preferred. Wofull louelove to the bodie, to destroy the soule.
A neighbour hath a childe, or cattell strangely handled; one comes in of louelove, and perswades him to send to such a cunning man, or good Witch (the worst instrument of the Deuill of all) for helpe. Is hee a friend, that will doe that that shall vantage one a penny, and ere the yeare come about, hinder him a hundred pound?
So when a good Christian is ready to suffer for a good conference, and a friend comes and sayes, Oh I pray cast not away yourselfe, I wish you well; be not too nice, doe as others doe. Cruell louelove is this, to perswade them to saue their bodies, by doing that, whereby they should cast away soule and body for euer: As Peter aduiseth our Sauiour Christ not to goe vp to Ierusalem to suffer, but to fauour himselfe, Matth. 16. 22. which was to disswade him from doing his Fathers will, and from that, wherby Peter himselfe and all mankinde should bee saued, and without which they had all beene lost for euer: what louelove therefore was this? you may see by the thankes our Sauiour Christ gaue him, who bade him get him behinde him Sathan; for hee sauoured not of the things of God, but of the world.
5 Next, our LoueLove must be feruent. We must louelove earnestly, and hotly as wee can; and secondly, constantly: for in these two things stands feruency. First, for the earnestnesse of our LoueLove; as wee must stretch it to as many persons, and in as many dueties as wee can, to soule, to body, in giuing, forgiuing, &c. as wee hauehave heard before; so in these we must not be sparing, but in giuing, liberall; for he that sowes sparingly, shall reape sparingly, 2 Cor. 9. 6. So in forgiuing plenteous, to seuenty times, &c. For thus is God to vsus, in giuing for soule, body, goods, name, to our selues and ours, day & night, neuer weary in doing vsus good, neuer vpbraiding. In forgiuing, how mercifull, in passing by our manifold offences, and that daily? And the rather, because a little louelove is soon quencht; therefore wee must so louelove, as though wee meete with many temptations from the parties themselues, or from others, that yet wee suffer it not to be extinguished. And wee must louelove feruently; not doing these dueties when we can well, and hauehave nothing to let vsus, but forget our pleasure, profit, ease, &c. to doe our neighbour good. LoueLove seeks not her owne things. It is laborsous, 1 Cor. 13. as in the Samariran, who set vp the wounded man vponupon his horse, and went on foote himselfe, and left all the money in his purse for his charges, and promised to send more. And as hee that rose out of his warme bed, to lend his neighbour loaues. As they that gaue out of their maine stocke, or sold their lands to relieue the necessities of the Church, Acts 2. 44. Aboue and beyond all comparison ten thousand times, was the feruency of the louelove of God the Father, when hee parted with his owne and onelyonly Sonne out of his bosome, for our Redemption, and of our Lord Iesus Christ, who forsooke the glory of Heauen, and laide downe his life here vponupon earth, to saue vsus miserable siuners, and his vtter enemies.
Oh how doth this condemne the cold, yea, frozen louelove of the world? And where there is a sparke, yet it is so weake, as the least drop of water will quench it. We will not speake a word in defence of neuer so good a man or cause, if it will hinder our selues neuer so little, or procure vsus but a frowne.
How worthily on the contrary did Ionathan, who spake for Dauid to Saul his father, to the danger of his owne life, 1 Sam. 20. 33. So Ester endangered her life to speake for the Church; I will goe to the King, If I perish, I perish, Hest. 4. 16.
6 Lastly, our LoueLove must bee constant; not easily broken off, but continuing to the end, Heb. 13. 1. Ephes. 4. 3.
Thus is Gods louelove to his, Iohn 13. 1. which wee must imitate. The Deuill will seeke to breake it off, and our selues (being men) are fraile, and many occasions will be ready to be offered; therfore wee had need with all diligence, to striue to hold and maintaine it aliue in our hearts.
How doth this rebuke the inconstancy of many men, that are wonne (as we say) with an apple, and lost with a nut; that will vponupon eueryevery sleight occasion breake friendship? If God should so deale with vsus, what should become of vsus? But his louelove is constant to his, notwithstanding their daily prouocations.
Yea, hee loues them in aduersity, and their low estate; yea, best then, and is nearest them with his comforts. So it ought to bee with vsus; for then our neighbour hath most need of vsus, and then our louelove will shew it selfe to bee most free, and not mercenary. But how contrary is this eueryevery where? While they be in prosperity, they hauehave many friends, which in their affliction goe aloofe off; as Dauid oft complaineth, and Iob, to whose very wife his breath was strange in the day of his affliction. Ruth did quite contrary, & very commendably, who vowed to her mother-in-law Naomi, that nothing but death should separate between them.