Christian Economy, Treatise · Chapter 8
CHAP. 8.
Of Mariage.
MAriage is that, wherby the coniunction formerly begunne in the contract, is solemnely manifested, and brought to perfection. Mariage is consummate by three sorts of actions; one of the parents of the Bride and Bridegroome, the other of the Minister in publike, the third of the persons coupled together.
The action of the Parents is vponupon the Mariage-day, to bring the Bride, and deliuer her to the Bride-groome, that they two may become actually man and wife, and performe each to other all matrimoniall duties.
And where the mariage is complete, in any other manner, so as the Parents vponupon sound iudgement and deliberation, shall deny their full and free consent, either in expresse words, or by cō niuence and silence, and that vponupon iust and lawfull cause; there, though in the ciuill courts of men, it may stand, and the children borne therein bee legitimate before men, yet the truth is, before God it is of no force, but a meere nullitie.
And because this doctrine, touching consent of parents in these Cases, is of great vse, and auaileth much to the supporting and mai…ining of families; I will first open the truth thereof, and then proue it by reasons.
VnderUnder the name of parents are comprehended; First, the Father and Mother. Secondly, all Tutors and Guardians, who hauehave the proper & sole charge of wards, or others vnderunder yeares of discretion. Thirdly, all such as are kindred of blood, who are in stead of parents to childrē, as the vncle by the fathers side, the vncle by the mothers side, and such like.
Now touching the consent of parents, that is, of father and mother, I hold it requisite of necessitie to marriage: For the authoritie of parents must not be resisted, or violated. As for Tutors, and such as hauehave the place of parents, their consent is not required of necessitie, but*De honestate. of honestie at least, because the power and authoritie of the parent, though it be not taken away, yet it is lessened, when it is either transferred to another person, or in part resteth in the child alreadie bestowed.
Secondly, by parents consent, I vnderstand that which they giuegive, not rashly, vnaduisedlie, or foolishlie, but out of good & wise consideration, and vponupon true and sound iudgement, of the businesse in hand: For otherwise, as much as in them lieth, they make the mariage void and of none effect. And they are then thought to carrie a right iudgement of the thing, when they be able to yeeld a iust cause of yeelding, or denying their consent. For example; if a father denies to bestow his daughter Iulia vponupon Sempronius, because hee knowes him to be an Arrian, a Pelagian, or of any other sort of Heretikes; he withholdeth his consent vponupon a good ground, & he doth that which he doth, of iudgement.
Yet further I adde, that where the parents do dissent, and can yeeld no probable cause thereof; the mariage consummate without their consent, ought to be confirmed and ratified by the authoritie of the Magistrate, who is Pater patriae. And this seemes to be the most equall course, both for the auoiding of greater scandals, & for the preuenting of wrong, that may otherwise be done in some particular case, as to a woman that is defloured and reiected.
Thirdly, consent of parents is either expressed, or implied; Expressed, when it is giuen by words; Implied, when it is yeelded by silence. For it standeth with most equitie and indifferencie, to thinke that those parents do giuegive consent, who do not by word expresly denie the same.
Fourthly, children are either subiect to the authoritie of their parents in the familie; or at their owne libertie, & out of their parents subiection. Those that are at liberty, are tied necessarily to subiection in respect of mariage; but the other being still of the familie, and vnderunder iurisdiction, are bound to be ordered, by their parents in the bestowing of themselues.
This is briefly the meaning of the question in hand. Now, for proofe of this point, I will propound three sorts of arguments, wherof some are drawne from the law of God, some from the light of nature, and some from the iudgement of the ancient Church.
For the first sort. According to the law of God, mariage is not only a ciuill and politike, but also a diuine and spirituall coniunction, the author and ordainer whereof, vponupon speciall cause, was God himselfe: This our Sauiour Christ witnesseth, when he saith, Those whom God hath ioyned together, let no man separate, Matth. 19. 6. That therefore mariages may be soundly ratified and confirmed, the authoritie and power of God himselfe is necessarily to be interposed.
If it be asked, How God that is in heauen, should bring and ioyne together man and wife vponupon the earth?
I answere, that he doth it not immediately by himselfe, as he brought Euah vntounto Adam, but in & by some solemne and lawful meanes. And this meane, is that great and ancient power and prerogatiue of parēts. And the law of God hath giuen them this power, not in ciuill contracts and compositions alone, but euen in the beginning and accomplishing of mariages. Deut. 7. 3. Thou shalt not giuegive thy daughter vntounto his sonne, nor take his daughter vntounto thy son. Ierem. 29. 6. Take wiues for your sonnes, and giuegive your daughters vntounto husbands, that they may beare sonnes and daughters. 1. Cor. 7. 36. But if any man thinke that it is vncomlie for his virgin, if shee passe the flower of her age, and need so require, let him doe what he will, he sinneth not, let them be maried.
Hence it was, that Abraham by right of this authoritie, gaue order what wife his seruant should prouide for his son; Thou shalt not take a wife to my sonne of the daughters of the Canaanites; But thou shalt go vntounto my countrie, and to my kindred, and take a wife vntounto my sonne Isaac, Gen. 24. 3. 4. Sampson, though he was inflamed with the louelove of the womā in Timnath, whom he saw to be beautifull in his eyes, yet hee durst not take her to his wife, till she was giuen him of his parents, Iudg. 14. It was an expresse law of God, that if a man intised a maid that was not betrothed, and lay with her, hee should endow her, and take her to his wife: But how? marke in what manner the holy Ghost proceedeth, If her father refuse to giuegive her to him, he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins, Exod. 22. 16. 17. Deut. 22. 28. 29. In which text, Moses plainly teacheth, that the consent of the two parties is not sufficient, no not though they hauehave had societie together, vnlesse they hauehave the free cō sent of their parents also. In like maner it was ordained by God, Numb. 30. 4. 5. 6. That if a woman vowed a vow vntounto the Lord, being in her fathers house, & her father hearing it, holdeth his peace concerning her, that is, approueth her vow by winking at it, her vow shall stand. But if her father disallow her, that is, giueth no approbation or consent vntounto the vow made, it shall be of no value, and the Lord wil forgiue her, because her father consented not. Now, if the vow of children made vntounto God, and pertaining to his worship, cannot be ratified without the parents approbation; of how much lesse force shall any priuate contract or mariage be, without their allowance?
The second argument is taken from the light of nature, and it is gathered by proportion on this manner: A son priuilie alienateth and selleth away his fathers lands, either in whole or in part. The question is, whether this alienation be good in law, yea or no? Answere is, No. And why? Because the land did not belong to the son, but was part of his fathers substance. In like manner, a son alienates himselfe, and is betrothed to a woman, to marrie her without his parents knowledge: Is this act of the son warrantable and sound? By no meanes; for the son in respect of his body, is part of the fathers goods, and may not be alienated from him without consent. A notable reason hereof we find in Iob 1. For when God had giuen Satan power to destroy and spoile all Iobs goods, and whatsoeuer he had, the diuell doth not only touch the wealth of Iob, but his children also, as a part of his substance. In this respect the Iewes were permitted by God to sell their children. Exodus 21. 7.
Againe, for the accomplishment of mariage, there must needs be a mutuall donation, betweene the spouse and the espoused. And what is that which is mutually giuen? Surely their persons, or rather their bodies each to other, for so Paul saith, 1. Cor. 7. 2. Let eueryevery man hauehave his wife, and let eueryevery woman hauehave her owne husband. But by whom is this donation to be made? by sons and daughters that are in the familie, vnderunder the iurisdiction of their parents? It may not be; For nature her selfe taketh it for granted, that he which is not at his own libertie, cannot yeeld to the giuing of himselfe. The donation therefore remaines in the right of the parent, in as much as the wil & consent of the child, ought to depend vponupon his wil and consent, to whom God hath giuen power and authoritie in this behalfe.
In the third place, let the iudgement of the ancient Church be obserued. Ambrose, in his first booke of the Patriarch Abraham, chap. 9. requires this consent in mariages, which he saith is so equall and agreeable to nature, that euē the Poets acknowledged the same. For which purpose he reciteth two verses out of the Grecian Poet Euripides, in his Tragedie called Andromacha, wherin in when Orestes desired to marrie Hermion, she frames him this answere, That the matter of her mariage wholly depended vponupon the pleasure and authoritie of her father, & was not in her owne power or libertie. Innocentius, who was both a Pope and Martyr, in his decretall epistles, so strictly requireth consent of parents,Sub Innocent. 3. canon. 51. as where it is wanting, he concludes the mariage to be void. In the Coū cell of Lateran, it was decreed that Clandestine contracts & secret mariages, made and vndertaken betweene partie and partie, should be holden as vnlawfull as mariages in those degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie, which are forbidden by God. Tertullian saith,Tertul. lib. ad vxorem, 2. ad finem. That in this world the sonne cannot *Ritè & Iure. Basil. epist. 1. ad Amphiloch. Canon, 42.rightly and lawfully marrie without the allowance of his father. Basil in an Epistle to Amphilochius Bishop of Iconium, affirmeth; That mariages which are made without them which hauehave power ouer the parties, are fornications, and therefore that they which are ioyned together in mariage, while their parents or masters liue, are in no sort free from imputation of sin, vntill they hauehave approbation from them, for then mariage is ratified & confirmed, when they hauehave yeelded allowance thereunto.
The second Action touching the consummation of mariage, is the action of the Minister. And that is the blessing or sanctification thereof, which is a solemne worke, wherby the Minister pronouncing the parties contracted to be man and wife before the whole congregation, commendeth them and their estate vntounto God by solemne prayer.
This solemne sanctification is grounded vponupon the practise of God himselfe, who hauing giuen Euah to Adam, blessed them, saying, Increase and multiplie, Gen. 2. 22. and 1. 27. For that which God then gaue, the Minister standing in his roome, now prayeth may be giuen to the man and wife. Yea it is agreeable to the generall rule of the Apostle, Let all things bee done decently and in order, 1. Cor. 14. 40.
Now that this action is to be approued and vsed in the Church, appeares by these reasons. I. Mariage as it is a publike action, so it is after a sort a spirituall and diuine ordinance, whereby it differeth from the contract: For the contract being meerely ciuill, as it standeth by consent of men, so by the same consent, it may bee broken and dissolued, but with mariage it is otherwise. II. Marriage is the Seminarie of the Church and Common-wealth. III. It was the practise of ye Primitiue Church. Tertullian speaking of the marriage of Christians with Christians,Lib. 2. ad vxorem. acknowledgeth himselfe not to bee able sufficiently to declare the happines of that coniunction which is made by the Church, consecrated by prayers & *Oblationem sic exponit Beatus Rhenanus. Niceph. lib. 14. cap. 55. Ambros. epistolar. lib. 9. epist. 70. ad Vigilium.solemne seruice, witnessed by the Angels, and ratified by God himselfe. Nicephorus reporteth of one Synesius, who auouched that God & the lawes, and the holy hand of Thesphylus had giuen him a wife. Ambrose saith, That mariage ought to be sāctified, with the vaile wherewith the Priest was wont to couer the Bride and the Bride-groome in the publike congregation, and with his blessing.
The third and last action belonging to the accomplishment of this estate, is, that of the parties themselues, whereby the Bride is in decent and modest manner, brought vntounto the house and home of the Bride-groome. It is the law of this estate published by God himselfe in Paradise, that the man, euen in respect of habitation, should leaue father and mother and cleaue to his wife, Gen. 2. 24,
Heere question is moued, whether mariage is to be solemnized with mirth and feasting. Answ. I. It is lawfull and warrantable to vse feasting and mirth at mariages, because these be things indifferent, and wee hauehave examples thereof in the Scriptures. Laban made a feast at the wedding of Iacob and Rachel, and inuited all the men of the place to it, Gen. 29. 22. Christ himselfe did approue the resort of people to the mariage at Cana in Galilee, both by his presence, and by that honorable gift of sixe water-pots of the best wine, Ioh. 2. 2. 7. 8. II. It is not only lawfull, but conuenient and fit to be done, if there be abilitie; according to the commendable custome of the place & countrie wherin men do dwell; so as in the vse thereof, these cautions bee obserued. First, that in mirth and merry-making, there be care had that nothing be done which is dishonest, prophane, or of ill report. Philip. 4. 8. Whatsoeuer things are honestpure of good report, thinke on these things. Secondly, That ioy in them be mixed and moderated with the feare of God, without which Laughter and reioycing is meere madnesse, Eccles. 2. 2. Thirdly, That it bee performed in a moderate and sober vse of the creatures, without riot & excesse. Thus we reade that at the great feast of Ahashuerosh, it was appointed by the King himself, that they should drink orderly, & none might compel another to drinke more then he thought conuenient, Ester 1. 8. And where weddings are kept contrary to these directions, they are not feasts celebrated vntounto God, but vntounto ye diuell; which also may be said of all other festiuall meetings.
And so much touching the point of mariage, in which this is to be remembred for a cōclusion, That where there is generally a nullitie in the contract, or a separation following vponupon it, there is also a nullity in regard of the consummation of mariage.