The Ready Way to Good Works, Chapter 6
CHAP. VI. That wives are to doe good workes.
ALbeit the caſe be farre otherwiſe with the wife, than with the widdow, in regard ſhe hath loſt her proprietie in her owne bodie, goods and worldly ſubſtance, and is incorporated into another bodie, whereunto ſhee is ſubordinate and inferiour, not the head; yet for all this ſhe is ſtill bound to be charitable. Firſt, in affection and diſpoſition of heart, as being a Chriſtian woman hewed out of the ſame rocke of mankinde, redeemed with the ſame blood, a member of the ſame myſticall body, ſenſible of the ſame infirmities and diſtreſſes, and beautified with the ſame inward gifts of the Holy Ghoſt, faith, hope and charitie, as other Saints are. Shee may bee, nay ſhe muſt bee ever charitably minded, though ſhe cannot alwaies bee as openhanded as ſhee pleaſe, and yet we finde in the Scriptures, that many wives had both hearts, and hands too, to give to the poore. Such were the good p2 King. 4. 10.Shunamite, the honourable qLuk. 8. 3.Joanna, Herods ſtewards wife, wiſe r1 Sam. 25.Abigaile, the bountifull wife of a churliſh Naball, women more renowned and ſNobilitas animi ſola eſt atque unica virtus: Juven. Sat. 8.ennobled by their graces, than their places, wealth or pedegree, and ſuch a one was that tProv. 31. 10. 20.Vertuous wife, which Salomon deſcribes ſo largely in his Proverbs, and preferres farre above Gemmes or Rubies: So that then you ſee wives ſhould not onelyonly bee charitable in affection or intention, but alſo in action, as farre as it might ſtand with Gods glorie; the rules of religion, and their husbands abilities.
1. The grace of Charitie, whereſoever it is (and it ought to bee in a wife, as well as in a husband, there is an equall capacitie of that grace both in the one and in the other, and the Holy Ghoſt in the free diſpenſation and effuſion of his ſaving gifts, reſpects no places, perſons or Sexes) is a predominant and operative grace, and will outwardly ſhew it ſelfe: It will inflame the whole man to the exerciſe of goodneſſe, imploy every ſence and member in a charitable buſineſſe, ſet the heart open, the bowels open, the eares open, the eyes open, and the hands open to the comfortleſſe and needy Chriſtians. There may be a Sunne without light, as ſoone as a truely and feelingly charitable ſoule without reall teſtimonies and evidences thereof towards the extremely miſerable and diſtreſſed brethren.
2. For the better incouragement of them to this dutie, let them remember that there are many examples recorded in the Scriptures for their inſtruction, and imitation. The Apoſtle ſpeaking of the choiſe of a widdow, deſcribes her by her life paſt when ſhee was a wife, and ſets downe that ſhee muſt bee ſuch a one as hath beene the u1 Tim. 5. 9. 10.wife of one Husband, well reported of for good workes, a bringer up of Children, a lodger of ſtrangers, a releever of the afflicted, &c. And *1 Tim. 2. 9 10.elſewhere ſpeaking of wives and married women concludes that they ought to abound in this grace alſo.
3. They are made heires with1 Pet. 3. 7. their husbands togither of the ſame grace of life and glorie, and why ſhould they not partake with them of the grace of charity as the x2 Cor. 8. 6, 7.Apoſtle calleth it. They may enjoy, embrace and follow the Miniſtery of the Word, Act. 21. 5. and why ſhould they not practiſe theſe generall Chriſtian duties commended and commaunded by the ſame Word? They are Gods workemanſhip as well as men created in Chriſt Eph. 2. 10.Jeſus unto good workes, and ought they not then to walke in them, and to bee zealous of the ſame? If any therefore falſely conceive that women, quatenus wives, may be excepted and exempted from liberalitie and almeſ-giving, they groſſely deceive themſelves, for with what comfort can they looke ChriſtMatth. 25. in the face at the laſt day, if they never fed, or clothed, or viſited him in his members here on earth: And further I muſt let them know that Matrimonie was inſticuted to be a bridle for ſinne, and not to be a hindrance or obſtacle in religion and pious performances.
But that wives may give, will not (I ſuppoſe) bee denied or gaine-ſaid by any, yet that none might be miſtaken in this matter, here next we are to conſider and lay downe a few rules and neceſſarie obſervations in this point of wives almes-giving. Firſt, what wives are fit to give. Secondly, whereof they may give. Thirdly, how they ought to carrie and demean themſelves in giving. For the firſt, you muſt know that all are not of capacitie, underſtanding, and diſcretion to diſtribute judiciouſly and religiouſly to the truly miſerable, ſome of that Sexe are ſuch brainleſſe, heartleſſe, careleſſe, creatures, that they have neither a will to give, nor a hand to work, nor a wit to diſcerue betweene the unworthie conditions and true wants of the diſtreſſed. Therefore for the clearing and reſolution of all doubts, and the preventing of all cavils and needleſſe queſtions, we will reduce wives into two rankes, whereof ſome are ſufficiently qualified and fit to give, and others not. Wives unfit to give are ſuch as theſe.
1. The woman who is deſtitute of wiſedome and diſcretion characterized by Salomon in the Proverbs and ſet out by theſeProv. 19. 3. & 11. 22. Epithets, fooliſh, ſimple, indiſcreete, knowing nothing: for as it is ſaid of a fooliſh man, that hee will yProv. 21. 20.ſpend up the oile and treaſure of the wiſe, ſo much more truely may it be ſaid concerning a fooliſh woman, who is ſo farre from maintaining or ſupporting a houſe or family, that ſhee contrarily zPro. 14. 1.plucketh it downe with her hands.
2. The clamorous and contentious wife who unreaſonably diſturbes the eares of her huſband with her intemperate tongue, and fearefully ſo diſtempers the Aire where ſhee lives, with ſtrange noiſes and clamors, till at the length ſhee raiſes ſtormes and tempeſts of bitterneſſe, brawling and unnaturall combuſtions, ſuch a aProv. 19. 13. & 27. 15woman is compared by the wiſe man to a continuall dropping upon a very rainie day, which will force her husband out of his houſe. Zantippe when ſhe had ſoundly cudgelled Socrates with her tongue, at length drave him quite out of doores, ſo will ſuch a ſcolding wife quickely make an honeſt man wearie of his owne lodging: for it is bProv. 21. 19.better, and a man will rather chooſe to dwell in the wilderneſſe with Wolves and Lions, than with ſuch a ſtinging Viper and wrathfull ſenceleſſe Bedlam. Who can expect good workes from ſuch a one to other men, who cannot afford good words to her owne husband and ſecond ſelfe?
3. The prodigall and waſtefull wife, for ſhe will ſoone bring a conſumption upon her huſbands ſtate, undermine the foundation of his houſe by ſinne and ſenſualitie, and utterly ruinate herſelfe and her poſteritie: for ſhe is cProdiga non ſentit pereuntem foemina cenſum, ac velut exhauſt… redivivus pullulet arcâ nummus—& non unquam reputat quanti fihi gaudia conſtant Juven. Sat. 6.inſenſible of all imminent miſerie, improvident for the future, and careleſſe and regardleſſe of his or her owne credit, profit or reputation.
4. The idle wife for as dProv. 18. 9.Salomon cals an idle man the brother, ſo may ſhe bee termed the ſiſter of a waſter; ſhee that will not worke, muſt not eat herſelfe, much leſſe ſhould ſhe bee a carver of victuals unto others.
5. The wife that maketh her husband aſhamed by her lewdneſſe, rudeneſſe, imperiouſneſſe, pride, ſenſualitie, and vaine-gloriouſneſſe: for ſuch a wife is as rottenneſſe to his bones, an intollerable torment and torture, and heavie vexation to his heart.
6. The faithleſſe and adulterous wife, for ſhee hath violated the ſacred bonds of wedlocke, …uſtly deprived herſelfe of that affection, libertie, and priviledge, which once was due unto her, and freely conferred upon her from her husband, ſhe may not be purſe-bearer or meddle with his eſtate and ſubſtance, honor is more fit for a foole, than ſuch an office for a Strumpet. eJuven.Quid enim Venus ebria curat? So much concerning wives unqualified and unfit to give. They that are fit to give and may, nay muſt be admitted to the practice of this Heavenly dutie, are to be qualified like the good wife deſcribedProv. 31. 10 by Salomon in the Proverbs. Firſt, ſhe muſt be a wife that is a good woman, Prov. 11. 16. prudent, Prov. 19. 14. a crowne to her husband, vertuous, Prov. 12. 4. that is furniſhed with ſtrength and ſufficient abilities for the fruitfull diſcharge of all family duties. Secondly, a wife on whom the husband may depend and ſafely truſt in: verſ. 11. 3. A wife that is provident in preparing worke aforehand wherein to imploy the houſhold, that ſeeketh wooll and flaxe, and worketh willingly with her hands: verſ. 13. 27. That in her owne perſon is painefull and induſtrious (if need be) and labor to enrich her husband, and to augment his wealth and world… ſubſtance, verſ. 16. 24. 4. A w… that openeth her mouth wi… wiſedome, and in whoſe tong… is the law of kindeneſſe, verſ. 26▪ Laſtly, a wife that knowes how and when to ſtretch forth he… hand to the poore, and to miniſter comfort and helpe to the needie, verſ. 20. What Naba… will hinder or prohibite a wiſe thus rarely qualified from giving to the poore, from lending to the Lord. Nay, ſuppoſe ſhe be not of that exactneſſe and eminencie, and crowned with the concurrent perfections of all thoſe gifts and graces of which that Sexe is capable: If ſhe have not all the perfections, but the requiſite degrees of thoſe vertues, which will in ſome meaſure qualifie her, if ſhee hath but providence to get or keepe, and prudence to give, doubtleſſe ſhee may conſcionably addreſſe herſelfe to the conſtant practice of liberalitie and almeſ-giving.
Now in the next place wee are to make inquirie, of what wives are to give: without controverſie a wife may give and communicate to others.
1. Of that which is her owne, and wholly appropriated to her ſelfe and her owne ſpeciall uſe: Now in that ſhee may be ſaid to have a perſonall propriety. Firſt, which was legally reſerved by her ſelfe or her friends to her owne private uſe before her Marriage: This portion the Husband may not meddle with nor interdict her from diſtributing it according as ſhee pleaſe. Secondly, which her parents, brethren, or affectionate acquaintance freely beſtow upon her after Marriage, unwitting to her Husband either to ſupply her private wants, or to evidence the conſtancy of their love, towards her. Thirdly, what the husband freely confers upon her as an annuitie, fee, vailes, rents, ſet ſtipend, and the like, which are made over and commended to her owne diſcretion and arbitrarie diſpoſing.
2. Of that which is her Huſbands, but then ſhee muſt bee ſure of his conſent and approbation which is twofold. Firſt, either generall and implicite, and this extends not farther then to thoſe things with which ſhee is be truſted, as being her Huſbands Steward within doores to g1 Tim. 5. 14.guide the houſe at home, to order and execute domeſticall buſineſſes in the familie; this implicite conſent is granted by his ſilence, when he is not ignorant of her practiſes, and liberall expences, and yet lovingly convives hereat, not diſallowing or reprooving her charitable acts. Secondly, or elſe particularNumb. 30. 7. and explicite, when hee gives her authority by word of mouth to communicate to the neceſſities of the poore. The implicite and ſilent conſent may bee a ſufficient warrant for her onelyonly in ſmall matters, but in affaires of more weight and conſequence his particular expreſſe allowance muſt be had: As for inſtance the good Shunamite entertained and refreſhed the Prophet with bread, and ſuch things as ſhe had by vertue of her Husbands generall and implicite approbation, 2 King. 4. 8. But when ſhe reſolved to build a chamber, and to provide other neceſſaries and conveniencies for Eliſha, then ſhee acquaints him with her intent, and intreats him to accompliſh her deſire, and to condeſcend to a particular and expreſſe conſent, 2 King. 4. 10. Thus yo… have heard how Wives may give with their Husbands conſent and approbation.
But now imagine he grant i… not of his owne accord, neithe… the one nor the other, then it very much concernes her to labo… by all importunate intreaties, and ſweete compellations to procure it, and not preſumptuouſly … take upon her to diſpoſe of al… things as ſhee pleaſeth, becauſe ſhe intends or pretends Charitie and good works. Firſt, for God hath appointed him to be Head and Maſter, Epheſ. 5. 23. an… though ſhee bee more wiſe an… Charitable than her husband yet ſhee hath no warrant out o… Gods Word to juſtle him out o… that ranke and ſtation wherein Gods providence and All-ſeeing wiſedome hath placed him in. Secondly, Her deſire is to be ſubject unto him, Gen. 3. 16. Thirdly, Her conſcience will reape the more comfort from the good actions ſhe doth while ſhe ſubmits to Gods Ordinance, and obſerves all the circumſtances which are requiſite ro every good worke, it muſt bee done after a right manner as well as to a right end. Fourthly, Godly women have ſought their huſbands approbation, as did the Shunamite in the forenamed caſe. Fifthly, Our lawes, (the which wives muſt make conſcience to obey in this point) doe curbe and reſtraine married Wives from giving in many things, of which read Doctorpag. 172. 174. Gouge of the dutie of Wives. Some men knowing this to bee their prerogative, that the Scepter is placed in their hands, and that their Wives are bound by Gods Law to ſubmit to their manly ſpirits, and riper judgements, may perchance out of their earthlineſſe, and intolerable worldly-mindedneſſe, which is the very cut-throte of all Charitie and liberalitie, take the advantage and unconſcionablely ſtand off, and refuſe to give their conſents unto their wives pious efflagitations and intreaties.
But here by the way then I muſt let the Husband know, that it is unlawfull for him to denie any lawfull petition eſpecially tendred unto him from the wife of his owne boſome.
1. At the day of his marriage he gave her a right and intereſt in his wealth and temporall poſſeſſions, ſolemnely making them over unto her in this forme of ſpeech: With all my worldly goods I thee indow, whence we may inferre that as hee ſtands bound by promiſe to afford al… things requiſite and neceſſary for her bodie and outward eſtate and condition, ſo likewiſe in Charitie hee is much more obliged to allot her thoſe things which may conduce unto the eternall good and ſafetie of her ſoule.
2. Hee muſt remember that his wife is a Chriſtian as well as himſelfe, that ſhe hath a ſoule to be ſaved, ſanctified, purified, and beautifi'd with good works, as well as hee, why then ſhould he not afford her a large and liberall allowance, that ſo ſhee might practice good duties, and exerciſe her faith, love, and charitie, by releeving and ſuſtaining the poore.
3. We finde in the Scriptures that men of a right noble and ingenuous diſpoſition ſcorned to ſtand upon ſuch trifles, to confine their deare wives to any2 King. 4. Luke 8. pinching allowance. The Shunamites husband did eaſily give way unto her, ſo did Chuza Herods ſteward to his wife Joanna, ſo did the husband deſcribed in the Proverbs to his vertuous andProv. 31. 11. 28. induſtrious good wife: and therefore he ought not to bee averſe and inexorable in this caſe, but tractable and flexible in a matter of ſuch conſcience and conſequence: Let the husband take heede he play not the part of a churliſh Nabal, leſt that for his hard-heartedneſſe hee be turned into a ſtone.
4. It will kindle a great deale of true love in the heart of a religious wife, and cauſe her to faſten a conſtant and everlaſting affection upon her husband, when ſhe perceives that he more reſpects her ſpirituall, than his owne temporall welfare, and that hee loves her ſoule better than his owne earthly droſſe.
Laſtly his free and unconſtrained approbation of his wives liberalitie is a cleere evidence of his owne open-heartedneſſe, whereas on the contrarie his ſtubborne drawing backe, and inflexible inexorableneſſe in a caſe of ſuch pietie and conſcience would but expoſe him to a cenſure of uncharitableneſſe, and a ſuſpicion of niggardlineſſe for croſſing his wives petitions, and damming up the fountaine of her charitie with foule tearmes and churliſh anſweres as the *Gen. 26. 15.Philiſtins did Abrahams wels with earth. The husband and wife ſhould goe hand in hand to Heaven, and further one another in the way of weldoing. Let him take heed then hee clip not the wings of her charitable affections, by his covetous, churliſh, and cutting denials.
May the wife give of that Queſt. which is her husbands at no time, nor upon any occaſion without either his expreſſe or implicite conſent?
Doubtleſſe in ſome caſes Anſw. ſhe may; as for inſtance:
1. When the Husband is growne fooliſh, blockiſh, ſtupid or lunaticke, void of judgement or underſtanding, utterly unqualified and indiſpoſed for the managing of his eſtate.
2. When by reaſon of his naturall weakneſſes, diſeaſes and impotencie of old age he is faine to bid farewell to the world, and commend all domeſticall affairs and worldly buſineſſes to the wives care and providence.
3. When the husband is long abſent from home, and detained in remote or forraigne countries by vertue of his calling and neceſſarie employments or negotiation, as it is a frequent caſe with Merchants, Marriners, Souldiers, and ſuch like.
4. When ſhee by her owne handie-labour and induſtriouſneſſe maintaines her husband and the whole family, and bears a watchfull eye over all buſineſſes both within doors and without: In all theſe caſes the Governement ſeemeth to bee caſt upon her; The greateſt burthen upon the weaker veſſell.
5. When the wife is a wiſe Abigail, and the husband a ſtony and prodigiouſly covetous Nabal; who would rather draw a juſt deſerved confuſion on his ſoule body and ſubſtance, then miniſter any comfort even unto a David in his affliction.
6. And laſtly, ſhe may be liberall unto the poore, without warrant from her husband, in a caſe of true neceſſitie and extremitie, when preſent reliefe upon point of periſhing is required either for backe, belly, or lodging.Ambroſe Paſce fame morientem, ſi non paviſti, occidisti, feed him that is readie to ſtarve, if thou doſt not, thou art not his brother, but his butcher. It ſeemeth by Abigails words, that had ſhe met with Davids meſſengers, ſhe would have ſatisfied his expectation, and furniſhed him with all ſorts of victuals without Nabals approbation, 1 Sam. 25. 25. And indeed God will ſometimes and in ſome caſes diſpence with his owne Ordinances, and the rules which hee hath impoſed on his creatures to obſerve; as he did in the like caſe of extreme hunger, Matth. 12. 3. 4. 7.
And in theſe and the like caſes ſhe muſt looke to proceed.
1. Ever as a wife, as not having a ſupreame and abſolute power of her ſelfe, but a borrowed and ſubordinate authoritie from her husband, not as if ſhee were ſole lord and maſter, but onelyonly a faithfull ſteward, and disburſer of his eſtate and worldly wealth. The law of our land tieth wives with an inhibition, that they may not uſurpe a free and uncontrollable adminiſtration and diſpoſing of their husbands goods as they pleaſe: and the conſideration hereof ſhould ſerve to make them to be quiet and ſubmiſſive, and to ſit downe humbly contented with their allotted portion.
2. As a Chriſtian wife, if God hath bleſſed her with a tender-hearted and well-conditioned husband, then it highly concernes her to returne the greater praiſe unto the Lord, and a larger meaſure of conjugall affection unto the husband, and with the more cheereful alacritie and willingnes to ſubmit and yeeld unto his deſires and reaſonable commands. But and if ſhe unhappily meete with a man of a dogged diſpoſition, churliſh nature, inflexible ſpirit, one who is utterly averſe from any good workes; why then ſhe muſt improove to the uttermoſt all her witte and diſcretion to alter and reclaime him, and ply the throne of grace with extraordinary importunity of prayer for his reformation and converſion.
Lastly, this question may be Queſt. made whether it doth nothing concerne Children and Servants to give as well as Fathers and Masters?
As for hired Servants, who Anſw. receive a ſet ſtipend and wages quarterly or yeerely from their Maſters, without all queſtion they may give thereof, but not of any thing elſe where with they are intruſted without expreſſe leave or cōmand from their Maſters. And as concerning children that are of yeeres and diſcretion, they likewiſe may lawfully give out of their Parents allowance or of their owne private ſtocke, and it were a very worthy and commendable practice in religious and wealthy Parents, as to educate them in pietie, and the bleſſed paths of godlineſſe, ſo likewiſe to traine them up in the duties of Charitie; As thus, to put farthings, pence or money of more or leſſe value into their hands to give to honeſt and truly needy Chriſtians as occaſion ſhall bee offered. It would not be amiſſe certainely thus to initiate them into the waies of Salvation, and to ſeaſon them in their tender yeeres with ſuch holy and heavenly practiſes and inſtructions. Naturâ tenaciſſimi ſumus corum qua rudibus annis percepimus. We are (ſaith a moſt eloquent Orator) moſt tenaciousQuint. orat: inſtitut. lib. 1. cap. 1. Sapor quo nova imbuas durat: n…c lanarum colores quibus ſimplex ille Candor mutatus eſt, elui poſſunt ibid. and retentive of thoſe things which we learned in our rude and tender age: and woolles (ſaith the ſame Author) hardly loſe thoſe colours in which they were firſt well dyed: So it will be a difficult thing to relinquiſh and ſurceaſe from the practice of thoſe vertues in the which at the firſt we were well habituated and inſtructed. Nay, the reall actes of Charitie by the frequent reiteration of them will bee ſo firmely radicated in our young and tender memories, that in riper yeeres they will be as ſo many Mementoes to us to put us in minde to be ſtill ſo doing, and it will ſomething ſticke… in the conſcience of man to conſider with himſelfe, how he hath Apoſtatized and fallen from his primitive goodneſſe, and that it is a very dangerous and fearefull thing to be a young Saint and an old divell.