Fourteen Points of Consolation, Chapter 1
THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE FIRST CONſideration, which is of the inward euil.
THis is certaine and moſte true, whether man beleeue it or not, that there can be none ſo great trouble & veration in man, which is the worſt of the euills which are in him, ſo many moe and greater euils are there in him then which he feeleth. For if he felt his euill, he ſhould feele euen hell: for he hath hel in him ſelf. Dooſt thou demaund, how? Man hath hell in him ſelfe, which is the greateſt euill in him.The Prophet ſayth: All men are lyars. And againe: EueryEvery man liuing is altogither vanitie. Now to be a lyar and vaine is to be voyd of veritie, & not to be in deed: but to be without veritie, and not to be in deede, is to be without God, and to be nothing: and this is to be in hell, and to be condemned. Therefore God mercifully chaſtening vsus, openeth vntounto vsus and layeth vponupon vsus the ſmaller & lighter euils, knowing, that if he ſhould bring man to ye knowledge of his euill, he ſhould forthwith periſh in a moment: howbeit he hath giuen it to ſome to hauehave a feeling and taſte of it, of whome it is ſayd: He bringeth downe to the graue, and fetcheth vp againe. Wherefore they ſay rightly who cal corporal ſufferings certaine aduertizements of the inward euill. And the Apoſtle Heb. 12 calleth them ye fatherly chaſtenings of God, ſaying: VVhy God ſcourgeth eueryevery ſonne whom he receiueth.He ſcourgeth eueryevery ſonne that he receiueth. Which he therefore doth, that by theſe ſcourges and ſmall euills he may expell thoſe great euills, leaſt we ſhould at any time feele them, as it is ſayd Prouerb. 22: Fooliſhnes is bound in the hart of the child, and the rod of correction ſhall driue it away. Are not godly parents alſo more grieued by their childrē if they be theeues or euill, then if they be wounded? yea they doe them ſelues beat and wound them that they may not be euill.
What therefore is the cauſe that this very euil is not felt? Godſuffereth not mā to feele his greateſt euill, and why.truely as I hauehave ſaid, God diſpoſing it it commeth ſo to paſſe, that man may not be vtterly diſcouraged, if he ſhould ſee his moſt inward euils. For God hideth them, and will hauehave them ſeene by only faith, while he ſheweth them by the euill that is felt. Therefore in the day of affliction or when thou ſuffereſt euil thinges, remember good thinges: conſider howe great a good thinge it is not to know all the euill, be mindfull of this good thinge, and the euil which thou feeleſt ſhal leſſe diſquiet or trouble thee. So againe in the day when thou enioyeſt good thinges, remember euill things, that is, while thou art not grieued with thoſe that be very euills in deede, in this want of griefe be thankefull, and remember the very euills, then will it come to paſſe that thou ſhalt leſſe feele the euill that is felt.
It is manifeſt therefore that the want of griefe is alwayes greater in man in this life, then griefe, not for that the whole euill is not preſent, but becauſe there is no opinion or affection thereof by the goodnes of God, who hideth it. Hereupon we ſee them to whom it is giuen to behold their very euill, howe rigorous and cruell they are againſt them ſelues, howe they count it nothing whatſoeuer they can ſuffer in their whole life, ſo as they feele not their hel. So would eueryevery one doe, if he either felt or firmely beleeued his inward eeuill: he would of his owne accord call for outward euills, he would ſport in them, & would neuer be more ſad or ſorrowfull, thē when he had no euills, as we know ſome of the Sainctes to hauehave done.
Wherefore in the firſt comfortable conſideration, The comfort of the firſt conſideration.a man may ſay to him ſelf: thou dooſt not yet, O man, feele thine euill, reioyce and giuegive thankes, that thou art not compeld to feele it: and ſo a ſmall euil being compared with one that is very great, ſhall be made light and eaſie. This is that which ſome ſaye: I hauehave deſerued farre worſe things, yea euen hel it ſelfe: an eaſie thing ſurely to be ſpoken, but intolerable to be felt. And this euil albeit it be hid, yet doth it ſhew forth his frutes ſufficiēt grieuous: Frutes of the greateſt euill which is in man.theſe are feare and the vncertainty of a trembling conſcience, whereby faith is impugned, whiles man knoweth not or douteth whether he hath God fauorable vntounto him, which frute is ſo much more bitter as faith is weaker. And this only infirmitie being wel weyed, foraſmuch as it is ſpiritual, is farre more grieuous then that of the body, which it doth make euen moſt light, being diligently compared vntounto it.
Beſide theſe, to the inward euils pertaineth all that tragedy, which the Preacher deſcribeth, whereas he ſo often maketh mention of vanitie and affliction of the ſpirit. For how many counſels doe we take in vaine? how many of our deſires are fruſtrate? how many thinges doe we ſee, how many things do we heare which we would not? Euen thoſe thinges which tende to our deſire, fall out contrary to our deſire, ſo that there is nothing entire and perfect. Moreouer all theſe thinges are ſo muche greater as one is placed in higher place or ſtate, who muſt needes be roſt with farre more and greater ſourges, waues, & tempeſts, then the reſt that are troubled with the ſame thinge, ſo that the 103. Pſalme ſayth well: ſmall and great beaſtes, and thinges creeping innumerable, are in the ſea of this worlde, that is, infinite ſortes of tentations, wherefore Iob chap. 7. calleth the life of man a tentation. Now theſe are not therefore no euils becauſe they are litle felt, but becauſe through vſe and daily cuſtome they are nothing accounted of, and affliction & opinion in theſe is worne out, by the worke of God: wherefore thoſe that be rare doe rather moue, which as yet we hauehave by no vſe learned to contemne. So that it is true, that we doe feele ſcarce the thouſandth part of our euills: it is alſo true that out euills are meaſured, felt, or not felt, not by the veritie of the thinge, but by our opinion and affection.