The Godly Mans Journey to Heaven, Treatise 1 · Meditation 10
10. Learne, ô man, to accuse thy selfe before God for thy sinnes to thy conuersion, lest that bold accuser of Christs brethren accuse thee to God to thy condemnation.
FOrget not, ô my soule, to giuegive in a bill of complaint against thy selfe to thy God, accusing thy selfe, and condemning thy selfe before his Maiestie, for the secret sinnes committed by thee, hid from the world, yet knowne to him: and with this forget not to giuegive in the like bill against thy selfe, before God, before Angels, yea before men, for thy manifest and knowne sinnes, seene by that Sunne which shineth by day, and not kept secret from that Moone which gouerneth by night. For if thou, ô my soule, deceiued by that old cunning deceiuer, who as yet taketh pleasure to deceiue, shalt attempt to refuse (for any alluring promise made vntounto thee, or any threatning harme pronounced against thee) to giuegive in these bils against thy selfe, to the end that thou happily iudging thy selfe, be not iustly condemned with the world, I know one (taught of my God) who will both boldly and confidently giuegive in his bill against thee, aiming at no lesse then thy comfortlesse confusion and remedilesse condemnation. Alas, alas, ô my soule, when shall the dead senslesse sinners of this age, reade with attention, and consider with meditation, the fearefull style which that good Spirit of God our teacher, giueth to that euill spirit the diuell our irreconciliable aduersarie? Is not that euill spirit styled by that good Spirit,Reu. 12. 10 The accuser of the brethren? Whereby thy teacher, ô my soule, the Spirit of thy Father, & of thy Sauiour, would teach thee, that no sooner doth any of the children of God commit sinne, especially any knowne grosse sinne, against his Maiestie, but incontinent that euill one presenteth, craftily and ma…iciously, the names and surnames of those with their sinnes before God, crying, O Lord! thy Maiestie made this man to thy owne Image, thy Maiestie deliuered thy Sonne to the death for him, thy Maiestie was readie by thy Spirit to renew him; and yet for all this thy great louelove, hath he not defiled himselfe with abhominable idolatrie, bloudie murthers, filthie adulteries and fornications, brutish drunkennesse, mercilesse oppressions, and wilt thou no… ô iust Iudge of all the world, rub shame vppon the face of such a one, who hath so grosly rubbed shame vponupon thy name, and vponupon thy blessed Gospell professed by him? Yea wilt thou not, ô iust iudge of the world, ad…udge such a one to be mine for euer, who hath (after the offer and proofe of such louelove and kindnesse) refused to be thine? O my soule, wilt thou not be loath that such an accusation be made against thee, especially by such an accuser? Forget not then, forget not, to accuse thy selfe before thy God; yea to shame thy selfe before men (as men now account shame) to the end that his Maiestie may be moued out of pitie, for thy Sauiours sake, to excuse thee, euen before and against the diuell, thine accuser and deadliest enemie, neuer forgetting that which is spoken by Hierome: Hieron. ep. 55.Melius est confundi coram peccatoribus super terram, quam coram Angelis sanctis in coelo. It is better to be ashamed before sinners on earth, then before Angels in heauen.
II. Let none beside thy God, teaching thee by his written word, be thy Maister and leader on earth, if thou wouldest walke here before him, and reigne hereafter with him.
BLind man, leauing the first path in the which he should stay his steps while he iourneyeth here, is made to fall from that high-way in the which alone he should walke, and to debosh himselfe in that by-way which leadeth him, alas, towards that lake, out of the which there is no redemption. Because man, ô my soule, cannot seeke after that onelyonly true director and guide, who neither can deceiue nor be deceiued; while he looketh for life, he findeth in the end nothing but death; yea while delighting himselfe vnhappily with his present foolish sports, he promiseth great commodities and comforts vntounto himselfe, confusion, yea condemnation proue in the end to be his sole portion. What noble wise man, ô my soule, hauing his child to put to schoole, doth not euen after mature deliberation, make choise both of the maister by whom he would hauehave him taught, and of the pedagogue by whom he would hauehave him attended? O man, I must tell thee, were thy rayment neuer so course, and thy cheere neuer so small, yet thou lodgest within thy clay bodie an immortall soule, which would be wisely committed to some good maister, well acquainted with heauenly things, and to some faithfull and painfull pedagogue. But where shall such a one be found? Let no man seeke after man to be his maister, to be his pedagogue, but after that blessed God, who onelyonly made man, and is onelyonly able to instruct man truly, and to gouerne him rightly. Is a beast able to teach or to guide another? and must no… a beast hauehave a man to teach it, and to guide it? So must man, seeking after a maister, and after a pedagogue, seek after one worthier then himselfe, running to the face of God, running to the mouth of God, euen to holy Scripture, by the which he sheweth himselfe to man, by the which he speaketh to man, inquiring there to what way he shall take himselfe, and in what way he shall keepe himselfe, while he soiourneth here: to the end when that night of death shall fall downe vponupon him, he may set his feete vppon the thr…shold of the gate of that citie,Reu. 21. …7. within the which no vncleane thing possibly can e…er. Oh my soule, when shall the men of the wo…ld proue so holily wise about the gouerning of their soules (which must necessarily either dye, or liue for euermore) as Manoah the father of Sampson was about the dressing of the bodie of his sonne who was onelyonly to liue for a while with him? He was not present with his wife, when the Angell of God appeared vntounto him; but did he not come to his God and say,Iudg. 13. 8. I pray thee, my Lord, let the man of God whom thou sentest, come againe now vntounto vsus, and teach vsus what we shall do vntounto the child when he is borne. Alas, alas, ô my soule, who runneth thus to God, who prayeth thus to God, that he by his Spirit would teach them out of the blessed booke of his word, what they should do to their soules, and to the soules of those who belong vntounto them while they liue here! Oh Lord, when shall that true answer giuen by thy Maiesties gracious mouth, and made vntounto Dauid thy scholler, inquiring thy Maiestie about this purpose, be hearkened vntounto by the men of this age?Psal. 119. 9. By what meanes shall a yong man redresse his way, by taking heed thereunto according to thy word. Oh would to God that all men could beleeue that which Ambrose did beleeue when he wrote thus: Credimus de Deo, rebusque diuinis, Ambr. ep. 31.ad regnum Christi salutemque nostram pertinentibus; à nemine posse nos melius certiusque doceri quam à Deo ipso, qui nec falli nec fallere potest. We beleeue that we cannot be more assuredly taught touching God and diuine things, which belong to Christ his kingdome and our saluation, then by God himselfe, who neither can be deceiued, nor deceiue. That which our Maister spake to the vile Sadduces touching the ground of their fearefull errour, denying the rising againe of the dead, may be most truly applyed vntounto all kinde of sinners, swaruing from the way of pietie, of righteousnesse, and sobrietie: Thou art an Atheist, an idolater, a profaner of God his Sabbath, an oppressour, a murtherer, a false man, an adulterer, a fornicator, a drunkard; because thou wilt not know, because thou wilt not beleeue, that God is thy onelyonly Maister, and that holy Scripture is that Booke whereby he teacheth thee, what is that thou should eschue, and what is that thou should embrace.